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I am so sick of doing her dirty work. She's taking advantage of us, Homer. | The Missus prefers you call me Simpson. |
That man took my diamond necklace. | Don't worry. You're gonna be just fine. I-- |
That man took my diamond necklace. | O-kay. |
Oh my gosh, she's dead. | Buh... guh... muh... wuh. Zuh. |
So let me get this straight. This mysterious "man with braces" just stabbed the old lady and disappeared? | Without a trace. |
No! | Now if you'll excuse us, we'll just be... DOES THAT EVER WORK? |
No, nah, it never does. | Book 'im, Lou. |
Yeah, if Dad killed everyone he talked about killing, would any of us be here? | You'd be dead a million times. |
I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD / ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY... Yeah, that's better. | Oh man, what a day. I'd kill for a beer. |
Right away, sir. I-I-I don't want no trouble. | I'd stab somebody for a pickle. |
Right away, sir. I-I-I don't want no trouble. | Gimme some peanuts. |
Up-bup-bup. You didn't say you'd kill me. | I'll kill you if you don't give me some peanuts. |
Homer! | What? It goes right by our house. |
I insist on searching every inch of this home personally. | Here's my underwear drawer. |
Oh Homer, what are we going to do? | You know Chief, if you let us go, there's a diamond necklace in it for you. |
I can't believe we've been arrested for murder. | Don't worry, Marge. I'll cut us a deal by becoming a jailhouse snitch. I know who stopped up the toilet! |
But we're innocent! It was the man with the braces. | Can't you do anything? Surprise witnesses? Evidence tampering? Play the race card. Play it. |
I'm also your host. Now let's meet a ghost! | Let's just say I'm planning a little surprise for the execution. This cannon is going to be full when I go off. Ka-boom! |
I'm also your host. Now let's meet a ghost! | Y'know, this is our last night... and our cells are side-by-side... |
It's hard to get in the mood... with all those murderous eyes staring at us... | Just think of them as twinkling stars. |
Homie, I'm sorry. I can't. I just keep thinking about everything we're gonna miss. The kids growing up, grandchildren... | I want to confess. I killed and robbed the old lady all by myself. Marge is completely innocent. The only thing she's guilty of is loving too much the murder I did. |
My love. You saved my life. | Now you do it for me. |
Thank you. | Goodbye, Marge. |
You're on "Frame-Up"! | What?! |
Only me, Carmen Electra! | I knew it! |
"Frame Up" is Fox's latest hit! Right after "No Pants Island" and "Fart Date." | This whole thing was a joke? Oh, I've never been so relieved! Relieved and angry. |
We were in the Green Room. I had so much shrimp! | Well, I'm glad everyone's all right, but I think you should be ashamed -- toying with a human life for TV ratings. |
Uh Homer, my face is up here. | I've made my choice. |
Hey hey! Hey... | So hot, so sticky... |
Hey hey! Hey... | Marge?! |
Dad, no. We're trying to conserve energy. | Lisa, if we start conserving, the environmentalists win! |
JINGLE BELL, JINGLE BELL, JINGLE BELL RO... | Jingle bell what? |
Dad, it's a blackout. | A blackout?! Every time Santa and I get together it's a disaster. |
Look at those looters breaking windows, setting fires... They're living my dream, and you won't let me join them. Please can I throw one little... | No. |
What if I just burn down a... | No. |
Can't I at least incite further... | No! I've caused enough trouble already by plugging in that Santa Claus. No more irresponsible behavior. |
Can I have a beer? | All right, but not the imported. |
Can I have a beer? | You've got to set limits, Marge. |
I don't care what they say. I won't feel safe in this town until we have better police. | Yeah. Wiggum couldn't catch cooties at Milhouse's birthday party. |
Dad... | Oh. Seriously, everyone says your parties rock. |
Homer, this is all your fault. If you hadn't plugged in your dancing Santa, none of this would have happened. | I admit it. I did screw up, but I won't feel guilty until I can put a human face on this. |
Homer, this is all your fault. If you hadn't plugged in your dancing Santa, none of this would have happened. | Wrong answer. |
Mom, Dad, someone stole my Malibu Stacy collection! | Marge, doesn't Lisa have a human face? |
Oh, forget it. They couldn't catch a cold with a... a, a cold-catching thing. | See, when you don't use Milhouse, it's hard. I love this kid. |
Dad, that's Bart. | Exactly. |
Dad, that's Bart. | Look at him over there, eating that apple. What's he planning? What?! |
Maybe we should look for clues. | You're right. What's this? |
Maybe we should look for clues. | A cap! |
Maybe we should look for clues. | From "The Woolly Bully." |
Yeah. | To people? |
Maybe. | People with heads? |
Dude... I need a new cap. | Did you steal dolls from my daughter? |
I think they demean women. | Well think again. Son, you're going to juvie. |
But I just got out of juvie. | Good, 'cause I need directions. |
Well, you'll be happy to know Malibu Stacey's fine. I really appreciate what you did, Dad. | Aw... |
You said you'd do something, and you followed through on it. | Hey, you know, stopping criminals is fun. And I felt like a big man pushing that kid around. |
Oh, that's it. | Cheese! |
Homer, you are so brave. If anyone deserves to take a penny, it is you. | Oh, well... Heh, heh. Hm... oh, I'll... no.... |
If you like protecting people, you could make that your job. You know, start a security company. | Finally, a way to combine my love of helping people with my love of hurting people. |
Well, who would my partner be? | How 'bout Lenny? |
No way! | You'll do as I say or I'll have your badges. Once I make and give you your badges. |
Well, nice work, Inspector Find-It. Did you catch the thief? | Who said it was a he? |
Well, I sure didn't. | Who said you did? |
Okely-dokely. | You're pushing your luck, pal. |
A monster! | Is this you? If it is, don't dial nine one one. Simply dial six three six five five five three four seven two. |
Help me, SpringShield! | Have no fear, SpringShield's present! |
Friend? | The only friend you need is SpringShield. |
That commercial is very effective. | You know, the old lady's apartment was actually Lenny's. We just used a different duvet cover. |
Hey officer Homer, how'd you get so big and strong? | Green vegetables and homework. |
Homie, to honor Springfield's newest hero, I made you your favorite dinner. All three courses are dessert. | Even dessert? |
You can let me go, but I'll just keep exposing myself at the mall. | What a character. |
Dad, make him stop! | Well, according to this, he's tellin' the truth. |
Hurry up, boys. We gotta get these "toy poodles" to the pet shop. | All right, Fat Tony. Your little game is over. |
Radar Love. | If that thug thinks he can run me out of town... oh man, I love this song. |
Radar Love. | I'VE BEEN DRIVING ALL NIGHT, HAND'S WET ON THE WHEEL... THERE'S A VOICE IN MY HEAD THAT DRIVES MY HEEL... IT'S MY BABY CALLIN' ON THE TELEPHONE... I GOT SOME PIZZA AND I'M BRINGIN' IT HOME... |
Int. church - continuous) | You all know me. I've kept the streets safe for you and your children. I've tricked or treated at many of your houses. Last year I was Jar Jar Binks. Now, who will stand and fight with me? |
I'm with you, Homer. | Shut up, Flanders. Anyone else? What about you, Dr. Hibbert? |
Sorry Homer. I'm a coward now, like all recovering alcoholics. | After everything I did you're going to abandon me? |
Homie, please. Why don't you just leave town? | What, and let them come after you and the kids? |
We could come with you. | In one car? With no air conditioning? And the little poop machine going every twenty minutes? |
You are listing my broken dreams. | I don't get it. I finally did a job where I wasn't lazy, stupid, or corrupt -- and now I'm gonna get killed for it. |
Any last words, Simpson? | Yeah, you can kill me, but someone'll take my place. And if you kill him, someone'll take his place. And that's pretty much the end of it. The town'll be yours. |
Oh Homie, I'm so glad you're alive! | Yeah, but this town doesn't deserve me. I'm giving this badge to the next guy I see. |
Well then, who shot all the gangsters? | I must have a guardian angel -- with a rifle. |
Hm. Time to check in on our little sweetie pie. | Aw, she's taking a nap. |
Yeah, probably dreaming about the time she shot Mr. Burns. | She's just like Clark Kent. When there's lots of excitement, she's nowhere to be found. Nighty-night, sweetie. |
My favorite is number three! | Oh, I'd love to, but someone made me too many pancakes and now I have to sleep them off. |
Those were for the church breakfast. | Were they now? |
Get your hammocks! | The hammock man! I'm glad he's a little early today. |
The price is ten dollars, but I MUST warn you, this is no ordinary hammock. Its webbing is a mesh of comfort... and evil. | You had me at comfort. |
Beer... for me? | No, you've got chores to do. |
Chores? Me need clone. | Clone?! That's ridiculous. Where am I supposed to find a... wait a minute. |
Chores? Me need clone. | Wow, four of me. I think this could be a magic hammock. And it just might be the answer to my problems. |
Nuh-uh. | Uh-huh! |
Why you little... | Man, are we evenly matched. |
Yay! | Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! |
Say Homer, I was, uh, I was wondering if I could borrow that chainsaw you, uh, stole from me. | Yeah, but you'll have to leave a credit card. |
No problem! Discover okay? | Ned... |
Homie, I must say you have the energy of twenty men lately. | Twenty-three. Now, today I'm gonna mow the lawn, do my taxes, shoot hoops with Bart and girl it up with Lisa. |
I do! | Anybody else? |
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