instruction stringlengths 1 496 | response stringlengths 1 472 |
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I do! | Anybody else? Come on... |
I do! | Okay, everyone out! |
Dad, is there something you'd like to tell us about this horde? | You'd think so, but no. |
They look like you, they were rude to Patty and Selma, and the horde has been described as "very gassy." | Yeah, it's a good group. |
Good God, we're doomed! | Noooo! |
Good God, we're doomed! | We're out of donuts! |
The horde is almost dead! There's still some writhing and twitching, but that should stop by morning. | Good news. |
...Twenty eight, twenty nine... There's one missing. | Not Mr. Blasty? |
...Twenty eight, twenty nine... There's one missing. | It's okay, boy. You'll be shooting angels in heaven. |
PLEASE DON'T HURT OUR FAMILY. | Marge, let me do a solo. This could be my big break. |
I very much doubt that, Homer. These are horrible ghouls from the past. | Hey, so are the Grammy judges. -- |
Pardon the grabbing, but I've perfected a device that could save us all... a time machine. We can go back to the past and save our guns. | Gimme! |
...poor William Bonney might have become a doctor, or a Senator... | Hear me, people of the past! |
Hey everyone, that's us! | I come to deliver a terrifying message of hope. Grab your guns and follow me! |
Dad, what are you doing? | Oh, how to explain this to a child... Hm... Future Daddy needs to double-kill these corpses so they won't come back as zombies, and-- Get 'im! |
Tell me again why we're spending our vacation on "The Island of Lost Souls"? | Hey, what could be more fun than an island shaped like a big smiley face? |
Now he may try to slobber on your crotch. | Hey, I've been around Scotsmen. |
Homer, someone's in trouble! | Hey, I'm on vacation. |
Homie, something very creepy is going on here. | You mean, they're gonna try to sell us time shares? |
I think I'm going to do a little sleuthing. | Bring back some ice. |
Hey, Homer! | Flanders?! A perfect vacation ruined. |
Hate to be a needy Neddy, but, uh, could you do me a favor...? | Uh, I really don't wanna do that, Ned. |
Oh, c'mon Homer. All I'm asking is for you to yank my teats and harvest my milk. | Fine. |
Oooh, that's nice. You're actually quite gentle when you want to be. | You know, you're not helping. |
Shhh. Hey. | What's that? |
Oooh, a toenail! | I can't believe it. Hibbert's turned you all into human guinea pigs! |
Hey Dad, check it out! | Eat... my... shorts?! Why you little... |
Hey Dad, check it out! | Maggie! |
Hey Dad, check it out! | Lisa! |
We were just playing. | What game? |
"Let's eat Maggie." | Manimals, invertebroads! You must fight back against the one who did this to you! |
Wait a minute. I'm at work. Ya gotta pay for it. | What the-- Where's my money? |
Sorry, Homer. | So you're just gonna let me walk out of here sober. |
I'm afraid so. | And you can live with that. |
Yuh-huh. | Fine. There are plenty of other ways for me to alter my consciousness. |
Are you gonna buy those toads or just lick 'em? | Lick 'em. Go away. |
Thanks for the donation, Mr. Simpson. Do you feel okay? | Jewish? Oh, no, I'm not Jewish. |
Yeah, I guess I got caught up in all the glitz and glamour. | Well, Moe... |
Homer, I'm so sorry. Have a free beer. | Oh. |
Homer, I'm so sorry. Have a free beer. | Ah, I don't care about the color of your skin, Lenny. You're my friend! |
Homer, can you say the alphabet backwards? | Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you, ya... |
Hey, I'm worried. | I've had just about enough of you. |
Ah, rats. | I'm outta here... |
Get his keys! | Hey, you want my keys? |
Get his keys! | Get 'em now, jerks. |
Get his keys! | So long, jerks. |
Get his keys! | Running after the car, huh? Let's see if you can follow this. |
Where to, Pal? | Moe's Tavern. |
Homie, it's five p.m. We're having dinner. | What? Wait a... That can't be right! Wait, was last night the night we set the clocks ahead eight hours? |
No, it was the night you got loaded at Moe's and the car had to be towed home. | If I was that drunk, I would remember it. |
It's true. I couldn't even wake you up for work this morning. I had to tell Mr. Burns you had violent diarrhea. | Couldn't you come up with a less embarrassing lie? |
Do you remember how you got home last night, Dad? | Of course. It was, uh... some kind of a... light rail. |
There's no light rail in Springfield. | Oh, won't anyone pretend to believe me? |
I will, Dad. | And that's why you're my favorite. |
I will, Dad. | All right, time for my favorite show. |
Another proud moment for the Simpsons. | I don't remember anybody telling me I was gonna be on TV. |
Oh, you big fooler. Pretending not to remember so you could surprise us. | Yeah, I'm pretty great... |
I had no idea, Dad. I just assumed with all the stranglings, you know... | That my family isn't the center of my universe? Are you nuts? |
So whammo, you get stuck in some boring job where they don't let you play guitar or take pictures of naked women, and all you can do is watch yourself get bald and fat, and kiss your dreams good-bye... | Oh, I can't believe they took "Monkey Trauma Center" off for this. |
So whammo, you get stuck in some boring job where they don't let you play guitar or take pictures of naked women, and all you can do is watch yourself get bald and fat, and kiss your dreams good-bye... | Lousy family... |
So I'm just some babe who sank her claws into you?! | A hot babe... |
Have you always resented us, Dad? | Oh, I don't resent you, sweetheart. What I was trying to say, and maybe I didn't use the right words, was that marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail, but as coffins go... |
Sorry we ruined your life, Homer. | Oh, what have I done? |
Get in. | Hey, what's this suitcase for? Are we going on a trip? |
Get out of the car, Homer. | You can't just leave me out here! There's not another woman for miles! |
Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp! | "The Rolling Stones Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp!!" But I thought you guys were mad at me. For once in my life, I'm confused. |
We had a family meeting and decided that even though what you said about us was incredibly thoughtless and hurtful, you had a point. | Damn straight. |
And even though you knew I ratted you out to the IRS, you never busted me on it. | You what? |
So to say thank you for all your sacrifices, we spent our family vacation fund on something that's just for you. Do you like it? | You guys are the best. I love you, I love you, I love you... |
So to say thank you for all your sacrifices, we spent our family vacation fund on something that's just for you. Do you like it? | I'm okay. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you... |
I don't know, but it's starting to get dark. | What was that? |
How ya doin'? | Omigod! Omigod! Omigod! It's Mick Jagger and Keith Richards... |
Welcome to Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp, where you'll experience the complete rock 'n' roll lifestyle, without the lawsuits and STD's. | Woo! STD's! |
Now you're all here for one reason... | To rock! |
Have you been awake all night? | I am so excited I couldn't fall asleep! I even took some pills I found on the floor and still nothing! |
You took pills you found on the floor? | Uh-huh. Now I'm afraid that if I stop talking, I'll die. Isn't Mick cool? I thought he'd be all like, "I'm a rock star. Aren't I great?" But he's just like you or me or Jesus over there. |
Come on, who'd like to be a bass player? | Out of my way, Nerdlinger. |
My image! | Here you go. |
I'm telling Mr. Jagger. | Ooh, I'm telling Mr. Jagger. |
The clothes you wear on stage should be a defiant statement of individuality. | Like this, Mr. Kravitz? |
Fire! / Yes! / All right! Fire! / Hey! | Mr. Seltzer? |
Setzer. | No, I think it's Seltzer. |
What is it, Homer? | I came up with a stage move I feel is very cool. |
What is it, Homer? | Baby, baby, baby, baby! |
We've gotta start using a cheaper oatmeal. | Sorry Mick! |
Look everyone, Homer's got it. | I'M SO HOT FOR ME, I'M SO HOT FOR ME / I'M SO COLD... |
Lyrics are the hardest part of songwriting. But when you come up with something meaningful and heartfelt... | Bor-ing. |
Will you stop saying that? | But rock stars are supposed to be about drinking and getting drunk and boozing it up. |
You just want mindless generic rock? | Precisely. |
Paparazzi to the left! | I got 'em! |
Paparazzi to the left! | I'm entitled to a private life! I'm not a role model! And so forth. |
They're bloody cardboard! | We know! |
Uh, you rock, Homer. | Really? You really think I'm better than you? |
That was great, Homie. | What the hell are you doing here? |
Camp is over, Homer. | It's been a week already? |
Come... on... Dad... | No! No, I won't go! You can't make me! |
Dad, you knew this day was coming. | I knew nothing! |
Stop kicking me, Dad! | Never! |
Stop kicking me, Dad! | My dream has been shattered into shards of a broken dream. I was so close to being a rock star, but now there's a chance it might not happen. I'll just have to settle for being a fat, bald, fat nothing. |
No, I'm fine. | I'm so despondent. |
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