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Okay, okay. Here's all the money I've got. | I'm hangin' this over the mantel. |
Thanks, Dad. | Well, I'm just glad we're back to me being the father and you being the son. |
Are you sure that thing could really explode? | Oh, I doubt it. But we'll let the seagulls at the dump figure it out. |
On the plus side, this rope is mighty soft. Hm, touch it, kids. | Par-ty! Par-ty! Par-ty! |
Homer, these are people you work with. Show some restraint. | Re-straint! Re-straint! Re-straint! |
Homer, these are people you work with. Show some restraint. | Lighten up, Marge. This is my chance to relax with people from work I never get to see. Like this guy. |
I'm your supervisor! | Really? How'm I doin'? |
Aviation museum audio-visual materials have taken patrons and docents alike on a rocket ride to comprehension. This is the story of those materials. | Hey, it's a guy in a goofy Burns head! |
Aviation museum audio-visual materials have taken patrons and docents alike on a rocket ride to comprehension. This is the story of those materials. | Act like Burns! |
Aviation museum audio-visual materials have taken patrons and docents alike on a rocket ride to comprehension. This is the story of those materials. | That's him to a T! |
Here we have a vintage film of the original Springfield Wing Walkers, including our own Agnes Skinner. | Wow, a wooden plane. It's about time trees were good for something, instead of just standing there like jerks. |
I flew it at an altitude of six feet for a distance of four-and-a-half feet. Then we discovered rain makes it catch fire. Then the Führer fired me. | What a magical party this has been. Mr. Burns is a great man. |
I've got a bad feeling about all of this. | C'mon, Marge. This place is great. Free admission, great grub and we got to use the bathroom of the future. |
Is your sense of outrage dulled? | Spill it, Super-boss! |
Now that Mr. Burns has eliminated the drug plan, we're gonna have to cut back on our diseases. | I'll get a second job. One that pays well. You think those guys on "Friends" need another friend? |
That show's gone off the air. | Dammit! I would've been perfect as Rachel's Irish cousin. So you're all doing each other, are ya? Well, who's going to put out for old Seamus? |
Uh-huh. | -- as long as I only work five hours a day, no heavy lifting, no light clerical, none of that secret Santa crap, tasteful nudity... |
You have defeated the doom-bot and sealed the portal. Phobos is safe. | Phobos? That's a good job for me. |
Mine flew away. | I declare that you have the most beautiful brown eyes. |
I've got the answer! | Dad? |
Now listen. All the drugs we want are right across the border. I have a friend who'll help us. | The border, eh? Then I'd better sand off my fingerprints. |
Now listen. All the drugs we want are right across the border. I have a friend who'll help us. | I could just wear gloves. Nah, they're upstairs. |
A-lo-ha! | Wow, this is just like Hawaii, but you don't get beaten up if you leave the hotel. What gives? |
My Dad, the drug mule. | Oh man, I need something to settle my stomach. |
My Dad, the drug mule. | Oh wait. I was supposed to take these with food. |
Oh look, it is Mr. Homer, my favorite customer! Please feel free to paw through my Playdudes and tell me to go back to some country I am not actually from. | Why the sweet talk, Apu? Are you after some cheap drugs? |
Help me out, Homer. My little Roddy needs his insulin. Breaks my heart to watch him jones-diddly-ownsing. | Flanders? I don't know... I mean, you haven't done anything for me since you lent me that five thousand bucks yesterday. |
I don't claim to be the perfect neighbor... | Hold on. We're just innocent tourists. |
If you let us come, I will give you ten minutes alone with my Squishee machine, do what you will. | No cameras? |
Well where's your super-team now? | Listen you two, I'll tell you who the true God is if you're both quiet the rest of the trip! |
But the infinite beauty-- / But the Bible says-- | All right, I'm comin' back there. |
Today Mounties busted a major American drug smuggling ring. Former U.S. astronaut Homer Simpson was taken into custody. | My butt looks so huge during perp walks. |
Thank God we did not stitch your name over the breast. | Dad, you tried your best. For the first time in my life I can say, without being drunk, that I truly admire you. |
I just wish we could make one last big score. But we could never drive past the border patrol. | There are other ways to get into Canada... |
I just wish we could make one last big score. But we could never drive past the border patrol. | That's it, a plane! |
Smuggle drugs in a plane? That'll never work! | Sure it will. All we need is a pilot! |
I've got everything you need. | Katharine Hepburn?! |
Typical Canadian wimpiness. That's why you have snowballs and we have the H bomb. | We really appreciate your help, Johnny. Is there any way we can repay ya? |
Well, I've always wanted to see a man with the I.Q. of a child executed by the state. We don't get that up here. | Really? In America we do it four times a week. You come on down and I'll get us front row seats. |
We're losing altitude. Time to dump all unnecessary weight. | Don't dump me out! I can lose weight! Just give me a chance. |
We're losing altitude. Time to dump all unnecessary weight. | One... two... Eh, I'd rather die. |
It's no use. We've got to make an emergency landing. | Well, at least we're all in this together. |
Now, before we eat, let's remember what we're celebrating today -- after many years of hard work, your father finally paid off the mortgage. | See you in Hell, document! |
Way to build equity! | Now remember to eat smart, people. Go for the fancy foods -- don't let 'em fill you up with THAT cheap stuff. |
A roll, sir? | Screw you. |
Oatmeal? | Smoked salmon... Shrimp... Crab legs! |
Oatmeal? | I win... |
How rude! What do I have to do to enjoy a Sunday brunch with my secret other family? | I've never been so embarrassed. And the worst part is, this is brunch so you've ruined two meals! I'll see you all at lupper! |
I wouldn't drink that. From the looks of this place, it might kill you. | Oh, who are you, the health inspector? |
O DANNY BOY, THE PIPES THE PIPES ARE CALLING / FROM GLEN TO GLEN AND DOWN THE MOUNTAIN SIDE / THE SUMMER'S GONE AND ALL THE ROSES FALLING / 'TIS YOU, 'TIS YOU MUST GO, AND I MUST BIDE. | Moe's, a tribute. "M" is for Moe, the owner of Moe's. "O" is for the "O" in the middle of Moe's. "E" is for acceptance. The feeling I always got here at Moe's. Oh Moe, don't let 'em close you down! |
Hey, a beer's a beer. | I can't go to a gay bar, I'm too fat! Moe, I'm gonna help you reopen your bar no matter what it takes. |
Mr. Simpson, for a loan this big, you'll have to put up your house as collateral. | ... Marge? |
Mr. Simpson, for a loan this big, you'll have to put up your house as collateral. | Put up my house? But I just paid it off... what would Marge say? |
Do whatever you have to do to save Moe's. I love my Homie. | Okay honey, I'll do it. |
Thanks, Homer. No one's ever trusted me before -- except for that one guy who shouldn't have. | That was me. |
Homer, those kookoo-birds at the bank goofed up and sent us a mortgage statement. | Marge! How dare you open a letter addressed to both of us? |
M631700000642J?! This is a new loan tracking number -- you got a new mortgage? | I had to! Or Moe's would stay closed forever! |
You gave the money to Moe? How's he gonna pay us back? | Look, look. I can see you're upset. If you need me, I'll be at Moe's. |
Well, maybe I'll go to Moe's too, seeing as I'm now part owner. | Marge, you can't go with me to Moe's. I mean, how would you like it if I came with you to your mother's? |
I would like it. You never come to my mother's. | That's because I hate her. |
Int. nuclear plant - another area - day) | Just made it! |
I'm here protecting our investment. I'd like you to go home and make dinner for the kids. | But I don't wanna take care of the kids... Um... how many cigars are they allowed to have? Bart sleeps in the microwave, right? |
Quit playing dumb. | How many magic beans should I sell the baby for? Three? Duh, der, duh. That's me, jerk-ass Homer. Duh, der, doy. |
And they seem awfully chummy. | Just what are you inferring? |
I'm not inferring anything. You infer. I imply. | Whew, that's a relief! |
Get lost, rummy! | Ah yes, Detroit-style. Very nice. So, you've been at Moe's every night this week. |
I know, I used to think of Moe as a scabby, dead-eyed hunchback. But now that I've gotten to know him, we kind of bonded. | Bonded?! How many times? |
Homer, Moe and I are just work friends. You and I are... marriage friends. | Thanks, honey. My mind is completely at ease. |
Hey, also, I wanna.... | Well, I might as well use this pucker for something. |
Howdy, partner! Why don't you sit next to us? | Hey Moe... haven't seen you in a while. |
Uh yeah, how ya doin' there, Homer? Did you ever pass that G.I. Joe you swallowed? | How do you know about that? |
Oh, Marge told me. We share everything. | You do? |
Somethin' wrong, Homer? | Well... I'm worried about Marge and Moe. They've developed an intimate bond of thoughts and feelings completely separate from me. But it's not physical. So everything's great, right? |
Homer, it's time you learned the sad truth. | Can I learn it at a happy place? |
Although there's no physical intimacy, there's a deep spiritual connection that threatens to destroy your marriage. | What do I do? |
Engage her feelings, become her friend... ooh, get her a Life Magazine from the week she was born. I'll always treasure mine. | You're absolutely right! Stop this ride! |
Oh, I'm too tired to talk. | Well, I can go all night, baby. I could listen to you two, maybe three, times. |
Homie, I'm tired. I have to get up early to catch my flight. | Catch your flight? |
Cuckold! Cuckold! Cuckold! | What's a cuckold? |
Where's Mom going with Uncle Moe? | He's only your emotional uncle! I'm your real uncle! |
Well, if Hollywood movies have taught us anything, it's that troubled relationships can be completely patched up by a mad dash to the airport. | I'm off! |
Simpson, you were going a hundred in a twenty-five zone. And you're not gonna flirt your way outta this one. | But I have to get to the airport to save my marriage! |
Just say you love me, Marge. Love me like I love you. Please? | Marge! |
Homer! How'd you get in here? | Toilet hole. |
Homer! How'd you get in here? | You leave my wife alone! |
You don't deserve her! You know nothin' about Marge -- what's her favorite food? | Uh... ice? |
He's right. | Oh, it's true. I don't know Marge at all. I'll just go home now. |
Shut it! Shut it! | Moe, you've won. I'll see you at baggage claim. |
Homie... | Marge, I just wanna say: if you ever feel like cheating on Moe, here's my card. |
Homer, I made a vow on our wedding day, to stay by you -- for better or worse. And besides... I love you. You're my Homie-womie-romie-domie... | And you're my Margie-wargie-bargie-fargie-gargie-margie-targie-glargie. |
LOVE LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER | THINK OF ME BABE WHENEVER / SOME SWEET TALKING GUY IN A THONG / HANDS YOU A BONG / DON'T TAKE... |
LOVE LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER | YOU BETTER BE STRONG |
YOU'D BETTER STOP | 'CAUSE I WANT A SANDWICH |
I SAID STOP | OR MAYBE A MANWICH... |
I used to love Springfield Park, but it's gotten so run down. | Oh, the prid is gone. |
Step right up, and bid on items donated by local businesses! | Oh, I've only got a hundred dollars. I'd better bid shrewdly. |
First up is this video camera. | One hundred dollars! |
Sold! | Dammit! I never win anything! Ooh, here's something I'm good at. |
Fat wad! I love it! | Easy... gentle... |
Basta, basta! Take-a my picture with the internet marmaluke-a! | The internet wasn't created for mockery. It was supposed to help researchers at different universities share data sets. It was! |
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