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Now, Simpsons! Run for it! | Quick! Into the river! Hippos hate water. |
The left! Go to the left! | It's working! |
The left! Go to the left! | Leeches! |
Wonder where this river goes. | I've got a map! |
Wonder where this river goes. | Monkey. Now, according to Animal Crackers, there's no river here. |
Oh, no! We're headed for Victoria Falls! | Here's why they shouldn't get anything. One... |
Oh, no! It's eating us! | Not a chance. |
Wow, Dad. How did you do that? | It's a flower. |
Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? | I told you, yes. Now Bart, go to the top of that hill and see if you can spot our hotel. |
Mount Kilimanjaro? | Go. |
Hey, maybe it'll lead us to bananas. | Or... more mouthwatering monkeys. |
Hey, maybe it'll lead us to bananas. | Overtime for bag boys? Ridiculous! |
Thank you. See, Jojo, she likes it. | So, I notice your home smells of feces. |
Yes. | And not just monkey feces either. |
Every day I get up at five-thirty, watch the chimps, eat a quick lunch of roots and water, then more chimp-watching. After dark I come home and think about chimps until it's time for bed. | You must be the most boring woman on earth. |
Possibly, but... | I mean I knew scientists wasted their lives, but geez. |
Absolutely not! Will you help me defend the refuge? | Anything for these noble animals. |
Absolutely not! Will you help me defend the refuge? | So like us... |
She's one of the ten richest chimp researchers in the world. | Look at me, I'm a scientist! |
Buzz off. | Hey, look! Our tour guide got a new job. |
Hm, quite a promotion. | I was wondering what became of him. |
/ Oh, he got overthrown! | Now he's just a stinking flight attendant! Hey, where's my pillow? |
Breakfast! | Breakfast! |
Breakfast! | Aww... Cereal? You know I like my breakfast fried or chicken-fried! |
I'll get us out of this. Say Dad, want to go see my project for the school science fair? | No, Lisa, but I sure don't want to eat this crappy breakfast. |
Meet Linguo, the grammar robot. I built him all by myself. If you misuse language, he'll correct you. | Well, let's put him to the test. Me love beer. |
"I love beer." | Aw, he loves beer. |
"I love beer." | Here, little fella. |
This is why I can't have nice things. | Ooo, can I have a brownie? |
They're for after dinner. | Ooo, can I have dinner? |
You can't have a brownie. Period. | Homer wants a brownie! I'm gonna get one! |
No! | Comin' in from the left. |
Stop it! | Or is it the right? |
Homer! | Look out for the reach-around! |
Homer! | He shoots, he sco-- My thumb! |
Homer! | Oh God oh God oh God! |
I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! | Sorry doesn't put thumbs on the hand, Marge! |
Calm down! If we hurry, they can reattach your thumb. | Reattach a thumb? This isn't "Gattaca." |
Where did it go? | Okay boy, drop the thumb... |
Where did it go? | Nobody's gonna tackle you. |
Where did it go? | Come back with my thumb! |
123 Fake Street. Got it. | Come on! Come on, boy! Oh, please give it back. You want people food? I can get you people food. |
123 Fake Street. Got it. | I have nothing he wants. |
What the diddly-yo?! | Give me back my thumb! |
What the diddly-yo?! | Gaa! |
We've gotta get to the hospital, Homer! | Okay, if the doctor asks why you cut it off, you caught me in bed with four beautiful women. |
Homer, help! | Marge, over here. |
I'm sorry, Homer. Your H.M.O. doesn't cover this type of injury. | But I have finger insurance! |
Well, I could cut off the other thumb for a sense of symmetry. | Symmetry, eh? |
No problem. Just stick the ol' eye-gouger in the pickle brine. That'll keep your thumb fresh and delicious. | Thanks, Moe. |
Hey, ah, hey, ain't you gonna have a beer? | Well, I really shouldn't, what with my massive blood loss and all... Although I do like the occasional beer... |
Int. Moe's bar - a short while later) | Did you ever see that "Blue Man Group?" Total rip-off of the Smurfs. And the Smurfs? They suck. |
Inflammable means flammable? What a country! | Can you drive me to Shelbyville Hospital? |
Hey, somebody done stoleded my wheels. | Thanks a lot. Now I gotta walk to Shelbyville. |
I'll get us out of this. Say Dad, want to go see my project for the school science fair? | No, Lisa, but I sure don't want to eat this crappy breakfast. |
Dad, no! | I'm sorry. I thought he was a party robot, like in that play I wrote. |
Oh. | Quick, Moe! Marge cut off my thumb. |
Not right now. Your father's in there and -- | Did you ever see that "Blue Man Group?" |
Hey, somebody done stoleded my wheels. | Thanks a lot. Now I gotta walk to Shelbyville. |
It's all right, boys. | Oh, thank goodness everyone's okay! |
Exactly. | One Tower of Babel, and build it to Heaven. |
Exactly. | To Heaven! |
Exactly. | Christ be with you. |
No, I'm not! | Leave Ned alone. |
Thank you, Homer. | He can't admit he likes her till he's sure she likes him back. And there's only one way to find out. |
Thank you, Homer. | Does -- Rachel -- like -- Ned? |
It says I have cooties. | Flanders has cooties, Flanders has cooties. |
That was great. I can't believe she found a rhyme for Hezekiah. | Hey, she's coming this way! |
That's great. Maybe we could have coffee sometime. | Ohh, she wants to have coffee sometime. |
I can hear her, Homer. | He can hear you, Rachel. |
Okay, well maybe another time. You know, I better go check into my hotel. | Hotel? Why don't you just stay at Ned's place? |
Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not over Maude at all. | Yeah, maybe it was too soon. |
Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not over Maude at all. | Well, aren't you gonna invite me in? |
Always do. | Say bye, Mr. Flanders. |
Poor Ned. He can't look anywhere without being reminded of Maude. | Yeah, a lifetime of memories. |
Homer, don't you have any respect? | Sure, of course I do, but life goes on, ashes to ashes, turn, turn, turn, long live rock, and so forth. |
Wow, three pairs of shoes. Someone had a fetish. | Man, this is taking forever. I know how to speed things up. |
Kinda. | Now for the awkward part. We gotta talk about money. |
You said we were doing this out of friendship. | What? That doesn't sound like me. |
Maude's old sketch book. She was quite the little artist, you know. | Ahh... Is that a fact? And you think you know someone. |
Maude designed a Christian amusement park. Oh, it must have been her final dream. | Hey, how 'bout that? |
Ah, Gipetto's workshop will make a great stable for the nativity scene. | You're doing that the sucker way. Try a little vitamin G. |
Are you nuts? | Relax. It's a "controlled burn"... Uh-oh. |
Darn teenagers with their beer bottles. | Uh, yeah, teenagers. |
Well, it's been a tad harder than I thought, but I'm not complaining 'cause I work for a sweet, sweet, boss. You're our foreman, Maude. | She's still bossing you around from beyond the grave? Can they do that? |
Ohhh, I'm not very good at begging people for stuff. | I am. I'd be glad to spearhead the entire begging initiative. |
Well thanks, Homer. | No problem. I'll need a sack and something sharp. |
You can have these, ah, fireworks I confiscated. Some Chinese people claimed they were celebrating New Year's in February. | Oh yeah, those guys and their crazy scams. |
This sawdust will soak up the puke from the rooller-cooster. It's Willie's special blend. | Do I detect a hint of cinnamon? |
Oh, Maude, I turned your dream of a Christian amusement park into a bemusement park. | Don't say that, Ned! |
Homer, no! I can't exploit a divine manifestation. | Oh, why not? Everybody's doin' it. |
Oh, there's no explaining God's will, Roddy. That's like explaining how an airplane flies. | Stupid grill! |
Oh, there's no explaining God's will, Roddy. That's like explaining how an airplane flies. | Why won't you light? The gas is on full blast! |
You better stick your head in and see what's going on. | Good idea. |
I've gotta close Praiseland down. Someone could get hurt. | Could get hurt. Could. There's a chance they won't. |
I've gotta close Praiseland down. Someone could get hurt. | Ned, Praiseland has touched an entire town with its inspiring message and toxic super-freakouts. Look at those smiling faces. |
I've gotta close Praiseland down. Someone could get hurt. | Rich laughing with poor... |
I've gotta close Praiseland down. Someone could get hurt. | Bullies breaking bread with nerds... |
I've gotta close Praiseland down. Someone could get hurt. | Orphans lighting candles over a leaking gas line... Lighting candles! |
May the Lord have mercy on your gas sniffin', orphan beatin', soul. | Christ be with you. |
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