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Dad, you were nuts. | You know me. Occasionally, I'll be quirky. "I'll be quirky..." Albuquerque! I'll be right back! |
He's right, folks. The only story here is the rich, smooth taste of Duff. | Yes, that is an important story. But so is this! |
Well, Homie, I believe you're telling the truth about the Isotopes. | I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or about to lie, or just finished lying. But not when I'm telling the truth. |
There's all kinds of ways to get the public on your side. Bob Dylan wrote songs. Cesar Chavez staged hunger strikes. | That's it! I'll go on a hunger strike. |
Oh, Homie, you couldn't keep up a hunger strike. You eat while you brush your teeth. You're eating a huge sausage right now. | So? I can stop. And I will stop. I'm on a hunger strike, starting right... now! |
You're really not gonna eat anything? | My hunger strike will not end until Duff admits they're moving the team. Bart, my chains. |
You're really not gonna eat anything? | Now it begins. |
Dad, I'm so proud of you. If you need some inspiration, here's a book of Mike Farrell's core beliefs. | Man, he really hates Wayne Rogers. |
Goodbye, Homie. Here's Dr. Hibbert's number if you feel weak. | Don't worry. Duff's not gonna let me waste away to nothing. |
Stop calling me that. | Hey kid and man! |
Stop calling me that. | Don't support a team run by liars! |
Liars? | They're secretly planning to move to Albuquerque. |
Yeah! | Why you little... |
Oh, Seymour! | Nice try, God. |
Oh, Seymour! | But Homer Simpson doesn't give in to temptation that easily... Hey! |
Oh, Seymour! | Stop that! |
Yeah, but his weary shuffling makes my heart smile. | I'm soooo hungry. |
Yeah, duck man! Over here! | Do they have to chew so loud? |
The spirit of Cesar Chavez. | Why do you look like Cesar Romero? |
Because you don't know what Cesar Chavez looks like. | Why are you here? |
To tell you not to give up. | But I wanna! |
Okay, Skinny, on your feet. | What's happening? Did I crush your corporation? |
Well, Homer. Your hunger strike lasted twelve amazing days. | Me so hungee. |
Of course you are, Hungry Hungry Homer. So why not break your fast with our brand new Isotope Dog Supreme? | So hard to resist. Mesquite-grilled onions... jalapeño relish... Wait a minute, those are Southwestern ingredients! |
Now, now, now, now see here, people... Let's not be too hasty. | Tell the truth! C'mon, everybody! |
Get him out of here. | Don't listen to him, Duffman. For once in your life, stand up for the little guy! |
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! | The truth never tasted so good! |
That ad campaign may have crossed a line. | What can you do? Sex sells. |
Homer, you're still here? You should've left for work an hour ago! | They said if I come in late again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance. |
Yep. It's great to have some time just to ourselves, huh? | You read my mind. Sooo... |
Yep. It's great to have some time just to ourselves, huh? | This coffee's good, huh? |
Yeah. The uh... the milk really takes the edge off. | You know, I think our marriage is... |
I got it! | I got it! |
No, I got it! | No, I do! |
Your baby is dead. | Okay, now. Put... |
"Springfield Baby-Proofing"? | You...you really scared us. |
Goo goo. Me wike to expwore. | That's a pretty big caboose for a baby. |
Similac Baby Formula. | Noooo! |
Similac Baby Formula. | This is such an eye-opener. I always pictured the kids dying in the living room. |
Okay, with the window bars, toilet latches, dingo alarm, and grapefruit-squirt shield, your total cost would be... Wow, I'm rich! | Three dollars? That doesn't seem so bad. |
Here's your estimate. | Mm hm. Hmmmm. |
Here's your estimate. | We don't need your high-priced safety junk! |
Here's your estimate. | Thank you. |
She's not afraid of bunnies. | She will be. |
No, no, no. Oh, Homie! | Now do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes. |
I'm the one who told you that. | Yeah, but this is me talking. Look, I already encased the telephone in concrete. |
How are you supposed to dial? | Reach into these holes. I use a carrot. |
Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous? | Baby could order poison. |
I'm a horrible mother. | Of course you are. Marge, I've finally discovered the reason God made me: to protect his tiniest, most breakable creatures. And I've got to share that gift with the world. |
I'm a horrible mother. | Get her outta here. |
Oh, thank you. No more Shiva-related pokings. | Yeah, you know down the line, you might want to switch to a nice round Buddha. |
But we are Hindu. | So am I, but I don't get all huffy about it. |
Booo! | Canceled. |
The safe-baby craze. It's sweeping Springfield, thanks to one crusading parent. | That's me! Safety dance! |
The safe-baby craze. It's sweeping Springfield, thanks to one crusading parent. | "YOU CAN DANCE / YOU CAN DANCE / EVERYBODY LOOK AT YOUR PANTS." |
The dream is over. Shut her down, boys. | Dear God, what have I done? |
I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork, and four-eyes. I call it "Poindextrose". | Woo hoo! Simpsons rule! Sorry. |
Oh, honey, we're so proud of you. | So all her bullying was just to get some attention. |
No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said? | Just to get some attention. |
Someone's gonna sleep well tonight. | Pound that nerd. |
Candy Class. | Well, okay, but get five bags in case we eat four on the way home. |
My teacher said I need cupcakes. Cupcakes to learn. | In the cart. |
I'm out of wine. | Cart. |
We need these because we have... to... | My doctor says, and my garage mechanic agrees, that... |
In the cart. | Woo hoo! |
In the cart. | Y'know, I always felt sorry for Marge, having to do the shopping, but this is kind of fun. |
Sir, please. I've already bagged it by color, and in order of each item's discovery by man. | The customer's always right. That's what everybody likes about us. Now mush! |
Hey, hey, watch what you're doin' there, sack monkey. You're bruisin' my DuraLog. | Hurry up. I can't stand here jabbing you all day. |
Please. Ow. Stop. Bag boys have feelings, too, you know. | No you don't... |
Excuse me? Is there a problem here? | No, I can handle it. I'll get you, squealer. |
Strike! Strike! Strike! | Oh, the bag boys are on strike! I'm shaking. |
Mr. Simpson, please. Will you go home? | If I can have this rubber stick. |
Hey, the dog smells something! | Good boy. Good boy. Show us where the food is. |
Hey, the dog smells something! | Where? Over there? |
Hey, the dog smells something! | Hey! |
Hey, the dog smells something! | Yoink. |
Hey, the dog smells something! | My old lunch box! |
Hey, the dog smells something! | That Amos Burke made his own rules. |
Hey, the dog smells something! | Very old animal crackers! |
Homer, no! Those were made in the Sixties. | Mmmm... turbulent. |
Homer, no! Those were made in the Sixties. | Ow! What the hell? |
"Find the golden giraffe, and we'll send you and your family to Africa." | Africa? They're bound to have food there! |
We make household poisons and Christmas lights. | Your box made promises of a vacational nature. And I expect you to live up to them. |
An old box of cookies is not a legal contract. | Ow! My eye! |
Mr. Simpson, we've decided to make good on your vacation. | Woo hoo! |
Mr. Simpson, we've decided to make good on your vacation. | Hey, mister? |
Uh, yes? | On the plane, I'm gonna need two seats... for the twins. |
He is our leader. He seized power in a bloodless coup. All smotherings. | Just like Jimmy Carter. |
I will come down for your bags. | That's okay. I got 'em. |
I will come down for your bags. | Eh, bound to happen. |
Ooh, look, everybody! | Wowww... It just rolled over to ten thousand. |
Wait, rhinos don't come from eggs. | What did you just see, Lisa? |
I know, but... | What did you just see? |
BA HOOLIE GANGA / HEELIE DOO / MA HOOLIE WAPPA / IMBATU Take it, Homer! | GLIBBIE GLOP GLOOPIE / NIBBIE NABBIE NOOBIE / LA LE LO LO LO. |
That's terrible! | Now, honey, poachers are nature's way of keeping the balance. Whenever there are so many species that people get confused and angry, a poacher is born. |
This is the earliest known fossil of a human being. It's over two million years old. | I've got more bones than that guy. If you're trying to impress me, you've failed. |
It's not the number of bones, sir, it's the... | You have failed. |
Oh, thank you. Your ground is so comfortable. | By the way, what kind of blood is this? |
This song has been going on for hours. | Yeah, it's like the Allman Brothers! |
Now, Simpsons! Run for it! | Good ol' Kitenge. |
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