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So you have better sunblock than me... rub it in
true
Jews are so insecure... they constantly remind us their country isreal.
true
Two blondes went to a drive-in movie. what movie did they go to see? closed for winter.
true
Only death will keep me from you. or cake. or netflix. or kittens....hold on, i have a list.
true
Iowa poll's mixed message: strongman or strong woman?
false
Leaving twitter for facebook is like leaving the bar to go home.
true
Espn welcomes curt schilling back even after his disturbing hillary clinton comments
false
Although not as effective as finger quotes, finger commas and finger periods are way fun.
true
Here's some ways to get teachers to support lgbt students
false
Russia appears to deploy forces in egypt, eyes on libya role
false
Why men's self-esteem drops when their romantic partners succeed
false
Beethoven's chicken q: why did beethoven kill his chicken? a: it kept saying, bach, bach, bach.
true
Fruit by the foot, but no meat by the meter? i call bullshit.
true
Katy perry: russell brand and other men i've dated are 'challenging'
false
What do you call a tin boat? a hydrofoil.
true
West virginia teacher strike heads into uncharted territory
false
Bcs bowl travel: what to do besides go to the game (photos)
false
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? dam.
true
How does a coffee pot feel when it is hot? perky.
true
U.s. figure skater nathan chen redeems himself with record-setting skate
false
11 of the best body positive fashion moments in 2016
false
Change is always hard.... especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
true
What do you get when you cross hitler with a black woman? aw sieg heil no!
true
Why did hitler quit drinking? it made him angry.
true
Black sabbath announce their end after nearly 50 years together
false
Barbie for president: doll announces bid for white house
false
Heartwarming animated clip tackles lingering myths about hiv/aids
false
Three elephants jump off a cliff, two land on the beach, one in the ocean... ba-dum tshh
true
What do the members of blackstreet like on their sandwiches? mayo mayo mayo mayooooooooooooooooo
true
Cristiano ronaldo finds woman's missing phone, returns it, takes her out to dinner
false
How to get a sexy vintage waves hairstyle for valentine's day (photos)
false
I'm a brown woman who's breaking up with the democratic party
false
Get a slab of bread dough. wrap dental floss around it. congratulations, you've seen me naked.
true
If april showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring? genocide.
true
5 diet 'miracles' you might want to avoid
false
Dwayne johnson writes adorable instagram caption about diaper duty
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So what are your goals for working here? to be home by 5
true
How many fugitives does it take to fix a light bulb? 1/3
true
Natural highs: a positive approach to mood alteration
false
Waldo is probably horrible at responding to texts.
true
Dikembe mutombo swears there's no nba draft lottery conspiracy
false
The guest who's coming to dinner - maple-walnut cranberry tart
false
Uncle sam wants you to help solve national problems
false
Buy a boat, name it relation. now you can tell people that you have a relationship.
true
Amazon refuses to comply with police request in arkansas murder case
false
5 out of 4 people don't get jokes about fractions.
true
I keep trying to make funny eye puns... but my friends say they keep getting cornea and cornea.
true
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a likalotapus.
true
I'm far too cute to only have one ex-husband.
true
What do you do if a bird shits on your windscreen? don't take her out again.
true
Why didn't the police ask about his guns?
false
Donald trump campaign manager corey lewandowski appears to grab protester at rally
false
Fox news defends trump’s 'shithole' comments as just the way normal people talk
false
Ethics training is missing the mark: here's why
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What do 0/10 little boys enjoy? catholic priests
true
'pretty little liars' clothing line hitting aéropostale this january
false
Method man lists doj report as contributing factor for ferguson police shooting
false
James corden sparkles in spoof version of rihanna's 'diamonds'
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Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons? because they keep stepping on the string.
true
Wife: *filing for divorce* me: are you mad at me?
true
Just got added to a list called people. glad i made that cut.
true
How many people with alzheimer's does it take to change a lightbulb? to get to the otherside!
true
Absence makes the heart grow fonder... of someone else, who isn't quite as absent.
true
Epa spending on scott pruitt's soundproof phone booth broke federal law, government watchdog finds
false
Cop quietly pays for family's essentials after shoplifting bust
false
How to spot a douchebag in the gym? really bad so he hurts himself.
true
Bishop heather cook, sobriety, and the question of who should be clergy
false
You want to have your cake and eat it, too. yeah. it's my cake.
true
Donald trump to bring adviser with russia ties to classified briefing
false
Why do sharks swim in salt water? because pepper water makes them sneeze!
true
My girlfriend complained that i never listen to her. at least that's what i think she said.
true
I hate finding out i'm arguing with someone who actually knows what they're talking about.
true
'the paybacks' proves superhero comics can be legitimately funny
false
Don't use asian prostitutes you'll just be horny again in an hour
true
Donald trump calls kim jong un a 'smart cookie'
false
15 things to buy now that will make your life better in 20 years
false
'vampire' graves in bulgaria could create tourism boom
false
If you're home alone and hear a fart do you laugh or get scared
true
What is a cell? something you keep black people in
true
I heard you like bad boys? *jumps in pool after eating without waiting an hour* sup.
true
My secretary doesn't wear any bra or panties to work. but he types really well.
true
Why do jews get circumcised? because jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off.
true
Your parents brought you up! don't bring them down.
true
Zooey deschanel and new husband jacob pechenik welcome baby girl
false
How to find the best cruise deals for families
false
How to do leather and lace for summer
false
What do you call a nosy pepper? a pepper that gets jalapeno business!
true
About to retire? here's why you should consider a reverse mortgage home loan
false
I'm quitting drinking for good. now i drink for evil.
true
Donald trump expects the media to do what he wants -- because it often does
false
My homework ate my dog -student in python breeding class
true
Vanessa paradis talks love & relationships in new interview
false
Most of trump's voters don't think he's changed since taking office
false
Sometimes waking up means the best part of your day is over.
true
Rural counties are making a comeback, census data shows
false
Wanna hear a dirty joke? a pig jumped into a giant pit of mud.
true
Forrest gump wasn't a retard. he was just raised in philly
true
7 newly popular baby names that have been hiding in plain sight
false
30 days of online dating: my first tinder date
false
Q: what do you get if you cross tina turner with an orang-utan? a: a f*ing ugly orang-utan
true