text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Why jimmy carter wouldn't run for president today | false |
I bought a dog so i wouldn't feel creepy picking up poop off the sidewalk | true |
What did the magician say to the aerial student? i work on a different plane | true |
'two can play that game...' -people who dont understand that's how games usually work | true |
'paycheck to paycheck' hbo doc shows us what it's like to be a single mom in america | false |
Saudi prince who owns much of twitter sees ipo by early 2014 | false |
787 grounded: faa orders airlines to park dreamliners over safety concerns (update) | false |
My dad is a real family man. he has three of them | true |
What do we do with the flat earthers? | false |
The deadly consequences of solitary with a cellmate | false |
House appropriations committee confirms congress can't defund obama's immigration action | false |
Harry reid: 'donald trump is an american nightmare' | false |
Immigration reform, lawful authority and the office of legal counsel | false |
Why is the sea salty? because the land never waves back | true |
From planet of the apes to the apes of the planet: simian meanderings on the looney front | false |
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. | true |
The case for collective impact strategies on the local level | false |
Low self esteem group meeting please use the back door | true |
If i get an email headed dear friend, i know it's a scam. i don't have friends | true |
Lpt: when googling grandfather clock don't forget the l. | true |
North america’s rarest wolf had a bad year | false |
What do you call a slavic spouse? czech-mate | true |
Lottery tips: how to get the best rate of return | false |
Online dating anxiety disorder -- is it worse during the holidays? | false |
401k advice: why not to invest in company stock | false |
Juneau, the jewel in alaska's crown: cruising alaska's inside passage on the looney front, part 4 | false |
I was on tv last night when i'm drunk, i sleep anywhere. | true |
Clean your carpets because they are germ hotspots | false |
Did you hear about the magic tractor? it drove down the road and turned into a field | true |
Why are gas giants always so happy? because they're all jovial. | true |
I really want to try sado-necro-beastiality... but i feel like i'd just be flogging a dead horse. | true |
Rep. todd young enters competitive indiana senate race | false |
Software in fatal uber crash reportedly recognized woman, then ignored her | false |
How many south americans are boycotting the world cup final? brazilians | true |
'pitch perfect' co-stars anna camp and skylar astin tie the knot in california | false |
A look back at where pay equity has been and where it's going | false |
Words of wisdom from mr. rogers for all of us after the paris tragedy | false |
Why did the witch keep turning people into mickey mouse? she was having disney spells. | true |
My wife is driving me to drink. i hope she remembers to pick me up when i'm done. | true |
Jimmy fallon will host the 2017 golden globes | false |
What do you call an arcade in eastern europe? czech-e-cheese | true |
There's an anti-parallelogram party tonight. be there, or be square. | true |
Pamela kay cobb, former bank of america employee, sentenced to prison for stealing millions | false |
Farmer: what would you do if a bull charged you? mary: i'd pay whatever it charged. | true |
How is american beer like having sex in a canoe? it's fucking close to water. | true |
Nursing home gunman was reportedly abusive to the women who gave him a chance | false |
Idea: an animated sitcom where the characters age and change clothes. | true |
Cop: you look pretty beat up, how many attackers did you say there was? me: easily 10 | true |
How to become an expert in the field of possibility | false |
What do you call a valley girl giving a blowjob for louis vuittons? head over heels | true |
You know you're a gay kid of the '90s if... | false |
Why aren't there any good jokes about the dark side? i dunno but there's a darth of them | true |
I became an atheist when i found out there was a religion that prohibited bacon. | true |
Canada is so sexist! why isn't there a womanitoba | true |
How do you fit 4 girls on a bar stool? flip it over | true |
Welcome to alzheimersaware.co.uk. forgot your password? of course you did. | true |
Problems i've got 99 problems and they're all first world. | true |
Video surfaces of georgia tech football player knocking out teammate | false |
This chicago joint serves barbecue with a side of bacon candy | false |
You know what i like about bathroom humor? it's funny shit! | true |
A tv weatherman who keeps accidentally calling the anchorwoman mom | true |
Stephen colbert blames donald trump's daddy issues for inspiring his presidential run | false |
I went to my first major league game 50 years ago -- and all hell broke loose | false |
Bob hope's house in toluca lake, calif., had enough room for nixon to land a helicopter (photos) | false |
Why can't bruce jenner drive a kia? because they have tranny problems too | true |
What is a lazy persons favourite exercise routine? diddly squat. | true |
Jennifer garner hilariously responds to that oscars meme | false |
Charlie crist's success depends on one area of florida | false |
7 challenges parents of teenage girls face with regards to sex | false |
Holy mother of all that is good, 'curb your enthusiasm' is officially back | false |
Tobago, nirvana for naturalists: trotting round trinidad and tobago on the looney front, part 3 | false |
What's the difference between donald trump and a bucket of shit? the bucket! | true |
I'm against plastic surgery, but it's also horrifying what people are supposed to really look like. | true |
Up to 2,000 teens close down kentucky mall | false |
Samantha bee goofs on trump supporters who say election is rigged | false |
When you are dying... make sure your final words fit on a tombst | true |
What's the speed limit of sex? 68; at 69 you have to turn around. | true |
Dad shows incredible patience in face of incessant kid questions | false |
The prospects for mediation between saudi arabia and iran | false |
Q: how do you make any watch a stopwatch? a: don't wind it. | true |
Getting children out of poverty requires a two-generation approach | false |
Voting booths are like brothels you have to decide which ass you want. | true |
Have you ever smelled moth balls? reply: yes how did you manage to get between their tiny legs? | true |
Media heroes rescue veterans' charity money from scam artist | false |
Red shoes, green bags and blue baubles: 15 primary color accessories under $100 (photos) | false |
Paul ryan supports a new voting rights act, but he's not doing anything to pass it | false |
Accidental saint: the passion of pastor nadia bolz-weber (all together podcast) | false |
How do you measure a snake? in inches. snakes don't have any feet. | true |
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?? yeah, it runs in your jeans... | true |
Hillary clinton on las vegas shooting: 'we must stand up to the nra' | false |
Hillary clinton is like an art history major, old and useless. | true |
Women in business: q&a with donna josephson chief marketing officer, mcalister's deli | false |
Why is dick short for richard? genetics, i guess | true |
'your blood tested positive for ebola. i am sorry.' | false |
Seen on the back of a harley-davidson tee shirt: if you can read this, my bitch fell off. | true |
A kid with a.d.d. walks in late for class... look a squirrel! | true |
The long and proud history of charleston's ame church | false |
I realized today why some people spend their lives looking for bigfoot. he doesn't exist. | true |
Yeah, sex is awesome. but have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer? | true |
I just saw someone by themselves not looking at a phone. hope they're ok. | true |
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