text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Slipped on a tube of toothpaste this morning. i was crestfallen. | true |
You give me butterflies. i give them back. please stop handing me insects, it's really weird. | true |
Why traveling solo can offer the best company | false |
I was banned from the middle east, so this is what i did... iran | true |
The great nemesis i encountered just before my 50th birthday | false |
What do you call someone that will only have sex with homeless people? a hobosexual | true |
Reese witherspoon's smokey eye makeup renders us speechless | false |
How are aids researchers like jews? there's a lot less of them than there used to be... | true |
Mit gunman: man with rifle reported on campus, scene is clear (update) | false |
The best economies in the world: 24/7 wall st. | false |
I submitted a glass pane in for a competition. i'm hoping i can window. | true |
Did you hear about the sexually promiscuous deaf person? turns out he got hearing aids. | true |
Ann romney's blue nails: mitt's wife went kind of edgy at last night's debate (photos) | false |
Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the pizza? he ate it before it was cool. | true |
What do you call a vegan zombie? a no-brainer. | true |
Some macians can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land | true |
For that parent who's not the sharpest crayon in the box: a poem | false |
New leadership choices: are you the leader this moment requires? | false |
Everyone on reddit seems to want a secular turkey... my fat ass just wants a succulent one. | true |
Paul ryan just got the sweetest deal in congress | false |
Scientists to name tiny, newly discovered fish after obama | false |
According to steve jobs, what type is the pokemon scizor? feature/borrow | true |
How do you spell your name? her: me: her: k-i-m me: | true |
Love wins in singer dyllan murray's heartfelt new music video | false |
Meet broadway's 10 hottest chorus boys of 2017 | false |
'the taste' ends first season with a sad whimper | false |
I feel like a lot of single women have been naming their cats adele this year. | true |
Why didnt the pedicurist accept black customers she was blacktoes intolerant... | true |
Apparently watching your lover sleep is only romantic when they know who you are. | true |
Where do poor meatballs live? in the spaghetto. | true |
Why does it take *two* premenstrual women to change a light bulb? #because!! | true |
What it's like to get nexplanon, the birth control implant in your arm | false |
Global press freedom has taken an ‘unbelievable’ hit this year | false |
Q. what does chaos stand for? a. the chiefs have arrived on scene. | true |
A kiss makes my day. anal makes my whole week. | true |
Janet yellen tells senate to stop stalling on federal reserve nominees | false |
Why i gave up peanut butter cups forever | false |
Family of ebola nurse fires back at critics | false |
What do you call a greek arsonist? a | true |
My friend might be hung tomorrow... the suspense is killing him. | true |
The 'avengers: age of ultron' gag reel is totally worthy of lols | false |
10 really powerful and amazing things cancer taught me | false |
Ariana grande in line for rare honorary manchester citizenship | false |
Did you hear about the old chameleon that couldn't change color? he had *a reptile dysfunction*. | true |
Your small paycheck may have been determined at birth | false |
So a banana gets a job, how much does he make? not that much he's working for scale. | true |
Why is it called a funny bone? because its humerus! | true |
Unbinding the heart: put yourself on your to-do list | false |
Wedding party reenacts leonardo da vinci's 'last supper' painting, because why not | false |
When stoves die... they go to hoven. i'm^so^sorry | true |
Gov. andrew cuomo calls for national gun control in eulogy for aide killed by stray bullet | false |
Chuck norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage | true |
Our gutenberg moment: it's time to grapple with the internet's effect on democracy | false |
Suvorexant: new kind of sleeping pill works by blocking wakefulness | false |
Why is dog man's best friend? they keep the mailman away from his wife | true |
A scavenger hunt in d.c. for president lincoln | false |
Racists have a friend in the white house | false |
You don't control me, god! you hear me? i don't care what you named me! | true |
How many sycophants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? how many do you want? | true |
Republicans horrified by trump's comments continue to support him | false |
The no. 1 key to living and dying well | false |
People with a sense of humor are so much easier to talk to. | true |
Liam neeson shares heartfelt story about meeting muhammad ali | false |
Jimmy kimmel shares adorable health update after son's heart surgery | false |
A quick reminder that sexual assault is not about lust -- it's about power and control | false |
Uswnt stars lead the way in concussion research for female athletes | false |
The dehumanization of black children: tamir rice, kalief browder and dajerria becton | false |
Next time you get in a fight with your girl.. go tighten all the lids on the jars. | true |
Central michigan upsets with incredible hail mary after officiating error | false |
News flash: video games are good for you | false |
What do you call a retard who is super high? a baked potato lol xd | true |
Two silkworms had a race it was a tie | true |
Why hasn't there been a coup in the united states? because they don't have a us embassy. | true |
You don't realize just how eco-friendly clowns are until you think about how much they carpool. | true |
My girlfriends dad asked me what i do apparently, your daughter wasnt the right answer | true |
Humpty dumpty had a good summer... but he had a *great* fall! | true |
Pumice 'raft' floating off new zealand coast created by undersea volcano eruption, researchers say | false |
Trump praises gianforte's 'big win,' slams white house leaks as 'lies' | false |
What do u call a nun in a wheel chair virgin mobile. xd | true |
If you watch cinderella backwards its about a girl who finds her place in society. | true |
This joke up me crack everytime i hear it will tell you after next bowel movement. | true |
Why isn't my hand 12 inches? because then it would be a foot | true |
Roses are red-ish... violets are blue-ish. if it wasn't for jesus, we'd all be jewish. | true |
Abe cabinet ministers under fire over controversial remarks | false |
Keith olbermann: is the trump white house high? | false |
Let's ride back to the 1950s with the orient express (photos) | false |
I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me | true |
Angela merkel says border walls won't solve immigration issues | false |
Kids and life online: are parents' fears warranted? | false |
What do you call a speech so scary it makes you crap your pants? a dire rhetoric. | true |
I think i want a job cleaning mirrors it's just something i can see myself doing. | true |
You know you're an alcoholic when you can't even say the word sober without making air quotes | true |
Supreme court sides with democrats in challenge to virginia's racially drawn districts | false |
Thinking of getting another bed just for all my laundry | true |
Activists free on bail after being arrested investigating ivanka trump's chinese factories | false |
You know who loves to get fisted? sock puppets... -credit to daniel tosh | true |
Kids' online safety: how to protect children from facebook sex offenders | false |
Do you have a little irish in you? well... would you like some? | true |
We're crazy in love for leslie jones, tara lipinski and johnny weir's beyoncé moves | false |
By shear coincidence... ...all these sheep look the same... | true |
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