text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Conductor this bus was very slow! oh i expect we'll pick up speed now you're getting off! | true |
J.j. abrams talks about that big luke skywalker mystery | false |
What do you call a racist police officer? a police officer | true |
Cocaine worth $60 million washes up on beach | false |
Be careful how much wine you drink, might end up vacuuming the driveway in your panties | true |
24 perfectly snarky tweets about 'the bachelor' season 21, episode 9 | false |
It would be horrible if a mexican male's name was rita. hello, senior rita. | true |
Can a trust protect my assets in divorce? | false |
Why was the homeless man's body cremated? because he urned it | true |
What's the difference between three penises and a joke? your mom can't take a joke. | true |
Kate winslet's vogue cover is unbelievable -- literally (photos) | false |
Rose byrne sag awards 2012 jumpsuit: do or don't? (photos, poll) | false |
All these jokes about the note 7 are terrible but they have really blown up ( ) | true |
A white sushi chef is mocking japanese accents. here's why it matters. | false |
Why should little girls have to stop shouting 'hurray for me'? | false |
What did jack frost say at his climax? winter is coming | true |
Congress still hasn't dealt with its sexual harassment problem | false |
Behold, the most trumpian statement of the election yet | false |
Brad pitt voluntarily submits drug test amid ongoing child abuse investigation | false |
73 kitchen hacks to save time, get organized and stay sane | false |
Joe biden marries two gay white house officials at his house. his wife isn't happy. | true |
What do gay jazz musicians play? the ballsax. | true |
What do you call a guy who's into beastiality? someone who really gets his head into the game. | true |
Gay jokes are not funny come on guys... | true |
Two peanuts were walking down the street one of them was assaulted | true |
Why did the papal palace fill up with kittens? because the pope was a cat-holic. eh? eh? | true |
What's tinier than a teeny weenie ant? an ant's teeny weenie. | true |
5 things not to say to a transgender person (and 3 things you should) | false |
Where did the drug addict keep his food and dishes? the potry | true |
*deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone. *adds extremely organized to resume. | true |
What do you call a snake who works in the government? a civil serpent. | true |
How did the pollock die raking leaves? he fell out of the tree. | true |
Americans are just canadians that someone fed after midnight. | true |
What is it called when foreign girls spread their legs? i call it the british open. | true |
Why didn't the young bald eagle need a chaperone? he already had super-vision. | true |
3 nhl sleeper teams that just may wake up this season | false |
Why did tigger look down the toilet? to find pooh! | true |
Why is it so hard to pronounce words in welsh? it is the language of wales. | true |
There's this band called one thousand and twenty three megabytes they haven't had any gigs yet. | true |
What do you call a hungarian insect who won't leave siddhartha alone? a buddha-pest. | true |
University of california will review how harassment complaints against tenured faculty are handled | false |
Explorers in poland are digging for legendary nazi gold | false |
Democrats remind nation there's an easy way to stop the outbreak of anti-lgbt laws | false |
I only like brown rice not white rice. i think that makes me a ricist. | true |
What did sigmund freud do for mother's day? his mom. | true |
U.s. marks july fourth amid worries over security, sharks, wildfires | false |
An atom loses an electron, another atom asks 'you sure?' i'm positive. | true |
The hidden cost of car rentals in mexico | false |
Donald trump says he's raised $51 million. the actual numbers are starting to come in. | false |
Anthony weiner's former mistress lived in my apartment for a week | false |
What can your country deliver with the push of a button? | false |
New york times ceo says print edition might live another 10 years | false |
Which video game would adolf hitler play? mein kraft | true |
A guy walks into a bar -- and sustains a mild concussion. | true |
What does ebenezer scrooge serve at his christmas party? humburgers! | true |
How do you make a hormone? don't tip her. | true |
Happy to report that i just made people magazine's list of top 100 million people on twitter. | true |
Why i question every new breast-is-best finding these days | false |
Optimistic thought of the day: you are always 1/3 of the way towards having a threesome. | true |
Turn it off! light round the clock speeds up aging in mice | false |
5 under-the-radar hawaii sites that are as historic as they are beautiful | false |
How to hide in the bathroom in 6 easy steps | false |
Isidore part 2: jeffrey cain's journey from church fan to kilbey collaborator | false |
I saw mommy kissing santa claus good thing he didn't see what mommy did after bedtime ... | true |
Belgian catholic bishop calls for recognition of same-sex relationships | false |
Oh you're excited about something? i'll make sure that it doesn't happen. - life | true |
Rex tillerson: when it comes to north korea, all options are on the table | false |
Religious refugee resettlement agencies say trump's travel ban was 'net loss' for u.s. | false |
I was going to join the debating team in high school, but someone talked me out of it. | true |
I hate when people don't watch where i'm going when i'm walking and texting. | true |
I like to spend my sunday night wishing it wasn't sunday night. | true |
All my life i thought air was free... until i bought a bag of chips!!! | true |
I saved a girl from getting raped today i stopped chasing her | true |
What do we want? a cure for paranoia when do we want it? who wants to know | true |
Conservative activist: raising taxes on the wealthy is ‘a cruel thing to do’ | false |
Tuesday's morning email: the trump jr. meeting story just got even more complicated | false |
No one is obligated to have a second baby | false |
Did you hear about the alaska native that didn't like fish? yeah, he just wasn't inuit. | true |
The unbearable whiteness of trumpistan illuminates half-truths of 'racial realism' | false |
My cat was looking for a place to sleep today, all she kneaded was my lap. | true |
The best nba rookie you've probably never heard of | false |
Samantha bee on the ‘tsunami of misogyny’ that will follow a woman president | false |
It's not herpes... they're called genital cold sores | true |
How do you know if you sisters on her period? your dad's dick tastes like blood. | true |
Gunmen in eqypt mosque attack carried isis flag, prosecutor says | false |
Chris brown has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ptsd. what does that mean? | false |
That pre-meeting 'power pose' isn't doing what you think it's doing | false |
Have you heard the one about the deaf guy? no, neither has he. | true |
Giants pitcher matt moore comes thisclose to throwing a no-hitter | false |
'snl' reimagines a realistic magic carpet ride in 'aladdin' spoof | false |
What's the difference between everybody and bullets? everybody misses harambe. | true |
Candace cameron bure: ‘loving jesus doesn’t mean i hate gay people’ | false |
What do you call a hippie's wife? mississippi | true |
Keith olbermann lists '74 terrible things' donald trump did this month | false |
Watermelon oreos are real and on sale at target for a limited time (photo) | false |
5 relaxing ski resorts to retreat to this winter | false |
Trump names budget director mulvaney interim head of consumer agency | false |
My best friend died in a freak boiling water accident. he will be mist. | true |
Katie porter survived domestic abuse, only to have it used against her in her campaign | false |
See tom hanks in the trailer for steven spielberg's 'bridge of spies' | false |
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