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er just to keep you balancd well. now make sure you can still stand up (once you |
get that far the rest will come naturaly) and get in yer pickup (if you dont hav |
e a pickup there is no hope for ya!) and drive. Oh remember to take the gas, bag |
s, and light with you. |
Step two: Drive to a secluded area and preparew for your assault on the armies o |
f the conformist bastards. What your gonna be doin here is summoning a demon. Th |
is is one of the waeker types according to the Necromnicon so you can control it |
easily in your druged state but powerful enouhg to actually be of use to ya. So |
draw yer pentagram on the ground,get a Slayer tapepl aying (no motley crue!!! or |
the demon will laugh its ass off at you before killing you and eating your soul. |
Adn thats a big waste of time not to mention no fun at all.) set candles at all |
cardinal points and cut a long incision down the lenght of your arm about frmo |
mid-bicep to just before your wrist as you dont want to bleed to death,just enou |
gh to get about 3/4 of a pint or so. Drip all this blood inside the pent.,and ch |
ant the following: |
"YOGGIH PPEDRILS, STOWART EHNTAHL SHILGLI DRAGGULS UOHT!" |
Say this5 times and you shoukld noteice the candles flikckering (hmm i blieve th |
e rrUSH is starting to come on nwo, this sucker relly was worht 40 a sheet!!)! B |
y the way that shit up there that ya say is not nay kind of backjwards bullshit, |
it is the real stuff. I paid 40 bux for my copy of the youknowwhat so i oughtta |
know. now where was i o yeah. Onece the damn thing appears thjen you gotta estab |
lish control over it real qiock before it start getting any ideas. by the way in |
caser you wodering what it will look like it is a big motherfucker approx. 20 fe |
eet tall with green leathery sking. If you get the wrong one it doesnt really ma |
tter that much anywayt since youll be dyin soon but it helps. so now get it to f |
ly along above yer truck (tell it to be invisible so ya dont have peopl starin a |
t ya!) and drive back to whereever it is that your gonna destroy. |
Step three: stop back at yer house wreal quick and pick up the follwng. If you d |
ont have all this at house then just go by a hardware storte and a drugstore and |
picjk it up. if the owner objkects then just take out his kneecaps with your cro |
wbar and he wont be goin anywhere for a long time. |
30 dozen hammers |
50 gallons of paint (asorted colors is nice but not necesary) |
(jesus this is weird, have any of you ever seen ther letters on yer screen wiggl |
ing and boucing didnt think so!!) now where was i/ |
5-10 tanks of propane |
100+ gallons of gas (for a seperate use than the gas i alreadyu mentiond) |
from the drugstore,or your closet if your like me and keep a constant supply of |
every kind of drug ever made): |
1,000 doses of pseudoephedrine (there we go,i spelled it right! well ive got the |
catalog next to me so fuck it anyway,it doesnt mean shit.neuither does your mama |
. i think im getting off track - wel then again it is kind og amazing cause my |
ingers are twichin so bad) |
5,000 doses of LSD |
250 doses of qualudes |
600 cases of JACK DANIELS |
ok now for the good part. Consume all of these yourself! HAAHAHA! i bet you thou |
ght you were suposed to put them in the citys water supply or soething! but now |
you better get moving cause this is all gonna take effect within the hour! but i |
f ya wanna save some to put in the citywater then go ahead,you wont have quite a |
s much fun but who the fuck am i to tell you exactly how to do things. |
Step four: Drive to the heart of the city. on the way see how many little old la |
dies and fag poodles ya can hit. When ya get to the talest building in town smas |
h into a fire hydrant in front of it. now get out and run like a bitch *just hav |
e the demon carry all the shit for ya*! and go to the FUCKEN TOP of the building |
. here is where you do all this. |
Make the demon inhale all the propane, and give him the smaler amount of gas (th |
e one I talked about first..go back about 70 lins or so./) to drionk. Now hes al |
l set. now YOU have to get on his back. make him carry the hammers and paint and |
the largetr amount of gas. Have him take off and fly all over the city aas he fl |
ys just throw hammers down at building windows and people and paint at both of t |
hose too! Now i bet you thinking i forgot all about those garbage bags and the f |
lamethrowr. Hell no i didnt! with the little bit of propane hes got left have hi |
m blow up the bags so they make a giant baloon. now you take the big amount of g |
as and drink it (after all those other drugs it should be a smnap!) and jump. Wi |
th your weight off him and all that propane in him and with that baloon he will |
instantly take off straight up into heaven, where he will cause some wicked shit |
to happen! As for you, you will fly down and hit the ground, and be goin so fast |
that you go right through all the way to Hell. Once you get there all the gas in |
you will ingite and BOOM! Satan will be proud of you for sure! a perfect ending |
to a perfect day! |
/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\ |
\|/ Keep those credits up there excatly as they are (inother words,puttin\|/ |
/|\ your K-K00l board up there WONT be tolerated!) or we will fuck you up. /|\ |
\|/ If ya dont believe us by now your retarted. -Killer Kurt \|/ |
/|\ -And the rest of the 'knights! /|\ |
\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\\|//|\ |
/|\ Copywrit 1986 by Neon Knights/Metal Communications/ /|\ |
\|/ Black Death/No Love \|/ |
/|\ We're rad...we kill children! /|\ |
\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/\|/ |
Oh, and by the way, the above file was a parody by UrLord, Thomas Covenant. |
==Phrack Inc.== |
Volume Two, Issue 13, Phile #4 of 10 |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
/|\ the Neon Fucken Knights /|\ |
\|/ present with no alternative \|/ |
/|\HOW TO BUILD A PAISLEY BOX! /|\ |
\|/ by the fucked up Blade \|/ |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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