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ppristhestar | I (f,18) have been with my boyfriend (18) for 7 months. We adore each other, are compatible, and I am very happy within this relationship. The issue is that he is my hyper-fixation. It didn't present an issue in the beginning, when we were in constant contact getting to know each other when neither of us was especially busy. However, now we both have university work to do as well as part-time jobs. He works a bit more than I do and gets tired much more easily, so he is no longer inclined to/able to talk as much as we use to and as much as I'd like.
He takes up an immense amount of space in my brain. I think about him constantly and would much rather be talking to him than doing just about anything else. I feel like it goes beyond simply being in love because it is starting to be detrimental to my emotional state. I spend most of my downtime waiting for him to talk to me, and distracting myself with other activities or people doesn't seem to help me put him out of my mind. It is getting to the point where my emotional state on any given day can be switched instantly if I can sense even a slight demeanour or tone shift. I recognize on an intellectual level that he wants to be with me and that he loves me, but I'm so focused on him that my emotions don't coincide with my logic. It is becoming increasingly difficult to conceal this aspect of my ADHD, as I do not want to be needy, annoying, or a burden. I want to get to the point where I can feel happy and secure even if he isn't acting normally. I want to think about him idly between conversations and not have my emotions be dependant on his replies.
Has anybody else had this issue? I do not know how to snap myself out of it.
(TLDR; I am hyper fixated on my boyfriend and want to know how to stop.) | 2021-11-22T04:04:14.000Z | qzcjn5 | 2 | 2 | ADHD | I am hyper-fixated on my boyfriend, and I don't know how to stop | 0.75 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzcjn5/i_am_hyperfixated_on_my_boyfriend_and_i_dont_know/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-22T04:04:02.000Z | qzcjhl | 7 | 4 | ADHD | Requesting brand name prescription from pharmacy? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzcjhl/requesting_brand_name_prescription_from_pharmacy/ |
greenmango638 | [removed] | 2021-11-22T04:03:06.000Z | qzcitt | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Lowering cost of Vyvanse | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzcitt/lowering_cost_of_vyvanse/ |
Universal-Eye-Roll | [removed] | 2021-11-22T04:03:02.000Z | qzcis1 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Hello I would like a chat | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzcis1/hello_i_would_like_a_chat/ |
Universal-Eye-Roll | [removed] | 2021-11-22T04:00:50.000Z | qzch93 | 2 | 1 | ADHD | I’m looking for a chat buddy | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzch93/im_looking_for_a_chat_buddy/ |
missylaneous_ |
Does anybody here NOT have hyperactivity? And does NOT have trouble sleeping? And in fact gets tired too easy and sleeps too much? I feel like my mind just runs on & on for too long all day that I just get exhausted and sleep it off when I can’t get anything done. I’m fact, I start to get depressed when I feel like I have a ton of responsibilities weighed on my shoulders that I can’t get done. And the longer I let it go, the worse it gets. Luckily my boyfriend is extremely supportive & helps motivate me, but now that we’re on opposite work shifts it’s hard for me to stay motivated. | 2021-11-22T03:53:18.000Z | qzccbv | 8 | 6 | ADHD | ADHD and Tiredness | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzccbv/adhd_and_tiredness/ |
megamegaextreme | Hello all!!!!
I am going through a big life change and need to know if this idea is realistic, or if I will fall off from my plan after a month and it will effectively backfire:
I am leaving a very close work environment that I love very much but it has become toxic and I have to leave unexpectedly. Also in the midst of a complicated but healthy breakup. I looked around for a new job where I can start ASAP, applied to my dream job, and GOT IT! Yay me!!! I am stoked!
I am thinking that maybe it’s time I start wearing makeup to work! Fresh start at the new job. It would help my confidence and self esteem. I love the idea of being a slight tasteful makeup kinda girl, but I am so pitifully low-maintenance plus chronic late sleeper that I don’t know that I can trust myself to keep up the makeup routine over time.
It’s like, if you always wear makeup then one day you don’t, everyone’s like “Are you sick? Do you need to go home?” and you feel suddenly naked and ashamed. You know?
Anyway, will I be able to maintain a 10 minute makeup routine when I am really bad with mornings, or is this a Bad Idea™️?
Thank you for any advice. | 2021-11-22T03:52:17.000Z | qzcbom | 8 | 2 | ADHD | Need input: Should I start wearing makeup? | 0.75 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzcbom/need_input_should_i_start_wearing_makeup/ |
missylaneous_ | [removed] | 2021-11-22T03:48:07.000Z | qzc8z2 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | ADHD and Tiredness | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzc8z2/adhd_and_tiredness/ |
Live_Panic_287 | It feels like a cycle that I can’t stop. Whether it be online or in my personal life, I feel like I can’t stop being “too much.” It takes so little for me to go off and I feel like I’m always typing paragraphs to the ones I love telling them about something that frustrates me to get it off my chest. Then, i get hit with instant regret. Especially if I get a bad or weirded out reaction from them.
I want to stop doing this so badly. I thought becoming more self aware about it would help but I just seem to keep venting to the wrong people and making a fool of myself or saying things that make me sound like an asshole. I’m embarrassed
I go through phases where I’m not so bad and then others where I find myself making people around me overwhelmed and uncomfortable | 2021-11-22T03:43:34.000Z | qzc64j | 72 | 381 | ADHD | Infodumping/ranting and then instant regret | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzc64j/infodumpingranting_and_then_instant_regret/ |
Merso509 | I was taking a beta blocker before starting adhd meds. My adrenaline output seems to be very high. If I don't take a beta blocker with my adhd meds, I can't concentrate one bit, but taking too much reduces my heart rate and I feel a little too slow, sometimes there is not enough bloodflow to limbs.
I am taking 20mg methylpenidate long release. I seem to tolerate modafinil a little better, but it is also not as effective.
Any suggestions? | 2021-11-22T03:40:23.000Z | qzc442 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | How to reduce norepinephrine | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzc442/how_to_reduce_norepinephrine/ |
jx2661 | [removed] | 2021-11-22T03:40:15.000Z | qzc410 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | How many different medications did you go through to find the right one? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzc410/how_many_different_medications_did_you_go_through/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-22T03:37:15.000Z | qzc23b | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Anyone know if it’s safe to take Focalin or Adderall while you have Covid? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzc23b/anyone_know_if_its_safe_to_take_focalin_or/ |
Albatraze | I exclusively listen to audio books because of my mental condition. I've never really was able to read a physical book and enjoy listening to them every now and then. Though not every book is made into audio format and I wanted to start reading a new series that will most likely not be made into audio format. So, how do you read text only books? | 2021-11-22T03:34:54.000Z | qzc0mb | 5 | 1 | ADHD | Tips on reading | 0.99 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzc0mb/tips_on_reading/ |
Flimsy_Breath_9033 | Recently, about a month ago I (M19) came forward to my uncle (56, who I live with) about the fact that I may have ADHD and I brought up various examples of why I think I may have it (struggling to do online school, not comprehending things I read etc.) and he yelled in my face that I was immature and that "Ah, your brain is still growing/I was your age before!" and that if I wanted to do something I would just do it. Yay! So helpful! | 2021-11-22T03:33:59.000Z | qzbzze | 5 | 6 | ADHD | Got my concerns about potentially having ADHD dismissed as immaturity. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbzze/got_my_concerns_about_potentially_having_adhd/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-22T03:32:30.000Z | qzbz1i | 2 | 2 | ADHD | Everything got pinned on ASS, so I never got the help I needed. 2E/3E | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbz1i/everything_got_pinned_on_ass_so_i_never_got_the/ |
xashlynn | [removed] | 2021-11-22T03:30:31.000Z | qzbxqp | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Newly diagnosed and medication is making me extremely depressed | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbxqp/newly_diagnosed_and_medication_is_making_me/ |
Pandabearrah | [removed] | 2021-11-22T03:29:05.000Z | qzbwr4 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Surviving Life Backwards and Mourning Time Lost. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbwr4/surviving_life_backwards_and_mourning_time_lost/ |
Commercial-Self-2720 | [removed] | 2021-11-22T03:25:22.000Z | qzbucl | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Send help. SOS | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbucl/send_help_sos/ |
Albatraze | [removed] | 2021-11-22T03:20:17.000Z | qzbr1v | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Tips on reading | 0.99 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbr1v/tips_on_reading/ |
iSaidWhatiSaidSis | To anyone who DOESNT have ADHD...
If you KNOW someone has ADHD please do not interrupt them when they are doing things.
We forget where we were, and have to start over everytime. From the beginning. We work beginning to end. Not in little chunks. We have bad short term memory. We have bad LONG term memory. We have a lot of trouble LISTENING. And when you interrupt us something that isn't a big deal, doesn't need attention right away etc, it's like a wall CRASHES...the huge wall of the unsurmountable task before us that's as intimidating as Mount Everest.
All work completed has to begin again. And again, and again, with every single disruption and you know what? Eventually we say, "eff it! I'm not climbing this mountain now." Now, of course that doesn't make sense but that is 100000000% how I work.
Do I manage it well, sure.... but after a full 10 hour day, yes I will most definitely blow, at the defeat that stands before me - of not finishing my task.
This isn't a choice. This is how my brain works. This is why we are poor in studies. This is why most of us haven't read a book.... ever. Yes ever.
And if you try to tell me, "make your brain work a different way, I challenge you to do the same and also, what the hell do you even know about brains and how they work?"
Now I'm not asking for, "special treatment"... I am asking that you love me enough to realize this is something I deal with and respect that, by not contributing to disruption when I am clearly actively engaged in a task. If I am in a groove and flying through the day, DO NOT BOTHER ME. It can WAIT.
Now, I am going to bed a complete failure at the huge task I had today. I am in tears that I can't function like the rest of you. Everyone has challenges but, God how I would love to just be able to read a BOOK. How many books have you read in your life? Me? Not one. Tell me some stories of all the great books you've read! I'd love to know what Mice and Men or 1984 was about.
This is why I can't play cards, which everytime I play people seem to think that's funny? Since when is being slow, "funny." Do I need to start disclosing to everyone, "hey sorry if I'm slow... I have adhd?" I don't feel this is something I need to apologize for, or made fun of.
No thanks. I'll pass on cards. ITS NOT FUN FOR ME.
Today, I went from completely motivated to feeling like an incompetent loser, even though I know I am smart and capable.
We aren't crazy. We're distractable. We're slower than most. The crazy part follows when we are so pissed off, that we shut the hell down.
If you did read to the end of this and want to know anything about ADHD, ask me. I've tolerated living in a world, in which I've never asked for special treatment or wanted it. I've never explained myself because, why... a LOT of people have ADHD. Aren't yall used to, "slow people that are fun to make fun of?"
Again, I don't want your pity or special treatment. I seriously just want you to listen when I say, "I'm busy."
Why isn't that enough? Seriously why can't you take, "I am busy" for a GD answer. | 2021-11-22T03:19:31.000Z | qzbqix | 10 | 7 | ADHD | Open Letter to my Non ADHD Family and Friends | 0.82 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbqix/open_letter_to_my_non_adhd_family_and_friends/ |
Accomplished_Sir2389 | EDs are very competitive disorders, and me and my roommate both struggled with them in the past. My roommate struggles with ED thoughts a little more than I do these days.
I know adderall will suppress my appetite, and I’ll inevitably eat less than I used to (I used to eat a lot simply for stimulation). I try to get in my 3 meals but i simply cannot eat as much as I used to. I still feel nourished but I don’t like eating beyond feeling full.
I don’t want to eat just as much as before just to make her comfortable because that seems unhealthy, but I also care about her and don’t want to negatively affect her.
Any Advice? | 2021-11-22T03:16:53.000Z | qzboud | 11 | 32 | ADHD | Adderall makes me less hungry and my roommate has an eating disorder | 0.94 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzboud/adderall_makes_me_less_hungry_and_my_roommate_has/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-22T03:06:15.000Z | qzbhxd | 25 | 0 | ADHD | Bent tail bone, fixed it, no more ADHD symptoms. | 0.3 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbhxd/bent_tail_bone_fixed_it_no_more_adhd_symptoms/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-22T03:05:45.000Z | qzbhmc | 4 | 2 | ADHD | I don't know if my doctor told me to use Adderall correctly... | 0.75 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbhmc/i_dont_know_if_my_doctor_told_me_to_use_adderall/ |
pancakelady2108 | Feel like I'm out here on my own grappling with intense feelings of failure and horrible low self esteem. I will trap myself in a cycle that goes as follows: Wanting to do a thing - maybe trying a little bit - convincing myself I can't do the thing and it was stupid - go off and do something easy/non productive/actually stupid - sulk and wallow, get sad and depressed - repeat.
I just want to do things. To be good at things. To be able to set goals and achieve them, to get enjoyment out of the journey. But it's all so overwhelming. If something doesn't continuously capture my attention I get bored straightaway. Everything seems to hard or too much effort. I'm stuck in this permaloop wasting time and life and its really messing me up 😭😭 | 2021-11-22T02:59:22.000Z | qzbd8x | 2 | 10 | ADHD | Feeling like a failure all the time | 0.92 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbd8x/feeling_like_a_failure_all_the_time/ |
ImaginaryShame1736 | [removed] | 2021-11-22T02:58:02.000Z | qzbce4 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | I just got diagnosed with ADHD and possible Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder but I don’t know how to tell my family. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbce4/i_just_got_diagnosed_with_adhd_and_possible/ |
EveAdlerErotica | [removed] | 2021-11-22T02:57:49.000Z | qzbc9g | 0 | 1 | ADHD | CBD oil for anxiety / RSD? Experiences, thoughts? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzbc9g/cbd_oil_for_anxiety_rsd_experiences_thoughts/ |
connorlogan125 | I live with my parents, my bedroom is small even for bedroom standards. I also have a lot of stuff in my room because I'm a gamer and collector. So I have a desk, a feew posters, gaming consoles, monitors, figures etc. And sometimes the space overwhelms me, it gives like mini burts of extreme anger and sadness. Any advice on what to do? | 2021-11-22T02:49:51.000Z | qzb6yl | 3 | 2 | ADHD | Bedroom is small and has a lot of stuff | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzb6yl/bedroom_is_small_and_has_a_lot_of_stuff/ |
Bluewords70 | **TL;DR: The title says it all.**
It's like I'm floating around the space station with all the Lego pieces. I'm trying to keep track of some by holding them in my hands; but I have to let them go to pick up others. They drift away.
I find the directions, but I don't understand them.
I snap together a few pieces...a few more...hey! This is starting to come together! I'm actually building a whole section of this big project! But oh hey, there's a critical Lego I've been chasing for days...I go after it, and the unfinished section floats away.
I snap together a few more pieces...maybe this is the way to do it, just keep building little bits until it feels less overwhelming. But then a Lego hits my in the eye and I let go of everything.
I blink and decide to collect the Legos by color. I have most of the blue pieces, but then the unfinished section I worked on earlier floats by. I should really finish that before starting anything else.
The Legos have clogged the ventilation system. Oxygen is dropping. I know what to do. I rip apart a vent, clear out the offending Legos, zip them in my pocket, and reassemble the vent in 10 seconds flat. I saved us all! Look at that focus! The adrenaline!
I turn around and...oh. All those pieces. Why am I doing this anyway? Who builds a Lego project on a space station?! This is a ridiculous idea. I gather up half the pieces, wrangle them into the box, and sit down to relax. The other pieces are floating towards the ventilation system.
Sorry, this is probably the lamest metaphor ever...it's just what it feels like trying to manage goals, tasks, and daily life. Thought maybe others could relate. | 2021-11-22T02:47:40.000Z | qzb5ib | 15 | 47 | ADHD | Managing my life with ADHD is like trying to do a 4,000 piece Lego project in zero gravity | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzb5ib/managing_my_life_with_adhd_is_like_trying_to_do_a/ |
Boiyouknow | [removed] | 2021-11-22T02:44:27.000Z | qzb3bz | 4 | 2 | ADHD | Please any help | 0.75 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzb3bz/please_any_help/ |
Dalthanes | Anyone else feel like they're lost in life? I mean, don't really have a dream or a passion anymore, and are just living day by day for the sole purpose of survival.
I (29m) have ADHD-I (was diagnosed at 13) and chronic depression. For years I thought I knew what I was going to do with my life. Took a little longer with my degree, but easily could have had high 80s, if I had just done the 20% participation work (do readings and weekly write ups). I found busy work like that monotonous, and couldn't find the motivation. I had planned for a master's degree. I found a way around my grades, by starting a second degree, but dropped out. I was burnt out and disillusioned with academia, I could barely get up in the morning, and all I thought about was how I've ruined my life. I went off for a year and did a post-grad certificate, in such a niche field that has so few jobs. Haven't broken into the field yet.
I'm back working a dead end job, hoping it's only temporary until I can get into a career path. I feel like all I'm doing is surviving and not thriving. I don't know what I'm passionate about anymore and I don't think I have a dream for myself anymore. The existential dread, COVID stress (which also put the recruitment for the field I'm trying to get into on hold), finances (student loan payments, increasing rent, increasing food costs), unaffordable housing market, etc is getting to me and makes me regret the majority of my decisions.
I'm sorry, I just needed to share. | 2021-11-22T02:35:40.000Z | qzaxhb | 4 | 6 | ADHD | Feeling lost in life | 0.88 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzaxhb/feeling_lost_in_life/ |
Rockin_Otter | The title kind of tells the story, but after talking to my psychiatrist today, he told me results from my psychologist and neuropsychologist said I didn't have ADHD because I had done well on their stupid paper tests and previous trials on ritalin and dexamphetamine didn't have much effect on me. Because of this, my psychiatrist said he can't prescribe me anything at the moment. After goddamn months of forgetting to book appointments and forgetting appointments and struggling I get told "nah you're fine". I was told maybe all my problems were just "tied to anxiety and social anxiety" and I just need to "work on exercise and CBT and meditation". Like, piss off it's not like I tried all those for YEARS or anything. If they just observed how horribly I struggle in my daily life instead of basing it all on one stupid test they'd say in a heartbeat I have the disorder.
I don't know what to do anymore, I'm totally motivated to do things, I have hopes and dreams, my mood can be good, but when I want to try to accomplish anything I just can't think about it or focus on it. I felt like getting medicated was the final step to fucking DOING something with my life but now I'm being refused it, I feel like I might as well die since I'm never going to accomplish anything like this. | 2021-11-22T02:35:40.000Z | qzaxh5 | 8 | 9 | ADHD | Neuropsych and psychologist both said I don't have ADHD, so now I can't be prescribed anything and I feel like my life is completely over now. | 0.91 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzaxh5/neuropsych_and_psychologist_both_said_i_dont_have/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-22T02:32:47.000Z | qzavin | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Anyone else feel like they're lost in life? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzavin/anyone_else_feel_like_theyre_lost_in_life/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-22T02:30:49.000Z | qzau60 | 3 | 1 | ADHD | Sensory overload | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzau60/sensory_overload/ |
sav3434 | [removed] | 2021-11-22T02:30:36.000Z | qzau0s | 1 | 1 | ADHD | How to deal with the crash | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzau0s/how_to_deal_with_the_crash/ |
No_Entertainer_8376 | Hi guys,
I started taking Vyvanse 30mg(for a two week trial) a month and a half ago. My doctor raised my prescription to 40mg(for another two weeks) and now I am at 50mg(40 when I wake up and 10 in evening) and think that I will stay at 50mg. I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years back with an qEEG brain scan and recently decided to try medication after realizing that I was holding myself back in life. Vyvanse has worked well and I am very happy with the results. 40mg was an efficacious dose for me but I found that it wasn't lasting as long(only6-7hrs), so I am now doing an extra 10mg in the early evening. I am a 185lb 20 yr male in university and I am very active. I play a sport at a very high level and train every day(running, weights, skills, sport specific, etc) and at first I was out of breath while competing intensely on Vyvanse but this issue has subsided. Additionally, I have always been a big caffeine guy but since I started taking Vyvanse I don't need it nearly as much. I only really use caffeine before the gym or if I am really tired as it's impossible for me to do work/school with that much dopamine. Also, I have since quit taking Vitamin D in the morning as I saw on here that it blocks the effectiveness of Vyvanse. If I took it at night would that be fine? I have always had big aspirations in life but have been held back by my ADHD(Inattentive) which makes me have no energy and zone out 24/7. I now have more energy but find myself going down wormholes for hours(I am learning new two languages currently lmao). Wormholes have always been an issue but now that I have the focus to do things I was wondering what strategies you guys use to prioritize important tasks? I am a big list and planners guy(both work well for me) ,but put off doing the big tasks and instead complete every small task as soon as possible(before I didn't get anything done, now I get a lot of little things done but avoid the big things). Vyvanse is working well but I have years of bad habits to break and I think it will take time to tackle them. I have already noticed that Vyvanse has altered my habits and I notice it even on the days where I don't take the medication. I find that I can talk for hours when on Vyvanse yet I think I might be a little more antisocial. I am an introvert yet talkative so the drug only amplifies who I am. Additionally, Vyvanse has made me more motivated which has made me less tolerant to things/people/behaviour that doesn't benefit me. I should mention that I am pursuing Psychology in University so to begin with I am very introspective. I heard that Vyvanse has negative impact on the heart and speeds up aging but is this something I should even think about considering my activity level and healthy lifestyle? Also, if there are any other athletes out there do you find that you have an increased performance on Vyvanse(interested in hearing opinions)? I apologize if this is a long post but I want to stupid with my health. The questions are posted below. Lastly, the medication is working very well for me and my issues are not major, just looking to educate myself better.
**Questions**
Can you take Vitamin d(or other acidic foods) at night?
What strategies you guys use to prioritize important tasks and avoid wormholes?
How do you best break ADHD habits?
Has Vyvanse made you obsessed with self-improvement and or made you antisocial?
Does Vyvanse age the heart and body or is it just correlational?
Any athletes want to share their opinions? | 2021-11-22T02:24:27.000Z | qzaq0o | 4 | 1 | ADHD | TL'DR Help managing Vyvanse & ADHD | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzaq0o/tldr_help_managing_vyvanse_adhd/ |
Redd_frey | I recently got diagnosed and a lot of relief came with it. I am, however, worried that I shared it with too many people and that it will somehow come back to bite me: either when it comes to job prospects, how people perceive my reliability/intelligence/who I am as a person.
I am curious whether you have had similar experiences and how you reframe it to cause less anxiety. | 2021-11-22T02:07:24.000Z | qzaer4 | 10 | 5 | ADHD | Overshared about my ADHD, regretting it in retrospective | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzaer4/overshared_about_my_adhd_regretting_it_in/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-22T02:05:56.000Z | qzadrk | 7 | 25 | ADHD | Always do well on tests/assignments but forget everything 2 weeks later | 0.96 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzadrk/always_do_well_on_testsassignments_but_forget/ |
AnnoyingKidInClass | I'm very bad at starting and maintaining relationships. Currently, there's a guy who is interested in me. And I'm kind of interested in him too. But due to my ADHD, I kept talking without filters, blurting out random stuff, and being too straightforward. He disagreed with some things I've said and I think I kind of hurt his feelings...
At first, I was going to mask myself but decided not to because I wanted to see whether this guy will be able to tolerate me. Most of the time if I show my true self to others, people don't really like it and they will stray away from me.
I'm very inexperienced with dating and all these. When do you guys think it's the right time to tell someone that you have ADHD? And how do I even start? | 2021-11-22T02:04:30.000Z | qzacqz | 13 | 4 | ADHD | When do you tell a potential date that you have ADHD? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qzacqz/when_do_you_tell_a_potential_date_that_you_have/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-22T02:00:19.000Z | qza9rg | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Adhd symptoms | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qza9rg/adhd_symptoms/ |
BubblyBloobber | Something another user posted about ruminating and anxiety made me realize something.
So I recently got diagnosed and started medication, yada yada, all that fun stuff.
Before then, I'd have trouble winding down for sleep because ruminating -> general feeling of anxiousness and like I did something wrong, and I'd quiet those down by listening to music or a podcast, you know, something else to focus the mind on.
The first month and a half of meds, I've been sleeping a lot better, like falling asleep much sooner after I close my eyes instead of thinking about everything and anything.
The past couple of weeks though, I've been feeling a general sense of anxiousness as the meds start wearing off, and I haven't been able to figure out why.
But I'm now wondering if it's because the meds have quieted down those overthinking thoughts consciously, but subconsciously, they're still there so I'm aware that I'm feeling anxious but I don't know why exactly because the meds are "hiding" those thoughts.
Anyone have similar experiences? | 2021-11-22T01:59:19.000Z | qza90j | 3 | 2 | ADHD | Meds Quieting Conscious Thoughts, Leading to Anxiety Without Knowing Why | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qza90j/meds_quieting_conscious_thoughts_leading_to/ |
4reignCat | [removed] | 2021-11-22T01:58:39.000Z | qza8lb | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Relationships | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qza8lb/relationships/ |
play-jaja | I'm a PhD student. I participated in a virtual competition this morning, I have a proposal due tomorrow at midnight, and I have to present a seminar to my entire graduate department tomorrow. On top of that, I also have an experiment that I have to get to on Tuesday, and if I don't get to it, it WILL screw up my study. The experiment is about a 2.5 hour drive away, and starts at 7am, which means I have to leave either Monday night, when the paper will be due, or absurdly early Tuesday morning, which also isn't ideal.
I went to pick up a couple groceries when the competition was over, feeling good, planning to work on my paper once I got back, and my car broke down on the way. So I broke down. Because instead of picking up the groceries I needed, I was sitting in my useless car waiting for a tow truck while my brain spiralled as I realized I wouldn't be able to get to my experiment because I won't have my car. And then how this is time I need to be spending on my proposal because I wouldn't have time tomorrow due to the seminar and the drive, but that I couldn't work on my proposal because I was stuck waiting in below freezing temperatures for a tow truck. And then because the tow truck alone would cost more than I could afford, so how on earth was I gonna pay for repairs? And then my mom tried to help me talk out the problem, but I absolutely hate people seeing or hearing me cry, so on top of the overwhelming anxiety and panic setting it, I was also feeling humiliated because my mom was witnessing it. And then I impulsively hung up on her because it became clear that if my car problems were serious enough, I would not make it home for Thanksgiving, and they were not willing to come out to see me. So then my dad angrily texted me to call her back once I calmed down, which I still haven't done, because even though I've been calm now for hours, I still don't want to talk about it.
And I know now that I overreacted. I knew it as it was happening that I was overreacting. I was wiping the tears off my face getting even more frustrated with myself because I knew I shouldn't be so upset. That I'm an adult and I should be able to handle stress better. I think that's the worst part, being aware even as it's happening that I should be doing better than I'm doing. But now I'm just exhausted and I'm dreading doing any of the things I need to do tonight and I wish my ADHD brain would just handle my emotions for once. | 2021-11-22T01:57:26.000Z | qza7s9 | 13 | 100 | ADHD | Emotional dysregulation is just the worst | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qza7s9/emotional_dysregulation_is_just_the_worst/ |
spiderpuppy_ | My youngest cat can be a shithead, but I love him to death. He likes to zoom around the place at all hours and be a normal kitten/teen cat which I have nothing against, but he screws with his water bowl which just sets something off in my brain.
I don't know what it is, but when he paws at the bowl getting water everywhere it just sets me off. It's not on the first time I lose it or even the second or third. HE DOES IT ALL DAY EVERYDAY when he isn't getting the attention he wants (which is all the time because he was a covid kitten). The pawing starts as just a mild annoyance, but then it quickly escalates to my eye twitching in anger and frustration. This leads us to tonight where I lost it at him and just got mad yelling at him. I kind of harshly put him in a purrito and kept him there for a minute or so.
Once I let him out and he had hopped away a bit, he came back over, nuzzled my chin and I was just overcome with intense guilt and started bawling for even being angry at him in the first place because he's just a cat and doesn't know that what he's doing is damaging things. I can't be mad at him for that! On top of that is the guilt of lashing out at basically nothing when I could have just dealt with it calmly... Like this isn't regular guilt, but like crushing "oh my god I've done something horrible to another living being" guilt.
What can be done to avoid this because I feel like absolute crap whenever I flip out. It's not even sustained anger, but just a hot temper out of nowhere then it's like a switch flips and I'm immediately at guilt for being angry at all (even when angry over things other than the cat). Thanks guys in advance! | 2021-11-22T01:52:25.000Z | qza4m1 | 16 | 11 | ADHD | I felt guilty to the point of tears after getting angry with my cat... | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qza4m1/i_felt_guilty_to_the_point_of_tears_after_getting/ |
nturner2468 | [removed] | 2021-11-22T01:48:11.000Z | qza1ru | 6 | 2 | ADHD | After 3 years of vyvanse I’m done | 0.75 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qza1ru/after_3_years_of_vyvanse_im_done/ |
xjakob145 | Just so to put this into some context, I'm a 22 year old guy whose first language is not English and who typed this on mobile.
I don't this is not an uncommon topic here, but I'm getting desperate.
Just as a note, I live somewhere (Quebec, Canada) schooling is not all that expensive (college, which offers pre-university routes [2 years] and technical routes [3 years] costs around $200/semester and university costs around $2500/semester.
Out of high school, I went to a scoail science pre-university program (we can't go straight to uni, I can detail the school system if you want me to) and wanted to join the navy as a hull technician/marine technician (it changed name as I applied, and unlike a hull tech, a marine tech mostly takes care of the machinery), but due to my medical, I couldn't get in.
So I went to university in a Teching English as Second Language peogramme (which takes 4 years, and most bachelor's here are only 3-year long). But after the first semester of my third year, during my second intership, shit hit the fan. I couldn't keep up with the planning, especially combined with my part-time job.
I quit the programme as I felt I wouldn't like living like this (always planning).
I quickly looked at other programmes and saw Marine Engineering, which is a technical program (but also takes 4 years because of specific regulations, in other provinces it is considered a bachelor's degree). I thought I would like working with my hands ajd wouldn't mind being gone 6 months a year. So I moved 500 km away (310 miles). I lived in dorms for a bit and then moved to an apartment with a roomate.
But I am finding I don't quite like it. The noise in our workshop classes kills me (any hammering or metal-on-metal), my brain doesn't analyse mechanical principles the same way others do.
I've been lucky thus far that my parents have paid for most of my education. But I think I need to come back home.
I'm tired. I also stopped antidepressants recently, whoch certainly doesn't help.
I feel like i'm trapped. I feel bad for wasting my parents' money. Coming back home would imply finding an apartment somewhere more expensive. And move, which would be pretty expensive now that I have a bed to move back.
Find a new career? I'm scared that if I go back full-time to my old job, I'll just stay there forever (retail), and while I liked it and money can be good in management positions, I don't see myself doing that.
I've alwayd been social and interested by medical things. I've been thinking about diagnostic imaging technology. But I don't want to make the same mistake I did last time and get into a new program too fast without thinking about the implications.
I'm trans and started my transition as a teen. I feel that while people were finding their identity, I wad focusing on my gender identity and never "fully formed". I feel like my ADHD brain makes it harder to reflect on long term goals.
Sorry about the brain dump that this is. I don't know if it makes any sense. I'm just selfishely hoping that other people have been through similar things.
Oh, and I've sought some help. I have an appintment after school tomorrow with the school's social worker, but I forgot I had an appointment right after so it will be cut short, lol. | 2021-11-22T01:45:53.000Z | qza09z | 1 | 2 | ADHD | Career confusion | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qza09z/career_confusion/ |
[deleted] | I’m 21F and semi recently found out I probably have ADHD my therapist says I likely have it and a therapist in the past as well but my parents blew them off and so did I deny it because of not knowing about hyperfocus and good grades in school. But recently My moms sister got diagnosed so she went from not really believing it existed to realizing hyper focus exists and then just asked if I thought I had it and was like my therapist dude did say that. And we just kind of left medication as an on the table if I start to have trouble with school. My dad still doesn’t seem to be out of the it’s mostly for normal procrastination and humans not being meant to be as still as society expects us View.
Like Im Doing good in school. Did good in grade school by coasting off of intelligence. And dI’ve not seeming intentionally disruptive got a pass on doodling and fidgeting. Flunked my first semester of college but now doing alright with the system And habits I managed to set up to self study art In the gap. But I feel like a minmaxed game character and when I have to face nonschool non art stuff I’m the min maxed wizard in melee with orcs. And my sisters been quite sick lately so my parents are getting more and more exasperated with my problems preparing food, paying attention while doing mundane tasks leading to mistakes, trouble with paperwork and appointments. Also my energy level is Always to high and my mom finds it really draining. And personally I’m just getting more self conscious about the interrupting thing because I know it’s rude but like 1 second or 2 of silence feels like a gap to talk but apparently it isn’t And I just lose my head and talk to much if I’m not nervous around the people I’m talking to. And I want to learn to drive so I don’t have to feel like a burden by mooching rides off my friends and family. But I’m scared that I’ll zone out like when I go for walks or am on my bike except on the actual street. Also really bad public transit here so its getting more and more mandatory. Sort of hoping the high stakes will make me focus. Also worried about ability to stand still at a job sittings actually easier because at least I don’t Have to put effort into staying in one location. Idk it’s just getting harder to laugh it off the further behind I feel And the more tension with parents over it.
On the flip side I’m scared I won’t be me anymore if I took meds. Like most importantly what if it made me less creative. But also what if they made me less light hearted and more of a stern serious cog in the machine type. Or like my mom a compulsive cleaner. Or that they will suck up my excitement and energy and make me lazy. Or what if I just didn’t have it and am just a lazy neurotic person and they just mess me up. | 2021-11-22T01:45:20.000Z | qz9zyn | 6 | 1 | ADHD | I’m afraid treatment would change me to much but I’m also tired of feeling like a nuisance. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9zyn/im_afraid_treatment_would_change_me_to_much_but/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-22T01:45:12.000Z | qz9zvg | 9 | 3 | ADHD | My step daughter probably has adhd - how can I help her in her day to day life? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9zvg/my_step_daughter_probably_has_adhd_how_can_i_help/ |
kitohdzz | It took me months to learn how to meditate and be good at it, but now I almost never do it anymore even if I want to I keep finding excuses not to do it.
Now it's become really hard for me and the fact i'm still getting used to the medication its only making it harder.
I don't like this because I knew it really helped me, but as always I stopped finding it interesting after a while. It really is something I want to keep doing everyday if i can | 2021-11-22T01:44:02.000Z | qz9z4z | 18 | 2 | ADHD | Do you meditate and do you have any tips? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9z4z/do_you_meditate_and_do_you_have_any_tips/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-22T01:43:35.000Z | qz9yvh | 4 | 1 | ADHD | Adderall vs Vyvanse | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9yvh/adderall_vs_vyvanse/ |
goatmna | [removed] | 2021-11-22T01:42:23.000Z | qz9y3y | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Deep clean | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9y3y/deep_clean/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-22T01:40:23.000Z | qz9wtp | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Do you meditate and do you have any tips? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9wtp/do_you_meditate_and_do_you_have_any_tips/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-22T01:39:13.000Z | qz9w07 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Got diagnosed with ADHD and now my employer won't let me work. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9w07/got_diagnosed_with_adhd_and_now_my_employer_wont/ |
Negative-Joke-7174 | So this is the 3th or 4th time that i'm taking adderall ir (around 2weeks break inbetween, not every day)
self medicating although i have my diagnosis appointment in around 2 weeks (been waiting months, finally)
​
i'm 19 and been out of focus pretty much my entire life
everything that comes with adhd, the lack of focus, lack of motivation, feeling completely useless
depressed because things that seem simple to other people, seem like a mountain to me
i've never been the type to self pity so i always kept it for myself, trying to progress in life even though my mind always fought against me
​
but when i'm on adderall, i love myself for the first time
i get urges to be more socially active, i have empathy towards people (when before this, i pretty much gave no fucks about anything.) it's not that i only cared about myself, it's just that i didn't see myself as human that is capable of a range of emotions
​
on adderall this is so different. i realize i might have passions which i want to go after, i realize i might not be as useless as i thought i am
i realize there is more to life than waking up feeling dread every single morning
​
i realize that maybe, being alive is a gift and not a curse
​
i have no idea if this post is even allowed here but i just had to let it out.
​
adderall also wears off after 4 hours and then i'm back to my usual self, which kills me inside
but im hoping when i get my diagnosis i could ask for vyanese maybe or more doses of adderall throughout the day to last me longer. just the fact that i CAN feel like this, means the world to me
​
English is not my first language, i apologize for the many mistakes here. i love you all and wish every single one guy / girl here a happy and fulfilling life. life can be good, i am sure of it | 2021-11-22T01:27:33.000Z | qz9o7e | 1 | 7 | ADHD | adderall makes me want to cry right now | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9o7e/adderall_makes_me_want_to_cry_right_now/ |
Beachqueen18 | I was diagnosed two months ago at 23 years old. I've been diagnosed with every other mental illness you can think of over the past 6 years. Based on my response to treatment, I know they finally got it right. I'm calmer, less irritable and impulsive, more in control of my emotions than I've ever been, not easily angered, not getting tired throughout the day, and more motivated and focused to do basic tasks like chores, errands, and schoolwork. Even my family has noticed how different I've become for the better.
I'd love to hear everybody's stories and experiences. When were you diagnosed? What helps you manage your symptoms? How does ADHD impact you? | 2021-11-22T01:20:16.000Z | qz9jew | 2 | 2 | ADHD | What are your experiences with ADHD? | 0.75 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9jew/what_are_your_experiences_with_adhd/ |
Tjd_uk | My entire life I've been called stubborn, selfish, defiant, and defensive. I suppose I can be at times, but it's because I'm kinda fed up of parents, teachers and bosses telling me I need to do things like they do. My brain works differently and as a result I have a different method of organising, arranging and planning to what I suppose is the neurotypical way.
As a kid my parents would tell me to tidy my room; I'd basically just throw everything I didn't use out of sight into a cupboard and then tidy and group all the things I did use. Of course then my parents would inspect and tell me I need to do it properly and put x here and x there... I'd get frustrated by this as in my mind it was my bedroom, I'm the one who uses it, I'm happy with how I've tidied it. I can see why this might seem selfish, but to me it just didn't make sense that I'd have to arrange things in the way of somebody who doesn't even spend any time in my room.
Now I'm at work in a job that requires a lot of organisation and tidying, and inevitably my boss and I clash over this because I like to work in my own way. He's called me defensive and stubborn a lot because he'll tell me that something I've done is messy or silly, and I'll try and explain why it makes sense to me and that I want to continue that way. For example;
In my job I have to check in camera equipment and it often comes back with loads of colourful tape on it. I would take this tape off and put it along the front edge of my desk as it meant I could just put it there whilst working and not have to take my attention off what I was doing. I'd let it build up until eventually taking it all off at once and throwing it in the bin.
Now my boss once told me off for doing this, saying it was messy and I should just get up and put the tape straight in the bin like "normal people do". I stood my ground saying I just like to do it this way and don't like the interruption in my workflow of having to get up and walk over to a bin every time I take a piece of tape off. I'd rather just put it on the desk and do it all in one go. He continued to tell me I'm being silly and that I need to stop sticking it to my desk.
Don't get me wrong, I'm always open to advice, opinions and trying new methods...But idk, I guess I just don't like when other people try and enforce their way of working onto me when more often than not it's hard for my brain to do. Everyday life is already difficult enough for my brain, I don't need to make things even harder by going against the one way it actually does work. | 2021-11-22T01:18:10.000Z | qz9i04 | 16 | 49 | ADHD | I'm not trying to be stubborn, I just don't like being made to do things in ways that I find incompatible with my brain. | 0.98 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9i04/im_not_trying_to_be_stubborn_i_just_dont_like/ |
Redd_frey |
I got recently diagnosed with ADHD and I am navigating how much I am willing to disclose in more official settings.
I am curious whether you choose to disclose your ADHD when they ask for 'disabilities' on applications. What are your positive and negative experiences with disclosing your ADHD in official professional settings? Have you ever asked for accommodations?
I know that there is the Disabilities Act companies are abiding by but I am curious to hear from people in big tech and finance whether this is also the case in practice. Do you feel it has harmed your chances to get a job or internship or that you were treated differently?
Thanks! | 2021-11-22T01:09:56.000Z | qz9cfg | 5 | 1 | ADHD | Big tech / finance job and internship applications: Do you disclose your ADHD? | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9cfg/big_tech_finance_job_and_internship_applications/ |
bromprom | I just got prescribed adderall XR and my starting dosage is 20mg which seemed unusually high to me. I’ve heard of people starting on 10-15mg usually? Maybe I’m wrong.
My doctor didn’t really seem to know anything about adhd as I gathered from my appointment with her. Shes a bit unprofessional and relatively new, I think.
Is it okay to start on 20mg? should i say something? | 2021-11-22T01:06:35.000Z | qz9a80 | 7 | 1 | ADHD | Is a 20mg starting dose of Adderall XR normal? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz9a80/is_a_20mg_starting_dose_of_adderall_xr_normal/ |
nunyabusiness_69 | I’m in my 4th or 5th month of volunteering at the most AMAZING animal rescue ( unnamed for obvious reasons ) I love it ! I feel so happy.
Look, I’m a spaz and it’s not easy having ADHD and PTSD. At 45 years old I’m still learning how to manage my impulses and emotions.
I was feeling very discouraged because everything that was obvious to everyone was not obvious to me and vice versa. When I would get involved in group activities my energy really can be challenging for a lot of people.
The harder I tried the worse it got until I gave up and decided it was better to disappear because trying was just weird for everyone involved ( myself included )
The majority of my life my ADHD made me feel like a moving target. Time is so weird for me and it moves fast when I want it to move slow and it moves slow when I want it to go fast.
I tried and tried to be social but eventually I just stopped trying until I discovered yoga. Once I started yoga I began to relax and once I could relax I started searching for a place to volunteer my good intentions. I only got diagnosed last year but that’s a different story.
Now I’m on the precipice of 4 or 5 months at this place. I feel so happy. I love the people who I volunteer with. For the most part I love the people who visit. The animals are so cute. The nights before I volunteer are the hardest to fall asleep because I’m so excited.
I love arriving and walking past the cows, horses, donkeys, pigs, sheep’s, goats, turkeys ( they have 170 different types of animals )
All rescued from slaughter houses and other abusive situation. The ones from the slaughterhouses are all genetically modified.
This means the cows weigh 3,000 pounds instead of the 1,000 pounds like they should weigh.
It’s hard for them them to function because of their genetic modifications and therefore they require lots of assistance with the most mundane activities.
I’m sharing my experience with the hope of encouraging my fellow ADHD friends to look into the animal sanctuaries around you.
It’s beautiful out in nature. It helps in ways I cannot describe. I think between the exercises, the volunteer work and just overall mindfulness I’ve found a contentment that has eluded me for the majority of my life and I thought it might be useful to someone else’s journey ☺️ | 2021-11-22T01:06:12.000Z | qz99yl | 1 | 4 | ADHD | Volunteering with traumatized animals has been the best thing for my healing journey | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz99yl/volunteering_with_traumatized_animals_has_been/ |
SodiumBro | As someone with ADHD, I've always found it difficult to wind down and relax, even if I'm not doing anything at the moment. People have always suggested meditation, but -- and I'm sure many of you can relate -- it was almost impossible for me to "turn off my thoughts" as my mind is normally racing through disconnected streams of thought at a mile a minute.
Fast forward to around a month ago, I came across ambient drone music on my Youtube music suggestions, and it has honestly helped me wind down and clear my thoughts so much. To me, it is like the perfect combination of both stimulating and soothing sounds, and it really helps to almost "flush out" the racing thoughts.
I know this is extremely anecdotal and I'm not sure if this has helped anyone else out, but in the off chance that someone else tries it and it works, it's worth sharing my experience.
Two recommended artists that I've really enjoyed so far: Thomas Koner and Sleep Research Facility.
Hope this might help someone else out there! | 2021-11-22T01:03:31.000Z | qz983c | 3 | 3 | ADHD | Ambient Drone music has been a recent blessing for me | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz983c/ambient_drone_music_has_been_a_recent_blessing/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-22T00:58:49.000Z | qz94q7 | 6 | 4 | ADHD | Should I disclose my ADHD diagnosis with my boss? | 0.75 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz94q7/should_i_disclose_my_adhd_diagnosis_with_my_boss/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-22T00:58:22.000Z | qz94et | 1 | 1 | ADHD | RE focalin xr and concerta | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz94et/re_focalin_xr_and_concerta/ |
Monkwater | My fiancee was the love of my life we had no choice and suddenly separated. Sadlywe will never be able to speak with each other in person only occasional letter every couple months. but that's over. A LOT of VERY BAD THINGS came up in the last month that have happened between us. A lot I can't speak to anyone else about which are most the problems. I had to wrap my head around everything and became able to accept it all. I will never speak of with anyone and take it to the grave. I adjusted my Dexedrine dose from 50 to 60 mg daily because the last 10mg made me feel annoyed and unpleasant. The 20mg 3x a day is the best for my ADHD. It gives me an appetite and helps me sleep well when I take it. 2 seperate days I took 80mg total over an 18 hour day when I got her two letters I couldn't sleep from her letters I had to work through a lot inside to even open it. I was able to work through all the pain and ALL OF THE THINGS that have made me very, very depressed, Seeping 12+ hours a day, I stopped crying myself to sleep nightly, Streas and depressed eating and almost in tears all day. It helped me to work past that, fix the damage it caused me and move on. I cannot talk to anyone else but her about it. It goes to the grave with us both. If my doctor could only understand how I worked avoided having a TOTAL NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. I think it would have gotten much worse. Causing more of a depressed downward spiral and not being able to get past everything and move on. Can I tell all this to my doctor?? He just changed me from 30mg to 50mg Dexedrine IR a day... 60mg is what work's for me the Best daily!!
I'm ashamed but my mother can vouch my ADHD is horrible and worsened growing up and meds are a nessicary for me and to live in her house. Plus how horrible I am without them | 2021-11-22T00:54:23.000Z | qz91r7 | 6 | 2 | ADHD | Talking to doctor about dose increase | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz91r7/talking_to_doctor_about_dose_increase/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-22T00:53:13.000Z | qz90z2 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Talking to my doctor about dose increase. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz90z2/talking_to_my_doctor_about_dose_increase/ |
1800_evil_hag | hi all,
​
So I (24f) recently got diagnosed with ADHD combined type and got put on 20mg of Vyvanse and 150mg of catapres to help me sleep, which I've been taking for roughly two weeks.
​
* **I've noticed a couple of things while on this dosage and I was wondering if anyone else experienced the same things I have while starting on Vyvanse.**
* **The first day** on it I felt really jittery for the first two hours like I had drank too much coffee, but since then I don't get that jittery feeling unless I drink more than one cup of coffee, or I forget to drink enough water or eat.
* **Overall** I've felt that for the first half of the day **I feel slightly more focused and motivated** and I manage to smash out at least one task I need to do and then, that's about it for the day.
* **Then comes the afternoon, between 2pm-4pm I experience a massive crash.** I'm so exhausted its basically impossible to think straight and I want to nap.
* **Pre-medicated I never really experienced afternoon crashes to that extent.** I definitely am less productive in this time period, but I am usually no more tired than I usually am, unless of course I've had a massively busy day.
* **Something I've found particularly odd** is that during this period when I crash, and then for the rest of the day, **I tend to really notice my ADHD symptoms.** I can't seem to focus or concentrate on tasks at hand, struggle to follow conversations, cut people off in conversation and change topics, tap incessantly and get songs or phrases stuck in loop in my head
* **I know medication is not miracle 'cure' for symptoms but I don't think that I would be experiencing this if my medication was higher or I potentially had a second afternoon dose to get me through the day?**
* **I don't know if its just a coincidence** that I'm noticing my symptoms more because I'm recently diagnosed and its all that I think about, **or if my symptoms are actually getting worse when the Vyvanse wears off?**
* **The thing that's really annoying** is that psychiatrist that diagnosed me told me I'll be able to tell within a week or so whether or not I'm on the right dosage. Within a couple of days I've come to the conclusion that 20mg is probably not a high enough dosage for me. So after a week I saw my doctor and told them I want to try 30mg. She told me that she needs to get a permit to prescribe me first and since she's so booked out I have to wait three weeks until I can try the higher dosage.
* thank god I don't have Uni right now as I wouldn't have the luxury of completely screwing up my days with these afternoon crashes.
**For context I also take 50mg Pristiq daily so this might also be hindering the effectiveness of the medication.** | 2021-11-22T00:50:01.000Z | qz8ytf | 22 | 12 | ADHD | Vyvanse experience?? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8ytf/vyvanse_experience/ |
LengthinessEarly920 | [removed] | 2021-11-22T00:45:29.000Z | qz8vq1 | 17 | 2 | ADHD | I, sadly, caused my ex girlfriend to have a meltdown today | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8vq1/i_sadly_caused_my_ex_girlfriend_to_have_a/ |
VariousFoxes | I was told my ADHD medication was not in my insurance provider's "preferred" medications and that I'd have to some sort of letter from my psyquiatrist or switch to another medicine treating the same thing. Hopefully it's not a hassle but this all still makes me nervous.
I've been waiting for a long time to get treated and I'm afraid I'll end up with something that doesn't work. I've tried many medications before and my current medication has worked for me in the past. I know that there are stigma's around ADHD medicine, especially stimulants, so I guess I'm more worried about my insurance not accepting any medicine and not being able to be treated at all. | 2021-11-22T00:42:39.000Z | qz8tsj | 16 | 3 | ADHD | Will I lose my medication? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8tsj/will_i_lose_my_medication/ |
notababyimatumor | I feel like I’m not accomplishing more than the bare minimum and some days less than that. I’m on adderall and meds for anxiety/depression. I make lists of things I need to do so I don’t forget my tasks but then I never do any of the tasks or just lay around wanting to do them and don’t get anything done. I never finish projects I’m working on and it’s a cycle of self disappointment.
At this point besides extensive therapy - which I want but getting can be difficult and expensive - the only think I could possibly help improve myself and help me achieve what I want for myself is an accountability buddy or buddies as a support net. I have no idea where to find people who have similar goals but would have the perspective that the support isn’t personally judgmental but meant in the spirit of seeing someone succeed in the way they determine success to be for themselves. | 2021-11-22T00:30:55.000Z | qz8lmi | 4 | 2 | ADHD | Where do you find accountability buddies / partners? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8lmi/where_do_you_find_accountability_buddies_partners/ |
Dummy_addict14 | [removed] | 2021-11-22T00:30:02.000Z | qz8kxa | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Ahdhd issue series part one: art of distraction | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8kxa/ahdhd_issue_series_part_one_art_of_distraction/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-22T00:29:45.000Z | qz8kpw | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Vyvanse irritability | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8kpw/vyvanse_irritability/ |
large-Marge-incharge | What kind of accommodations do you need with your ADHD.
-I grew up in the rural south and always knew I had ADHD but my parents “didn’t want me to be different” so they pretended like I didn’t have it. (Lots of trauma from that) anyways, I am in college and have been diagnosed and am on medicine which helps so much. However as I’m sure you know it isn’t magical and I still struggle with things.
That being said I’ve never considered asking for help but I’m still struggling a bit and wonder what sort of accommodations are appropriate to ask for? | 2021-11-22T00:25:54.000Z | qz8i34 | 2 | 1 | ADHD | Accommodations. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8i34/accommodations/ |
theunknowncompanion | I feel like my brain is constantly going a million miles an hour, even when I’m physically exhausted.
I’ve got pretty bad anxiety as well which doesn’t help! Lately, I feel like I can’t switch my brain off, even when sleeping (I get maybe a few hours of dreams) and then back to normal programming… it’s quite exhausting and I’d just like to be able to chill out and slow down sometimes.
I used to be able to relax so I’m not sure what has happened in the last couple of weeks…
Do I need exercise? Meditation? Something else? | 2021-11-22T00:24:13.000Z | qz8gx9 | 3 | 2 | ADHD | How do you switch off or calm down your brain? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8gx9/how_do_you_switch_off_or_calm_down_your_brain/ |
MelancholyMusing | TLDR: I need/want to do X so I'd rather do Y instead. How do I convince or force myself to do X?
29, F, USA
I've searched through some coping skills threads and I can't seem to find the advice or suggestion I'm searching for.
I'm not sure if it has something to do with a comorbid diagnosis or trauma but I struggle when I need to be doing a task/project/MY JOB I expressly want to be doing something else. Anything else.
Maybe its just simply the ADHD. I don't know. I'm thinking it might simply be burnout from my phone job (introvert) and from masking all day with customer service persona.
Even if it's something i love doing, I'll do something else instead.
Scenarios as examples:
- Need to do something at work like call a customer retention list?
I've got til the end of the month and I want a break from the phones. Lets research down a rabbit hole something I'm curious about. My brain just thought of something and suddenly I need to know everything about it.
- Supposed to be studying something so I can get a certification and switch careers?
Oh look it's Tomato Time (the 15 minute break earned after 45 minutes of productivity) these animal rescue videos are so heartwarming and wholesome I can't stop scrolling through them. Oh crap, I ignored the alarm and it's been an hour now....and now I can't get the momentum to start again.
Ooh, my cats could use attention.
- Really want to read one of my many self help books to find confidence and motivation?
Oh, look at all these chores I've been putting off. I've got to be manically productive and then I'll feel exhausted afterwards that I can't do anything else other than scroll through my phone.
- Bought a game I've been dying to play for months?
Eh, can't seem to find the obsessive drive that'll get me to pick it up and struggle to put it back down. Maybe if I can find something I want to avoid to motivate me to.
- In a school setting and I need to be paying attention,immersed in a topic, participating, or taking notes (but I won't take notes because I'll convince myself I know the topic or I'll simply remember, which I won't)?
Nope, I wanna read a book and escape to another world. Oh, or I feel like doodling today. Sudoku? Heck yeah. Ooh, I'm feeling a certain way and I want to express it with poetry.
Oh class? Naw, this is more interesting.
- Currently so obsessed with a hyperfixation that there's absolutely no way I'm giving anything else my attention today or else I'll lose the dopamine high I'm surfing?
Who needs to do work today? I'm having a good mental health streak I don't want to kill.
- Want to get re-obsessed with building my family tree again but I lost that momentum because I went on a forced family trip I got guilted into and now I can't get myself back on that fun hyperfixation train?
Nope, now I'm depressed from feeling guilty by not doing the thing that was giving me that rush of happy chemicals and now I'm just paralyzed on the couch doing literally nothing but being stuck in my head bullying myself for not being productive and being inable to get up.
EVEN WORSE: When I have a day off and all the free time I could ask for I still have this crippling paralysis to do anything. And after a long day of beating myself up, and then staying up late in bed just decompressing from all the stress I've caused myself I suddenly feel the urge to do things when I should be forcing myself to sleep because of work early the next morning.
How can I trick myself into doing the things I want or need to do? I can't wrap my head around this odd form of procrastination. I've been dealing with it for so long its become my normal and select people in my life don't understand, they think I'm just lazy or defiant.
I can't be the only person that faces this.
What are your tips and tricks to do the thing you truly want/need to do but can't seem to?
Is there a name for this so i can find further reading
Seriously, please help. | 2021-11-22T00:22:57.000Z | qz8g0r | 1 | 3 | ADHD | Procrastination: The Saga. Lazy? Defiant? Task avoidance advice needed. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8g0r/procrastination_the_saga_lazy_defiant_task/ |
what_a_friend | Tomorrow is my first day at work. I'm going to be working the first few days as a cashier. I'm really hoping and praying that I'm competent enough to get the job done. Social anxiety along with issues with executive function ... It's going to be an iffy day.
I haven't been able to get my medication yet so as of right now I'm taking natural snacks dopamine brain food.
I'm usually a super friendly person but my brain is constantly glitching. Whether its slurred/mumbled/jumbled speech or i miss social queues or if I just walk funny. My brain is always making these mistakes so thats what I'm most nervous about.
Last but not least I have attention issues. Gosh this might be the hardest part to overcome. The sensory overload might kill me.
What I find funny is that I was a recruit in the USMC and I did great in the military lol. I was discharged due to my medical records. I did perfectly fine in that environment but I can't work in a civilian world :(
I'm just venting here. Does anyone want to share their stories of their first day at work? | 2021-11-22T00:20:58.000Z | qz8enw | 1 | 1 | ADHD | First day of work tomorrow | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8enw/first_day_of_work_tomorrow/ |
Faux_bog | [removed] | 2021-11-22T00:15:21.000Z | qz8arh | 1 | 1 | ADHD | I was diagnosed with ADHD 6 + years ago... i have not been taking any medication. I want to but why does it feel like cheating if i want to ask my doctor about it | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz8arh/i_was_diagnosed_with_adhd_6_years_ago_i_have_not/ |
brainhack3r | I posted this rant on here about 6 months ago and it REALLY took off so I'm not the only one feeling the pain:
https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/nxroxa/rant_ive_been_on_adderall_for_5_years_now_stop/
I'm in Mexico right now and Adderall is illegal here, even with a prescription, so I have to go back to the US to get one.
Granted that I'm bringing up an international issue here but the issue is domestic too.
For example, I can't transfer my prescription to another pharmacy so I have to call my doc and SHE has to send it.
I think we need to organize and start collectively demand a bill of rights for those of us with ADHD.
I think we could pursue something like the following agenda. Honestly I'm just thinking out loud here and not really proposing anything solid.
- Collectively we agree there DO need to be realistic restrictions for Adderall / Ritalin and WE should take the lead here. This way we get the respect of others who have concerns about drug abuse and we're not just ignoring the issue. I think the fact that Ritalin/Adderall has become an abused and recreational drug, especially with students, is hurting us.
- We argue for a federal whitelist of people who have been on Adderall / Ritalin for +2 years so that we don't have to deal with all the insanity of the restrictions of adderall/ritalin.
- Make federal legislation standardization a priority so that per-state insanity can't screw us over.
- Long term I think it makes sense to push for international standardization so that if you have a legitimate prescription in the US you can't get arrested for going to Vietnam/Thailand/China/India when you have an actual prescription from a US doctor and you have <= 30 days.
- Ability to fill prescriptions when out of state. If you have a prescription in CO you should be able to get it filled in CA.
... anyway. Again this is just thinking out loud. | 2021-11-22T00:13:56.000Z | qz89t0 | 3 | 2 | ADHD | We need to start collectively lobbying for the rights of people with ADHD and stop letting politicians do so on our behalf. | 0.67 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz89t0/we_need_to_start_collectively_lobbying_for_the/ |
Terra246 | Hello all I’m a 20 something male. I’m on 100 mg of prisiq, 60 mg of bruspar, 10 mg of focolin and 1 mg of clonzopam. The most recent addition was the focolin, abs it helps a lot more with my depression than the other medicines. I just notice a problem on it, a problem I’ve had for awhile, I’m irritable. By this I mean, it’s easy to make me upset or anxious. Sometimes I hyper focus on this to the point that I annoy people by saying “I’m sorry” too many times. I know adhd affects the mind and emotional regulation. I was wondering if there was any medicine that is common adjunct to adhd medicine, and if there are any behavioral things I can do to help this. To note, I am in therapy, I mediate, do yoga, exercise and practice mindfulness. Also when I bring this up to my doctor, he just wants me to wait for the pristiq to fully kick in, which it has at this point and I don’t feel that much if a difference. I felt a difference right away with the focolin. So yeah any adjunct medicine or things I can do to help with my emotions? | 2021-11-22T00:06:55.000Z | qz84ro | 16 | 2 | ADHD | Adhd medicine and irritability | 0.75 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz84ro/adhd_medicine_and_irritability/ |
Unlucky_Actuator5612 | I have heard a lot of people use lists and alarms as ways to work around their executive dysfunction. Even the mention of them makes me feel anxious. I can write a list every few months maybe for something important I’m shopping for etc but daily lists and alarms for everything would make me hyper focus on them and be a shell of a person. Every time I try to be more disciplined and implement these sorts of things it feels like I have to change my whole personality and I just can’t even have any fun anymore. It’s so weird. Just wondering if anyone else feels like this because it seems helpful to many.
:Edit to add there was a time last year where for about 6 months I took away all my visible clocks in the house. Knowing the time gave me anxiety. I didn’t quite understand why I did this at the time but it was lovely living without clocks 😂 | 2021-11-22T00:04:36.000Z | qz834m | 3 | 2 | ADHD | Lists and alarms | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz834m/lists_and_alarms/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-22T00:02:15.000Z | qz81fa | 1 | 2 | ADHD | Any good audiobook recommendations about ADHD? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz81fa/any_good_audiobook_recommendations_about_adhd/ |
sparrowedjack | [removed] | 2021-11-22T00:00:56.000Z | qz80ea | 1 | 1 | ADHD | What is the best ADHD medication ? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz80ea/what_is_the_best_adhd_medication/ |
disorderedcontrol | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:59:54.000Z | qz7zc8 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Tips on switching my dopamine chase from food to something else? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7zc8/tips_on_switching_my_dopamine_chase_from_food_to/ |
Interesting_Ad_7093 | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:58:19.000Z | qz7y88 | 3 | 1 | ADHD | Elevated Heart Rate with a Heart Condition | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7y88/elevated_heart_rate_with_a_heart_condition/ |
Effective-Box-6822 | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:56:32.000Z | qz7wzs | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Metabolizing Adderrall quickly - ideas? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7wzs/metabolizing_adderrall_quickly_ideas/ |
pinksushi0530 | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:55:16.000Z | qz7w50 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Stimulants VS non stimulants? :) | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7w50/stimulants_vs_non_stimulants/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-21T23:51:31.000Z | qz7tkm | 2 | 1 | ADHD | I need some help controlling hyperfocus. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7tkm/i_need_some_help_controlling_hyperfocus/ |
Falconmcdonalds | So my whole life I've always been "hypersensitive" I find it extremely hard to deal with critism or making mistakes ... Any form of perceived failure results in a flood of tears.
I'm 23 years old and every single job I've worked in I've ended up breaking down at some point or another, it could be over the smallest of things and woosh like a waterfall it's mega embarrassing. Does anyone else have this issue and what are some ways to overcome it? I'm trying to build up more resilance to things in general and from a logical point of view I can see a situation in hindsight and acknowledge that it's no big deal but mannn when I'm in the heat of the moment I cannot help but just either explode, cry like a baby or both. | 2021-11-21T23:51:25.000Z | qz7thz | 2 | 4 | ADHD | Hypersensitivity/how to stop crying all the damn time ! | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7thz/hypersensitivityhow_to_stop_crying_all_the_damn/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:51:22.000Z | qz7tgg | 1 | 1 | ADHD | I love the ability to hyper focus on things. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7tgg/i_love_the_ability_to_hyper_focus_on_things/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-21T23:46:49.000Z | qz7q9n | 1 | 5 | ADHD | Do you ever feel like disconnecting from everything around you/what you do? My mind is constantly analyzing everything. What helps? | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7q9n/do_you_ever_feel_like_disconnecting_from/ |
crice2315 | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:43:16.000Z | qz7nr7 | 3 | 5 | ADHD | Do you guys experience the same symptoms I do? | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7nr7/do_you_guys_experience_the_same_symptoms_i_do/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-21T23:38:00.000Z | qz7jza | 1 | 3 | ADHD | Any adult diagnosed immigrants here? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7jza/any_adult_diagnosed_immigrants_here/ |
ConcentratingIsHard | It’s been an issue for me for quite a long time and I’m finally able to concentrate on 1 thing at a time. I start so many things and just never finished them and now it feels like I’m able to see it to completion. If you’re still considering or wondering why your attention span is so nonexistent, talk to a Dr about it. | 2021-11-21T23:37:37.000Z | qz7jpx | 6 | 2 | ADHD | Diagnosed finally | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7jpx/diagnosed_finally/ |
TonCharles90 | So had my very first Psychiatry appointment several weeks back. It went well enough. A little history before I get into the appointment itself, though. Recently came to the conclusion that a lot of my anxiety/depression might’ve been caused by my untreated ADHD. Specifically, inattentive ADHD. After a lot of hesitation, and mounds and mounds of anxiety, I finally scheduled my first appointment last month. As I mentioned, it went okay enough. There were a couple red flags that immediately popped up, though. He made it a point to explain to me that adults don’t generally get diagnosed with ADHD. Okay fine? But then continued on to inform me that ADHD is something that most adults “grow out of”. Okay thanks? I listened as best as I could, and tried not to take what he said personally, even though I quickly started feeling bad about it. After finally getting through my history, he mentions my options. It’s clear he wants to start me on Wellbutrin, but ultimately gives me the choice between that and stimulants(not before mentioning it’s essentially legal meth). His bias against stimulants is overwhelmingly clear at the point, but despite his attempts to convince me to try Wellbutrin, he gives me a 2-week prescription for Adderall.
Fast forward to my follow-up appointment this last Friday. The Adderall has been a god-send for me. I wouldn’t say it’s cured my ADHD by any means, but the clarity it’s given me has been unbelievable. It’s difficult to explain. For the first time in, well I don’t even know when, I could think clearly and actually initiate things that would otherwise take me weeks, if not months to start. It even managed to improve my overall disposition. I was so excited to share my news with him. Now before I get to our conversation, I did make a mistake and hadn’t gotten my urine test and lab work done yet. That was totally my fault. I started back at work for the first time in 3 weeks(I was home sick with covid), and just haven’t had time to fast yet. I fully planned to get it done this next week, though. So I get to my appointment and before I can explain anything he asks if I got the lab work done. I tell them I haven’t had the chance yet, and he explains to me he can’t refill it until he gets that. Totally fine, that was my fuck-up after all, but then proceeds to push Wellbutrin on me once again. Tells me he’s happy the Adderall is helping, but says it should be a plan B if the Wellbutrin doesn’t work out. I’m just sort of shocked at this point. I just mentioned to him how wonderful I’ve been feeling with it, and now he wants to take me off of it to test some other prescription that may not even work. I don’t even understand how this happened. Why wouldn’t we just continue with the medication that’s been working for me? Why make it a plan B. I think their issues with stimulants is overriding everything else.
I’m sorry for the huge wall of text. I’m just really discouraged. It’s taken me so long to even muster up the courage to start this process, I find something that’s working for me, and then it’s just pulled away from me. I don’t want to try the Wellbutrin. Not sure if I should continue with this Psychiatrist, or pursue a different one. The whole process is just so exhausting. Thanks for listening to my long rant. :( | 2021-11-21T23:36:12.000Z | qz7iqk | 3 | 5 | ADHD | Follow-up Psychiatry appointment went terribly. | 0.86 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7iqk/followup_psychiatry_appointment_went_terribly/ |
schuylersisters- | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:33:07.000Z | qz7gkg | 1 | 1 | ADHD | my bestfriend is suffering and idk how to help | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7gkg/my_bestfriend_is_suffering_and_idk_how_to_help/ |
Calm-Hedgehog-2682 | No matter how hard I try I just can't do it, and I can't even turn away from the thing that's causing the distractions since I need to stay on the PC to study, I know first and foremost I should get an appointment with a doctor, but I can't afford it right now (I'm NOT asking for money, just ideas on how to deal with this, I don't know what to do anymore) | 2021-11-21T23:32:41.000Z | qz7g8n | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Struggling with keeping focus | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7g8n/struggling_with_keeping_focus/ |
henareeree | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:31:41.000Z | qz7fiy | 1 | 4 | ADHD | How you feel about yourself is entirely up to you and nobody else. | 0.7 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7fiy/how_you_feel_about_yourself_is_entirely_up_to_you/ |
LeopoldDDoggo | I’m writing this in honor of those of you that are either 1) undiagnosed and reading along, wondering if you have ADHD or what to do about it, or 2) recently diagnosed and feeling horrible about how much better your life could have been if you had only been treated years earlier.
TL;DR Way down at the bottom
Gather ‘round and hear my tale…
Quickly, some background. I am 39 years old, born in 1982 to a humble, lower-middle-class family in Austin, Texas. My dad was obsessed with playing guitar and chased a rockstar dream unsuccessfully, eventually inheriting his dad’s job as a yellow-pages advertising salesman, and my mom was a secretary for her entire career. Very sweet people. They are now happily in retirement and enjoying themselves as best they can in the Austin suburbs.
For the longest time, with their traits in mind, I legitimately wondered if I was adopted, because I remember overflowing with ambition for life and brimming with happiness and dreams as a young kid. I loved school. I can vividly remember attending class around 6 or 7 years old and getting perfect or near-perfect scores on tests, seemingly without effort. Homework seemed to finish itself. Everything felt easy and good. I am even still friends with my best friend from those days. Memories of pure gold. But massive conflict was just over the horizon, as if two million-man armies were marching head-on, a hillcrest obscuring their views of each other, with a very young me happily and cluelessly skipping along the ridge.
In this looming conflict, there is a good army and a bad army. The good one flies the banner of my ambition, dreams, and zeal. And if you’re reading this post in this sub, you know well which colors the bad army flies…
The event that set the good army on its march was an accidental viewing of the movie Top Gun on VHS when I was six years old. I stumbled upon my parents watching it one evening, but it was one of the F-14 scenes, and I was fully mentally snared in mere seconds. I watched the movie again, and again, and again, fast-forwarding through drama and love scenes to get to those absolutely mind-blowing dogfights. I wanted to know everything about jets. I would read books about them cover-to-cover. I studied fighter aircraft silhouettes. I knew their NATO designations and even the engine model numbers and manufacturers. I could explain how the MiG-28’s in the movies were actually American F-5’s with black paint. Any time an episode of NOVA aired on PBS that was about flight, I recorded it and watched it dozens of times. In terms of passion, I was quite literally born to be a fighter pilot. And I knew it before my age was two digits long.
Inevitably, I raised the ever-important question to my parents, “I want to do *that.* I don’t want to do anything else. Fighter pilots are the greatest thing ever, and that’s what I want to be. *How do I do that?*” My parents, bless them, had absolutely no idea. I think they researched it a little bit at one point, but the only answer that I remember them giving was, “Well, get good grades, and you can do anything.”
I remember being somewhat dissatisfied with that answer, but I was too in love with studying about fighter aircraft to care. I was also getting really high grades in school. To six- and seven-year-old me, the future felt quite promising, and it was just a matter of time until I was getting buckled into the seat.
Looking back, I never noticed the day that the bad army actually began its march.
But I will never forget the day that the two armies suddenly met on the ridge somewhere in my mind, surrounding me, and enveloping me in a gruesome war that would last for more than three decades. I was eight years old, about halfway through October (my third-grade year), and on one Tuesday night I was absolutely racked with anxiety about a school project. It was an assignment I had received two weeks before, a project for which I had to draw a US state on posterboard, meticulously map out its cities, and illustrate facts about its economy and exports. Truly a two-week undertaking for third grade. I recall being a little intimidated by it – an altogether new feeling for me about a school assignment, but I still felt my confidence to effortlessly perform well. But for some reason, every night, I didn’t tell my parents about it. “Tomorrow I’ll tell them,” I can remember repeating to myself. Only on this night, I was all out of tomorrows.
Eventually panic set in deeply enough to drive me to admit to them just how awful a night it would be. The project was due tomorrow, and I had completed no work on it whatsoever. My dad was furious. I had never heard him yell that loudly. And so was my mom, though she was the first to take a practical step forward. My dad calmed eventually, and the three of us got it done. The state? The easiest one to draw of course: Wyoming.
I turned it in the next day, exhausted, and got an 85%. I had no idea at the time, but this would be roughly the average performance of the rest of my academic career.
One thing I did eventually learn about the military aviation recruiting process: to be US military fighter pilot, you must be an officer. And to be an officer, you must have a four-year degree. But every year after that horrible Tuesday night, I would struggle more deeply with grades, performance, and low motivation to study and do homework, despite *caring* about getting good grades and performing well and *missing the motivation and confidence* that I remembered from my earlier years. Oddly, there would sometimes be a class in which I would effortlessly excel. I remember achieving a 100% overall score in one of my science classes in high school – I never missed a single graded question on anything! I also remember precalculus and French class, among others, and being nearly ashamed going in without the prior night’s work done. Exam return days made me feel sick to my stomach.
With my mind’s armies confusingly raging around me, my spirit for school eroded to nothing. I remember resenting my friends with good grades and offers of acceptance to good universities. I can still feel some of the burn as my more academically successful classmates would talk to each other about difficult tests on which they somehow did well, conversations which I would feel too ashamed to join. Almost every day was suffering. In my junior year, as college discussions became de rigueur, all I could think was, “Four more years of this hell? Four years that are optional? A humble family and no scholarships? You must be kidding…”
By the time I graduated high school, after many late-night, last-minute efforts and pure terror of failing, I dragged myself to a 2.9/4 GPA. I was just below middle of my class. The following summer brought a much-welcomed sense of freedom from academic obligation. I enjoyed some time off with my remaining friends and became mostly happy again. Following some discussions with my dad, I decided that I would enlist in the US Air Force, both to satiate the lingering passion for aircraft and relieve the future college tuition burden. Two days after I turned 18 (I was among the youngest in my high school class) I signed the contract and took the oath. My job? Lead mechanic on F-16s.
After finishing training, I absolutely loved my job. I couldn’t believe I got to work with F-16s, fix them when they broke, and learn ever more about them. And the pilots were such cool guys (and gals!). But there was a downside to being a mechanic on fighters – it’s exceedingly difficult to get a flight in one. The opportunity comes to a very lucky few mechanics to ride in the back seat of an F-16D when all the circumstances are just right. It’s a little easier than the lottery, but not by much.
Eventually, I remember the beginnings of feeling a burning jealousy that I did all the work on a plane, but the pilots got to fly it. We were limited to watching them takeoff and land from the ground, far from the really incredible things they do.
After nearly four years of a six-year contract completed, my dissatisfaction reached critical mass. It was time to take on college. I learned about commissioning scholarship programs that paid all tuition and graduated you directly back into the service as a 2nd Lieutenant. It was a huge application package requiring recommendation letters and brutal fitness tests, but I had months to prepare it and submit. It felt possible! I was excited again!
And, of course, I waited until three days before the deadline to begin the work. I was 21 years old, but suddenly I was right back in my family living room on Wyoming night. One day before the deadline, my sponsoring officer calculated my fitness composite score. “Airman S\*\*\*\*\*\*\*, this isn’t going to work…” I had performed below the minimum threshold for the application.
It was the first time I outright failed despite what felt like my very best efforts *and* passion. High school was just math and science and history and whatever, things I about which I wasn’t very naturally excited. But this was the actual path to becoming a pilot. I would have to wait another year to submit again. One attempt later, I spent all of my time focusing on my fitness, but the pattern repeated in other areas of testing. My application was above minimums but was not competitive and I was rejected again.
I gave up on the commissioning programs and instead elected to simply go to college while serving part-time. After a couple of terrible starts in community college, I really focused, used ratemyprofessor.com, and got a terrific semester lined up. I got all A’s! Yes! The next semester was six classes, but I didn’t care – 4 A’s, 2 B’s! Still proud. The next semester…
The downward slide very gradually continued, but I was able to transfer from community college to a large public university. During my 3rd year, I realized that there was one remaining path that I could still use to become a fighter pilot through the Air National Guard. The only rule I had to worry about was that you were required to be under 30 years old before your first day of undergraduate flight training. On my current path, I would bust that by two months, but I learned that age waivers were common. So I pressed forward, did all the studying I could, tried my best to graduate on time, prepped like hell for the various tests the Air Force would use to evaluate me as a student pilot prospect, and activated my network of fighter pilots to help me with the application. The good army was finally winning!
Importantly, through the diligent work, I was anticipating a big day that happens in the student pilot application process. It’s the day you take your last assessment test for the Air Force, known as the TBAS test (Test for Basic Aviation Skills). It was a relatively low-tech but very secretive “computer game” in which you used a stick-and-rudder to maintain targeting reticles over targets on a computer screen while using a keyboard to cancel out emergency codes (and a couple of other similar tasks). It gets fairly intense, but I knew it was coming, and I was well-prepared through study and decades of playing fighter jet video games. You never see the scores of that test. But when you leave, you go to an online portal and enter two other pieces of data: your Air Force Officer Qualifying Test scores (a multiple-choice exam testing your knowledge of flight, navigation, math, verbal, and administrative skills), and your civilian flying hours (I had just over 40). The portal combines those with your TBAS scores to output the all-important PCSM (Pilot Candidate Selection Method) composite score, a number from 1-99 rating your percentile of quality among candidates that year, 99 being the best. This is the final and most important thing you write in the application. After completing my TBAS, feeling measuredly confident but not brimming with it, I rushed to the base library to get on the portal, input my scores, and waited. But I was distinctively unprepared for the output.
The screen displayed, in large font…
99
I felt a rush that has not been matched to this day. I stopped breathing. Every sound went silent. Tears welled. I was top 1% of candidates. I could fly anything I wanted. After all the pain and struggle and suffering, I was going to make it. I could FEEL the afterburners lighting behind me. I bellowed in triumph in the car on the way back to my maintenance squadron workshop to tell everyone. My fighter pilot buddies and mechanic brothers were ecstatic. None of the pilots themselves had scored that high! I submitted my application and was electrified with excitement.
Five eternally long days later, my sponsor officer, the Director of Operations for my fighter squadron, a US Air Force Colonel, an amazing pilot, and a good friend, called me to his office. He took me out to the flightline alone. Something was wrong.
“Sergeant S\*\*\*\*\*, I don’t know how to tell this to you, so I’ll just say it. The Director of the Air Guard, a four-star General in Washington DC, says there will be no age waivers for pilot applications for anyone without a Bronze Star or above. I fought and made calls and did everything I could with everyone I knew for the past few days, but he’s not letting anyone past on this one. I’m so, so sorry.”
My boss knew what happened as soon as I returned to the shop. He sent me home early.
It was the worst moment of my life: the absolute, irreversible demise of my dream. The good army fought to the end, but arrived exactly there, nonetheless. They had all fallen. The bad army’s soldiers milled around me on the ridge, expressing no triumph, paying me no mind. I spent a long time searching for an explanation. I couldn't figure out why, on the numerous nights that it mattered, I couldn't just get my work done like everyone else. I began to blame myself for being lazy and stupid and not having myself together. The military kept me out of any drug use. I'm scared to think of what might have happened if that backstop wasn't there...
It took a couple of years to get any excitement back in my life. It slowly returned, but never fully. Over the next several years I was able to get a decent job in Austin for a great company, and even got my MBA from an excellent school, able to talk my way off of the waiting list and graduating with about the same 85% performance as always. During my last MBA semester, while studying abroad, I met an alum that was starting his own business in London. He hired me 30 minutes after meeting me. Today, I work for him at his investments firm in London, but my performance has struggled there for the past couple of years. After some new hires, my output was quickly eclipsed, and if not for him, I’m pretty sure I would have been fired by the other partners. My anxiety went way up during this time. I figured my performance was low because of the anxiety, so after titrating through some different anti-depressants with my private GP, I ended up feeling better, but still having low performance.
And finally, three months ago, again contemplating and looking for a reason for the bad army’s existence, an explanation for the lack of results despite deeper passion than any I have ever encountered in anyone else for anything, I watched the now widely circulated series of YouTube videos on ADHD by Dr. Russell Barkley. Almost every point he said resonated with me. After a lot of trepidation and study, last Tuesday, at the end of my first psychologist assessment, my doctor said:
“You absolutely, 100%, have ADD without hyperactivity.”
A week from tomorrow, I have the psychiatrist assessment where medication is discussed and prescribed. I’m extremely excited. Because despite this damning, debilitating *disability,* I was able to come extremely far. I made it from humble Texas kid to master’s degree-holder with an investments job in London on sheer grit and determination. I dragged myself though countless nights of anxiety and disappointments, and I made it all this way on Extra-Hard difficulty. And even though, over 30 years, every last rank of the good army has fought and fallen in tragic defeat on the ridge, as it turns out, it has always had one last soldier standing…
Me.
And I’m about to get armored up…
Ultimately, I, and hopefully you, can’t wait to see what’s possible when the difficulty is finally set to “Normal”. The good soldiers of the good army are gone forever, but to give up is to forsake what they fought for. We can *still* fight the fight. We can *always* fight the fight. And with a little help, we can win.
Love you all. Let’s turn and burn…
**TL;DR Encouraging newly-diagnosed adult ADD sufferers to focus on your past accomplishments in spite of challenges to illustrate what is possible with treatment, versus imagining what could have been possible if only you had been treated earlier.** | 2021-11-21T23:29:44.000Z | qz7e10 | 6 | 20 | ADHD | Adult ADD Diagnosis: Regret for What Could Have Been vs. Excitement for New Possibilities | 0.93 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7e10/adult_add_diagnosis_regret_for_what_could_have/ |
clairegordon | The title kinda sums it up. I usually skip mine but this month she decided to show up. It always makes me adhd feel 10x worse even with my adderall. Anyone have any tips for how they make it suck less. I’m struggling so hard with final projects right now and I need to get some stuff done but feel like I can barely get out of bed.
Would it be smart to take slightly more adderall? Or no? | 2021-11-21T23:28:39.000Z | qz7d8u | 3 | 1 | ADHD | AFAB how do you make your adhd/pms suck less | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7d8u/afab_how_do_you_make_your_adhdpms_suck_less/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:28:10.000Z | qz7cw1 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | Doubting if i have adhd or dyslexia. | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7cw1/doubting_if_i_have_adhd_or_dyslexia/ |
[deleted] | [deleted] | 2021-11-21T23:28:04.000Z | qz7ctr | 4 | 2 | ADHD | What should I be mindful of while on Adderall? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7ctr/what_should_i_be_mindful_of_while_on_adderall/ |
orionterron99 | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:26:25.000Z | qz7bn7 | 3 | 3 | ADHD | ADHD probably IS an evolutionary adaptation. | 0.81 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz7bn7/adhd_probably_is_an_evolutionary_adaptation/ |
[deleted] | [removed] | 2021-11-21T23:23:41.000Z | qz79r5 | 1 | 1 | ADHD | What should I be mindful of while on adderall? | 1 | https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/qz79r5/what_should_i_be_mindful_of_while_on_adderall/ |
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