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There were times when I was napping or in the bath or the shower and he was free to roam the premises. I trusted him completely. And you've alleged that on one of these occasions, Detective Sergeant Arnott planted a sum of money in your late mother's overnight case. Did you witness Detective Sergeant Arnott bringing the £50,000 into your home? No. Did you ever witness Detective Sergeant Arnott having access to tens of thousands of pounds in cash? He'd hardly do it openly. Corrupt officers have access to criminal contacts. Please answer the question you've been asked. Did you ever witness Detective Sergeant Arnott with such an enormous sum... of cash? I don't know how Steve Arnott got hold of the money and then got it into my house. Ms Denton, you've answered. And I'm still answering. If I'm in accurate, I'll be corrected. Steve Arnott had my complete trust and the trust of the officers on guard duty. He could easily have picked his moment to plant the money and I firmly believe that that is the best explanation for how it came to be there. Because I had never seen that money before. Were you aware that you were under investigation by Anti-Corruption Unit 12? Yes, I was. And were you cooperating with that investigation? Yes, I was. You were being completely honest, to the best of your knowledge, in assisting them with their enquiries? Yes, I was. And had you always been completely honest with Anti-Corruption Unit 12? Please answer, Ms Denton. It was a complex case and there were many details that were elusive and, at times, required further thought and examination before I could give a definitive answer. Did you lie in relation to matters surrounding the conspiracy to murder Tommy Hunter? Ms Denton. As I said, it was a complex case, and many details were difficult to define or recollect.
Did you lie about having prior knowledge of Hunter? No. You lied about having prior knowledge of Hunter, didn't you? No. You told the investigators lie after lie to confound them, and to pervert the course of justice, didn't you? It wasn't like that. It was like that. You wove a web of deceit to confound the investigators and to protect yourself, and you have the effrontery to attempt to deceive this jury. No! Did you fabricate the improper relations between you and Detective Sergeant Arnott? No. Did you fabricate the planting of evidence against you? No. Lindsay Denton, aren't you an artful, devious person, who has betrayed the trust placed in her as a police officer... No. ...and haven't you repeatedly and shamelessly connived to obstruct those who would bring you to justice? NO, I HAVEN'T! Watching that circus really turned my stomach. Listen, I owe you an apology for the other night. Your... dinner invitation. You're a married man. This is it. But here we are, two colleagues having a drink, and the sky hasn't fallen in yet. Yeah. This is a voluntary interview by authorised firearms officer Victor Charlie 53 in the presence of her Police Federation representative and solicitor, by Superintendent Hastings and DS Arnott. I want to cooperate. I want to go on record that I have never, at any time, engaged with any other officer in covert telecommunications to knowingly mislead lawful enquiries. Glad to hear it. I also want to clarify some details... of previous statements made regarding the death of Sergeant Daniel Waldron.
Very good. Carry on. I never saw the exact moment the struggle started. The struggle for the gun that killed Daniel Waldron. Neither did Rod. We had to rely on what Hari... On what 54 told us. He said that Danny had entered the room with his firearm drawn and that he'd turned the gun on 54. So, you're saying Danny tried to kill 54? I'm saying that's only what 54 told us. He said that Danny turned the gun on him. 54 made a grab for the firearm to stop Danny from shooting him. There was a struggle for the gun, Rod and I joined in that struggle. The gun went off and killed Danny. Hold on a second, Constable, this is going way beyond clarifying a statement. I mean, you are changing your story all over again, here. This is the truth, sir. Well, you need to take a deep breath and we need to caution you. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you fail to mention, when questioned, something you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be used in evidence. Do you understand? I understand. So, now you're saying that Danny wasn't trying to kill himself. He was trying to kill VC 54, or so 54 claims? Yes, sir. That seemed plausible. Why? Danny was bullying us into covering for him after he shot a suspect. He moved the suspect's firearm, and then, he discharged the weapon narrowly missing 54. What, you conspired with Daniel Waldron to provide false statements regarding the shooting?
Yes, sir. We were all really scared of Danny. There was a part of him that was capable of doing anything. So, you killed him? No! It seemed like an accident. 54 convinced me and Rod that if we said that we'd killed Danny in self-defence, that the least we'd be looking at would be manslaughter. He told us to claim that we were trying to save Danny and that way, nobody could blame us for his death. Yes, but instead of telling the truth, the three of you went off and concocted a whole new version of events. And then, you decided to blame Rod Kennedy for Danny's death. I knew Rod was jealous of Danny. It seemed plausible that he could have been the one. You don't believe that any more? No, sir. 54 initiated the struggle with that gun. And it's only his word for it that it was self-defence. I just don't believe him any more. I can't cover for 54 any longer. He convinced me... to blame Rod. But I'm not sure that Rod could have killed Danny. He wasn't that sort of man. I betrayed him. Constable, you have my sincere condolences for the deaths of your colleagues. However, we have a job to do, and that job requires us to investigate thoroughly and impartially the murder of one of our own. And whilst we appreciate your cooperation here today, you have knowingly misled this enquiry for weeks on matters of the utmost gravity. Firstly, in respect of the shooting dead of a suspect. Secondly, in respect of the loss of life of an officer in the line of duty, the withholding of crucial information, the blatant disregard from your lawful duty as a police officer to comply with a criminal investigation, and therefore, I am submitting to the Police Board, that you be served with a red notice which is the termination of your contract as a police officer. And moreover, I will report to the Crown Prosecutor regarding perverting the course of justice and assisting an offender. Now, you won't be charged at this time, however, pending my discussion with the Crown Prosecutor, you may be charged with these offences.
But I thought if I cooperated, that you'd go easier on me? A suspension? A yellow notice? A fellow officer has been killed. There is no more serious offence that we investigate. Now, you may think I am harsh, Constable but, I know that this is justice. All rise. Foreman of the jury, please stand. Have you reached a verdict upon which you are all agreed? No, we have not. In these circumstances, I am willing to accept a majority verdict upon which ten or more of you agree. Yes, milady. All rise. Pick. A or B? A. The report from the second PM on PC Kennedy. Yeah. Boss, sorry, I thought this shouldn't wait. Yeah, come on. This something I should know about, Gaffer? Yeah, why don't you bring the whole bloody office with you? Sorry, sir. The pathologist revised the findings on Rod Kennedy's postmortem. She's admitted that they screwed up on the first one? Well, the findings are subtle. But there's a superficial head injury. Bruising was hidden under scalp hair at the back of the head and minor defensive wounds on the hands. Again, very subtle.
Unfortunately, no organic material recovered from under the fingernails. None of this is very strong. No, but I went back over the forensics, and there were foreign fibres in Kennedy's clothing. Again, not strong. Similar fibres were found in Kennedy's nose and mouth at the second PM. Right. Best guess, someone smothered him, and then hanged him while he was unconscious. Well, if Bains killed Danny, I'll lay you evens he killed Kennedy, as well. I need to show you this. Traffic camera vid-caps from the night of Rod Kennedy's death. This camera is located less than half a mile from the industrial estate. This registration matches a vehicle registered to... Harinderpal Bains. It's definitely gone over the threshold for our friend, PC Hari Bains. Bring him in, Steve. Good call, Gaffer. Sir. What happened with the postmortem? Weren't you supposed to organise it? Yeah, listen, I sent the e-mail, but I only just saw this morning, it bounced back from the pathologist's office. Right. Steve, you're a life-saver. Maneet, get me a update on Hari Bain's whereabouts. Urgent. Telecoms. I'll get hold of Kate and see if she's on his tail. We need an urgent triangulation on a suspect's mobile phone. Telephone number, 07591152689. Yeah.
He's at or near home. Right, could I have concealed firearms. Organise armed backup. Telecoms triangulation places Hari Bains at his home address. We understand that his wife and one child reside at this same address. What? PC Francis is in Bains's squad. She shouldn't be here. Correct. Thank you. Francis? Sir. DI Cottan. I've been bumped off the op. Too close to Bains. I need to be in on this, Dot. Can you make a call? 'No.' This is too dangerous. I want you out of it. Oh, for Christ's sake, Dot! Sorry, Kate. Set aside that this is one of our own. Hari Bains is potentially armed and is considered to be extremely dangerous. Let's get this done. Hello. Kate, you were right about the PM. Rod Kennedy, he was murdered. Hello? 'You're being fitted up for murdering Rod Kennedy.'
No, he was fine when I left him. 'Do you hear how guilty you sound already? ' I don't know what to do. 'Well, I do this for a living.' If you want a way out, you'll listen to me. Where's your DI? On his way. Then I'm the ranking officer. We need Bains alive for information on the murder of Danny Waldron. Armed police! Come out with your hands above your head! Coming out! Where's Hari? I don't know. He went into the garage. Can you open it? The keys are on the side. Get her out of here. Hari, it's McAndrew! We're opening the garage door. It's jammed. Wait! Clear! Open it. Don't touch the phone. - Arnott. - 'I've got eyes on Hari Bains. 'He's just entered the industrial unit 'where Rod Kennedy's body was found.' Look, he's probably armed.
Don't move until I bring backup. 'I'm not daft. I'm going to stay well out of it.' Thanks, they're on their way. Come here, come here. Secure that phone. I've got obs on Bains. Follow me! Kate, I got obs on Bains. I'm en route to the industrial unit where Rod Kennedy was found. Cheers, Steve, I'm on my way. Seriously? Of all the places to run, mate. Where are you going, now? What are you doing here? I'm just minding my own business. Re-examining an old crime scene. You expecting someone else? Who? Don't know what you're on about, mate. Well, have it your own way. I was just trying to give you a chance before the circus arrives! A chance of what? The way I see it, it's your word against Jackie Brickford's. Now, if you're seen to be cooperating with the enquiry, then... it doesn't take a genius to figure out who they'll believe, eh? Listen, boy, I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. This is where your mate Rod died. We've just had the postmortem report in. He was murdered. You see, that's what I'm doing here.
You...? Well, that's not very clever, is it? Returning to the scene of the crime. I had nothing to do with that. I believe you, mate. I do. And frankly, between the two of us, the forensics aren't that strong. But will Hastings? Hm? Will the CPS? See, this is that chance I was talking about. Now, starting with Danny Waldron, before he died, did he ever confide anything to you about those two pervs he killed? No, he never said owt. You think carefully. Ronan Murphy and Linus Murphy were the blokes he killed. Did he ever mention any other names? Politicians? Coppers? No. Think. Tommy Hunter and Lindsay Denton. What would Danny have to say about them? All right. So, who are you here to meet? I don't know. I never met him. I don't know anything about him. Nothing. No, nothing. Have it your own way, mate.
Look, you don't understand. What don't I understand? ! Man, I'm just small fry. Steady. It's just my phone. Look, it's unregistered. They can't trace it. I'll call them for you now, yeah? Yeah. 'The number you have called is not recognised. Please check the number. 'The number you have called is not recognised. Please check the number. 'The number you have called...' There is no bloke. It's all you! You killed Danny Waldron. You persuaded your mates to lie about it, and then, when Rod Kennedy wanted to come clean, you killed him? No, none of that's true. I never killed Rod. Go! Armed police! AC-12, don't shoot! Stay down, hands behind your head! Cuff him! .. You OK, Dot? Yeah. Harinderpal Bains, I'm arresting you for the murder of Roderick Kennedy.
You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you fail to mention, when questioned, something you later rely on in court. Anything you do say, may be used in evidence. Key. What the hell are you doing here, Francis? DC Fleming, Ma'am. AC-12. What happened? Just take a look. When I got here, Bains jumped me. You know, he was going to string me up the same way he did Rod Kennedy. I shouldn't have gone in without backup, sir. I just didn't want him to get away, you know? Well, nobody's going to question your judgment. You did a grand job, son. Now, take yourself off to the hospital and get yourself a checkup. Go on, off you go. Cheers, Gaffer. Yeah. Inspector, we're going to take this man into our custody, but I'd like you to give us one of your crews to ride shotgun. Yes, sir. You're lucky AC-12 got to you first. My team, we're following! The rest of you, back to the station. Youheardtheguv . Have you anything to say? Take him away. Steve... You OK, Dot? Yeah, I'll live. Minor facial injury...
Jury's coming back. You're free to come in, if you want. I'll wait here. Will the defendant please stand? Will the foreman of the jury please stand? A search of Hari Bains' home uncovered a cache of mobile phones. All of the unregistered, pay-as-you-go variety. Finding these phones allowed us to examine their call history. Hari Bains received a call the night before going to Inspector McAndrew and volunteering to stay on Danny's squad. And who was the call from? Well, unfortunately, it was also an unregistered pay-as-you-go phone, and said phone is no longer in history. Same MO as the recent text Bains received, telling him to sit tight. Three days later, there's another call from the same number. That was the night before Bains murdered Danny Waldron. You think they're connected? Well, if they are, sir, it means somebody's been pulling the strings. Someone who ordered Danny's murder. Well done, Dot! Welcome back, Dot! Thanks, Gaffer. Great work, sir. Cheers. On the charge of conspiracy to murder, have you reached a verdict upon which at least ten of you agree? We have. What is your verdict? Not guilty. On the charge of perverting the course of justice, have you reached a verdict upon which at least ten of you agree? We have. What is your verdict?
Guilty. Members of the jury, thank you for your time and efforts in this complex case. You are now dismissed. I'm putting you in for a commendation. Sir, I don't deserve that. Will you listen to this fella? Single-handedly brings in an AFO, who killed two coppers in cold blood, and for all he knew, he could have been armed to the teeth. I'll give you, "Don't deserve it". Thanks, sir. 'Lindsay Denton, 'for the offence of perverting the course of justice, ' I impose a sentence of 38 months' imprisonment. Since you have already served the custodial term of that sentence, your immediate release on license will follow. You are now free to go. All rise. I can't believe it. They've let her out on license. Lindsay! Lindsay! There she is! Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to make a brief statement on behalf of my client. My client would like to thank the men and women of the jury, who were faced with a complex case... 585 days, and on every single one I thought about what I would do when this moment finally came. I forgive you. ...Unanswered about the tragic, shocking events of the 5th September 2013. Who's the real guilty party, Lindsay? I'd like to thank the jury. Do you believe you were set up? Do you think you were framed, Lindsay? I'd just like to get on with the rest of my life. 'Lindsay, what is your...?
'Who set you up? ' I'd like to thank the jury for their decision. 'Who set you up? ' 'Earlier today, the former detective inspector 'was acquitted of the charges of conspiracy to murder.' 'Lindsay! Lindsay! ' 'I'd just like to get on with my life.' Previously on Shadowhunters... Jonathan Christopher. "JC." Jace. I don't know who I am anymore. There's darkness in me. In the alternate dimension you showed me a book of spells, and this was in it. It must have been the Book of the White. We can use the bookmark to track the owner of the book. It's Camille. I want my property back. Simon is not your property. Camille killed this mundane. He's the evidence we need to show the Clave she's been breaking the Accords. I'm getting married. I'm a Shadowhunter. This is about family, and tradition. What about love? I can't do this. You have the Cup.
How could I not know? I spent a lifetime not knowing who I was. But, Jace, the one thing I know for sure is you are not a bad person. You're not Valentine. I should have killed him. And yet I can't shake the feeling that he was right. Jace, Valentine is my father, too. We are the same... No, we're not, Clary. No, we are not. Jocelyn raised you. I was raised by Valentine, and a pair of baby booties isn't gonna change that. Stop! Look, I can't even begin to explain what happened in our past, but our mom can. We are so close to waking her up. You want answers as badly as I do, we have to go back to the Hotel DuMort and talk to Camille. Fine. Where's Simon? Simon, wait! What's going on? We need your help. The Book of the White. It contains the spell that can wake my mom, but she hid it so Valentine can never find it. We have a lead. The Bookmark of the White? It's a piece of the book itself. Magnus tracked its owner to the Hotel DuMort, but... it belongs to Camille. Okay, um... I'll set a meeting with Raphael. Thank you.
Have you spoken with Lydia? No one's seen her since the wedding. - Mom, come on. - Maryse. Mom, I understand you're upset, but this is... Calling off the wedding would've been one thing... but kissing that warlock in front of the entire Institute? You've embarrassed all of us. - Why? Because he's a guy? - No. The fact that he is a guy, as you say, is the least of my worries. Then what's the problem? That you chose Magnus Bane. His reputation precedes him. And even for a warlock, he's a bit of a lothario. Alec, there's so much that you don't know about him. Well, then I plan to get to know him. And if you have a problem with that, then I suggest you deal with it. Now, I have to go find Lydia. She's probably packing for Idris in your father's office. What she did... Saved my life. So I should go thank her. On a scale of one to ten... - how unpleasant was it? - Off the charts. Yeah, I've never seen them so angry. Just give them some time. You're immortal. Time is on your side.
After what I did... I don't think they'll ever forgive me. Don't underestimate a parent's love. You don't regret it, do you? Everything happened so fast. I didn't have time to think. I just wanna make sure Lydia's okay. Now I owe her so much. We owe her. What she did was nothing short of heroic. Hey, look, maybe we can slow things down? Why don't we start with that date you owe me? Yeah, let's do that. I know this great Ethiopian place on 44th... Lydia! Go get help. You're gonna be okay. Hodge... How's Lydia? Better. Magnus is doing what he can to help her, but it's bad. And the Cup is definitely missing. So is Hodge. Maybe he was attacked, too. -Maybe he's the one who attacked her. - Hodge? No way. We've known him our entire lives. He would never do that to us. I led him right to the Cup.
We treated him like family. How could he do this to us? That's how. What is that ring? Looks like he's talking to someone. And I can bet who it is. Valentine. Well, that explains how he deactivated the Punishment rune, but it doesn't explain where he got the ring. You think someone smuggled it past the wards? Maybe. Hodge wasn't the only ex-Circle member around here. Look, I know I don't always see eye to eye with my parents, but I know they're not traitors. Really? Isn't that what you just said about Hodge? It'd have to be someone we trusted, but if there was an intruder inside the Institute, we would have found them by now. What about the Forsaken attack? No. We killed that thing, and I didn't see a ring. He didn't have one during the autopsy, but... maybe there's something in the footage. Go to the other camera. -There. So, it wasn't a random attack. He was just the delivery boy. If he gives that Cup to Valentine, he'll create an army of Shadowhunters. With that kind of power behind him, he'll kill thousands. He'll kill thousands just creating the army. Most mundanes won't survive that. We won't let that happen. I'm gonna make sure of it. I believe you have something that belongs to me.
- You didn't know? I was joking, man. Yeah! Belk just took the field! Ladies and gentlemen, number 33, Billy Belk! All: Billy! Billy! Billy! Look at the football dance. Look at that touchdown dance. Let's hear it for him! Hey, uh, remember... How I was joking? Uh, I was joking about joking. So bet is definitely still on. I'll be right back. Do you guys want a mounds? All: Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy, you should really be in the hospital. But, by God, I'm glad you're here with us! Now, get out there and bring this one home! Go, Billy! Go! All right, Billy! Let's make sure you don't fumble the ball!
All right, we're handing it off to you, Billy. Do your thing. Got it? Uh... Blowjes. Same old Billy. Ready? Right! Agh! Grr. Whoo! First and ten, RC South. Let's go, Billy! Set! Red 30! All right. Come on, come on, come on. Hut! Whoa! Ho ho ho ho! Billy Belk tackled for a loss. - Good effort! - Second and 23. We're lucky he didn't fumble! Get off the field, little boy! Oh, man. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I'm a big, bright, shining star. All: Billy!
Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy! Set! Hut! Fumble it! Billy, fumble! Billy, fumble! I'm more than a mascot, dad! - Whoa! - What the... oh, my God, did you just see that? I'm trying to keep my car, man! - Anders. - What the hell? What's up, Billy? - What? - What? Who is that? That's the real Billy. Hey! Heeey! Hey, yeah! H-u-g-e! Who's got a big dick? Me! Blake! Remember me? You said I had a small one.
I got a big one! - Hey! - Whoo! Whoo! - Oh! - Stop! - What are you doing? - Help me! Meet at the 'Vo! Meet at the 'Vo! Meet at the 'Vo! Aah! 'Vo! Hey... whoa. Stop! - Yo. - Help me down. - Dude... - That was awesome. - We gotta go. - You see? I almost scored a touchdown. I saw that. Where's Blaze-onday? I don't know! Whoa, there he is! What are you doing under there? Where do you think you're going? - That's my car! - No, no, no, no, no.
RC South lost. Yeah, but you dick heads tampered with the bet! Okay, all right, fine. Then I guess, uh... It's a push, right? Unless you, uh, want to let it ride. Then I get to pick the over/under. On what? On, um... Well, there's been a lot of talk about my buddy here's dick size. - Huh? - Yeah, you... what's the line? Three inches. Hard. That's a little smokie. Which are delicious. I'm kind of hungry right now, man. - Whew! - Even if it's small, it can't be that small, right? No, of course not. That's unrealistic small. Yeah, scientifically improbable. Yeah, that's an Atari joystick, man. - That's impossible. - Okay. We'll take the over. - All right! - All right! - There it is. - Appreciate it, man.
Could ya maybe turn the radio up? - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - You're a punk bitch, 26! Kill yourself, 26! - Come on, number 26, you fat piece of dog crap! - Ride the pine, 26! Park that ass! - 26 sucks! - Hey, can you guys, uh, just quiet that down, please? - Totally. We'll be respectful. - [whispering] Wipe the butt lube off your hands, 26! - Hey! No, actually, I mean stop it! Okay? That's my son. - Yeah. - Sorry. - Sorry about that. We didn't know. - All right, no sweat. - Let's go, 26! - Let's go, 26! - Whoa'. 26'.! - You're not a total failure. Don't listen to everyone! [beatboxing] - ♪ I'm fresh ♪
$5' - ♪ You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, gotta ♪ - ♪ Gotta be fresh ♪ - We'll take that. - That's what I'm talking about. - Keep it moving. - If only he didn't get tackled. - Sure. - That's what I would have done. - Oh, there he is! My nephew Billy has the ball. Billy has the ball! Go, Billy! Go, Billy, go, go. go! - Oh! [all shouting] - Yes! - Holy cow! That kid is a jocld Love to see what he could do in the pool. I bet he's got great walls. - Yeah. All these kids, they're just children out there. A lot of them probably haven't even sprouted pubes. Put me in- I'm a real man. I've got a very dense bush. - Man, look at that visor. That thing's rad-ass. He looks like Cobra Commander. - His touchdown dance is a little weak.
What I would do, if I ever actually played football, is I'd do the dance before the play even started. Let 'em know what's up. Just a little... - Right. - Oh. - Yeah. Very fun dance. - Timberlake. - I like it. Um, it's kind of stupid to do it before the play 'cause then the opponent knows that you're gonna get the ball. - I bet you $100 I would still be able to score. - Well, I don't bet, so... - I bet you do. - I bet I- Nice try. - Yeah, I got you, dude. - I used to be a major player in the gambling world, all right? - Mm. - I lost everything. - Hmm. - Including my mind. Haven't gambled since. - No, I remember that. You lost, like, 80 bucks. - It was money your grandma gave you for your birthday. - No, but she had to cancel her subscription from cable for a month. Sometimes, when you're a grandma, a month's all you got, you know? - Wanna make that 80 bucks back? - It's the fat kid! - Oh, you turded in our pool.
- Yeah, that's right, you fucking losers. All those things are true. - Okay. - And just so you know, any and all betting at RC South goes through us. So how about it? You boys looking for some action? - In the back section? No. Thank you. I'll pass. I'm not into sex with strange dudes. - What are you talking about? - I'll bet you 20 bucks that our boy Billy Belk scores the next touchdown. - Billy scores a lot of touchdowns. All right? You have to give me odds. - Okay, sure. We'll take evens. - No. You sound like an idiot. - Good. Smart. - Look, if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it right. Here's the deal: we'll double the money and take two-to-one odds on our prop. Let's keep that vig under... 100. - 10... - I'm at 85. If you got 85, that's a good bet. - Dude, that's a good bet.
I'd take that all day. - All right. - All right! - Oh! [grunting] - Oh, see that? - Oh! - There he goes! - There he goes! - Keep goin'! - Oh. my God! [all cheering] - I want that. Thanks, man. Nice playing. - All right. - Hey, boys. - Get it, B. Belld - Let's make it rain. [dubstep music] $5' [laughing and cheering] - These guys are gonna be easy money. - Totally. - Yeah. - I mean, come on, spray it, guys. Come on. What- are you crazy? - [laughing] Yo. Yo, that dude's using the short urinal. He must have a short dicld [laughter]
- Uh, no, this is just the available urinal, so I'm using it. - Yeah, available to anyone with a little dick. - No. If anything, it's for a larger penis because it has more room to droop, and it doesn't have to rest on a urinal cake. - No, man, I think I saw it when you whipped it out. It was small and looked like a cocktail shrimp. - I didn't even have it out all the way. That was just the tip of the iceberg, as they say. - Hey, hey, can I borrow your dick? I need to get something out of my teeth. - "Dick, ooh, dicks, dicks. We're in high school. All we talk about's dicks." News flash-dicks, we all got 'em, if we're boys. - That was cool, dude. - Yeah. - We should, like, gamble all the time, start a casino. Who's, like, the most lndianest of us all? - No, dude, we- we can't, all right? Yes, we made it rain Combos, which we've been talking about doing for years. - Yeah, we have. - But...we're done, all right? Finished. Okay? - I guess. - What's up, guys? - Oh! Hey, Billy. - Yo. - Billy Belk.
- Hey. - That was a great game. These are my work homes, so... - What's up, homies? - Hot chick, bro. - Yeah? - Reminds of the days I almost hooked up with chicks like that, back when I almost played football. I was, like, too busy mascotting, so I was, like- it took up all my time. - Yeah, she's okay, I guess. Gives a decent blowj, but don't they all? - Tsh. - Oh, right? - That's cool. - "BIowj" means "blow job." - So anyway, it's like I always say. I'm all about banging' clits, sucking' tits, and takin' shits. [laughter] - Those are honestly, like, my three favorite things. That's cool that you're always saying that. - Yeah, man, I know exactly where the clit is, and when I get there, what to do with it. - Yeah. - Seriously, though, I'm so jealous of you guys. Slayin' mad older box all the time... - Oh, yeah. - These immature high school bitches won't give it up unless you're their boyfriend, so I gotta settle for blowjes. - Ohh, that- aw, man, that must... suck. - Girls can't even fit my wiener in their mouth. Yeah, yeah, my dick's so big, it has a rib cage. - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I got a huge-huge one. - Really. - Hell, yeah. - You've never said that before. - Uncontested. - Cool, dude. - Sorry to interrupt. Just wanted to give you gentlemen my card, in case you care to make any more wagers. - Look, I love a good card, but... we're done, so see ya. - [scoffs] Take it. You never know. [beatboxing] [beatboxing] [explosions] - Whoa! What is this, God of War'? - Ascension. It's God of War: Ascension. It's like, uh, like French Canadian. Like, "eh," that's the Canadian part. And then "cension." - Guys, I've got great news! This is insane. Tonya Michaels, the point guard for RC South Lady Wolves- according to her relationship status, she's now single. - She's really good too. - Yeah. Which is gonna be messing with her mental game. She's gonna be totally boy crazy all over the place. Also, Kevin Slater just tweeted, "Midnight tacos tonight.
#yummy." - Yeah, they are good. - Guys, that's crazy! He's supposed to wrestle tomorrow. He's not gonna be able to wrestle if he's got #diarrhea. - Hash tag. That's a pound sign. It's, like, a Twitter thing. - All right, Ders, why are you even bothering with stupid high school kids? Internet stalking? Come on. That's beneath you. - Not stalk- Pause the game for a second. Guys, I'm looking for an edge right now. I got a system that's already yielded six positive expectation wagers, and that's- that's a real thing. - Ugh, these high school football players have boy bodies. I'd destroy them. I have a man body. I'm borderline dad body. I have shoulder hairs. Actually, I found a gray one the other day. - Ders, you quit gambling 'cause you lost all your money. Why would you go back? - Those were scratch-offs. Okay? Those are random. You just scratch. You don't know what you're gonna get! - You don't know.
- This is high school sports. - He knows. - I'm a former high school athlete, guys. - Yeah, you were good. You sort of peaked in high school. - Oh, man, didn't we all, though, right? - Yeah. Yeah, we did. - Here they go. Yo! - Didn't think I'd hear from you so soon. - Bet you did. - Well played. - Check it out. [crowd cheering] ' Ohh! All: Ohh! [buzzer] [overlapping chatter] - Hey, toothpicld [laughter] - ♪ I'm the number one ♪ ♪ But I ain't trying to be that number ♪ ♪ I'm just here to beat it up ♪ ♪ I just came to lay the law, my girl ♪ ♪ I'm all about my cheese ♪ ♪ Yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout the karma ♪ ♪ I don't want no baby mama ♪ ♪ I don't want that kind of drama, nah ♪ ♪ Number one, I ain't trying to be that number, girl ♪ ♪ I'm here to beat it up ♪
♪ I just came to lay the law, my girl ♪ ♪ I'm all about my cheese ♪ ♪ Yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout the karma ♪ ♪ I don't want no baby mama ♪ ♪ I don't want that kind of drama, nah ♪ - He doesn't have the balls to grab titties. - Respect yourself. [all cheer] - Whoo! - Whoo! - Respect. - Whatever. - Great, we just lost all our money. There goes my iguana fund. - Well, boys, it was a pleasure doing business with you. - Whoa, wait, wait. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Let's go double or nothing, just so we can break even. - You don't have anything to bet. - Yes, I do. I'm willing to bet my 'vo on the homecoming game. [all snicker] - RC South is gonna run away with it, okay? North can't stop Billy Belk. Plus, your car sucks, so- - My car sucks? Oh- - Yeah. - Sucks. - It does.
- Oh, yeah? What if we bet for RC South to lose? - What? - Yeah. - You're betting against Billy Belk? - He's- he's, uh, overrated. - Wow. - I think we do it. - Ders has a bet. - [laughs] - All right! - Cool, cool. - All right, yeah! - Okay, cool. - It's all fun. - Enjoy. - See you at the bet! - Yeah. See you guys at the bet. - Are you crazy? You're betting against Billy? - Yeah. Because we're gonna get Billy so drunk tonight that he's not even gonna be able to show up to the game tomorrow. - Ohh. - Right, yeah. - Billy. Jilly! What's up? - 'Sup, boner? - Ha ha, no.
You'd be able to tell. - What's up, erection? - I don't have an erection, Jillian. - Oh, Blake, I don't want Billy drinking too much before the game tomorrow, okay? - Oh, yeah, me neither. - Shut up! God, no wonder you have cats instead of kids. Go wait outside until I'm ready to leave. - Cats are kids. "Kiddens." - Billy! flaughs] - What up? What's up, man? - Buh-buh-Billy boy! What it is, what it is, what it should be. - Did you bring some jimmy hats, my main man? - Hell, no! - Oh, yes, nice. - Whoa. - No fear, I like that. I also like the clothing company. I have a shirt. I'll give it to you. "Second place, first loser." - Strong shirt. - Okay, all right, what the hell are you guys talking about? Where are the chicks? You guys promised me I'd get to fuck to completion tonight.
- Yeah. - Oh, yeah. They're coming, and, uh, to put it in laid-man's terms, he's gettin' laid, man. Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! All right, it's time for you to meet our buddy, Tubba [bleep]. - It's cool, 'cause it'll make your brain all relaxed, right? But your heart... it might explode. We bought, like, 800 cans when we found out they made it illegal. It killed 14 kids in West Virginia. - No joke. - Mm-hmm. Heart attacks. - I'm ready. - Yeah, we got a tub of it. - Here's to no more blowjes and real sex! [all cheer] - ♪ Double, double, drink, drink ♪ ♪ Don't want no juice, no juice ♪ ♪ A splash of grape drink with my Grey Goose ♪ ♪ Help me get looser ♪ ♪ Drink, drink, don't want no juice ♪ ♪ No juice, a splash of grape drink ♪ All: Beat the tub! - What? - ♪ Top-shelf vodka, I can't stop her ♪ ♪ A night at the opera, nothing but drama ♪ ♪ She took a drink and another, drink and another ♪
♪ Now she gets up like a mother ♪ ♪ And now I gotta baby-sit ♪ ♪ I was trying to take her out, take her home and hit ♪ ♪ She was cute, I was trying to just get some love ♪ ♪ She wanna pick a fight with some chick in the club ♪ ♪ I gotta break it up, break it up ♪ - ♪ Gotta break it up, break it up ♪ ♪ Sugar water purple, sugar water purple ♪ ♪ Alcohol ♪ - ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ - Whoo! - No! - What's up, [bleep]! - It's part of the game. - [bleep]! What's up, [bleep]! - This is my guy. - Yeah! - This is my guy. - Whoo! - I mean, like, what do you say to these girls to get you to blow] them? I mean, I know what I'd say, but I wanna hear it from, like, another poon master. - I'll say anything to get the mouth. - [laughs] - And, like, you're not scared, right? I mean, there's nothing to be scared of? - Scared of what? - I heard this story about this girl whose clit had, like, a fingernail, and this guy's tongue got... - Yeah, I heard about that. - Totally sliced up. - Sliced open.
- What's with you dudes? Where's the 'tang? I need to shoot the silk milk before our big game. Empty the nuts! all: Yeah. - Empty nu-yeah. - We know. - I'm-I'm so used to doing it, I- - You think my nuts are ever full? - Like, so many- - Oh, the-the girls- Whoa, they're close, and then it says that they're juicin' for you. - They're juicing, and they're ready for silk milk. - Let me see that. - Wait, no- - Dude, you didn't get any text messages. - No, that's a password thing. It's an old phone. - Oh, password-protected. - Did you delete it? - What? You only got one chick that ain't Jillian in your contacts. Kim better be ready to take it. - Don't call-not K- Don't call- - Yeah, I'm looking for Kim. Is she there? - [silent] ' [silent] - No, I don't want to take Tae Kwon Do classes, dude. I already did that.
- Should have thought about that- - Kim's a dude? - He's a sensei. - You guys don't know one chick, do you? - Yeah, uh... - I trusted you losers. I even told you about banging' tits, sucking' shits, and takin' clits. - He does always say that. - He's always- Yeah, that's cool. - And just so you know, your tiny, little shrimp dick has a Facebook page. And I liked it. Billy! Billy! [plastic cup clatters] - What is going on with this shrimp dick stuff, man? - Yeah, man. A lot of people are talking. - It's stupid, okay? I went to the high school football game. Lused the little kiddie urinal 'cause no one else was using it, and now, all of a sudden, I have a little kiddie penis? Come on, man. - No, that makes sense. - That's bathroom 101. - Yeah, everybody knows that. - It's not true, okay? What, do you wanna see it? You wanna see it? Huh? - Us?
No. - Well, you keep talking about it. How 'bout I show it to ya? - I'd love to see it. - Oh, you do? Okay, great. All right, I'm gonna show it to you. - You ever seen it? - I haven't seen it. - I've never seen it. I'd love to see it. - Man. Nah. Nope. Not tonight. Guess it wasn't your lucky day. [beatboxing] [beatboxing] - Two minutes till game time, and no sign of Billy. - Yep. - Good plan, Beez. - Hey, what can I say? [laughs] - Brains of the op. - Thanks. - So you guys heard about Billy, huh? - [laughing] What's the matter? Is your star running back not feeling too good? Mmm... [whimpers] - Ooh, cry about it.
Ooh, he's not here. Ooh, I'm crying about it. - That's really insensitive. - [chuckles] Why? - Okay. - Greetings, football fans. Today Rancho Cucamonga South is dedicating the game to Billy Belk, who was in a car accident last night. Luckily, he's in stable condition with a broken collarbone at St. Joe's. Now let's. .. go, Wolves! [cheers and applause] - He's okay. He's okay. All: Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy! - They seem motivated. - Billy! Billy! Billy! - Here we go. - Billy! Billy! Bill... [crowd cheering] - Yep. - Get him. - All right.
- Yeah! [cheers and applause] Yeah! - Touchdown, RC South! - All right! All right! - Lot of game left to be played. - Oh...fug9-. [upbeat music] - J'Go ♪ ♪ Go ♪ ♪ Go, fight, win ♪ - And a reminder, all Wolves fans, the snack shack... - Oh, my God, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, please win. Let's please win. - Hey. North! Time for those boy bodies to blossom into man bods. Let's hit puberty right now! - Check it out, dude. This chick's totally digging my style, man. - Ooh. - [giggling] - Five, six, seven, eight. T-I-N-Y! You ain't got no alibi. Your dick's tiny! Yeah, yeah, it's tiny! - She's looking right at you when she's saying that.
- T-I-N-Y, you ain't got no alibi. Your dick's tiny, yeah, yeah. It's tiny! - I, like-oh, my God. I need a snack. - Whoo! - You going to the snack shack? - Yeah. - Could you get me some "snachos"? - Yeah, sure. - Yeah, grab me a Mounds. - Whoa'.! - First down! 26-yard completion for RC South. - God, this is not happening! [inspirational music] - You're right. It's not. - Where you going? Wait, just wait till Blake gets back, dude. - I'll take some nachos. - Uh, anything else I can get you- popcorn, pizza, corn dog? - I'll take a corn dog. - [laughs] Oh, man, I was just laughing to myself, Jerry, because I was joking about betting my 'vo, and I thought maybe you thought I was serious. - What? - You didn't know? I was joking, man. - Here he is! - Yeah!
[cheers and applause] - Holy shit. Belk just took the field! - Ladies and gentlemen, number 33, Billy Belk! All: Billy! Billy! Billy! - Look at the football dance. Look at that touchdown dance. [cheers and applause] - Let's hear it for him! [cheers and applause] - Hey, uh, remember... how I was joking? Uh, I was joking about joking. So bet is definitely still on. I'll be right back. Do you guys want a Mounds? All: Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy! - Billy, you should really be in the hospital. But, by God, I'm glad you're here with us! Now, get out there and bring this one home! Go. Billy! Go!
[cheers and applause] - All right, Billy! Let's make sure you don't fumble the ball! [applause] - [growling] - All right, we're handing it off to you, Billy. Do your thing. Got it? - Uh... blowjes. [chuckles] - Same old Billy. Ready'? Bream - Agh! Grr. - Whoo! - First and ten, RC South. [applause] - Watch it, Billy. Right here. - Let's go, Billy! - [grunts and squeals] - Set! Red 30! - All right. Come on, come on, come on. - Hut! ['°'aV°'S grunting] - Whoa! Shit.
[grunts] - Ho ho ho ho! - Billy Belk tackled for a loss. - Good effort! - Second and 23. - We're lucky he didn't fumble! - Get off the field, little boy! - Oh, man. - I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I'm a big, bright, shining star. [whistle blows] All: Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy! Billy! [dramatic music] - Set! Hut! [players grunting] $5' - Fumble it! Billy, fumble! Billy, fumble! [triumphant music] [slow motion] Fumble! - I'm more than a mascot, Dad! $5' - Whoa!
- What the- - Oh, my God, did you just see that? - I'm trying to keep my car, man! - Anders. - What the hell? - What's up, Billy? - What? - What? Who is that? - That's the real Billy. - Hey! Hey! Hey, yeah! - What the- - H-U-G-E! Who's got a big dick? Me! Blake! Remember me? You said I had a small one. I got a big one! - Hey! - Whoa'. Whoa'.! Oh! - Stop! - What are you doing? - We gotta go. We gotta go. Come on!
- Meet at the 'vol Meet at the 'vol Meet at the 'vol Aah! 'Vo! - Hey-whoa. Stop! [crowd cheering] - [grunting] - Yo. - Help me down. - Dude. - That was awesome. - We gotta go. - You see? I almost scored a touchdown. - I saw that. Where's Blaze-onday? - I don't know! - Oh, hey, dude! - Whoa, there he is! - What are you doing under there? - Where do you think you're going? That's my car! - No, no, no, no, no. RC South lost. - Yeah, but you dickheads tampered with the bet! - Okay, all right, fine. Then I guess, uh... it's a push, right? Unless you, uh, want to let it ride. - What are you doing? - Then I get to pick the overlunder.
- On what? - On, um... well, there's been a lot of talk about my buddy here's dick size. - Huh? - Yeah, you- - What's the line? - 3 inches. Hard. - That's a little Smokie. Which are delicious. I'm kind of hungry right now, man. Whew! - Even if it's small, it can't be that small, right? - No, of course not. That's unrealistic small. - Yeah, scientifically improbable. Yeah, that's an Atari joystick, man. That's impossible. - Okay. We'll take the over. - All right! - All right! There it is. - Appreciate it, man. - Could ya maybe turn the radio up? - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - Nice. [dog snorting] [party horn blows] - Set! Hut!
[all grunting] [triumphant music] $5' Previously on Californication... You know, the weird thing is, my husband's dead, and I'm numb. How the fuck you doing, Moody? My dick don't work no more. A man can only shoot so many loads in a lifetime. I mean, literally, you can run out. We need one pound of your best Peruvian blend. - We will be on our way. - I like that suit. - Take it off. - What about your old lady? - What about her? - What about her needs? Wives are different. They don't rub themselves raw like we do. I know my husband fucks around on the road, but we have an agreement. I've been wanting to talk to you. - Regarding? - An extramarital affair. - Oh, my. - I'm still in love - with her, Stu. - Me too. But I will pay you to not pursue Marcy any longer. This is a fucking disaster. What the fuck are you guys talking about? It's a rock opera with the tone of my book.
It's bollocks. It doesn't have any heart, and you have a huge heart. Oh, I just had me an assgasm. Oh. Hank. ♪ Hank Good morning, sunshine. Your work is delightful. Great job on the rewrite, Hank. It really puts a smile on the face. I love a good musical. Warms the fucking cockles. What the fuck are you doing here? The missus caught me eating one of her chocolate bars out of the cleaning lady's vagina. That's disgusting. No, it was delicious. It was Marilyn Manson's idea. Once upon a time, according to rock legend, mind you, Mick Jagger was caught eating a chocolate bar out of Marianne Faithfull's warm, gooey center. Bowie was there too. Of course now they all swear it never happened. But I felt like I should try it at least once. I'm actually surprised it's taken me this long. By the by, Atticus, just any idea how long you might be staying? I hadn't really thought about it. It could be quite a while, though. She was fucking furious. Almost cut my dick off. Is this gonna be a problem, Runkle? No. I just-- you know, I thought you might be more comfortable at a hotel. Why would I be more comfortable paying for posh lodgings when I can stay with my manager?
For free. Makes sense to me. Tell me, will... Krull be staying too? Of course. He's my road manager. Anytime I leave my house, I'm technically on the road. Krull gets me from point "A" to point "B" and knows where to find all my favorite creature comforts along the way. Where's the shitter in this place? Ooh. Yeah, go easy, big fella. - Low-flow toilets. - Hey. - We should have a party. - Why? I'm newly single. You've just had a major creative breakthrough. We should fucking celebrate. One should mark such fucking milestones. You know, that's not really a bad idea, Hank. The last big party I had here was filled with smelly leather boys. Couldn't really wash the stink off the joint. Okay, well, where's the master? I'm gonna rest up for tonight's shindig. Follow the Krull. Oh, and, Runkle, can you get a piano delivered? And make sure there's heaps of alcohol and cocaine and Mars bars and Astroglide. Brilliant work, Hank.
I'm gonna go put this under my pillow and do some dream-writing. But first I must masturbate myself to sleep. ♪ Californication 6x08 ♪ Mad Dogs and Englishmen Original Air Date on March 17, 2013 == sync, corrected by elderman == Moody. Eddie Nero. As I live and breathe. Can I have a go? I'd very much like to tackle Hank. No, no. That's my thing. - I'm gonna do it. - Do what? Continue my great tradition of bringing your words to life. This time on the boards in front of the footlights. - Can you even sing? - Can I sing? I don't know. Can you? ♪ We know we belong to the land ♪ ♪ and the land we belong to is grand ♪ ♪ and when we say ♪ yow - ♪ yip-ay-yo-ay-yay ♪ yow ♪ we're only saying, you're doing fine, Oklahoma ♪ ♪ Oklahoma, O.K. ♪ L-a-h-o-m-a ♪ Oklahoma Is there anybody alive out there? I got serious douche chills running up and down my spine. I'm also a little hard, I have to admit.
I'll bet you are. Can I see it? No, can I see it? No! Hey, pussy fart, how you doing? Eh, all right, Eddie. - How about yourself? - I heard you came out recently. For a short time, yes. He almost took a man in his mouth. I took a man in my mouth once. Yes, we know, Eddie. I engineered that orgasm. My hands, mouth, feet. I watched his jism form a slimy St. Louis Arch in the air before landing comfortably on the rug in the Lincoln bedroom. You performed fellatio in the White House? Shh, it's not appropriate, but yes. I had an experience with a gent once. He was quite pretty. Showed up in the backstage area. Fooled the road crew. Sure as hell fooled me. He gave a lovely blow job. I reached into his knickers, felt what I initially thought to be a slightly oversized female clitoris, but, no, it was a gentleman's short, but quite broad penis. I thought to myself, "What would Bowie do?" And then I gave up and got security to beat him senseless. And then I felt sorry for him and let him blow me again. Holes is holes when all's said and done. That's exactly what I always say.
I have big news. Tonight I'm gonna make love to a woman. Oh, well, maybe we should alert the media. Entertainment Tonight or maybe National Geographic. Well, I have been celibate for quite some time now. I thought that I'd lost all my loads. But they came back, and if I'm going to star in a traditional love story, I need to remember what it's like to come again with a woman. And, by the way, what's the deal with this party? 'Cause seems like it's a little bit of a sausage fest. Yeah, Runkle. Where are the girls? I'm sorry. What do you mean? I said we should have a party. Did you expect me to send out the fucking invites, you senseless wanker? And what about the drugs? - Where are the drugs? - Okay. Atticus, well, we had good luck with the chocolate bars and the Astroglide, but there was a little bit of a problem with the drugs. Fuckin' fuck, Runkle. Jesus. Aah! Was that a banana? I want drugs. I want some fucking girls and some fucking drugs. Drugs. - Whoo! - Hey. Hi. - Hank Moody.
- Boom. Hey. How's my suit? - It's aspirational. - Ah. Gonna fit in that fucker one day. Excellent, exce-- good luck with that. You know, you don't have to be so fucking snarky. Slow and steady wins the race, asshole. I'll fit in that suit before you grow your fucking hair back. Boom! - Frank. - Widow. Come here. And if it isn't the bloody warlock who turned me bum into the happiest place on earth. I've missed you, you dirty, bald bastard, you. Nice to see you, Trudy. - How you been? - I've been well. - I've been well, you know. - Good. Thinking about finding me a new husband. Oh, really? Tony left me in financial shambles. You know. I mean, we spent it as fast as he made it. I don't know if he's marriage material, but Eddie Nero right over here is looking to bust a big, fat load after being celibate for quite some time. - Really? - Maybe you two could help - each other out.
- Oh, no. He's a little too pretty for me. And he poops on people. Blue eyes poops on people. You're into the scat-play, huh? Poop! It was a phase but a messy phase. I've been there once or twice. I have. Real messy. Speaking of dirty, what do you say, Popeye? You ready to bust one out of the chamber, so we can sit back, relax, and enjoy the party? Don't mind if I do. Yay. Attaboy. Poop, poop. ♪ Stop. Don't stop. Stop. I'm almost done. Fuck. This is good, Hank. Almost makes me want to jump your bones. Almost? What else-- I got a typewriter right here. Damn. Thank you. Well, your thoughts, and the kind, thoughtful, long-legged manner in which you chose to express them, had much to do with the end result.
Well, it leaves you with the same feeling that a real great song does. Sadly, I think my work here is done. What? No more sexy time? Say it ain't so. Well, too much leads to too much. Sooner or later, someone gets hurt. Yeah, well, you're right. You should probably do your best not to fall in love with me. I wasn't worried about me. No, no, be careful. I have a tendency to take root in the hearts and minds of those who initially find me off-putting. It's a small, but loyal group. Well, everything put together falls apart, Hank. - Paul Simon. - Very good. No, that was easy for me. Know why? - Why? - 'Cause I'm old as dirt. Oh. Oh, come here. - You're not so old. - Oh, sweet talker. Oh, my back. My back. Oh, jeez. I've never been sodomized in a child's nursery before. - What fun. - That's odd.
Oh, hey, you two. Hey. Oh, this is Trudy. This is Marcy and Karen. This is Trudy, and Trudy was recently widowed. It's true. I was. - Yeah, my hubby O.D.'d. - Oh, sorry. But Jean-Luc Picard here has been keeping me company. - Jean-Luc Picard. - Right? He's not too big in the lap, you see, but he's enthusiastic, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I know what you're saying. Hey. I thought you said they weren't coming. They said they weren't coming. Here they are. - Good. - Yeah. We got bored, we smoked weed, and we wanted to meet Atticus Fetch, yeah! You should. You should. You should have sex with him. Both of you. He's single now, and he's quite good in the sack, you know. A little lazy when it comes to the oral return favors and such. - Unlike the ass whisperer here. - That's me! He gives as good as he gets, he does.
Oh, that's not exactly my experience. Hey. Have you ever done Atticus before? Uh, no, I have not had the pleasure. We should do him together. We could. Or we could go get a drink right--right now. Whatever you think, love. Marcy, let me introduce you to Atticus. No. Allow me. Okay. Whichever one. Lead the way. I see you have a new friend. Yes, and she's--and that's what she is, a friend. She's a lovely young woman who has helped guide me creatively. Right. I'm sure. Sort of a Florence Nightingale in your time of need... - Oh. - Kind of thing. Well, you know what, I'm happy to see that I can still get a jealous rise out of you. But you just say the word, and I will stop the world and melt with you. Yeah, I said that. Oh. - You remember Eddie. Karen. - Hi, hey. Karen, you remember Yusuf Nero?
Of course. The last time we were together, you were seeing that handsome African-American fellow. No, that was just a phase, like you pooping on people. I had a feeling that was a passing thing. A milk chocolate mandingo fantasy. Perfectly normal. You're entitled. Particularly after the hell that this lunatic's put you through. Oh, okay, well, speaking of lunatics, you know, Karen was recently married to a pansexual loon named Richard Bates, the writer. - You know him? - Are you kidding me? He's the man I took in my mouth. - Of course he is. - Richard Bates. He wrote the definitive draft of John, the Michael Mann movie that won me the Academy Award for Best Actor, but it's not about the kudos. - It's about the work. - Of course not. - Karen. - Mm-hmm. It has been many years since we've seen each other, and yet you have not aged a day. Your stems, your hindquarters remain glorious. Your skin is flawless. You are a beautiful woman. Well, thank you, Eddie. - You will do perfectly. - Whoa, whoa. - Watch it, Nero. - Eddie needs my help. Your effluvium is delightful, a rare vintage. Come, allow me to seduce you.
Now fuck off. Go away. Well, we tried. Krull. Sorry. The one thing I know about Atticus is he loves his fans, and we've got a great, big one right here who would very much like to say, "Hello." And what's this big fan gonna do with me? Hey, you. I'm somebody's mother. Yeah, but you're not mine, love. How about a bit of suction? Allow me to handle this. Hmm. Allow me to handle this. ♪ Well, it looks like we found the party. - Hello, girls. - Who is this? Oh, please, Atticus, let me introduce you - to my ex-wife. - And mine. And the mother of my child. You were both married to this woman? Yes. Yes, we were. What the fuck's wrong with you? How much time do you have? Marcy. Huge fan.
Finally. A fan. She loves the musicians. She had quite a serious fling with Rick Springfield - once upon a time. - Really? You were one of Jesse's girls, were you? Yes. Yes, she was. She even had the ringtone to prove it. Why is it you never mentioned a fling with a major fucking pop star? I don't know, Stu. Maybe it's because you're so fucking jealous. Maybe it's because you need to be the only cock in town. Maybe it's because I fucking love you so much, Marcy. - That is why. - Okay, well, it looks like this meet and greet is over. - Let's go, Marcy. - Yes. Leave her - with me. - Oh, that's probably not a good idea. Yeah, we're happy to stay. You're not actually my type. I usually go for tall, leggy blondes. But you're quite sexual, aren't you? She's incredibly sexual. Built for speed, born to fuck. Sinking into this woman is like swimming in a vat of exquisite oil. Jesus Christ, Stu.
A vat? You make me sound like I'm all stretched out and shit. - Shut up! - We had a nice sex life ourselves, you know. It wasn't crazy or anything. - Ugh! Oy. - A finger up the ass every now and again. A botched threesome or two, but it was quite familiar, comforting. You have quite a fan club, don't you? Yeah, looks like I'm queen of the shit pile. Go. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Leave your ex-wife with me. Oh. We're gonna have a chat. Okay. Hey. So you and Hank, huh? Once upon a time. And you and Hank. Sorta kinda. Something. - He's really talented. - Yeah. He's talented, but... he has a really hard time sustaining it. Well, I don't know. I think maybe he just needs to find the right motivation. Oh, God, I so know where you're at right now.
You just see all this potential, right? Yeah. Yeah. Potential's exciting. Yeah, it is. But it's really hard to have a long-term relationship with someone else's potential. Especially if that is what you're looking for. I'd be careful if I was you. And I kind of was you. You're gonna get hurt. ♪ Methinks you like this one, Faith. What do you think? She likes him. I can tell. Who, Hank? Yeah. I like him. I like him as much as any guy that I choose to spend my time with. I've seen you on the arm of lots of guys. You seem to have a real connection with this one. He's a good guy. He's sweet to you. Maybe it could be a real thing. You do not have to live happily ever after with someone to make it real. Oh, be good to yourself, Faith. You deserve it. Shut up and deal. If I had to pick, I would say Fetch Live, All Over Your Face because that one has all your hits.
That's lovely, dear. So would you like to blow me, or would you prefer to have actual intercourse? God. Jeez. I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it, so... That's cute. Of course you thought about it. Mm. Do you want to go down on me? Mm. I'd prefer not to. It's a little bit intimate and also, to be honest, a little bit boring for me. Of course, because I'm just another bang to you. - Yeah. - Not at all. The knowledge that I'm giving you this gift, this opportunity to transcend your everyday suburban existence and have sex with a fucking rock star, thereby giving you a story to dine out on for years to come, that's the fun bit for me. I don't know, man. This is just so fucked up. I mean, just-- just take me, okay? I mean, that's what Rick Springfield would have done. He just tore my clothes off and stuck it in, so just fucking do what you want, but just fucking do it already, all right? Just fucking go. Go. Hey, you guys. Hey, did you read that Times article about the guy who did the thing, and then this other thing happened? I don't know about you, but I found it fascinating. Hank, I am having an intimate moment with Karen, and I will not let you spoil it with your incessant verbal diarrhea. What is it, Hank?
Are you not getting enough attention? Where is he? Where's Atticus? I haven't the foggiest, my love. Okay, well, I'm prepared to forgive him. - Why? - Well, here I was, all pissed off, calling every divorce lawyer I know, and look what come in the mail. Three, count 'em, three seven-figure royalty checks. Oh, cool. I'm so lucky. My life's fucking amazing. I mean, if he wants to eat a Mars bar out of some dirty skank's poontang, who am I to judge, hmm? Well, that is a beautiful rationalization, but I think in this case you have a right to be slightly miffed. Oh, darling, it's just sex. Why does everyone make such a big deal about it? Fuck if I know, dude. - Move. - Sorry, missus, I can't do that. Sorry, missus, I can't do that. Hello, darling. Oh. Is all forgiven? You fucking fuckface. Fuck! Are those my royalty checks? Get out of my way. I'm sorry. Ugh.
Come on. Enough of this foolish cat-and-mouse game. You are gonna fuck my brains out, and you're gonna fuck 'em out now. No means no, you know. You say no, but your cock here - begs to differ. - No, don't listen to him. He does not have decision-making authority. Do you know what it takes - to be a rock star's wife, Hank? - No. I have certain skills. I know how to give the kind of sharp and focused head that cuts through the bullshit. - Sharp? - Plenty of women out there all are licking lollipops. They're lazy. They're entitled. They think just by putting it in their mouth, that's all they need to do, but you and I know - that's just the beginning. - Right. I know how to get shit done. Now your cock's on the verge of making a decision, Hank. What's it gonna be? - Everything okay in here? - Things are not as they seem. Can you give us a fucking minute here? - You don't want to do this. - I do. No, no, no. You love your husband.
- I do. - Yeah. These are not the droids you're looking for. Fuck. Ah, fuck. Ugh, Jesus. Whoo! Thank you. That was perfect timing. I had a feeling you might need a little rescuing. Yeah. - What? - Hmm. Fuck. - I get it. - Sorry. You should go. Go, go, go. Karen. Karen, this is bullshit. He poops on people. Maybe not anymore, but he has in the past, and that is--that's a serious fucking character flaw. They've been in there a really long time. Maybe they're just talking. You know, like we're just talking. Sure. - Right. Just talking. - Yeah. My advice, just fucking move on, dude.
I'm not sure that's possible. You can't begrudge your lady for going off with Eddie Nero. Dude's fucking handsome. Yeah, but Karen's not like that. What kind of fucked up Madonna whore shit is that? What, just 'cause you love her, just 'cause she crapped out your kid, she's not entitled to bang a movie star? Well, sure she can, but that doesn't mean I can't be majorly pissed off about it. Okay. Then play it cool, man. That's the move. Never let the bitches see you sweat. Moody. That woman is amazing. Ow! Not the face. Never the face. You hit me in my face. That's a national treasure. That's an act of treason. Oh! Motherfucker! - Come on. - I think I pulled a hammie. Cocksucker. Son of a shitty, fucking-- Now the drunken master. Fuck, get away from my fucking table! God damn it. Fuck.
Oh, shit. Now it begins. Okay, then. Ladies and gentlemen, yes, I have an announcement to make. I have fucked up this storied life something proper. All my life, I have loved exactly one woman with all my heart. Have I fucked countless others? Yes. Does that make me a bad man? I-I don't think so. But, in the court of public opinion, I am a scoundrel, a rogue, a rake. Perhaps even a rapscallion. But the fact is I can't live without you, Natalie. Olly, no, put the fucking gun down. - Olly. Put it down. - Olly? Really? Olly? Did you really think he was born Atticus Fetch? It's true, Hank. I had to create Atticus Fetch. And now I have to kill him before he kills me. That doesn't make any sense. No, it makes a lot of sense actually. Yeah, he created a monster, and now he wants to kill the monster before the monster kills him. I mean, I've felt that way myself.
I'm sure a lot of people have. You're not alone, Atticus. Um, I'm sure we can work it all out. Wait, does that mean you'll take me back? Fuck no. You're a lying, cheating, fucking scumbag. Wah! - Okay, I'll take you back. - Really? - You will? - We'll figure it out, doll. I'm just gonna have to keep you on a very short leash. That sounds good. I like the sound of that. That's what this boy needs, some discipline, - a little mother's discipline. - Mommy's discipline. Okay, now, just give me the gun. Give mama the gun. Come on. Come on. There we go. Ow! Why did you hit me? It's not even fucking loaded, you pussy. Can you slow down? I don't know why you're so fucking angry. I'm not the one who disappeared into the bedroom with that fucking weirdo degenerate. You've got a fucking nerve to take issue with anything I do ever. Yes, no, I-- you're right, but what am I supposed to do, just sit there and watch it happen?
Karen, why the fuck did you come here tonight anyway? You know why? Because there's always this voice in the back of my head that says, "Maybe this time it will be different. "Maybe the stars will align, "and there will be this magic moment between us where everything will be okay again." But there's always something or someone in the way. Karen, you want me not to see anybody else, just say the word. But if you keep me at arm's length, what am I supposed to do, just sit around with a cock cage on and hope that you're gonna have some kind of epiphany about us? Do you honestly think that I care about you fucking someone else? If we're not together, I don't expect you to have taken some vow of celibacy. It's just, when I see someone look at you the way that I used to look at you, I fucking hate that. It makes me sick to my stomach. ♪ And nothing else matters ♪ And the worst part of it is that I turned into you tonight. I-I don't want to be that person. I don't want to start playing games and, like, trying to get back at you and trying to hurt you. I don't want that either. ♪ For a different view ♪ and nothing else matters == sync, corrected by elderman == You know, we have all this time together and he just doesn't like me. That little guy needs you. You are such a good parent. Your dad and I are going to finalize your adoption. There have been times where we felt criticized. Kids need discipline. Discipline will be administered the way we see fit, not the way you see fit. I'm Gwen Chambers.
You're gonna get really confused really fast. Call me. I want to fix it. I think we just need time apart. I am still in love with Sarah, and I'm planning on taking her back. I know what I want. He knows what he wants. You gotta figure out what you want. - Honey... - Yep. What's the name of that restaurant you're always talking about that you want to eat at in the city, the French joint? Oh, uh, Cafe des nuits. - Cafe des nuits. - It's so good. I want to go there. Jabbar. You know what would be great, is to go there and eat at the chef's table. I hear that's the thing to do. Ooh, yeah. Yeah, I heard that's super cool. Yeah, I heard it's super cool, super expensive, and really hard to get a reservation. Yeah. Not to mention you go there and eat all this amazing food... - Mm-hmm. - Drink amazing wine, then you gotta sit on the bridge in traffic on the way home. - Yeah. - It's, like, not even worth it. Yeah. Unless, of course-- now, this is crazy talk, but, like, maybe if you had a suite at the W hotel, overlooking the bay. Then maybe it would almost be worth it to go.
Yeah, maybe. Well, we would need something really important to celebrate, though, in order to justify that expense. You know, I can't even think of what it could be. Like, maybe like an anniversary or something. - Our anniversary. - Like a one-year anniversary. - That's what I got us! - No, you didn't. Yes, I did. We're gonna eat there, and we're gonna stay at the W in our fat suite, - and it's gonna... - Baby! be amazing and romantic. You're so good. Oh. Well, what about Jabbar? We need a babysitter. I mean, she's living here for free. She can at least baby-sit. - It's like the one silver lining. - Yeah, but you messed that up when you didn't apologize to her like I asked you to. - I'm not getting into all that. - Well, yeah-- - She's gonna be ecstatic. - No, she's not. I'm gonna be out of the house for 24 hours. - She's gonna be dancing around-- - Excuse me. She may actually like that. Yes, mom?
Jas, um, where is my suitcase? Why do you need your suitcase? I've decided that I'm going to move in with your brother. Mom, come on. You don't have to do this. - I know. - His place is too small. - It'll be fine. - You don't have to leave. It'll be fine. I would prefer to be someplace where I'm wanted. - You are wanted. - Okay. You're wanted, right? I just would like you to get me my suitcase, please. Thank you. Good morning, Crosby. Good morning. Are you still gonna ask her, though, about babysitting? - You know what? Pfft. - What? I'm just teasing. Hey. Come on. Hey, there's a taxi outside. Yeah, that printer's busted again. It took me like two hours. Gotta get this boarding pass. Boarding pass?
Where are you going? I gotta go to Minnesota... - Now? - by the way. Yeah. Can you-- you can just watch-- By the way? Yeah. I gotta go for Ruby and the school thing. She's having trouble getting enrolled. I gotta go-- I don't know. I gotta yell at some people or something, so, um-- Okay. The guy for the, uh, the tub's coming. - The tub guy? - Yeah, I got the leak. - Uh-huh? - The guy with the accent. - Anything else? - All right. No. That's it. I'll be back in like two days. - Okay, bye. - And then, um... - Mm-hmm. - We'll, uh-- you know, we gotta-- we gotta do some talking when I get back. Okay, when you get back. Have a good trip. All right, I-I'll--
- Go, go. It's okay. - I'll call you. I'll-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. - I'll call you from the car. Yeah, call me, call me, call me. Very good, Kristina. So things are looking very, very good. - That's great. - Wonderful. Your tests have come back. Your panels are good. Panels are good. Well, that's great. - That's awesome. - Yeah. That's awesome. So does that mean everything is-- that I'm clear and I'm good to go and-- I think so, yeah. We still have, you know, your final chemo to do. - Right. - After that, I'm gonna schedule you for a P.E.T. Scan. A P.E.T. Scan? What? That's like an M.R.I., right? It's a scan of the entire body. But you just said that everything was clear.
Why would I-- Wait, so is that just a precautionary thing? Why would I need a P.E.T. Scan? Well, a test showed some minor liver blood abnormalities. We think it's probably from the drugs. But just to be safe, it's something that we need to do. Okay. So wait, are you-- Is it possible that the cancer could've spread somewhere else in my body? - I just said-- - He said he doesn't think - he's gonna find anything. - Right. This is minor, maybe from the drugs. It's just something that's important for us to do once you've finished treatment. If there's anything else for us to deal with, we need to know about it. Okay. Okay. ♪ May God bless and keep you always ♪ ♪ and may your wishes all come true ♪ ♪ may you always do for others ♪ ♪ and let others do for you ♪ may you build a ladder to the stars ♪ ♪ and climb on every rung ♪ ♪ and may you stay ♪ ♪ forever young ♪ ♪ may you grow up to be righteous ♪ ♪ may you grow up to be true ♪ ♪ may you always know the truth ♪ ♪ and see the lights surrounding you ♪
♪ may you always be courageous ♪ ♪ stand upright and be strong ♪ ♪ and may you stay ♪ ♪ forever young ♪ ♪ may you stay ♪ ♪ forever young ♪ Why do I have to wear a suit? Because it's exciting. It's a big occasion. Yeah, it's fun to dress up. And, Sydney, you get to pick out a dress. I don't need a dress 'cause I'm not going to the ceremony. What? I don't think it's a good idea for Victor to be adopted. Syd... He's not truly a part of this family, and some stupid ceremony isn't going to change that. Okay, Syd-- If you want to have a private conversation-- I get that I have no choice about you going through with it, but I'm not going. I refuse to put on a dress and make believe I'm happy-- Sydney. Go to your room. - I'm already going! - Yep. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Hey. - Hi. - I got you these.
Thank you. Wow. Sure. Can I come in for a sec? Yeah. Sure. Well, I, uh-- you gave me some good advice, and I listened to you this time. I went back to Joel. - I heard. - Oh, okay. Double shifts all last week. Wow. So, I mean, I've paid off the--the window. - That's great. - Yeah. And now I should be making some money, good money. You know, and, uh... I've, uh, I started doing therapy again. And it's good. I feel great. And the, uh, pills are under control. Everything's under control. Buddy. I love you so much. I think about you every minute, I feel like, of every day. I-I know this was all my fault. But I'm really working and changing. And I feel good now. And, um,
I just hope that you can remember the bond that we have. You know? You're my best friend in the whole world. I feel like I've known you my whole life. I don't even know... What it was like before you. I don't even think about. So... I don't--I didn't, uh-- I just wanted to give you the flowers. I wasn't-- Uh... Okay, put those in water, or else they'll... ♪ I want what you want ♪ Okay. You all right? Good morning. How are you? - Hi. - Hey. - Hey! - Hi, Mary. How are you doing? Ohh, your last treatment. - My last treatment. - Yes! Thank you so much. My favorite nurse. - Aw. - You're such an angel. You're so sweet.
I just want to say thank you so much for everything you've done. We actually brought you something. You've been so comforting to us, so... Oh. - We wanted to comfort you. - My God. - Yeah. - You didn't have to do this. I mean, really. - Not just a blanket. - Ooh. - You know the way to my heart. - Something in there. - I know. - Yeah, your liver. See you got your bag thing going there. Yes, I do. Magazines, snacks. Everything ready to go. - It's all in there. Yep. - Yep. He's a good one. - Yes, he is. - Yeah. Thank you again. Hey, Adele. How you doing? Joe, hi. Hi.
Last one, huh? - Last one. - Yeah. - You're looking great. - Thanks. Hey. Hi. Hi, Kristina. What's, uh, what's going on? I relapsed. I'm sorry. It's not good, but I'm gonna fight it. I don't give up. I never give up. Hi. - Hi. - Hi. Uh, sorry, I-- do you have a couple minutes to talk? Do you want to come in? No, um, I just gotta get this all out as quickly as possible and then leave. I just, um-- I've been thinking a lot about you and I and everything, and, um, and I just needed to tell you... To be honest, tell you that, um, I still love you, and-- and I know that I'm always gonna love you because you're the one for me. And we've come through so many different things, and--and we've fought for who we are. Because when it's just us in a room together, it's amazing. And I think you know that too. I should've fought for you, and I didn't, and now I am. I want to be with you, and I know that you have your thing going on, and my ultimate goal is your happiness, but I think that I'm the guy that can make you happy.
And I think when you look inside yourself, you'll realize that I'm the one for you. Mark. And that's what I have to say. And just think about it. And then come find me. ♪ Don't you worry ♪ ♪ in there you're safe ♪ ♪ it's true you'll never be, but you'll never break ♪ Sarah, I need you to bless this as a dress shoe. So your sister Julia will think of it as a dress shoe. - Dad, I-- - She's never gonna buy that... - And you're the older sister. - as a dress shoe. She'll listen to you, Sarah. She doesn't listen to me. - Yes, she will. - In matters of fashion, dad? No. I can't help you. Not a chance. - You're gonna need to wear... - Hi. - A buck or an Oxford or-- - A buck? - Um-- - No, but, you know-- Hey, I got-- I heard from Berkeley. And? Yeah, I--
I got in. - Really? - What? Yeah. I got in. - Oh, come here. - Way to do the fake-out. - Oh, Drew! - Congratulations, grandson. I can't believe it. - Sweetheart, that's great. - Oh, my gosh. - I can't believe it. - Sarah. - I just can't believe it. - Oh. Me neither. Oh, you deserve it, honey. There's financial aid and all that. We'll make it work. So don't worry. - That's a good school for you. - Don't worry about it. - I'm very happy for you. - Don't you think? - I can't believe it. - Berkeley's a perfect school. - Yeah. - You're the first one in our family to get into college. - This is great!
- It's your first choice. - I know. - Your first choice school. - I know. - Oh, my God. Hey, um, you know, what Syd said, you know she didn't mean that, right? She sounded like she did. Yeah, well, I wouldn't worry about it. She's gonna be at the ceremony tomorrow. - I don't care. - Yes. Eh? Eh. - Right? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Victor. So she's gonna pick out the suit. That's how this goes. But why don't you go pick out the tie? - Okay. - Okay. Okay. Options? Think. I like this one. Oh, no. Oh, this is not the tie. It's cool. I like it.
- This is the tie. - This is-- Hey, do you have another one of these? - No. Honey, no. - One for a little guy, and one for-- - This is awesome. - Oh, my God. How's mom? Is she mad at me? You're good. You? S.M.D.H. S.M.D.-- Shaking my damn head. - Hmm. - What? He only speaks in text codes. I don't know. Hey, do you think that smell is permanent, or it's just temporary? What smell? That kind of musty, mother-in-law, guilt-trippy-type smell that seems to be stuck in the sheets. Don't be an idiot. - Hey. - Gimme the sheet. Why are you so upset? She wasn't even that upset. No, she was hurt. That's why. - It didn't read that way to me.
- Really? Yeah, it seemed like someone playing the victim. Plus she would love to be at Sekou's house, and he'd love to have her. Right? You're excited to have your mom. I live in a 700-square-foot apartment. Yeah, that's rough. All right, honey, check this out. Ooh, I like this. Chateau du "whit". I think you need to brush up on your French there, Kristina. Clearly, that is chateau "do it". Okay? - Oh, my God, honey. - So that's right there, okay? - You're so corny. - Here you go. Thank you for this. This is really a surprise. - All right. - It's so nice. Yeah. Just wait one second. Let me... Have a little toast. Okay. It's official? To my wife. My husband. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
We've had quite a year. - God, we sure have. - I love you. Bottoms up. - Mm. - Ahh. Mm. That is-- That's good. - Thank you very much. - Mm. Mm. Yummy, yum, yum. - What is that? Ow. - What? - Did you hurt yourself? - Ooh, ah, just... - What did you do? - One second. Ooh! Oh. - What? - What could that be? - I don't know. - Well, check it out. Okay. I'm a little scared. - Little surprise. - Cash and prizes?
Just a little surprise. - It's Hawaii. - Yep. I know what you're thinking. I checked with Dr. Bedsloe. He said it's fine. Got the whole family ready to take care of Max... - Adam, um, I-- - And Nora and Otis. It's all set. All you have to do-- pack a bathing suit and a good book, honey. I really wish that you would've talked to me before booking this trip. Don't worry about the money. We had a good month at The Luncheonette, okay? We're fine. I'm not worried about that at all, honey. We don't know that I'm healthy. We do, honey. - We don't, no. - We do. - We don't. - I talked to Dr. Bedsloe. Honey, you saw Gwen. You saw what happened to her. - I mean, she was doing fine. - I know. And then, out of nowhere, it just, like-- it came back, - and it's in her lungs. - I know that. I know that.
It's everywhere, and she's scared. I feel terrible, and I'm sorry that she's scared, but that's not you. - That's not you. - How do we know that? - We don't know that, Adam. - Yes, we do, honey. Listen to me. We don't, okay? Until I have that test, we know nothing. So I'm sorry, but I can't plan a vacation or a trip or go celebrate something... - Okay, I'm sorry. - When I don't know that I'm-- - Okay. - I'm sorry. Let's take a beat. Let's just take a beat. Okay? All right. I want you to cancel the trip. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go check on our nugget. I'll check on her. You don't-- No, it's--babe, it's okay. Thank you so much. All right. Yeah? Hi. Wow.
- You look great. - You like it? Yeah, I love that. I just got three new ones at the wig shop. Oh, yeah. Really, uh, sexy. - Brought you some brownies. - Oh. Thank you. Honey, I'm sorry. - Oh, no, no, no. - I'm so sorry. I--no, I overreacted to everything, and-- - I'm sorry. - No, I shouldn't have-- - You didn't do anything wrong. - Honey, I shouldn't have rushed into making Hawaii plans without checking in with you. Okay, most women would love that. It was selfish. I was missing you. I'm... I'm tired of sharing you with... Cancer and everybody else. I just wanted you for myself for a while. Pinky Tuscadero? - Yeah. - Yeah, and The Fonz? I love her. You're The Fonz. Heyyy.
I can get you a leather jacket. Hey. - Will you wear it? - Come here. - With no underwear? - Come here. Come here, you. Please? Mm. Hi. - Oh, wow, what's going on in-- - What? - That's good. - Oh, my--geez. What the-- what did you guys-- Didn't mom teach you how to knock? God. You having an afternoon delight - with strawberry shortcake? - All right, okay. You need to warn me about that. - Come on, hit the road, Cros. - What do you need? - Like, 38 seconds? - Get out. How does he know? I'm just kidding. Oh, my God. - Hi. - Hi.
Can I come in? Yeah. Yeah, please. I have something to say. Uhhuh? I'm going to try to make it work with Hank. I have to get my life together. I could never explain to you... How much I love you. [T] I'm gonna make it work with Hank. Um... I-I don't-- I don't know what to s-- to say. I'm sorry. Good-bye, Mark. Bye. Takes the snap, and the blitz is on! We've never seen anything like this kid! Okay, hey, careful. Oof! - I'm sorry. - Are you okay? Yeah. I'll-- I'll pay for it. - I told you to be careful. - How much is it? It's expensive. - I'm sorry. - It's okay. You don't have to pay for it.
No, no, let's just-- let's just-- how about this? Let's just go back to the no football in the house rule. - Yeah. - Thank you. All right. So you're not gonna change your mind about adopting me? Like, not have the ceremony? No. Okay. I'm never gonna change my mind. Okay. Okay. I want you to stick around. Okay. How've you been feeling? - I'm okay. - Yeah? - Thanks. - Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Thanks for, um... Everything. For being there for me. Yeah, of course. I mean-- you know, I still think about you all the time. Like, constantly. Yeah. Me too. Well, I also wanted to tell you that I got into Berkeley.
Whoh, my God. Yeah. - Drew, that's amazing. - It's pretty crazy. I know, I-- it's pretty shocking. It's incredible. Yeah, I got the letter, and the first person I wanted to tell was you. I'm really happy for you. Thank you. I got into Tufts. Are you kidding? Nope. Oh, my gosh. That was, like, in your top three. I know. - Yeah. - That's amazing. - Yeah. - That's in Boston, huh? It is in Boston. Wow. That's awesome, though. Thanks. All right, well, I just wanted to-- to say hi and-- so I guess I should-- should go. All right, well... I'll never forget you. Yeah, I'll never forget you either. - Hi. - Hi. Can I talk to you for a sec?
- Yeah. - Okay. I just had to tell you some things. Okay, um... So we haven't talked about this yet, but a few years ago, I was in a car accident. I was drinking, and, uh, it was really bad, you know. And I almost died, and it-- you know, it just made me realize that when you have people in your life that love you, at a certain point, you know, you have to take responsibility for that. And it means something, and it matters. And, you know, I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you. I love you more than I ever thought that I could love anybody. I don't want to waste one more second doing anything without you. And I need to know that you're gonna try to be strong and accept the fact that I love you and try to be responsible for that, because I'm scared, and I don't think that I can do it alone, and I don't know-- You know? Yeah. ♪ Someone hold me ♪ ♪ I'm done with this game ♪ - Okay. - Listen. There's so much in my life that's... Doesn't make sense and is not clear. But you are, okay? - We are. - Yeah. This. I love you so much. I love you so much. ♪ Fell in love and all I did was cry, oh ♪

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