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fandom.1000waystodie | # Scarf-face
"Scarf-face", Way to Die #646, is the third death featured in "That's "Mister Death" To You", which aired on July 11, 2011.
Plot.
Abdul was a terrorist who blew up a Pakistani police station, completely disregarding the fact that there could have been people inside. He was caught and was sentenced to life in prison without parole. He attempts to escape from prison by abstaining from eating for two months until he was thin enough to slip through the bars of his cell door. After escaping from prison, Abdul rejoins his terrorist friends and takes part at the feast they are throwing for him, unfortunately for him, while he is gorging on the food, he begins to suffer from refeeding syndrome (caused by eating too much too fast after abstaining from eating for a long time) and a ruptured stomach caused by the overeating, and dies of hypoxia and body poisoning.
Transcript.
Narrator: The worst thing a starving man can do is eat too much too fast.
Narrator: Refeeding syndrome.
Narrator: Abdul was a bad man who thought he can escape his fate, and find freedom. But Allah punishes the wicked who do not give thanks for their bounty. Pass the hummus, God is great!
| Scarf-face |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Scratch n' Snuffed
"Scratch n' Snuffed", Way to Die #220, is the sixth death featured in "Death Puts On a Dunce Cap", which aired on November 2, 2010.
Plot.
It's election day and the polls are closed. After being humiliated by widespread news of a sex scandal involving visits to South America to see his Brazilian mistress, Giselle, congressman Carson Harold III gets voted out of office and goes broke after his wife wins the divorce case and abandons him. After taking in all that bad news, Carson goes into cardiac arrest and drops dead.
When Carson was on one of these trips ten years earlier, he was bitten by a triatominae also known as a Reduviid Bug or Kissing Bug. After numerous visits and numerous bites, he developed Chagas' disease, which in turn led to a fatal cardiac arrhythmia. Just after his ex-wife slapped him in the face and left, Carson developd\ed arrhythmia, and died of heart failure.
| Scratch n' Snuffed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Screwged
"Screwged", Way to Die #236, is the last death featured in "Dead to Rights", which aired on February 17, 2010.
Plot.
One cold Christmas Eve night, an old widower named Bob had no friends or family to celebrate the holidays with; the reason was he a total scrooge. When he gets surprised after hearing carolers singing near his house, he smiled; not because it warmed his heart, but it was a perfect time to get rid of his rotten fruit, which he threw at the carolers. Soon after the carolers ran away from his barrage, the weather showed signs of hail. A two-pound hailstone falling at 100 miles per hour hits him on the head, fracturing his skull, killing him instantly.
Transcript.
Narrator: They say the holiday isn't the hardest time to be alone. Bob was an elderly widower who had no family or friend to share the season's joy.
Narrator: But one cold rainy christmas eve, Bob was surprised to hear the sweet voices of carolers.
Narrator: Bob smiled. Not because this idyllic scene warmed his heart.
Narrator: He smiled because it was a great opportunity to get rid off all his rotten fruit.
Bob: There!
-Narrator: You see, Bob was a total scrooge.<br>
-Bob: How you like that?
Bob: How you like that, Santa Claus? Ho-ho-ho!
Narrator: He hated Christmas, couldn't stand christmas carolers, and even Santa was on his greatest hit list.
Bob: Yeah!
Narrator: But then, after getting rid of the good cheer crowd, the weather, like his heart, got ugly.
Narrator: It turned from freezing, to hail.
Robert Fovell: So when a powerful storming of...air rushing upwards, forcing huge amounts of water being pretty condense to liquid.
Robert Fovell: Now, it chooses ice particles becoming bigger, becoming heavier and then finally, falling out of the cloud, down to the earth.
Robert Fovell: It begins hit by hail, it's gonna hurt.
Narrator: Bob didn't get hit.
Narrator: He got clobbered.
Narrator: A freak of nature 2-pound hailstone fractured his old and brutal eggshell skull.
Robert Fovell: The largest hailstone weighed about 2 pounds. That would fall and about 100 mph.
Narrator: Bob was a grumpy old man; nothing wrong with that.
Bob: Ho-ho-ho!
Narrator: But if you don't believe in Christmas,
Bob: How you like that, Santa Claus?
Narrator: just get the "hail" out of here!
| Screwged |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Season 1
Season 1 Title Card
Season 1
<a href="Season%202">Season 2</a»>
The first two episodes of Season One served as the series two-episode pilot. They were executive produced and narrated by series creator Thom Beers, and directed, co-written, and produced by Will Raee and co-written by Tom McMahon. Both episodes begin with the following disclaimer:
"The stories you are about to see are true and based on actual events. Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."
"WARNING: The deaths portrayed in this show are real and extremely graphic."
The disclaimer then cuts to a scene of a city at night, followed by images of various manners of death, either from episodes or file footages, while the voice-over reads the monologue, which appears in "comic-book" style (comic font inside yellow boxes, as in a comic book):
"The human body is remarkably resilient..."
"(note: in the following sentence, only the ALL CAPPED words are illustrated in large, red "Sin City"/"comic" font; the rest are only heard)" "Every day we fight a new WAR against GERMS, TOXINS, INJURY, ILLNESS, CATASTROPHE and Calamity.""The fact that we survive at all is a miracle...""Because, every day we live...""We face 1000 WAYS TO DIE."
The first story begins with the opening screenshot drawn as a comic, which fades to the live action. The narrator gives an account of the story as it unfolds, describing the circumstances leading up to the death and details of the death itself. The story is interspersed with expert testimony from physicians and scientists about the science of the death (what happens to the body, etc.). The story ends with another comic screenshot, over which the "Way to Die # " and the nickname for the death is typed over the image in black and red "True Crimes"/"Sin City"/"comic" font.
[edit]Episode 1: Life Will Kill You.
Originally aired May 14, 2008.
[edit]Episode 2: Hard Lives, Easy Deaths.
Originally aired May 21, 2008.
Shot months after the pilot, the remaining episodes of the first season is executive produced by Thom Beers who also created the series. Season One was written and directed by Tom McMahon. The third episode also debuted a new narrator, actor Ron Perlman, instead of Beers, who previously narrated the pilot episodes.
The episodes in the rest of Season One, while maintaining the "tongue-in-cheek" story-telling aspect of the first two shows, vary in formatting compared to the pilot. The "comic-book" styling is completely gone, as are the trivia bits between segments. Each episode opens with a voice-over by the narrator giving brief summaries of upcoming deaths, accompanied by clips. This fades to a more ominous version of the previous disclaimer: white wording on black background, while a deeper, echoing voice-over reads:
"WARNING: The deaths portrayed in this show are real and extremely graphic.""Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased.""Do not attempt to try ANY of the actions depicted."
"YOU WILL DIE!" (the word "DIE" reverberates ominously).
The disclaimer then cuts to animation depicting human figures encountering various deaths, while the voice-over reads "(note: only the ALL CAPPED words are illustrated)":
"Death...is everywhere. Most of us try to avoid it, others can't get out of its way. Every day we fight a new war against GERMS, TOXINS, INJURY, ILLNESS, and CATASTROPHE.""There's a lot of ways to wind up dead. The fact that we survive at all is a miracle, because every day we live, we face... 1000 WAYS TO DIE."
This introduction cuts to a screenshot of the "victim", framed by gray grainy film art, and information appears as being typed out onto screen: "DATE" and "LOCATION". The stories are played out as in the "Pilot Season", but end as they began, with a different screenshot of the "victim" (this time, they are usually dead), again framed in grainy film art, over which the "Way to Die # " and the nickname for the death typed over the image in black, yellow and red "True Crimes"/"Sin City"/"comic" font. Two stories are shown in this manner, then an outro to the commercial says, "Coming up:" followed by brief, clever descriptions of upcoming deaths. This is usually repeated twice. After the last commercial break, the real-life story is shown, followed immediately by the end credits, which appear as white spray-painted bold letters on a grainy film background, backed by heavy metal music.
[edit]Episode 3: Unforced Errors.
Originally aired Feb. 8, 2009.
[edit]Episode 4: Death Over Easy.
Originally aired Feb. 8, 2009.
[edit]Episode 5: Dead and Deader.
Originally aired Feb. 15, 2009.
[edit]Episode 6: Death Gets Busy.
Originally aired Feb. 22, 2009.
[edit]Episode 7: The Lighter Side of Death.
Originally aired Mar. 1, 2009.
[edit]Episode 8: The Good, The Bad, and the Dead.
Originally aired Mar. 8, 2009.
[edit]Episode 9: Death Be Not Stupid.
Originally aired Mar. 15, 2009.
[edit]Episode 10: Cure for the Common Death, Part I.
Originally aired Mar. 22, 2009.
[edit]Episode 11:.
Originally aired Mar. 29, 2009.
[edit]Episode 12: I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up).
Originally aired April 5, 2009.
| Season 1 |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Season 2
Season 2 Title Card
Season 2
«Season 1
<a href="Season%203">Season 3</a»>
WARNING: The stories portrayed in this show are based on real deaths and are extremely graphic. Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased. Do NOT attempt to try ANY of the actions depicted. YOU WILL DIE!
[edit]Episode 13: Death On Arrival.
Originally aired Dec. 7, 2009.
[edit]Episode 14: Death Bites!.
Originally aired Dec. 9, 2009.
[edit]Episode 15: Up With Death.
Originally aired Dec. 16, 2009.
[edit]Episode 16: Putting a Happy Face on Death.
Originally aired Dec. 30, 2009.
[edit]Episode 17: Bringing in the Dead.
Originally aired Jan. 6, 2010.
[edit]Episode 18: Gratefully Dead.
Originally aired Jan. 13, 2010.
[edit]Episode 19: Come On, Get Deathy.
Originally aired Jan. 20, 2010.
[edit]Episode 20: Death Watch.
Originally aired Jan. 27, 2010.
[edit]Episode 21: Waking Up Dead.
Originally aired Feb. 3, 2010.
[edit]Episode 22: You're Dead! LOL!.
Originally aired Feb. 10, 2010.
[edit]Episode 23: Dead to Rights.
Originally aired Feb. 17, 2010.
[edit]Episode 24: Dead on Dead.
Originally aired Feb. 24, 2010.
| Season 2 |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Season 3
Season 3 Title Card
Season 3
«Season 2
<a href="Season%204">Season 4</a»>
"The stories you are about to see are true and based on actual events. Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."
"WARNING: The deaths portrayed in this show are real and extremely graphic."
[edit]Episode 25: Death On A Stick.
Originally aired Aug. 3, 2010.
[edit]Episode 26: Putting A Smiley Face On Death.
Originally aired Sep. 14, 2010.
[edit]Episode 27: Stupid is as Stupid Dies.
Originally aired Sep. 21, 2010.
[edit]Episode 28: Dead Wrongs.
Originally aired Sep. 28, 2010.
[edit]Episode 29: Fatal Distractions.
Originally aired Oct. 5, 2010.
[edit]Episode 30: The End is Weird.
Originally aired Oct. 19, 2010.
[edit]Episode 31: Hurry Up and Die.
Originally aired Oct. 26, 2010.
[edit]Episode 32: Death Puts On a Dunce Cap.
Originally aired Nov. 2, 2010.
[edit]Episode 33: Young, Dumb, and Full of Death.
Originally aired Nov. 9, 2010.
[edit]Episode 34:.
Originally aired Dec. 8, 2010.
[edit]Episode 35: Cure for the Common Death, Part II.
Originally aired Dec. 15, 2010.
[edit]Episode 36: Sudden Death.
Originally aired Dec. 22, 2010.
[edit]Episode 37: Dying to Tell the Story.
Originally aired Dec. 29, 2010.
[edit]Episode 38: If You're Dead – Leave a Message and We'll Get Back to You.
Originally aired Jan. 5, 2011.
| Season 3 |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Season 4
Season 4 Title Card
Season 4
«Season 3
<a href="Season%205">Season 5</a»>
"The stories you are about to see are true and based on actual events. Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."
"WARNING: The deaths portrayed in this show are real and extremely graphic."
[edit]Episode 39: The One About Dumb People Dying.
Originally aired Feb. 8, 2011.
[edit]Episode 40: Getting A Rise From The Dead.
Originally aired Feb. 16, 2011.
[edit]Episode 41: Ready Or Not, Here Comes Death.
Originally aired Feb. 23, 2011.
[edit]Episode 42: Grave Errors.
Originally aired Mar. 2, 2011.
[edit]Episode 43: Killing Them Softly.
Originally aired Mar. 9, 2011.
[edit]Episode 44: Better Them Than Us.
Originally aired Mar. 16, 2011.
[edit]Episode 45: Dead Before They Know It.
Originally aired Mar. 23, 2011.
[edit]Episode 46: Stupid Is As Death Does.
Originally aired Mar. 29, 2011.
[edit]Episode 47: That's "Mister Death" To You.
Originally aired July 11, 2011.
[edit]Episode 48: Death, The New Black.
Originally aired July 18, 2011.
[edit]Episode 49: Death Be a Lady Tonight.
Originally aired July 25, 2011.
[edit]Episode 50:.
Originally aired Aug. 1, 2011.
[edit]Episode 51: Eat, Pray, Die.
Originally aired Aug. 8, 2011.
[edit]Episode 52: Wait, Don't Tell Me – You're Dead.
Originally aired Aug. 15, 2011.
[edit]Episode 53: Death – The Gift That Lasts Forever.
Originally aired Aug. 22, 2011.
[edit]Episode 54:.
Originally aired Aug. 29, 2011.
| Season 4 |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Season 5
Season 5 Title Card
Season 5
«Season 4
<a href="Season%206">Season 6</a»>
"The stories you are about to see are true and based on actual events. Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."
"WARNING: The deaths portrayed in this show are real and extremely graphic."
[edit]Episode 55:.
Originally aired Oct. 24, 2011.
[edit]Episode 56: Deadliest Kitsch.
Originally aired Oct. 24, 2011.
[edit]Episode 57:.
Originally aired Oct. 31, 2011.
[edit]Episode 58: Dirt Nap.
Originally aired Nov. 7, 2011.
[edit]Episode 59: Death Takes A Vacation.
Originally aired Nov. 14, 2011.
[edit]Episode 60: Wild Wild Death.
Originally aired Nov. 21, 2011.
[edit]Episode 61: Death Penalties.
Originally aired Jan. 25, 2012.
[edit]Episode 62: Die-abestic.
Originally aired Feb. 1, 2012.
[edit]Episode 63:.
Originally aired February 8, 2012.
[edit]Episode 64: Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral".
Originally aired Feb. 22, 2012.
[edit]Episode 65: Sor-Dead Affair.
Originally aired Feb. 29, 2012.
[edit]Episode 66: Locked and Low Dead.
Originally aired Feb. 29, 2012.
| Season 5 |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Season 6
Season 6 Title Card
Season 6
«Season 5
"The stories you are about to see are true and based on actual events. Names have been changed to protect the identities of the deceased."
"WARNING: The deaths portrayed in this show are real and extremely graphic."
[edit]Episode 67: Enter the Ferret.
Originally aired May 27, 2012.
[edit]Episode 68: Think Globally, Die Locally.
Originally aired June 3, 2012.
[edit]Episode 69: Tweets From the Dead.
Originally aired June 10, 2012.
[edit]Episode 70: A New App Called Death.
Originally aired June 17, 2012.
[edit]Episode 71: Death Certificates.
Originally aired June 24, 2012.
[edit]Episode 72: Crying Over Spilled Blood.
Originally aired July 1, 2012.
[edit]Episode 73: It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World.
Originally aired July 8, 2012.
[edit]Episode 74: Death, The Final Frontier.
Originally aired July 15, 2012.
| Season 6 |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Selena Shotgun
| Selena Shotgun |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Semi-cide
"Semi-cide", Way to Die #208, is the first death to be featured in "Life Will Kill You", which aired on May 14, 2008, as well as the first death in the series.
Plot.
Dating couple Jeff Stewart and Jessica Baron were making their way to Las Vegas to tie the knot. But as they clowned around at a rest stop, their day of fun came to a sudden halt when they heard screaming. They rush over to the scene discovers something that would haunt them forever. A man, Frank Soriani, got run over and cut in half by an 18-wheeler semi-truck, whose driver didn't see him, lying on the ground, while working on his Ford F-350 for a broken muffler. Because of this, he screams in pain and lies back against his truck. His upper body and legs were accidentally sent to two separate hospitals, and Soriani dies after three and a half hours of being cut in half.
Transcript.
Jessica: Supreme orange come tonight, alright?
Narrator: On a beautiful spring morning, Jeff Stewart and Jessica Baron were making their way to Las Vegas, to do what lovebirds do: tie the knot.
Jessica: What if you wrong doesn't like me?
-Jeff: Oh, wait, wait. 2 sugars and 2 creams, alright? Thanks.<br>
-Jessica: Fine.
Narrator: But as they clumped around at the rest stop,
-Narrator: they had no idea their day, was about to come undone.<br>
-Jessica: Take this for me.
Jessica: (Giggles) Stop!
Jessica: Please. Please, come on, let's just get in the car and go, we're so close.
Narrator: While mugging for their video camera, the young couple heard a terrible screaming.
Frank: (Screams)
Frank: (Screams)
-Narrator: It was coming from behind the semi-truck that had just pulled to a stop.<br>
-Jessica: Oh my god!
Jessica: Oh my god!!
Narrator: What they saw was something that haunt them forever: A man torn into clinging to life.
Frank: (Screams)
Narrator: Frank Soriani had been under his pickup truck fixing a broken muffler. The driver of the semi didn't see Frank lying on the ground below and ran him over. Severing his lower body from his upper torso. Remarkably, the poor man was still alive.
Dr. Howard Oliver: When a body is... er... would be severed in half and blown half, you see that... a lot with more victims you see it... people who get run over by a train, they cut some arm, as long as you have er... complete circulation of blood... in your body, you should survive it.
Dr. Howard Oliver: If you cut off your legs, the... circulation can still travel down the order, you go back up to the heart. You can body pass legs with no problem.
Frank: (Screams)
Narrator: With Frank still kicking, more or less, paramedics arrived to transport both halves of his body to a local trauma center.
Narrator: In a twisted fate, the anti-coup is lost in hour because each half was sent to another hospital.
Narrator: Doctors spent several hours trying to save Soriani's life. But, he finally expired in incredible 3 and a half hours after the accident occurred.
Narrator: On September 10th, 1945, Lloyd Orson chopped off the head of the chicken for that night's dinner. To his surprise, the chicken remained alive, for 18 more months. Lloyd had cut of the head, but much of the brainstem remaining intact. Like the head of his chicken was fan crate in water, through an eye grabber.
| Semi-cide |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Serenity (victim)
Serenity (portrayed by Kelley Koski) appeared in Tanks for Nothing. She is the only victim who does not have a speaking role.
Trivia.
Her scream kind of sounds similar to that of Fiona's in UninTented and Lula Mae's in Pebble Bitched.
| Serenity (victim) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sex Ray
"Sex Ray", Way to Die #629, is the sixth and final death featured in "Death Gets Busy", which aired on February 22, 2009.
Plot.
A sex crazed doctor named Dr. Montana prepares to give a patient named Mr. O'Brien a brain x-ray. Dr. Montana leaves and enters the control room, continuing to have sex with his bombshell nurse as Mr O'Brien looks on through the window, somewhat confused and amused. The nurse's butt continuously hits the x-ray machine while they have sex, subjecting Mr. O'Brien to constant bombardments of radiation for the next 20 minutes. The couple didn't realize that they were cooking a patient, until it was too late. The radiation fries Mr. O'Brien's brain, killing him.
"Mr. O'Brien is here for a brain x-ray...but even that hardly slows down our oversexed healthcare professionals. As peepshows go, this was a good one. Mr. O'Brien was getting turned on. The problem was...so was the x-ray machine."
Transcript.
Narrator: Mr. O'Brien is here for a brain x-ray...but even that hardly slows down our oversexed healthcare professionals. As peepshows go, this was a good one. Mr. O'Brien was getting turned on. The problem was...so was the x-ray machine.
Narrator: Our advice: Stay out of hospitals, unless you're horny.
| Sex Ray |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sh*t Faced
"Shit Faced", Way to Die #385, is the fourth death to be featured in "Dead and Deader", which aired on February 15, 2009.
Plot.
Why is this man standing in his bathroom doorway, holding an enema bag? A simple question with a complicated answer. Mickey is a raging alcoholic with a twist. The recent throat operation had left him unable to drink. Clarissa, his long suffering wife, has been doing her best to keep him in line, but she's no match for a life long drunk going cold turkey. That bring us back to the enema bag.
Mickey needed help with his butt-bag cocktail. At first, Clarissa resisted, but he broke her down. She rounded up a bottle of sherry and dumped it into his enema bag. The bar was now open and it’s happy hour.
Before he can get out of the bathroom, Mickey is completely hammered. Clarissa beds him down thinking he could sleep it off, but not this time. His blood alcohol level has shot up to .57 and he died from alcohol poisoning, since anything .40 and over is lethal.
Transcript.
Narrator: Why is this man standing in his bathroom doorway, holding an enema bag? A simple question with a complicated answer. Mickey is a raging alcoholic with a twist. The recent throat operation had left him unable to drink.
Narrator: Clarissa, his long-suffering wife, has been doing her best to keep him in line, but she's no match for a lifelong drunk going cold turkey.
Narrator: That bring us back to the enema bag.
Danielle Jagoda: Alcoholics will go to... extremely drinking, nail polish, various things just to get some sort of alcohol in their body. People will du- all sort of things.
Narrator: Mickey needed help with his butt-bag cocktail.
Narrator: At first, Clarissa resisted, but he broke her down.
Narrator: She rounded up a bottle of sherry and dumped it into Mr. Squishy.
Mickey: Oh! It's cold...!
Narrator: The bar was now open and it’s happy hour.
Mickey: Damn, baby...! This feels weird...!
Clarissa: Is that enough? Oh!
Mickey: The whole thing...!
Clarissa: (Crying-like laughing)
Mickey: Oh, thank you... Ah...
Jason Romero: Taking alcohol... in the rectum, um, it's very venous. There's lot of like uh, veins and certain can be absorb through the...
Jason Romero: intestines inside the rectum, um, it goes in the system, but it's gonna bypass the liver where it's... normally broken down. But 90% of them are broken down, when drink in the liver.
Clarissa: Whoa! Hold up there, cowboy! You okay?
Narrator: Before he can get out of the bathroom, Mickey is completely hammered. Clarissa beds him down thinking he could sleep it off, but not this time. His blood alcohol level has shot up to .57.
Jason Romero: Anything over... uh, .40 and up, would cause coma and death.
Narrator: Mickey's drinking days... are over.
| Sh*t Faced |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Shafted
"Shafted", Way to Die #856, is the second death featured in "You're Dead! LOL!", which aired on February 10, 2010.
Plot.
Heather, an uber-bitchy, mean-spirited office manager, treats her employees the way she always does. One day, she gets inside an elevator with her employees. However the elevator gets stuck, and Heather gets claustrophobic and desperately wants to be out of the elevator. In attempt to get out, the other employees pry open the doors to let her out. As Heather is climbing out, fate steps away. The elevator's hydraulic brakes fail and the elevator proceeds to descend, crushing Heather's abdomen/bisecting her, and she dies.
Transcript.
Heather: (To the office workers) How was it?
Narrator: Do you ever get on an elevator and wonder "what if..."?
Narrator: That's what happened to Heather.
Heather: Oh my...!!!
-Narrator: And she was extremely claustrophobic.<br>
-Heather: Okay. Alright, what was that?
Heather: I need to get out of here now.
Dr. Alex Yufik: The phobia is an irrational fear. In their mind, they're having all sorts of scenarios play out of "What will happen if this elevator stops?" And "What will happen if I can't get out?"
Narrator: Besides claustrophobia, there's another thing you need to know about Heather:
Heather: All right, well, you've disappointed me again...
Narrator: She was a major bitch on wheels.
Heather: Did you even go to college? Because this is kind of awful.
Narrator: Her nasty, cruel, streak and relentless ambition had brought her to the top of the company. But, he left a trail of resentment in her wake.
Male office worker #2: (To the female office worker) She's slept with him and now she's coming in here, just changing everything...
-Heather: Hi.<br>
-Male office worker #2: Hi.
-Narrator: It was unanimous. Anyone who worked under Heather couldn't stand her.<br>
-Female office worker: Oh my god.
Narrator: She lorded over her underlings like the wicked witch of the west. And fed off their intense hatred.
Heather: Oh, don't make that sad face.
-Narrator: Now back to the elevator.<br>
-Heather: How was it?
Heather: Oh my...!!! Okay. Alright, what was that? Was that normal?
Narrator: Her employees were surprised to see the always-confident-uber-bitch, freaking out.
Heather: I need to get out of here now.
Narrator: If she wanted out, they were more than happy to get rid of her.
Heather: Come on! Can someone open this?
Narrator: I need to get out!
Male office worker #2: Push!
Noland Sims Jr.: In the case of an elevator means stuck between floors, I would say the worst thing that you could is actually try to get out of the elevator.
Narrator: Then another passenger came on board the elevator sight unseen. His name: let's call him "fate".
Heather: (Screams)
Narrator: The hydraulic brakes on the elevator car released. The emergency backup brakes kicked in, but not before Heather was crushed.
Narrator: On her way up, Heather stepped on everyone's backs.
-Heather: Oh my...!!!<br>
-Narrator: That's why no tears were shed when she broke...
Narrator: her own.
| Shafted |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Shanks for the Memories
"Shanks for the Memories", Way to Die #116, is the sixth death featured in "Death Watch", which aired on January 27, 2010.
Plot.
Moira, a pompous, obnoxious has-been golf star, and her husband, Josh, were a married couple, taking shots at playing golf, and at each other. They would fight and insult each other at public courses while taking swings at their putters, alienating other people.
"Oh, and by the way, you know my secretary? I've been screwing her for the past six months!"
"Ha, well you know what? So have I!"
-Josh and Moira's final argument
"Mark Twain described golf as 'a good walk ruined.' For these two, it was one long bad drive."
Josh loses focus on where their golf cart is going, due to him also being drunk, and the cart rolls down the hill, until it landed...in the pit of despair. During the crash, Josh and Moira sustained fatal head and neck injuries, silencing the rude couple and there a reunited in hell.
Transcript.
Narrator: 10 years ago (1999), Moira was a rising star on the women's pro golf tour.
Moira: Josh! Come on!
Josh: Crying out loud.
Narrator: But her uncontrollable anger,
Moira: What such an A-hole!
Narrator: and her drinking caused her to wash out.
Moira: Um, I think we're next.
Grey Golfer: Uh...
Moira: Uh, yeah, we checked in first.
Narrator: Now, she and her husband Josh spent their time getting hammered, and taking a cheap shot...
Moira: (Laughs)
Narrator: at each other.
Moira: ****!
Josh: (Drunk) We're gonna practice and win...
Moira: Shut up and drink!
Dr. Alex Yufik: There are... several things that you can look in the relation to see if it's going in the wrong direction, so one that it's raw, another one is still lawing, er, another one I would ju- most significant one is contempt, if you have contempt in the relationship, that means you've really lost communication between the spouses. And that is not a very good sign for the duration of relationship.
Josh: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Grey Golfer: Trying a little golf here.
Josh: Yeah, I'm so sorry!
Narrator: The toxic pair would about as appealing as the triple boney.
Moira: SHUT UP!!
Female Golfer: What a bitch...!
Moira: Yeah, shut up...
Josh: No, listen...
Moira: How am I supposed to play golf...
Narrator: Moira's once promising golf game hit gone from ...
Narrator: to .
Moira: I hate you!!
Grey Golfer: Get him! Get him!
Old Golfer: Kill the bitch!
Moira: IIIIIIIIII hate you!!
Josh: You are the devil!!!
Narrator: Mark Twain described golf as 'a good walk ruined.' For these two, it was one long bad drive.
Josh: Oh, and by the way, my secretary? I've been screwing her for the past six months!
Moira: Ha, well you know what?! So have I!
Josh: Oh, I hate you!
Moira: I HATE YOU!
Moira: (Freaks)
Dr. DJ Green: They're at the mercy of whatever they hit... are small intestines can be torn off of their blood supply...
Dr. DJ Green: Er... ordered the chest and the... rib...
Dr. DJ Green: Our brain can also suffer from deceleration injuries.
Narrator: With alcohol and anger as their handicaps, it's no wonder these two wound up... in the rough.
| Shanks for the Memories |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sharon Stoned
| Sharon Stoned |
fandom.1000waystodie | # She-Manned
"She-Manned", Way to Die #24, is the fifth death featured in "Death Penalties", which aired on January 25, 2012.
Plot.
Lydia (Lauren Powers) is a female bodybuilder who works as a fetish actress for wimpy men, who are sexually aroused by being manhandled by a much stronger women. Hank (Chris J. Johnson) was one of Lydia's best customers. Lydia decides to entertain him by crushing a watermelon between her thighs. Lydia successfully manages to crush the watermelon, but suddenly begins to choke and dies, Sending her to heaven. Hank then runs out of the house, freaking out. Earlier in the day, Lydia had taken some muscle relaxers and decided to take a bath in order to prepare for Hank. Lydia, who is far too relaxed, ends up passing out in the tub and sinks under the water, but awakens before she can drown, but still intakes a large amount of water. Lydia died from a condition called "dry drowning".
Transcript.
Narrator: The burly and not-very-girly Lydia got paid off by making wimpy men get off. When she stupidly mixed drugs with alcohol, Lydia started flapping like a beached whale, and drowned on dry land.
| She-Manned |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Shipwrecked
| Shipwrecked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Shoots & Ladders
"Shoots & Ladders", Way to Die #79, is the fourth death to be featured in "Eat, Pray, Die", which aired on August 8, 2011.
Plot.
Ralph wanted to watch the reruns of "The A-Team "(1983-1987) on television. He had his book of rules. A dog was constantly barking and it kept him from watching his show. After failing to tell his neighbor to silence her dog, he fetches a slingshot and takes the dog down.
Suddenly, the Karma acts after Ralph's crime, a screw fell off the ladder, causing it to fold up. Ralph losses his footing and he falls headfirst onto the floor, causing fatal brain damage in the process. To add insult to injury, as Ralph lies dead, the dog recovers and resumes barking.
| Shoots & Ladders |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Shop 'Till You Drown
"Shop 'Till You Drown", Way to Die #634, is the fourth death to be featured in "Dirt Nap", which aired on November 7, 2011.
Plot.
Cecilia is selling fake designer clothes to her friend Eve for high prices, but then is thrown out by Eve's strict husband, Roger (who hates Cecilia because his wife keeps spending money on her, and Roger lost most of his money to the current economic downturn). As Cecilia leaves, she falls into the couple's swimming pool, gets tangled in its cover, and drowns, sending this con artist to hell where she belongs.
"Without hesitating, he kicked sponge-bitch out of the house, and Cecelia went from milking rich people dry... to getting all wet."
Quotes.
"You know what? You're a loser. And you don't deserve her." -Cecilia disappointed at Roger, and her last words before drowning.
Transcript.
Narrator: When Roger came home from work one day, he got an unpleasant surprise. Parked in his driveway was the car of someone he absolutely hates it:
Narrator: Cecilia.
Cecilia: I've got goodies!
Narrator: She passed herself off as a personal shopper.
Eve: What'd you bring me?
Cecilia: Oh my goodness, you're gonna love this, I brought you sooo many fabulous thanks!
Narrator: But she was really a professional thief.
Cecilia: Sparkly!
Eve: Oh my god, I love it!
Cecilia: We have to try it all of them. You ready?
-Eve: I'm ready, let's do it!<br>
-Narrator: The clothes she's trying to get Roger's wife Eve to buy, are cheap knockoffs.
Cecilia: It's so cute on you, I guess.
Narrator: By charging 30 times their value, Cecilia makes off like a bandit.
Eve: I don't know which ones to get...
Cecilia: Well, you have to get all of them, of course.
Eve: You're bet.
Cecilia: No...
Roger: What is she doing here?
Narrator: Normally Roger never gave Eve's spending a second thought. But he lost everything in the reason housing crisis.
Roger: I don't make enough money to cover all this!
Narrator: He was broke.
Roger: I told you! She's not to be in our house, she's putting a cigar all house!
Narrator: The last thing he need to see was a con artist like Cecilia, working his wife and running up his credit card.
Roger: All this stuff, goes, now!
Cecilia: You know what? You're a loser. And you don't deserve her.
Roger: (Nose laugh)
Narrator: Without hesitating, he kicked sponge-bitch out of the house,
Narrator: and Cecelia went from milking rich people dry...
Cecilia: (Freaks)
Narrator: to getting all wet.
Dr. Steven Burstein: The true irony of drowning after folding on top of the pool cover, it's not the water or the inability to swim, but being in gulfed by small amount of water, literally wrapped on top of you, by this plastic pool cover.
Dr. Steven Burstein: Constricting your movement, air exchange could not occur between the lungs and the blood vessels. Resulting in death of the subject, within the matter of minutes.
-Narrator: Cecilia was a parasite who sucked money like it was blood.<br>
-Eve: I don't know which ones to get...
Cecilia: Well, you have to get all of them, of course.
Roger: What is she doing here?
Narrator: Then one day, she sucked too hard.
Cecilia: You know what? You're a loser. And you don't deserve her.
Roger: (Nose laugh)
Narrator: And wound up...
Cecilia: (Freaks)
Narrator: liquidated.
| Shop 'Till You Drown |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Shop Till You Drown
| Shop Till You Drown |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sifu Todd Tei
Sifo Todd Tei is a Samurai Master who interviewed three deaths in the series. All of which were, of course, samurai related.
Sifo Todd Tei interviewed the following:
| Sifu Todd Tei |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sign Offed
"Sign Offed", Way to Die #298, is the first death featured in "Getting A Rise From The Dead", which aired on February 16, 2011.
Plot.
Mickey, a sign spinner, shows off his skills of spinning an open house sign to Alice, a barista. Later, Raheef, another sign spinner known as "The Dark Knight", shows up on the other side of the street, also ready to show off his skills to Alice. Mickey and Raheef then get into a sign-spinning competition. Early on, Mickey is almost hit by a car, but backs away soon enough for the competition to continue. However, later, Mickey accidentally slashes his jugular vein on the edge of the sign, which had become jagged from being hit repeatedly on the sidewalk, and exsanguinates, much to the shock of Alice.
"It was only spin-spinning that these two went at it like it was life or death. Unfortunately for Mickey...that's exactly what it became."
Transcript.
Narrator: Kids, when you think about what you want to do in life, aim a little higher than Mickey.
Narrator: He's a sign spinner. The thankless job that pays only minimum wage, but for Mickey it wasn't about money, it was all about... the spin, and he was one of the best.
Elmer Reyes: Sign spinning is a form of outdoor marketing, the employees stand on the street corners with the large arrow shaped sign, they attract attention from passing drivers. Just like skateboarding and dancing, sign spinning has a lot of moves, with names and tricks, used to just be in Southern California, now it's a national and even international.
Narrator: Mickey had been spinning at the same corner for a month, showing off for a cute barista named Alice.
Narrator: He was hoping his spinning skills would whip her libido into a steaming frothy love latte.
Narrator: And then, a challenger appeared: Raheef, known in the sign spinning world as... (Batman-like voice) the Dark Knight.
Narrator: This homeboy had the skills to pay the bills.
Alice: Oh my god!
Mickey: This guy's trash! He doesn't know how to spin.
Narrator: It was full-on spin off. Mickey was pushing the envelope... right off the curve.
Alice: Oh!
Mickey: Woah!
Alice: Careful...!
Narrator: It was only spin-spinning that these two went at it like it was life or death. Unfortunately for Mickey...
-Narrator: that's exactly what it became.<br>
-Mickey: Ah!
Alice: Oh my god! (Screams) Oh my god!!
Narrator: The tip of Mickey's sign had hit the pavement one too many times.
Narrator: Leaving a jagged corner of exposed coroplast. The shredded plastic sliced right through Mickey's jugular.
Mickey: Ah!
Dr. Steven Burstein: The jugular vein drains the brain of life, and if lacerated, it's often very catastrophic, it looks gory, the patients panic, shock is usually caused by exsanguination or bleeding out. That is the mode of death.
Narrator: Mickey could spin the heck out of a sign. Too bad he didn't stop to read them.
Alice: Oh!
Narrator: If he did, here's how it might've went down: Caution. Stop.
Mickey: Ah!
Alice: (Screams)
Narrator: Dead end.
| Sign Offed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Signed Out
"Signed Out", Way to Die #522, is the first death featured in "It's a Dead, Dead, Dead World", which aired on July 15, 2012.
Plot.
When Serena announces that she is divorcing Joseph, also known as Joe, he repeatedly injures himself in order to frame her as being abusive. He starts by slapping himself in the face and slamming CD covers at his head. Serena thinks that Joe is a bit weird and asked him, "What are you doing?" Joe hits his face with some books, then he smashes his head with a hanging stone pig head on the fireplace. Serena told him to stop and that he was crazy. Joe then proceeds to hit his head again with a wrench, causing him to spit blood. He then smashes his hand with a piano cover and hurts his leg with a piano chair, and tells that she'll never leave him, 'till death do them part. Concerned neighbors called 911, Paramedics arrive and put him on a gurney as police confront Serena, but it rolls down a hill until it hits a rock. Joe screams in horror as he is launched off the gurney and lands on top of a curved road sign, impaling Joe through the stomach.
| Signed Out |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Silly Mays
| Silly Mays |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Six Feet Plunder
"Six Feet Plunder", Way to Die #427, is the third death to be featured in "Killing Them Softly", which aired on March 9, 2011.
Plot.
Over the years, Doug and Jim never got along; when their parents died, they left Jim their entire fortune, and when Jim died, he left everything to his dog. Out of jealousy and greed, Doug now plans to rob the grave. After digging open the grave and opening the coffin, Doug takes out the jewelry Jim requested to be buried with, from a $30,000 Rolex watch to $100,000 in rings. One of the rings got stuck, so Doug took the finger off and put it back. Doug then searches for more valuables, but in the process of the heist, he had dug too close to the headstone; a few minutes after Doug takes the watch and rings, the monument topples over and falls on top of him, pinning him to Jim and crushing him to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: If you happen to see a crazy looking guy carrying a shovel, prowling around the cemetery in the middle of the night, chances are he's not the gardener.
Doug: You cheap bastard...
Narrator: Say hello to Doug.
Doug: Take care of yourself, huh?
Narrator: Doug's a grave robber. But, just for tonight. And the grave he's robbing: his brother Jim's.
Doug: You son of a bitch...
Narrator: Jim was always the favorite son. And got all the money when their parents died.
Doug: Take care of yourself, huh? We'll see about that.
Narrator: When Jim died, he left it all to his dog.
Kent Kasper: I mean a lot of stage can really rip a family apart. At the... first who will die is trying to control his money from the grave. It causes a tremendous amount of a motional difficulty. It was some very wealthy billionaires for up about leaving the majority of their money... to charity. So that the children were not fight among themselves. The charity will get lost of it.
Narrator: Doug was interested in Jim,
Doug: You greedy son of a bitch...!!
Narrator: He was after all the expensive jewelry Jim requested to be varied with:
Narrator: A $30000 watch,
Doug: Is it good?
Narrator: and 100000 in rings.
Doug: (Growls)
Narrator: One of the rings was stuck...
Narrator: So Doug just took the finger as well.
Doug: Oh, god...
Doug: Now, what else do you have, huh?
Narrator: The black sheep would finally have some of the family's riches,
Doug: What else, huh!?
Narrator: but he made a grave error.
Doug: (Screams)
Narrator: Doug, dug too close to the headstone.
Doug: (Screams)
Dr. Boyd Flinders: The way the monument has collapsed over, crushed his skull, his lungs will not be available to expand because he had so much pressure on his ribcage, the muscles could never accoumb that force, allows his lungs to expand and he basically suffocate, he would be dead.
Narrator: Doug was a family cast-off.
Narrator: But in the end, he and his brother wound up joined at the hip.
Doug: (Screams)
Narrator: And the face. And the chest.
| Six Feet Plunder |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Skid Marked
"Skid Marked", Way to Die #419, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "Eat, Pray, Die", which aired on August 8, 2011.
Plot.
A group of car thieves are practicing "ghost riding the whip" (putting the car into gear and dancing alongside it) with a stolen SUV. Two of the thieves' names are Eddie and Nick. Eddie attempts one way on how to do it. First, he starts driving, leaving the SUV in gear, jump out, run alongside it, and dance in front of it as it keeps moving, much to the impression of Nick and his three pals. Eventually, Eddie is done with his show on dancing around the SUV, but not to be outdone, Nick attempts "The Circle," which involves making the car ride in a tight circle while standing atop it. The SUV hits a parking chalk, knocking Nick from the roof of the SUV. While on the ground, the SUV comes around and runs over and breaks both of Nick's legs. The SUV then comes around another time, but this time runs over his entire body, and crushes his testicles as he screams in pain, then it crushes his stomach, chest, lungs, heart, then his neck which puts an end to his screams, then his head, and finally, his brain, killing him.
"Wanna see something go from bad to worse?"
Transcript.
Narrator: Wanna see something go from bad to worse?
Narrator: If there's any question on why this idiot died, how about this: go lay in front of a car and allow it to crush your testicles, your stomach, your lungs, your heart and finally, your brain, and then get back to me.
Alternative Description.
Description as seen on the Spike TV website
"A moron becomes another statistic in the dangerous hobby of “ghost-riding” ones car."
| Skid Marked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sky Scraped
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"Sky Scraped", Way to Die #596, is the second death featured in "Crying Over Spilled Blood", which aired on July 15, 2012.
Plot.
Alexis is a sadistic, pitiless, and mean-spirited witch who enjoys her clients' miserable reactions when she forecloses on their homes, as well as to act condescending and rude towards them if they object. Furthermore, the loans are insured, so the bank can make a hefty profit by selling off the foreclosed homes.
One day, while looking out of the window of the eighty-floor office building where she works.
Moments later, a freak wind storm, combined with the building's negative air pressure, violently implodes the window, causing Alexis to be pierced and cut down by hundreds of glass shards, killing her instantly.
Segment Description.
Description as seen on the Spike TV (now Paramount Network) website
| Sky Scraped |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Slayer Cake
"Slayer Cake", Way to Die #881, is the fifth death to be featured in "", which aired on August 29, 2011.
Plot.
Marianne, the owner of a small bakery, fires her underachieving brother-in-law, Elias, after learning of his incompetence through phone calls of unhappy customers. In a fit of rage, Elias decorates the cakes with slanderous, offensive messages directed towards Marion. Satisfied with his work, he proceeds to leave, only to trip on a tray that he had thrown onto the ground during his rage and gets a tube of icing lodged in his heart. Elias dies when enough icing is pumped in to cause a heart attack that causes his heart to literally explode.
Alternative Description.
Description as seen on Spike TV's website
"A disgruntled baker is making erotically decorated cakes for kids’ birthday parties when he slips and his heart is injected with frosting."
| Slayer Cake |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Slippery When Dead
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"Slippery When Dead", Way to Die #242, is the third death to be featured in "", which has been originally aired on August 29, 2011.
Plot.
Mariah is a cheater oil wrestler recognized by break rules as no bitting or no hair pulling, fighting for a $500 cash prize. During the competition, she faces Samantha. Samantha is a wrestler who came very close to beating Mariah the last time they fought. During the match, Mariah comes close to beating her rival once again by using cheats, only to slip and impale her skull on the spike of the antique boxing ring bell being used, killing her instantly.
Transcript.
Narrator: Mariah is ready to put Samantha away, but loses her footing, and gets her bell... rung.
Timekeeper: WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO PUT A SPIKE ON THIS BELL?!?
Narrator: Nobody likes a cheater... except in this slippery world of oil-wrestling chicks. Mariah was ready to baste her latest challenger, but, then she got... greased.
Alternative Name.
Also known as "Sleeper-y Hold" on the Spike TV website
Alternative Description.
Description as seen on the Spike TV website
"A dirty female oil wrestler gives her heavyweight challenger the sleeper hold when she fractures her skull on an antique “boxing bell.”"
| Slippery When Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Smoke-A-Doped
"Smoke-A-Doped", Way to Die #463, is the fifth death to be featured in "Gratefully Dead", which aired on January 13, 2010.
Plot.
Mindy and Lex are a nymphomaniac couple who love to get it on. Lex (who hates that Mindy is a smoker) gives her an ultimatum after she lights a cigarette after sex: Either stop smoking or there will be no more sex. Not wanting to give up sex, she places a month's worth of nicotine patches all over her body, thinking they would help her beat her addiction overnight. The excess of nicotine from the patches overloads her system and she dies of cardiac arrest.
"Mindy didn't wanna lose out on one day of Lex's boning, but if she was going to stop smoking, she wanted to get it over with. To that end, she put a month's worth of nicotine patches on her body to quit once and for all overnight."
Transcript.
Narrator: Mindy was a lot like a guy. She mush ran to get it on, and then waste time with feelings.
Narrator: Her boyfriend, Lex was the perfect match sexually. He liked to feed her addiction all day long.
Stacy Kaiser: A person who is a sex addict, isn't only addicted to the act itself. They're addicted to the experience and the pleasure that's coming from their brain. And it's something you feel like you could control, like you could go out and get more of that, and that's what often lead to sex addiction.
Narrator: Lex loved one of Mindy's addictions, but not the other.
Lex: You seriously gonna smoke now?
Narrator: In fact, he hated cigarettes, and he had reached the point where the stroken and poken was no longer worth than smoking.
Mindy: Please!
Lex: Here's the deal: If you're gonna continue smoking, no more sex for you.
Narrator: It was a no brainer. Mindy liked smoking, but she loved sex.
Stacy Kaiser: There is so much potential fear in agitation about the experience of who joined for nicotine... that it could drive a person to want to do sing rational.
Narrator: Mindy didn't wanna lose out on one day of Lex's boning, but if she was going to stop smoking, she wanted to get it over with. To that end, she put a month's worth of nicotine patches on her body to quit once and for all overnight.
Dr. Steven Kim: When you're giving yourself that huge of a dose of nicotine, er... you're actually going to overstimulate your neural system. This increase matter of dopamine could result hallucination.
Narrator: Mindy's hallucination only got worse as her pleasure centers were overloaded with nicotine.
Dr. Steven Kim: That's going to cause a summatory response um... on your heart. Because it's overworking, then your heart can fail.
Narrator: Mindy thought that you could kick an addiction with a patch job. Instead, she wound up... smoking herself.
| Smoke-A-Doped |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Smoke A Doped
| Smoke A Doped |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Smoke Stalked
"Smoke Stalked", Way to Die #459, is the second death to be featured in "Death Be a Lady Tonight", which aired on July 25, 2011.
Plot.
Kate got married to Jared, and hopes her life would be perfect. That is until, Jared's psychotic ex-girlfriend Ashley began stalking them. Over time, Ashley's behavior was overbearing to the point when it was threatening. The newlyweds decided to go on vacation to forget about Ashley's weird behavior for a while. A week later, when they got home, they think something was wrong. Kate sensed a presence. Jared smelled something. He lit a fire in the fireplace. But as soon as the hardwood took flame, the house filled up with smoke. Thinking the flue was stuck closed, Jared reached up and got the surprise of his life. It was Ashley and she's dead. It turns out that while the couple left for a vacation, Ashley decided to break into their house for more mischief. All the doors were locked and the security system was activated, so she snuck down the chimney. But she discovered there was no way out. Ashley screams for help, but no one comes to her aid. She didn't know she had the early stages of dehydration, causing her organs to fail. For seven days of being stuck in there, Ashley died of starvation and dehydration.
"Thinking the flue was stuck closed, Jared reached up...and got the surprise of his life."
Transcript.
Narrator: When Kate got married, she thought her life's going to be perfect. And it was. Until...
Kate: (Freaks of horror)
Kate: She's here! She's here!
Jared: Who's here?
Kate: Ashley!
Narrator: Ashley, her husband Jared's ex-girlfriend began to stalk the happy young couple.
Kate: Whoa! She's-She's psycho!
Jared: Ashley?
Narrator: Overtime, Ashley's behavior became increasingly erratic.
Kate: Oh!
Narrator: To the point where it was threatening.
Kate: Ooow...
Nathan McAlister: For me, the girl who dated 4 years, great relationship, but the moment we broke up, she got "nuts!" She put paint there on my $50,000 SUV, showed up to my door 3 o'clock in the morning, completely nude, this one we need it when it is far as go to my son's school and give him a note to give to me because I refused to take a call.
Narrator: The newbie was decided to take a vacation and forget about Ashley's weird behavior for a while.
Narrator: When they returned, they could tell... something was wrong.
Narrator: Kate sensed the presence.
Narrator: Jared smelled something.
Jared: Is that...?
Narrator: Maybe he forgot to empty the garbage. So he led the fire.
Jared: (Gasps)
Narrator: But as soon as the heart would took flame,
Narrator: the house filled up with smoke.
Kate: What did you do??
Jared: (Coughs) I didn't do anything! I don't know!
Narrator: Thinking the flue was stuck closed,
Narrator: Jared reached up...and got the surprise of his life.
-Kate: (SCREAMS) It's-It's Ashley!! She's got up!! And she's dead!! (Cries) Oh my god...<br>
-Jared: Ah! God!! Oh my god!! (Coughs) Oh my...!!!
Narrator: It turns out when the couple left for their trip, Ashley decided to break into their house for more mischief. The only way in: was down the chimney. But she quickly discovered there was no way out.
Ashley: Help!
Narrator: 7 days of being trapped in a hot and paralish shaft,
Ashley: In the chimney!
Narrator: left Ashley starving, dehydrating and finally...
Narrator: dead.
Jared: (Coughs)
Kate: (SCREAMS)
Jared: (Coughs)
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: Over the 5 days, she severed severe dehydration. The break-like environment to create the hot pet for the worsening the dehydration symptoms. Her skin would've shoveled up, the kidneys would've shut down, and her heart would've stop pumping, killing her.
Narrator: Ashley couldn't get over the fact that Jared chose Kate to be his wife.
Kate: Whoa! She's psycho!
Narrator: Ashley wanted to be the one who said, "I do until Death do us part".
Ashley: Help!
-Narrator: Well, at least she got part of that right.<br>
-Jared: ...I don't know!
Kate: (SCREAMS)
Jared: (Coughs)
| Smoke Stalked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Smoked
"Smoked", Way to Die #343, is the third death featured in "You're Dead! LOL!", which aired on February 10, 2010.
Plot.
Dickie and his friend Donnie smoke on his porch, and Donnie repeatedly asks him for cigarettes, not paying up for his own. Eventually, Dickie gets fed up, loads some cigarettes into a shotgun shell, and fires them at his friend's face once Donnie gets drunk as a practical joke. Unfortunately, the cigarettes get lodged in Donnie's face and brain, killing him.
| Smoked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Smother-In-Law
"Smother-In-Law", Way to Die #326, is the fourth death to be featured in "", which aired on August 1, 2011.
Plot.
Barbara, a meddlesome, sadistic, loathsome, obnoxious and overweight mother-in-law, pesters her daughter-in-law named Sabrina by nagging her about her son's food preferences. Sabrina is cooking vegetables for her husband Mitch (her mother-in-law's son). Barbara puts cheese on the vegetables when Sabrina tells her not to, and Barbara refuses to listen to her daughter-in-law. Barbara reveals to Sabrina that Mitch has lost weight since he has been with Sabrina. After learning of Mitch having lost weight, Sabrina reveals to Barbara that she's the reason why.
Taking offense, Barbara calls Sabrina a "dirty little bitch" while giving her a violent slap in the face. In anger, Sabrina stabs the knife into the wooden knife holder and leaves the kitchen. After allowing Sabrina to stay out of the kitchen, Barbara then tries to cook a frozen pizza in the fridge. The pizza was wedged in the other groceries.
The force of Barbara's tugging sends the refrigerator crashing down on her. When the freezer falls on top of her, the sharp end of the door cuts through her jugular vein and carotid artery while the rest of the refrigerator breaks her skull into pieces, and she dies instantly.
Transcript.
Narrator: Meet the mother-in-law from hell.
Barbara: What are you doing?
Narrator: Ever since Sabrina stole Barbara's little boy 3 years ago (Since 2004), Barbara has been making her daughter-in-law's life miserable...
Barbara: Was that cabbage?
Sabrina: Yeah, it's a Chinese cabbage.
Barbara: Chinese? Mitch (her son) is an American, honey, okay?
Narrator: And when it came to the kitchen, Barbara always knew what was best.
Barbara: My boy doesn't like vegetables, where's the meat?
Dr. Ava Cadell: More women have issues with their mother-in-law, because, the mother-in-law has raised their son to be a mommy's boy. Many mothers believed there is no other woman except for her, who is good enough for her son.
Barbara: Do you have any cheese?
Barbara: Oh yeah.
Sabrina: We don't need cheese.
Barbara: Hmm, hmm, hmm.
Sabrina: Barbara!
Narrator: Sabrina tried to keep her motions in check, but Barbara's carping was too much for her.
Barbara: He has lost weight since he... has been with you!
Narrator: And she boiled over.
Sabrina: Well, no wonder, look at you!
-Barbara: (Gasps)<br>
-Sabrina: Disgusting!
Barbara: Dirty little bitch!
Barbara: Get out of here!
Narrator: Now with her daughter-in-law out of the way, it was time to cook some real food.
Barbara: Aah! Pizza! Thank god!
Barbara: Oh!
Narrator: That's when Barbara got...
Barbara: (Screams)
Narrator: the cold shoulder.
Narrator: The pizza box was wedged into the freezer.
-Narrator: When Barbara yanked it out,<br>
-Barbara: Oh!
-Narrator: the already top-heavy refrigerator passed it to be the point.<br>
-Barbara: (Screams)
Narrator: And Barbara passed on.
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: The edge of the freezer door impaled her neck, severing her carotid artery and jugular vein, as well as crushing her trachea. As she continued the fall...
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: the 400 pound of refrigerator impaled her skull,
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: fracturing her skull to thousands of pieces, and causing her to have a severe brain contusion, killing her instantly.
Narrator: Everybody who has a mother-in-law can sometimes find them...trying.
Barbara: My boy doesn't like vegetables, where's the meat?
Narrator: You suck it up.
Narrator: And learn to leave each other alone.
Barbara: Get out of here!
Narrator: But then there's the bitch like Barbara,
Barbara: (Screams)
Narrator: who's better off...left for dead.
| Smother-In-Law |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Snake Du Jour
| Snake Du Jour |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Snake du Jour
"Snake du Jour", Way to Die #142, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "Death Watch", which aired on January 27, 2010.
Plot:.
Chef Wang is the head chef of an illegal underground restaurant. Why is it illegal? The foods he cook are made from endangered and protected animals. He told his assistant that his tonight's dish is a king cobra.
"Before Chef Wang had a chance to cut into his cobra, it got loose..."
He crawls on the floor and tried to capture the angry venomous snake. While attempting to catch it by charming it in order to get his attention, the angry venomous snake bites him by the face through his skull, leaving Chef Wang screaming in pain. His assistant is left completely horrified to see the infection across his face, which ironically looks like a snake's head, after he falls into a coma and dies from the snake venom and goes to hell where he belongs.
Quotes.
"I'm very careful! Come on, little devil. Going catch you. Going to make good dish. *After being bit* No! No!" -Chef Wang attempting to recapture the Cobra, right before it strikes at him with two fangs worth of karma.
| Snake du Jour |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Snakenstein
"Snakenstein", Way to Die #441, is the seventh and final death featured in "Getting A Rise From The Dead", which aired on February 16, 2011.
Plot.
Dr. Von Metsker is a scientist who is extremely interested in the process of reanimation. However, he is only able to reanimate the severed body parts of animals. Metsker soon decides to experiment by attempting to reanimate the entire body of a dead animal. He experiments on the body of a dead rattlesnake and successfully manages to revive it. However, the electricity triggered a muscle spasm, causing the rattlesnake to bite Metsker in the neck, while he is holding its' head. Metsker dies from a lethal dose of venom in his bloodstream.
Transcript.
Narrator:
Narrator:
Narrator:
Narrator: The electricity triggered muscles in the snake to sink its fangs deep into Metsker's neck, turning the living scientist into a very... unanimated... dead one.
Jules Sylvester:
Narrator: Von Metsker was a questionable quack, looking for immortality. Instead, all he found... was a new way to die.
| Snakenstein |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Snakey Breaky Neck
"Snakey Breaky Neck", Way to Die #224, is the fourth death to be featured in "Dead on Dead", which aired on February 24, 2010.
Plot.
Preston was on an adventure. A rich spoiled kid, he had paid for a guide to lead him through the Brazilian jungle so he would have something to brag about with his rich, preppy friends. But he was no Indiana Jones. One night away from his 4-star hotel and he was already regretting it. All he really wanted to do is to explore the territory hidden underneath his guide's shorts. It was a miserable Preston who laid down for much needed siesta. He woke from a dream into a nightmare. He didn't have to worry about tarantulas on Preston. The jungle was teaching Preston a hard lesson; nature is a witch. A 15-foot boa constrictor began to squeeze Preston's neck. Unable to cry for help, he was quickly running out of air and time. The snake kept tightening its grip around Preston's throat. In less than 2 minutes, he suffocated to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: The jungle was teaching Preston a hard lesson: nature was a bitch.
Narrator: Preston thought that the jungle would be a fun walk in the woods. He never thought he'd get so wrapped up in it.
| Snakey Breaky Neck |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sneeze Bag
"Sneeze Bag" (a.k.a. "15 Minutes of Shame"), Way to Die #819, is the first death featured in "", which aired on October 31, 2011.
Plot.
Melissa was working for Robert Stone, a politician. After work, Melissa invites him to stay for one drink. She slips him a roofie in his drink which drugs him and the audience finds out that she's a spy working for the opposing candidate Bumgardner. Melissa wakes up Stone after Stone wakes from his coma. The press takes pictures of Stone as if he made Melissa have a sex scandal with him. Suddenly, the flashing lights hit Melissa causing her to have the ACHOO (Autosomal Dominant Compelling Helio-opthalmic Outburst ) Syndrome and dies from bleeding in the heart due to the violent sneezing. Sending the bitch spy to Hell.
"Then, as the cameras flashed, Melissa had the mother of all sneezing fits."
Transcript.
Narrator: Then, as the cameras flashed, Melissa had the mother of all sneezing fits.
Narrator: Melissa played Stone like a pro. She set him up to knock him down. But then SHE went down.
Robert Stone: Get that thing out of My face!
Narrator: God Bless you...bitch.
| Sneeze Bag |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Somewhere Over The Railing
"Somewhere Over The Railing", Way to Die #65, is the second death to be featured in "Wait, Don't Tell Me – You're Dead", which aired on August 15, 2011.
Plot.
Margo and Diana were doing pranks in their house. Margot tricks Diana three times after applying butter on the kitchen floor, Diana scaring her and Margo using the wrong deodorant. Afterwards, Diana has had enough, she wanted to get revenge on Margot by using an airbag and placing it under a chair. Later, Diana ordered Margot to sit on the chair. After Margot refuses, she accidentally pushes Diana on her own airbag allowing it to explode and send her flying over the railing (hence the death name) and hitting the ground, which cause her head to fracture and combust killing her instantly. Margot was horrified after seeing Diana dead.
"Oops."
Transcript.
Narrator: Oops.
Narrator: In today's high-tech lethal, Margot and Diana were content providers. Their lives are reduced to digital bits and bytes stored on a server. But now, Diana's content is stored six feet underground...in her grave.
| Somewhere Over The Railing |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sor-Dead Affair
Sor-Dead Affair.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 65.
Aired on February 29, 2012.
Title Pun: Sorted Affair.
A sculptor gets frisky with his art: a prison riot takes the wind out of an inmate: a naughty parrot sends a pet sitter tumbling; a sleep eater searches for her last meal.
Penis de Milo.
Way to Die #911
On March 28, 1993, in Montreal, Canada. A sculptor chiseling away at his latest project is dumped by his attention (and sex) starved wife. Lonely, the sculptor decides to chisel a vaginal opening at the base of the statue and have sex with it. Exhausted from having sex with his work of art, he tries to get up, only to find himself stuck on the statue due to priapism. The sculptor screams for help, but no one comes to his aid. The sculptor then tries to wriggle out of it. The sculptor manages to free himself, but not before his unfinished statue crashes down on his chest, causing flail chest by shattering his ribs and asphyxiating him.
Alt names - Sculpt-A-Death
Bad Laps.
Way to Die #143
On January 6, 2005, in Crystal Lake, IL. A drill sergeant turned swimming instructor for plus-sized women turns the heat up in the pool, much to the anger of his students. The instructor then throws down a challenge: if any of his students can outswim him, then he'll turn down the pool's temperature. Wearing his wetsuit, he jumps in, and after twenty laps, the exhausted trainees finally give up. However, the sergeant dies of hyperthermia caused by his wetsuit trapping the pool's heat and causing his heart to fail.
Alt names - Final Heat
Pris-un-done.
Way to Die #181
On November 22, 1982, in New Mexico State Penitentiary. A serial killer organizes a riot against the prison guards. He waits for the crowd to move out of the area before holding a guard hostage with a shiv made from a screwdriver. When he gets held up by guards armed with tear gas guns, he threatens them, and they shoot tear gas at him. However, the canister hits the inmate in the neck, collapsing his trachea and killing him.
Alt names - Riot Whacked
Note: This segment is otherwise known as "Prison Break".
Xmas-turbator.
Way to Die #225
On November 5, 2003, in Fort Lauderdale, FL. A man with a passion for irritating his neighbors (and an ironic hatred for all things Christmas) sets up a garish, Christmas light display in his yard. His latest addition to his yard display is a booming sound system on the roof. After turning it on, he slips and gets his foot caught in the cord of the speaker system. After his cries for help go unheard, the man swings back and forth, but only succeeds in bashing his own head against the house and killing himself from extensive brain damage.
Alt names - Wreck the Halls
Polly Want To Crack Your Spine?.
Way to Die #571
On August 23, 2001, in Carmel, IN. A house sitter named Lindsey instructed not to have guests over invites her boyfriend Michael to the Mesa's residence. When they are distracted by the owner's cockatoo during a make out session, she opens the birdcage and the bird and accidentally flies to the roof. When the house sitter leans over the balcony to try and grab the bird, she slips and eventually falls to her death where she end up landed onto a glass table, and cutting her carotid artery.
Alt names - House Pest
Deep Sleep (Walk).
Way to Die #393
On May 26, 2008, in Long Beach, CA. A woman named who lives on a houseboat does not realize that she is a sleepwalker. When she sleepwalks, she eats raw vegetables or salads. During one of nightly walks the next night, she begins craving chocolate and sleepwalks out of her boat. She slips off the pier and plunges into water. And drowns before she can wake up.
Alt names - Grim Sleeper
Premature Endings.
Way to Die #1000
On March 13, 2011, at Sharon Levy Memorial Hospital. At a hospital filled with patients who are dead or near death from injuries and illnesses caused by their own stupidity or ignorance of conditions they never knew they had, a woman walks by the chaos to visit her elderly father (described as beloved, hard-working, and faithful to his family and friends) in hospice care, who dies peacefully in his sleep of old age with his daughter at his side. The narrator then looks back on all of the deaths on the show and concludes that the show is more of an instruction manual on how to live rather than a lurid docu-fiction on bizarre deaths.
Alt names - Long Goodbye
Note: This was intended as a series finale, but the show was renewed for another season.
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Sor-Dead Affair |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sp-Effed
| Sp-Effed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Space Training Trouble
| Space Training Trouble |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Spastic Surgery
"Spastic Surgery", Way to Die #711, is the first death to be featured in "Death – Putting The "Fun" In "Funeral", which aired on February 22, 2012.
Plot.
Katrina went through a recent gastric bypass surgery and is meeting her husband, whom she wants to divorce with, at a local restaurant. While she presents him with some divorce papers, Katrina then goes into a coughing fit and causes a pair of surgical forceps (which were left inside during the surgery) to rupture her stomach. Katrina then dies on the table.
| Spastic Surgery |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Spit-Ill
| Spit-Ill |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Spit-ill
"Spit-ill", Way to Die #215, is the first death featured in "Die-abestic", which aired on February 1, 2012.
Plot.
Louise is an attractive Southern Belle who is running a kissing booth at a local town charity. She refuses to kiss any of the participants on the lips, only allowing them to kiss her on the cheek. Louise is also stealing the money from the jar. Louise's high school crush named Johnny, soon comes into the carnival, and Louise is quick to make out with him. Johnny had also kept up the habit of chewing on sunflower seeds from his baseball days. Louise winds up dying from anaphylactic shock after suffering a severe allergic reaction from the sunflower seed oil.
| Spit-ill |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Splat-Formed
| Splat-Formed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Splat-formed
"Splat-formed", Way to Die #147, is the first death to be featured in "Death, The New Black", which aired on July 18, 2011.
Plot.
A cocaine dealer named T-Bone, who was also addicted to the drug he sold, goes to a disco to show off his moves and have fun. When he trips in his platform shoes, he falls and dies.
Turns out he didn't die from an overdose, but he did die in 'vein'. When he fell, the male symbol's spear tip on his necklace penetrated his neck, lacerating the jugular vein and carotid artery. Since he was on cocaine and danced at the same time, that increased his heart rate which made his heart pump blood faster. So he would've died quicker than usual.
Transcript.
Narrator: T-Bone was a small-time coke dealer,
T-Bone: So you not, man.
Narrator: who everybody the 1970s. Big hair, big shoes, and disco.
Narrator: In the 70s, cocaine use had reached an epidemic level.
T-Bone: I'm feeling good.
Narrator: Big cities were flooded with cheap cut down coke. That cost thousands of users to overdose.
Rev. Daina House: In the 70s, drugs were glamours.
T-Bone: (Laughs)
Rev. Daina House: They were in every club, it was...dangerous that we didn't feel dangerous. We had... disco balls and the bell-bottom pants and the high platform shoes and the sparkly...shirts... that was a part of a fun of it.
T-Bone: (Snorts coke) Hahahaha, I'm feeling good...!
Narrator: Tonight, T-Bone had done so much cocaine, his heart was ready to blow. T-Bone thought he could boogie his way out of trouble.
Female Singer: (Singing) Disco death, disco death!
Narrator: He fired up his platforms and burned up the dance floor.
Narrator: Finally, the big pimpin' coke dealer didn't die from an overdose...
Female Singer: (Singing slowly) Disco death, disco death!
Narrator: but he did die in 'vein'...as in... jugular.
Narrator: He lost his balance, and crushed hard with his bling slicing through his neck.
Dr. Rob Shapiro: When he hit the floor, the... male symbol with the spear tip on the end of it, penetrated his neck, lacerating his jugular vein and his carotid artery.
-Dr. Rob Shapiro: The normal resting heartrate is approximately 70 per minute. But giving the fact that our victim was on cocaine, and he was dancing, his heartrate would have been significantly increased. This increased cardiac activity...<br>
-(Ding)
Dr. Rob Shapiro: would've caused him to bleed out, that much, quicker.
Narrator: For T-Bone, life was just a party. He danced to the beat and put on a show.
Narrator: Now, he's a deadbeat, and that's... fo' sho'. Can you dig it?
Female Singer: (Singing) Disco death, disco death!
| Splat-formed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Spyanide
"Spyanide", Way to Die #621, is the fourth death featured in "Stupid Is As Death Does", which aired on March 29, 2011.
Plot.
Max was an amateur American spy who sympathized with the Nazis. After a short meeting at the park, another American (Randolph Chains) (not a spy but a do-gooder) caught up to him. Max thought his cover was blown, but the American was really trying to return his notebook that he left behind, which meant that Max jumped the gun. Max was on the run, thinking his cover was blown, took his own life after swallowing a cyanide pill, sending him to Hell he deserved.
"Rather than getting caught, Max played the good spy, and swallowed some cyanide pills he had gotten his hands on. But, he jumped the gun. His American counterpart was just a do-gooder trying to return his notebook."
Transcript.
Max: It's cold out here.
Croquet Player: Hey. Hey you!
Narrator: His cover was blown.
Narrator: Rather than getting caught, Max played the good spy, and swallowed some cyanide pills he had gotten his hands on.
Narrator: But, he jumped the gun. His American counterpart was just a do-gooder trying to return his notebook.
Narrator: Max was a traitor who deserved to die, In the end he did his country a favor, by doing himself in. "Danke schön, Dummkopf" (Thank you, dumbass).
Alternative Description.
Description as seen on Spike TV's website
In 1942, a German spy collecting intelligence on US military personnel during WWII takes his own life with liquid hydrogen cyanide (issued to him for this exact reason) when he thinks his cover is blown.
| Spyanide |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Squirreled Away
"Squirreled Away", Way to Die #274, is the sixth death featured in "The One About Dumb People Dying", which aired on February 8, 2011.
Plot.
A customer walks into a taxidermy shop, only to be scared off by Norman, who is foaming at the mouth. Norman ran a taxidermy shop deep within the woods, and found plenty of animals to not only stuff and mount, but to eat as well. One day, Norman kills a squirrel he finds in a tree, and eats it (on the rare side) as a sandwich. A few days after eating the squirrel, Norman begins to suffer from rabies because the rabies virus can live up to 24 hours within a dead carrier. The virus infects Norman's nervous system, causing him to die a slow painful death from organ failure and the inability to think properly and breathe on his own.
| Squirreled Away |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Steal-y and The Beast
| Steal-y and The Beast |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Steward-Death
| Steward-Death |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Steward-death
"Steward-death", Way to Die #701, is the fifth death featured in the Season 4 Premiere "The One About Dumb People Dying", which aired on February 8, 2011, and the fourth death to be featured in the episode, which aired on October 24, 2011.
Plot.
Valerie was an extremely irritable flight attendant on the verge of retirement after eight years on the job, On her final flight, Valerie shows her rudeness by refusing to give one female passenger a pillow when the latter politely requested one. During inflight service on refreshments, she threw packs of peanuts, pretzels, and any other foods or cans and bottles of beverages on the plane she was in. This caused the passengers to start to hate her with one passenger giving Valerie an angry glare with her response being not to give her that look.
Due to turbulence, the pilot informs the passengers to fasten their seat belts. Valerie ignores the plea, and gloats at one of the passengers. As soon as she started gloating, the fuselage of the plane cracked, and Valerie was ultimately sucked out of the plane. As she was falling to her death, due to high force winds, extreme cold, and lack of oxygen, she died before she hit the water of the Pacific Ocean.
Transcript.
Narrator: If you've ever wondered if airline travel has lost some of it's old fluster...
Valerie: It- just, come on.
Narrator: Look no further than flight attendant, Valerie.
Valerie: It's cool, take your time. We don't have schedules to maintain.
Narrator: After eight long years of handing out Peanuts and pillows, Valerie had had enough... She was retiring, and this, was her last flight.
Random Female Plane Passenger: Can I please have a pillow?
Valerie: No you may not, thank you very much.
Narrator: Valerie began this latest flight with her own "Coffee-Tea" or "Screw you" brand of service...
Valerie: Hey, sleeping beauty, it's nighttime...
Valerie: That's Peanuts.
Plane captain: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking: We're gonna give this a slight drop, just a little Turbulence. Please, fasten your seatbelts.
Narrator: The passengers buckled up, but the real turbulence was inside the plane...
Valerie: Those lips are flapping, and I'm not listening, thank you so much.
Narrator: Valerie had them ready to blow their tops, and then...
Narrator: The plane beat them to it.
Jean-Claude Demirdjian: What would cause the fuselage to crack in this particular case, uh, was a christian of bonding...
Jean-Claude Demirdjian: that was used in between the skins of the fuselage. Overtime, the bonding process...
Jean-Claude Demirdjian: didn't stick, and moister got in, moister created corrosion, the corrosion created cracks. Because of pressurization, it just ripped the fuselage open.
Jean-Claude Demirdjian: All of that compressed air, blows out of the airplane.
Jean-Claude Demirdjian: Anyone who isn't seated with a seatbelt, you're going to be sucked, literally, right out of the airplane...
Narrator: When Valerie was sucked outside the plane, she was hit by a lethal "triple whammy": 500 miles per hour of skin-shredding winds, a body freezing temperature of minus 67 degrees, and less oxygen than the top of Mount Everest... She was dead before she hit the water.
Narrator: The next time you're on a flight, keep your seat belts buckled, try to ignore the hostile stewardess...
Random Plane Passenger: Can I please have a pillow?
Valerie: No you may not, thank you very much.
Narrator: And remember, the closest exit maybe...
Narrator: Right above your head.
| Steward-death |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Stone Hard
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"Stone Hard", Way to Die #586, is a German exclusive death segment. It is the eight Death featured on "You're Dead! LOL!". The Episode first aired on February 10, 2010.
Plot.
Patrick was at an art auction, harassing and hitting on every woman he saw there. When he took it too far with one woman, she slapped him, knocking him to the floor and hitting his chest. He had fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva (FOP), a disorder that causes bones, muscles, and other tissues to scar. The impact with the ground caused scar tissue in his lungs to break off and go into his heart. He struggled to get up and hugged a mannequin before suffering massive cardiac arrest and dying while standing up.
| Stone Hard |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Benjamin Moore
In the year 1964, a helicopter crash landed in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Despite heavy damage, it led to a surprising outcome. It's the fourth escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die.
Episode: Death Over Easy
How it unfolded.
Helicopter Pilot Benjamin H. Moore was carrying a cooling tower after he heard a loud bang and the helicopter started to spin around, the rear rotor blade stopped working. The only solution was to land the helicopter and ended up nose diving into the ground destroying the entire helicopter. Benjamin survived and only exited the helicopter with a cut open nose.
Interview.
Benjamin H. Moore - Pilot
| Story of Benjamin Moore |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Chris Colwell
In Deland, Florida a skydiving accident occurred on April 23, 2003. It's the tenth escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die.
Episode: Cure for the Common Death, Part I
How it unfolded.
Chris Colwell is a experienced teacher when it comes to parachuting and today he wants to film one of his students. After a 600 meter fall Chris realizes that another student is going too fast. In an unfortunate moment the student spreads his arms to slow down and hits Chris breaking his backbone. Chris then starts to visualize his wife, and friends, and how he is going to miss those good times. Accepting fate, the parachute suddenly opens and he manages to land on the ground and survives but is paraplegic. He now tends to help others live their life, and accepts that life doesn't end because you lose a part of your body.
Interview.
Chris Colwell - parachutist
| Story of Chris Colwell |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of David Weathers
After a cobra snake bites David Weathers on January 29, 2003. It is the thirteenth and final escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die (if the escaped death segment of a news reporter isn't included).
Episode: I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up)
How it unfolded.
David Weathers owns a snake farm in Punta Gorda, Florida. He handles pretty much every type of snake and so he knows to be very careful. It all came to a panic when he gets bitten in the stomach after a cobra shoots out of a box he wanted to close. His friends immediately brought him to a hospital. Since a drop is enough to kill a person in 1 hour his friends ignore all kinds of traffic rules to save his life. After arriving at a hospital he's told that the antidote needs to be flown in from 300 km but it arrives just in time to save his life. Since then David is more careful with his venomous snakes.
"I know that I don't wanna relive anything like that ever again."
-David Weathers, relieved at the thought of surviving a cobra bite
| Story of David Weathers |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Hugh Alexander
The Hawaii Water Rescue from January 25, 1993 was one of the most dangerous water rescues ever. It's the fifth escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die.
Episode: Dead and Deader
How it unfolded.
Hugh Alexander was a tourist on Oahu, Hawaii and went missing while strong waves pulled him into a cave from which he couldn't escape the aggressive waves and exit the cave. Police officer, firefighters, paramedics and a water rescue team spent an hour looking for the missing tourist and already planned to pronounce him dead until the tourist suddenly appeared outside the cave. The water rescue team went to Hugh as fast as they could and take him back to land where he became medical treatment.
Interview.
Scott Randolph - Life Guard
| Story of Hugh Alexander |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of J.D. Bridges
On February 20, 1991, the crew on the USS Roosevelt Carrier witnessed a terrifying experience involving a jet and a crew member. It is the eight escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die.
Episode: The Good, The Bad, and the Dead
How it unfolded.
J.D. Bridges was working on the carrier of the USS Roosevelt and proved every jet for security before taking of. On the Night of February 20, 1991 things changed when J.D. Bridges stepped too close to the jet engine in a near standing position as opposed to the routine crouched position and literally got sucked into the engine. His equipment got sucked in before him, causing the blades within to break and the engine to flame out, had he gone in before his goggles and helmet, he would've certainly been juiced, he was also lucky as the cone on the blade prevented him from going any further in. It took approximately 3 minutes for the engine to shut down, after which he managed to walk away practically unscathed, aside from a broken collarbone and other cuts and bruises. The video footage of the incident has been, while in the public domain, retained by the US Armed Forces as a demonstration video for what could go wrong if you don't follow procedure.
Interview.
J.D. Bridges - former boatswain on the flight deck
| Story of J.D. Bridges |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Jessica Gaskell
The Miss Gaskell has allegedly murdered. In Sapienza, Italy. On July 23, 2019. Jessica Gaskell died from a heart attack in 1000 Ways to Die or a HITMAN™2.
How it unfolded.
Purge victim female palace staff Jessica Gaskell died from a heart attack. "You can die every day, but you can also survive situations in which every hope is lost".
Interview.
Jessica Gaskell - Palace Staff
| Story of Jessica Gaskell |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Mike Easley
The Spanaway Speedway Fire happened at the night of August 12, 2000 on the Spanaway Speedway in Washington. It's the sixth escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die.
Episode: Death Gets Busy
How it unfolded.
Mike Easley, a stock car racer, drives a long stock car race that goes on for 150 laps but on the third lap the chaos happens after a crash happens right in front of him with an explosion followed afterwards and Mike is caught in a wall of flames. The rescue team arrived to put out the fire but the fire extinguishers aren't strong enough when out of nowhere Mike appears covered in flames. The rescuers still weren't able to extinguish the fire while Mike burned for excruciating 1 minute and 30 seconds and his fireproof suit is only designed for 20 seconds. The fire was eventually put out and Mike unbelievably survived it all until he entered the ambulance. Dying twice in the ambulance, he needed to be brought back to life multiple times and dying a third and last time in the hospital being revived a third time. "Not many people die 3 times and can tell their story afterwards. Mike's philosophy is :Dying is easy, living is the hard part".
Interview.
Mike Easley - Stock Car Racer
| Story of Mike Easley |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Mike Staley
The Mike Staley Incident unfolded on February 11, 1990 on the Daytona Speedway in Florida. It is the first escaped death to be featured in 1000 Ways to Die.
How it unfolded.
Paramedic Mike Staley was chosen to be stationed at the Daytona Speedway to save the life of racers. After a racer loses control over his vehicle it crashes into Staley, sending him flying through the air with the car nearly running him over after hitting the ground. Paramedics had to fly him to a nearby hospital in hope that he wouldn't die from his injuries before he hits the hospital. Surgeons had to literally put him back together and who'd thought, Staley was still alive and serious injuries were prevented."For Staley it was the worst and luckiest day all at once"
| Story of Mike Staley |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Ron Cook
The Motorcycle Accident in Lake El Mirage, California involved a world record attempt in breaking the record for "fastest speed on a motorcycle". It's the third escaped Death.
Episode: Unforced Errors
How it unfolded.
Ron Cook's plan was it to break the record for the fastest speed on a motorcycle on the Lake El Mirage. What's unique however is that he used laughing gas for breaking the record. At the speeds of 200 MPH his bike crashes into the hard ground. The bike was a complete mess when it stopped rolling around. What's more important is that Ron is still alive but has 5 broken bones in his right leg, 4 broken bones in his right arm and many cuts and burn wounds in third and fourth degree. The record he wanted was not achieved, but a different one was "survived the fastest motorcycle crash in the world with 200 MPH".
Interview.
Ron Cook - Racer
| Story of Ron Cook |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Sergio Mayer
A traffic accident happened on March 5, 2005 involving motorcycles and one car in Mexico City, Mexico. It is the eleventh escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die.
Episode:
How it unfolded.
During filming of a commercial an overtaking car slammed into the bike of Edgar Ponce and three other actors. Sergio is the only one to not have been hit by anything during the accident.
Interview.
Sergio Mayer - Actor
| Story of Sergio Mayer |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Shannon Sohn
A News Helicopter crashes into a building in New York City on May 4, 2004. It is the twelfth escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die.
Episode: I See Dead People (And They're Cracking Me Up) (German/Italian version)
How it unfolded.
A news team of NBC is back on it's way to the headquarters until the helicopter suddenly started to freak out. The reporters, who film the fate of many victims, now become victims themselves when the blades hit the roof of a building and break down the entire helicopter. Reporter Shannon Sohn, who's inside another news helicopter, records the entire disaster and fears that her husband, who's also a reporter, might be in that wreck. She was relieved that her husband was not inside the helicopter and the crew, that went down with the chopper, survived the crash practically unharmed.
| Story of Shannon Sohn |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Shayna Richardson
The Skydiving Accident of Shayna Richardson occurred on October 5, 2005 in Siloam Springs, Arkansas. On 1000 Ways to Die it is the second escaped death.
Episode: Hard Lives, Easy Deaths
How it unfolded.
Shayna Richardson was going for her first skydive, that almost turned intro the last day of her life. After opening the parachute, she begins to spin uncontrollably and with the brake lines not working, she falls towards the ground without being able to do anything. After a loud bang after hitting the ground, it looked like she was dead, but surprisingly she survived it. She only suffered bleeding eyes, ears, nose and losing some teeth. "Yes these things can happen, someone gets involved into an accident that is usually impossible to survive and in the end does survive it, like Shayna Richardson".
Interview.
Rick West - Parachutist
| Story of Shayna Richardson |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of Sunny Moon
A Drag Boat Crash occurred at the Firebird Raceway, Arizona on February 24, 1985. It is the seventh escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die.
Episode: The Lighter Side of Death
How it unfolded.
Being a veteran in drag boat racing, Sunny Moon, he does another race reaching speeds up to 263 MPH but when pulling the brakes nothing happened and turned out to be jammed. Since nothing seemed to work on the boat he decided to jump out risking major injuries. The boat launched into the air crashing into a power line turning the boat into a fire ball. Luckily he survived the landing into the water, meaning that he would've die if he'd stayed in the boat.
Interview.
Sunny Moon - Drag Boat Racer
| Story of Sunny Moon |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Story of a Plane Crash Survivor
APlane got hijacked and crahed into the waters of Comoros, Indian Ocean on November 23, 1996. It's the ninth escaped death in 1000 Ways to Die.
How it unfolded.
While a plane got hijacked, the pilot risks a landing into the ocean with over 200 MPH. Most of the passenger are killed on impact with only a hand full of people having survived. People witnessing the crash drive with boats to the plane wreck to save the still living passengers. What's questioning though is how 120 people died and a few passengers survived.
Interview.
Plane crash survivor
| Story of a Plane Crash Survivor |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Straight To DVDead
"Straight To DVDead", Way to Die #404, is the sixth death to be featured in "Better Them Than Us", which aired on March 16, 2011.
Description.
Two men are participating in a low-budget film of the American Revolution in 1775. One of them was furious about not getting the main role, so he plotted to kill the lead by filling his pistol with gunpowder, hoping to make it look like an accident. However, it explodes due to an excessive amount of gunpowder, destroying his hand and fragments from the pistol sever his femoral artery, killing him within seconds by massive blood loss.
Plot.
A low-budget film taking place during the Revolutionary War, in 1775, is being filmed. Jim, an actor, plays a British captain. In one scene, his character duels with an American patriot.
In the next scene, he duels against the main character American hero, played by Samuel. In the scene, the hero is supposed to duel against the British captain and kill him. The crew should have done a background check on Jim, as he had secretly planned to kill Samuel. Before filming would take place, Jim had loaded his prop pistol with a real bullet ball and gun powder. Samuel's death would be seen as an accident, and it would be a perfect plan to take Samuel's trailer. In other words, Jim was secretly a criminal. When the scene is being shot, Jim fires, but his gun ends up exploding in his hand. His hand gets blown off, and the broken end of his pistol lacerates into his leg, severing into his femoral artery, with death occurring within seconds. Jim didn't know it at first, but he put way too much gun powder into his pistol which turns his pistol into a deadly hand grenade.
"Looks like his plan backfired..."
Transcript.
Duel Director: Gentlemen. Select your weapons.
Narrator: We're back in 1775. Jim is a British captain.
Narrator: He's about to duel with an American patriot.
Staff #1: Hang on, guys, I got a few...
Staff #2: Don't move.
Narrator: But it's not really 1775,
Staff #1: Hang on a minute.
Narrator: it's 2005,
Producer: Camera's on.
-Narrator: and it's a scene being shot for a low-budget movie about the revolutionary war (1775-1783).<br>
-Duel Director: 2... 3...
Director: CUT!
Producer: That's a cut! (Claps his hands) Come on, people, we're losing life here, let's go!
Female staff: MB on board.
Narrator: Samuel plays the lead. The heroic American. In this next scene, Samuel is supposed to duel with his British enemy, Jim. And kill him.
Director: Action!
Jim: (Depressed) Long live his majesty the king.
Samuel: Long live our new republic.
Producer: Jim, can you do it a little more sneering and little more arrogant?
Jim: Yes.
Staff #1: Okay, Camera A...
Narrator: But Jim is not happy. He thought "he" was going to get the leading role, but his acting was as bad as his $5 wig.
Director: Action!
Jim: Long live his majesty the king...!
Samuel: Long live our new republic...!
Narrator: The low-rent production company should have done better background checks on its actors. If they had, they would have known Jim had a criminal record as big as his ego.
Narrator: He secretly filled the chamber with a "real" lead ball. Samuel's death would be seen as an accident and the role would be his.
Peter Sherayko: The flintlock pistol was a very simple mechanism. You put the powder charge in, you put a ball on top of it, whatever the caliber was, closed the prison which ignited the powder.
Female staff: On mark.
Producer: Action!
Duel Director: And 1.
Narrator: They counted off their paces.
Duel Director: 2.
Director: 3...
Duel Director: 3.
Narrator: Soon, Jim would have the star's trailer.
Duel Director: 4.
Director: Fire.
-Jim: (SCREAMS)<br>
-Director: OH!! Oh, no!! Ow! Cut, cut, cut!
-Jim: (Cries)<br>
-Narrator: Looks like his plan backfired...
Narrator: The jealous actor made a fatal error when loading his pistol: he used way too much gun powder.
Narrator: When Jim pulled the trigger, the pistol became a deadly hand grenade. Excessive powder blew up the barrel, blew up his hand, and shrapnel from the barrel cut deeply into his leg, severing his femoral artery.
Dr. Michael Kurtz: A person who has his hand blown off from an injury, would suffer some blood loss, not major. This poor guy died because of the cutting of his femoral artery, which resulted in blood loss from his heart going to his lower extremity and that causes death.
Narrator: Jim was desperate to be a big star,
Jim: Long live his majesty the king...!
Narrator: and would kill to get that leading role.
Narrator: In the end, his death scene was...
-Jim: (SCREAMS)<br>
-Director: OH!! Oh, no!! Ow! Cut, cut, cut!
Narrator: very believable.
| Straight To DVDead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Strang-Girled
| Strang-Girled |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Strang-girled
"Strang-girled", Way to Die #366, is the sixth death featured in "Die-abestic", which aired on February 1, 2012.
Plot.
After a long day at work, Dan decides to relax by using a neck massager. Dan's cheating wife, Liz comes in complaining about her neck. Dan offers to massage it, but Liz refuses and says that she is tired of feeling like a piece of meat around him. Earlier that day, Liz hooked up with a much younger handyman, having an affair on her husband. She then takes the neck massager into the bathroom. However, when she brings the massager up to her neck, her necklace gets caught on the motor and begins to choke her. Running out of breath, Liz tries to break free from the necklace‘s grip, but the massager kept wrapping the necklace tighter and tighter around her neck, causing her to be strangled to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: Liz was a two-timing sexaholic. She didn't care if it was man or machine, as long as it did the trick, but then, right before she died, she realized, the "choke" was on her.
| Strang-girled |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Stupid Is As Death Does
Stupid Is As Death Does.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 46.
Originally aired March 29, 2011.
Title reference: Spoofs the saying "Stupid Is as Stupid Does". (Second episode to do so; first was "Stupid is as Stupid Dies".)
-- This is the Original Episode --
Chairway to Heaven.
Way to Die #219
On November 20, 2003, in Milwaukee, WI. A deadbeat dad who abandoned his family to "find himself" (an act so heinous even the narrator says he wants to kill the man) gets drunk with his friend while setting up his new house, ignoring his wife and children's pleadings for him to return home. He brings in a pilot seat from a Soviet fighter jet, unaware that it still works. He pulls the lever on the seat and is launched 10 feet into the air, crushing his skull against the roof.
Alt names - Ouch Potato
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Eye Swallow.
Way to Die #623
On February 14, 2008, in Berkeley, CA. An acrotomophiliac has sex with a woman who lost her arm in a car accident and has a glass eye. The woman puts her eye in a glass with water before continuing. When they are done, she runs to his shower and the man takes a drink from the glass with the eye, and chokes to death when he accidentally swallows her glass eye.
Alt names - Socket to Me
The Depart-Dead.
Way to Die #255
On March 25, 1991, in South Boston, MA. A group of white, teenage wannabe-gangstas from South Boston play a drinking game called Edward Fortyhands, in which drinkers have beer bottles taped to their hands and they cannot do anything (smoke, urinate, leave the room, etc.) until the beer bottles are empty. One of them spits a half-lit cigar under a couch, which starts burning the flammable synthetic stuffing, releasing hydrogen cyanide into the room. Because they cannot open the door, they suffocate on the fumes.
Alt names - Gangsta Trapped
Spyanide.
Way to Die #621
On April 17, 1943, in Norfolk, VA. A treacherous American spy working for the Nazis has a short meeting in a park. After that meeting, an American tries to return his notebook that he left behind. The spy thinks the American returning his notebook is out to get him and takes his own life by swallowing cyanide pills.
Note: This is the first intentional suicide in the series
Game Stopped.
Way to Die #126
On October 4, 2008 in Mattituck, NY. A video game addict plays for 60 straight hours trying to take down his opponents and become the highest-ranked player in the world. When his last opponent, a woman, defeats him, he furiously stands up, then drops dead, unaware that his leg veins had formed clots from being sedentary for so long and now the clots had moved into his heart and lungs.
Alt names - Game Over
Moving Violation.
Way to Die #305
On July 9, 1994, in Evanston, IL. Two ex-cons hired as moving men are helping a woman move out of her house. One of the movers steals a glass crystal flower. While packing the boxes in the truck, the van accidentally moves forward, and the man who stole the flower gets crushed by a falling box, which pushes the flower into his heart, killing him almost instantly.
Alt names - The Long Haul
Art Attack.
Way to Die #193
On June 11, 2006, in New York, NY. A pervert posing as a French artist tries to seduce women but gets rejected by one of his targets. In a rage, he punches a "sculpture" he had made from a butterfly bomb, that sends shrapnel into the man's body and kills him.
Alt names - Scrap-Nel
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Stupid Is As Death Does |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Stupid is as Stupid Dies
Stupid is as Stupid Dies.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 27.
Originally aired September 21, 2010.
Title reference: Spoofs the saying "Stupid Is as Stupid Does".
-- This is the Original Episode --
Jaw Boned.
Way to Die #444 (Note: This is the second death to have this number)
On July 4, 2004, in Orangeville, MI. A once-promising chemist has now become a drug addict who spends his days making crystal meth in the garage of his house and chewing on a 6-day-old piece of gum that he regularly dips in citric acid to keep it moist and fresh. In the man's drug-addled rush, he accidentally dips the gum in red phosphorus instead. The force of his chewing causes it to explode, blowing off his jawbone and making his brain bleed out on the table.
Alt death - Chew Bomber
Hair Today, Dead Tomorrow.
Way to Die #412 (Note: This is the fourth death to have this number)
On May 1, 1968, San Francisco, CA. A female nudist painter lapses into a coma and dies after months of digestive problems caused by her trichophagia. After eating her own hair, she vomits, and it exits her mouth and goes into the toilet. And after she continues eating her own hair, she dies from choking to death, intestinal rupturing, and internal bleeding. At the morgue, the coroners discover a trichobezoar in her intestines, which was clogged with enough hair and undigested food to cause intestinal rupturing and internal bleeding.
Alt names - Rug Munched
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Mudder Sucked.
Way to Die #620
On November 21, 2009, in Brentwood, CA. A strict, sadistic pledge master (and military brat) at a sorority bullies her pledges during frosh week. At the end of the week, the pledges are instructed to build a mud wrestling pit for a charity event, but as the pledge master continues to harass them, one of the pledges gets fed up and attacks her. The pledge master proves to be the superior fighter, with the other pledges having to drag their defeated friend out of the pit. But as the pledge master is celebrating her victory, she begins to fall into the sinkhole that was beneath the ring the pledges were building and is sucked into the ground, eventually dying of suffocation from the tons of dirt and mud pressing on her chest.
Alt names - Mudsport
Offed the Hook.
Way to Die #223
On July 17, 2003, in Black Rock, OR. A survivalist armed with a shotgun, a chain and meat hook is shown dying in three scenarios (the last of which actually happened to him): 1) Electrocuted after throwing his meat hook onto a power line so he can poach electricity for his TV, 2) Hanged on a tree branch after using his meat hook and chain to string up an elk carcass, and 3) Tripping in a ditch and performing an accidental tracheotomy after swallowing his own meat hook.
Alt names - Meathead, Meet Hook
Erecto-Phobia.
Way to Die #672
On June 9, 2007, in Washington, D.C.. A man cheating on his girlfriend gets bitten by a Brazilian wandering spider while getting some bananas out of her grocery bag. The spider's venom causes his blood vessels to dilate, resulting in a permanent erection. After having sex with two other women, the venom causes him to have a heart attack.
Note: This segment was otherwise known as "Itsy Bitsy Speter".
Alt names - Peter Pork-Her
Fansicle.
Way to Die #299
On October 19, 2009, in Cool Rapids, MI. A football fanatic paints himself in his team's colors (blue and white) and goes to a game in freezing weather. Sitting drunk and half-naked in the stands, he begins to develop hypothermia; however, no one can tell due to his blue paint and he loses the ability to speak, quickly freezing to death.
Alt names - Imbecile on Ice
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Tongue Tied.
Way to Die #517
On April 16, 2006, in Long Beach, CA. A group of teens play a game in which two of them kiss while in adjacent moving cars. The couple's tongue piercings get tangled in each other, and they are decapitated by a forklift traveling between the cars.
Alt names - Tongue Game
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Stupid is as Stupid Dies |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Succu Offed
"Succu Offed", Way to Die #229, is the second death to be featured in "Up With Death", which aired on December 16, 2009.
Plot.
A pair of exotic plant collectors had just stolen a valuable 6-foot Saguaro cactus from the Arizona desert and added it to their collection. They celebrated their newest acquisition by downing a combination of mescal and Peyote buttons (both of which derived from cacti), resulting in them getting higher than a kite. Suddenly, they experienced something rare; a shared hallucination, in which the spirit of the Saguaro that they stole spoke out to them:
"You have done wrong! You will pay for your sins! You have disturbed the Cactus Universe! You will die! DIE!"
The hallucination became too much for the two, and they ran away in fear, only to find out firsthand, how much of a "prick" Lady Karma can be. The first one tripped, landed on his back, and was impaled on an Agave plant, dying from cardiac tamponade. The other one ran into ironically, another smaller Saguaro and the needles closest to his face pierced his eye and punctured his brain.
Transcript.
Narrator:
The Spirit of The Saguaro: You have done wrong! You will pay for your sins! You have disturbed the Cactus Universe! You will die! DIE!
Narrator: Is there a "point" to this story? Don't disturb...the Cactus Universe.
| Succu Offed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Suck & Blown
"Suck & Blown", Way to Die #180, is the sixth death featured in "Killing Them Softly", which aired March 9, 2011.
Plot.
Zeke and Lyle were two scammers attempting to siphon gasoline from cars, hoping to make money by selling the gas on the black market. Siphoning means sucking out gasoline from the car gas tank with a tube. However, they were not good at siphoning and ended up swallowing more gasoline than collecting. They decided to use a traditional vacuum cleaner to siphon gas from a van faster, but the vacuum's electric fan produced a spark and when combined with all the great amounts of gasoline caused a catastrophic explosion, killing the two wannabee scammers instantly.
Transcript.
Narrator: What do we got here? A couple of losers checking out some tail?
Narrator: It's worse than that.
Narrator: Zeke & Lyle are working on new scam: stealing gas out of parked cars.
Narrator: Flocculating fuel prices have created the black-market opportunity, for creeps like these.
Miguel Porras: There is a large market for stolen gasoline, where people will bring empty gasoline trucks, large containers, to a gas station, and using large hoses, siphon gasoline... from a gas tank's underneath gas stations, operations such as these can bring millions of dollars in profits.
Narrator: But these 2 deadbeats were strictly small time.
Narrator: Siphoning works by sticking a hose into a tank, and sucking on it to create a negative pressure.
Narrator: Problem was... they swallowed more gas than they stole.
Zeke: There's gotta be a better way to do this.
Zeke: Hang it over here, come on.
-Narrator: "That" better way, appeared in the form of a 30-gallon industrial vacuum cleaner.<br>
-Zeke: Hurry up!
Zeke: Turn this baby on!
-Zeke: Oh yeah!! (Laughs)<br>
-Lyle: Woah! (Laughs)
Narrator: Looks like their 'new siphoning system' needs work.
Narrator: As the gasoline enter the vacuum, its electric fan produced a spark. And their gas sucking days were over.
Dr. Bal Raj: The shrapnel from this explosion would come out of extremely high velocity, right toward your face and head. Go within your skull, within your brain, you'll have immediate hemorrhaging within your brain, and then the will increase, causing immediate death.
Narrator: Zeke and Lyle sucked at what they did. They thought a vacuum would help.
Zeke: Turn this baby on!
-Narrator: In the end, they were just a couple of...<br>
-Zeke: Oh yeah!! (Laughs)
Narrator: gas-holes.
| Suck & Blown |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Suck Her Punched
"Suck Her Punched", Way to Die #217, is the third death to be featured in "Bringing in the Dead", which aired on January 6, 2010.
Plot.
Bobby “Sledgehammer” Jones is a light-weight promising boxer with a powerful right cross; to get that cross, his trained has a trick: question his manhood while training with a question “Are you a lady?”.
After training, we learn Bobby has a singular secret, he also cross-dresses as a woman to calm down after a workout.
"“After every workout, the macho fighter choose an unusual way to recover. He entered the locker room as a man, and walk out… a woman.”"
Outside the boxing gym, an unnamed rapist mistakes him for a real woman from behind. After the rapist attacks him and calls Jones a lady...
"GUESS WHAT!!! I AIN'T NO LADY!!!"
He punches the rapist in the temple with a powerful right with so much force that the rapist's brain compresses and bleeds out inside his skull. The rapist then passes out and dies due to blood loss and brain damage, sending him to hell as he deserves.
Segment description.
A cross-dressing African American male boxer named Bobby Jones angrily killed the unnamed rapist by punching him in the temple with a powerful right cross after the unnamed rapist mistakes him for an actual woman from behind as revenge for calling him a lady.
| Suck Her Punched |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sucked Offed
"Sucked Offed", Way to Die #301, is the third death to be featured in "The Good, The Bad, and the Dead", which aired on March 8, 2009.
Plot.
A convicted murderer and drug dealer named Carmen had been sentenced to life in a Texas female prison with no chance of parole, but she took her chances and escaped, hoping to open a meth lab after crossing the border into Mexico. On the run from authorities, she ducks into a lake swarming with leeches. The lake was at a chilly 55°F, which made it a perfect cover for the leeches to suck away at her skin. As soon as the officers leave over an hour later, Carmen crawls out of the water, but is too weak to move due to hypothermia and blood loss, resulting in death from exposure.
"With no place left to run, she hit the ice-cold water. But without knowing it, Carmen had jumped out of the frying pan, and into the fire, straight into the clutches of a hidden enemy..."
| Sucked Offed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sudden Death
| Sudden Death |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sudden Death (619)
"Sudden Death", Way to Die #619, is the third death to be featured in "Death Be a Lady Tonight", which aired on July 25, 2011.
Plot.
Steljis, a fantasy football fanatic, is a regular nuisance at his local sports bar. Steljis runs around the bar from TV to TV rooting for the players on his fantasy football team, annoying the other patrons. When he changes one of the TVs to another football game trying to find another of his players, he triggers a bar fight. Steljis completely ignores this as he's too absorbed into the game and instead chooses to mind his own business by going with the flow and being flexible.
Suddenly; fate steps in for Steljis when, during the fight, one of the fighters breaks a beer mug, and a shard of it flies into Steljis' neck, severing both his jugular vein and carotid artery, causing him to quickly and painfully bleed to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: Steljis wasn't much of a fighter, and while the tables turned, he slipped off. He was trying to catch a few more plays, but a sports fan like Steljis should know... never take your eye off the real action.
Narrator: Steljis lived in a fantasy world where nothing matters but touchdowns, interceptions, and yards per carry, but then he got mugged by reality. Mark it down, Steljis, you've been sacked.
| Sudden Death (619) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sudden Death (Episode)
| Sudden Death (Episode) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sudden Death (episode)
Sudden Death.
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 36.
Originally aired December 22, 2010.
Title Derived from: The 1995 Film of the Same Name with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Note: Not to be confused with this Way to Die Segment #619. Also, this is the fourth episode not to feature the death of a female.
-- This is the Original Episode --
Coffin to Death.
Way to Die #435
On January 3, 1993, in Kyoto, Japan. Prior to a concert, the lead singer of a popular Japanese rock band decides to emerge out of a prop coffin filled with the steam from dry ice for a theatrical entrance. However, the lead guitarist (who is feuding with the singer) decides to steal the spotlight by performing an excessively long, 3-minute guitar solo on top of the coffin, trapping the singer inside the coffin and away from fresh air, killing him from lack of oxygen.
Alt names - Holy Diver
Poker Face.
Way to Die #194
On September 8, 1938, in Joliet, IL. An inmate on death row receives a deck of playing cards from a friend to use in building a pipe bomb as part of an escape plan. He breaks a metal leg from his bed, packs it with torn-up cards and water, and sets it on his cell's heater. After waiting some time for it to explode, he picks it up only to have it detonate in his hands due to the sudden mixing of the water and the cards' flammable nitrocellulose coating. The prisoner dies from shrapnel injuries to his face.
Bed Buggered.
Way to Die #415
On October 14, 2004, in Columbus, OH. Two college roommates (a jock and a geek) share a dorm room, with the latter continually being made to leave whenever the former brings a date to the dorm. One night, the geek finally brings a date to the room, and has sex with her on top of the bunk beds while the jock harasses the two of them from below. The movements of the couple cause the top bunk to fall on the jock and fatally crush him.
Alt names - Jerked Off
Note: This segment was based on a similar sense from "Black Sheep"
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Corset Killed Him.
Way to Die #578
On January 22, 2009, in New York, NY. An arrogant, overweight, doughnut-eating ballroom dancer uses a corset to make himself look thin, but laces it too tight. While arguing with his dance partner, the corset compresses his chest and fractures one of his ribs so that it punctures his heart, causing internal bleeding and cardiac arrest.
Alt names - Corset Kills
Gone Fission.
Way to Die #692
On November 11, 2009, in Yemen. As two would-be terrorists construct a plutonium nuclear bomb, one of them accidentally drops a tungsten carbide brick on the radioactive core (due to a burp after eating a burger), causing a massive surge of radiation. The surge destroys their immune systems and both men are overcome with extreme nausea and become bedridden, eventually dying of bacterial pneumonia and asphyxiation as their lungs fill with fluid.
Alt names - WWM'D
Falling Down On The Job.
Way to Die #63
On June 7, 1993, in Boise, ID. A lazy construction worker uses a rope elevator designed for bringing tools to the upper floors of a building. On his way up, the rope snaps and he plummets to his death, when he hits the ground, he suffers multiple fractures and dies of hemorrhaging.
Alt names - Destruction Worker
Trivia: This segment has also been used for "Top 100 Deaths".
Ex-Squeezed.
Way to Die #888
In 1581, in London, England. A prisoner named Thomas Miagh is sentenced to die on a torture rack, but he is so tall that the machine cannot stretch his body. His executioner, Sir William Skeffington, then invents the Scavenger's Daughter, a device that forces the man into a fetal position while two metal arms crush his ribs and lungs. Thomas dies of blood loss and puncture wounds.
Alt names - Scavenger's Daughter
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.
| Sudden Death (episode) |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Suffer-cated
"Suffer-cated", Way to Die #820, is the third death to be featured in "Deadliest Kitsch", which aired on October 24, 2011.
Plot.
Floyd (portrayed by Martin De Boer) is a famous bike rider. He keeps a chamber in to relax. However, he trained so hard that his girlfriend moved out, leaving behind her dog, whose named was Lance. Lance needed some water, but Floyd wasn't going to give any of his water to drink. Not only that, he talked smack to Lance by calling him names. As Floyd, who injected steroids onto the vein of his left arm, went inside of the chamber, Lance reached for the water but accidentally turned off the oxygen in the process. 20 minutes later, Floyd woke up, gasping for air. He then knocked his own homemade chamber tank door side down in the process. As a result, he suffocated to death.
Transcript.
Narrator: Floyd was an amateur cyclist with visions of grange.
Narrator: He thought if he trained hard enough, he could turn pro.
Floyd: (Growls)
Narrator: He trained so hard and so often, his girlfriend moved out...
Floyd: (Growls)
Narrator: leaving behind her dog, Lance.
Lance: (Barks 2x)
Floyd: SHUT UP!!!
Narrator: Floyd was no dog lover.
Floyd: Stupid dog!!
Narrator: Lance was headed to the pound.
Narrator: Right after the town annual 100-mile race. Floyd planned on winning this race, and like many of the pros he worshipped, he was willing to take shortcuts, like using performance-enhancing drugs. And spending daily session in a hypoxic chamber.
Floyd: You lazy dog.
Narrator: A hypoxic chamber simulates a low-oxygen, high altitude environment.
Narrator: The body adapts by increasing the number of red blood cells to carry more oxygen to the muscles. It's like turbo-charging a car engine. As always, Lance was neglected and thirsty.
Narrator: If Floyd wasn't going to give him water, he'd get it himself.
Narrator: He jumped out, and accidentally shut off the oxygen to Floyd's chamber. 20 minutes later, Floyd awoke, gasping for air.
Narrator: And panicked.
Narrator: Causing his homemade chamber to topple over, landing door down.
Narrator: He was trapped and running out of air.
Narrator: Floyd desperately inhaled whatever oxygen was left,
Narrator: and exhaled his own carbon dioxide. His brain shut down for CO2 poisoning and then he died from suffocation.
Narrator: In the end, Floyd went bye-bye. And Lance? He just lapped it up.
| Suffer-cated |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sumowed
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"Sumowed", Way to Die #47, is the sixth death to be aired in "Young, Dumb, and Full of Death", which aired on November 9, 2010.
Plot.
Harold was the son of his rich father. He created a company called Ballzz and decided to have some fun with his co-workers. He started with a trust fall, but he failed to catch Jen. Then he decided to do sumo wrestling. Harold was in a sumo suit and challenges one of his workers. Over time in the process, Harold had no idea that they did it on a cliff. Harold falls down the cliff. He survives his crash but winds up fatally hit by a smart car.
Transcript.
Narrator: Today is Harold's first day on the job as Ballzz industries' new proper trainer. Harold earned his position the old fashion way. His dad owns the company.
Philip Hersh: Companies have cooperate audings with team building exercises fir one specific reason and that is to boost company moral. If you really don't know what you're doing, it can have a complete opposite effect. We wanna build team around, not build hatred.
Harold: Alright everybody, the theme for today: is trust!
Harold: Come on over, everybody! Here we go!
Narrator: Harold got the ball rolling with some team building... trust falls.
Harold: Yeah, come on!
Harold: You, come on, right over here!
Narrator: A person allows themselves to fall backwards, trusting someone'll be there to catch them.
Harold: Alright, on the count of 3, you fall back, I catch you, very simple, alright? It'll be 1... 2... 3...
Harold: and that should fall back, and I'll catch 'em.
Narrator: This guy was a bust, when it came to trust.
Harold: Next, we have... (Echo) Sumo!!
Narrator: Downing a sumo suit, and ramming the hell out of the co-worker...
Harold: Ha! Ha! Come on!
Narrator: is supposed to be fun.
Harold: Gimme some! Gimme some!!
Narrator: But Harold just wanted to prove that "he" was the best.
Harold: Come on!
Harold: Ah, forget it. I'm not feeling it. Jen, get in there.
Narrator: Jen had barely recovered from her trust fall, when she found herself the target, again,
Harold: Come on, hi-five, come on.
Narrator: and she wasn't happy about it.
Harold: Alright, show me what you got! Come on! Gimme something! Give it to me!
Jen: (Growls)
Harold: You got nothing, come on!
-Harold: Lemme see what you got!<br>
-Narrator: Explain the complete lack of sense he was famous for, Harold set up the sumo area on the edge of the stiff cliff.
Harold: (Screams)
Narrator: The new job seemed to be working for Harold. He was really on a roll.
Harold: Ah!
Narrator: Miraculously, the knucklehead survived.
Harold: Ah... Yeah!
Harold: Whoo!! Haha. I did it! I did it.
-Driver: (Honks)<br>
-Harold: Ah!!
Narrator: But his celebration was short-lived.
-Dr. George Fallieras: Virtually, every organ can be injured, when the pedestrian's thud by...<br>
-Driver: (Honks)<br>
-Harold: Ah!!
Dr. George Fallieras: ...a car's... that traveling in a high speed. Can frequently break ribs, cause traumatic injury to the lungs and major to his kidneys and causing and death.
Narrator: Harold was a rich man's son who thought he could coast his way through life,
Harold: ...and that should fall back, and I'll catch 'em.
Narrator: until he put on a sumo suit,
Harold: (Screams)
-Narrator: fell down a cliff, got hit by a car,<br>
-Driver: (Honks)
Harold: Ah!!
Narrator: and died.
| Sumowed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Sun Burnt
"Sun Burnt", Way to Die #631, is the seventh and final death to be featured in "Locked and Low Dead", which aired on February 29, 2012.
Plot.
Lionel (Alex Sanborn) is a sociopathic geek and prankster who creates a death ray from a parabolic dish and a lot of tin foil. Lionel waits until the sun's highest peak to test out his death ray, successfully burning a toy soldier, a grasshopper, a butterfly, and also burning his neighbor's hand after tricking him to put it in the sun's direction. Lionel then puts a can of beans in the beam's direction while singing the bean song, causing it to explode. The force of the explosion knocks Lionel unconscious, causing him to fall onto the cinder block platform with the back of his head facing the death ray. This causes the beam to melt the back of his skull and soon his brain.
| Sun Burnt |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Super Zero
"Super Zero", Way to Die #106, is the second death to be featured in "Wild Wild Death", which aired on November 21, 2011.
Plot.
Vigil Andy always being tired of petty crimes being committed every day, so he decides to become a superhero. Look out bad guys, here comes Red Justice.
Andy harasses these so-called criminals for jaywalking, finding stuff that belongs in the trash, and other minor crimes like that. Then, Andy finds a group of people smoking marijuana on the rooftop of a warehouse. He shocks one of the smokers with a cattle prod, but then retreats when the others advance toward him as he drops his cattle prod onto the roof. Andy then trips on his cape and, instead of flying, falls over the edge, sustaining fatal skull and chest fractures when he hits the ground.
Transcript.
Narrator: He tangoes with the teens. And when his feet get tangled, he meets a force he can't defeat...gravity.
Narrator: Andy thought if you dress and act like a superhero, you actually become one. But when he put those super powers to the test, Red Justice didn't fly, he fell.
| Super Zero |
fandom.1000waystodie | # T.K.O. Whacked
| T.K.O. Whacked |
fandom.1000waystodie | # TK Uh-O
"TK Uh-O", Way to Die #128, is the third death featured in "Enter the Ferret", which aired on March 12, 2012.
Plot.
"Poundstone" is a semi-pro lightweight female boxer who quickly rises in the ranks due to her reputation for cheap shots. She soon wants to box in the bantamweight class, due to the increase in money. Using pills and diuretics, she manages to dehydrate herself, losing enough weight to qualify for the bantmanweight class. During the match against her first bantamweight opponent, she tosses her out of the ring and receives a one-point penalty. In a fit of anger, she punches herself against the head and dies. This is because due to the lack of water in her body, her brain had shrunk and the punches caused her brain to rattle within her skull, causing massive internal bleeding.
| TK Uh-O |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Tali-Bombed
"Tali-Bombed", Way to Die #123, is the fourth death to be featured in "Death on Arrival", which aired on December 6, 2009.
Plot.
Two Taliban terrorists, Abdul and Habeeb, were preparing to load a suitcase full of explosives, so they could blow up a police station. While loading the suitcase, they were talking about famous people, like and . They set the bomb to go off at 1:45 PM (which was one hour away from the current time, 12:45 PM) Unfortunately, Daylight Savings Time took effect, so it was already 1:45. All that Abdul and Habeeb can do is to scream in horror one last time, and after a few seconds, the bomb exploded. Because Abdul was holding the bomb, the blast had a great effect on his hands, fracturing his fingers and disintegrating his arm before blowing up the rest of him and Habeeb, turning the terrorists to dust, leaving a boot that falls onto the ground, sending the two Taliban terrorists to hell, also saving innocent people from a terrorist attack.
"Abdul: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!
Habeeb: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Abdul and Habeed last words."
Transcript.
Narrator: Everybody's gotta work. Including Abdul and Habeeb. The only thing that sets them apart, they're terrorists.
Narrator: Today's assignment: Blow up a police station. A suitcase full of plastic explosive C4 should do the trick. Abdul and Habeeb are NOT suicide bombers. They are more than happy to let others feel that role. They rather build bombs and talk about their favorite topic: Western popular culture.
Habeeb: Seinfeld. Seinfeld.
Abdul: Ah! (Laughs)
-Habeeb: Miley Cyrus (Laughs).
-Abdul: Oh... Miley Cyrus. Good.
Habeeb: Canbrendias.
Abdul: Canbrendias. Good. Good. Most, beautiful one.
Habeeb: Which one?
Abdul: Angelina, E. Jones.
-Habeeb: OH! (Laughs)
-Abdul: (Laughs)
Narrator: They move on to the next step: connecting the explosives to a GPS timing device. Abdul checks his watch and sets it to blow up in hour later. By that time, they'll be watching the results of their dirty work on Alger zero.
Habeeb: Good to go.
Abdul: Good to go. (Singing Yalayala)
Abdul: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!!!
Habeeb: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Narrator: With daylight savings time in the effect, it was already 1:45. The time Abdul had set it to go off. It only took a few seconds for the GPS timer to connect to the satellite and we set the clock to the correct time. Which was now.
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: Primarily blasting an actual explosive force that used it first to first, would obviously affect his hand.
Dr. Khyber Zaffarkhan: They would fracture his fingers right before it disintegrating them. His forearm would then be ablurating in homerize. And then, as the blast way got blungered, his chest would be close to it and its head and his lungs.
Narrator: In death, Abdul and Habeeb had learned one valuable lesson about life: it's all about timing.
| Tali-Bombed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Tank Ignites
| Tank Ignites |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Tanked Girl
"Tanked Girl", Way to Die #710, is the sixth death to be featured in "Cure for the Common Death, Part I", which aired on March 22, 2009.
Plot.
Sandy (Irena Murphy) was a female scuba diver who cheated death after her oxygen tank failed and she was forced to make an emergency swim to the surface. She currently rests in a decompression chamber in order for nitrogen bubbles in her body to dissolve into her bloodstream. Sandy must wait hours before she can exit. But Sandy doesn't mind; she prefers boredom over death. Unfortunately, a maintenance worker at the scuba center accidentally opens the hatch to the chamber. In a nanosecond, the pressure is released into the chamber causing the nitrogen in Sandy's body to mix with oxygen and expand. Sandy explodes, literally, and is sent straight to heaven.
"Unfortunately, the Grim Reaper had other plans for this sexy scuba goddess."
Transcript.
Narrator: This shapely red head, looks like she's ready for her next tanning session. But looks can be deceiving. Sandy is a deep sea diver. A few hours ago, she narrowly escaped death after her air tanks fail at the death of 350 feet. She had to make an emergency swim to the surface. As any diver knows, this could bring on a fatal attack of the bends.
Mike Segda: When we go down to the water, we're absorbing more nitrogen into our bodies. The air that we breath in... here at... just on the atmosphere's about 20% oxygen, about 80% of nitrogen.
Mike Segda: So be like shaking up a soda bottle, trying to open it up very quickly if you come up to the surface very fast.
Narrator: Now she's in the decompression chamber, waving it out while the deadly nitrogen bubbles slowly dissolve back into her blood stream.
Mike Segda: If you down to say a 100 feet, and you come up nice and slow, the gas can be slowly... expelled from the... the blood... to the lungs and you can exhale it out.
Narrator: It's going to be hours before she can exit the chamber. But she's lucky to be alive and she knows it. She'll take boredom over death... anyday.
Narrator: Unfortunately, the Grim Reaper had other plans for this sexy scuba goddess.
Narrator: A maintenance worker at the scuba center accidentally opens the hatch to the decompression chamber.
Sandy: (Screams for help)
Narrator: In a nanosecond, Sandy goes from sexy...
Sandy: (Screams for help)
Narrator: to splattered, all over the chamber.
Mike Segda: If er... you go from 7 atmospheres when atmosphere in the blink of an eye, it's- it's pretty much ideal. It's- It's over.
| Tanked Girl |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Tanks For Nothing
"Tanks For Nothing", Way to Die #113, is the first death featured in "Come On, Get Deathy", which aired on January 20, 2010.
Plot.
A devout Buddhist woman named Serenity (Kelley Koski) practices yoga and meditation, hoping to achieve what the Buddhists refer to as "Satori". To relax her mind, she prepares to enter in a homemade isolation tank full of warm water. As she is changing into something more comfortable for the tank, a Florida water moccasin enters her home and crawls inside the tank for warmth. Serenity fails to notice the venomous snake due to her blissed out state as it crawls up her body and bites her on the left side of her jaw, subjecting her to a lethal dose of venom.
"In her blissed-out state, Serenity had no idea she wasn't alone."
Transcript.
Narrator: In the new age on clave of St. Augustine, Florida, Serenity was on the quest for what Buddhist called: Satori, which means enlightening. Everyday she let it discipline regimen of yoga exercises, and meditation, all with the goal of free her mind, and becoming one with the universe.
Narrator: The centerpiece of her request for nirvana, was a homemade isolation tank.
Doc Barham: As you lie there in the dark one liquid, that's heated to your external skin temperature, you begin to sort of lose the sense of your body space. You know, the boundaries of where you and then where the water begins, it's extremely peaceful and blissful when you come out of the tank after about an hour or 2.
Narrator: St. Augustine is home to many spiritual cigars like Serenity.
Narrator: It's also home to the . An extremely venomous snake. As Serenity got herself into something more comfortable, the snake, got itself, into the nice warm tank.
Sean Roach: Snakes are . Like all reptiles, they actually have to...raise the body temperature by seeking some sort of...external means to...elevate the temperature. Usually, they're gonna bask in the sun, but if it's nighttime, they're gonna seek out whatever what they can find.
Narrator: Once inside the tank, Serenity's mind was free to wonder the cosmos.
Narrator: In her blissed-out state, Serenity had no idea she wasn't alone.
Narrator: The snake, followed her its own bliss and bit her.
Serenity: (Happy Wheel's scream)
-Sean Roach: The water moccasin being a pit viper arise on a very strong venom,<br>
-Serenity: (Happy Wheel's scream)
Sean Roach: that carries which is gonna break down any sort of... muscle tissue.
Sean Roach: That toxin is injected through 2 needle-like fangs, going into the muscles, and it can actually go into the heart, and that is definitely gonna result in a fatal bite.
Narrator: Serenity was looking for paradise in Earth. She should've realized in every Eden, there's always a snake to watch out for.
| Tanks For Nothing |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Tapped Out
"Tapped Out", Way to Die #597, is the fifth death featured in "Hurry Up and Die", which aired on October 26, 2010.
Plot.
Two aspiring amateur wrestlers named Stink Face and Dirt Bomb with dreams of going pro assault each other with increasingly insane objects, including fluorescent light bulbs. During practice, one wrestler slashes his partner in the chest with a weed whacker. The first wrestler collapses and dies. Stink Face and Dirt Bomb did not realize it but fluorescent bulbs contain a mercury vapor. When Stink Face sucked the mercury in, the mercury caused his air sacs to turn black, along with his lungs and heart. The mercury also entered his blood stream through the open staple wounds on his chest.
Transcript.
Narrator: Looks like it still needs work. But hold on... Shouldn't the guy that just got whacked fall down?
Narrator: Stink Face and Dirt Bomb were talentless, clueless, and now one of them...is lifeless.
Foreign Names.
Apagado (Lights out) - Latin American dub
| Tapped Out |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Tea Bagged
"Tea Bagged", Way to Die #440, is the seventh death to be featured in "", which aired on August 1, 2011.
Plot.
Musket Mary, a mayoral candidate with no political knowledge (and parody of Sarah Palin) gives an energetic speech to her followers and political rivals, the latter seeing her as an insane woman. During the speech, she carries a prop rifle, waving it around. While letting out an energetic howl, Musket Mary suffers a hemorrhagic stroke due to her high-energy yelling, and, during the stroke, impales herself through the chin on the tip of her bayonet, piercing her brain, much to the shock of the audience.
| Tea Bagged |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Teller She's Dead
"Teller She's Dead", Way to Die #644, is the first death to be featured in "Wild Wild Death", which aired on November 21, 2011.
Plot.
The Liekowski Savings and Loan bank was ready to close for the day. Sarah, the bank's assistant manager, stays late to close up. However, a bank robber named Tracey knocks out security guard Norm and orders Sarah to open the safe so she could relieve the bank of its money. However, this was "too" easy of a job, because Tracey is Sarah's best friend, and they had secretly planned the bank robbery. This plan would put them on easy street for the rest of their lives. After Sarah tells Tracey to stick to the plan, Tracey locks Sarah in the safe, as planned, and triggers the fire alarm on her way out. Sarah thought that she would later get rescued, also part of the plan. However, she doesn't count on the fire suppression system using carbon dioxide. Once it goes off, Sarah, having no way out, suffocates to death.
| Teller She's Dead |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Ten-Ass Anyone?
"Ten-Ass Anyone?", Way to Die #425, is the first death featured in "Crying Over Spilled Blood", which aired on July 15, 2012.
Plot.
Mike and Matt are two tennis wannabes who idolize 70's tennis players John McEnroe and Bjorn Borg. The pair even hired their own chair umpire to look over their tennis matches. Even two girls, who like Mike even more than Matt. Much like John McEnroe, Matt had a fiery temper and would frequently insult the chair umpire for his calls. After losing the match to Mike, Matt breaks his wooden racket and takes the handle prepared to stab and kill the chair umpire. However, the chair umpire leaves the chair which causes it to topple over as Matt climbs it, who can only yell out that he's going to kill the umpire. The fall causes the racket's handle to impale Matt in the rectum, causing massive internal bleeding and the leakage of stool into the pelvis, and killing him.
Trivia.
Clay Van Sickle (Unnamed Umpire), also portrayed Murph from S*** Canned and Harold from Sumowed.
| Ten-Ass Anyone? |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Tent of Dehydration
| Tent of Dehydration |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Tenta-killed
"Tenta-killed", Way to Die #959, is the first death to be featured in "Death Puts On a Dunce Cap", which aired on November 2, 2010.
Plot.
Despite living a comfortable American life in Seattle and being a US citizen, Kim remains an overprotective and traditional South Korean father despite his wife and daughter Sook adopting and adjusting well to American culture. In many ways, Kim always scares away his daughter Sook's suitors.
One day, he plans to separate Sook from her Korean American boyfriend Reed by inviting him for a traditional Korean dinner. After Reed eats live prawn and sea worms, he cried uncle when Kim requests for him to swallow a live baby octopus whole. When Reed refuses to eat the octopus, Kim eats his own, only for the baby octopus' suction cups to attach itself to Kim's trachea. Despite his wife's attempt to perform a Heimlich maneuver, Kim ultimately asphyxiates to death.
Transcript.
Reed: "안녕하세요. 안녕하세요. (Annyeonghaseyo. Annyeonghaseyo.)" ((To Ms. Kim) Hello. (To Kim) Hello.)
Narrator: Kim was a stubborn and very traditional Korean-American father, who believed no one was good enough for his daughter Sook.
Ms. Kim: "음식이 준비되었으니 앉으세요. (Eumsig-i junbidoeeoss-euni anj-euseyo.)" (The food is ready, please sit.)
Narrator: Especially, a westernized Korean kid like Reed here.
Sook: "함께 입주하고자 합니다. (Hamkke ibjuhagoja habnida.)" (We want to move in together.)
Narrator: But Kim had a plan: he invited Reed for a traditional Korean meal.
Jaejin Eum: Korean family's very family oriented, and um, food... you know, not only served as a... um, eating purpose, but it also serves, um, to harmonize the family and it brings the family together.
Narrator: Harmony was the last thing on Kim's mind. He picked out the menu for this mail to drive his daughter's suitor away.
Narrator: Kim's first course: was "Odori" or live prawns. The shrimp, was still trying to get away.
Kim: "먹어! (Meog-eo!)" (Eat!)
Narrator: Reed was relucted, but in game.
Narrator: The shrimp wiggle this way down.
Narrator: Next to sleeve around to Reed's plate:
Narrator: A slimy bottom-feeding seaworm. Just aside a bit made Reed want to cough up his shrimp.
Narrator: But Kim wasn't taking no for an answer.
Kim: "먹어! (Meog-eo!)" (Eat!)
Narrator: The seaworm just exploded, with flavor.
Kim: "먹어! (Meog-eo!)" (Eat!)
Narrator: Reed cried uncle when Kim insisted a "산낙지 (sannagji)". Or live octopus.
Reed: "Wocchi-glua." (I can't eat it.) "Momokheswa." (I'll puke.)
Kim: "먹어...! (Meog-eo...!)" (Eat...!)
Sook: "아빠, 그만하세요! (Appa, geumanhaseyo!)" (Daddy, please stop!)
Kim: Shhh!!! "먹어!! (Meog-eo!!)" (Eat!!)
Narrator: Reed loved Sook, but not that much.
Reed: "Meuta." (I can't.)
Kim: "내가 보여줄게. (Naega boyeo julkke.)" (You pussy./I'll show you.) (See Goofs below)
Narrator: Kim was going to show this Americanized kid how a real Korean does it. Kim swallowed the octopus whole...
Narrator: and thought he was ready for dessert,
Narrator: but the octopus was a fighter...
Narrator: and latched onto the inside of Kim's throat.
Sook: "아빠, 괜찮아? (Appa, gwaenchanh-a?)" (Dad, are you okay?)
Dr. Pavel Bindra: When a live octopus large itself in the throat, with his tentacles inside the windpipe of the trachea, this man was unable to suck in fresh air and he effectively asphyxiated or choked to death.
Narrator: All those sucking tentacles clogged Kim's throat and he choked to death.
Narrator: Kim was set in his ways,
Kim: "먹어! (Meog-eo!)" (Eat!)
Narrator: and didn't think anyone was worthy of his daughter.
Kim: "내가 보여줄게. (Naega boyeo julkke.)" (You pussy./I'll show you.)
Narrator: But that kind of thinking...
Narrator: it'll kill you.
| Tenta-killed |
fandom.1000waystodie | # Teresa Gravesite
| Teresa Gravesite |
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