sub_id
string | title
string | Criticism
string | Intent
string | Readability
int64 | body
string | author
string | score
int64 | awards
int64 | numComms
int64 | created
string | subreddit
string | annotated_post_body
string | ES
int64 | EFS
int64 | RS
int64 | EMaskingQ
string | EMask
string | EFSMaskingQ
string | EFSMask
string | RMaskingQ
string | RMask
string | Comments
string | Annotated
bool | label_combination
int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
eky7pt
|
Hi guys I need help, should I live to kill everyone with envy or die for envy?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
| null |
philiph40
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-06 18:40:29
|
mentalillness
|
Hi guys I need help, should I live to kill everyone with envy or die for envy? nan
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
enaezb
|
Stop the violence
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Hello My name is Rosario Silva, 36 yrs of age single mother of 4 beautiful strong loving children ages 18,15,13,4 3 boys & 1 girl. The reason for this fundraiser is to get help I am a surviving victim of domestic violence. I had a boyfriend of 12 years and just recently left him in 2017 due to him being very violent and abusive & ever since we left he hasn't been able to leave me & my children alone he has caused us heartache stress worry anxiety paranoia & grief. I moved out of Fresno CA. Due to him stalking us causing us nothing but problems trouble & money. This man is a monster and can't accept the fact that I moved he deserves to be in jail. I thought I was in the clear but no just recently he found out were I lived came to our home & destroyed property vehicles & even killed our dog back. In October he busted out all our windows to our home & vehicles sliced all tires on our vehicles & was never found guilty of any of this. Now 3 months later on January 5th he showed up at our home banging on our door but I refused to answer so he felt the need to start an arson on the only means of transportation we had. He was caught trying to leave he was charged with 7 counts Arson, Stalking, a firearm violation of a restraining order & probation violation. But wasn't found convicted accept for one charge all other charges were dropped me & my children are going through a lot due to what this man is putting us through & no one seems to care or stop him that's why he continues to do what he does. There is police reports restraining orders I've spoke with his probation officer but nothing seems to get done. I am so tired of staying silent something has to be done my poor child is always late to class due to no transportation & walking in the cold. Please if you can help with a donation we would gratefully & thankfully appreciate it anything will help you can make a difference. Or even words of encouragement we are going through a very tough time right now & hope to get pass this please keep us in prayer & pray that he doesn't get out of jail this man deserves to be behind bars he's putting my children through a lot thank you for your time. If you'd like to further contact me please due so God bless you.
|
LuckyKnowledge9
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-11 17:38:15
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>Hello My name is Rosario Silva, 36 yrs of age single mother of 4 beautiful strong loving children ages 18,15,13,4 3 boys & 1 girl.<ee> <es>The reason for this fundraiser is to get help I am a surviving victim of domestic violence.<ee> <es>I had a boyfriend of 12 years and just recently left him in 2017 due to him being very violent and abusive &ever since we left he hasn't been able to leave me & my children alone.<ee> <efs> he has caused us heartache stress worry anxiety paranoia & grief.<efe> <es>I moved out of Fresno CA.<ee> <es>Due to him stalking us causing us nothing but problems trouble & money.<ee> <es>This man is a monster and can't accept the fact that I moved he deserves to be in jail.<ee> <es>I thought I was in the clear but no just recently he found out were I lived came to our home & destroyed property vehicles & even killed our dog back.<ee> <es>In October he busted out all our windows to our home & vehicles sliced all tires on our vehicles & was never found guilty of any of this.<ee> <es>Now 3 months later on January 5th he showed up at our home banging on our door but I refused to answer so he felt the need to start an arson on the only means of transportation we had.<ee> <es>He was caught trying to leave he was charged with 7 counts Arson, Stalking, a firearm violation of a restraining order & probation violation.<ee> <es>But wasn't found convicted accept for one charge all other charges were dropped me & my children are going through a lot due to what this man is putting us through & no one seems to care or stop him that's why he continues to do what he does.<ee> <es>There is police reports restraining orders I've spoke with his probation officer but nothing seems to get done.<ee> <efs>I am so tired of staying silent something has to be done my poor child is always late to class due to no transportation & walking in the cold.<efe> <rs>Please if you can help with a donation we would gratefully & thankfully appreciate it anything will help you can make a difference.<re> <rs>Or even words of encouragement.<re> <efs>we are going through a very tough time right now & hope to get pass this please keep us in prayer & <efe><rs>pray that he doesn't get out of jail this man deserves to be behind bars he's putting my children through a lot thank you for your time.<re> <rs>If you'd like to further contact me please due so God bless you.<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
exbjp2
|
Domestic violence lease break Washington state
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
So basically I got an apartment with my god mom and her fiancé and me and him were the lease holders and she was just a resident. a month past and the domestic violence between them got severe to the point police were involved and both me and my godmother left we talked to the apartment office and they told us not to worry about anything and just go so we did just that a few months pass and I get a letter in the mail from a collections agency saying I owe $12,000 my godmother already filed a restraining order against him but I never took any legal actions against him just blocked him off all social media his number etc. basically what I’m asking is since I was in a domestic violence situation with my god mom am I still responsible for payments in Washington state?
|
Tay_253
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-02-01 19:51:09
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>So basically I got an apartment with my god mom and her fiancé and me and him were the lease holders and she was just a resident.<ee> <es>a month past and the domestic violence between them got severe to the point police were involved and both me and my godmother left we talked to the apartment office and they told us not to worry about anything and just go<ee> <es>so we did just that a few months pass and I get a letter in the mail from a collections agency saying I owe $12,000<ee> <es>my godmother already filed a restraining order against him but I never took any legal actions against him just blocked him off all social media his number etc.<ee> <rs>basically what I’m asking is since I was in a domestic violence situation with my god mom am I still responsible for payments in Washington state?<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your god mom facing domestic violence
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
ewha5n
|
How to not want to hurt people?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
People are very condescending to me and I dont know why but I'm reaching my limit. I already have it in my brain that 2020 will be the year I go to jail or prison. It seems like even if I'm the victim in the situation the blame will fall on me. I'm tired of letting people slide. My anger is reaching it's boiling point and I will most likely kill a few people this year. How can I make people respect me without bashing their skulls in?
|
PirdBussy
| 1
| 0
| 19
|
2020-01-31 02:32:44
|
Anger
|
<es>People are very condescending to me and I dont know why but I'm reaching my limit.<ee> I already have it in my brain that 2020 will be the year I go to jail or prison. It seems like even if I'm the victim in the situation the blame will fall on me. <efs>I'm tired of letting people slide.<efe> <es>My anger is reaching it's boiling point and I will most likely kill a few people this year.<ee> <rs>How can I make people respect me without bashing their skulls in?<re>
| 1
| 1
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
the cause of your anger
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you are tired of people slide
| null | null | null | true
| 112
|
ejq3or
|
Having PTSD and finishing college?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Hey all. Hope your day is going okay.
I wanted to ask if anyone here has finished college or is going through college and doing okay with it while having PTSD? Do you have any tips on how to get by? I'm really struggling to even keep up with course work just cause this stupid brain doesn't function like it used to.
**RANT / CONTEXT PART**
So for basics, I'm having trouble remember even the simplest things like if I've eaten breakfast or not. I can't read anything for more than 5 minutes without getting distracted. I can barely recall what I've studied. Everything just sorta melds into the dreamlike haze. I know I studied but I can't remember anything from it.
In terms of work ethic, I avoid stuff like a mofo. Even looking at a decently sized pile of work gives me a panic attack. I get to it after a while but that's after so much time wasted crying. I also get caught telling myself I'll never make it or that I should just drop out.
It's really annoying. Cause I know what where I wanna be. I know what I wanna do. I know what steps I have to take to get there. But it feels like there's always a wall waiting around the corner that I didn't expect. I honestly wanna drop out and just work cause I feel that I won't ever finish at this rate.
**ACTUAL QUESTION**
So yeah, I was wondering if you guys have any techniques that can help deal with memory loss, work ethic, disinterest, panic attacks when starting work, and just the general feeling of hopelessness when facing work? Any work techniques and stuff?
Thanks all for reading and maybe taking time to answer. Appreciate it.
|
thesixthpanda
| 9
| 0
| 25
|
2020-01-04 02:24:11
|
ptsd
|
Hey all. Hope your day is going okay. <rs>I wanted to ask if anyone here has finished college or is going through college and doing okay with it while having PTSD?<re> <rs>Do you have any tips on how to get by?<re> <es>I'm really struggling to even keep up with course work just cause this stupid brain doesn't function like it used to.<ee> **RANT / CONTEXT PART** <es>So for basics, I'm having trouble remember even the simplest things like if I've eaten breakfast or not.<ee> <es>I can't read anything for more than 5 minutes without getting distracted.<ee> <es>I can barely recall what I've studied.<ee> <es>Everything just sorta melds into the dreamlike haze.<ee> <es>I know I studied but I can't remember anything from it.<ee> <es>In terms of work ethic, I avoid stuff like a mofo.<ee> <efs>Even looking at a decently sized pile of work gives me a panic attack.<efe> <efs>I get to it after a while but that's after so much time wasted crying.<efe> <efs>I also get caught telling myself I'll never make it or that I should just drop out.<efe> <efs>It's really annoying.<efe> <es>Cause I know what where I wanna be.<ee> <es>I know what I wanna do.<ee> <es>I know what steps I have to take to get there.<ee> <efs>But it feels like there's always a wall waiting around the corner that I didn't expect.<efe> <efs>I honestly wanna drop out and just work cause I feel that I won't ever finish at this rate.<efe> **ACTUAL QUESTION** <rs>So yeah, I was wondering if you guys have any techniques that can help deal with memory loss, work ethic, disinterest, panic attacks when starting work, and just the general feeling of hopelessness when facing work?<re> <rs>Any work techniques and stuff?<re> Thanks all for reading and maybe taking time to answer. Appreciate it.
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
eica4l
|
I know everyone hates ‘new year, new me’, but it’s the motivation I need...
|
1a
|
chitchat
| 1
|
It might be cliche and I know everyone hates it, but I struggle to focus and to finish things to such an extent that the new year might be just what I need to finally feel motivated, no matter how temporarily.
With planners and journals, and so many bad habits from last year, I feel like it’s a really good time to try and get things into some sort of order.
Having daily and weekly goals is a really good way to feel like I’m actually making progress, y’know? And even if I forget about it all by February, there might be one tiny thing that works, and that’s enough to get me excited for the year ahead.
Happy New Year, guys.
|
apwr
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-01 01:47:25
|
ADHD
|
It might be cliche and I know everyone hates it, but I struggle to focus and to finish things to such an extent that the new year might be just what I need to finally feel motivated, no matter how temporarily. With planners and journals, and so many bad habits from last year, I feel like it’s a really good time to try and get things into some sort of order. Having daily and weekly goals is a really good way to feel like I’m actually making progress, y’know? And even if I forget about it all by February, there might be one tiny thing that works, and that’s enough to get me excited for the year ahead. Happy New Year, guys.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
fn8us2
|
My take on battling depression after being daily on reddit, quora and pills for several months.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 3
|
Dear all,
I might come as showing off, but I have to write this, because I owe a lot to people on reddit, who replied to my cries of desperation few months ago. More so now, with Corona waking up depression in many of us, I want to make a **summary of what I've gathered and what get me out of that shit**.
It is a strategy inspired by many others on this sub and elsewhere, but please don't think about it as a full proof remedy - I only know it helped me and I felt, that I am obliged to share my story.
Ok, so shortly about my situation - I was not happy with my life and didn't know where I am going and why. Stupid as I was, I took a lot of LSD to awaken something me. I did. I was depressed for four months. But now, in retrospective, I am actually really happy, that I took those tabs, because it changed my life for the better after all.
So in August I was lying in my bed at my parents place, staring at the ceiling, having suicidal thoughts, being jobless and being so, so hateful towards myself, feeling guilty of everything, feeling like a useless burden for all my relatives and friends. You know what I mean..
Now I have three great jobs, living in my own apartment, developing hobbies and I feel sense and happiness in the things I pursue.
What helped me? Stupid, the most cliché things and advices you can find out there. But really, they help. IN A LONG RUNG. Don't expect it to help you in a day, or a week, or a month. It takes time and you have to fight every day not to fall into those dark depth of your shattered soul.
1. Create a prehistoric **task manager** \- take a piece of paper every evening and write three, four tasks for tomorrow, you can handle. It can be - short walk around a bloc, do ten push-ups, take a shower. You know, step by step. It can be just getting out of bed in the first days, but there has to be a task. And now the important thing - make a fat nice tick next to the task, once you complete it. it sounds so stupid, I know, but this can boost your motivation so much - yes, a simple tick, once you complete a task. When you see after a week, that three tasks per day changed to six and that every one of them has a juicy tick next to them, you will feel something remotely related to happiness, to satisfaction.
2. This task manager is the first step to make some **routine**. You have to have routine. And it's not easy to make one. Maybe you won't succeed to create this routine in one week, but that's okay! It's hard for everyone. But strengthening your routine will strengthen everything else. So make those tasks like doing ten push ups a new habit, a routine, not just one day task. After several weeks, you won't have to even write it down, because it will just became part of you, your ritual. Our ancestors knew why they were going through rituals - it's fricking good for your mental health.
3. Speaking about push ups - I know it's hard even to get up out of bed, but your body and mind are connected more than you think - and that body needs some movement to aid your prime target - and that's the hard struggle within your mind. **Move the body** and you will soon move your spirit up, not down. For me, Yoga was the best choice and I can't imagine a day without several Salutes to the Sun now.
4. **Cut the connection to people, who makes you feel guilty, or inferior.** Yes, you think it's your mistake, that you feel that way, and that those guys are really cool, and great and sooo kind that they spend time with you. NO. If you don't feel good around them, try everything to get away from them for now. Once you are okay, lets meet them again. if they are not complete idiots, they will understand. I know this can be very hard, if such people are your relatives or closed ones, but now you are fighting for your life, so try everything you can to be around loved ones, who are tolerant, kind and 100% there for you without any insensitive jokes, stares etc.
5. If you have a **pet or pets**, pet them. Intensively. Daily.
6. Most importantly - don't be afraid to **share**. There is lot of individualism deeply rooted in western society. It is wrong, dangerous concept. There is nothing dignified about being reclusive, silent, battling that bitch on your own. It is not brave to not talk about your troubles, it's stupid, selfish and dangerous. Share it. With other people here on reddit, with a health professional, your mum, your friends, your dog, whoever. If you now find the courage to share the bad and unpleasant things you are dealing with, I guarantee you, that in several months you will share great, engaging ideas, you will share an atmosphere of mutual understanding and people will feel good around you and you will feel good around them.
Also, don't look to your phone every three minutes.. **crocheting** is really therapeutic though and lot of fun :)
Good luck, you are a beautiful being and you can blossom in this world. Keep fighting.
(Feel free to copypaste some of this content - sharing is caring.)
|
AbnormalNormie
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-03-22 22:42:35
|
getting_over_it
|
Dear all, I might come as showing off, but I have to write this, because I owe a lot to people on reddit, who replied to my cries of desperation few months ago. More so now, with Corona waking up depression in many of us, I want to make a **summary of what I've gathered and what get me out of that shit**. It is a strategy inspired by many others on this sub and elsewhere, but please don't think about it as a full proof remedy - I only know it helped me and I felt, that I am obliged to share my story. Ok, so shortly about my situation - I was not happy with my life and didn't know where I am going and why. Stupid as I was, I took a lot of LSD to awaken something me. I did. I was depressed for four months. But now, in retrospective, I am actually really happy, that I took those tabs, because it changed my life for the better after all. So in August I was lying in my bed at my parents place, staring at the ceiling, having suicidal thoughts, being jobless and being so, so hateful towards myself, feeling guilty of everything, feeling like a useless burden for all my relatives and friends. You know what I mean.. Now I have three great jobs, living in my own apartment, developing hobbies and I feel sense and happiness in the things I pursue. What helped me? Stupid, the most cliché things and advices you can find out there. But really, they help. IN A LONG RUNG. Don't expect it to help you in a day, or a week, or a month. It takes time and you have to fight every day not to fall into those dark depth of your shattered soul. 1. Create a prehistoric **task manager** \- take a piece of paper every evening and write three, four tasks for tomorrow, you can handle. It can be - short walk around a bloc, do ten push-ups, take a shower. You know, step by step. It can be just getting out of bed in the first days, but there has to be a task. And now the important thing - make a fat nice tick next to the task, once you complete it. it sounds so stupid, I know, but this can boost your motivation so much - yes, a simple tick, once you complete a task. When you see after a week, that three tasks per day changed to six and that every one of them has a juicy tick next to them, you will feel something remotely related to happiness, to satisfaction. 2. This task manager is the first step to make some **routine**. You have to have routine. And it's not easy to make one. Maybe you won't succeed to create this routine in one week, but that's okay! It's hard for everyone. But strengthening your routine will strengthen everything else. So make those tasks like doing ten push ups a new habit, a routine, not just one day task. After several weeks, you won't have to even write it down, because it will just became part of you, your ritual. Our ancestors knew why they were going through rituals - it's fricking good for your mental health. 3. Speaking about push ups - I know it's hard even to get up out of bed, but your body and mind are connected more than you think - and that body needs some movement to aid your prime target - and that's the hard struggle within your mind. **Move the body** and you will soon move your spirit up, not down. For me, Yoga was the best choice and I can't imagine a day without several Salutes to the Sun now. 4. **Cut the connection to people, who makes you feel guilty, or inferior.** Yes, you think it's your mistake, that you feel that way, and that those guys are really cool, and great and sooo kind that they spend time with you. NO. If you don't feel good around them, try everything to get away from them for now. Once you are okay, lets meet them again. if they are not complete idiots, they will understand. I know this can be very hard, if such people are your relatives or closed ones, but now you are fighting for your life, so try everything you can to be around loved ones, who are tolerant, kind and 100% there for you without any insensitive jokes, stares etc. 5. If you have a **pet or pets**, pet them. Intensively. Daily. 6. Most importantly - don't be afraid to **share**. There is lot of individualism deeply rooted in western society. It is wrong, dangerous concept. There is nothing dignified about being reclusive, silent, battling that bitch on your own. It is not brave to not talk about your troubles, it's stupid, selfish and dangerous. Share it. With other people here on reddit, with a health professional, your mum, your friends, your dog, whoever. If you now find the courage to share the bad and unpleasant things you are dealing with, I guarantee you, that in several months you will share great, engaging ideas, you will share an atmosphere of mutual understanding and people will feel good around you and you will feel good around them. Also, don't look to your phone every three minutes.. **crocheting** is really therapeutic though and lot of fun :) Good luck, you are a beautiful being and you can blossom in this world. Keep fighting. (Feel free to copypaste some of this content - sharing is caring.)
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
ektdsh
|
Starting my last 4th day.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 3
|
So on January second i had a moment of clarity. I realized that i will never have the life i want as long as im drinking.
Ive been in and out of the rooms of AA all year but i guess i never really wanted to quit and i certainly didnt want to take any suggestions.
Ive started to actually take the advice given in AA and im already noticing a psychic change and i like it.
For example my sponsor told me (many times before) to make a gratitude list and send it to him everyday. Ive never done it before. My lips have been super chapped lately. normally id just bitch and complain about it, instead im greatful for chapstick. Hell ive even started praying. Im a pretty devout athiest so this one is still a bit hard for me. More setting intentions than asking for stuff. Despite being an athiest you'd catch me praying from time to time. "Please god let this scratch off be the one!" "God ive only got $5, please let there be a sale at the liquor store."
I say this is my last 4th day because i think im going to have a new addiction, having some money in my pocket.
Im terrible at math but im great at alcoholic math. I get paid so i look at my check, well thats probably not enough to drink all week and pay all my bills. I can roll that bill over to next week since that week i only have more wiggle room on that one.
Or i go to the liquor store and think "hell yeah pay day! I think ill get a bottle of something better than my usual bottom shelf plastic bottle." Well if i do that will i have enough left in 6 days to drink? No, so i grab my usual bottom shelf swill.
On top of that i leave a lot of money on the table at my mediocre job. I do need a better job but i show up 15-30 minutes late everyday and leave as soon as possible. They are not affraid to give hours to those who want them. Hell some people show up 30 minutes early and they dont say anything. But i cant stick around any longer than i absolutely need to. Its almost 2 in the afternoon, clocks ticking! The liquor store closes at 10pm i gotta get there asap!
All in all even at my mediocre job im leaving at least $100 a week on the table. So $400 a month, combine that with the $300 a month i spend on drinking and thats a net gain of $700 a month at least. Thats almost 2 of my current paychecks. On top of that if i show up early and ask for more work they just might even give me a raise.
So i will not be drinking today. I'll be too busy making money then going to see the new Star Wars with my sponsor before we hit a meeting then im going to bed because im going to work early tomorrow.
|
BlazeLE
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-06 12:15:35
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
So on January second i had a moment of clarity. I realized that i will never have the life i want as long as im drinking. Ive been in and out of the rooms of AA all year but i guess i never really wanted to quit and i certainly didnt want to take any suggestions. Ive started to actually take the advice given in AA and im already noticing a psychic change and i like it. For example my sponsor told me (many times before) to make a gratitude list and send it to him everyday. Ive never done it before. My lips have been super chapped lately. normally id just bitch and complain about it, instead im greatful for chapstick. Hell ive even started praying. Im a pretty devout athiest so this one is still a bit hard for me. More setting intentions than asking for stuff. Despite being an athiest you'd catch me praying from time to time. "Please god let this scratch off be the one!" "God ive only got $5, please let there be a sale at the liquor store." I say this is my last 4th day because i think im going to have a new addiction, having some money in my pocket. Im terrible at math but im great at alcoholic math. I get paid so i look at my check, well thats probably not enough to drink all week and pay all my bills. I can roll that bill over to next week since that week i only have more wiggle room on that one. Or i go to the liquor store and think "hell yeah pay day! I think ill get a bottle of something better than my usual bottom shelf plastic bottle." Well if i do that will i have enough left in 6 days to drink? No, so i grab my usual bottom shelf swill. On top of that i leave a lot of money on the table at my mediocre job. I do need a better job but i show up 15-30 minutes late everyday and leave as soon as possible. They are not affraid to give hours to those who want them. Hell some people show up 30 minutes early and they dont say anything. But i cant stick around any longer than i absolutely need to. Its almost 2 in the afternoon, clocks ticking! The liquor store closes at 10pm i gotta get there asap! All in all even at my mediocre job im leaving at least $100 a week on the table. So $400 a month, combine that with the $300 a month i spend on drinking and thats a net gain of $700 a month at least. Thats almost 2 of my current paychecks. On top of that if i show up early and ask for more work they just might even give me a raise. So i will not be drinking today. I'll be too busy making money then going to see the new Star Wars with my sponsor before we hit a meeting then im going to bed because im going to work early tomorrow.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
eiopdh
|
Same
|
0
|
chitchat
| 5
| null |
genericusernamehere6
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-01 22:15:54
|
socialanxiety
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
ej2odx
|
Accountability partner(s)
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
A few days ago I saw a post about someone looking for and trying to link up accountability partners in the group. Upon seeing this I told myself “I’ll comment later.” You guys know the drill. Now I just thought about it today and couldn’t find that post.
So, if any of you are still seeking a daily accountability partner, I would love to have one and help each other out, especially since my life is a bit messy right now and responsibilities are piling up
|
Screampie97
| 3
| 0
| 6
|
2020-01-02 19:14:55
|
ADHD
|
A few days ago I saw a post about someone looking for and trying to link up accountability partners in the group. Upon seeing this I told myself “I’ll comment later.” You guys know the drill. Now I just thought about it today and couldn’t find that post. So, if any of you are still seeking a daily accountability partner, I would love to have one and help each other out, especially since my life is a bit messy right now and responsibilities are piling up
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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eia9b8
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My birthday
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1b
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rant
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My birthday is squished between the day my assaulter died by suicide, and the day he assaulted me. Usually it’s just the assault that looms overhead on my birthday, but now it’s also his suicide. I wonder why even bother celebrating my birthday. Everything hurts. I just want to heal but it’s been.... Almost five years. I was 15. I will be 20. I don’t think much healing is going to happen at this point.
Happy birthday to me ig.
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hamilthrowaway
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2019-12-31 23:00:29
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ptsd
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<es>My birthday is squished between the day my assaulter died by suicide, and the day he assaulted me.<ee> <es>Usually it’s just the assault that looms overhead on my birthday, but now it’s also his suicide.<ee> <es>I wonder why even bother celebrating my birthday.<ee> <efs>Everything hurts.<efe> <rs>I just want to heal but it’s been.... Almost five years.<re> <es>I was 15.<ee> <es>I will be 20.<ee> <efs>I don’t think much healing is going to happen at this point. <efe> Happy birthday to me ig.
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why you think you won't heal
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help you heal from the trauma
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eitkjc
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DAE get frustrated because they feel like some opportunities are denied to you just because you have the BPD diagnosis?
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1b
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survey
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I’m a quiet borderline and have found that as I make a really strong effort to achieve a goal, the opportunity rejects me because I have a diagnoses or it makes it harder for me to succeed.
I was diagnosed as a quiet borderline, but I am also striving to become a medical professional. I don’t want my diagnosis to hold me back despite my self-sabotaging. However, I know that further down the line, when I have to purchase liability insurance to practice as a medical professional , they are not going to give me full coverage just because of the diagnosis.
I’m really frustrated by the misunderstandings of what BPD is. I would never inflict my diagnosis on my future patients nor would I even be capable of it seeing as BPD mostly affects close intimate relationships anyway. Is anyone else just as frustrated with the lack of opportunities?
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lkjhgfdsa5
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2020-01-02 04:53:44
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BPD
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<es>I’m a quiet borderline and have found that as I make a really strong effort to achieve a goal, the opportunity rejects me because I have a diagnoses or it makes it harder for me to succeed.<ee> <es>I was diagnosed as a quiet borderline, but I am also striving to become a medical professional.<ee> <es>I don’t want my diagnosis to hold me back despite my self-sabotaging.<ee> However, I know that further down the line, when I have to purchase liability insurance to practice as a medical professional , they are not going to give me full coverage just because of the diagnosis. I’m really frustrated by the misunderstandings of what BPD is. I would never inflict my diagnosis on my future patients nor would I even be capable of it seeing as BPD mostly affects close intimate relationships anyway. Is anyone else just as frustrated with the lack of opportunities?
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empkt4
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Anyone else not know how to react when someone is nice to you?
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0
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survey
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I'm conditioned to get almost panicky and slightly suspicious if someone shows even the smallest amount of kindness.
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IheartCart00ns
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2020-01-10 11:13:50
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ptsd
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<rs>Anyone else not know how to react when someone is nice to you?<re> <efs>I'm conditioned to get almost panicky and slightly suspicious if someone shows even the smallest amount of kindness.<efe>
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What made you feel X ?
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feel panic when people are being kind
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eqo7ar
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Why do I feel like sitting at side of a highway?
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1a
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rant
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I feel like I am on the ground, trying to figure out what's going on with and around me. Whereas highway is my life. I don't know if I want control or awareness. But I honestly can't get rid of the feeling of helplessness.
It should be my life my rules. But it's my life and me sitting on the side and wondering what's going on. With no sense of what should happen.
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Ambitiousahsan
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| 10
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2020-01-18 23:23:01
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selfhelp
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<efs>I feel like I am on the ground, trying to figure out what's going on with and around me.<efe> <es>Whereas highway is my life.<ee> <es>I don't know if I want control or awareness.<ee> <efs>But I honestly can't get rid of the feeling of helplessness.<efe> <es>It should be my life my rules.<ee> <es>But it's my life and me sitting on the side and wondering what's going on.<ee> <es>With no sense of what should happen.<ee>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why you feel helpless
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are unable to control your own life
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elpp62
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“It’s not a cry that you hear at night...”
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0
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rant
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Capital_Blueberry
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2020-01-08 07:48:39
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sad
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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random
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f22vzf
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when your abuser uses you defending yourself as reason to continue what do you do?
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1b
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help-seeking
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example; he will yell at me, push me, verbally abuse me. if I yell back he says that "it's a trigger" and that's what makes him hit me. and that if I pull his hair or push him off or scream it "makes him want to hurt me more" and the reason he keeps on is because "you did it first" and I "shouldnt have yelled" ESPECIALLY if I cry. if I cry during physical abuse he will bump it up 100x.
basically he wants me to sit there and let him abuse me and wants me to just not scream? how do you not scream when someone is hitting you? how do you not cry?
if I'm not smiling happy and praising him, I'm "triggering" him.
tonight we argued just like my example, and I asked to sleep alone. as soon as I fell asleep he woke me up, to "apologoze" but the second he woke me up I started having a anxiety attack and my vision was spinning. but I know if I ask him to leave me alone it'll start more so I just accepted the apology quickly and he left while I dealt with the attack. I just can't fall back asleep without venting a little.
I know the simple answer is leave.
but obviously it's more complex than that.
I want to. but right now I'm just venting.
it feels like it's worth it to suppress my feelings around him right now to avoid a fight. and if I can't be visibly upset around him this thread always helps me.
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lydmannn
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2020-02-11 04:11:39
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domesticviolence
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<es>when your abuser uses you defending yourself as reason to continue what do you do?<ee> <es>example; he will yell at me, push me, verbally abuse me. if I yell back he says that "it's a trigger" and that's what makes him hit me. and that if I pull his hair or push him off or scream it "makes him want to hurt me more" and the reason he keeps on is because "you did it first" and I "shouldnt have yelled" ESPECIALLY if I cry.<ee> <es>if I cry during physical abuse he will bump it up 100x. <ee> <es>basically he wants me to sit there and let him abuse me and wants me to just not scream?<ee> how do you not scream when someone is hitting you? how do you not cry? <es>if I'm not smiling happy and praising him, I'm "triggering" him. <ee> <es>tonight we argued just like my example, and I asked to sleep alone.<ee> <es>as soon as I fell asleep he woke me up, to "apologoze" but the second he woke me up I started having a anxiety attack and my vision was spinning.<ee> <es>but I know if I ask him to leave me alone it'll start more so I just accepted the apology quickly and he left while I dealt with the attack.<ee> I just can't fall back asleep without venting a little. <es>I know the simple answer is leave. but obviously it's more complex than that. <ee> <rs>I want to.<re> <rs>but right now I'm just venting. <re> <efs>it feels like it's worth it to suppress my feelings around him right now to avoid a fight.<efe> <rs>and if I can't be visibly upset around him this thread always helps me.<re>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you felt about his abuse
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emud9r
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I have my first meeting with a therapist on Monday, hoping she’ll help me get out of my head.
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0
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survey
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I’m excited, but also very nervous. I know I’m going to cry within minutes of being there and I hate crying in front of people but it will feel so good to get shit out of my head. Does anyone constantly compare themselves to other people? Like people who seem to have their shit together? People who aren’t an addict and aren’t so behind in life? Ugh I hate that I do it, I wish I didn’t care. I’m hoping this therapist will help me get there. It seriously makes life so much harder. I constantly need someone telling me “you’re going to be ok, you’re going to get through this” or I don’t believe it. In regards to all of that, this sub has made me feel not so alone, like you guys get it and that helps me feel better. Anyways I hit 16 days off h today and I’m super proud of myself for that. Physically I’m feeling good, finally getting some energy back and actually I’m not so sweaty today! (My last post I asked when the constant sweating stopped lol) good luck to you guys and have a good day.
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catmom2040
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2020-01-10 17:42:49
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OpiatesRecovery
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<es> I have my first meeting with a therapist on Monday, hoping she’ll help me get out of my head.<ee> <efs>I’m excited, but also very nervous.<efe> <efs>I know I’m going to cry within minutes of being there and I hate crying in front of people but it will feel so good to get shit out of my head.<efe> <es>Does anyone constantly compare themselves to other people?<ee> <es>Like people who seem to have their shit together?<ee> <es>People who aren’t an addict and aren’t so behind in life?<ee> <efs>Ugh I hate that I do it, I wish I didn’t care.<efe> <efs>I’m hoping this therapist will help me get there.<efe> <efs>It seriously makes life so much harder.<efe> <es>I constantly need someone telling me “you’re going to be ok, you’re going to get through this” or I don’t believe it.<ee> In regards to all of that, this sub has made me feel not so alone, like you guys get it and that helps me feel better. <es>Anyways I hit 16 days off h today and I’m super proud of myself for that.<ee> <efs>Physically I’m feeling good, finally getting some energy back and actually I’m not so sweaty today!<efe> (My last post I asked when the constant sweating stopped lol) good luck to you guys and have a good day.
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are coonstantly comparing yourself to non addicts
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eih9pk
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Happy New Year/Decade
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1a
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help-seeking
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So as 2019 ended, along with an entire decade and I guess I just feel sad. I spent this New Years, a long with every other New Years, alone, while I watch my friends hang out and have a good time, or see couples kissing after the clock counts down to 0. I just feel lonely, and I guess this year it just got to me. I'm 18F, and I've never been in a relationship. I guess you can probably already assume I don't have very many friends either, but something I do hold close to me is my childhood. Which is why I'm so terrified of growing up. I miss the easy days when my biggest worry was what I was going to wear tomorrow and I constantly tend to reminisce memories as a child, and it is happening more frequently now. And now that the last decade of my childhood is over and I'm at the age of becoming an adult, I guess it's becoming all too real to me of what's gone, and how I'm now forced to be this independent woman when, in reality, I'm not. I'm scared and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I'll be off to college soon and I don't even know where I want to go, what I want to study, let alone what I want to do for the rest of my life. Hell, I don't even know why I'm writing this or really what I'm even saying anymore. It's 5am in the morning and I'm just feeling down and extremely anxious.
TLDR; I'm sad my childhood is over and tend to think about my childhood way too much. My life right now is gloomy and I'm scared and pessimistic of the future/what's to come.
Please give feedback, any advice for me is appreciated.
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HappyHearing
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2020-01-01 11:05:55
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sad
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<efs>So as 2019 ended, along with an entire decade and I guess I just feel sad.<efe> <es>I spent this New Years, a long with every other New Years, alone, while I watch my friends hang out and have a good time, or see couples kissing after the clock counts down to 0.<ee> <efs>I just feel lonely, and I guess this year it just got to me.<efe> <es>I'm 18F, and I've never been in a relationship.<ee> <es>I guess you can probably already assume I don't have very many friends either, but something I do hold close to me is my childhood.<ee> <efs>Which is why I'm so terrified of growing up.<efe> <efs>I miss the easy days when my biggest worry was what I was going to wear tomorrow and I constantly tend to reminisce memories as a child, and it is happening more frequently now.<efe> <es>And now that the last decade of my childhood is over and I'm at the age of becoming an adult, I guess it's becoming all too real to me of what's gone, and how I'm now forced to be this independent woman when, in reality, I'm not.<ee> <efs>I'm scared and I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.<efe> <es>I'll be off to college soon and I don't even know where I want to go, what I want to study, let alone what I want to do for the rest of my life.<ee> Hell, I don't even know why I'm writing this or really what I'm even saying anymore. <efs>It's 5am in the morning and I'm just feeling down and extremely anxious.<efe> TLDR; <efs>I'm sad my childhood is over and tend to think about my childhood way too much.<efe> <efs>My life right now is gloomy and I'm scared and pessimistic of the future/what's to come.<efe> Please give feedback, any advice for me is appreciated.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel anxious about your future
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ek71g8
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Sad
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0
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survey
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Y'all ever just sad?
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AriIsMySavior
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2020-01-05 03:02:23
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sad
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Y'all ever just sad?
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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ejngff
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Reasons
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1a
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rant
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So I've read a few comments and posts on this subreddit, and now I feel like all the reasons I 'make up' for cutting myself are just so stupid. Like as if I'm not worthy or something because I don't have it nearly as bad as many others. I get the feeling that I don't really belong here at all, but I won't stop anyway. It's like I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either.
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tristantwb
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2020-01-03 23:07:36
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selfharm
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<es>So I've read a few comments and posts on this subreddit.<ee> <efs>now I feel like all the reasons I 'make up' for cutting myself are just so stupid.<efe> <efs>Like as if I'm not worthy or something because I don't have it nearly as bad as many others.<efe> <efs>I get the feeling that I don't really belong here at all, but I won't stop anyway. <efe><efs>It's like I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either.<efe>
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel your reasons for cutting are stupid
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eibxh0
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New year not new me
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1b
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rant
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So past few weeks have been rough on me. When my friend started being lowkey shitty I didnt want it to bring me further down so I stayed away for a bit (keep in mind they started giving me the silent treatment for reasons unknown to me). Ive now lost that friend. They have said petty comments about me (not even to my face) and it feels like theyre constantly shoving the fact that theyre happy without me in my face. Today they sent a picture of them celebrating new years with someone they have complained about multiple times and i wasnt even.. considered. They just dropped me like that without even asking about me. Weve gone through tough things together and me needing some space resulted in them just... dropping me as a friend. I ended up SHing and I lowkey regret it because i wanted this year to be so much better but at the same time.... its distarcting to be worrying about my leg rather than why my friend dropped me like i meant nothing
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Twinflame66
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2020-01-01 01:16:09
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selfharm
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<es>So past few weeks have been rough on me.<ee> <es>When my friend started being lowkey shitty I didnt want it to bring me further down so I stayed away for a bit (keep in mind they started giving me the silent treatment for reasons unknown to me).<ee> <es>Ive now lost that friend.<ee> <es>They have said petty comments about me (not even to my face) and it feels like theyre constantly shoving the fact that theyre happy without me in my face.<ee> <es>Today they sent a picture of them celebrating new years with someone they have complained about multiple times and i wasnt even.. considered.<ee> <es>They just dropped me like that without even asking about me.<ee> <es>Weve gone through tough things together and me needing some space resulted in them just... dropping me as a friend.<ee> <efs>I ended up SHing and I lowkey regret it because i wanted this year to be so much better but at the same time.... its distarcting to be worrying about my leg rather than why my friend dropped me like i meant nothing<efe>
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you felt about your friend's actions
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel hurt by your friend's actions
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| 210
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emph3f
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Download How to live on 24 hours a day Free Self-Help eBook | Sharing eBook - Download PDF Books Legally
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0
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chitchat
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webdeveloper5050
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2020-01-10 11:02:50
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selfhelp
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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| 0
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ei9maj
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Anyone else going out tonight and are extremely anxious about it?
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1a
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survey
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I’m going to be on some meds which will help and with some friends, but still have that deep uncertainty about it all. Crowds, drama, loud noises. How do y’all deal with it?
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AugustsOnlySon
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2019-12-31 22:08:54
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Anxiety
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<rs>Anyone else going out tonight and are extremely anxious about it?<re> <efs>I’m going to be on some meds which will help and with some friends, but still have that deep uncertainty about it all.<efe> <es>Crowds, drama, loud noises.<ee> <rs>How do y’all deal with it?<re>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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the why crowds makes you anxious
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How did X make you feel?
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being in a party
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f5kztm
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I recognized the red flags and heeded their warning.
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1b
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rant
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I’ve been seeing a man for a few months now that I really clicked with and thought there might be a future with. But over time I started to notice little things about his personality and his actions that concerned me.
Over the last two weeks I saw more and more of his true self beneath the charming exterior: the controlling behavior, the manipulation, the emotional immaturity, and the inability to accept responsibility. There were more but those red flags were enough.
I ended it. And I am proud of myself for not falling back into that trap, for being self aware enough to end it before the abuse started. The person I was 10 years ago would have never seen the signs, 7 years ago I would have ignored them until it was too late, 5 years ago I was letting myself be used and disrespected in a relationship going nowhere.
But not this time. Not anymore. He needs help and I deserve better.
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KneeSockMonster
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| 22
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2020-02-18 03:09:14
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domesticviolence
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I’ve been seeing a man for a few months now that I really clicked with and thought there might be a future with. But over time I started to notice little things about his personality and his actions that concerned me. Over the last two weeks I saw more and more of his true self beneath the charming exterior: the controlling behavior, the manipulation, the emotional immaturity, and the inability to accept responsibility. There were more but those red flags were enough. I ended it. And I am proud of myself for not falling back into that trap, for being self aware enough to end it before the abuse started. The person I was 10 years ago would have never seen the signs, 7 years ago I would have ignored them until it was too late, 5 years ago I was letting myself be used and disrespected in a relationship going nowhere. But not this time. Not anymore. He needs help and I deserve better.
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| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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positive
| true
| 0
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eouldn
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Sex Addict at 16(f)
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1a
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rant
| 2
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I've come to accept the fact that I am a sex addict, but it's not about the sex for me. Even tho I do like sex and I masturbate a lot and I am very horny all the time, I go to guys for more than that. I really just want someone to like me for more than sex. I want someone to actually want me, I want to feel wanted.
I have done some pretty dangerous stuff on the internet, not so much in real life. My rule is that I don't have sex with anyone I am not dating. Which is hard sometimes.
I can't stop myself from going to the guys. Even if they yell at me and tell me all I am worth is sex, I think that's love. I just want one person I can have sex with all the time but also take care of and be there for.
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penisbreths
| 1
| 0
| 17
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2020-01-15 00:44:51
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addiction
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<es>I've come to accept the fact that I am a sex addict, but it's not about the sex for me.<ee> <es>Even tho I do like sex and I masturbate a lot and I am very horny all the time, I go to guys for more than that.<ee> <rs>I really just want someone to like me for more than sex.<re> <rs>I want someone to actually want me, I want to feel wanted. <re> <es>I have done some pretty dangerous stuff on the internet, not so much in real life.<ee> <es>My rule is that I don't have sex with anyone I am not dating.<ee> <es>Which is hard sometimes. <ee> <es>I can't stop myself from going to the guys.<ee> <es>Even if they yell at me and tell me all I am worth is sex, I think that's love.<ee> <rs>I just want one person I can have sex with all the time but also take care of and be there for.<re>
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| 0
| 2
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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How did X make you feel?
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your sex addiction
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| 202
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ethm03
|
helppppp
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0
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help-seeking
| 1
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hey I'm trynna cop some weed in Gainesville, fl. Please hmu
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potlalaa9
| 1
| 0
| 0
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2020-01-24 22:18:29
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selfhelp
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hey I'm trynna cop some weed in Gainesville, fl. Please hmu
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| 0
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
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eibpy6
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Delusional Disorder
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1b
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help-seeking
| 1
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My divorce became final a few weeks ago. My husband exhibited signs of Delusional Disorder 3 years ago on this date - New Year’s Eve. Of course, I didn’t know what it was at the time but since he refused to go to a psychiatrist, I had to investigate it myself. When I found Delusional Disorder in my research, I knew it’s what he had. He has mostly Persecutory Type, but also some Grandiose Type. The last 3 years have been like being married to someone I don’t know; and he views me as the enemy since I have the temerity to tell him that I think he’s mentally ill. Hundreds of times I have pleaded with him to go with me to a psychiatrist. He tells me that I should go by myself because there is something wrong with me since I “can’t see what’s really going on”. Has anyone else on here had a loved with this disorder? It’s rare; and I feel very sad about the whole situation. And I cannot be mad at him because none of this is his fault.
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Boondie926
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| 10
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2020-01-01 00:57:53
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mentalillness
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My divorce became final a few weeks ago. My husband exhibited signs of Delusional Disorder 3 years ago on this date - New Year’s Eve. Of course, I didn’t know what it was at the time but since he refused to go to a psychiatrist, I had to investigate it myself. When I found Delusional Disorder in my research, I knew it’s what he had. He has mostly Persecutory Type, but also some Grandiose Type. The last 3 years have been like being married to someone I don’t know; and he views me as the enemy since I have the temerity to tell him that I think he’s mentally ill. Hundreds of times I have pleaded with him to go with me to a psychiatrist. He tells me that I should go by myself because there is something wrong with me since I “can’t see what’s really going on”. Has anyone else on here had a loved with this disorder? It’s rare; and I feel very sad about the whole situation. And I cannot be mad at him because none of this is his fault.
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| 1
| 1
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you feel about your husband's illness
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help you overcome the sadness
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| 211
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eipevy
|
Am I the only one?
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1a
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survey
| 1
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Am I the only one who can’t bring myself to say things like “I love you too” or “you’re welcome” because it feels like my only form of control sometimes? Like when someone says I love you, or thank you it feels like they are forcing the answer back? Even when I know they aren’t it still feels that way and I literally can’t bring myself to even respond.
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mellbell14
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| 0
| 5
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2020-01-01 23:13:05
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BPD
|
<es>Am I the only one who can’t bring myself to say things like “I love you too” or “you’re welcome” because it feels like my only form of control sometimes?<ee> <efs>Like when someone says I love you, or thank you it feels like they are forcing the answer back?<efe> <efs>Even when I know they aren’t it still feels that way and I literally can’t bring myself to even respond.<efe>
| 2
| 2
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| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel like being forced to answer to proposals
| null | true
| 220
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elxtbb
|
i was assaulted by two men in my own house last week and im still in shock
|
1b
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help-seeking
| 3
|
Hey idk what to do or where to go, but i need some advice. Im a 16 year old straight guy and i was raped by two men in my own house last weekend. Well how it started was that i was home alone for the weekend, so me and 5 friends decided to get wasted and go to a bar (16 is legal drinking age here). We met up at my place, drank a bit then took the bus to the city. We were at the bar for around 3 hours untill one of my friends got too drunk and 2 of them had to follow him home, there were three of us left and we decided to all go home. We all live in diffrent places of the city so we had to split up.
When i was walking down the city omw to my busstop, two guys came with me and asked whats up (i was still very drunk so i was happy to have some company) they were way older than me (around like 23-26 idk) but i didnt mind because they seemed cool. So i told them where i was going and that i was home alone (which i know was stupid). They asked where i live and i told them the area, they said they didnt live far away and said that they could follow me home, and i didnt mind since they seemed cool and i was really drunk.
So we take the bus together and we walk together for a while untill were right outside my house, here is where i kinda get a red flag. They complimented on my house and asked if they could join in, and we could have a "nachspiel" or afterparty. I was kinda hesitant and said something about that i couldnt and i had to sleep, but they kept pushing and said stuff like "its still early", "cmon man dont be like that", so i said we could hang out for an hour and then they had to go (i know i should have said more to stop them). So when we came in they sat down on the couch, pulled out more alcohol they had in a bag and we continued to drink and just watch tv.
We talked casually a bit and they kept giving me beer and a couple of shots even though i was already really drunk. And when they noticed i that i had gotten visibly really drunk, they asked when my family was coming home and if im alone the entire weekend, i said yes. They then started asking if i was gay or bi etc and i said no, i dont remember much but i remember they started asking sexually charged questions even though i had said i was straight. Thats when i realized what was going on, i started getting nervous, and in a drunken response to that nervousness i answered stuff like "ew im not a f*g wtf". After i said that, one of them sat closer and started grabbing my thigh, saying "you sure?". I tried to push him off but as i said, these guys were way bigger than me and he pushed me way harder down on the couch, after that one of them held me down while the other forcefully pulled off my clothes, i dont wanna get into details
This is one of the worst things ive ever experienced and i cant get it out of my head, it was so painful and humiliating. As i said these guys were way bigger and stronger than me so i couldnt do much to resist. while one of them held me down, they kept hitting md and slapping me, calling me names like "f***ot" and other slurs, i was crying and begging them to stop because it hurted so much, but they just kept telling me to stop resisting and it would be over quicker. it lasted about 20 minutes in total i think
i cant write this without crying again, i hate this and i want it out of my head, even though i was almost blackout drunk i remember how it felt so vividly. i cant believe i lost my virginity to this and i feel so emasculated and dirty and humiliated and idk if ill ever be the same. I keep thinking about how stupid i was that let them into my house and didnt stop them, how i couldve prevented it. I feel so tricked and naive, and it was on my couch so everytime im in my living room Ill remember it :( even though it was horrific im so glad they left after they were done, and that they didnt kill me
I havent told anyone and i need someone to talk to or someone to give me some advice or someone whove been through something similar. but thanks for reading
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snorkel__
| 1
| 0
| 12
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2020-01-08 19:51:19
|
rapecounseling
|
<rs>Hey idk what to do or where to go, but i need some advice.<re> <es>Im a 16 year old straight guy and i was raped by two men in my own house last weekend.<ee> <es>Well how it started was that i was home alone for the weekend, so me and 5 friends decided to get wasted and go to a bar (16 is legal drinking age here).<ee> <es>We met up at my place, drank a bit then took the bus to the city.<ee> <es>We were at the bar for around 3 hours untill one of my friends got too drunk and 2 of them had to follow him home, there were three of us left and we decided to all go home.<ee> <es>We all live in diffrent places of the city so we had to split up. <ee> <es>When i was walking down the city omw to my busstop, two guys came with me and asked whats up (i was still very drunk so i was happy to have some company) they were way older than me (around like 23-26 idk) but i didnt mind because they seemed cool.<ee> <es>So i told them where i was going and that i was home alone (which i know was stupid).<ee> <es>They asked where i live and i told them the area, they said they didnt live far away and said that they could follow me home, and i didnt mind since they seemed cool and i was really drunk.<ee> <es>So we take the bus together and we walk together for a while untill were right outside my house, here is where i kinda get a red flag.<ee> <es>They complimented on my house and asked if they could join in, and we could have a "nachspiel" or afterparty.<ee> <es>I was kinda hesitant and said something about that i couldnt and i had to sleep, but they kept pushing and said stuff like "its still early", "cmon man dont be like that", so i said we could hang out for an hour and then they had to go (i know i should have said more to stop them).<ee> <es>So when we came in they sat down on the couch, pulled out more alcohol they had in a bag and we continued to drink and just watch tv.<ee> <es>We talked casually a bit and they kept giving me beer and a couple of shots even though i was already really drunk.<ee> <es>And when they noticed i that i had gotten visibly really drunk, they asked when my family was coming home and if im alone the entire weekend, i said yes.<ee> <es>They then started asking if i was gay or bi etc and i said no, i dont remember much but i remember they started asking sexually charged questions even though i had said i was straight.<ee> <es>Thats when i realized what was going on, i started getting nervous, and in a drunken response to that nervousness i answered stuff like "ew im not a f*g wtf".<ee> <es>After i said that, one of them sat closer and started grabbing my thigh, saying "you sure?".<ee> <es>I tried to push him off but as i said, these guys were way bigger than me and he pushed me way harder down on the couch, after that one of them held me down while the other forcefully pulled off my clothes, i dont wanna get into details<ee> <efs>This is one of the worst things ive ever experienced and i cant get it out of my head, it was so painful and humiliating.<efe> <es>As i said these guys were way bigger and stronger than me so i couldnt do much to resist.<ee> <es>while one of them held me down, they kept hitting md and slapping me, calling me names like "f***ot" and other slurs, i was crying and begging them to stop because it hurted so much, but they just kept telling me to stop resisting and it would be over quicker.<ee> <es>it lasted about 20 minutes in total i think<ee> <efs>i cant write this without crying again, i hate this and i want it out of my head, even though i was almost blackout drunk i remember how it felt so vividly.<efe> <efs>i cant believe i lost my virginity to this and i feel so emasculated and dirty and humiliated and idk if ill ever be the same.<efe> <efs>I keep thinking about how stupid i was that let them into my house and didnt stop them, how i couldve prevented it.<efe> <efs>I feel so tricked and naive, and it was on my couch so everytime im in my living room Ill remember it :( even though it was horrific im so glad they left after they were done, and that they didnt kill me<efe> <rs>I havent told anyone and i need someone to talk to or someone to give me some advice or someone whove been through something similar.<re> but thanks for reading
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| 222
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ei9m67
|
K so I feel like the world’s shittiest gf
|
1a
|
rant
| 2
|
Found out about a week or two ago that my bf had been hitting up/sketchily talking to other girls during the beginning of our relationship. We’ve been together 4 years and the last 3 have been great. We’ve had our ups and downs of course but have grown a lot together. My bf has been so apologetic and understanding of my feelings; I truly believe that he just made a mistake as an immature 20 yr old, he acknowledges it and is remorseful. He’s shown that he is dedicated to building our relationship back up and we’ve been really good since. But it all kind of hit me today and I had a full blown panic attack. He decided to stay home with me instead of going to a party that he was really looking forward to. I didn’t ask him to and I feel so guilty. I’m not really looking for advice or anything just wanna see who else struggles with feeling guilty when partners do nice/supportive things or compromise or make compromises. He’s done nothing to make me feel this way and has shown me nothing but love and support. Ugh
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ijustwanttoseemydog1
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2019-12-31 22:08:37
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Anxiety
|
<es>Found out about a week or two ago that my bf had been hitting up/sketchily talking to other girls during the beginning of our relationship.<ee> <es>We’ve been together 4 years and the last 3 have been great.<ee> <es>We’ve had our ups and downs of course but have grown a lot together.<ee> <es>My bf has been so apologetic and understanding of my feelings;<ee> <es>I truly believe that he just made a mistake as an immature 20 yr old, he acknowledges it and is remorseful.<ee> <es>He’s shown that he is dedicated to building our relationship back up and we’ve been really good since.<ee> <es>But it all kind of hit me today and I had a full blown panic attack.<ee> <es>He decided to stay home with me instead of going to a party that he was really looking forward to.<ee> <efs>I didn’t ask him to and I feel so guilty.<efe> <rs>I’m not really looking for advice or anything just wanna see who else struggles with feeling guilty when partners do nice/supportive things or compromise or make compromises.<re> <es>He’s done nothing to make me feel this way and has shown me nothing but love and support.<ee> Ugh
| 2
| 1
| 2
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how the panic attack made you feel
| null | null | null | true
| 212
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em0nq9
|
Advice for updating ICE info
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0
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help-seeking
| 1
|
To keep things brief I've been off meds and struggling lately, and I'm overhauling my medical records binder since I'm changing psychiatrists. Everything in here is 2 years out of date. I'm wondering what neat recommendations you all have for the In Case of Emergency page I will be putting in the very front. I will put who to call if this binder is found, my name and dx, which tab to check to see what meds im on, and my pcp's contact info and #1 emergency contact (my dear husband). But like, what else? How do you say I'm not crazy I'm just traumatized, here is how to handle me? Like, I'm not even sure i know that myself.
Tia.
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stayclassyflorida
| 1
| 0
| 2
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2020-01-08 23:11:47
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ptsd
|
<es>To keep things brief I've been off meds and struggling lately, and I'm overhauling my medical records binder since I'm changing psychiatrists.<ee> <es>Everything in here is 2 years out of date.<ee> <rs>I'm wondering what neat recommendations you all have for the In Case of Emergency page I will be putting in the very front.<re> <rs>I will put who to call if this binder is found, my name and dx, which tab to check to see what meds im on, and my pcp's contact info and #1 emergency contact (my dear husband).<re> <rs>But like, what else?<re> <rs>How do you say I'm not crazy I'm just traumatized, here is how to handle me?<re> Like, I'm not even sure i know that myself. Tia.
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| 0
| 2
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what your were taking medicines for
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How did X make you feel?
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going off the medicines
| null | null | null | true
| 102
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eiknz5
|
How to accept death?
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1
|
Humanity will probably die in a few years. How do I accept death and still live the last years we have on this earth normally without having an anxiety attack every two days?
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gaigelt
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-01 17:11:23
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Anxiety
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Humanity will probably die in a few years. <es>How do I accept death and still live the last years we have on this earth normally without having an anxiety attack every two days?<ee>
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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your anxiety attacks
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How did X make you feel?
|
your anxiety attacks
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are having anxiety attacks
| null | true
| 100
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eilrx9
|
Sometimes I feel that killing myself is the only way to get back at everyone who hurt me, and will really show who cares
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
I know "just succeed in life and that will be sweet revenge!" Well I haven't been succeeding and this BPD has been beating me everyday
I know I am not strong enough for this game called "life" so why bother? To all those who abused and bullied me, I hope you'll actually feel better
Especially my dead abusive mother who is burning in hell I hope for all the shit she put me through. She always wanted me dead so this would be her wish granted
I'd like to hope that maybe I will end up in an after life or heaven, I can be at peace and look down at my enemies and see them weep and hopefully suffer some awesome bad karma
This is the only way I'll be happy by the way. People only care when you're dead
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fulffmeetspan
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-01 18:36:14
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BPD
|
<efs>Sometimes I feel that killing myself is the only way to get back at everyone who hurt me, and will really show who cares<efe> <es>I know "just succeed in life and that will be sweet revenge!"<ee> <es>Well I haven't been succeeding and this BPD has been beating me everyday <ee> <es>I know I am not strong enough for this game called "life" so why bother?<ee> To all those who abused and bullied me, I hope you'll actually feel better <es>Especially my dead abusive mother who is burning in hell I hope for all the shit she put me through.<ee> <es>She always wanted me dead so this would be her wish granted<ee> I'd like to hope that maybe I will end up in an after life or heaven, I can be at peace and look down at my enemies and see them weep and hopefully suffer some awesome bad karma This is the only way I'll be happy by the way. People only care when you're dead
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your BPD is affecting you everyday
| null | true
| 220
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eiqydd
|
Tips on dealing with Vyvanse’s appetite suppressant?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Im a very active teen but sometimes I will eat less than 500 calories a day and my doctor says it might be affecting my growth. It’s not that I don’t want to eat, but I either forget or just don’t put any importance on it. I tried to switch to focalin, witch helped a little bit with my appetite, but didn’t seem effective enough, so I switched back for now.
|
CrispyTowelette
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-01-02 01:15:08
|
ADHD
|
<rs>Tips on dealing with Vyvanse’s appetite suppressant?<re> <es>Im a very active teen but sometimes I will eat less than 500 calories a day and my doctor says it might be affecting my growth.<ee> <es>It’s not that I don’t want to eat, but I either forget or just don’t put any importance on it.<ee> <es> I tried to switch to focalin, witch helped a little bit with my appetite, but didn’t seem effective enough, so I switched back for now.<ee>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
forgetting to eat
| null | null | null | true
| 202
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eiebrh
|
Being in 2020 feels weird.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I planned on killing myself in July and backed out of it, it almost feels like I’m not meant to experience right now.
|
Big_LettuceBoi
| 1
| 0
| 2
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2020-01-01 05:07:34
|
selfharm
|
<efs>Being in 2020 feels weird.<efe> <es>I planned on killing myself in July and backed out of it, it almost feels like I’m not meant to experience right now.<ee>
| 1
| 1
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you planned to kill yourself
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how being in 2020
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are feeling weird being in 2020
| null | true
| 110
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eiab7z
|
Dread spending time with family..
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
I really feel like an outcast with ny family. I feel like no one shares the same interests as me. They all enjoy partying and drinking and dancing. All that stuff is cool but I personally don't really find it fun. They think I'm boring because I'm extremely introverted and always try to push me to do stuff they want to do.
For example, my sister always pushes me to go to bars and stuff with her. I hate it, but I go because i feel bad saying no and also because I love her. But we never do stuff I want to do because she thinks it's boring. My whole family is like that. Since it's xmas, they're of course partying it up. I didn't spend xmas with them, I actually stayed home alone and played video games with a friend so it wasn't horrible. Also this year has been horrible for me, my depression and anxiety have gotten so bad and I've been battling suicidal thiughts for months now so I'm really not in a partying mood. Usually every year I spend it with them but this year is just not it..
Today is the New years party lol
I want to stay home yet again but my grandma called me and asked me to please come because she wants to see me and I feel like such an asshole. I feel like such a bitch to my family because they probably think I don't want to spend time with them and they probably feel like i don't love them but i do. I love them so much but it's so boring to sit there for hours while they have fun. My sister said something too that is still resonating in my head. She said I should go for my grandma because when she dies, I'm going to wish I had spent more time with her.
Am i being dumb? Should I just suck it up and go.. I really dont want to lolol I hate this feeling. Whenever I spend time with my family in a lowkey setting, I love it. Like an hour ago we had dinner and we were all just eating and talking, it was nice. Wish it were like that more often.
|
worrywagon
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2019-12-31 23:04:44
|
Anxiety
|
<efs>I really feel like an outcast with ny family.<efe> <efs>I feel like no one shares the same interests as me.<efe> <es>They all enjoy partying and drinking and dancing.<ee> <es>All that stuff is cool but I personally don't really find it fun.<ee> <es>They think I'm boring because I'm extremely introverted and always try to push me to do stuff they want to do.<ee> <es>For example, my sister always pushes me to go to bars and stuff with her.<ee> <es>I hate it, but I go because i feel bad saying no and also because I love her.<ee> <es>But we never do stuff I want to do because she thinks it's boring.<ee> <es>My whole family is like that.<ee> <es>Since it's xmas, they're of course partying it up.<ee> <es>I didn't spend xmas with them, I actually stayed home alone and played video games with a friend so it wasn't horrible.<ee> <es>Also this year has been horrible for me, my depression and anxiety have gotten so bad and I've been battling suicidal thiughts for months now so I'm really not in a partying mood.<ee> <es>Usually every year I spend it with them but this year is just not it..<ee> <es>Today is the New years party lol<ee> <es>I want to stay home yet again but my grandma called me and asked me to please come because she wants to see me and I feel like such an asshole.<ee> <efs>I feel like such a bitch to my family because they probably think I don't want to spend time with them and they probably feel like i don't love them but i do.<efe> <es>I love them so much but it's so boring to sit there for hours while they have fun.<ee> <es>My sister said something too that is still resonating in my head.<ee> <es>She said I should go for my grandma because when she dies, I'm going to wish I had spent more time with her.<ee> <rs>Am i being dumb?<re> <rs>Should I just suck it up and go.. I really dont want to lolol I hate this feeling.<re> <rs>Whenever I spend time with my family in a lowkey setting, I love it.<re> <rs>Like an hour ago we had dinner and we were all just eating and talking, it was nice.<re> <rs>Wish it were like that more often.<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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esntxw
|
I hate my DAD
|
1b
|
rant
| 2
|
I was eating dinner in my bed. My BF asked for my computer so I got up to get it for him. When I was going back, he moved my dinner into a table (I assumed he was going to lay where I was.) I jumped on the bed and went “NOOOOO I AM EATING THERE!)
And then he got pissed off at me for yelling and was saying “I wasn’t going to lay there. I thought I needed to fix the bed so I was moving your food so it wouldn’t spill.)
I’m almost positive he’s gaslighting me but nonetheless he made me seem/feel like a crazy angry psycho. I rudely said “I’m done.” And stormed out.
Now I’m just sitting in my bathroom so so so so so so so so so so so so angry and irate yet sad. Why IS my DISGUSTING FATHERS ANGER AND TEMPER inside of me?!?! Why can’t I just be a normal emotional person without getting angry at the slightest inconveniences? I always relate it back to my father because he did this to me. He ruined me and my brother with this infatuating rage.
|
questioningbeam
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-23 03:59:49
|
Anger
|
<es>I was eating dinner in my bed.<ee> <es>My BF asked for my computer so I got up to get it for him.<ee> <es>When I was going back, he moved my dinner into a table (I assumed he was going to lay where I was.) I jumped on the bed and went “NOOOOO I AM EATING THERE!)<ee> <es>And then he got pissed off at me for yelling and was saying “I wasn’t going to lay there.<ee> I thought I needed to fix the bed so I was moving your food so it wouldn’t spill.) <efs>I’m almost positive he’s gaslighting me but nonetheless he made me seem/feel like a crazy angry psycho.<efe> <es>I rudely said “I’m done.” And stormed out. <ee> <efs>Now I’m just sitting in my bathroom so so so so so so so so so so so so angry and irate yet sad.<efe> Why IS my DISGUSTING FATHERS ANGER AND TEMPER inside of me?!?! Why can’t I just be a normal emotional person without getting angry at the slightest inconveniences? <es>I always relate it back to my father because he did this to me.<ee> <es>He ruined me and my brother with this infatuating rage.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel sad about the outburst
| null | true
| 220
|
f59yyc
|
My thoughts + Plans
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
My name is Jordan Nevaeh Hope Cruz, I live with my father Pablo Cruz. Recently, I have been getting bullied by all the local girls who are whores. I am going to shoot up the local elementary school and murder all these girls with a glock pistol i have purchased through a deep web site. I have an iPhone XR which has all my bomb making instructions, with terroristic plans on my "Notes". I recently moved here to North Port Florida and i plan to take out a lot of people. Not to mention my father literally abuses me while i try to kill myself.
|
JordanHopeNevaehCruz
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-02-17 15:05:20
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>My name is Jordan Nevaeh Hope Cruz, I live with my father Pablo Cruz.<ee> <es>Recently, I have been getting bullied by all the local girls who are whores.<ee> <es>I am going to shoot up the local elementary school and murder all these girls with a glock pistol i have purchased through a deep web site.<ee> <es>I have an iPhone XR which has all my bomb making instructions, with terroristic plans on my "Notes".<ee> <es>I recently moved here to North Port Florida and i plan to take out a lot of people.<ee> <es>Not to mention my father literally abuses me while i try to kill myself.<ee>
| 2
| 0
| 0
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
being bullied by girls
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
girls in your school are bullying you
| null | true
| 200
|
fgegur
|
Anyone who had Anhedonia
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Hi everyone
Need an advice
I (22 M) struggled from depression some time ago. Had no strengths to do anything, suicidal thoughts, no hobbies, no interests etc. Even sex and food meant to me nothing. I visited psychologist, psychiatrist, read D. Burns (the last thing helped me more than pills or psychologist's sessions). And now I feel myself definitely better. But i have somewhat of post effects now. I still have, if I correctly use that term, anhedonia. I have no emotions , no interests in old and even new hobbies, no interest in sex or just Human-Human interaction. There is two states of my mind "nohow" or "satisfaction". Without any happiness. But even 3 years ago I had that all. I can't name myself as gloomy person.
So, if there is anybody, who felt the same and got over it, please, give me an advice.
Thank you for your attention.
|
Mr_Leroy
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-03-10 14:16:11
|
getting_over_it
|
Hi everyone <rs>Need an advice<re> <es>I (22 M) struggled from depression some time ago.<ee> <es>Had no strengths to do anything, suicidal thoughts, no hobbies, no interests etc.<ee> <es>Even sex and food meant to me nothing.<ee> <es>I visited psychologist, psychiatrist, read D. Burns (the last thing helped me more than pills or psychologist's sessions).<ee> <efs>And now I feel myself definitely better.<efe> <efs>But i have somewhat of post effects now.<efe> <efs>I still have, if I correctly use that term, anhedonia.<efe> <efs>I have no emotions , no interests in old and even new hobbies, no interest in sex or just Human-Human interaction.<efe> <efs>There is two states of my mind "nohow" or "satisfaction".<efe> <efs>Without any happiness.<efe> <es>But even 3 years ago I had that all.<ee> <es>I can't name myself as gloomy person.<ee> <rs>So, if there is anybody, who felt the same and got over it, please, give me an advice.<re> Thank you for your attention.
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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eivcmt
|
Tips for reducing impulsive spending?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
2020 needs to be the year I get my shit together financially but I've always struggled with impulsive spending. What works for you?
|
desertsessions333
| 1
| 0
| 20
|
2020-01-02 07:52:09
|
ADHD
|
<es>2020 needs to be the year I get my shit together financially but I've always struggled with impulsive spending.<ee> <rs>What works for you?<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 202
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ek6mnt
|
Tips for Correcting Bad Behavior Inherited from Parent?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
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So, I've realized that I've gotten a handful of bad traits from my dad. I see him do them and see myself doing the same. I get defensive in any argument. I speak badly of myself. I don't like admitting I'm wrong. I hate these behaviors and get super self-conscious when I realize what I've done afterward. Since I lived with my dad up until this year when I went off to college, I was surrounded by this behavior on his side constantly and really made these behaviors ingrained into my own. I can even catch myself acting this way when I'm at college.
I'm really stuck on what to do about this because having these behaviors really makes me hate the way I am. I never had a good relationship with my dad (that's a whole other story, though), and living with myself and seeing him in my own actions only makes it worse.
If any of you have any reccommendations for teaching myself to fight and eradicate these negative behaviors that I'm so used to. Thank you for reading :)
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nebulochaotic_
| 3
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| 6
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2020-01-05 02:27:37
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mentalillness
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<es>So, I've realized that I've gotten a handful of bad traits from my dad.<ee> <es>I see him do them and see myself doing the same.<ee> <es>I get defensive in any argument.<ee> <es>I speak badly of myself.<ee> <es>I don't like admitting I'm wrong.<ee> <efs>I hate these behaviors and get super self-conscious when I realize what I've done afterward.<efe> <es>Since I lived with my dad up until this year when I went off to college, I was surrounded by this behavior on his side constantly and really made these behaviors ingrained into my own.<ee> I can even catch myself acting this way when I'm at college. <efs>I'm really stuck on what to do about this because having these behaviors really makes me hate the way I am.<efe> <efs>I never had a good relationship with my dad (that's a whole other story, though), and living with myself and seeing him in my own actions only makes it worse.<efe> <rs>If any of you have any reccommendations for teaching myself to fight and eradicate these negative behaviors that I'm so used to.<re> Thank you for reading :)
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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eoyp9t
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If you are are a nearly 40 something woman struggling with alcoholism please Message me
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0
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chitchat
| 1
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lalanooneimportant
| 1
| 0
| 0
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2020-01-15 06:33:47
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alcoholicsanonymous
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<rs>If you are are a nearly 40 something woman struggling with alcoholism please Message me<re>
| 0
| 0
| 2
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What happened that you want X ?
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want to talk to woman struggling with alcoholism
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Why are you wanting X ?
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to talk with a woman with alcohol addiction
| null | null | null | true
| 2
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eunxml
|
The quest of happiness PDF book by Philip Gilbert Hamerton (Positive and Negative Happiness) | SharingeBook - Download Free PDF Books Legally
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0
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chitchat
| 1
| null |
webdeveloper5050
| 1
| 0
| 0
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2020-01-27 13:31:51
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selfhelp
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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| 0
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eic06a
|
Happy New Years from a disgusting, ugly piece of garbage who can’t even wear a dress.
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0
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rant
| 2
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https://imgur.com/gallery/jaXDlrJ
I was gonna wear a sparkly silver dress for New Year’s Eve but my boyfriend called attention to the mole on my back and asked me to change because it was “kind of gross” and making him uncomfortable.
I never really get dressed up or try to look girly —mostly I try to spend time on my writing— and I’ve just been reminded why.
“I’m gonna be at this club with a lot of hot girls and I want my girlfriend to look as good as possible, sorry but you don’t look good in that dress. Not with that big mole on your back. Some people just aren’t meant to wear dresses. It’s not me that made it this way, it’s just the way the world works” - my boyfriend
Funny how no one ever told me that before in all my 23 years. But I guess it takes some people time to learn how the world works.
I have changed into a t shirt and jeans.
I’m not sure why I posted this, maybe for pity, maybe for you to tell me I’m disgusting. Honestly either works. He suggested I sell all my dresses on eBay to pay for a mole removal but they apparently cost like $800 and they can grow back. So I don’t really even want to bother.
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throwaway12448es-j
| 1
| 0
| 10
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2020-01-01 01:22:51
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depression
|
https://imgur.com/gallery/jaXDlrJ <es>I was gonna wear a sparkly silver dress for New Year’s Eve but my boyfriend called attention to the mole on my back and asked me to change because it was “kind of gross” and making him uncomfortable.<ee> <es>I never really get dressed up or try to look girly —mostly I try to spend time on my writing— and I’ve just been reminded why.<ee> “I’m gonna be at this club with a lot of hot girls and I want my girlfriend to look as good as possible, sorry but you don’t look good in that dress. Not with that big mole on your back. Some people just aren’t meant to wear dresses. It’s not me that made it this way, it’s just the way the world works” - my boyfriend <es>Funny how no one ever told me that before in all my 23 years.<ee> But I guess it takes some people time to learn how the world works. I have changed into a t shirt and jeans. I’m not sure why I posted this, maybe for pity, maybe for you to tell me I’m disgusting. Honestly either works. He suggested I sell all my dresses on eBay to pay for a mole removal but they apparently cost like $800 and they can grow back. So I don’t really even want to bother.
| 2
| 0
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
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your boyfriend's insensitive comments
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel upset about your boyfriend's words
| null | true
| 200
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eueao3
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What else can I do when dealing with my narcissistic brother?
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1b
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help-seeking
| 1
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I live with him and posted about him a couple weeks ago here. Basically he’s an asshole and makes random, negative comments.
Avoidance, how can I establish firm boundaries?
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WindowsKidd
| 1
| 0
| 1
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2020-01-26 22:38:18
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getting_over_it
|
<rs>What else can I do when dealing with my narcissistic brother?<re> <es>I live with him and posted about him a couple weeks ago here.<ee> <es>Basically he’s an asshole and makes random, negative comments.<ee> <rs>Avoidance, how can I establish firm boundaries?<re>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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why your brother makes negative comments
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How did X make you feel?
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the negative comments
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title
| true
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el8t8s
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We need help
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1b
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help-seeking
| 1
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So this isn't me but my girlfriend. In 2016 she was raped on a boat by her dad's best friend (he was between 50-60 at the time) She recently started going to counciling for what had happened to her. She went for the first time this year after the Christmas holidays and as she was at the therapy, they discovered that when it happened the first time she can no longer remember what happened between when it started and ended. Apparently this was because she didn't emotionally connect with the event which lead her brain to just simply forget it. Ever since she's known this she's started to have massive panic attacks and just wants to know what happened to her body. Has anyone in here had any similar experiences with this? We both feel so helpless and this is the only thing I can think of that might help
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117ishappy
| 1
| 0
| 1
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2020-01-07 08:27:50
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rapecounseling
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<es>So this isn't me but my girlfriend.<ee> <es>In 2016 she was raped on a boat by her dad's best friend (he was between 50-60 at the time)<ee> <es>She recently started going to counciling for what had happened to her.<ee> <es>She went for the first time this year after the Christmas holidays and as she was at the therapy, they discovered that when it happened the first time she can no longer remember what happened between when it started and ended.<ee> <es>Apparently this was because she didn't emotionally connect with the event which lead her brain to just simply forget it.<ee> <es>Ever since she's known this she's started to have massive panic attacks and just wants to know what happened to her body.<ee> <rs>Has anyone in here had any similar experiences with this?<re> <efs>We both feel so helpless and this is the only thing I can think of that might help<efe>
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f21ko8
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I found this helped me alot to control myself, a user reccomended me this id like to share it
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0
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chitchat
| 1
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He says: A walk does wonders. Especially if you can get to a park or something. 3 years ago I had a mental crash due to depression and work stress. Doctor told me to go for a walk every day. It works. Get out in nature, walk till you find a quiet secluded spot and just chill for 5 minutes.
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TrickRick69
| 1
| 0
| 1
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2020-02-11 02:29:41
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Anger
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He says: A walk does wonders. Especially if you can get to a park or something. 3 years ago I had a mental crash due to depression and work stress. Doctor told me to go for a walk every day. It works. Get out in nature, walk till you find a quiet secluded spot and just chill for 5 minutes.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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positive
| true
| 0
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ei7yne
|
Hello
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1a
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rant
| 1
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I have bipolar depression. Diagnosed when I was 11. Anyways it's been "under control" I feel my self slipping back under.😞. All I want to do is sleep getting up and out of the house feels like torture I haven't left my bed in 4 days( I'm on vacation from work for a whole 9 days ). Everytime I eat I feel so sick I throw it all up. I feel better when I'm sleeping I wake up to feel gross and go back to sleep it's new years eve and we are hosting a party me and my boyfriend. And all I wanna do is sleep . Every year I decorate the house I feel so excited but this year. I dont feel anything. I'm so numb that my uncle is in the hospital and I can't feel sad about it. Its makes feel disgusted towards myself. Im sorry for being ggv such a downer. I hope everyone has a wonderful new years. I just had to vent a little I'm sorry.
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erikatay23
| 1
| 0
| 1
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2019-12-31 19:58:02
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depression
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<es>I have bipolar depression.<ee> Diagnosed when I was 11.<es> Anyways it's been "under control" I feel my self slipping back under.<ee>😞. <efs>All I want to do is sleep getting up and out of the house feels like torture I haven't left my bed in 4 days( I'm on vacation from work for a whole 9 days ).<efe> <efs>Everytime I eat I feel so sick I throw it all up.<efe> <efs>I feel better when I'm sleeping I wake up to feel gross and go back to sleep it's new years eve and we are hosting a party me and my boyfriend.<efe> And all I wanna do is sleep . Every year I decorate the house I feel so excited but this year. I dont feel anything. <efs>I'm so numb that my uncle is in the hospital and I can't feel sad about it.<efe> <efs>Its makes feel disgusted towards myself.<efe> Im sorry for being ggv such a downer. I hope everyone has a wonderful new years. I just had to vent a little I'm sorry.
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| 2
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel you are slipping back
| null | true
| 220
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eo8jof
|
2 years today :)
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0
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chitchat
| 1
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Hi everybody,
I don't post much here but I do browse often and I just want you all to know that I did not think I would ever be clean. I thought I would use until I was dead. Honestly, living sober wasn't ever an option in my head. Yet here I am, 2 years sober today. I've managed to work up from being homeless to a full time job, leasing a house, have a wonderful (and gorgeous) girlfriend, and even got a car for my own Christmas present. I'm not perfect, and life still sucks sometimes, but its been worth it.
If you're struggling or contemplative don't give up! You will find your way :)
-Tay
|
TheRealRushky
| 1
| 0
| 21
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2020-01-13 19:02:11
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OpiatesRecovery
|
Hi everybody, I don't post much here but I do browse often and I just want you all to know that I did not think I would ever be clean. I thought I would use until I was dead. Honestly, living sober wasn't ever an option in my head. Yet here I am, 2 years sober today. I've managed to work up from being homeless to a full time job, leasing a house, have a wonderful (and gorgeous) girlfriend, and even got a car for my own Christmas present. I'm not perfect, and life still sucks sometimes, but its been worth it. If you're struggling or contemplative don't give up! You will find your way :) -Tay
| 0
| 0
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
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ejqyu8
|
This is me..
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0
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chitchat
| 3
| null |
Mysteriously7
| 1,605
| 0
| 77
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2020-01-04 03:32:06
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socialanxiety
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
eivah9
|
Always feel like everyone stares at me in public
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
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It gets so annoying and occasionally distressing when every time I walk in a room in any public setting, people just stare at me. I walk past people, minding my own business, and they turn and look straight at me like I have a billboard on my face or something. I can see people in my peripheral vision, they literally seem to stop what they’re doing to look at me. I see girls trying desperately to flip their hair, change course, and walk right in front of me hoping I will look at them. I’m not going to acknowledge you, sorry. I won’t brag about my looks, but I am above average. Still, it would be nice to just run simple errands or do my daily routine in peace. I am just a human male. A white guy, in fact. There are a lot of me. No need to freak out when I walk into a room. I barely even like making eye contact with people in conversations because it feels invasive when you overdo it.
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mississippiblue
| 1
| 0
| 2
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2020-01-02 07:44:50
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Anxiety
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<efs>It gets so annoying and occasionally distressing when every time I walk in a room in any public setting, people just stare at me.<efe> <es>I walk past people, minding my own business, and they turn and look straight at me like I have a billboard on my face or something.<ee> <es>I can see people in my peripheral vision, they literally seem to stop what they’re doing to look at me.<ee> <es>I see girls trying desperately to flip their hair, change course, and walk right in front of me hoping I will look at them.<ee> <es>I’m not going to acknowledge you, sorry.<ee> <es>I won’t brag about my looks, but I am above average.<ee> <rs>Still, it would be nice to just run simple errands or do my daily routine in peace.<re> I am just a human male. A white guy, in fact. There are a lot of me. No need to freak out when I walk into a room. <efs>I barely even like making eye contact with people in conversations because it feels invasive when you overdo it.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel uncomfortable by the stares
| null | true
| 220
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f30qfu
|
I fucking hate this so much!
|
1b
|
rant
| 3
|
I hate not knowing how to classify what happened.
I hate how it bothers me still. Hate how I can’t stop obsessing over it. I want nothing more than to let it go. But for some reason I can’t.
I hate the fact that at one point I thought it was just “sucky and awkward but at the end of the day consensual” sex.
I hate that my friends thought it was anything else. Made me aware it could be anything else.
I hate that now I am convinced. Whether it is true or not. It’s the way I feel now. And I hate that it is a part of my personal narrative
I hate feeling so fucking invalid. I hate that some dark part of me wishes that I had been drunk or forced or something more concrete because at least then I would know what happened was real. And that my feelings are justified. At least then I could see my experience reflected in the media and not feel so fucking alone (I know that is so sick and twisted and borderline insulting and don’t worry. I hate myself more than anyone else could ever hate me)
I hate that no matter how many times I said no, he just kept trying. Even when I pulled away violently. Even when I went somewhere else. Even when he was legit physically restraining me from harming myself
I hate that I didn’t just leave. I could have. He wouldn’t have physically stopped me.
I hate that it was basically 3 days of mindfucking, fights, suicide attempts (on my part), and nonstop sexual advances (which I kept saying no to just leading to more fights)
I hate that eventually he found the thing to say that flipped the switch in my head to where now I was willing to do what he wanted and saw it as logical.
I hate that I can’t remember how the actual sex was initiated. Like how it happened.
I hate that I said yes (or at least let him and participated more than just laying there)
Below I pasted like what actually happened so you can just scroll all the way to the bottom if you don’t want to see it/don’t care:
So this happened when I first met my online (now ex) boyfriend in person.
He like for 3 straight days he kept trying. Every 5 minutes. We would be cuddling. And he would inevitably try to intiate. How far I let his hands go would vary. But inevitably I would stop him. And move his hands back. And then 5 minutes later he would try again. And again. I confronted him about not respecting me and he cried and said he felt like a terrible person but hen the next day he did the same shit. No matter how far I let him go. He wanted more. Sometimes I would tell him he could put his hand on the outside of my ass/vagina and every fucking time he would try to like go inside it. I tried to kill myself 5 times over the course of those 3 days and at one point he chased me around the room to get the thing I was going to use and then he touches me and says "you're wet" which like priorities man. At one point I was fucking violently pulling away when he would try to touch me but yet every fucking 10 minutes he still kept trying. He kept getting upset when I didn't want to. For 3 fucking days. Until. On Thursday. He tried more of the same. And I said no again and we had another fight. I was so scared he would leave me. So the next time he tried to. I let him. He checked in. And I said it was fine. I could have said no. And he would have stopped. At least for then until he inevitably tried again 5 minutes later. But I didn't. Because I didn't want him to leave me. And I fucking hate myself for it. I feel like that girl who like has regrettable sex and then makes a big deal out of nothing. And that makes me hate myself. becayse I said yes. And like I know coerced half insane consent isnt really consent but idk. I just hate myself a lot. And the person I am now. The stable ish person. Would never have let that happen. Would have walked out after the first night. But. The person I was then. Was so terrified of being abandoned that I put up with more than I should have and I know it's not my fault. But. It feels like it is.
|
Throw_Away_122118
| 1
| 0
| 12
|
2020-02-12 23:57:59
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rapecounseling
|
<efs>I hate not knowing how to classify what happened. <efe> <efs>I hate how it bothers me still.<efe> <es>Hate how I can’t stop obsessing over it.<ee> <es>I want nothing more than to let it go.<ee> <es>But for some reason I can’t. <ee> <efs>I hate the fact that at one point I thought it was just “sucky and awkward but at the end of the day consensual” sex. <efe> <es>I hate that my friends thought it was anything else.<ee> <es>Made me aware it could be anything else.<ee> <efs>I hate that now I am convinced.<efe> <es>Whether it is true or not.<ee> <es>It’s the way I feel now.<ee> <efs>And I hate that it is a part of my personal narrative<efe> <efs>I hate feeling so fucking invalid.<efe> <efs>I hate that some dark part of me wishes that I had been drunk or forced or something more concrete because at least then I would know what happened was real.<efe> <es>And that my feelings are justified.<ee> <efs>At least then I could see my experience reflected in the media and not feel so fucking alone (I know that is so sick and twisted and borderline insulting and don’t worry. I hate myself more than anyone else could ever hate me) <efe> <es>I hate that no matter how many times I said no, he just kept trying.<ee> <es>Even when I pulled away violently.<ee> <es>Even when I went somewhere else.<ee> <es>Even when he was legit physically restraining me from harming myself<ee> <es>I hate that I didn’t just leave.<ee> <es>I could have.<ee> <es>He wouldn’t have physically stopped me. <ee> <es>I hate that it was basically 3 days of mindfucking, fights, suicide attempts (on my part), and nonstop sexual advances (which I kept saying no to just leading to more fights) <ee> <es>I hate that eventually he found the thing to say that flipped the switch in my head to where now I was willing to do what he wanted and saw it as logical. <ee> <es>I hate that I can’t remember how the actual sex was initiated.<ee> <es>Like how it happened. <ee> <es>I hate that I said yes (or at least let him and participated more than just laying there) <ee> Below I pasted like what actually happened so you can just scroll all the way to the bottom if you don’t want to see it/don’t care: <es>So this happened when I first met my online (now ex) boyfriend in person. <ee> <es>He like for 3 straight days he kept trying.<ee> <es>Every 5 minutes.<ee> <es>We would be cuddling.<ee> <es>And he would inevitably try to initiate.<ee> <es>How far I let his hands go would vary.<ee> <es>But inevitably I would stop him.<ee> <es>And move his hands back.<ee> <es>And then 5 minutes later he would try again.<ee> <es>And again.<ee> <es>I confronted him about not respecting me and he cried and said he felt like a terrible person but hen the next day he did the same shit.<ee> <es>No matter how far I let him go.<ee> <es>He wanted more.<ee> <es>Sometimes I would tell him he could put his hand on the outside of my ass/vagina and every fucking time he would try to like go inside it.<ee> <es>I tried to kill myself 5 times over the course of those 3 days and at one point he chased me around the room to get the thing I was going to use and then he touches me and says "you're wet" which like priorities man.<ee> <es>At one point I was fucking violently pulling away when he would try to touch me but yet every fucking 10 minutes he still kept trying.<ee> <es>He kept getting upset when I didn't want to.<ee> <es>For 3 fucking days.<ee> <es>Until.<ee> <es>On Thursday.<ee> <es>He tried more of the same.<ee> <es>And I said no again and we had another fight.<ee> <es>I was so scared he would leave me.<ee> <es>So the next time he tried to.<ee> <es>I let him.<ee> <es>He checked in.<ee> <es>And I said it was fine.<ee> <es>I could have said no.<ee> <es>And he would have stopped.<ee> <es>At least for then until he inevitably tried again 5 minutes later.<ee> <es>But I didn't.<ee> <es>Because I didn't want him to leave me.<ee> <efs>And I fucking hate myself for it.<efe> <efs>I feel like that girl who like has regrettable sex and then makes a big deal out of nothing.<efe> <efs>And that makes me hate myself.<efe> <es>becayse I said yes.<ee> <es>And like I know coerced half insane consent isnt really consent but idk.<ee> <efs>I just hate myself a lot.<efe> <efs>And the person I am now.<efe> <es>The stable ish person.<ee> <es>Would never have let that happen.<ee> <es>Would have walked out after the first night.<ee> <es>But.<ee> <es>The person I was then.<ee> <es>Was so terrified of being abandoned that I put up with more than I should have and I know it's not my fault.<ee> <es>But.<ee> <es>It feels like it is.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you put up with more than you should due to abandonment issues
| null | true
| 220
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elj6ps
|
I need to help, I can't handle it anymore but I'm already helped.
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0
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help-seeking
| 1
| null |
Innominato1579
| 1
| 0
| 7
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2020-01-07 22:45:28
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mentalillness
|
I need to help, I can't handle it anymore but I'm already helped. nan
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
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eil0kc
|
Lowering Adderall XR Dosage - any advice?
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0
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survey
| 1
|
I’ve been taking 30mg XR for my ADHD everyday for 7 years. Haven’t experienced any issues that I’m aware of really. But I told my new doctor that I’d like to start lowering my dosage because of the negative long term effects it can have. Today is my first day on 20mg XR, which was prescribed for the next 90 days. Then my physician and I will evaluate.
Has anyone experienced cutting down dosage on this medication? Any side effects I should know about or advice?
Thanks!
|
SRAIW
| 1
| 0
| 0
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2020-01-01 17:38:19
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ADHD
|
<es>I’ve been taking 30mg XR for my ADHD everyday for 7 years.<ee> <es>Haven’t experienced any issues that I’m aware of really.<ee> <es>But I told my new doctor that I’d like to start lowering my dosage because of the negative long term effects it can have.<ee> <es>Today is my first day on 20mg XR, which was prescribed for the next 90 days.<ee> <es>Then my physician and I will evaluate. <ee> <rs>Has anyone experienced cutting down dosage on this medication?<re> <rs>Any side effects I should know about or advice? <re> Thanks!
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
taking 30mg XR
| null | null | null | true
| 202
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ekh64o
|
I just need help man
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
So, I'm writing this in hope that someone can give me some advice on what to do
To start I was in a relationship with this guy, I went to his house and we were in his home theatre and long story short some non consensual things happened. I can't get it off my mind. I can't tell anyone in real life. I'm falling behind in school, I'm just struggling in general. My grandparents invited me to great wolf lodge my mom said yes but my dad said no. (They aren't together) My dad said for me to give him a reason I should be allowed to go. I couldn't give him one but I was really looking forward to going. Oh well 🤷🏾♀️. Im sitting in my room like I always do just thinking about the situation over and over. It wasn't rape. He did touch me after I told him no and some other things. I called the hotline yesterday as a last resort because I have so much going on in my life. It left me with more questions than answers. I wrote about what happened on a piece of paper but I want to destroy that paper now, god forbid anyone reads it. My dad didn't get me anything for Christmas because he said I didn't deserve anything due to my grades. Same reason I cant go to GWL. I said I have work you can give to my teachers but I got yelled at for even having the audacity to ask. I want to tell him about what happened to give him an idea of what's going on in my head but he would flip out. Im stuck, upset, sad, feeling used, and misunderstood.
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who123456755
| 1
| 0
| 1
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2020-01-05 18:50:51
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rapecounseling
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<rs>So, I'm writing this in hope that someone can give me some advice on what to do<re> <es>To start I was in a relationship with this guy, I went to his house and we were in his home theatre and long story short some non consensual things happened.<ee> <es>I can't get it off my mind.<ee> <es>I can't tell anyone in real life. I'm falling behind in school, I'm just struggling in general.<ee> <es>My grandparents invited me to great wolf lodge my mom said yes but my dad said no. (They aren't together)<ee> <es>My dad said for me to give him a reason I should be allowed to go.<ee> <es>I couldn't give him one but I was really looking forward to going.<ee> <es>Oh well . <es>Im sitting in my room like I always do just thinking about the situation over and over.<ee> <es>It wasn't rape.<ee> <es>He did touch me after I told him no and some other things.<ee> <es>I called the hotline yesterday as a last resort because I have so much going on in my life.<ee> <es>It left me with more questions than answers.<ee> <es>I wrote about what happened on a piece of paper but I want to destroy that paper now, god forbid anyone reads it.<ee> <es>My dad didn't get me anything for Christmas because he said I didn't deserve anything due to my grades.<ee> <es>Same reason I cant go to GWL.<ee> <es>I said I have work you can give to my teachers but I got yelled at for even having the audacity to ask.<ee> <es>I want to tell him about what happened to give him an idea of what's going on in my head but he would flip out.<ee> <efs>Im stuck, upset, sad, feeling used, and misunderstood.<efe>
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f08laj
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It’s 5 am and I’m icing my eye
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1b
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rant
| 2
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I’ve been in a relationship with him 3 years but known him more than half my life. I never thought when we started dating that it would come to this. He’s been hitting me and I’ve been making excuses but I think ppl are starting to suspect what’s going on. We don’t live together anymore but we’re planning to soon and now I just want to move and not tell him where me and our kid are moving to.
He punched me in the eye twice because I asked him why he was late and why the seat was leaked back in my car when he picked me up from work. Unbeknownst to me he had been drinking. I was seeing double at first but it resolved after a few minutes. When he was driving to the place he’s staying he kept apologizing. He tried to hug me when he got out which I didn’t return. He apologized again saying he needs therapy (which I agree with). All I could say was “you’re always sorry afterwards but you keep doing it. You could have permanently destroyed my vision.” But I started crying so I got in the driver seat and left him standing there. He’s been texting me since I got home but I can’t even respond. I’m so tired of this. Now I have to go to work with a swollen eye and lie some more about how it happened.
I love him but I hate him at the same time. And it’s clear he doesn’t love me. I need to get away but I’m scared. I live with family and I don’t want him to do something to them or their property when he can’t get to me.
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CantDoThisDV
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| 10
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2020-02-07 10:17:52
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domesticviolence
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<es>I’ve been in a relationship with him 3 years but known him more than half my life.<ee> <es>I never thought when we started dating that it would come to this.<ee> <es>He’s been hitting me and I’ve been making excuses but I think ppl are starting to suspect what’s going on.<ee> <es>We don’t live together anymore but we’re planning to soon and now I just want to move and not tell him where me and our kid are moving to.<ee> <es>He punched me in the eye twice because I asked him why he was late and why the seat was leaked back in my car when he picked me up from work.<ee> <es>Unbeknownst to me he had been drinking.<ee> <es>I was seeing double at first but it resolved after a few minutes.<ee> <es>When he was driving to the place he’s staying he kept apologizing.<ee> <es>He tried to hug me when he got out which I didn’t return.<ee> <es>He apologized again saying he needs therapy (which I agree with).<ee> <es>All I could say was “you’re always sorry afterwards but you keep doing it. You could have permanently destroyed my vision.”<ee> <es>But I started crying so I got in the driver seat and left him standing there.<ee> <es>He’s been texting me since I got home but I can’t even respond.<ee> <efs>I’m so tired of this.<efe> <es>Now I have to go to work with a swollen eye and lie some more about how it happened. <ee> <efs>I love him but I hate him at the same time.<efe> <es>And it’s clear he doesn’t love me.<ee> <rs>I need to get away but I’m scared.<re> <rs>I live with family and I don’t want him to do something to them or their property when he can’t get to me.<re>
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ekidxj
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Tomorrow is my first day of college
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1a
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help-seeking
| 1
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I've been planning on arriving a bit late to avoid introductions, but that'll be no use and it'll be more awkward, so far, I'm contemplating sitting right in the middle to think what I'll say about myself.
I have some things in mind to say about me but I don't know if i'll screw it up during it.
Any advice will be appreciated
Sorry for any grammar mistakes. (English is my 2nd language)
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unforbyed
| 1
| 0
| 4
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2020-01-05 20:15:11
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socialanxiety
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<es>I've been planning on arriving a bit late to avoid introductions, but that'll be no use and it'll be more awkward, so far, I'm contemplating sitting right in the middle to think what I'll say about myself. <ee> <es>I have some things in mind to say about me but I don't know if i'll screw it up during it.<ee> <rs>Any advice will be appreciated<re> Sorry for any grammar mistakes. (English is my 2nd language)
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How did X make you feel?
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giving introductions
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help you overcome your anxiety
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| 201
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enqqaa
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I am addicted to being on the computer and don't know how to stop it
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1a
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rant
| 1
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I always had the thought in my mind that I was addicted to being on the internet/computer but everything I do at some point revolves around using it. I study Computerscience so I am bound to look up stuff that I need for programming(I like the problem solving but hate being on the computer). All my information for classes is online. I am learning an instrument and when I need to look something up it is online. I want to cook a new recipe since I really like making meals. Where do I get the recipe? online.
&#x200B;
I feel like I can't escape it and don't like this feeling.
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Plenty_Supermarket
| 1
| 0
| 2
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2020-01-12 17:56:18
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addiction
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<es>I am addicted to being on the computer and don't know how to stop it<ee> <es>I always had the thought in my mind that I was addicted to being on the internet/computer but everything I do at some point revolves around using it.<ee> <es>I study Computerscience so I am bound to look up stuff that I need for programming(I like the problem solving but hate being on the computer).<ee> <es>All my information for classes is online.<ee> <es>I am learning an instrument and when I need to look something up it is online.<ee> <es>I want to cook a new recipe since I really like making meals.<ee> <es>Where do I get the recipe?<ee> <es>online.<ee> &#x200B; <efs>I feel like I can't escape it and don't like this feeling.<efe>
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| 0
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how you feel using computer constantly
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you are too reliant on computer
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title
| true
| 210
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ei8nri
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Imposters syndrome feels like a video game
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0
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rant
| 1
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Like some lifestyle video game where I have to navigate social situations but I’m just going from one conversation to the next, just trying to help my character get through life based on what she seems like she would do in the situation, but then every choice I make has unintended consequences that I only could’ve known by having played it before.
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anon_46
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| 0
| 0
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2019-12-31 20:51:47
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depression
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<es>Imposters syndrome feels like a video game<ee> Like some lifestyle video game where I have to navigate social situations but I’m just going from one conversation to the next, just trying to help my character get through life based on what she seems like she would do in the situation, but then every choice I make has unintended consequences that I only could’ve known by having played it before.
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| 0
| 0
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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your Imposter's syndrome
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How did X make you feel?
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having imposter's syndrome
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you have imposter's syndrome
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| 100
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es8e4l
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I’m free. I got out. I’m myself again.
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0
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chitchat
| 2
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I posted a couple months back about the realization that my husband was emotionally and sexually abusive. Since then I have moved into my own apartment, separated our finances and am filling out divorce paperwork.
I’m very fortunate in that I have a loving supportive family close by. And while they don’t know the full extent to how bad things were they know enough to not question my decision at all.
I’ve been making some changes in my life, being more social, trying to make myself go do the things that I have wanted to but just put off because I didn’t have to motivation.
I’ve started taking pride in my appearance again, not because I feel like I have to for anyone but because I want to for myself.
I go hang out with my little niece and nephew and we have dancing and singing parties before bedtime. The 30 minute drive to them is something I’m happy to do but was always too much of a chore for my ex.
I’m referring to my ex as ‘my ex’. Legally we might still be married but that relationship is over.
I’m planning vacations for myself, visiting friends and family that I haven’t seen or talked to in years because we never made the effort to travel to them.
I’m turning thirty in a couple weeks and am flying to San Francisco to celebrate with some of my closest friends.
And most importantly: I am lying in bed right now and the thought occurred to me. No one is going to lock me in a dog crate, no one is going to humiliate me for their own pleasure tonight.
I got out. I’m free.
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n0longersilent
| 1
| 0
| 3
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2020-01-22 07:01:21
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domesticviolence
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I posted a couple months back about the realization that my husband was emotionally and sexually abusive. Since then I have moved into my own apartment, separated our finances and am filling out divorce paperwork. I’m very fortunate in that I have a loving supportive family close by. And while they don’t know the full extent to how bad things were they know enough to not question my decision at all. I’ve been making some changes in my life, being more social, trying to make myself go do the things that I have wanted to but just put off because I didn’t have to motivation. I’ve started taking pride in my appearance again, not because I feel like I have to for anyone but because I want to for myself. I go hang out with my little niece and nephew and we have dancing and singing parties before bedtime. The 30 minute drive to them is something I’m happy to do but was always too much of a chore for my ex. I’m referring to my ex as ‘my ex’. Legally we might still be married but that relationship is over. I’m planning vacations for myself, visiting friends and family that I haven’t seen or talked to in years because we never made the effort to travel to them. I’m turning thirty in a couple weeks and am flying to San Francisco to celebrate with some of my closest friends. And most importantly: I am lying in bed right now and the thought occurred to me. No one is going to lock me in a dog crate, no one is going to humiliate me for their own pleasure tonight. I got out. I’m free.
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
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random
| true
| 0
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ekzbxt
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Does anyone else get lightheaded and almost confused whenever you get really angry?
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0
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survey
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Now I don’t think I have a anger problem, because I’m rarely angry. But whenever I am angry, I get very angry and start to get really lightheaded and confused. My blood pressure also rises to absolutely insane levels when that pissed.
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dman472
| 1
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| 1
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2020-01-06 19:58:11
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Anger
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<rs>Does anyone else get lightheaded and almost confused whenever you get really angry?<re> <es>Now I don’t think I have a anger problem, because I’m rarely angry.<ee> <efs><es>But whenever I am angry, I get very angry and start to get really lightheaded and confused.<ee><efe> <efs>My blood pressure also rises to absolutely insane levels when that pissed.<efe>
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what makes you angry
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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your confusion after getting angry
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What do you need help with now that X?
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you feel confused whenever you are angry
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title
| true
| 110
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ek6fml
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[long readWent from codeine addiction to heroin use
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0
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chitchat
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In the uk we have a very different codeine culture to what they have in America. It’s not really the lean sipping double cup cliche at extremely insane price that the Americans have.
Over here we just take it as pills. It is usually 8/500 cocodamol pills that you do a CWE on and drink the foul liquid.
Personally I started on a brand named Zapain which was 30/500mg codeine/paracetamol that I got by lying about back pain
My first dose was 10 pills CWEd and it was lovely. Along with taking Valium it was heavenly. For a few months I was taking 10-20 pills at each dose a few times a week but I was getting worried about my liver with all the residual paracetamol so I told my doctor straight “i would like to switch my prescription from the paracetamol codeine mix to a pure codeine because I take more than the recommended dose and he was worried the paracetamol could cause damage. I assured him I wasn’t abusing them just taking an extra 2-3 a day because the pain was so bad.
So there I am set with 100 30mg codeine pills every 12 days (usually ate them by day 2) all absolutely free. I continue this habit and using the “PatientAccess” app on my phone was able to get the drugs with ease. I also found out the pharmacy sold codeine cough syrup which was 100% 600mg codeine for only £3.55 so I started to buy that.
So now I’m taking 3600mg of pure codeine each 12 days until one day I made a promise to an ex. That I would quit codeine and I did for 6 months but idiotically I replaced codeine for Valium and within 5 I was dependent, having extreme withdrawal. Seizures, hallucinations, delusions, vomiting, etc. It was at this point my ex left me. I can’t blame her I was off the rails
So a friend let’s me live with his elderly father in a farm yard cottage after 3 days of the break upI run out of my Valium and no longer have access to anymore. Surprisingly I didn’t experience the hellish withdrawal I was expecting. I also went to the mental health doc and was prescribed quetiapine. I also checked into a weekly rehab course for the Valium and pain killers.
It was doing that that cause my doctor to stop prescribing me Codeine. So I cold Turkied the codeine. It wasn’t nice but compared to the Valium withdrawal it was easy. I manage to get off all opiates for around 6 months and had started a Valium reduction plan.
Things were going well until I finally became truly sober and realised in that 6 months I was so focused on my recovery and not so numb to world that I hadn’t had a chance to process the break up with my ex. We’ve been apart around 5 months and she has moved in with another guy (we were struggling to get our own place to live because I was a lazy ducking junkie, I think she just got with him because it’s a roof over her head for free but I accept my part in the break up too. I had no future
But anyway. Like I was saying. I’d been clean a while until my mental health went down Hill rapidly to the point I tried suicide by cutting my wrists, by overdosing on codeine 1500mg but I just woke up the next day. So I cut my wrists open and that didn’t work. I toyed with the idea of hanging myself but I couldn’t work myself up to it because the weather was so cold outside recently and I wanna die comfortably that’s when I had the idea. ILL OVERDOSE ON HEROIN So I found a homeless asked her to get me 3 0.2 bags of heroin if I bought her £20 of crack. I had 200 Valium and 600mg codeine to go with the heroin and small bottle of rum. I took the 200 valium, popped the codes and drank the rum. At this point I was and drooling mess but I was able to stay awake long enough to smoke 2 of the 3 bags of heroin before i fell unconscious.
I felt pure bliss as I was drifting off hoping the H was laced with fentanyl... that’s when a friend walked in and found me unresponsive with blue lips. I prepared for that possibility and emptied all the naloxone in the house down the drain. Emergency services got there within 5 minuets they revived me 6 times. I was sure I was going to succeed in my attempt.
That was a few weeks ago and I have returned to completing my rehab program on a Valium detox with no need for an opiate substitute. My mental health is getting far better but I am still occasionally taking heroin maybe once a month.
Dunno why I shared that but that’s my story. I’m sure people will tell me to stop while I can and I plan to. I really love my rehab course and it is working but damn. Heroin feels good but I prefer codeine, strange so I don’t think I will replace it like I did with Valium.
I know everyone says that and most fail. I’ll probably fail but I am hoping I can curb this polydrug addiction
TL;DR
Started on codeine Valium. Relationship ended, mental health declined and ended up on heroin trying to commit suicide by overdose. Got hit with naloxone and barely made it back. Im now in recovery taking it seriously.
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heroinoldman
| 2
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| 4
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2020-01-05 02:11:32
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OpiatesRecovery
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<es>In the uk we have a very different codeine culture to what they have in America.<ee <es>It’s not really the lean sipping double cup cliche at extremely insane price that the Americans have. <ee> <es>Over here we just take it as pills.<ee> <es> It is usually 8/500 cocodamol pills that you do a CWE on and drink the foul liquid.<ee> <es>Personally I started on a brand named Zapain which was 30/500mg codeine/paracetamol that I got by lying about back pain <ee> <es>My first dose was 10 pills CWEd and it was lovely.<ee> <es>Along with taking Valium it was heavenly.<ee> <es>For a few months I was taking 10-20 pills at each dose a few times a week but I was getting worried about my liver with all the residual paracetamol so I told my doctor straight “i would like to switch my prescription from the paracetamol codeine mix to a pure codeine because I take more than the recommended dose and he was worried the paracetamol could cause damage.<ee> <es>I assured him I wasn’t abusing them just taking an extra 2-3 a day because the pain was so bad. <ee> <es>So there I am set with 100 30mg codeine pills every 12 days (usually ate them by day 2) all absolutely free.<ee> <es>I continue this habit and using the “PatientAccess” app on my phone was able to get the drugs with ease.<ee> <es>I also found out the pharmacy sold codeine cough syrup which was 100% 600mg codeine for only £3.55 so I started to buy that. <ee> <es>So now I’m taking 3600mg of pure codeine each 12 days until one day I made a promise to an ex.<ee> <es>That I would quit codeine and I did for 6 months but idiotically I replaced codeine for Valium and within 5 I was dependent, having extreme withdrawal.<ee> <efs>Seizures, hallucinations, delusions, vomiting, etc.<efe> <es>It was at this point my ex left me.<ee> <es>I can’t blame her I was off the rails <ee> <es>So a friend let’s me live with his elderly father in a farm yard cottage after 3 days of the break upI run out of my Valium and no longer have access to anymore.<ee> <es>Surprisingly I didn’t experience the hellish withdrawal I was expecting.<ee> <es>I also went to the mental health doc and was prescribed quetiapine.<ee> <es>I also checked into a weekly rehab course for the Valium and pain killers.<ee> <es>It was doing that that cause my doctor to stop prescribing me Codeine.<ee> <es>So I cold Turkied the codeine.<ee> <es>It wasn’t nice but compared to the Valium withdrawal it was easy.<ee> <es>I manage to get off all opiates for around 6 months and had started a Valium reduction plan. <ee> <es>Things were going well until I finally became truly sober and realised in that 6 months I was so focused on my recovery and not so numb to world that I hadn’t had a chance to process the break up with my ex.<ee> <es>We’ve been apart around 5 months and she has moved in with another guy (we were struggling to get our own place to live because I was a lazy ducking junkie, I think she just got with him because it’s a roof over her head for free but I accept my part in the break up too.<ee> <es>I had no future <ee> But anyway. Like I was saying. <es>I’d been clean a while until my mental health went down Hill rapidly to the point I tried suicide by cutting my wrists, by overdosing on codeine 1500mg but I just woke up the next day.<ee> <es>So I cut my wrists open and that didn’t work.<ee> <es>I toyed with the idea of hanging myself but I couldn’t work myself up to it because the weather was so cold outside recently and I wanna die comfortably that’s when I had the idea.<ee> <es>ILL OVERDOSE ON HEROIN<ee> <es>So I found a homeless asked her to get me 3 0.2 bags of heroin if I bought her £20 of crack.<ee> <es>I had 200 Valium and 600mg codeine to go with the heroin and small bottle of rum.<ee> <es>I took the 200 valium, popped the codes and drank the rum.<ee> <es>At this point I was and drooling mess but I was able to stay awake long enough to smoke 2 of the 3 bags of heroin before i fell unconscious.<ee> <efs>I felt pure bliss as I was drifting off hoping the H was laced with fentanyl... that’s when a friend walked in and found me unresponsive with blue lips.<efe> <es>I prepared for that possibility and emptied all the naloxone in the house down the drain.<ee> <es>Emergency services got there within 5 minuets they revived me 6 times.<ee> <es>I was sure I was going to succeed in my attempt.<ee> <es>That was a few weeks ago and I have returned to completing my rehab program on a Valium detox with no need for an opiate substitute.<ee> <es>My mental health is getting far better but I am still occasionally taking heroin maybe once a month. <ee> Dunno why I shared that but that’s my story. I’m sure people will tell me to stop while I can and I plan to. <es>I really love my rehab course and it is working but damn.<ee> <es>Heroin feels good but I prefer codeine, strange so I don’t think I will replace it like I did with Valium. <ee> <es>I know everyone says that and most fail.<ee> <rs>I’ll probably fail but I am hoping I can curb this polydrug addiction <re> TL;DR <es>Started on codeine Valium.<ee> <es>Relationship ended, mental health declined and ended up on heroin trying to commit suicide by overdose.<ee> <es>Got hit with naloxone and barely made it back.<ee> <es>Im now in recovery taking it seriously.<ee>
| 2
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| 0
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
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rehab
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What do you need help with now that X?
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what will help you stop heroin
| null | true
| 200
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ejg8uo
|
I went too deep
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1a
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rant
| 2
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So I've been clean for 3 months today.. and I screwed up and relapsed. I forgot what the feeling really felt like and I got a new blade and I cut like I never have before.. and like the title, I cut too deep and started bleeding everywhere. My dad used to check my arms but it's been like a month and a half so I think he trusts me with it but it just wouldn't stop bleeding. Everyone that has found out has pressured me to stop and hasn't let me go slow so it feels like I'm letting everyone down. My friends literally yell at me and hit me when they find out when I relapse. I'm scared that my dad is going to find the cloth that I used as a bandage and take me back to therapy early. I had an anxiety attack about 5 minutes ago but I just don't want to sound like I am complaining on here but that's really all that I am doing. Also, everyone around me that has depression and is suicidal really has a reason to be. They don't see me as worthy to be depressed because in reality I don't have a reason to be. I just hate myself and feel alone all of the time and they just don't want to understand that I feel hurt to even though I don't have any trauma. Tl;dr life's a bitch
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lunaa_foxx
| 18
| 0
| 8
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2020-01-03 14:40:46
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selfharm
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<es>So I've been clean for 3 months today.. and I screwed up and relapsed.<ee> <es>I forgot what the feeling really felt like and I got a new blade and I cut like I never have before.. and like the title, I cut too deep and started bleeding everywhere.<ee> <es>My dad used to check my arms but it's been like a month and a half so I think he trusts me with it but it just wouldn't stop bleeding.<ee> <efs>Everyone that has found out has pressured me to stop and hasn't let me go slow so it feels like I'm letting everyone down.<efe> <es>My friends literally yell at me and hit me when they find out when I relapse.<ee> <efs>I'm scared that my dad is going to find the cloth that I used as a bandage and take me back to therapy early.<efe> <es>I had an anxiety attack about 5 minutes ago but I just don't want to sound like I am complaining on here but that's really all that I am doing.<ee> <es>Also, everyone around me that has depression and is suicidal really has a reason to be.<ee> <es>They don't see me as worthy to be depressed because in reality I don't have a reason to be.<ee> <efs>I just hate myself and feel alone all of the time and they just don't want to understand that I feel hurt to even though I don't have any trauma.<efe> <efs>Tl;dr life's a bitch<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
everybody ignores your depression
| null | true
| 220
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f8pfa6
|
Real life making me go insane: is it just me?
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1a
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survey
| 1
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Still living an history of family abuse, gaslighting and all sorts of evil from family and strangers outside.
Job hunting so I can save up money and live.
But the point is: I was always a 3rd wheel, I have no skills (except English, I am Italian) because my life was being driven home-school and school-home.
Had to leave uni because of my poor success at exams (caused by abuse, my memory keeps failing me even on small tasks. Wasn't like this when I was younger).
I'm 25 and I realised that I'll never be happy, the only time you could be is when you where still in school, IF your family loved you.
That's because real world can be insane, from the law to jobs to people being evil (not selfish: evil, as in, wanting to hurt you on purpose even when there's nothing to gain, just for the pleasure of doing so).
That's making me more and more suicidal, because I believe I'll never feel safe.
Has anyone else gone insane from real world too?
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95girl
| 1
| 0
| 5
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2020-02-24 10:36:36
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getting_over_it
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<es>Still living an history of family abuse, gaslighting and all sorts of evil from family and strangers outside.<ee> <es>Job hunting so I can save up money and live.<ee> <es>But the point is: I was always a 3rd wheel, I have no skills (except English, I am Italian) because my life was being driven home-school and school-home.<ee> <es>Had to leave uni because of my poor success at exams (caused by abuse, my memory keeps failing me even on small tasks. Wasn't like this when I was younger).<ee> <es>I'm 25 and I realised that I'll never be happy, the only time you could be is when you where still in school, IF your family loved you. <ee> <es>That's because real world can be insane, from the law to jobs to people being evil (not selfish: evil, as in, wanting to hurt you on purpose even when there's nothing to gain, just for the pleasure of doing so).<ee> <efs>That's making me more and more suicidal, because I believe I'll never feel safe.<efe> <rs>Has anyone else gone insane from real world too?<re>
| 2
| 1
| 1
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
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how interacting with people make you feel
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Can you elaborate more on X ?
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what would help you navigate the world better
| null | true
| 211
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ej9fvn
|
Can't watch my partner with his phone. Help!
|
1b
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help-seeking
| 1
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I can't stop imagining he is contacting with someone else. I hate that he picks his phone and browses shit. I can't stand him with that fucking cellphone I want him to give me that time to me. I just can't stand him browsing FB or Insta, I even have this feeling of going through his phone and check what the fuck he browse so much. I hate that.
Any way I can stop this feeling?
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pinkmor
| 1
| 0
| 6
|
2020-01-03 03:26:38
|
BPD
|
<es>I can't stop imagining he is contacting with someone else.<ee> <efs>I hate that he picks his phone and browses shit.<efe> <es>I can't stand him with that fucking cellphone I want him to give me that time to me.<ee> <es>I just can't stand him browsing FB or Insta, I even have this feeling of going through his phone and check what the fuck he browse so much.<ee> <efs>I hate that. <efe> <rs>Any way I can stop this feeling?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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f5zri0
|
I may have possibly went off on a damn kid on Instagram.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
As someone may know, Wendy Williams is having serious backlash for making a “joke” about Drew Carey’s ex-fiancée. I saw on a Page Six article talking about a fan page “taking a break” due to the controversy. The article showed two sides of the argument, and the comment defending Wendy set me off. I created an Instagram account and clicked on the link that directly led to the post itself. That’s where I saw the comment and I went all the way off on her, calling her really bad names. I was going to just dm her but she doesn’t allow that. At first, I didn’t think much of it, because I know of grown women who watch the show. However, after posting my angry comments, I realized that I may have possibly told off a child. I don’t know what kind of parent would allow their child to watch Wendy Williams, but she did look young (there are two people in the picture). Her comment also shows evidence that she’s just a kid. This is a huge problem of mine (it’s really evident with my posts and comments on here). I get triggered and I go off on people, even about the seemingly smallest matters. You can’t always tell someone’s age by looking at their pictures, especially on Instagram, but regardless... I feel bad...
|
ClaytonWasHanged
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-02-18 22:08:00
|
Anger
|
<es>As someone may know, Wendy Williams is having serious backlash for making a “joke” about Drew Carey’s ex-fiancée.<ee> I saw on a Page Six article talking about a fan page “taking a break” due to the controversy. <es>The article showed two sides of the argument, and the comment defending Wendy set me off.<ee> <es>I created an Instagram account and clicked on the link that directly led to the post itself.<ee> <es>That’s where I saw the comment and I went all the way off on her, calling her really bad names.<ee> I was going to just dm her but she doesn’t allow that. At first, I didn’t think much of it, because I know of grown women who watch the show. <es>However, after posting my angry comments, I realized that I may have possibly told off a child.<ee> I don’t know what kind of parent would allow their child to watch Wendy Williams, but she did look young (there are two people in the picture). <es>Her comment also shows evidence that she’s just a kid.<ee> <es>This is a huge problem of mine (it’s really evident with my posts and comments on here).<ee> <es>I get triggered and I go off on people, even about the seemingly smallest matters.<ee> <efs>You can’t always tell someone’s age by looking at their pictures, especially on Instagram, but regardless... I feel bad...<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel bad for telling off a kid
| null | true
| 220
|
eufr2t
|
Kobe Bryant and his legacy as a rapist: Open Discussion
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
I haven't been around for awhile, but I knew I needed to post on today's events. I've heard from and read so many women today who are feeling silenced by the news of Bryant's death with little mention of his history as a rapist.
I wished to open a safe space here for you to share your reactions, thoughts, and feelings about mourning someone who has caused the harm that so many of us deal with every day.
If you are angry, hurt, or having conflicted feelings about his death, let's talk.
|
ChildTherapist
| 1
| 0
| 147
|
2020-01-27 00:20:45
|
rapecounseling
|
I haven't been around for awhile, but I knew I needed to post on today's events. I've heard from and read so many women today who are feeling silenced by the news of Bryant's death with little mention of his history as a rapist. I wished to open a safe space here for you to share your reactions, thoughts, and feelings about mourning someone who has caused the harm that so many of us deal with every day. If you are angry, hurt, or having conflicted feelings about his death, let's talk.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
em0ezj
|
Disturbing Statistics
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
* 58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school.
* 42% of college students never read another book after college.
* 80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year.
* 70% of US adults have not been to a bookstore in the last five years.
* 57% of new books are not read to completion.
* Most readers do not get past page 18 in a book they have purchased.
Butler, David. Speed Reading with the Right Brain: Learn to Read Ideas Instead of Just Words (p. 43). David Butler. Kindle Edition.
|
CrescendoX
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-08 22:53:39
|
selfhelp
|
* 58% of the US adult population never reads another book after high school. * 42% of college students never read another book after college. * 80% of US families did not buy or read a book last year. * 70% of US adults have not been to a bookstore in the last five years. * 57% of new books are not read to completion. * Most readers do not get past page 18 in a book they have purchased. Butler, David. Speed Reading with the Right Brain: Learn to Read Ideas Instead of Just Words (p. 43). David Butler. Kindle Edition.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
emi92h
|
I was called a Wimp because of my PTSD
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I have a hobby of reading manga, webtoons and manhuas. But in one of the chapters in the webtoon I'm reading I saw a child die which triggered my past trauma. In my past trauma, I also saw a child getting killed in real life and it left me a lot of grief, regrets, and disturb me for years so I decided to leave a comment in the webtoon that I'm dropping it and will no longer continue reading. But then some people replied that I'm a wimp, snowflakes and saying that its just nothing for them. Well, I got hurt but made me confused. Children getting killed is nothing for them but why does it disturbed me and haunted me emotionally so much?
|
PinoyPhReader
| 1
| 0
| 11
|
2020-01-09 23:46:10
|
ptsd
|
<es>I have a hobby of reading manga, webtoons and manhuas.<ee> <es>But in one of the chapters in the webtoon I'm reading I saw a child die which triggered my past trauma.<ee> <es>In my past trauma, I also saw a child getting killed in real life.<ee> <efs>it left me a lot of grief, regrets, and disturb me for years so I decided to leave a comment in the webtoon that I'm dropping it and will no longer continue reading.<efe> <es>But then some people replied that I'm a wimp, snowflakes and saying that its just nothing for them.<ee> <efs>Well, I got hurt but made me confused.<efe> <rs>Children getting killed is nothing for them but why does it disturbed me and haunted me emotionally so much?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ejcgq3
|
Any other alcs in Las Vegas ?!?
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
Looking for sober homies in the 702! I need an accountability buddy, meeting buddy or just a buddy 🤪 please PM me!
|
imlyoung614
| 4
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-03 08:07:33
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<rs>Any other alcs in Las Vegas ?!?<re> <rs>Looking for sober homies in the 702!<re> <rs>I need an accountability buddy, meeting buddy or just a buddy please PM me!<re>
| 0
| 0
| 2
|
What happened that you want X ?
|
a sober buddy
|
Why are you wanting X ?
|
a sober and accountable buddy
| null | null | null | true
| 2
|
era5gc
|
truth
|
0
|
chitchat
| 5
| null |
Sauerman
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-20 07:48:35
|
selfhelp
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
eu7l9a
|
How Self-Education Has Changed My Life
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
| null |
VictorStep999
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-26 14:52:37
|
selfhelp
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
ez612y
|
He told me I wasn’t a victim
|
1b
|
rant
| 3
|
I wanted to get this off my chest. I recently left a relationship of a year and a half. His moments of anger started off innocent enough and just seemed the stress of his career was taking a toll on him. They were unpredictable and I could never see them coming.
He is proficient in combat sports and I also had experience as well, so on occasion we’d ‘play fight’ . This started off as being a joking/playful thing and occasionally he’d make comments that he would use this to “teach me a lesson”. Sometimes this would lead to sex so it came across as more of a fetish.
When arguments would occur it would result in him grabbing my wrist so hard that they would bruise and hurt for days. This started happening every time we’d argue. I’d complain or try to break away and he wouldn’t let go and squeeze tighterZ His eyes would look black. When he wasn’t angry he was always remorseful and said he promised not to do it again. He also became more violent when it came to sexual experiences and would often do things without my consent or pressuring me into something. He said he had a rape fantasy and I was being a good girlfriend by appeasing him. When I suggested using a safe word he refused without any explanation. When I questioned him he got angry and said it was because he said so.
I am a educated independent women and never thought I’d end up in a situation like this. I decided to confront him on his behavior, thinking it was just a misunderstanding or him not really understanding how his behavior was effecting me. I calmly tried to sit down and talk to him about how I didn’t like him forcefully pushing me around, grabbing, slapping etc. He raged. I’ve never been so fearful in my life. I couldn’t see anything but black in his eyes. He was inches from my face and I could see his fist balled up and shaking. He kept shouting at me that I am not a victim. That was shocking for me. I never once described myself to him or to anyone else as a victim- I was his girlfriend. I realize you can be both. This became a common occurrence throughout our relationship. I thought that every couple has struggles and that you just had to work through them. He would always be very kind and sweet after and I was naive enough to give him the opportunity to do it again.
I gained enough courage to end the relationship. Now that I’m removed from it, I can truly see how abusive he was to me. One of the many things he said that still haunts me is he told me if we were to ever break up and he saw me with another man, he didn’t think he could handle himself. When I asked him what he meant he said he would lose control and be filled with jealousy and rage. I asked if that would still apply if we amicably split up, or if he broke up with me/cheated. He said it didn’t matter. I would always be his.
It’s been a 5 months. I sleep lighter now. I’ve started dating again, but I’m always looking over my shoulder. I’m worried he might see me out with someone else or catch me in a moment where I’m not paying attention. I’m worried about what he would do.
I realized through this experience how easy it is to fall into this cycle and stay there. I know there are others who have been through much worse for much longer and my heart goes out to you.
|
isthisreallife91
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-02-05 07:49:30
|
domesticviolence
|
I wanted to get this off my chest. <es>I recently left a relationship of a year and a half.<ee> <es>His moments of anger started off innocent enough and just seemed the stress of his career was taking a toll on him.<ee> <es>They were unpredictable and I could never see them coming. <ee> <es>He is proficient in combat sports and I also had experience as well, so on occasion we’d ‘play fight’ .<ee> <es>This started off as being a joking/playful thing and occasionally he’d make comments that he would use this to “teach me a lesson”.<ee> <es>Sometimes this would lead to sex so it came across as more of a fetish. <ee> <es>When arguments would occur it would result in him grabbing my wrist so hard that they would bruise and hurt for days.<ee> <es>This started happening every time we’d argue.<ee> <es>I’d complain or try to break away and he wouldn’t let go and squeeze tighterZ His eyes would look black.<ee> <es>When he wasn’t angry he was always remorseful and said he promised not to do it again.<ee> <es> He also became more violent when it came to sexual experiences and would often do things without my consent or pressuring me into something.<ee> <es> He said he had a rape fantasy and I was being a good girlfriend by appeasing him.<ee> <es>When I suggested using a safe word he refused without any explanation.<ee> <es>When I questioned him he got angry and said it was because he said so.<ee> <es>I am a educated independent women and never thought I’d end up in a situation like this.<ee> <es>I decided to confront him on his behavior, thinking it was just a misunderstanding or him not really understanding how his behavior was effecting me.<ee> <es>I calmly tried to sit down and talk to him about how I didn’t like him forcefully pushing me around, grabbing, slapping etc.<ee> <es>He raged.<ee> <efs>I’ve never been so fearful in my life.<efe> <es>I couldn’t see anything but black in his eyes.<ee> <es>He was inches from my face and I could see his fist balled up and shaking.<ee> <es>He kept shouting at me that I am not a victim.<ee> <efs>That was shocking for me.<efe> <es>I never once described myself to him or to anyone else as a victim- I was his girlfriend.<ee> <es>I realize you can be both.<ee> <es> This became a common occurrence throughout our relationship.<ee> <es>I thought that every couple has struggles and that you just had to work through them.<ee> <es>He would always be very kind and sweet after and I was naive enough to give him the opportunity to do it again. <ee> <es>I gained enough courage to end the relationship.<ee> <es>Now that I’m removed from it, I can truly see how abusive he was to me.<ee> <efs>One of the many things he said that still haunts me is he told me if we were to ever break up and he saw me with another man, he didn’t think he could handle himself.<efe> <es>When I asked him what he meant he said he would lose control and be filled with jealousy and rage.<ee> <es>I asked if that would still apply if we amicably split up, or if he broke up with me/cheated.<ee> <es>He said it didn’t matter.<ee> <es>I would always be his. <ee> <es>It’s been a 5 months.<ee> <efs>I sleep lighter now.<efe> <efs> I’ve started dating again, but I’m always looking over my shoulder.<efe> <efs>I’m worried he might see me out with someone else or catch me in a moment where I’m not paying attention.<efe> <efs>I’m worried about what he would do. <efe> <es>I realized through this experience how easy it is to fall into this cycle and stay there.<ee> I know there are others who have been through much worse for much longer and my heart goes out to you.
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are worried your ex seeing you with someone else
| null | true
| 220
|
elbtco
|
I age out of the possibility of joining the 27 Club in an hour
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I’m turning 28 in under an hour and am dumbfounded that I’ve survived. I was convinced that 27 would be the last year I would live. After years of heavy heroin use and abusing just about every drug under the sun in each and every combination, I’m in recovery, I’m free, and I’m alive. I honestly cannot believe it. 1.5 years ago I was given 6 months to live, was 100lbs at 5’10”, was selling dope to get by, and had spent time on the street. Out of my 5 running mates, 3 died last year. Part of me feels I should have joined them for the pain I caused dealing, but I also know how damn hard I’ve worked to be where I am today. I’m on my way to a corporate job (sellout perhaps), and short of being hit by a bus in the next 30 minutes, I’ve made it. And so can you. I wish anyone struggling the hope to push through and I’m here if you need a chat with someone who has been there. We’ve got this.
|
fix-me-up
| 1
| 0
| 37
|
2020-01-07 13:51:36
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
I’m turning 28 in under an hour and am dumbfounded that I’ve survived. I was convinced that 27 would be the last year I would live. After years of heavy heroin use and abusing just about every drug under the sun in each and every combination, I’m in recovery, I’m free, and I’m alive. I honestly cannot believe it. 1.5 years ago I was given 6 months to live, was 100lbs at 5’10”, was selling dope to get by, and had spent time on the street. Out of my 5 running mates, 3 died last year. Part of me feels I should have joined them for the pain I caused dealing, but I also know how damn hard I’ve worked to be where I am today. I’m on my way to a corporate job (sellout perhaps), and short of being hit by a bus in the next 30 minutes, I’ve made it. And so can you. I wish anyone struggling the hope to push through and I’m here if you need a chat with someone who has been there. We’ve got this.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
epvc5j
|
My therapist talked to me about the future in a way that gave me hope
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0
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survey
| 1
|
During a session last week, my therapist and I were talking about my heros and how I should be one of my own. Not necessarily me now, but maybe future me. (I'm 20F) He asks me, "Anon, what is 35 year old Anon like?" Without hesitation, I tell him that she is a teacher with a cat and an adopted ten year old. He says something about that sounds great, but what is she like? He goes on to say that 50 year old him (he's currently 40) is wise and successful. He has more than one home and a job that really changes lives. "50 year old me is the coolest person ever. I really look up to him, and I am so happy to be working for him"
It really changed my view of me and my future. I know who 35 year old me is, now it's just about working for her until I can get there.
|
inspirational_milk
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-17 04:23:18
|
mentalillness
|
During a session last week, my therapist and I were talking about my heros and how I should be one of my own. Not necessarily me now, but maybe future me. (I'm 20F) He asks me, "Anon, what is 35 year old Anon like?" Without hesitation, I tell him that she is a teacher with a cat and an adopted ten year old. He says something about that sounds great, but what is she like? He goes on to say that 50 year old him (he's currently 40) is wise and successful. He has more than one home and a job that really changes lives. "50 year old me is the coolest person ever. I really look up to him, and I am so happy to be working for him" It really changed my view of me and my future. I know who 35 year old me is, now it's just about working for her until I can get there.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
eptwd2
|
do you ever feel irrational guilt
|
1b
|
survey
| 2
|
for blowing your abuse off.
my partner and I are very hot and cold. and I find myself feeling irrationally guilty for the abuse happening to me. like for example, we were arguing the other day, he insulted my mental health and my looks, and I fired back saying that his d*ck is small and that's why he can't act right. it was unnecessary that I fire back, but I was hurt and angry. he constantly makes me feel ashamed of my body physically, so I did the same. he punched me in the face. definitely not the first time.
but the thing is. I am fully aware that yeah I shouldn't fire back, but that no matter what I said he shouldn't physically touch me. but I ALWAYS after these situations feel guilt as though if I didn't say something he wouldn't do it. even though he would have found a reason to hit me if I was sitting there quietly AGREEING with his statements about me.
I don't know if it's the empathy that I so freely and unfortunately give him. but this is something that I always struggle with. and something that I always think about when I am trying to leave.
|
lydmannn
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-17 02:24:07
|
domesticviolence
|
for blowing your abuse off. <es>my partner and I are very hot and cold.<ee> <efs>and I find myself feeling irrationally guilty for the abuse happening to me.<efe> <es>like for example, we were arguing the other day, he insulted my mental health and my looks, and I fired back saying that his d*ck is small and that's why he can't act right.<ee> <efs>it was unnecessary that I fire back, but I was hurt and angry.<efe> <es>he constantly makes me feel ashamed of my body physically, so I did the same.<ee> <es>he punched me in the face.<ee> <es>definitely not the first time. <ee> <es>but the thing is.<ee> <es>I am fully aware that yeah I shouldn't fire back, but that no matter what I said he shouldn't physically touch me.<ee> <efs>but I ALWAYS after these situations feel guilt as though if I didn't say something he wouldn't do it.<efe> <es>even though he would have found a reason to hit me if I was sitting there quietly AGREEING with his statements about me. <ee> <es>I don't know if it's the empathy that I so freely and unfortunately give him.<ee> <es>but this is something that I always struggle with.<ee> <es>and something that I always think about when I am trying to leave.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your partner is abusing you
| null | true
| 220
|
ekdmj7
|
Weird dreams
|
0
|
rant
| 1
|
Through the night I had a series of dreams where I relapsed in two ways: drinking (obviously) and binge eating. It might be bc I’ve changed my schedule and have been working during my home group, and I’m starting up at school again, but I can feel my addiction creeping up on me. I haven’t relapsed yet, but I’m feeling a sense of dread like I did when I was leaving my outpatient group: the feeling of “when am I going to crack”. I don’t have a meeting I can get to today, but I’m probably going to listen to the AA podcast while I head to the library. I don’t want to tell my mom bc she’s planning a couple of trips and keeps asking if I’ll be okay if she leaves me alone.
|
okberma
| 1
| 0
| 8
|
2020-01-05 14:25:48
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>Through the night I had a series of dreams where I relapsed in two ways: drinking (obviously) and binge eating.<ee> <efs>It might be bc I’ve changed my schedule and have been working during my home group, and I’m starting up at school again, but I can feel my addiction creeping up on me.<efe> <efs>I haven’t relapsed yet, but I’m feeling a sense of dread like I did when I was leaving my outpatient group: the feeling of “when am I going to crack”.<efe> <es>I don’t have a meeting I can get to today, but I’m probably going to listen to the AA podcast while I head to the library.<ee> <es>I don’t want to tell my mom bc she’s planning a couple of trips and keeps asking if I’ll be okay if she leaves me alone.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are feeling you are about to relapse
| null | true
| 220
|
eorrac
|
I relapsed on meth..I have no self control I really can’t stop. I’m gonna end up blowing my head off in time..
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
Can’t stop need to know what I should do right now
|
FRZTBITE
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-14 21:23:45
|
addiction
|
<es>I relapsed on meth..<ee><es>I have no self control I really can’t stop.<ee> I’m gonna end up blowing my head off in time.. <rs>Can’t stop need to know what I should do right now<re>
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what made you take meth
|
How did X make you feel?
|
taking staying clean
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you stay clean
|
title
| true
| 101
|
eibvdq
|
2 months down the drain
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I fucked up. Im really sorry.
|
mr_eeeer
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-01 01:11:00
|
selfharm
|
<es>2 months down the drain<ee> <es>I fucked up.<ee> Im really sorry.
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why 2 months are down the drain
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the relapse
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you relapsed again after 2 months
| null | true
| 100
|
el0axa
|
rick and morty
|
0
|
rant
| 3
| null |
__pinkguy__
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-06 21:05:01
|
sad
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
ekjhjy
|
I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I just so desperately don’t want to actually do it.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Some issues have arisen that I just can’t look past. I need to do this I’m just so scared. We’ve been together 2 years and live together. This will easily be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Figuring out what to do with the apartment after all this will be a bitch because our lease ends in September. Idk when to even have this conversation. I’m so scared. Any words of comfort or advice?
|
CovertButtTouch
| 1
| 0
| 15
|
2020-01-05 21:43:11
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>Some issues have arisen that I just can’t look past.<ee> <efs>I need to do this I’m just so scared.<efe> <es>We’ve been together 2 years and live together.<ee> <es>This will easily be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.<ee> <es>Figuring out what to do with the apartment after all this will be a bitch because our lease ends in September.<ee> Idk when to even have this conversation. <efs>I’m so scared.<efe> <rs>Any words of comfort or advice?<re>
| 1
| 1
| 1
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
the issues that have arisen
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about your boyfriend
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what help you calm down
| null | true
| 111
|
epvl04
|
Do you ever feel like your body remembers stuff that your brain doesn’t?
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0
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survey
| 1
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Or am I just crazy
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randomgirl6800
| 1
| 0
| 10
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2020-01-17 04:45:32
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rapecounseling
|
<efs>Do you ever feel like your body remembers stuff that your brain doesn’t?<efe> <efs>Or am I just crazy<efe>
| 0
| 2
| 0
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What made you feel X ?
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your body is remembering stuff which your brain doesn't
| null | null |
What can help you overcome X ?
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the feeling of body remembering things not your brain
| null | true
| 20
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eiw4b9
|
Am I a bad person for forgetting things all the time?
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1a
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survey
| 2
|
It's a source of annoyance for many people, but my mom has come to the point that she gets really irritated and sometimes even angry, because she has to explain or tell me something she apparently already did 20 times before. (My dad might have ADD too, he forgets like me, causing my mom the be even more angry because she needs to explain it to my dad too). If I try to explain that I dont mean to and it's not my fault she just shrugs it off and ignores it, sometimes angrily telling me to 'try harder'. I'm currently unmedicated, have been diagnosed a year ago with ADD, but been working towards getting medicated.
Like, I already feel terrible for forgetting things, sometimes even _really_ important things. I have my ways of making sure I dont forget, like covering the house with notes regarding the thing I have to remember, or putting alarms on my phone. But you know how it is, I even sometimes read the note and moved on- forgetting it still. Makes me feel like shit, the only thing I do all day is TRY.
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Normie-Girl
| 1
| 0
| 4
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2020-01-02 09:26:59
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ADHD
|
<es>Am I a bad person for forgetting things all the time?<ee> <es>It's a source of annoyance for many people, but my mom has come to the point that she gets really irritated and sometimes even angry, because she has to explain or tell me something she apparently already did 20 times before.<ee> <es>(My dad might have ADD too, he forgets like me, causing my mom the be even more angry because she needs to explain it to my dad too).<ee> <es>If I try to explain that I dont mean to and it's not my fault she just shrugs it off and ignores it, sometimes angrily telling me to 'try harder'.<ee> <es>I'm currently unmedicated, have been diagnosed a year ago with ADD, but been working towards getting medicated.<ee> <efs>Like, I already feel terrible for forgetting things, sometimes even _really_ important things.<efe> <es>I have my ways of making sure I dont forget, like covering the house with notes regarding the thing I have to remember, or putting alarms on my phone.<ee> <es>But you know how it is, I even sometimes read the note and moved on- forgetting it still.<ee> <efs>Makes me feel like shit, the only thing I do all day is TRY.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 220
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ei9xj0
|
I hate holidays
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1b
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rant
| 1
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Each time a holiday is near and everyone seems to be over zealous, I just feel really annoyed and depressed by that thought, it reminds me of how alone I am.
I moved to a new country this year in effort to get a new life, but the only thing I have achieved now is more loneliness.
The long nights in my small room seems to never end, and I can't see anything bright at the end of this tunnel.
I am depressed, alone, and filled with self loathing and hate. I don't have enough money to go to a therapist or something like that, I am just hoping that this phase will be over.
Or maybe I will end everything before that.
Who knows..
|
KaiBuTsu91493
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2019-12-31 22:34:04
|
depression
|
<efs>Each time a holiday is near and everyone seems to be over zealous, I just feel really annoyed and depressed by that thought, it reminds me of how alone I am.<efe> <es>I moved to a new country this year in effort to get a new life, but the only thing I have achieved now is more loneliness.<ee> <es>The long nights in my small room seems to never end, and I can't see anything bright at the end of this tunnel.<ee> <es>I am depressed, alone, and filled with self loathing and hate.<ee> <es><rs>I don't have enough money to go to a therapist or something like that, I am just hoping that this phase will be over.<re><ee> Or maybe I will end everything before that. Who knows..
| 1
| 2
| 1
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your depression
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you overcome depression
|
suicidal
| true
| 121
|
et1dix
|
I hurt myself today because of my anger.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I was really upset by something my S/O said about how i should find more friends. I couldn’t get a hold on all the ways i was feeling and after we parted ways to go to class i was so angry i was gripping the steering wheel and later just my fist that i hurt my arm from the tension.
I’m going to therapy and i only recently ( a few months) started to allow myself to feel angry about things and now it gets so strong when i least expect it. I plan on bring up what my SO said and how it made me feel in therapy next session but that wont be for another week.
I feel like i’ve hit a new level physically hurting myself by accident when i’m angry.
|
ThePinkPegasus
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-23 23:19:10
|
Anger
|
<es>I was really upset by something my S/O said about how i should find more friends.<ee> <efs>I couldn’t get a hold on all the ways i was feeling and after we parted ways to go to class i was so angry i was gripping the steering wheel and later just my fist that i hurt my arm from the tension. <efe> <es>I’m going to therapy and i only recently ( a few months) started to allow myself to feel angry about things and now it gets so strong when i least expect it.<ee> I plan on bring up what my SO said and how it made me feel in therapy next session but that wont be for another week. <efs>I feel like i’ve hit a new level physically hurting myself by accident when i’m angry.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you were upset by the SO's words
| null | true
| 220
|
emxt2g
|
Recovery in London?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Hey guys, I'm a heroin addict, been using 5 years on and off and most recently was on Suboxone for a while which I'm off. In the meantime, I've moved from the USA to the UK, specifically London. Been feeling myself kind of...fall off? Being picking up some dope every so often, although I'm.not currently dependent. Was curious about the programs out here? I used to go to n/a, thinking about finding a group out here but curious if anyone knew of anything? I'm not sure if there are different king of UK groups or whatever and wondering if anyone in the UK had any insight. Just kind of a general question about programs in the UK/london, would appreciate any help cheers.
|
Cestpasproblem
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-10 21:50:05
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>Hey guys, I'm a heroin addict, been using 5 years on and off and most recently was on Suboxone for a while which I'm off.<ee> <es>In the meantime, I've moved from the USA to the UK, specifically London.<ee> <efs>Been feeling myself kind of...fall off?<efe> <es>Being picking up some dope every so often, although I'm.not currently dependent.<ee> <rs>Was curious about the programs out here?<re> <rs>I used to go to n/a, thinking about finding a group out here but curious if anyone knew of anything?<re> <rs>I'm not sure if there are different king of UK groups or whatever and wondering if anyone in the UK had any insight.<re> <rs>Just kind of a general question about programs in the UK/london, would appreciate any help cheers.<re>
| 2
| 1
| 2
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how being off suboxone made you feel
| null | null | null | true
| 212
|
enqkxr
|
2 days sober, seeking sober activities...
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
It's been very difficult to get outta bed honestly. I'm a line cook so basically all of my friends are alcoholics (that's service industry for you!) I also just got out of detox so I'm still feeling very anxious. SO far I've just been cleaning my apartment and reading some books. Anything helps, comrades
|
skramz101
| 1
| 0
| 15
|
2020-01-12 17:45:51
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>2 days sober.<ee> <rs>seeking sober activities...<re> <es>It's been very difficult to get outta bed honestly.<ee> <es>I'm a line cook so basically all of my friends are alcoholics (that's service industry for you!).<ee> <efs>I also just got out of detox so I'm still feeling very anxious.<efe> <es>SO far I've just been cleaning my apartment and reading some books.<ee> <rs>Anything helps, comrades<re>
| 2
| 1
| 2
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how the detox made you feel
| null | null | null | true
| 212
|
et2852
|
How to stop seeking validation from one specific person?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Hi all. Hope your Thursday is going alright.
As the title suggests, I'm looking for some advice on how to stop seeking validation from someone. I don't want to get into specifics, but I've been having this issue for quite some time now. I've realized most of my phone-checking and social media browsing is to just see if they've responded/read the things I've sent them. We're very close friends! But when I don't get a response or feel acknowledged, I feel like I've done something wrong (which I know is totally not true), so I get anxiety headaches.
How do I get over this obstacle that I'm clearly creating for myself?
|
nocturnalnostalgia
| 1
| 0
| 15
|
2020-01-24 00:22:27
|
selfhelp
|
Hi all. Hope your Thursday is going alright. <rs>As the title suggests, I'm looking for some advice on how to stop seeking validation from someone.<re> <es>I don't want to get into specifics, but I've been having this issue for quite some time now.<ee> <es>I've realized most of my phone-checking and social media browsing is to just see if they've responded/read the things I've sent them.<ee> <es>We're very close friends!<ee> <efs>But when I don't get a response or feel acknowledged, I feel like I've done something wrong (which I know is totally not true), so I get anxiety headaches.<efe> <rs>How do I get over this obstacle that I'm clearly creating for myself?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ep5jpv
|
GF (F22) physically abusive to me (M23)
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3
|
We’ve been together close to 2 years it’s been a lot of ups and down and we broke up for a while last year cause it got Super toxic, we go back together a couple weeks later after both of us were dating other people but decided we still wanted to be together. Before the break up there were times where she was physically abusive, one notable time was throwing a cone of ice cream on me in public cause I acted like I wiped my nose on her jumper cause she always wipes her hands on mine, which I don’t really care. I didn’t really think it was a big problem.
Fast forward to now where I’ve moved to a new city to continue my degree and she’s been studying here since last year. I stayed with her for two weeks as my apartment wasn’t ready to for me to move it yet. Pretty much Everyday she would have mood swings and if I did something like closing the blinds as I prefer dark over light she would start punching my chest or arms or trying to slap me. I would never retaliate and would just laugh it off and leave her alone.
While staying with her I started to realise there is no way her and I have a future together as I definitely can’t stay with someone like her. She suffers from depression and likes to keep things to herself, as someone who suffers from depression for the past two years I’ve since started treatment for it and have never felt better mentally, I keep urging her to seek help but she’ll always brush it off. I always feel her negativity would bring me down mentally which I feel guilty as she’s been there when I was fighting my demons (even though a lot of it was caused by her)
A couple days ago I went over to her place and she kept on saying don’t go into her room and mess it up. For some context the first time I came to visit her I didn’t really help her clean up her place which is on me, since then I’ve been helping out with the house chores. I’m also a pretty goofy guy and I like to poke fun at people and have a laugh. So I went to lie on her bed and she just exploded. Started screaming which she normally did if I pissed her off, she then started to constantly hit me. I almost fought back but controlled myself, I got my stuff and left.
The next day she was trying to contact me and I told her off and said I’m fed up of the abuse as I always told her her physically abusing is a problem she’ll always be sorry about it but it’ll happen again. She said I didn’t do anything that night but because I have a track record of messing her place up she got angry??? When I was staying with her she would get pissed off at me over the smallest things, on New Years we went to a club which she got denied entry and started crying, went home started to fight me. She has a history of randomly crying while drinking at the club.
Anyways I told her to stay away from me, she came down my apartment last night to pass my stuff, I just took it and said bye. I needed some info about something as I’m new to this city so I asked her which she said she’ll help me for now but that me and her should stop talking after and I said ok.
What should I do now, I’ve been wanting to leave her as I don’t feel that same spark with her like I did at the start and our relationship has gotten pretty stale. But the only thing keeping me still with her is she’s the only person I know in the city and I’ve haven’t properly settled in yet, haven’t started Uni yet where I could meet and befriend plenty of people. Another thing is she’s great at portraying herself as an angel to the public but she has a whole different side to her when she’s with me. She’s actually a nice girl and has done a lot for me, but there’s so many ups and downs and I also want to keep my mental health in a good space, as I hit a Low in my mental health right before our breakup. Any advice is greatly appreciated and sorry for the Long text.
|
canyoudigthat
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-15 17:46:58
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>We’ve been together close to 2 years it’s been a lot of ups and down and we broke up for a while last year cause it got Super toxic, we go back together a couple weeks later after both of us were dating other people but decided we still wanted to be together.<ee> <es>Before the break up there were times where she was physically abusive, one notable time was throwing a cone of ice cream on me in public cause I acted like I wiped my nose on her jumper cause she always wipes her hands on mine, which I don’t really care.<ee> <es>I didn’t really think it was a big problem.<ee> <es>Fast forward to now where I’ve moved to a new city to continue my degree and she’s been studying here since last year.<ee> <es>I stayed with her for two weeks as my apartment wasn’t ready to for me to move it yet.<ee> <es>Pretty much Everyday she would have mood swings and if I did something like closing the blinds as I prefer dark over light she would start punching my chest or arms or trying to slap me.<ee> <es>I would never retaliate and would just laugh it off and leave her alone. <ee> <es>While staying with her I started to realise there is no way her and I have a future together as I definitely can’t stay with someone like her.<ee> <es>She suffers from depression and likes to keep things to herself, as someone who suffers from depression for the past two years I’ve since started treatment for it and have never felt better mentally, I keep urging her to seek help but she’ll always brush it off.<ee> <efs>I always feel her negativity would bring me down mentally which I feel guilty as she’s been there when I was fighting my demons (even though a lot of it was caused by her)<efe> <es>A couple days ago I went over to her place and she kept on saying don’t go into her room and mess it up.<ee> <es>For some context the first time I came to visit her I didn’t really help her clean up her place which is on me, since then I’ve been helping out with the house chores.<ee> <es>I’m also a pretty goofy guy and I like to poke fun at people and have a laugh.<ee> <es>So I went to lie on her bed and she just exploded.<ee> <es>Started screaming which she normally did if I pissed her off, she then started to constantly hit me.<ee> <es>I almost fought back but controlled myself, I got my stuff and left. <ee> <es>The next day she was trying to contact me and I told her off and said I’m fed up of the abuse as I always told her her physically abusing is a problem she’ll always be sorry about it but it’ll happen again.<ee> <es>She said I didn’t do anything that night but because I have a track record of messing her place up she got angry???<ee> <es>When I was staying with her she would get pissed off at me over the smallest things, on New Years we went to a club which she got denied entry and started crying, went home started to fight me.<ee> <es>She has a history of randomly crying while drinking at the club.<ee> <es>Anyways I told her to stay away from me, she came down my apartment last night to pass my stuff, I just took it and said bye.<ee> <es>I needed some info about something as I’m new to this city so I asked her which she said she’ll help me for now but that me and her should stop talking after and I said ok. <ee> <rs>What should I do now, I’ve been wanting to leave her as I don’t feel that same spark with her like I did at the start and our relationship has gotten pretty stale.<re> <es>But the only thing keeping me still with her is she’s the only person I know in the city and I’ve haven’t properly settled in yet, haven’t started Uni yet where I could meet and befriend plenty of people.<ee> <es>Another thing is she’s great at portraying herself as an angel to the public but she has a whole different side to her when she’s with me.<ee> <es>She’s actually a nice girl and has done a lot for me, but there’s so many ups and downs and I also want to keep my mental health in a good space, as I hit a Low in my mental health right before our breakup.<ee> <rs>Any advice is greatly appreciated and sorry for the Long text.<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
elzny5
|
NEVER GIVE UP
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Hi.
I've been on methadone treatment almost 3 months.But so sad I wasn't strong enough and suddenly I am relapsed again.. Should I go back to the methadone treatment again or find others options to get away from addiction ?
Hope someone can give me any advice
Thanks
|
waheerose75
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-08 21:59:23
|
addiction
|
Hi. <es>I've been on methadone treatment almost 3 months.<ee><efs><es>But so sad I wasn't strong enough and suddenly I am relapsed again..<ee><efe> <rs>Should I go back to the methadone treatment again or find others options to get away from addiction ? <re> Hope someone can give me any advice Thanks
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your methadone treatment
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the relapse
| null | null | null | true
| 102
|
ei9ga7
|
Depressed, need someone to talk to? Join our server.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
Hi Guys,
I thought I'd make a post in here for all of you. I've been depressed before, and I understand it's difficult to move forward. It's an endless cycle difficult to escape. After you get diagnosed, you are taking anti-depressants which may not be that optimal, although it may be needed. Sometimes we just need people to talk to. That's why I'm offering you guys to join this growing server. We are here to listen, and be a friend.
&#x200B;
Hope to see you guys there!
|
benzylking3
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2019-12-31 21:55:21
|
depression
|
Hi Guys, I thought I'd make a post in here for all of you. I've been depressed before, and I understand it's difficult to move forward. It's an endless cycle difficult to escape. After you get diagnosed, you are taking anti-depressants which may not be that optimal, although it may be needed. Sometimes we just need people to talk to. That's why I'm offering you guys to join this growing server. We are here to listen, and be a friend. &#x200B; Hope to see you guys there!
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
eiog59
|
Replaying the consequences of drunk decisions & now I’m so nauseous and anxious I can’t eat or face my friends/family
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
It was NYE and the plan was to get drunk, but I suppose I went overboard. I drunkenly texted and snapchatted my parents nonsense, which embarrasses me to no end. & my ex was trying to stir up drama with me, making me immediately upset at the end of the night cause he can’t let me catch a break. What I’ve been thinking about most of all though is the end of the night. Everyone’s phones were low on battery or dead so I thought no one could call an uber. One of my friends suggested that I walk to my apt (45min walk) and charge a phone so they could all get home. Stupid drunk me thought this was the only option so I did so. Apparently she didn’t tell the rest of the group though. My phone died when I started walking and I got really scared. I tried walking back to my friends cause I also realized that my keys were in my friends bag. They were gone so I hauled it to my apt only to have to ask a stranger for a phone call. I called my brother and he seemed really pissed that I “just ran away” and they had been searching for me for almost 2 hours and forgot where I lived. When he arrived, he gave me my stuff but was extremely upset that I put everyone through that.
I have not stopped thinking about this and the fact that I ruined everyone’s night cause I accidentally made them worry sick. I was sober for months and decided to drink with my friends for this night, and this is what I fucking do. I’m going to cut back on drinking again cause I feel awful and feel that I just ruined what was supposed to be a good start to the new year.
What can I do to stop overthinking this??? I’m seeing my therapist on Saturday, but it’s been eating me alive all day. I feel like they’ll hate me or be disappointed in me if I see them all again.
|
SomePumpkin
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-01 21:56:14
|
Anxiety
|
<es>It was NYE and the plan was to get drunk, but I suppose I went overboard.<ee> <es>I drunkenly texted and snapchatted my parents nonsense, which embarrasses me to no end.<ee> & <es>my ex was trying to stir up drama with me, making me immediately upset at the end of the night cause he can’t let me catch a break.<ee> <es>What I’ve been thinking about most of all though is the end of the night.<ee> <es>Everyone’s phones were low on battery or dead so I thought no one could call an uber.<ee> <es>One of my friends suggested that I walk to my apt (45min walk) and charge a phone so they could all get home.<ee> <es>Stupid drunk me thought this was the only option so I did so.<ee> <es>Apparently she didn’t tell the rest of the group though.<ee> <efs>My phone died when I started walking and I got really scared.<efe> <es>I tried walking back to my friends cause I also realized that my keys were in my friends bag.<ee> <es>They were gone so I hauled it to my apt only to have to ask a stranger for a phone call.<ee> <es>I called my brother and he seemed really pissed that I “just ran away” and they had been searching for me for almost 2 hours and forgot where I lived.<ee> <es>When he arrived, he gave me my stuff but was extremely upset that I put everyone through that. <ee> <es>I have not stopped thinking about this and the fact that I ruined everyone’s night cause I accidentally made them worry sick.<ee> <es>I was sober for months and decided to drink with my friends for this night, and this is what I fucking do.<ee> <efs>I’m going to cut back on drinking again cause I feel awful and feel that I just ruined what was supposed to be a good start to the new year. <efe> <rs>What can I do to stop overthinking this???<re> <es>I’m seeing my therapist on Saturday, but it’s been eating me alive all day.<ee> <efs>I feel like they’ll hate me or be disappointed in me if I see them all again.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ej07cs
|
If you like to read, ise kindle.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
If you like to read. But often find yourself trying to read more than one line at once.
I suggest using the kindle app to read e-books. Intead of flipping page by page
THey have a continuous scrolling option. You just scroll up to continue reading. This has been a game-changer for me, because I can go up one sentence at a time. I've read two books this week already. Albeit short ones.
|
Isuckatthisparenting
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-02 16:16:18
|
ADHD
|
If you like to read. But often find yourself trying to read more than one line at once. I suggest using the kindle app to read e-books. Intead of flipping page by page THey have a continuous scrolling option. You just scroll up to continue reading. This has been a game-changer for me, because I can go up one sentence at a time. I've read two books this week already. Albeit short ones.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
exyp2m
|
How to get pass through it
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I need advice. I was raped when I was 7 and it lasted till I was around 10 or 11 by a family member. Then a couple of my parent’s friends (male) would sit next to me and caress my leg slowly moving up. I never told my parents because of fear that it would divide my family. I would always tell myself that everything was just a horrible nightmare and that it didn’t happen, but I think of that day almost every time. Then, one day in college, I was groped by a guy in front of people. I hated it. I felt useless. I felt like that time I was raped. Helpless. I see him around the school some days and he walks around with a smug face. Now, I have a boyfriend and every time we try to have sex or when he tries to touch me down there, I get reminded of the time I was groped. I don’t want him thinking it’s because I don’t want him to because I do. It’s become an instinct for me to move his hand away when he tries touching me. Is there anything I can do to not think about my past?
|
Jxlx_7
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-02-03 01:01:35
|
rapecounseling
|
<rs>I need advice.<re> <es>I was raped when I was 7 and it lasted till I was around 10 or 11 by a family member.<ee> <es>Then a couple of my parent’s friends (male) would sit next to me and caress my leg slowly moving up.<ee> <es>I never told my parents because of fear that it would divide my family.<ee> <es>I would always tell myself that everything was just a horrible nightmare and that it didn’t happen, but I think of that day almost every time.<ee> <es>Then, one day in college, I was groped by a guy in front of people.<ee> <efs>I hated it.<efe> <efs>I felt useless.<efe> <efs>I felt like that time I was raped.<efe> <efs>Helpless.<efe> <es>I see him around the school some days and he walks around with a smug face.<ee> <es>Now, I have a boyfriend and every time we try to have sex or when he tries to touch me down there, I get reminded of the time I was groped.<ee> <es>I don’t want him thinking it’s because I don’t want him to because I do.<ee> <es>It’s become an instinct for me to move his hand away when he tries touching me.<ee> <rs>Is there anything I can do to not think about my past?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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eweaur
|
I’m afraid I’m going to ruin my relationship with the man I love. Maybe I already have...
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
I’m 20(F) and I struggle with some really messed up anger issues. I’m not sure if maybe it’s a mental health issue or not, so if I’m in the wrong kind of sub, tell me, but I think it stems from sexual abuse from a man when I was just a little girl. My mother was also someone who yelled a lot.
Whenever I get mad, even if it’s something small and I’m stressed on top of it, it’s like a switch flips in my brain and it’s usually directed toward one specific person and unfortunately that person is all too often my boyfriend of 3 years and best friend of many more than that.
The switch flips, and he becomes something in my brain that I can tell you with 100% certainty he is not. He becomes an abusive, manipulative evil person in my brain and it feels absolutely validated and real. It goes as far as my brain telling me all these things he’s doing wrong, all these things he’s doing to manipulate me in arguments, etc and I completely go insane. It feels like it just comes out of nowhere and when I get mad enough I start saying and doing things I can’t even remember.. it’s like I black out but my mouth doesn’t stop spitting out absolutely terrible things at him.
This last time, I ended up just walking off outside barefoot in the freezing cold for a few blocks and sat on a sidewalk until I was calm and realized I just really messed up. I make my boyfriend feel awful and I don’t know how I can stand myself anymore. I hate myself for it and I’m sure even though he says he doesn’t hate me he probably does... What can I do to stop reaching that point? How can I stop ruining the best thing I have in my life?
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madicc99
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-30 23:11:41
|
Anger
|
<es>I’m 20(F) and I struggle with some really messed up anger issues.<ee> <es>I’m not sure if maybe it’s a mental health issue or not, so if I’m in the wrong kind of sub, tell me, but I think it stems from sexual abuse from a man when I was just a little girl.<ee> <es>My mother was also someone who yelled a lot.<ee> <es>Whenever I get mad, even if it’s something small and I’m stressed on top of it, it’s like a switch flips in my brain and it’s usually directed toward one specific person and unfortunately that person is all too often my boyfriend of 3 years and best friend of many more than that. <ee> <es>The switch flips, and he becomes something in my brain that I can tell you with 100% certainty he is not.<ee> <efs>He becomes an abusive, manipulative evil person in my brain and it feels absolutely validated and real.<efe> <es>It goes as far as my brain telling me all these things he’s doing wrong, all these things he’s doing to manipulate me in arguments, etc and I completely go insane.<ee> <efs>It feels like it just comes out of nowhere and when I get mad enough I start saying and doing things I can’t even remember..<efe> <es>it’s like I black out but my mouth doesn’t stop spitting out absolutely terrible things at him.<ee> <es>This last time, I ended up just walking off outside barefoot in the freezing cold for a few blocks and sat on a sidewalk until I was calm and realized I just really messed up.<ee> <es>I make my boyfriend feel awful and I don’t know how I can stand myself anymore.<ee> <efs>I hate myself for it and I’m sure even though he says he doesn’t hate me he probably does...<efe> <rs>What can I do to stop reaching that point?<re> <rs>How can I stop ruining the best thing I have in my life?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
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Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
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ei78kb
|
what is wrong with me
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
i hate everything about myself from my physical body to my personality and how my mentality is.. i ruin everything is all i can say i really do. i hate everything i do and i hate that i do it. sometimes when i’m angry i can’t control shit i do and i feel like complete utter shit afterwards. my moods switches in a heartbeat hints to why i feel like i could possibly be bipolar.. i hate arguing with my partner i constantly make things worse without meaning to.. i feel like everyone hates me.. i feel so trapped and i feel like i’m suffocating in my own skin..
|
acapcarlo
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2019-12-31 19:05:09
|
depression
|
<es>i hate everything about myself from my physical body to my personality and how my mentality is.. i ruin everything is all i can say i really do.<ee> <es>i hate everything i do and i hate that i do it.<ee> <efs>sometimes when i’m angry i can’t control shit i do and i feel like complete utter shit afterwards.<efe> <efs>my moods switches in a heartbeat hints to why i feel like i could possibly be bipolar..<efe> <efs>i hate arguing with my partner i constantly make things worse without meaning to..<efe> <efs>i feel like everyone hates me..<efe> <efs>i feel so trapped and i feel like i’m suffocating in my own skin..<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel so suffocated and have mood swings
| null | true
| 220
|
eje9cq
|
The suicide of my bestfriend.
|
1b
|
rant
| 2
|
Growing up I had a bestfriend. And we grew up like brothers, for a while I even believed he WAS my brother.
But unfortunately life got too much for him. He and I were 13 and 12 (respectively) at the time of his death. He, a fee of our friends and I made a team. And were we lived hosted these little tenements. We would compete against other teams on subjects like, physical agility and mental strength. I was the team captain for two years and I pushed them to become the best. And we did. But I eventually had to step down do to it being too stressful for me. My bestfriend took the position instantly. He was the captain for a little less then a year and one day suddenly call me and told me to come over to his house.
That's when it all happened. He told me that he couldnt handle it anymore. I was mad about something and began to storm put of the room when I hear a deafening bang and a thunderous flash. When I turn around my bestfriend, my brothers head was wide open.
He had stolen his dads handguns from his closet and decided to eat a bullet. I didnt know what to do. So I ran home as fast as I could, washed off the blood from my back and my clothes.
But I never told anyone about him. About how I knew that he had killed himself. Not even my parents.
And how it's been 5 years, and I am 17 and I still dream about him. I still see him doing it over and over again every time I try to sleep.
This is the first time I've told anyone. AnyTHING for that matter.
|
Good_Satan
| 40
| 0
| 14
|
2020-01-03 11:35:32
|
ptsd
|
<es>Growing up I had a bestfriend.<ee> <es>And we grew up like brothers, for a while I even believed he WAS my brother. <ee> <es>But unfortunately life got too much for him.<ee> <es>He and I were 13 and 12 (respectively) at the time of his death.<ee> <es>He, a fee of our friends and I made a team.<ee> <es>And were we lived hosted these little tenements.<ee> <es>We would compete against other teams on subjects like, physical agility and mental strength.<ee> <es>I was the team captain for two years and I pushed them to become the best.<ee> <es>And we did.<ee> <es>But I eventually had to step down do to it being too stressful for me.<ee> <es>My bestfriend took the position instantly.<ee> <es>He was the captain for a little less then a year and one day suddenly call me and told me to come over to his house.<ee> <es>That's when it all happened.<ee> <es>He told me that he couldnt handle it anymore.<ee> <es>I was mad about something and began to storm put of the room when I hear a deafening bang and a thunderous flash.<ee> <es>When I turn around my bestfriend, my brothers head was wide open.<ee> <es>He had stolen his dads handguns from his closet and decided to eat a bullet.<ee> <es>I didnt know what to do.<ee> <es>So I ran home as fast as I could, washed off the blood from my back and my clothes. <ee> <es>But I never told anyone about him.<ee> <es>About how I knew that he had killed himself.<ee> <es>Not even my parents. <ee> <efs>And how it's been 5 years, and I am 17 and I still dream about him.<efe> <efs>I still see him doing it over and over again every time I try to sleep.<efe> This is the first time I've told anyone. AnyTHING for that matter.
| 2
| 1
| 0
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about the incident
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are having dreams about that incident
| null | true
| 210
|
ekffu7
|
[Video] Motivational words for you.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
| null |
submitsky
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-05 16:48:53
|
selfhelp
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
eiqtpm
|
Any advice or strategies for dealing with panic attacks?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I’ve been struggling with moderate anxiety since I was a teenager, but since starting college this past year my anxiety is at an all time high. I’ve started to experience crippling panic attacks on the regular. It’s to the point that I have anxiety about the next time I will have a panic attack. It a vicious cycle that I have a very hard time breaking away from. I know exercise and sleep helps me. But I would be willing to try literally anything else that may help me from the panic attacks - or something to help me reel it back when I feel one beginning.
Plz send suggestions for this anxious college student!
|
crystalsnoils
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-02 01:04:44
|
Anxiety
|
<es>I’ve been struggling with moderate anxiety since I was a teenager, but since starting college this past year my anxiety is at an all time high.<ee> <es>I’ve started to experience crippling panic attacks on the regular.<ee> <es>It’s to the point that I have anxiety about the next time I will have a panic attack.<ee> <es>It a vicious cycle that I have a very hard time breaking away from.<ee> <rs>I know exercise and sleep helps me.<re> <rs>But I would be willing to try literally anything else that may help me from the panic attacks - or something to help me reel it back when I feel one beginning. <re> Plz send suggestions for this anxious college student!
| 2
| 0
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the panic attacks
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
ej8for
|
"Let's go around in a circle and introduce ourselves"
|
0
|
rant
| 1
|
Whenever I hear these words my heart rate immediately shoots up, I start sweating, and hyperventilating. Wtf am I supposed to do so this doesn't happen to me?
|
successfulfailure-
| 19
| 0
| 20
|
2020-01-03 02:08:11
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>"Let's go around in a circle and introduce ourselves"<ee> <efs>Whenever I hear these words my heart rate immediately shoots up, I start sweating, and hyperventilating.<efe> <rs>Wtf am I supposed to do so this doesn't happen to me?<re>
| 0
| 2
| 2
|
What made you feel X ?
|
anxious when asked for introduction
| null | null | null | null |
title
| true
| 22
|
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