sub_id
string | title
string | Criticism
string | Intent
string | Readability
int64 | body
string | author
string | score
int64 | awards
int64 | numComms
int64 | created
string | subreddit
string | annotated_post_body
string | ES
int64 | EFS
int64 | RS
int64 | EMaskingQ
string | EMask
string | EFSMaskingQ
string | EFSMask
string | RMaskingQ
string | RMask
string | Comments
string | Annotated
bool | label_combination
int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
en23wr
|
How do I get a constant memory to stop?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
I posted this on a sexual abuse subreddit earlier but thought it might fit in or be answered better here. Sorry for the long post.
I was sexually abused and manipulated for a couple months in 2014 when I was 16 by my first boyfriend. A lot of it I had blocked out and hadn’t dealt with the trauma for years because I had no one I felt I could talk to about it and felt so guilty I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I finally got into therapy about a year and a half ago, was diagnosed with PTSD (among other things) and over the past 6 months have been working with a trauma specialist to work through some of it. After working hard in therapy, I’ve learned some tools that help but everything still just seems too much. However because I have learned some of those coping techniques some of the darker memories I have blocked out are starting to come back to me. At the end of the summer, I had my first flashback of him touching me when I didn’t want it (we were in a long distance relationship and everything I had remembered him doing was over Skype or online in some way). Within the last few weeks, I had my first very shattered flashback of him raping me. I had always assumed he never had the chance and that he had never actually done anything besides what he did online and figuring out that it may have gone farther than that is taking a major toll. I don’t want to believe any of it’s true and I don’t want to admit that it’s even a possibility. After the last flashback, it’s been running through my head constantly. No matter what grounding or relaxation I do or what coping skills I use, the image just keeps replaying in my mind over and over and over again. I’m tired and I just don’t want to think about it anymore. Have any of you dealt with this? What did you do to help ease it? I still can’t remember a time I actually told him no. I know I didn’t want it and had made excuses but I can’t ever remember saying no and I don’t think that helps. Any advice?
TL:DR: I have the memory of an ex raping me running through my head constantly and I just want it to stop. Advice?
|
beckyboo777
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-11 03:27:33
|
ptsd
|
I posted this on a sexual abuse subreddit earlier but thought it might fit in or be answered better here. Sorry for the long post. <es>I was sexually abused and manipulated for a couple months in 2014 when I was 16 by my first boyfriend.<ee> <es>A lot of it I had blocked out and hadn’t dealt with the trauma for years because I had no one I felt I could talk to about it and felt so guilty I didn’t want to talk to anyone.<ee> <es>I finally got into therapy about a year and a half ago, was diagnosed with PTSD (among other things) and over the past 6 months have been working with a trauma specialist to work through some of it.<ee> <es>After working hard in therapy, I’ve learned some tools that help but everything still just seems too much.<ee> <es>However because I have learned some of those coping techniques some of the darker memories I have blocked out are starting to come back to me.<ee> <es>At the end of the summer, I had my first flashback of him touching me when I didn’t want it (we were in a long distance relationship and everything I had remembered him doing was over Skype or online in some way).<ee> <es>Within the last few weeks, I had my first very shattered flashback of him raping me.<ee> <es>I had always assumed he never had the chance and that he had never actually done anything besides what he did online and figuring out that it may have gone farther than that is taking a major toll.<ee> <rs>I don’t want to believe any of it’s true and I don’t want to admit that it’s even a possibility.<re> <es>After the last flashback, it’s been running through my head constantly.<ee> <es>No matter what grounding or relaxation I do or what coping skills I use, the image just keeps replaying in my mind over and over and over again.<ee> <efs>I’m tired and I just don’t want to think about it anymore.<efe> <rs>Have any of you dealt with this?<re> <rs>What did you do to help ease it?<re> <es>I still can’t remember a time I actually told him no.<ee> <es>I know I didn’t want it and had made excuses but I can’t ever remember saying no and I don’t think that helps.<ee> <rs>Any advice? <re> <rs>TL:DR: I have the memory of an ex raping me running through my head constantly and I just want it to stop.<re> <rs>Advice?<re>
| 2
| 1
| 2
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how do the flashbacks make you feel
| null | null | null | true
| 212
|
f45o3e
|
How can I ever feel comfortable with sex again
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
My sexual assault happened 1.5 years ago. That was the first ever sexual experience I've had. Before that I wanted to have sex. I trusted men. I wanted be intimate with people. But now I dont feel like I can trust anyone that much. Sexual feelings that I have give me chest pains. I cant masturbate without thinking of him. I have no sexual freedom. Is it possible to trust someone again? Will I ever want to have sex? Is all sex scary as it was for me?
|
guinteapig
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-02-15 06:27:53
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>My sexual assault happened 1.5 years ago.<ee> <es>That was the first ever sexual experience I've had.<ee> <es>Before that I wanted to have sex.<ee> <es>I trusted men.<ee> <es>I wanted be intimate with people.<ee> <efs>But now I dont feel like I can trust anyone that much.<efe> <es>Sexual feelings that I have give me chest pains.<ee> <es>I cant masturbate without thinking of him.<ee> <es>I have no sexual freedom.<ee> <rs>Is it possible to trust someone again?<re> <rs>Will I ever want to have sex?<re> <rs>Is all sex scary as it was for me?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
f3d98v
|
How do I find motivation as a suicidal leech?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I'll try to keep this clear and straight to the point. So, like most of everyone else struggling with depression, I have trouble leaving my home, finding the motivation to go to the gym (being active is something I loved to do) and maintaining a clean home. Leaving my bed is an extremely difficult task to the point that I forget to eat and drink water.
Basically, I'm suicidal. The first thing I say to myself every morning is "I want to die" or "I want to kill myself." Hell, I've even caught myself saying those things in my sleep. I always unconsciously repeat variations of this idea to myself. Sometimes I don't realize it happened until after the fact.
I haven't been to therapy in quite a few months, so this is obviously something I need to address. Also, I have been on SSRIs (along with a cocktail of other medications) and I didn't enjoy that, so I'm not interested in that route.
What I am trying to get at is how do I find motivation again? What do y'all recommend? I just want to go back to the gym and maintain a healthy environment but anything I do falls short or I can't keep up with it.
|
MurkyNun
| 1
| 0
| 16
|
2020-02-13 17:19:08
|
getting_over_it
|
I'll try to keep this clear and straight to the point. <es>So, like most of everyone else struggling with depression, I have trouble leaving my home, finding the motivation to go to the gym (being active is something I loved to do) and maintaining a clean home.<ee> <es>Leaving my bed is an extremely difficult task to the point that I forget to eat and drink water. <ee> <es>Basically, I'm suicidal.<ee> <es>The first thing I say to myself every morning is "I want to die" or "I want to kill myself."<ee> <es>Hell, I've even caught myself saying those things in my sleep.<ee> <es>I always unconsciously repeat variations of this idea to myself.<ee> <es>Sometimes I don't realize it happened until after the fact. <ee> <es>I haven't been to therapy in quite a few months, so this is obviously something I need to address.<ee> <es>Also, I have been on SSRIs (along with a cocktail of other medications) and I didn't enjoy that, so I'm not interested in that route. <ee> <rs>What I am trying to get at is how do I find motivation again?<re> <rs>What do y'all recommend?<re> <rs>I just want to go back to the gym and maintain a healthy environment but anything I do falls short or I can't keep up with it.<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
the suicidal thoughts
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
eoqnhu
|
First post and wondering if someone can help me, I’m 15 years old by the way
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 3
| null |
Dre239
| 1
| 0
| 16
|
2020-01-14 20:09:50
|
addiction
|
<rs>First post and wondering if someone can help me, I’m 15 years old by the way<re> nan
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
ejbzv5
|
Bpd episode?
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
Hi! In your experience....What does a bpd episode look like?
How do you react, respond, behave, feel and think?
can you control it..are there certain words or things that trigger you?
Just trying to reach out, see how others experience are.
Thanx.
|
livingawareness1
| 1
| 0
| 12
|
2020-01-03 07:15:21
|
BPD
|
Hi! <rs>In your experience....What does a bpd episode look like? <re> <rs>How do you react, respond, behave, feel and think? <re> <rs>can you control it..are there certain words or things that trigger you?<re> <rs>Just trying to reach out, see how others experience are.<re> Thanx.
| 0
| 0
| 2
|
What happened that you want X ?
|
control your bpd episodes
|
Why are you wanting X ?
|
to know how to react to a bpd episode
| null | null | null | true
| 2
|
eibjo6
|
I feel like closing my eyes and pressing the x as hard as I can when I’m driving and just dying
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I don’t wanna die but I don’t care about being alive. I could close my eyes, press the X and drive into the ocean. No one else would die bc no one else will be around. Everything would be so fuvking peaceful and maybe then someone would care about my existence b
|
thegirlflower
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-01 00:42:53
|
BPD
|
<es>I don’t wanna die but I don’t care about being alive.<ee> <es>I could close my eyes, press the X and drive into the ocean.<ee> No one else would die bc no one else will be around. Everything would be so fuvking peaceful and maybe then someone would care about my existence b
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you don't care about being alive
|
How did X make you feel?
|
not caring about being alive
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you dont' care about being alive
| null | true
| 100
|
eij12x
|
Anyone wanna chat?
|
1a
|
chitchat
| 1
|
^
Just a heads up, im an anxious person
|
cyfrifffug
| 1
| 0
| 12
|
2020-01-01 14:46:26
|
Anxiety
|
<rs>Anyone wanna chat?<re> ^ Just a heads up, im an anxious person
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
anxiety
|
How did X make you feel?
|
your anxiety
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you want to chat with someone
| null | true
| 101
|
ekfgii
|
Really proud of myself
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
I’m 28 days clean.
I’ve gotten up before 10am today
I’m accepting that I do in fact have a mental illness
I stood up for myself
I’m genuinely proud of myself and I’m gonna reward myself today by taking a really nice bath tonight instead of a quick shower like normal.
|
ewwhoisluke
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-05 16:50:13
|
mentalillness
|
I’m 28 days clean. I’ve gotten up before 10am today I’m accepting that I do in fact have a mental illness I stood up for myself I’m genuinely proud of myself and I’m gonna reward myself today by taking a really nice bath tonight instead of a quick shower like normal.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
euepla
|
Unhappy/Unfulfilled
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Any advice on how to stop feeling unfulfilled and unhappy ? Everything makes me unhappy. My marriage, my life... I just constantly feel like there is a weight on my chest. Like I am suffocating. I try to explain to my husband how I am feeling and he just brushes me off. I literally feel like my life is wasting away, and I am just suffocating.
|
Mivida0405
| 1
| 0
| 19
|
2020-01-26 23:06:03
|
selfhelp
|
<rs>Any advice on how to stop feeling unfulfilled and unhappy ?<re> <es>Everything makes me unhappy.<ee> <efs>My marriage, my life... I just constantly feel like there is a weight on my chest.<efe> <efs>Like I am suffocating.<efe> <es>I try to explain to my husband how I am feeling and he just brushes me off.<ee> <efs>I literally feel like my life is wasting away, and I am just suffocating.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
eipbxa
|
I’m having a panic attack right now
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I lost the small blade I usually use, and I’m scared my parents found it and saw the little bit of dried blood on it. I’m scared that I’m gonna start using something bigger and sharper like an actual knife. Please someone help. I’m scared to ask my parents for a new blade, because yes it is an artist knife, but if they know about it, they might confront me.. it’s safer than a bigger knife, because it can’t go very deep and can very rarely even break skin unless I’m numb. What do I do?
|
wigglywarfstache
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-01 23:06:55
|
selfharm
|
<es>I’m having a panic attack right now<ee> <es>I lost the small blade I usually use.<ee> <efs>I’m scared my parents found it and saw the little bit of dried blood on it.<efe> <efs>I’m scared that I’m gonna start using something bigger and sharper like an actual knife.<efe> <rs>Please someone help.<re> <efs>I’m scared to ask my parents for a new blade, because yes it is an artist knife, but if they know about it, they might confront me.. it’s safer than a bigger knife, because it can’t go very deep and can very rarely even break skin unless I’m numb.<efe> <rs>What do I do?<re>
| 1
| 2
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you cut yourself
| null | null | null | null | null | true
| 122
|
ej7o8d
|
Welcoming the New Year sober!
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
I have 18 days sober today. I woke up new years day, I wasn't hungover, both of my cats were snuggled in bed with me and the sun was shining through the windows. I celebrated at a meeting, solidified a sponser and ended the day feeling very loved and supported. Bring it on 2020 💕
|
OxidativePhos17
| 55
| 0
| 18
|
2020-01-03 01:09:13
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
I have 18 days sober today. I woke up new years day, I wasn't hungover, both of my cats were snuggled in bed with me and the sun was shining through the windows. I celebrated at a meeting, solidified a sponser and ended the day feeling very loved and supported. Bring it on 2020 💕
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
elzop8
|
My husband just whipped his phone at me
|
1b
|
rant
| 2
|
He got upset at me because his sister asked if we were available for lunch this weekend. He asked me if lunch or dinner was better. I said I didn't know or care. I had wanted us to go snowshoeing this weekend but he had said a few weeks back that we had too much work to do on the house to go. So I was a bit pissed that we were suddenly now available to socialize with his family when he had previously said we were too busy to go snowshoeing. When I shrugged and gave him a non answer he got angry and whipped his phone at me while I was on the laptop and left a huge dent on my work laptop and screamed "Why do you make things so hard for me?". I was shocked. Coming from an abusive family my natural reaction is to completely shut down. I stopped talking to him and making eye contact with him and continued working. He then stormed around the house for about 20 mins getting his things ready to go somewhere. Knocking over my glass of water in the process and leaving it for me to clean it up.
I want to leave. I don't have anywhere to go. No family, no friends. I don't make enough money to be on my own.
|
kanilanana
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-08 22:00:53
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>He got upset at me because his sister asked if we were available for lunch this weekend.<ee> <es>He asked me if lunch or dinner was better.<ee> <es>I said I didn't know or care. <ee><es>I had wanted us to go snowshoeing this weekend but he had said a few weeks back that we had too much work to do on the house to go.<ee> <es>So I was a bit pissed that we were suddenly now available to socialize with his family when he had previously said we were too busy to go snowshoeing.<ee> <es>When I shrugged and gave him a non answer he got angry and whipped his phone at me while I was on the laptop and left a huge dent on my work laptop and screamed "Why do you make things so hard for me?".<ee> <efs>I was shocked.<efe> <es>Coming from an abusive family my natural reaction is to completely shut down.<ee> <es>I stopped talking to him and making eye contact with him and continued working.<ee> <es>He then stormed around the house for about 20 mins getting his things ready to go somewhere.<ee> <es>Knocking over my glass of water in the process and leaving it for me to clean it up.<ee> <rs>I want to leave.<re <es>I don't have anywhere to go.<ee> <es>No family, no friends.<ee> <es>I don't make enough money to be on my own.<ee>
| 2
| 1
| 1
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you felt about his outburst
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you leave the relationship
| null | true
| 211
|
eknsjx
|
@delmansad
|
0
|
chitchat
| 3
| null |
livinhell456456564
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-06 03:04:42
|
sad
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
enmwim
|
Motivation
|
1a
|
rant
| 2
|
I’m on day 12 now. Ive been clean of my drug of choice for 3 years but decided its time to go completely sober. I’d been drinking way too much and showing some signs of dependency, so I made it a New Years thing. No more booze, weed, drugs, or cigarettes. I figured cigs would be the hardest.
Yesterday, I found two bags of leftover booze my girlfriend never took from my house before New Years. I decided to pour it all out in the sink and toss the bottles. I had no idea the emotional effect that was going to have on me. I never realized how heavy my addiction had been getting. These past two weeks have been harder than I imagined. I get shaky and irritated really quickly, it’s hard to sleep at night, I got stomach cramps the entire first week. But this moment pouring these drinks out was startling. I felt like I could cry. I was shaking while pouring it out and kept having to hold my breath so I wouldn’t keep smelling it. I had to recompose before I could throw the bottles out and when I did, I smashed them in anger.
Thanks for letting me vent. God bless and I hope your struggles get easier as soon as possible
|
Jsgoose6
| 1
| 0
| 8
|
2020-01-12 12:29:09
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>I’m on day 12 now.<ee> <es>Ive been clean of my drug of choice for 3 years but decided its time to go completely sober.<ee> <es>I’d been drinking way too much and showing some signs of dependency, so I made it a New Years thing.<ee> <es>No more booze, weed, drugs, or cigarettes.<ee> <es>I figured cigs would be the hardest. <ee> <es>Yesterday, I found two bags of leftover booze my girlfriend never took from my house before New Years.<ee> <es>I decided to pour it all out in the sink and toss the bottles.<ee> <es>I had no idea the emotional effect that was going to have on me.<ee> <es>I never realized how heavy my addiction had been getting.<ee> <es>These past two weeks have been harder than I imagined.<ee> <efs>I get shaky and irritated really quickly, it’s hard to sleep at night, I got stomach cramps the entire first week.<efe> <efs>But this moment pouring these drinks out was startling.<efe> <efs>I felt like I could cry.<efe> <efs>I was shaking while pouring it out and kept having to hold my breath so I wouldn’t keep smelling it.<efe> <es>I had to recompose before I could throw the bottles out and when I did, I smashed them in anger. <ee> Thanks for letting me vent. God bless and I hope your struggles get easier as soon as possible
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are getting withdrawls
| null | true
| 220
|
eibg1t
|
Guess who missed the start of the new decade because they couldn’t whether to hold their pee twice
|
1a
|
chitchat
| 2
|
Great start to a new decade, too bad I missed that very moment stumbling out of the toilet. About 2 minutes before I contemplated whether my peeing will compromise my chances of catching the countdown
But I decided what’s the point if I can’t enjoy it because I need to pee
So I start pee, realising this is a large tank I legit my way out of it uncomfortably just to be safe.
My sister says they’ll be a minute ish left
I realise the sucked in pee in a lot more discomforting so I decide I can wing a turbo whizz and fly out before it even hits 10 seconds.
Turns out life doesn’t care about your lack of time awareness, not even in its millisecondric form of evil. I missed the countdown because I couldn’t decide between peeing and then not peeing twice in the matter of minutes lmao
|
buxtonwater3
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-01 00:35:00
|
ADHD
|
<es>Guess who missed the start of the new decade because they couldn’t whether to hold their pee twice<ee> <es>Great start to a new decade, too bad I missed that very moment stumbling out of the toilet.<ee> <es>About 2 minutes before I contemplated whether my peeing will compromise my chances of catching the countdown<ee> <es>But I decided what’s the point if I can’t enjoy it because I need to pee<ee> <es>So I start pee, realising this is a large tank I legit my way out of it uncomfortably just to be safe. <ee> <es>My sister says they’ll be a minute ish left<ee> <es>I realise the sucked in pee in a lot more discomforting so I decide I can wing a turbo whizz and fly out before it even hits 10 seconds.<ee> <es>Turns out life doesn’t care about your lack of time awareness, not even in its millisecondric form of evil.<ee> <es>I missed the countdown because I couldn’t decide between peeing and then not peeing twice in the matter of minutes lmao<ee>
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
eia4vi
|
Olanzapine (Zyprexa)
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Hello everyone!
I've been diagnosed with BPD, I'm a 20 year old guy if that's relevant. And I've been taking Olanzapine 5 mg everyday before I go to sleep for a few weeks and it's been helping tremendously with my symptoms, I don't get angry as much, I don't have outbursts, it has helped with my symptoms perfectly and my mood feels very stable most of the day.
But I've been wondering if it's okay to keep taking this drug long term at this same dosage, I can't afford going to therapy again so I can't get a professionals perspective, nor did talk therapy help at all with me.
I'm aware of the weight gain but I've been exercising and haven't gained any weight, other than that the drug is perfect for me and I finally feel like myself again.
So is it okay to keep taking this drug for months, or years let's say at this same dosage? And what can I expect? Any long term effects or precautions I should be aware of?
Thanks in advance!
|
starsinthedistance_
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2019-12-31 22:50:20
|
depression
|
Hello everyone! <es>I've been diagnosed with BPD, I'm a 20 year old guy if that's relevant.<ee> <es><efs>And I've been taking Olanzapine 5 mg everyday before I go to sleep for a few weeks and it's been helping tremendously with my symptoms, I don't get angry as much, I don't have outbursts, it has helped with my symptoms perfectly and my mood feels very stable most of the day.<efe><ee> But I've been wondering if it's okay to keep taking this drug long term at this same dosage, I can't afford going to therapy again so I can't get a professionals perspective, nor did talk therapy help at all with me. <efs>I'm aware of the weight gain but I've been exercising and haven't gained any weight, other than that the drug is perfect for me and I finally feel like myself again.<efe> <rs>So is it okay to keep taking this drug for months, or years let's say at this same dosage?<re> <rs>And what can I expect?<re> <rs>Any long term effects or precautions I should be aware of?<re> Thanks in advance!
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
f3pcub
|
Attacked by Parent
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
I'm twenty but I've been physically and verbally abused by a parent for fifteen years now. She's single mom, although my dad pays child support and has always been there for my sister and I. I've dealt with this just fine for all those fifteen years now, but last night, she called the police on me for pushing her back (tbh first time I ever applied force against her in my two decades) after she shoved her way into my room (the door to which is cracked from her past attempts at breaking the door open when I locked it in the past to avoid these physical confrontations that she always begins, and which she has since removed the lock to), and was shoving and slapping me.
I was wondering if there's any legal recourse I can take to prevent such things from happening in the first place. Should I immediately call the police the next time she attacks me? Can I get a court order or something for her to get therapy?
Of course, I know that some reactions might be, "you're an adult now so just move out," but please I don't want to spill my entire life story, current circunstances, and rationale for staying. Please just give me what advice you can while assuming I can't move out.
I also know that many parents beat their children, so some might say to just "suck it up," but by involving the police she's putting my future career prospects at risk.
|
Lunnod
| 1
| 0
| 11
|
2020-02-14 08:33:25
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>I'm twenty but I've been physically and verbally abused by a parent for fifteen years now.<ee> <es>She's single mom, although my dad pays child support and has always been there for my sister and I.<ee> <es>I've dealt with this just fine for all those fifteen years now, but last night, she called the police on me for pushing her back (tbh first time I ever applied force against her in my two decades) after she shoved her way into my room (the door to which is cracked from her past attempts at breaking the door open when I locked it in the past to avoid these physical confrontations that she always begins, and which she has since removed the lock to), and was shoving and slapping me.<ee> <rs>I was wondering if there's any legal recourse I can take to prevent such things from happening in the first place.<re> <rs>Should I immediately call the police the next time she attacks me?<re> <rs>Can I get a court order or something for her to get therapy?<re> Of course, I know that some reactions might be, "you're an adult now so just move out," but please I don't want to spill my entire life story, current circunstances, and rationale for staying. <rs>Please just give me what advice you can while assuming I can't move out. <re> <es>I also know that many parents beat their children, so some might say to just "suck it up," but by involving the police she's putting my future career prospects at risk.<ee>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your mother's aggression
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
eldlyu
|
I don't feel like I'm capable of ever being loved
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I'm so scared that nobody will ever love me. I've been in one bad relationship and now I'm prone to abuse. I just want one person in the whole world to care about me and now I'll never have it
|
Dumbidiotloser09632
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-07 16:16:10
|
domesticviolence
|
<efs>I'm so scared that nobody will ever love me.<efe> <es>I've been in one bad relationship and now I'm prone to abuse.<ee> <rs>I just want one person in the whole world to care about me and now I'll never have it<re>
| 1
| 1
| 1
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your bad relationship
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
the relationship make you feel
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you get over the relationship
| null | true
| 111
|
ejy2my
|
I'm having disturbing thoughts. It's frustrating me.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Hi guys,
For context, I am 23 years old, nearing 24. For my entire life I have never had a meaningful connection outside of my family. I was, not necessarily depressed, but lazy and down a lot. I got into gaming and got addicted to it.
I recently visitted a clinic to help my gaming addiction and I met someone there, a woman, who happened to move to my town for a fresh start. We really hit it off and we became great friends. We're very communicative and very open about things.
She struggled with alcohol coming out of the clinic but I've helped her with that and she's been sober for almost 2 months now with no weird hiccups or anything. She's doing great!
However, during her drunk phase, we hit it off a bit more than usual. We didn't have sex, but kissing and some other minor stuff was involved. We've talked about this a few times, very openly and very thoroughly, and it's fair to say that she is not interested in a relationship. Whatever reason she gives me, I think it's fair to say she is just not in love with me.
I've always believed myself to be a rational and normal human being, with good and strong values. I've been doing my best to move on and it's going well, I don't pressure her for anything, I don't really expect anything. I do like her, but I am convinced that I am also slightly infatuated because it's my only deep connection with anybody, and a woman to boot.
However, she's been very bad at communicating sometimes via app/phone. She's not always looking, has it on silent a lot, etc. That's all fine and I don't judge her for it but I have been craving attention from people in general and that's where my disturbing thoughts come in.
I'm starting to want to know what she's doing, what she's saying to others, I'm starting to wonder whether she's talking about me when I'm not around and if she's talking about me positively or negatively. I'm getting these fucked up thoughts in my head, thinking what it'd be like if I had a recorder on her phone, or was able to see her messages.
When I was fixing her phone the other day I casually scrolled through shit that was not for me to scroll through either while waiting on update downloads. I don't even know if it'd be fair of me to say that I caught myself in time because I definitely checked whether she was talking to other guys, even though she didn't and still doesn't owe me jack shit and is free to do whatever she well pleases.
It feels fucking horrendous. I feel guilty as fuck and it's disturbing as fuck. Note that I would never install spyware or some shit like that, I very much do NOT want to be a stalker or some shit. But the thoughts in that fashion being there to begin with REALLY fuck with me right now and I don't know what to do about it. I want to be a good friend and I want to take that to other people and help others and be a good person to others as well. I'm really proud of the way I was there for her during her alcohol months, not intrusive, not pushy, not ignorant but also with boundries, and just there for her, not judgemental, etc. I want to keep being that good kind of person.
I won't be able to see a psychologist for a couple more months due to waiting lists. So what would maybe help me to get myself straight in the meantime? This is really scary and I genuinely am disturbed by myself.
I hope not to be judged for sharing this and for some genuine help, because I think I could really use some. I am still convinced that I would not be capable of doing illegal shit and actually intrusive, fucked up stuff. But the phone thing really sits on my mind 24/7 right now and I'm filled with guilt about it.
|
ThrowAwayForHelpStuf
| 5
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-04 15:40:08
|
selfhelp
|
Hi guys, <es>For context, I am 23 years old, nearing 24.<ee> <es>For my entire life I have never had a meaningful connection outside of my family.<ee> <es>I was, not necessarily depressed, but lazy and down a lot.<ee> <es>I got into gaming and got addicted to it.<ee> <es>I recently visitted a clinic to help my gaming addiction and I met someone there, a woman, who happened to move to my town for a fresh start.<ee> <es>We really hit it off and we became great friends.<ee> <es>We're very communicative and very open about things.<ee> <es>She struggled with alcohol coming out of the clinic but I've helped her with that and she's been sober for almost 2 months now with no weird hiccups or anything.<ee> <es>She's doing great!<ee> <es>However, during her drunk phase, we hit it off a bit more than usual.<ee> <es>We didn't have sex, but kissing and some other minor stuff was involved.<ee> <es>We've talked about this a few times, very openly and very thoroughly, and it's fair to say that she is not interested in a relationship.<ee> <es>Whatever reason she gives me, I think it's fair to say she is just not in love with me.<ee> <es>I've always believed myself to be a rational and normal human being, with good and strong values.<ee> <es>I've been doing my best to move on and it's going well, I don't pressure her for anything, I don't really expect anything.<ee> <es>I do like her, but I am convinced that I am also slightly infatuated because it's my only deep connection with anybody, and a woman to boot.<ee> <es>However, she's been very bad at communicating sometimes via app/phone.<ee> <es>She's not always looking, has it on silent a lot, etc.<ee> <es>That's all fine and I don't judge her for it but I have been craving attention from people in general and that's where my disturbing thoughts come in.<ee> <es>I'm starting to want to know what she's doing, what she's saying to others, I'm starting to wonder whether she's talking about me when I'm not around and if she's talking about me positively or negatively.<ee> <es>I'm getting these fucked up thoughts in my head, thinking what it'd be like if I had a recorder on her phone, or was able to see her messages.<ee> <es>When I was fixing her phone the other day I casually scrolled through shit that was not for me to scroll through either while waiting on update downloads.<ee> <es>I don't even know if it'd be fair of me to say that I caught myself in time because I definitely checked whether she was talking to other guys, even though she didn't and still doesn't owe me jack shit and is free to do whatever she well pleases.<ee> <efs>It feels fucking horrendous.<efe> <efs>I feel guilty as fuck and it's disturbing as fuck.<efe> <es>Note that I would never install spyware or some shit like that, I very much do NOT want to be a stalker or some shit.<ee> <efs>But the thoughts in that fashion being there to begin with REALLY fuck with me right now and I don't know what to do about it.<efe> <rs>I want to be a good friend and I want to take that to other people and help others and be a good person to others as well.<re> <rs>I'm really proud of the way I was there for her during her alcohol months, not intrusive, not pushy, not ignorant but also with boundries, and just there for her, not judgemental, etc.<re> <rs>I want to keep being that good kind of person.<re> <es>I won't be able to see a psychologist for a couple more months due to waiting lists.<ee> <rs>So what would maybe help me to get myself straight in the meantime?<re> <efs>This is really scary and I genuinely am disturbed by myself.<efe> <rs>I hope not to be judged for sharing this and for some genuine help, because I think I could really use some.<re> I am still convinced that I would not be capable of doing illegal shit and actually intrusive, fucked up stuff. <es>But the phone thing really sits on my mind 24/7 right now and I'm filled with guilt about it.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ekp26g
|
Tired of Crack Addict Brother (41SM) Shenanigans
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3
|
My brother is 41 and has been using crack since he was 11 years old according to him. My brother and I were placed in foster care at a very young age because my mom had her issues whatever. As you can imagine we came from a very dysfunctional family and seen a lot of things children should never see and he's never spoken about those issues but I know he was sexually molested as a very young age and I think that's what led him to use drugs. Our mother was never around and we were always in the street that's where he started using. Fast forward he's never been able to move on he HAD been able to maintain a job but has not been able to have a place of his own he lives in his car doesn't shower always has awful body odor and believes no one can tell. At time he speaks like he's perfect. has issues with the way people eat he literally snaps and tells you to get off his car if he sees you eating anything. My brother is really f***** up in the head bipolar and everything he has not been diagnosed but that's just his character. He had been staying at my mom's and has lived at her place for some time but recently I found out through my younger sister that my brother completely let go and is full-blown crack addict on the street lost his job begs for money and is now manipulating my mother for money he has tried to cut himself to make her feel bad for him says he needs money like large amounts of money to go into rehab but we know it's not true I believe he's buying large quantities of drug. When I was young I seen my brother overdose multiple times so scary tons of crying and now I don't cry I'm more sad than anything and just frustrated because this is in taking a toll on everyone and I just wanted to stop I don't know what advice to give to him because I'm not going to put up with his s*** and enable him.
I need your advice where can he seek treatment we live in Los Angeles California but I think at this point it be best if I just put him on a plane and send him off to another state. Is there a rock bottom to this shit?
|
rainlover24
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-06 04:51:12
|
addiction
|
<es>My brother is 41 and has been using crack since he was 11 years old according to him.<ee> <es>My brother and I were placed in foster care at a very young age because my mom had her issues whatever.<ee> <es>As you can imagine we came from a very dysfunctional family and seen a lot of things children should never see and he's never spoken about those issues but I know he was sexually molested as a very young age and I think that's what led him to use drugs.<ee> <es>Our mother was never around and we were always in the street that's where he started using.<ee> <es>Fast forward he's never been able to move on he HAD been able to maintain a job but has not been able to have a place of his own he lives in his car doesn't shower always has awful body odor and believes no one can tell.<ee> At time he speaks like he's perfect. <es>has issues with the way people eat he literally snaps and tells you to get off his car if he sees you eating anything.<ee> <es>My brother is really f***** up in the head bipolar and everything he has not been diagnosed but that's just his character.<ee> <es>He had been staying at my mom's and has lived at her place for some time but recently I found out through my younger sister that my brother completely let go and is full-blown crack addict on the street lost his job begs for money and is now manipulating my mother for money he has tried to cut himself to make her feel bad for him says he needs money like large amounts of money to go into rehab but we know it's not true I believe he's buying large quantities of drug.<ee> <efs>When I was young I seen my brother overdose multiple times so scary tons of crying and now I don't cry I'm more sad than anything and just frustrated because this is in taking a toll on everyone and I just wanted to stop I don't know what advice to give to him because I'm not going to put up with his s*** and enable him. <efe> <rs>I need your advice where can he seek treatment we live in Los Angeles California but I think at this point it be best if I just put him on a plane and send him off to another state.<re> <rs>Is there a rock bottom to this shit?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
too long sentence
| true
| 222
|
eiklc2
|
I’m struggling and everything feels wrong
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
I’m not sure how to start this but here I am. There is a lot going on in my life. My life is all over the show and my mental health is barely holding it together and yes I will say I am struggling badly...
But before everyone asks “have you been to a doctor/councillor/etc?” No I have not, not because I’m “making drama” or anything low. I have not looked for professional help yet as I am scared to ask for help. Growing up I was always called stupid or silly when I use to speak up about my emotions. It would ruin the family name if their only child was mentally unwell. That “label” would ruin their reputation and my life in their eyes. To top it to them, mental health is fake, a call for attention. So please don’t be harsh on me for my choices...
I have to choose to leave for my own sake but my family were turned against me by one person. They lied and played Chinese whispers. Not letting me say the truth. I hate how I’ve lost so many...most of my friends turned their backs and left when I needed them most.
It’s been a few months since going away but I’m still struggling to come to terms about it all and how the little contact I have with family is just lies and bull. I make jokes to deal with all of it but I dare not show the truth as what is the point? Everyone else has enough to deal with and no one will believe the kid that supposedly “ran away for a fairy tale”.
Do things ever get better? Will I always feel this alone? Is there a cure to it all?
|
DeadShadowKitty
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-01 17:05:35
|
mentalillness
|
I’m not sure how to start this but here I am. There is a lot going on in my life. <es>My life is all over the show and my mental health is barely holding it together and yes I will say I am struggling badly...<ee> But before everyone asks “have you been to a doctor/councillor/etc?” No I have not, not because I’m “making drama” or anything low. <efs>I have not looked for professional help yet as I am scared to ask for help.<efe> <es>Growing up I was always called stupid or silly when I use to speak up about my emotions.<ee> <es>It would ruin the family name if their only child was mentally unwell.<ee> That “label” would ruin their reputation and my life in their eyes. To top it to them, mental health is fake, a call for attention. So please don’t be harsh on me for my choices... <es>I have to choose to leave for my own sake but my family were turned against me by one person.<ee> They lied and played Chinese whispers. Not letting me say the truth. <efs>I hate how I’ve lost so many...most of my friends turned their backs and left when I needed them most.<efe> <efs>It’s been a few months since going away but I’m still struggling to come to terms about it all and how the little contact I have with family is just lies and bull.<efe> I make jokes to deal with all of it but I dare not show the truth as what is the point? Everyone else has enough to deal with and no one will believe the kid that supposedly “ran away for a fairy tale”. <rs>Do things ever get better?<re> <rs>Will I always feel this alone?<re> <rs>Is there a cure to it all?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
eiv6cp
|
What are team effectiveness workshops like at work?
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
Our boss said we are going to have a one-day team effectiveness training at the office this month and attendance is mandatory for everyone.
We’re around 11 people at the office and I’m really worried because I don’t fit in very well with them and I always get called out for being too quiet. I’m curious to know what it’s gonna be like so I can prepare myself mentally. Have you had similar experiences?
|
blushingcat
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-02 07:31:47
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>Our boss said we are going to have a one-day team effectiveness training at the office this month and attendance is mandatory for everyone. <ee> <efs>We’re around 11 people at the office and I’m really worried because I don’t fit in very well with them and I always get called out for being too quiet.<efe> <rs>I’m curious to know what it’s gonna be like so I can prepare myself mentally.<re> <rs>Have you had similar experiences?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
emqj7u
|
Are you aware?
|
0
|
survey
| 1
| null |
anonymousVSanonymous
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-10 12:52:34
|
selfhelp
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
eis89x
|
I have bad relationship anxiety and I don’t know what to do.
|
1c
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Honestly I don’t know how to really explain this.
I get so much anxiety when my SO goes out, it’s not like I don’t trust him, my stomach just kills me and I think of the worst scenarios.
I also have a huge problem of always asking if he’s okay, it’s probably about 5 times a day I ask,”Are you okay?”
I also always feel like he doesn’t love me or I’m bothering him. I hate this, I hate feeling like it. Because deep down I know I’m not.
5 out of 7 days I’m okay & we’re good but those two days I’m anxiety ridden and look at every little detail or any change and it genuinely makes me sick.
Am I the only one/am I crazy/how can I somehow fix this?
I’d also like to note I do go to therapy and I occasionally take anxiety medication when needed.
|
bvgomez
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-02 02:58:09
|
Anxiety
|
Honestly I don’t know how to really explain this. <es>I get so much anxiety when my SO goes out, it’s not like I don’t trust him, my stomach just kills me and I think of the worst scenarios. <ee> <es>I also have a huge problem of always asking if he’s okay, it’s probably about 5 times a day I ask,”Are you okay?” <ee> <efs>I also always feel like he doesn’t love me or I’m bothering him.<efe> <efs>I hate this, I hate feeling like it.<efe> Because deep down I know I’m not. <efs>5 out of 7 days I’m okay & we’re good but those two days I’m anxiety ridden and look at every little detail or any change and it genuinely makes me sick. <efe> <rs>Am I the only one/am I crazy/how can I somehow fix this? <re> <es>I’d also like to note I do go to therapy and I occasionally take anxiety medication when needed.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ejzcoc
|
Those who take beta blockers ONLY before a high stress situation such as a presentation, what dosage do you take?
|
0
|
survey
| 1
| null |
DarthChewbacc
| 3
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-04 17:18:49
|
socialanxiety
|
<rs>Those who take beta blockers ONLY before a high stress situation such as a presentation, what dosage do you take?<re> nan
| 0
| 0
| 2
|
What happened that you want X ?
|
to take beta blockers
|
Why are you wanting X ?
|
to take beta blockers
| null | null | null | true
| 2
|
f8kyhr
|
English class pisses me off.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I'll be the first to admit that I'm an angry person, I feel ambient anger to begin with but something about my English class/teacher makes me wanna throw a desk at my teacher. Maybe it's the fact that my teacher is stupendously old and every question of ours she "answers" just leads to more questions. Or maybe it's the fact that she gave us 4 research reports to do at the same time, two of which are 2 and 5 pages long. Whatever it is, English class causes and inexplicable amount of anger in me. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
|
DjLongPickle
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-02-24 03:20:19
|
Anger
|
<es>I'll be the first to admit that I'm an angry person, I feel ambient anger to begin with but something about my English class/teacher makes me wanna throw a desk at my teacher.<ee> <es>Maybe it's the fact that my teacher is stupendously old and every question of ours she "answers" just leads to more questions.<ee> <es>Or maybe it's the fact that she gave us 4 research reports to do at the same time, two of which are 2 and 5 pages long.<ee> <efs>Whatever it is, English class causes and inexplicable amount of anger in me.<efe> Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
english classes make you angry
| null | true
| 220
|
eva7t3
|
I’m really agressive and believe I might have anger issues.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
Usually I’m a serious person, it’s just how I am, most of the time I don’t feel anything, sadness, happiness...etc. Don’t get me wrong, I can have fun with friends if we’re having a good time. But I snap pretty easily.
Some of my friends call me a sadist when I’m angry. I’m just not a guy who enjoys being pranked or teased. When I’m angry I get violent really quick and feel urges. It just feels like a rush of anger and I just want to let it all out and enjoy it.
Once I threatened two of my best friends with a knife when they were at my house because one of them was being an asshole.
And one day I punched one of them in the nose (the same asshole as before) and I just wanted to see him suffering, he then said I got mental issues.
|
__Null_
| 4
| 0
| 51
|
2020-01-28 19:29:43
|
Anger
|
<es>Usually I’m a serious person, it’s just how I am, most of the time I don’t feel anything, sadness, happiness...etc.<ee> Don’t get me wrong, I can have fun with friends if we’re having a good time. <es>But I snap pretty easily. <ee> <es>Some of my friends call me a sadist when I’m angry.<ee> <es>I’m just not a guy who enjoys being pranked or teased.<ee> <es>When I’m angry I get violent really quick and feel urges.<ee> <efs>It just feels like a rush of anger and I just want to let it all out and enjoy it.<efe> <es>Once I threatened two of my best friends with a knife when they were at my house because one of them was being an asshole.<ee> <es>And one day I punched one of them in the nose (the same asshole as before) and I just wanted to see him suffering, he then said I got mental issues.<ee>
| 2
| 1
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how does anger make you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you get aggressive due to anger
| null | true
| 210
|
em6qdn
|
How I start becoming motivated?
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I went through a recent break up, it hurts a lot because he's also my bestfriend and everything just too fast. How I try to regain myself and heal properly so I can be productive once again
|
c0ndensada
| 1
| 0
| 13
|
2020-01-09 08:08:57
|
selfhelp
|
<es>I went through a recent break up, it hurts a lot because he's also my bestfriend and everything just too fast.<ee> <rs>How I try to regain myself and heal properly so I can be productive once again<re>
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why did you break up
|
How did X make you feel?
|
the break up
| null | null | null | true
| 102
|
eio9w9
|
Recording Times I feel angry and depressed. What else should I put?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Hi, I get really angry and depressed every now and then. A lot of shitty people messing with me because I have Autism. I am trying to get out of this rut by noting the time I become aware that I was or am angry, and the estimated time period before self awareness. I also take medications, setraline, and Adderall XR. I know that the medication can sometimes affect my mood negatively (anger & anxiety).
What else should I notate?
|
WarPigs01
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-01 21:43:11
|
Anger
|
<efs>Hi, I get really angry and depressed every now and then.<efe> <es>A lot of shitty people messing with me because I have Autism.<ee> I am trying to get out of this rut by noting the time I become aware that I was or am angry, and the estimated time period before self awareness. <es>I also take medications, setraline, and Adderall XR.<ee> <es>I know that the medication can sometimes affect my mood negatively (anger & anxiety).<ee> <rs>What else should I notate?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 1
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how notating would help you
| null | true
| 221
|
eih36c
|
2019 In Pixels. Hoping to kick depression’s ass in 2020!
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
| null |
TheLolFactor101
| 1
| 0
| 9
|
2020-01-01 10:40:26
|
mentalillness
|
<rs><es>2019 In Pixels. Hoping to kick depression’s ass in 2020!<ee><re> nan
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what caused your depression
|
How did X make you feel?
|
depression
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you want to get relief from depression
|
title
| true
| 101
|
eibqfj
|
Test testing 1 two one 2 🌲
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2
|
Hello? Can anyone see this? No? Ah okay.
|
ThatNuggaBilly
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-01 00:59:10
|
depression
|
Hello? Can anyone see this? No? Ah okay.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
thought
| true
| 0
|
eixhu7
|
I cant get myself together
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I returned from Ireland to my home Germany in november. My initial plan was to find a job and a new apartment as soon as I had the money. Until then I'm living with my (abusive) mother again. At first everything seemed pretty well, I wrote a few applications and got invinted to an interview. I didnt get the job. Since then I just cant get myself together. I dont know how to look for jobs anymore. I dont know how to write application letters anymore. I constantly feel like shit and there is NO progress. Not a single bit. Some days I wonder if I should just turn myself in to another psychiatry once again, at least that would give me a reason why I am not working rn.
|
hazeprincess
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-01-02 12:11:40
|
ADHD
|
<es>I returned from Ireland to my home Germany in November.<ee> <es>My initial plan was to find a job and a new apartment as soon as I had the money.<ee> <es>Until then I'm living with my (abusive) mother again.<ee> <es>At first everything seemed pretty well, I wrote a few applications and got invinted to an interview.<ee> <es>I didnt get the job.<ee> <es>Since then I just cant get myself together. I dont know how to look for jobs anymore.<ee> <es>I dont know how to write application letters anymore.<ee> <efs>I constantly feel like shit and there is NO progress.<efe> <es>Not a single bit.<ee> <es>Some days I wonder if I should just turn myself in to another psychiatry once again, at least that would give me a reason why I am not working rn.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 220
|
ej9zyg
|
I think I’m going crazy
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
I struggled with anxiety and depression growing up. I overcame depression. Living with an extremely narcissistic mother was difficult and overcoming depression under her roof was hard but I did it. I learned to ignore her comments and live for myself
But the last few months I’m turning into a darker place than I was before.
I feel like I’m being sucked into a black void. I don’t feel real. I feel detached from reality - actually, it feels like reality isn’t real. I question what being here even means and what’s the point? We’ll all die anyways. I sit here and I have a boyfriend I’m deeply in love with for two years and he treats me beyond amazing, and I’m becoming more and more scared thinking about the fact that a lifetime is so short and when we die, chances are well never meet again. It makes me wonder why is life worth it. I’ll know him and die and the universe goes on. The universe is endless. I question what is and isnt. What is life. But it’s not in a good way. In a dark, lonely way. I’m incredibly self aware now to the point it’s destroying me.
I feel like it’s been getting worse and worse and I honestly think I’m going to loose it soon. I feel like I’m going crazy. It’s worse than it’s ever been before and I don’t know what this feeling is, what is this? I stopped therapy but I’m going back but I can’t get back in until February.
I hate this. I can’t even say it feels like my depression. It feels like a whole new thing and I don’t know how to beat this questioning my entire existence and life and reality it’s driving me insane . depression I beat by Therapy, exercise, eating better even when I didn’t want to I FORCED myself too and I felt better after a few months. This is different. I question the point of it all if reality isn’t even real anyways when I’m trying to better myself. Everything is a ‘what if’ to me. I can’t beat it
I’m loosing my mind.. does this sound familiar to anyone? It’s terrifying. I think I’m going to end up in a psych ward soon. I wanted to kill myself today because of how overwhelming the feeling was. I don’t know how to cope until February . I tried explaining it to my partner but it doesn’t help. He doesn’t understand - I can’t expect him to either, it’s too complicated. It’s unlike anything I felt before and if this drags on I think I’ll die
|
hdndjdjd
| 2
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-03 04:12:10
|
mentalillness
|
<es>I struggled with anxiety and depression growing up.<ee> I overcame depression. <es>Living with an extremely narcissistic mother was difficult and overcoming depression under her roof was hard but I did it.<ee> I learned to ignore her comments and live for myself <es>But the last few months I’m turning into a darker place than I was before. <ee> <efs>I feel like I’m being sucked into a black void.<efe> <efs>I don’t feel real.<efe> <efs>I feel detached from reality - actually, it feels like reality isn’t real.<efe> I question what being here even means and what’s the point? We’ll all die anyways. <efs>I sit here and I have a boyfriend I’m deeply in love with for two years and he treats me beyond amazing, and I’m becoming more and more scared thinking about the fact that a lifetime is so short and when we die, chances are well never meet again.<efe> It makes me wonder why is life worth it. I’ll know him and die and the universe goes on. The universe is endless. I question what is and isnt. What is life. But it’s not in a good way. In a dark, lonely way. <efs>I’m incredibly self aware now to the point it’s destroying me.<efe> <efs>I feel like it’s been getting worse and worse and I honestly think I’m going to loose it soon.<efe> <efs>I feel like I’m going crazy.<efe> <es>It’s worse than it’s ever been before and I don’t know what this feeling is, what is this?<ee> I stopped therapy but I’m going back but I can’t get back in until February. <efs>I hate this.<efe> <es>I can’t even say it feels like my depression.<ee> <efs>It feels like a whole new thing and I don’t know how to beat this questioning my entire existence and life and reality it’s driving me insane .<efe> depression I beat by Therapy, exercise, eating better even when I didn’t want to I FORCED myself too and I felt better after a few months. This is different. I question the point of it all if reality isn’t even real anyways when I’m trying to better myself. Everything is a ‘what if’ to me. I can’t beat it <efs>I’m loosing my mind.. does this sound familiar to anyone?<efe> <efs>It’s terrifying.<efe> I think I’m going to end up in a psych ward soon. <efs>I wanted to kill myself today because of how overwhelming the feeling was. I don’t know how to cope until February .<efe> <es>I tried explaining it to my partner but it doesn’t help.<ee> He doesn’t understand - I can’t expect him to either, it’s too complicated. <efs>It’s unlike anything I felt before and if this drags on I think I’ll die<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are overwhelmed by dark and lonely feelings
| null | true
| 220
|
eii6p5
|
Anyone here goes to Cornell
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
Will regret this later, but it’s hard to find someone on campus who can truly relate to how I feel and what I’m going through.
|
gideonmt
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-01 13:09:42
|
BPD
|
<rs>Anyone here goes to Cornell<re> <es>Will regret this later, but it’s hard to find someone on campus who can truly relate to how I feel and what I’m going through.<ee>
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what you are going through
|
How did X make you feel?
|
what you are going through in campus
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you out of your situation
| null | true
| 101
|
eiv8a1
|
I’m crying so hard
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
WHY WONT SOMEONE HELP ME??
|
tyi-smartie
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-02 07:37:48
|
selfharm
|
WHY WONT SOMEONE HELP ME??
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
repeat
| true
| 0
|
ekyg0h
|
Help.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I (29 M) am recently having problems with anger and depression. I don't know what to do. I know it's the external things that are affecting me, but how do I at least keep calm enough to stop being so angry. I'm not even sure what emotions are coming. It's like a huge wave of hurt, fear, mad, high blood pressure... I'm not going to hurt myself, but my brain goes to that immediately... How do I keep my mental cool?
|
Tim-jasper-jim
| 1
| 0
| 9
|
2020-01-06 18:56:32
|
Anger
|
<es>I (29 M) am recently having problems with anger and depression.<ee> I don't know what to do. <es>I know it's the external things that are affecting me, but how do I at least keep calm enough to stop being so angry.<ee> <efs>I'm not even sure what emotions are coming.<efe> <rs><efs>It's like a huge wave of hurt, fear, mad, high blood pressure... I'm not going to hurt myself, but my brain goes to that immediately... How do I keep my mental cool?<efe><re>
| 1
| 2
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what caused the anger issues
| null | null | null | null | null | true
| 122
|
eqkqh3
|
Go to favorite non alcoholic drinks??
|
1a
|
survey
| 1
|
Hi! I’m 24f, 8 months sober~ my housemate is having a house party here tonight and it’ll be my first time at a real house party since I got sober. I’ve been avoiding them bc I don’t fully trust myself. I feel pretty good right now and I want to feel fun and included tonight without drinking all the margaritas and punch my housemates are making. I’m clearly feeling a bit anxious lol. What are your favorite non alcoholic mock tails or other drinks you like when you go out/are at dinners or parties?
|
zrep3443
| 1
| 0
| 25
|
2020-01-18 19:07:50
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
Hi! I’m 24f, 8 months sober~ my housemate is having a house party here tonight and it’ll be my first time at a real house party since I got sober. I’ve been avoiding them bc I don’t fully trust myself. I feel pretty good right now and I want to feel fun and included tonight without drinking all the margaritas and punch my housemates are making. I’m clearly feeling a bit anxious lol. What are your favorite non alcoholic mock tails or other drinks you like when you go out/are at dinners or parties?
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
elf5bq
|
Mad? True Madness is have been wrangled, tortured, and spit on. After that you make a choice; keep trying for your life; or run, run, RUN and never look back. Fall down the rabbit hole, and engulf yourself in MADNESS. And sometimes, you arent given a choice.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
| null |
ashhtreeee
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-07 18:05:53
|
mentalillness
|
Mad? True Madness is have been wrangled, tortured, and spit on. After that you make a choice; keep trying for your life; or run, run, RUN and never look back. Fall down the rabbit hole, and engulf yourself in MADNESS. And sometimes, you arent given a choice. nan
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
thought,title
| true
| 0
|
ei8lds
|
Finally feeling back to myself!
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
After a disastrous couple of weeks trying Vyvanse, I'm back on Adderall and all feels right with the world again.
It was like all my ADHD symptoms got turned up to 11, and I even had some that haven't been problems for me before.
It was a nightmare that I can barely remember now, but at least I know it's not for me. There's way more I was going to say, but it was turning into a rant, and I'm really happy and feel like celebrating today.
Yay for doing the things again!
|
TryAgainJen
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2019-12-31 20:46:32
|
ADHD
|
After a disastrous couple of weeks trying Vyvanse, I'm back on Adderall and all feels right with the world again. It was like all my ADHD symptoms got turned up to 11, and I even had some that haven't been problems for me before. It was a nightmare that I can barely remember now, but at least I know it's not for me. There's way more I was going to say, but it was turning into a rant, and I'm really happy and feel like celebrating today. Yay for doing the things again!
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
enk5f1
|
As Bill Sees It, 1.12
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2
|
To Rebuild Security, p. 301
In our behavior respecting financial and emotional security, fear, greed, possessiveness, and pride have too often done their worst. Surveying his business or employment record, almost any alcoholic can ask questions like these:
In addition to my drinking problem, what character defects contributed to my financial instability? Did fear and inferiority about my fitness for my job destroy my confidence and fill me with conflict? Or did I overvalue myself and play the big shot?
Businesswomen in A.A. will find that these questions often apply to them, too, and the alcoholic housewife can also make the family financially insecure. Indeed, all alcoholics need to cross-examine themselves ruthlessly to determine how their own personality defects have demolished their security.
12 and 12, pp. 51-52
|
Whtsox
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-12 06:37:54
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
To Rebuild Security, p. 301 In our behavior respecting financial and emotional security, fear, greed, possessiveness, and pride have too often done their worst. Surveying his business or employment record, almost any alcoholic can ask questions like these: In addition to my drinking problem, what character defects contributed to my financial instability? Did fear and inferiority about my fitness for my job destroy my confidence and fill me with conflict? Or did I overvalue myself and play the big shot? Businesswomen in A.A. will find that these questions often apply to them, too, and the alcoholic housewife can also make the family financially insecure. Indeed, all alcoholics need to cross-examine themselves ruthlessly to determine how their own personality defects have demolished their security. 12 and 12, pp. 51-52
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
eyy520
|
Need some advice
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
I’ve been having anger problems for quite a while now but they recently got worse, no one helps me or gives me advice on what I could do. I came to this subreddit looking for help because it’s actually making me quite upset as I don’t know what to do, does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do?
|
OhFroh261
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-02-04 22:12:09
|
Anger
|
<es>I’ve been having anger problems for quite a while now but they recently got worse, no one helps me or gives me advice on what I could do.<ee> <efs>I came to this subreddit looking for help because it’s actually making me quite upset as I don’t know what to do, does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do?<efe>
| 1
| 2
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what causes your anger
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your anger problems have gotten worse
| null | true
| 120
|
f1ka4h
|
Rage/destruction when fighting
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Sometimes when I get in a fight with my wife, we get to such an emotional impasse and the only way I can find out of it is to punch a wall, throw something, or break something. When we come down, she will even understand my level of frustration but of course wants me to stop. It’s never anything at her and I never have thoughts or desires to hurt her. Just in that moment I need a release.
Does anyone else experience this and have guidance? I try to catch it before it can happen and likewise my wife tries to catch her own explosive emotions (though she doesn’t get destructive) but it’s something we both are still working on.
We’ve thought of coming up with a code word when we feel the impasse coming. So maybe that can work?
|
qwerty1799
| 1
| 0
| 6
|
2020-02-10 03:24:48
|
Anger
|
<es>Sometimes when I get in a fight with my wife, we get to such an emotional impasse and the only way I can find out of it is to punch a wall, throw something, or break something.<ee> <es>When we come down, she will even understand my level of frustration but of course wants me to stop.<ee> It’s never anything at her and I never have thoughts or desires to hurt her. <es>Just in that moment I need a release. <ee> <rs>Does anyone else experience this and have guidance?<re> I try to catch it before it can happen and likewise my wife tries to catch her own explosive emotions (though she doesn’t get destructive) but it’s something we both are still working on. <rs>We’ve thought of coming up with a code word when we feel the impasse coming.<re> <rs>So maybe that can work?<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
all the rage during fights with your wife
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
eiovux
|
CBT
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
I’ve finally been referred for CBT in my area. Did/Does CBT work for you?
|
15fairyflowers
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-01 22:32:40
|
Anxiety
|
<es>I’ve finally been referred for CBT in my area.<ee> <rs>Did/Does CBT work for you?<re>
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you were referred for CBT
|
How did X make you feel?
|
your condition
| null | null | null | true
| 102
|
eltc9j
|
Sports injury and returning to sports, how to handle unavoidable triggers?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
So, I play roller derby, a full contact sport. I had a nasty knee injury (completely torn ACL) that required surgery. I had as smooth a recovery physically as possible. Mentally, not so much. I have not been diagnosed with PTSD or seen a therapist, etc., because I am a broke grad student, but if I make a weird contact with someone or take a weird fall (even if I’m completely uninjured), it’s incredibly triggering and I end up having a panic attack or sometimes I’m back in the moment of my original injury. When people watch sports or anything, and anything at all weird happens with someone’s leg, it’s like I can’t breathe.
Back in December, after I had finally been starting to get back to a good headspace, I comparatively mildly re-injured that same knee, and yesterday was my first day back in roller skates since. I was so anxious, I was nauseated that whole practice and I cried for hours after. I love my sport but I can’t keep this up. The mental toll is getting to be too much.
I guess I’m on here to ask, those of you who have PTSD/PTSD symptoms from sports injuries, and returned to your sport, how do you cope? How do you deal with unavoidable triggers? I could really use some advice
|
smolderbyboi
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-08 14:23:48
|
ptsd
|
<es>So, I play roller derby, a full contact sport.<ee> <es>I had a nasty knee injury (completely torn ACL) that required surgery.<ee> <es>I had as smooth a recovery physically as possible.<ee> <es>Mentally, not so much.<ee> <es>I have not been diagnosed with PTSD or seen a therapist, etc., because I am a broke grad student.<ee> <efs>if I make a weird contact with someone or take a weird fall (even if I’m completely uninjured), it’s incredibly triggering and I end up having a panic attack or sometimes I’m back in the moment of my original injury.<efe> <efs>When people watch sports or anything, and anything at all weird happens with someone’s leg, it’s like I can’t breathe.<efe> <es>Back in December, after I had finally been starting to get back to a good headspace, I comparatively mildly re-injured that same knee, and yesterday was my first day back in roller skates since.<ee> <efs>I was so anxious, I was nauseated that whole practice and I cried for hours after.<efe> <es>I love my sport but I can’t keep this up.<ee> <es>The mental toll is getting to be too much.<ee> <rs>I guess I’m on here to ask, those of you who have PTSD/PTSD symptoms from sports injuries, and returned to your sport, how do you cope?<re> <rs>How do you deal with unavoidable triggers?<re> <rs>I could really use some advice<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
eigaip
|
I feel that my fear of angering others is pushing people away
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Has any else experienced this? Perhaps overcome it? I would love some insight/help. Thank you.
Context: I am a 26F that was verbally, physically, and sexually abused by my father. He expressed his anger and I learned to fear it. I shunned it. Now I feel like I don't know how to deal with it. I don't feel that being angry yields effective communication. I don't know how to be angry. I want to practice but I'm so tired of not speaking my mind. I want to be able to speak on my anger without losing my shit. As I'm writing this I feel I'm just complaining and I know I'm practicing. It's just hard. The burden on my heart and soul is heavy.
|
gravymadefromscratch
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-01 08:50:55
|
ptsd
|
<rs>Has any else experienced this?<re> <rs>Perhaps overcome it?<re> <rs>I would love some insight/help.<re> Thank you. <es>Context: I am a 26F that was verbally, physically, and sexually abused by my father.<ee> <es>He expressed his anger and I learned to fear it.<ee> <es>I shunned it.<ee> <efs>Now I feel like I don't know how to deal with it.<efe> <efs>I don't feel that being angry yields effective communication.<efe> <efs>I don't know how to be angry.<efe> <efs>I want to practice but I'm so tired of not speaking my mind.<efe> <rs>I want to be able to speak on my anger without losing my shit.<re> <efs>As I'm writing this I feel I'm just complaining and I know I'm practicing.<efe> <efs>It's just hard.<efe> <efs>The burden on my heart and soul is heavy.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
emtpop
|
Help advice needed
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I tapered off Suboxone and went off 3 days ago. I’ve quit Methadone and Heroin in the past and this is by far way harder. I feel like I caught a stomach Flu. I through up all night last night and yawned non stop. Also I this all started when I tried using Kratom to help, I’m wondering if I had a bad reaction to the Kratom? Or if I took it too soon and had precipitated withdrawals. Anyways I’m really down, almost feel like giving up and finding a way to get some dope.
|
swar5484
| 1
| 0
| 11
|
2020-01-10 16:57:33
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
<es>I tapered off Suboxone and went off 3 days ago. <ee> <es>I’ve quit Methadone and Heroin in the past and this is by far way harder.<ee> <efs>I feel like I caught a stomach Flu.<efe> <efs>I through up all night last night and yawned non stop.<efe> <ee>Also I this all started when I tried using Kratom to help.<ee> <rs>I’m wondering if I had a bad reaction to the Kratom?<re> <rs> Or if I took it too soon and had precipitated withdrawals. <re> <efs>Anyways I’m really down, almost feel like giving up and finding a way to get some dope.<efe>
| 1
| 2
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
suboxone usage
| null | null | null | null | null | true
| 122
|
es406r
|
2 months ago I was sexually assaulted by my now ex-boyfriend
|
1b
|
rant
| 2
|
Both of us are 19. Two months ago sexually assaulted me. I’ve talked about it so much with friends at this point that discussing it has become tiresome and honestly quite triggering. I will not go into detail for this reason, but what occurred is essentially what is known as “stealthing.”
These past months have been the hardest months of my life mentally. This was someone who I really really cared about, who I confided so much in and trusted so much. Somebody who knew how much I’d been hurt before (familial issues mostly) and nonetheless hurt me in one of the worst ways possible.
I only recently broke up with him. My boyfriend was very remorseful after the incident and still is per the last time I spoke to him (I said goodbye to him officially today and that I don’t wish to have contact with him anymore - I have deleted his number and blocked him on all social media). We had been dating for five months and he was really one of my best friends. I know he isn’t a bad person. And I know how much he proclaims to love and care about me. I know he has a conscience. I know he feels absolutely horrible for what he did to me. And that’s also what makes this hard: trying to reconcile a good person with a heinous act.
I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for years now. I will be going to therapy soon and have made an appointment with my doctor to go back on meds (I stopped taking them in the summer).
I just feel absolutely hopeless and terrible. Life has so little colour and I can’t concretely think about the future. I’m in such unimaginable pain and I can’t even properly describe it. Going to class is a chore. Reading is a chore. Getting out of bed is a chore. I have genuinely lost my entire will to live. I fear that it will not get any better. I have lost all hope. I don’t know what to do.
|
francinebeenfrensky
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-22 00:36:47
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>2 months ago I was sexually assaulted by my now ex-boyfriend<ee> <es>Both of us are 19.<ee> <es>Two months ago sexually assaulted me.<ee> <efs>I’ve talked about it so much with friends at this point that discussing it has become tiresome and honestly quite triggering.<efe> <es>I will not go into detail for this reason, but what occurred is essentially what is known as “stealthing.”<ee> <efs>These past months have been the hardest months of my life mentally.<efe> <es>This was someone who I really really cared about, who I confided so much in and trusted so much.<ee> <es>Somebody who knew how much I’d been hurt before (familial issues mostly) and nonetheless hurt me in one of the worst ways possible.<ee> <es>I only recently broke up with him.<ee> <es>My boyfriend was very remorseful after the incident and still is per the last time I spoke to him (I said goodbye to him officially today and that I don’t wish to have contact with him anymore - I have deleted his number and blocked him on all social media).<ee> <es>We had been dating for five months and he was really one of my best friends.<ee> <es>I know he isn’t a bad person.<ee> <es>And I know how much he proclaims to love and care about me.<ee> <es>I know he has a conscience.<ee> <es>I know he feels absolutely horrible for what he did to me.<ee> <es>And that’s also what makes this hard: trying to reconcile a good person with a heinous act.<ee> <es>I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression for years now.<ee> <es>I will be going to therapy soon and have made an appointment with my doctor to go back on meds (I stopped taking them in the summer).<ee> <efs>I just feel absolutely hopeless and terrible.<efe> <efs>Life has so little colour and I can’t concretely think about the future.<efe> <efs>I’m in such unimaginable pain and I can’t even properly describe it.<efe> <efs>Going to class is a chore.<efe> <efs>Reading is a chore.<efe> <efs>Getting out of bed is a chore.<efe> <efs>I have genuinely lost my entire will to live.<efe> <efs>I fear that it will not get any better.<efe> <efs>I have lost all hope.<efe> I don’t know what to do.
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you have lost your hope and will to live
| null | true
| 220
|
eike9z
|
A little over 4 months and each day is getting better. Those going through this hell right now please read for inspiration.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 2
|
I am a little over 4 months sober and the constant headaches aren’t always there. ( I think mine was related to stress) The horrible anxiety, fear, and intrusive thoughts are getting less and less. From how I am today to how I was 2 months ago. I have no idea how I made it through it. It has literally been the worst hell I have been through. To those going through this, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Get on antidepressants or get on some vitamins or herbs. Go to AA and get support.
If you feel as anything is weird with your body get it checked out. For me I could feel the stress headaches and adrenal glands overworking and once I started taking something to help with that it brought me down to a ok level.
My withdrawal took a bad irrational fear deep inside me and made me live that nightmare everyday for 3 months. It has been literal hell but if I can make it through so can all of you. I am not out of the woods yet but I am in a much better place right now .Meditate , do hypnosis, try acupuncture. Get on these forums and look up other online support so you can talk to others and keep your mind busy.
Just never give up because if you don’t think you have anyone I promise you if you message me I will help and talk you through it.
I know some of you are starting this today and you might not go through the post acute withdrawal like I have but if you go through anything again don’t be afraid.
|
saultarus
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-01 16:50:03
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
I am a little over 4 months sober and the constant headaches aren’t always there. ( I think mine was related to stress) The horrible anxiety, fear, and intrusive thoughts are getting less and less. From how I am today to how I was 2 months ago. I have no idea how I made it through it. It has literally been the worst hell I have been through. To those going through this, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Get on antidepressants or get on some vitamins or herbs. Go to AA and get support. If you feel as anything is weird with your body get it checked out. For me I could feel the stress headaches and adrenal glands overworking and once I started taking something to help with that it brought me down to a ok level. My withdrawal took a bad irrational fear deep inside me and made me live that nightmare everyday for 3 months. It has been literal hell but if I can make it through so can all of you. I am not out of the woods yet but I am in a much better place right now .Meditate , do hypnosis, try acupuncture. Get on these forums and look up other online support so you can talk to others and keep your mind busy. Just never give up because if you don’t think you have anyone I promise you if you message me I will help and talk you through it. I know some of you are starting this today and you might not go through the post acute withdrawal like I have but if you go through anything again don’t be afraid.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
eybhgg
|
Miserable human haunted with vengeful thoughts
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I'm a 23 year old male. I was sexually abused by a much older cousin between the ages of 4 and 9. I've already told my family about this even to his parents. I go to therapy once a week. But I still live everyday wanting to murder this piece of garbage. Also he is my neighbour so that is even more sinister for me.
I'm definitely miserable. I think of committing suicide everyday although i would murder my abuser first.
Please i need help. I don't want to self destruct because of my pain.
Love to all
|
aldoushuxley96
| 1
| 0
| 10
|
2020-02-03 18:33:37
|
rapecounseling
|
I'm a 23 year old male. I was sexually abused by a much older cousin between the ages of 4 and 9. I've already told my family about this even to his parents. I go to therapy once a week. But I still live everyday wanting to murder this piece of garbage. Also he is my neighbour so that is even more sinister for me. I'm definitely miserable. I think of committing suicide everyday although i would murder my abuser first. Please i need help. I don't want to self destruct because of my pain. Love to all
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
repeat
| true
| 0
|
eii8uh
|
Strange ways of remembering things
|
0
|
survey
| 2
|
Does anyone else remember things through backtracking? Like if you’re watching a show and you have a certain thought that you forget a few seconds later, do you have to rewind to the part where you first had that thought to remember it? Kind of like when you walk into a room looking for something, forgetting what you’re looking for, and then remembering when you walk back out if that makes sense. It’s like that but most of the time and it’s frustrating when I can’t remember these thoughts, even if they are small and unimportant. Everyone gets upset with me whenever I have to repeat something or constantly go back somewhere. I can’t help that this is how I think and how I remember things, but people still get mad even after I try to explain it to them. It just never makes sense to anyone. I saw in a few comments earlier that this happens to other people with ADHD, so I’m hoping I’ll find more people who have this and/or know how to deal with it. I just want reassurance/solutions I guess.
|
anon23075
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-01 13:16:57
|
ADHD
|
<rs>Does anyone else remember things through backtracking?<re> <es>Like if you’re watching a show and you have a certain thought that you forget a few seconds later, do you have to rewind to the part where you first had that thought to remember it? <ee><es>Kind of like when you walk into a room looking for something, forgetting what you’re looking for, and then remembering when you walk back out if that makes sense.<ee> <efs>It’s like that but most of the time it’s frustrating when I can’t remember these thoughts, even if they are small and unimportant.<efe> <es>Everyone gets upset with me whenever I have to repeat something or constantly go back somewhere.<ee> <es>I can’t help that this is how I think and how I remember things, but people still get mad even after I try to explain it to them.<ee> <es>It just never makes sense to anyone.<ee> <rs>I saw in a few comments earlier that this happens to other people with ADHD, so I’m hoping I’ll find more people who have this and/or know how to deal with it.<re> <rs>I just want reassurance/solutions I guess.<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ep1ovh
|
how do i get over this disconnect from being capable of doing beneficial things?
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I'd really appreciate some insight...I've been depressed most of my life. tried medication but didn't find it helpful. struggled with substance abuse. i notice my automatic negative thoughts. i wake up every day and dread all the responsibilities i know that are going to arise. i know that if i exercised, did yoga, played music, meditated l, etc.... im sure I'd feel better. but how do i get myself to actually DO these things consistently. it's such a struggle to do anything. even things that i enjoy. i just really hope that there's another way besides meds. i feel like if i had more mental fortitude and could tell myself " just do it" but like i said there's some disconnect between knowing that there are constructive things to do, but yet not doing them.
|
agent-of-heaven
| 1
| 0
| 8
|
2020-01-15 12:28:00
|
getting_over_it
|
<rs>I'd really appreciate some insight...<re><es>I've been depressed most of my life.<ee> <es>tried medication but didn't find it helpful.<ee> <es>struggled with substance abuse.<ee> <es>i notice my automatic negative thoughts.<ee> <es>i wake up every day and dread all the responsibilities i know that are going to arise.<ee> <rs>i know that if i exercised, did yoga, played music, meditated l, etc.... im sure I'd feel better.<re> <rs>but how do i get myself to actually DO these things consistently.<re> <es>it's such a struggle to do anything.<ee> <es>even things that i enjoy.<ee> <rs>i just really hope that there's another way besides meds.<re> <efs>i feel like if i had more mental fortitude and could tell myself " just do it" but like i said there's some disconnect between knowing that there are constructive things to do, but yet not doing them.<efe>
| 2
| 1
| 2
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about your situation
| null | null | null | true
| 212
|
eiv8x4
|
I just cut for the first time
|
0
|
rant
| 1
|
I wrote fuck on my wrist
|
SadSkywalker
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-02 07:39:58
|
selfharm
|
<es>I just cut for the first time<ee> <es>I wrote fuck on my wrist<ee>
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you cut yourself
|
How did X make you feel?
|
cutting yourself
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you cut yourself for the first time
| null | true
| 100
|
ezdqkq
|
Pedophiles Should Burn
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
Since I was little I’ve been put into bad situations due to my home life. I’ve always been sexualized by my parents “friends” and even family members. When I turned 14 I got myself into a horrible relationship with a 27 year old man. I am now 18 and still trying to get out of this relationship. He has taken everything from me. We used to sleep on a couch with his friend and I would be used by them and harassed by countless other people coming by the house. I have no self esteem. I’ve been beaten and verbally abused on so many occasions I truly feel like I’ve lost myself. I’ve been exposed to STDs and drug abuse, I feel so filthy and used. I’ve been self harming again and thinking of suicide. You never imagine that you’d be in a position like this, and then you realize it’s your life. No matter how well I carry myself, I end up crying every night knowing this is my life. I need help.
|
lewcifer01
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-02-05 18:15:27
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>Since I was little I’ve been put into bad situations due to my home life.<ee> <es>I’ve always been sexualized by my parents “friends” and even family members.<ee> <es>When I turned 14 I got myself into a horrible relationship with a 27 year old man.<ee> <es>I am now 18 and still trying to get out of this relationship.<ee> <es>He has taken everything from me.<ee> <es>We used to sleep on a couch with his friend and I would be used by them and harassed by countless other people coming by the house.<ee> <efs>I have no self esteem.<efe> <es>I’ve been beaten and verbally abused on so many occasions.<ee> <efs>I truly feel like I’ve lost myself. <efe><es>I’ve been exposed to STDs and drug abuse.<ee> <efs>I feel so filthy and used.<efe> <efs>I’ve been self harming again and thinking of suicide.<efs> <es>You never imagine that you’d be in a position like this, and then you realize it’s your life.<ee> <efs>No matter how well I carry myself, I end up crying every night knowing this is my life.<efe> <rs>I need help.<re>
| 2
| 2
| 1
| null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you get out of the relationship
| null | true
| 221
|
ekjtw3
|
Help or advise, please!
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
I am addicted to pills and have been since I was a teen. I never purchase illegally. I stopped for a long time, but when ever the opportunity arises, like I have a surgery, or my pets are prescribed tramadol I go back into the cycle. I crave the feeling of euphoria. I have had depression and anxiety for a long time, which has somewhat been controlled by SSRIs. However I was just diagnosed with idiopathic Hypersomnia via a sleep test (which was a long time coming and the excessive sleepiness was ruining my life) and need to take stimulants to give me enough energy to have a normal life. In addition, because the stimulant comedown is terrible, I have been given Klonopin to take at night. I will also have another surgery in March which I will need pain meds for. Throughout this process I have been dealing with extreme anxiety. My addiction has made it so I am unable to take the medicine as prescribed and finding I am taking more and more a day to try to reach the euphoric feeling and make my anxiety subside. I need the stimulants to function in life normally. I want to be able to take them normally, I do not want to WANT the “high” feeling. Idk what to do. This is a part of my anxiety too. Anyone have any advice? Or experience with being an addict but needing to take medication for a condition. Please looking for any help.
|
hashtageverythingsux
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-05 22:09:33
|
addiction
|
<es>I am addicted to pills and have been since I was a teen.<ee> I never purchase illegally. <es>I stopped for a long time, but when ever the opportunity arises, like I have a surgery, or my pets are prescribed tramadol I go back into the cycle.<es> <es>I crave the feeling of euphoria.<ee> <es>I have had depression and anxiety for a long time, which has somewhat been controlled by SSRIs.<ee> <es>However I was just diagnosed with idiopathic Hypersomnia via a sleep test (which was a long time coming and the excessive sleepiness was ruining my life) and need to take stimulants to give me enough energy to have a normal life.<ee> <es>In addition, because the stimulant comedown is terrible, I have been given Klonopin to take at night.<ee> <es>I will also have another surgery in March which I will need pain meds for.<ee> <efs>Throughout this process I have been dealing with extreme anxiety.<efe> <es>My addiction has made it so I am unable to take the medicine as prescribed and finding I am taking more and more a day to try to reach the euphoric feeling and make my anxiety subside.<ee> <es>I need the stimulants to function in life normally.<ee> <rs>I want to be able to take them normally, I do not want to WANT the “high” feeling.<re> Idk what to do. <es>This is a part of my anxiety too.<ee> <rs>Anyone have any advice?<re> <rs>Or experience with being an addict but needing to take medication for a condition.<re> <rs>Please looking for any help.<re>
| 2
| 1
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how anxiety makes you feel
| null | null | null | true
| 212
|
eiawpx
|
.. bruh idk what to put lmao
|
1a
|
rant
| 3
|
so basically, ive made this account a secret one for the moment to get some stuff out, please bare with me lmao.
im making this about half an hour before the new year comes in the hopes that maybe 2020 will be the year im actually able to be satisfied with myself, and for others to be nice to me for once.
and anaïs, bro, if you find this {you most likely wont} i love you, you're epic.
so, where to begin.. ah, right.
ever since i started school {im british, so i was just about 5} people have always had a tendency to dislike me, or if they didnt before, they sure as hell were gonna jump on the bandwagon to popularity sooner or later. see, what that means is that if you pretended to dislike and join in on the abuse {verbal, physical, emotional, etc. ive had it all} the popular kids i m m e d i a t e l y liked you. it was a weird thing that went around but, it happened.
ive had it all, from being berated in the classroom only to be defenceless with nothing to say because i cant come up with anything, to having my head be harshly banged into a wall several if-not-more times by someone who i thought maybe liked me {friendship-wise. couldn't d r e a m of having anyone like me romantically. h a.} with an audience laughing, filming, etc. {they didnt even help me when this girl, who, mind you, is 2x the size of me AND younger by almost 8 months, finished with me by stamping on my head whilst i was already unconscious. i had to drag myself, whilst the berating and filmed public humiliation was still happening, to the nurse's office.
they didn't even call my mum, because apparently "once you get to secondary school, it's not a requirement to call the parents" bullshit. my head was bleeding, i had pretty much a concussion and vomited about several times from what i remember. {no wonder they have the worst Offsted record in the country, if youre from England youll most likely know which school im on about}
but yeah. thats one example. i spent only 6 months there, and then i moved to a school the next town over. im doing much better there i guess, but that tendency is still with me, and the whole entire year pretty much hates me except for like, the 20 people that tolerate me. {so, to put that into context, there are more than 1200 students, 5 years, **7 actually, being at the very top of the school as years 12 and 13, but theyre in a separate building** Year 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11.
That's about 150-200 people per year. so less than a twelfth {i think} of people who tolerate me. fantastic.}
but anyway, im what you'd call an over-average student. i get good results on assessments, i {most of the time} can easily put my hand up and give the answer, and i dont talk as much anymore, because according to my family i mouth off a lot. i know for a fact i dont really anymore, but amazingly, the problem is still there. typical.
and not only that, im an art kid. but ive lost my motivation and art style around June/July. so wahey.
im honestly just really upset all the time now, and its actually come on really, r e a l l y quickly for no reason. like, all i think about is how pathetic, ugly and just an overall horrible person i am. i cry myself to sleep and as i do i think about how pathetic it is that im doing it, which makes me cry more. i dont do it anymore because it is pathetic, so i force myself to keep it in. amazing.
im gonna leave it at that because, thats all i can do. im gonna go downstairs now and spend these last few 8 minutes of 2019 with my family, so bye i guess, happy new year
|
mik_mak_dvlmn
| 1
| 0
| 9
|
2019-12-31 23:52:33
|
depression
|
so basically, ive made this account a secret one for the moment to get some stuff out, please bare with me lmao. im making this about half an hour before the new year comes in the hopes that maybe 2020 will be the year im actually able to be satisfied with myself, and for others to be nice to me for once. and anaïs, bro, if you find this {you most likely wont} i love you, you're epic. so, where to begin.. ah, right. <es>ever since i started school {im british, so i was just about 5} people have always had a tendency to dislike me, or if they didnt before, they sure as hell were gonna jump on the bandwagon to popularity sooner or later.<ee> <es>see, what that means is that if you pretended to dislike and join in on the abuse {verbal, physical, emotional, etc. ive had it all} the popular kids i m m e d i a t e l y liked you.<ee> <es>it was a weird thing that went around but, it happened.<ee> <es>ive had it all, from being berated in the classroom only to be defenceless with nothing to say because i cant come up with anything, to having my head be harshly banged into a wall several if-not-more times by someone who i thought maybe liked me {friendship-wise. couldn't d r e a m of having anyone like me romantically. h a.} with an audience laughing, filming, etc.<ee> <es>{they didnt even help me when this girl, who, mind you, is 2x the size of me AND younger by almost 8 months, finished with me by stamping on my head whilst i was already unconscious.<ee> <es>i had to drag myself, whilst the berating and filmed public humiliation was still happening, to the nurse's office. <ee> <es>they didn't even call my mum, because apparently "once you get to secondary school, it's not a requirement to call the parents" bullshit.<ee> <es>my head was bleeding, i had pretty much a concussion and vomited about several times from what i remember.<ee> {no wonder they have the worst Offsted record in the country, if youre from England youll most likely know which school im on about} but yeah. thats one example. i spent only 6 months there, and then i moved to a school the next town over. <es>im doing much better there i guess, but that tendency is still with me, and the whole entire year pretty much hates me except for like, the 20 people that tolerate me.<ee> {so, to put that into context, there are more than 1200 students, 5 years, **7 actually, being at the very top of the school as years 12 and 13, but theyre in a separate building** Year 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11. That's about 150-200 people per year. so less than a twelfth {i think} of people who tolerate me. fantastic.} but anyway, im what you'd call an over-average student. i get good results on assessments, i {most of the time} can easily put my hand up and give the answer, and i dont talk as much anymore, because according to my family i mouth off a lot. i know for a fact i dont really anymore, but amazingly, the problem is still there. typical. and not only that, im an art kid. <es>but ive lost my motivation and art style around June/July.<ee> so wahey. <efs>im honestly just really upset all the time now, and its actually come on really, r e a l l y quickly for no reason.<efe> <efs>like, all i think about is how pathetic, ugly and just an overall horrible person i am.<efe> <efs>i cry myself to sleep and as i do i think about how pathetic it is that im doing it, which makes me cry more.<efe> i dont do it anymore because it is pathetic, so i force myself to keep it in. amazing. im gonna leave it at that because, thats all i can do. im gonna go downstairs now and spend these last few 8 minutes of 2019 with my family, so bye i guess, happy new year
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are so upset and blaming yourself
| null | true
| 220
|
ej93ka
|
I keep thinking I'm faking a mental illness.
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
Or something like that. I read stuff about how bad people have it and it seems so much worse than my situation and that my problems mean nothing and are just basically me making a big deal out of nothing. I don't really know how to explain it except that everybody elses issuses to me are very valid but i think of my own as though they are me being stupid and mean nothing bad at all just a dramatic teenager. Then i remember i have an arm full of scars and other places all over my body because of mental pain and i mean that has to be some kind of validation that I'm not exactly ok. Uhh sorry I'm horrible at explaining but thank you if you read all of this and somewhat understand.
|
Jellyoscar
| 44
| 0
| 16
|
2020-01-03 02:59:54
|
selfharm
|
<es> I keep thinking I'm faking a mental illness. <ee> <es>Or something like that.<ee> <es>I read stuff about how bad people have it and it seems so much worse than my situation and that my problems mean nothing and are just basically me making a big deal out of nothing. <ee><es>I don't really know how to explain it except that everybody elses issuses to me are very valid but i think of my own as though they are me being stupid and mean nothing bad at all just a dramatic teenager.<ee> <es>Then i remember i have an arm full of scars and other places all over my body because of mental pain and i mean that has to be some kind of validation that I'm not exactly ok.<ee> Uhh sorry I'm horrible at explaining but thank you if you read all of this and somewhat understand.
| 2
| 0
| 0
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your mental pain
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you cut yourself due to to mental pain
| null | true
| 200
|
el7km0
|
Begin again.. Choose life .. Tides are turning.. a change is coming..
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
| null |
dat_laffytaff
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-07 06:20:33
|
selfhelp
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 0
|
elt6u4
|
Are you in recovery from alcohol addiction? (UK residents only)
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
Hello everyone,
Happy new year and hope you had a lovely Christmas.
I am still looking for inspirational stories of recovery from alcohol addiction. Thank you to everyone who has already taken part; I am nearly there. This study follows the long-term trajectories of individuals in recovery from alcohol problems. I chose this topic because I am in recovery myself and extremely passionate about it! that's why I went to uni to study psychology.
If you live in the UK and have been in recovery from alcohol problems for at least six months-- I kindly invite you to take part. You can complete the study online, it should take less than 15 minutes and **you could win a £50 Amazon UK voucher.**
# Take part: [https://glos.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/recovery](https://glos.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/recovery)
Thanks for your time!
|
Psychology_Study19
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-08 14:11:19
|
addiction
|
Hello everyone, Happy new year and hope you had a lovely Christmas. I am still looking for inspirational stories of recovery from alcohol addiction. Thank you to everyone who has already taken part; I am nearly there. This study follows the long-term trajectories of individuals in recovery from alcohol problems. I chose this topic because I am in recovery myself and extremely passionate about it! that's why I went to uni to study psychology. If you live in the UK and have been in recovery from alcohol problems for at least six months-- I kindly invite you to take part. You can complete the study online, it should take less than 15 minutes and **you could win a £50 Amazon UK voucher.** # Take part: [https://glos.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/recovery](https://glos.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/recovery) Thanks for your time!
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
en3f0t
|
Choosing the right emotion
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I’m 19 I got kicked out almost 2 years ago because my dad and I both had a hard time choosing the right way to express ourselves. Rather than talking things out logically we’d just choose to be hostile and angry and everything was done to the extreme. Hence telling me to leave. Since then my first thought when ever I feel any discomfort is to say “I want to punch a wall” or I want to break something. Not being able to express myself causes more discomfort because obviously I can’t take my anger out on a wall all the time so I have to bottle it up and hold it in.
|
farumff
| 1
| 0
| 10
|
2020-01-11 05:29:45
|
Anger
|
<es>I’m 19 I got kicked out almost 2 years ago because my dad and I both had a hard time choosing the right way to express ourselves.<ee> <es>Rather than talking things out logically we’d just choose to be hostile and angry and everything was done to the extreme.<ee><es>Hence telling me to leave.<ee> <es>Since then my first thought when ever I feel any discomfort is to say “I want to punch a wall” or I want to break something.<ee> <efs>Not being able to express myself causes more discomfort because obviously I can’t take my anger out on a wall all the time so I have to bottle it up and hold it in.<efe>
| 2
| 1
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
the discomfort you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel discomfort on bottling up anger
| null | true
| 210
|
eio2r6
|
It’s now been 8 years since I quit opiates, cold turkey. I’m 23. Happy new year!
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
Today marks my 8th year clean from opiate painkillers. Hope you’re all having a good and safe holiday!
|
Christiannan
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-01 21:27:58
|
addiction
|
Today marks my 8th year clean from opiate painkillers. Hope you’re all having a good and safe holiday!
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
enesbq
|
2 years today
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
Made it two years today. Was a struggle in the beginning but got easier as I went. Glad to be happier, healthier, and not at risk of making stupid mistakes that hurt myself and others.
|
fst58
| 1
| 0
| 17
|
2020-01-11 22:55:04
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
Made it two years today. Was a struggle in the beginning but got easier as I went. Glad to be happier, healthier, and not at risk of making stupid mistakes that hurt myself and others.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
ej4amu
|
I'm a A bad person.
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I've noticed a lot of things that I do that I've decided I think I'm a bad person. just today I snapped at my boyfriend and called him a dumbass. even after he expressed he was upset about it o didn't apologize. I feel bad but I haven't apologized
I'm currently sitting in the bathroom at work crying .
why do I hate myself at times
|
badluckrat
| 3
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-02 21:06:17
|
mentalillness
|
<efs>I've noticed a lot of things that I do that I've decided I think I'm a bad person.<efe> <es>just today I snapped at my boyfriend and called him a dumbass.<ee> <es>even after he expressed he was upset about it o didn't apologize.<ee> <efs>I feel bad but I haven't apologized<efe> <efs>I'm currently sitting in the bathroom at work crying .<efe> <efs>why do I hate myself at times<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel bad about your actions
| null | true
| 220
|
ew9419
|
im losing hope and feeling emotionally numb
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 3
|
Yes this is where I'm at in my life. I am asking strangers on the internet to cheer me up and give me words of advice. I am 20 years old, married with a 6 month old boy. At face value it would seem that I got my life made. If we pull the curtain back you'll see that I don't have much. I don't have a place of my own, I live with my father in law. I live with my wife and my son. Me and my wife do not get a long at all. It's gotten to the point where I do not think we'll make it but we'll just co-parent. My family hates me, they hate the way I am being taken advantage of and that I'm having to do more than my fair share.
Long story short my wife was living with me at my grandparents (a really nice house) which was very nice, we had a good setup. Life was good for the moment, she didn't want to do anything.. I mean at ALL. My grandparents are old school, you do what needs to be done and you go on from that.. no excuses no bs no mouthing off. They are extremely nice people though. So one day my wife and my grandparents have a falling out because she is being asked to do ANYTHING. I take her side, my family hates me now. I'm in the same situation as before but without any support for me.
I work at a tax software company, 54 hours a week minimum. I come home to a mess that I have to clean up. Everything that needs to be done or cleaned will eventually find it's way back to me. I can't count on anyone but myself. I am depressed with my living enviroment. I am depressed that I haven't left my home town since graduation. I got a 6 month old son who I feel like I can't provide the life I never had (which is always what I wanted to do with my child). I have to watch my friends to great things, got one in the marines doing presidential security in washington DC. I have my other buddy from HS in college working at a airport in raleigh. I understand my shortcoming are my fault. I didn't have a plan after highscool, I was a stoner burnout. Which is all my fault, I wish I had different plans or even any plan for that matter. Now I'm in a predicament where I need to pull myself out of a hole and I don't know how to. I want to go to college.. but HOW? I am the only one working in my relationship, I need money to buy baby food,diapers,car insurance,gas,my food,phone bills (mine and hers) granted I am thankful for her dad being as nice as he is with providing shelter without much to ask from me besides occasional electricity bill help. The house isn't the nicest and coming back to my original point. Anything that needs to be done will be done after me getting off of work, dealing with whatever crap from the wife and cleaning. I feel like I can't go to college because I need money and I can't stop working to pursue a degree and I don't know if a part time job would even do enough. I am also worried about my son being taken care of soley by his mom. I feel like she is more interested in the party have fun life ever since he was born and she has completely changed. I have thought a lot about joining the military (marines preferably) I am getting in shape. Working out at my work provided gym every other morning, pushing weights and running. I just don't know how I could have everything setup before I went to bootcamp though. I don't know if the baby's neccesities will be meet and I don't know if he'll be okay without me being there.
I know I'm ranting and I'll be suprised if anyone actually takes the time to read through this and let a lone give me a reply. But I am helpless I don't know where to go. I feel stuck, ashamed of where I am. Guilty of the poor choices I have made that put me in this position. I don't know where to go.. I can't give up though I got a little man to raise. I don't know if I fucked up so bad I will just have to continue with a toxic relationship in a household that is out of wack till I die. I need help I just dont know where to start looking
|
JKB171211
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-30 17:38:43
|
getting_over_it
|
Yes this is where I'm at in my life. I am asking strangers on the internet to cheer me up and give me words of advice. <es>I am 20 years old, married with a 6 month old boy. At face value it would seem that I got my life made.<ee> <es>If we pull the curtain back you'll see that I don't have much.<ee> <es>I don't have a place of my own, I live with my father in law.<ee> <es>I live with my wife and my son.<ee> <es>Me and my wife do not get a long at all.<ee> <es>It's gotten to the point where I do not think we'll make it but we'll just co-parent.<ee> <es>My family hates me, they hate the way I am being taken advantage of and that I'm having to do more than my fair share.<ee> <es>Long story short my wife was living with me at my grandparents (a really nice house) which was very nice, we had a good setup.<ee> <es>Life was good for the moment, she didn't want to do anything.. I mean at ALL.<ee> <es>My grandparents are old school, you do what needs to be done and you go on from that.. no excuses no bs no mouthing off.<ee> <es>They are extremely nice people though.<ee> <es>So one day my wife and my grandparents have a falling out because she is being asked to do ANYTHING.<ee> <es>I take her side, my family hates me now.<ee> <es>I'm in the same situation as before but without any support for me.<ee> <es>I work at a tax software company, 54 hours a week minimum.<ee> <es>I come home to a mess that I have to clean up.<ee> <es>Everything that needs to be done or cleaned will eventually find it's way back to me.<ee> <es>I can't count on anyone but myself.<ee> <efs>I am depressed with my living environment.<efe> <es>I am depressed that I haven't left my home town since graduation.<ee> <es>I got a 6 month old son who I feel like I can't provide the life I never had (which is always what I wanted to do with my child).<ee> <es>I have to watch my friends to great things, got one in the marines doing presidential security in washington DC.<ee> <es>I have my other buddy from HS in college working at a airport in raleigh.<ee> <es>I understand my shortcoming are my fault.<ee> <es>I didn't have a plan after highscool, I was a stoner burnout.<ee> <es>Which is all my fault, I wish I had different plans or even any plan for that matter.<ee> <rs>Now I'm in a predicament where I need to pull myself out of a hole and I don't know how to.<re> <rs>I want to go to college.. but HOW?<re> <es>I am the only one working in my relationship, I need money to buy baby food,diapers,car insurance,gas,my food,phone bills (mine and hers) granted I am thankful for her dad being as nice as he is with providing shelter without much to ask from me besides occasional electricity bill help.<ee> <es>The house isn't the nicest and coming back to my original point.<ee> <es>Anything that needs to be done will be done after me getting off of work, dealing with whatever crap from the wife and cleaning.<ee> <efs>I feel like I can't go to college because I need money and I can't stop working to pursue a degree and I don't know if a part time job would even do enough.<efe> <efs>I am also worried about my son being taken care of soley by his mom.<efe> <efs>I feel like she is more interested in the party have fun life ever since he was born and she has completely changed.<efe> <es>I have thought a lot about joining the military (marines preferably) I am getting in shape.<ee> <es>Working out at my work provided gym every other morning, pushing weights and running.<ee> <es>I just don't know how I could have everything setup before I went to bootcamp though.<ee> <es>I don't know if the baby's neccesities will be meet and I don't know if he'll be okay without me being there.<ee> I know I'm ranting and I'll be suprised if anyone actually takes the time to read through this and let a lone give me a reply. <efs>But I am helpless I don't know where to go.<efe> <efs>I feel stuck, ashamed of where I am.<efe> <efs>Guilty of the poor choices I have made that put me in this position.<efe> <es>I don't know where to go..<ee> <es>I can't give up though I got a little man to raise.<ee> <es>I don't know if I fucked up so bad I will just have to continue with a toxic relationship in a household that is out of wack till I die.<ee> <rs>I need help I just dont know where to start looking<re>
| 2
| 2
| 1
| null | null | null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you deal with your toxic relationship
| null | true
| 221
|
el5goi
|
UPDATE: still drinking
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I had posted that someone I was close to was drinking too much and the situation was bleak.
Let me provide some background information here. First off, I fully understand that someone with an addiction won't seek or accept help until THEY want it. Secondly the person I was referring to is my wife. Finally here is the current situation: she has lost her job. She really isn't looking for work. Our house is about to go into foreclosure. I'm working 50-60 hours a week with 2 jobs and she is cyber sexting 5? guys??
Upside: I can tap onto my 401K. And she can close her's out. But is that a good idea?
|
denturedude64
| 1
| 0
| 17
|
2020-01-07 03:22:30
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
<es>I had posted that someone I was close to was drinking too much and the situation was bleak. <ee> Let me provide some background information here. <es>First off, I fully understand that someone with an addiction won't seek or accept help until THEY want it.<ee> <es>Secondly the person I was referring to is my wife.<ee> <es>Finally here is the current situation: she has lost her job.<ee> <es>She really isn't looking for work.<ee> <es> Our house is about to go into foreclosure.<ee> <es> I'm working 50-60 hours a week with 2 jobs and she is cyber sexting 5?<ee> <es>guys??<ee> <es>Upside: I can tap onto my 401K.<ee> <es>And she can close her's out.<ee> <rs>But is that a good idea?<re>
| 2
| 0
| 1
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your wife not seeking help for her addiction
| null | null | null | true
| 201
|
ejb4x2
|
do you ever cut *for* the scar?
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
i cut the tops of my shoulders above my collarbones because i like the way the scars look there, and sometimes the backs of my hands as well. i like the look of being kinda perpetually beat up so sometimes i'll bruise/mark myself somewhere visible both as an outlet and because i like the aesthetic.
|
cellophanestyrofoam
| 130
| 0
| 65
|
2020-01-03 05:51:13
|
selfharm
|
<es>i cut the tops of my shoulders above my collarbones because i like the way the scars look there, and sometimes the backs of my hands as well.<ee> <es>i like the look of being kinda perpetually beat up so sometimes i'll bruise/mark myself somewhere visible both as an outlet and because i like the aesthetic.<ee>
| 2
| 0
| 0
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
cutting your tops of the shoulder
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you cut your tops of the shoulders
| null | true
| 200
|
eiv39x
|
some say that love and suffering are the same thing. do you think this is true?
|
0
|
survey
| 1
| null |
CryxianChaos
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-02 07:22:05
|
sad
| null | 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
f1k309
|
Reporting to the police, need advice
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
My sister recently got out of an abusive relationship 2 weeks ago. I brought her to the police station to report it but she didnt really want to at the time so she didnt give many details. She gave pretty much the bare minimum because she didnt want to get him in trouble but also wanted me to be happy with her (she thought I'd be mad if she didnt say anything). Nothing really came of it that day. But now she is finally seeing that her ex was not a good guy and he should be rightfully punished for his actions. She keeps crying and saying she feels stupid for not telling the police everything. The question I need answered is, Can she go back and tell them everything now? We are both really young and without parental or adult guidance so I know my question probably sounds ridiculous, but I've seen movies where the victim cant go back and reveal everything (I know movies dont usually portray real events but the movies are still in my mind). I'm taking her to a domestic abuse help center tomorrow to see what they can help with. I didnt add much info because I dont feel like this post needs it, but if someone needs anymore info to answer I'll add more. Thank you.
|
lame-ass-bitch
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-02-10 03:09:18
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>My sister recently got out of an abusive relationship 2 weeks ago.<ee> <es>I brought her to the police station to report it but she didnt really want to at the time so she didnt give many details.<ee> <es>She gave pretty much the bare minimum because she didnt want to get him in trouble but also wanted me to be happy with her (she thought I'd be mad if she didnt say anything).<ee> <es>Nothing really came of it that day.<ee> <es>But now she is finally seeing that her ex was not a good guy and he should be rightfully punished for his actions.<ee> <es>She keeps crying and saying she feels stupid for not telling the police everything.<ee> <rs>The question I need answered is, Can she go back and tell them everything now?<re> <es>We are both really young and without parental or adult guidance so I know my question probably sounds ridiculous, but I've seen movies where the victim cant go back and reveal everything (I know movies dont usually portray real events but the movies are still in my mind).<ee> <es>I'm taking her to a domestic abuse help center tomorrow to see what they can help with.<ee> I didnt add much info because I dont feel like this post needs it, but if someone needs anymore info to answer I'll add more. Thank you.
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your sister being in an abusive relationship
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
f3kjct
|
I might have been molested?
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I recalled a really weird memory? I was sleeping with my brother (3/4 at the time) in my parents bed. When we woke up at 5/6am both of our pj pants were on the ground and the bed. I have a good memory and have vivid memories of my childhood, so this very much did happen. My mom would have been working late in a bar, my dad would have had his poker buddies over. I always presumed that we had kicked out pants off in the night because it was so warm. This would have been in the spring/Easter holiday in Chicago, so I don't think it would have gotten THAT warm. All I remember was waking up and telling my brother how weird it was that both of us had woken up without our pants on. 2 years ago my mom had asked me if I was ever molested because my Dad's poker buddies were "creepy". I'm feeling sick to my stomach remembering this... And suddenly I think this may have been something more sinister. Do you think I could have been molested? Should I follow up this sketchy memory? Has this happened to anyone else?
|
elite-alien
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-02-14 01:23:13
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>I recalled a really weird memory?<ee> <es>I was sleeping with my brother (3/4 at the time) in my parents bed.<ee> <es>When we woke up at 5/6am both of our pj pants were on the ground and the bed.<ee> <es>I have a good memory and have vivid memories of my childhood, so this very much did happen.<ee> <es>My mom would have been working late in a bar, my dad would have had his poker buddies over.<ee> <es>I always presumed that we had kicked out pants off in the night because it was so warm.<ee> <es>This would have been in the spring/Easter holiday in Chicago, so I don't think it would have gotten THAT warm.<ee> <es>All I remember was waking up and telling my brother how weird it was that both of us had woken up without our pants on.<ee> <es>2 years ago my mom had asked me if I was ever molested because my Dad's poker buddies were "creepy".<ee> <efs>I'm feeling sick to my stomach remembering this...<efe> <es>And suddenly I think this may have been something more sinister.<ee> <rs>Do you think I could have been molested?<re> <rs>Should I follow up this sketchy memory?<re> <rs>Has this happened to anyone else?<re>
| 2
| 1
| 2
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
the incident make you feel
| null | null | null | true
| 212
|
emudus
|
I made it.
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
I've been sober since new years day. And last night I went to the bar and had a good sober time with my freinds. They respected me just ordering pop and I'll admit there was a few times I wanted to order a beer. But I made it out. Day ten in the bag.
|
Darth_Seiruhk
| 1
| 0
| 20
|
2020-01-10 17:44:00
|
alcoholicsanonymous
|
I've been sober since new years day. And last night I went to the bar and had a good sober time with my freinds. They respected me just ordering pop and I'll admit there was a few times I wanted to order a beer. But I made it out. Day ten in the bag.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
f5223o
|
I’m really mad about this:
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
Basically I wanted to get this off my chest, but last night I went on a sub reddit and saw a rather nsfw image of a drawing of an underage girl. It really fucking pissed me off, so I decided to report and also call out the p*** that decided to post dirty remarks at the underage drawing of a girl.
I know it’s just a drawing and obviously the character isn’t real, but for some reason this is still a pet peeve of mine. And I still think it portrays a rather young character. (the character was supposedly 15)
Then after that I got banned from the subreddit for calling out a p***phile. It’s honestly stupid and I don’t see anything wrong with what I did. The rules there are so wrong and I still can’t believe I got banned for doing something humane.
|
weeboloid
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-02-17 03:01:04
|
Anger
|
<es>Basically I wanted to get this off my chest, but last night I went on a sub reddit and saw a rather nsfw image of a drawing of an underage girl.<ee> <efs>It really fucking pissed me off, so I decided to report and also call out the p*** that decided to post dirty remarks at the underage drawing of a girl.<efe> <es>I know it’s just a drawing and obviously the character isn’t real, but for some reason this is still a pet peeve of mine.<ee> And I still think it portrays a rather young character. (the character was supposedly 15) <es>Then after that I got banned from the subreddit for calling out a p***phile.<ee> <es>It’s honestly stupid and I don’t see anything wrong with what I did.<ee> <es>The rules there are so wrong and I still can’t believe I got banned for doing something humane.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel you were wrongly banned from the subredit
| null | true
| 220
|
ekmkpi
|
I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday and I seriously need advice.
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
hi, I’m a 13 year old female and I’ve already cried multiple times today over my doctor appointment in a few days, it’s just a checkup and I was thinking about telling my doctor that I’m 99% sure I have social anxiety but I’m to scared to even do that and the worst part is, my DAD takes me to the doctors and sits with me in the room, I can’t get my mom to take me because she’s stubborn af and there’s so many other reasons why, second of all, the main reason im nervous is because this doctors appointment means I need to be picked up from school and my parents are such clowns that they can’t schedule me being picked up in a normal way, last year I got in trouble for leaving for a dentist appointment because I literally left after class, I was scared to go to the office and after coming back from the doctor I’m gonna have to go back into the school office and get a pass to go to class, i literally want to die right now and my internet friends aren’t helping at all, they say things like “awhh” and “don’t be scared” but it’s not that simple, I’m literally terrified and I’d rather be dead rn, Last year when I had to leave school it was in between classes so I didn’t have to ask a teacher to leave, but this Wednesday I’m scared for that, I’ve asked my mom to pray for me so that I don’t have school on Wednesday because she’s extremely religious and she started saying things like “pray and god will do what’s best for you” and “there will be school on Wednesday anyway” and I literally want to DIE now. I’m so annoyed with my mom because I can’t explain to her that I think I have social anxiety since her English is bad, she doesn’t know what social anxiety is and if she told my dad then he’d probably ask “what’s that!!!” and I feel like I won’t be able to talk to him about it without crying and ps, I have no siblings and no irl friends who won’t give me shitty responses, I can’t fake sick either bfcause at my school you can only miss 2 days and after that if you don’t have a note from a doctor saying you were sick, (which won’t work because I doubt I can get actually sick by Wednesday) then you’ll get sued so I’m screwed for that too, my anxiety would go down so much if I didn’t have school on wednesday.. please can someone give me advice on what to do.. I know I’m probably still gonna be an anxious mess and I want to tell my doctor that I think I have social anxiety but I know it’s impossible, I’m to scared to ask questions and if I’m in class when I need to leave for my appointment and my dad didn’t schedule the pick up thing right (he won’t, I just know it.) then I’m gonna be to afraid to ask the teacher and ps, if I’m in Spanish when I need to leave then I’m basically fucked because my teacher forces you to ask things like “can I go to the office” in Spanish which I’ll probably have to do or something like that and this teacher is a bitch and she makes my anxiety worse.. I know that with my luck I’ll probably still have school on Wednesday but I’m sick of my moms “god will do what’s best for you” bs because if giving me an anxiety attack is the best thing for me, then okay. Anyway does anyone have advice..?
|
throwaway9291929929
| 1
| 0
| 4
|
2020-01-06 01:29:21
|
socialanxiety
|
<es>hi, I’m a 13 year old female and I’ve already cried multiple times today over my doctor appointment in a few days,<ee> <es>it’s just a checkup and I was thinking about telling my doctor that I’m 99% sure I have social anxiety but I’m to scared to even do that and the worst part is, my DAD takes me to the doctors and sits with me in the room,<ee> <es>I can’t get my mom to take me because she’s stubborn af and there’s so many other reasons why,<ee> <es>second of all, the main reason im nervous is because this doctors appointment means I need to be picked up from school and my parents are such clowns that they can’t schedule me being picked up in a normal way,<ee> <es>last year I got in trouble for leaving for a dentist appointment because I literally left after class,<ee> <es>I was scared to go to the office and after coming back from the doctor I’m gonna have to go back into the school office and get a pass to go to class,<ee> <efs>i literally want to die right now and my internet friends aren’t helping at all, they say things like “awhh” and “don’t be scared” but it’s not that simple, I’m literally terrified and I’d rather be dead rn,<efe> <efs>Last year when I had to leave school it was in between classes so I didn’t have to ask a teacher to leave, but this Wednesday I’m scared for that,<efe> I’ve asked my mom to pray for me so that I don’t have school on Wednesday because she’s extremely religious and she started saying things like “pray and god will do what’s best for you” and “there will be school on Wednesday anyway” and I literally want to DIE now. <efs>I’m so annoyed with my mom because I can’t explain to her that I think I have social anxiety since her English is bad, she doesn’t know what social anxiety is and if she told my dad then he’d probably ask “what’s that!!!” and I feel like I won’t be able to talk to him about it without crying and ps,<efe> <es>I have no siblings and no irl friends who won’t give me shitty responses,<ee> <es>I can’t fake sick either bfcause at my school you can only miss 2 days and after that if you don’t have a note from a doctor saying you were sick, (which won’t work because I doubt I can get actually sick by Wednesday) then you’ll get sued so I’m screwed for that too,<ee> my anxiety would go down so much if I didn’t have school on Wednesday.. <rs>please can someone give me advice on what to do..<re> <es>I know I’m probably still gonna be an anxious mess and I want to tell my doctor that I think I have social anxiety but I know it’s impossible,<ee> <es>I’m to scared to ask questions and if I’m in class when I need to leave for my appointment and my dad didn’t schedule the pick up thing right (he won’t, I just know it.) then I’m gonna be to afraid to ask the teacher and ps,<ee> <es>if I’m in Spanish when I need to leave then I’m basically fucked because my teacher forces you to ask things like “can I go to the office” in Spanish which I’ll probably have to do or something like that and this teacher is a bitch and she makes my anxiety worse..<ee> <efs>I know that with my luck I’ll probably still have school on Wednesday but I’m sick of my moms “god will do what’s best for you” bs because if giving me an anxiety attack is the best thing for me, then okay.<efe> <rs>Anyway does anyone have advice..?<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ekhdzr
|
Need Some Advice
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
As a sort of backstory to me I'm 18f and I have severe anxiety, adhd, bpd, and a pretty bad binge eating problem I'm quite sure is binge eating disorder. I am currently not medicated for any of these, I have been going to therapists and very few psychiatrists since I was 11\~12 years old with not much success. I'm now currently in a dilemma where I have no idea how to find a psychiatrist for myself, even with the bit of information my therapist gave me for psychiatrists who accept my insurance none of the psychiatrists called back or had completely different numbers that me and my mother couldn't find. Its been months since we initially started the search for a new psychiatrist (I haven't had one since I was like 13 or 14) and I have a reasonable suspicion my mother has not been looking. I don't particularly blame her as her father (my grandfather) died last year and she is the only working person in the house so shes incredibly busy, but as I have many problems (all not medicated), its getting extremely more and more distressing for me due to my anxiety. I've tried to take L theanine supplements to make me a bit more calm but my anxiety doesn't respond in any noticeable way to regular dosages of it. I was wondering how I would go about finding a psychiatrist near me, I've tried to google search and I just cannot seem to be able to find one that way.
I also was wondering if in sessions with a psychiatrist it is acceptable to ask for certain medications within reason. I have been given so many SSRIs for my anxiety and all that class of drugs has ever done is make my anxiety even worse. As background my anxiety eventually got to the point I had to drop out of high school and I'm mildly agoraphobic. I have wanted a medication such as Xanax or Klonopin to treat this and the doctors continuously give me SSRIs which I just sadly have no more hope in. If I ask for these medications will the doctor think badly of me? I have no previous substance abuse problems, I'm just severely worried if I ask for something like this that the doctor will just say no and never give me anything of the sort or put me down as someone that should never be given medications like that and think badly of me. I know its a bit out there to think but I really don't know.
&#x200B;
TL;DR- What is the best way to find a good psychiatrist and is it okay to ask psychiatrists for certain medications if you believe they will help you?
|
grimbarkzz
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-05 19:06:07
|
mentalillness
|
<es>As a sort of backstory to me I'm 18f and I have severe anxiety, adhd, bpd, and a pretty bad binge eating problem I'm quite sure is binge eating disorder.<ee> <es>I am currently not medicated for any of these, I have been going to therapists and very few psychiatrists since I was 11\~12 years old with not much success.<ee> <rs>I'm now currently in a dilemma where I have no idea how to find a psychiatrist for myself, even with the bit of information my therapist gave me for psychiatrists who accept my insurance none of the psychiatrists called back or had completely different numbers that me and my mother couldn't find.<re> <es>Its been months since we initially started the search for a new psychiatrist (I haven't had one since I was like 13 or 14) and I have a reasonable suspicion my mother has not been looking.<ee> <es><efs>I don't particularly blame her as her father (my grandfather) died last year and she is the only working person in the house so shes incredibly busy, but as I have many problems (all not medicated), its getting extremely more and more distressing for me due to my anxiety.<efe><ee> <es>I've tried to take L theanine supplements to make me a bit more calm but my anxiety doesn't respond in any noticeable way to regular dosages of it.<ee> <rs>I was wondering how I would go about finding a psychiatrist near me, I've tried to google search and I just cannot seem to be able to find one that way.<re> <rs>I also was wondering if in sessions with a psychiatrist it is acceptable to ask for certain medications within reason.<re> I have been given so many SSRIs for my anxiety and all that class of drugs has ever done is make my anxiety even worse. <es>As background my anxiety eventually got to the point I had to drop out of high school and I'm mildly agoraphobic.<ee> I have wanted a medication such as Xanax or Klonopin to treat this and the doctors continuously give me SSRIs which I just sadly have no more hope in. If I ask for these medications will the doctor think badly of me? I have no previous substance abuse problems, I'm just severely worried if I ask for something like this that the doctor will just say no and never give me anything of the sort or put me down as someone that should never be given medications like that and think badly of me. I know its a bit out there to think but I really don't know. &#x200B; <rs>TL;DR- What is the best way to find a good psychiatrist and is it okay to ask psychiatrists for certain medications if you believe they will help you?<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
your anxiety
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
exwaad
|
What happened to mee
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
At first I didn't think of it as rape for some reason. It was my ex bfs friend / someone I thought was my friend, a guy whose house people went to a lot to party and hang out. It was the summer after the first year of college, I ended up hanging out at his house one night and it ended up just me and him and before I knew it his hands were all over mee and he was saying things like 'we're both single now' and 'it's just you and me' and when I tried to get him to stop (by trying to fight his hands, kicking him, and telling him No and stop and saying I didn't want to hook up several times) he argued with me, got more and more forceful/rough/mean and before I knew It he had his dick out and it was really big. The biggest in had ever seen. And I was really scared.
That's all. I really wanna share for now. But. Thanks for listening if you read all this. -Maddie
|
maddiej2000
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-02-02 22:12:54
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>At first I didn't think of it as rape for some reason.<ee> <es>It was my ex bfs friend / someone I thought was my friend, a guy whose house people went to a lot to party and hang out.<ee> <es> It was the summer after the first year of college, I ended up hanging out at his house one night and it ended up just me and him and before I knew it his hands were all over mee and he was saying things like 'we're both single now' and 'it's just you and me' and when I tried to get him to stop (by trying to fight his hands, kicking him, and telling him No and stop and saying I didn't want to hook up several times) he argued with me, got more and more forceful/rough/mean and before I knew It he had his dick out and it was really big.<ee> <es>The biggest in had ever seen.<ee> <efs>And I was really scared. <efe> That's all. I really wanna share for now. But. Thanks for listening if you read all this. -Maddie
| 2
| 1
| 0
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how did the incident make you feel
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your ex bfs friend took advantage of you
| null | true
| 210
|
emdjcq
|
One month today :D
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
Last time I had a month clean was about 16 months ago... I feel good. No matter how bad I feel, a part of me always feels thankful to be sober.
I remember on those first couple days I thought, “‘maybe sobriety isn’t for me”. For all you struggling, it’s fucked up how hard it is. But my advice to you is try something different until you get it! I believe in all of you.
I finally stopped trying on my own, admitted I was powerless and checked myself into rehab for 28 days. My family finding out was the most important thing in my recovery. I have all their support and that kind of stuff helps tremendously. The more support, the better you will feel, I promise!
God speed . . .
|
_crayton
| 1
| 0
| 9
|
2020-01-09 18:15:05
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
Last time I had a month clean was about 16 months ago... I feel good. No matter how bad I feel, a part of me always feels thankful to be sober. I remember on those first couple days I thought, “‘maybe sobriety isn’t for me”. For all you struggling, it’s fucked up how hard it is. But my advice to you is try something different until you get it! I believe in all of you. I finally stopped trying on my own, admitted I was powerless and checked myself into rehab for 28 days. My family finding out was the most important thing in my recovery. I have all their support and that kind of stuff helps tremendously. The more support, the better you will feel, I promise! God speed . . .
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
eltie7
|
Can’t cry anymore & don’t feel the weight of the trauma. Am I finally healing??
|
0
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I have not cried for weeks when something triggers my memories. I don’t feel it anymore or something. I usually break down every other day & just sob until I can’t anymore. Is this part of healing or am I gonna get blindsided again one day?
|
OnTheWingsOfAPhoenix
| 1
| 0
| 6
|
2020-01-08 14:37:57
|
ptsd
|
<es>I have not cried for weeks when something triggers my memories.<ee> <efs>I don’t feel it anymore or something.<efe> I usually break down every other day & just sob until I can’t anymore. Is this part of healing or am I gonna get blindsided again one day?
| 1
| 2
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
your trauma
| null | null | null | null | null | true
| 122
|
emmlyi
|
Is it ok to be selfish and do what makes me comfortable and happy eventhough others dont agree? Like I'm not harming my self or putting myself in danger I just want to do what I want because it makes me happy.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I have a problem with always caring about what others think of me and to be honest I'm over it. Too much worry and stress. I'm so over it to the point that I want to change my mindset from people pleaser to Me pleaser. Pls help, advice or suggestions, opinions....thanks for reading this.
|
Kimxoz
| 1
| 0
| 10
|
2020-01-10 05:40:17
|
selfhelp
|
<rs>Is it ok to be selfish and do what makes me comfortable and happy eventhough others dont agree?<re> <rs>Like I'm not harming my self or putting myself in danger I just want to do what I want because it makes me happy.<re> <es>I have a problem with always caring about what others think of me and to be honest I'm over it.<ee> <efs>Too much worry and stress.<efe> <rs>I'm so over it to the point that I want to change my mindset from people pleaser to Me pleaser.<re> <rs>Pls help, advice or suggestions, opinions....thanks for reading this.<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ekd8qr
|
Close Friend OD’d On Heroin Last Night
|
0
|
rant
| 1
|
She didn’t make it. Her daughter texted me letting me know she found her dead. Addiction I hate you for taking everything from her. That’s all.
|
bigfredtj
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-01-05 13:50:40
|
addiction
|
<es>Close Friend OD’d On Heroin Last Night<ee> <es>She didn’t make it.<ee> <es>Her daughter texted me letting me know she found her dead.<ee> <efs>Addiction I hate you for taking everything from her.<efe> That’s all.
| 2
| 1
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how you feel about the incident
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are upset about the incident
| null | true
| 210
|
eib9sw
|
thank you
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
i’m not the best at this so this may come off as weird, but i barely know any of you but we feel as if we really look out for each other. it’s nice to know that others are going through the same issues and we can help each other to continue our fight. here’s to the new year everyone.
|
CeeJayTW
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-01 00:21:14
|
depression
|
i’m not the best at this so this may come off as weird, but i barely know any of you but we feel as if we really look out for each other. it’s nice to know that others are going through the same issues and we can help each other to continue our fight. here’s to the new year everyone.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
positive
| true
| 0
|
elnnrq
|
I feel so empty and alone please help.
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I usually don't say this stuff out loud, but I'm asking for help. Lately, I have just felt so lonely. I just have that feeling where I'm num and don't want to do anything. I check on my friends a lot, and they say they're OK, and I'm a good friend, but it doesn't give me a smile I used to get.
My family and I are separated, so talk with them is nearly impossible. I've tried volunteering and talking to new people. I don't get a thrill of anything. Life, for me, is just a constant repeat; work, come home, and sleep. I don't have a lot of money, so I can't take a vacation nor try something seriously new.
The only time I feel not like this is when I'm writing stories or editing them.
If you're still reading this, I ask for advice or tips. What are some things I can do to help myself because I'm so confused, and don't see this ending. I want to break this cycle because it's effecting me, but I don't know how.
|
clamb1998
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-01-08 04:28:53
|
selfhelp
|
<rs>I usually don't say this stuff out loud, but I'm asking for help.<re> <efs>Lately, I have just felt so lonely.<efe> <efs>I just have that feeling where I'm num and don't want to do anything.<efe> <es>I check on my friends a lot, and they say they're OK, and I'm a good friend, but it doesn't give me a smile I used to get. <ee> <es>My family and I are separated, so talk with them is nearly impossible.<ee> <es>I've tried volunteering and talking to new people.<ee> <es>I don't get a thrill of anything.<ee> <es>Life, for me, is just a constant repeat; work, come home, and sleep.<ee> <es>I don't have a lot of money, so I can't take a vacation nor try something seriously new. <ee> <efs>The only time I feel not like this is when I'm writing stories or editing them. <efe> <rs>If you're still reading this, I ask for advice or tips.<re> <rs>What are some things I can do to help myself because I'm so confused, and don't see this ending.<re> <rs>I want to break this cycle because it's effecting me, but I don't know how.<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
es631u
|
Issues with female friendships & jealousy [F, 24]
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I have a hard time making friends with other girls. I have a mix of emotions that swarm me when meeting new girls. I feel anxious, intimidated, scared, jealous, petty, sad. I feel like everything BUT myself.
As a women, I think girls should stick together! I love seeing women excel and do cool shit, but I get so jealous when it comes to letting new women in my life.
Im the type of girl that’s great friends with all of my boyfriend’s friends, but when it comes to their girlfriends.... I just can’t connect, can’t be myself, or let my guard down.
I don’t want to feel like this! I want to feel excited and not threatened that another girl is similar to me or enjoys the same things that I do.
I’d really appreciate it if anyone could recommend any self-help books on this matter.
|
zombiecabbage
| 1
| 0
| 6
|
2020-01-22 03:23:51
|
selfhelp
|
<es>I have a hard time making friends with other girls.<ee> <es>I have a mix of emotions that swarm me when meeting new girls.<ee> <efs>I feel anxious, intimidated, scared, jealous, petty, sad.<efe> <efs>I feel like everything BUT myself. <efe> <es>As a women, I think girls should stick together!<ee> <es>I love seeing women excel and do cool shit, but I get so jealous when it comes to letting new women in my life.<ee> <es>Im the type of girl that’s great friends with all of my boyfriend’s friends, but when it comes to their girlfriends.... I just can’t connect, can’t be myself, or let my guard down. <ee> <rs>I don’t want to feel like this!<re> <rs>I want to feel excited and not threatened that another girl is similar to me or enjoys the same things that I do.<re> <rs>I’d really appreciate it if anyone could recommend any self-help books on this matter.<re>
| 1
| 2
| 2
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why you feel the negative emotions on meeting other girls
| null | null | null | null | null | true
| 122
|
eiyknk
|
Is it just me or does anyone else hate the healing process for deeper cuts and just want them to heal tf up already?
|
1a
|
survey
| 1
|
I've had this cut for nearly 3 weeks and it's not healed yet ughhhh
Also I relapsed on New Year's Day so that's fun but I didn't make it my resolution so stop so its ok haha
|
throwa2772
| 1
| 0
| 8
|
2020-01-02 14:01:18
|
selfharm
|
<efs>Is it just me or does anyone else hate the healing process for deeper cuts and just want them to heal tf up already?<efe> <es>I've had this cut for nearly 3 weeks and it's not healed yet ughhhh<ee> <es>Also I relapsed on New Year's Day so that's fun but I didn't make it my resolution so stop so its ok haha<ee>
| 1
| 2
| 0
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
why do you hate the healing process
| null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you relapsed on New Year's day
| null | true
| 120
|
eiohm3
|
I read my way out of addiction and into a master's degree
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
“I read my way out of addiction and into a master’s degree.” by Karyn Dowdall https://link.medium.com/HRMigah8T2
|
karynlackey
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-01 21:59:21
|
addiction
|
“I read my way out of addiction and into a master’s degree.” by Karyn Dowdall https://link.medium.com/HRMigah8T2
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
ei7ept
|
I swear I'm going to kill myself
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
My freinds over and my mum keeps saying to me how hes doing something better and he's going along with it and rubbing it in my face. I think I'm just a waste of space for her why am'i even here.
|
barnstormer6
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2019-12-31 19:17:06
|
selfharm
|
<efs>I swear I'm going to kill myself<efe> <es>My freinds over and my mum keeps saying to me how hes doing something better and he's going along with it and rubbing it in my face.<ee> <efs>I think I'm just a waste of space for her why am'i even here.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel upset about being compared with your friends
| null | true
| 220
|
eo95dh
|
My Wife Needs Help
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 3
|
Hi Reddit,
This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I am desperate and looking for some help in identifying what mental illness/disorder my wife (34 F) might be suffering from and how to best help her. I believe it is some sort of anxiety disorder. The best way I can explain what happens is that she gets these spells (sorry not sure if that is the right term to be using) where she appears to be drunk. Her speech becomes slowed/slurred, her eyes shift around and loose focus, she becomes unsteady, belligerent and very combative/defensive, and her judgement is severely impaired. I believe this is brought on by a buildup of stress or a particularly stressful incident that happens during the day and leads to a spell. We are both under a lot of stress lately. There is a lot of turmoil with her immediate family, we have a toddler who is having some very challenging behavioral issues, our marriage is in jeopardy, and she just lost her job a couple of weeks ago. She is also not getting much sleep. So needless to say she's having a rough time, as anyone would.
&#x200B;
I believe this all started when our son was born. He is 3 now. It was a very difficult pregnancy and was an extremely stressful time for her. Since he was born, our son has had constant issues (feeding, sleeping, developmental, behavioral, etc.). And while we love him more than anything it has been a very stressful few years for my wife and I.
&#x200B;
A little over a year ago when these spells became more frequent and pronounced, I gave her an ultimatum and she agreed to go to a women's clinic. She was prescribed lexipro and a sleep aid. They seemed to work at first but don't seem to be helping anymore. I have asked her to follow up to try a different medication but she is very resistant to my suggestions.
&#x200B;
We are currently seeing a therapist but she has a very hard time being honest with the counselor about the seriousness of her issues. I'm not sure if it is deliberate or if she is in denial as to what is truly going on and how bad it has gotten. It is very difficult for me to talk with her about my concerns because she gets very defensive and tries to shift the focus on me and/or blame me for the problems we are facing. I am also not without my issues. I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and have a bad temper which is a lot for my wife to deal with and only adds to her stress. Many times I make the situation worse by getting angry at her when she has these spells. I need to work on being more supportive but it is very hard to do that when she denies the seriousness of what is going on. I have tried a more gentle approach when expressing my concerns and sometimes she does let her guard down and admit she needs help. But that doesn't last long and then we get back into the same old routine.
&#x200B;
So I guess I am looking for some insight/suggestions on how to proceed. The situation is very dire. She is now home full-time with our son but I worry about her ability to take care of him. She has been engaging in some very destructive behavior (abusing alcohol, purging). I have found hidden liquor bottles around the house, some in spaces where our son could get to them. Just a few month ago she totaled her car during what I'm sure was one of these spells. Thankfully she was not injured and our son was not in the car. I've entertained the idea of a sort of intervention but knowing her I don't think that would go over well. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.
|
TurdJFerguson
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-13 19:46:41
|
mentalillness
|
Hi Reddit, This is a throwaway account for obvious reasons. <rs>I am desperate and looking for some help in identifying what mental illness/disorder my wife (34 F) might be suffering from and how to best help her.<re> <es>I believe it is some sort of anxiety disorder.<ee> <es>The best way I can explain what happens is that she gets these spells (sorry not sure if that is the right term to be using) where she appears to be drunk.<ee> <es>Her speech becomes slowed/slurred, her eyes shift around and loose focus, she becomes unsteady, belligerent and very combative/defensive, and her judgement is severely impaired.<ee> <es>I believe this is brought on by a buildup of stress or a particularly stressful incident that happens during the day and leads to a spell.<ee> We are both under a lot of stress lately. <es>There is a lot of turmoil with her immediate family, we have a toddler who is having some very challenging behavioral issues, our marriage is in jeopardy, and she just lost her job a couple of weeks ago.<ee> <es>She is also not getting much sleep.<ee> So needless to say she's having a rough time, as anyone would. &#x200B; <es>I believe this all started when our son was born.<ee> He is 3 now. <es>It was a very difficult pregnancy and was an extremely stressful time for her.<ee> <es>Since he was born, our son has had constant issues (feeding, sleeping, developmental, behavioral, etc.).<ee> <es>And while we love him more than anything it has been a very stressful few years for my wife and I.<ee> &#x200B; <es>A little over a year ago when these spells became more frequent and pronounced, I gave her an ultimatum and she agreed to go to a women's clinic.<ee> She was prescribed lexipro and a sleep aid. They seemed to work at first but don't seem to be helping anymore. I have asked her to follow up to try a different medication but she is very resistant to my suggestions. &#x200B; <es>We are currently seeing a therapist but she has a very hard time being honest with the counselor about the seriousness of her issues.<ee> <es>I'm not sure if it is deliberate or if she is in denial as to what is truly going on and how bad it has gotten.<ee> <es>It is very difficult for me to talk with her about my concerns because she gets very defensive and tries to shift the focus on me and/or blame me for the problems we are facing.<ee> I am also not without my issues. <es>I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and have a bad temper which is a lot for my wife to deal with and only adds to her stress.<ee> <es>Many times I make the situation worse by getting angry at her when she has these spells.<ee> I need to work on being more supportive but it is very hard to do that when she denies the seriousness of what is going on. I have tried a more gentle approach when expressing my concerns and sometimes she does let her guard down and admit she needs help. But that doesn't last long and then we get back into the same old routine. &#x200B; <rs>So I guess I am looking for some insight/suggestions on how to proceed.<re> The situation is very dire. <efs>She is now home full-time with our son but I worry about her ability to take care of him.<efe> <es>She has been engaging in some very destructive behavior (abusing alcohol, purging). I have found hidden liquor bottles around the house, some in spaces where our son could get to them.<ee> <es>Just a few month ago she totaled her car during what I'm sure was one of these spells.<ee> Thankfully she was not injured and our son was not in the car. I've entertained the idea of a sort of intervention but knowing her I don't think that would go over well. <rs>Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.<re>
| 2
| 1
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
how your wife feels about her situation
| null | null | null | true
| 212
|
elon9b
|
Understanding Your Loved One's Addiction: 7 Insights - Video
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
"Understanding Your Loved One's Addiction: 7 Insights", is Dr. John's latest topic in the "Shooting Up in the Dark" series. It is for anyone interested in addiction, but particularly those who want to better understand the experience a person addicted to opioids goes through.
Web link:
https://youtu.be/vHNQXpmCkNY
Feedback welcome.
John Bray-Morris M.D.
|
JohnBray-MorrisMD
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-08 05:58:08
|
addiction
|
"Understanding Your Loved One's Addiction: 7 Insights", is Dr. John's latest topic in the "Shooting Up in the Dark" series. It is for anyone interested in addiction, but particularly those who want to better understand the experience a person addicted to opioids goes through. Web link: https://youtu.be/vHNQXpmCkNY Feedback welcome. John Bray-Morris M.D.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
f3tmrk
|
Impulse anger and stress (trigger warning)
|
1a
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
Im gonna save my rant for another subreddit but. But has anyone ever had that stress build up for weeks and until one day that stress came out as anger? I had that today. I was not totally angry like usual but I jist got ticked then I cried afterwards. I used to self harm hard and I cut or ounch the walls till my fists bleed.
BUT that was in the past. I resorted to destroying my belongings. It was pretty bad because It's not my item this time and I just fucking hated it. It was not a one time thing this has always been a thing for me.
I really wish Im off to hurting myself to release the stress or anger than to doing this things that my family sees. Im already a burden and they have another burden on replacing that item (it was expensive).
My questions
-Has anyone ever taken meds for their anger issues? ( Antidepressants?). I am really considering since anger has been my struggle for a long time now. And no. Therapy wont help since I tried going once or twice.
|
nofuture2020
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-02-14 15:21:19
|
Anger
|
Im gonna save my rant for another subreddit but. <es>But has anyone ever had that stress build up for weeks and until one day that stress came out as anger?<ee> <es>I had that today.<ee> <es>I was not totally angry like usual but I jist got ticked then I cried afterwards.<ee> <es>I used to self harm hard and I cut or ounch the walls till my fists bleed.<ee> BUT that was in the past. <es>I resorted to destroying my belongings.<ee> <es>It was pretty bad because It's not my item this time and I just fucking hated it.<ee> <es>It was not a one time thing this has always been a thing for me. <ee> I really wish Im off to hurting myself to release the stress or anger than to doing this things that my family sees. Im already a burden and they have another burden on replacing that item (it was expensive). My questions <rs>-Has anyone ever taken meds for their anger issues? ( Antidepressants?).<re> <es>I am really considering since anger has been my struggle for a long time now.<ee> And no. <es>Therapy wont help since I tried going once or twice.<ee>
| 2
| 0
| 2
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null |
How did X make you feel?
|
destroying the thing in anger
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
ej0q6w
|
Junk food & sugar vs Clean eating
|
1a
|
survey
| 1
|
DAE hates their body weight and want to lose some and wants to resolve hair & skin issues but can’t because they eat loads of junk & sugar in destructive mode but also wants to and tries to eat clean? :( I want to stick to walking for 1 hr daily and cutting off sugar + junk food & I also want to sleep early wakeup early but I cant & I just do not trust my self 🥺🥺🥺
|
hibaaamir
| 1
| 0
| 10
|
2020-01-02 16:55:52
|
BPD
|
<es>DAE hates their body weight and want to lose some and wants to resolve hair & skin issues but can’t because they eat loads of junk & sugar in destructive mode but also wants to and tries to eat clean? :(<ee> <es>I want to stick to walking for 1 hr daily and cutting off sugar + junk food & I also want to sleep early wakeup early but I cant & I just do not trust my self <ee>
| 2
| 0
| 0
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
eating junk food
|
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you are unable to eat clean
| null | true
| 200
|
ejpevd
|
For me, it is about attention *TW*
|
0
|
rant
| 1
|
I realize this is NOT how it is for most people, and I often snap out of this thinking afterward and do my best to hide what I've done.
But, in the moment, I just keep thinking that I want someone to see how much pain I'm in. I want someone to help me, to tell me it's going to be ok, to give me a hug and to check up on me, ask when the last tome I had a healthy meal of a glass of water was. In the moment, I just want someone to care about me like I've care for others all my life.
And I love to admire my scars. When I'm alone, I like to reveal my skin and just look at them. "The pain is real", I think to myself, and it makes me feel ok.
I'm sorry I'm so sick.
|
DonutVeins
| 44
| 0
| 20
|
2020-01-04 01:31:55
|
selfharm
|
<es>For me, it is about attention<ee> <es>I realize this is NOT how it is for most people, and I often snap out of this thinking afterward and do my best to hide what I've done.<ee> <es>But, in the moment, I just keep thinking that I want someone to see how much pain I'm in.<ee> <es>I want someone to help me, to tell me it's going to be ok, to give me a hug and to check up on me, ask when the last tome I had a healthy meal of a glass of water was.<ee> <es>In the moment, I just want someone to care about me like I've care for others all my life.<ee> <es>And I love to admire my scars.<ee> <es>When I'm alone, I like to reveal my skin and just look at them.<ee> <efs>"The pain is real", I think to myself, and it makes me feel ok.<efe> <efs>I'm sorry I'm so sick.<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you do self harm just to get attention
| null | true
| 220
|
ek58az
|
Nightmares and Anxiety About Returning to Work.
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
More and more nightmares. My dog has been nuzzling my hand to wake me up. She still sleeps with my spouse, but I guess she gets up to come check on me in the living room. We picked up a pup who was being trained to be a service animal, but she’s too timid around loud noises. We weren’t meaning to, but a family member called and said she wasn’t going to cut it. She’s such a good smart dog. It makes me happy that be taking care of her. I’m hoping she will sleep with me. I miss sleeping with someone. But at least I’m sleeping.
I also made the decision to transition back to the office building since they had let me work from home. I’ll be working from home as needed from now on but ugh. My flashbacks are better now that I am sleeping, but I still startle. I hope life gets back to normal quickly.
|
deeplynugget
| 2
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-05 00:33:17
|
rapecounseling
|
<es>More and more nightmares.<ee> <es>My dog has been nuzzling my hand to wake me up.<ee> <es>She still sleeps with my spouse, but I guess she gets up to come check on me in the living room.<ee> <es>We picked up a pup who was being trained to be a service animal, but she’s too timid around loud noises.<ee> <es>We weren’t meaning to, but a family member called and said she wasn’t going to cut it.<ee> <es>She’s such a good smart dog.<ee> <es>It makes me happy that be taking care of her.<ee> I’m hoping she will sleep with me. <efs>I miss sleeping with someone.<efe> But at least I’m sleeping. <es>I also made the decision to transition back to the office building since they had let me work from home.<ee> <es>I’ll be working from home as needed from now on but ugh.<ee> <es>My flashbacks are better now that I am sleeping, but I still startle.<ee> <rs>I hope life gets back to normal quickly.<re>
| 1
| 2
| 1
|
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what caused the nightmares
| null | null |
Can you elaborate more on X ?
|
what would help you sleep without nightmares
| null | true
| 121
|
eiol87
|
Why does the loved ones subreddit paint us as a bunch of monsters?
|
1b
|
rant
| 1
|
I just scrolled through that sub and it's heartbreaking. I feel for all of the people posting on it who have been hurt/abused by people with BPD but who do they have to overgeneralizing the whole disorder based on the actions of their so/ex-so?
|
Johnmayer69420
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-01 22:06:36
|
BPD
|
I just scrolled through that sub and it's heartbreaking. I feel for all of the people posting on it who have been hurt/abused by people with BPD but who do they have to overgeneralizing the whole disorder based on the actions of their so/ex-so?
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
ep783v
|
.......
|
0
|
rant
| 1
|
Just do it... Just flush your life down the toilet! Then 2 weeks later cry like a little girl because youve ran out of "dope", or you can get up on your fucking feet, stand tall, and tell yourself, lets go get this fuck. The choice is yours.
|
Mcoyle777
| 1
| 0
| 3
|
2020-01-15 19:43:19
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
Just do it... Just flush your life down the toilet! Then 2 weeks later cry like a little girl because youve ran out of "dope", or you can get up on your fucking feet, stand tall, and tell yourself, lets go get this fuck. The choice is yours.
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
f00oow
|
I need help...
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 1
|
I have been out of an abusive relationship since December. But I feel like it isn’t over. He is still calling me. I blocked his number but Apple shows blocked voice mails still. There are 37 from this week alone. He is making fake numbers to text me. He is saying he will kill himself. And that I ruined his life by leaving. He says he will put my nudes online, too. What can I do? I have screen shots, voice mails, call recordings and a voice recording of him being abusive. Is this enough for a restraining order? Can someone please help me find out what I need to do. I tried calling the police and they didn’t even listen to what was going on. They asked for my address and were gonna send someone here. But he doesn’t even live in the same state. I am so scared. He says his blood is on my hands. I’m horrified. Can anybody help me? I just want to move on with my life and be happy. But he won’t let me. He keeps telling me I killed him. But I was so tired of the abuse. He harasses me and my boyfriend over text messages. Yes we save it all so we can prove he is crazy. Someone please help me.
|
repressedemochild
| 1
| 0
| 7
|
2020-02-06 22:49:46
|
domesticviolence
|
<es>I have been out of an abusive relationship since December.<ee> <efs>But I feel like it isn’t over.<efe> <es>He is still calling me.<ee> <es>I blocked his number but Apple shows blocked voice mails still.<ee> <es>There are 37 from this week alone.<ee> <es>He is making fake numbers to text me.<ee> <es>He is saying he will kill himself.<ee> <es>And that I ruined his life by leaving.<ee> <es>He says he will put my nudes online, too.<ee> <rs>What can I do?<re> <es>I have screen shots, voice mails, call recordings and a voice recording of him being abusive.<ee> <rs>Is this enough for a restraining order?<re> <rs>Can someone please help me find out what I need to do.<re> <es>I tried calling the police and they didn’t even listen to what was going on.<ee> <es>They asked for my address and were gonna send someone here.<ee> <es>But he doesn’t even live in the same state.<ee> <efs>I am so scared.<efe> <es>He says his blood is on my hands.<ee> <efs>I’m horrified.<efe> <rs>Can anybody help me?<re> <rs>I just want to move on with my life and be happy.<re> <es>But he won’t let me.<ee> <es>He keeps telling me I killed him.<ee> <efs>But I was so tired of the abuse.<efe> <es>He harasses me and my boyfriend over text messages.<ee> <es>Yes we save it all so we can prove he is crazy.<ee> <rs>Someone please help me.<re>
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
exdh6g
|
Advice for starting
|
1b
|
help-seeking
| 2
|
Potential trigger warning, I gave some vague details about my trauma. Not sure if it's considered triggering, but just wanted to give anyone reading a heads up. I'm new to this sub.
Hi everyone, I've been skimming around and really appreciate some of the love and support you all give. A few weeks ago I told my therapist about my past experiences and how they affect me. Without going into details, I was coerced at a young age to have multiple, repeated sexual encounters with someone who was not an adult but significantly older than me. I've never known what to call it because it's a grey area (to me) and I'm not sure what to call it. My boyfriend says I was groomed but I'm not sure if I don't agree or am in denial about it.
Lately, a lot of stuff has been kind of numb to me. Since I started talking about it, I've been having intense moments of depression, I've been angry in situations that I'm normally not, and I just want to give up on treatment (which I've never done in my three years of therapy). I'm not sure if this is a response to talking about my trauma or if others have felt this? I've been to group therapy, before, but I'm really not interested in going to a group about all of this. It seems really intimidating so I figured I'd come here.
I just want to know what everyone's experiences were as they first began to talk about their trauma was like. There's a lot of things that trigger me but I haven't figured out how to handle them or identify them. My therapist is still really early in working with me on this and I'm a little reluctant to share (verbally) so some sessions I feel like I'm the roadblock.
Any information is appreciated. Thanks for you time :)
|
JoshuaXSantiago
| 1
| 0
| 5
|
2020-02-01 22:08:19
|
rapecounseling
|
Potential trigger warning, I gave some vague details about my trauma. Not sure if it's considered triggering, but just wanted to give anyone reading a heads up. I'm new to this sub. Hi everyone, I've been skimming around and really appreciate some of the love and support you all give. <es>A few weeks ago I told my therapist about my past experiences and how they affect me.<ee> <es>Without going into details, I was coerced at a young age to have multiple, repeated sexual encounters with someone who was not an adult but significantly older than me.<ee> <es>I've never known what to call it because it's a grey area (to me) and I'm not sure what to call it.<ee> <es>My boyfriend says I was groomed but I'm not sure if I don't agree or am in denial about it. <ee> <es>Lately, a lot of stuff has been kind of numb to me.<ee> <efs>Since I started talking about it, I've been having intense moments of depression, I've been angry in situations that I'm normally not, and I just want to give up on treatment (which I've never done in my three years of therapy).<efe> <rs>I'm not sure if this is a response to talking about my trauma or if others have felt this?<re> <es>I've been to group therapy, before, but I'm really not interested in going to a group about all of this.<ee> <efs>It seems really intimidating so I figured I'd come here.<efe> <rs>I just want to know what everyone's experiences were as they first began to talk about their trauma was like.<re> <es>There's a lot of things that trigger me but I haven't figured out how to handle them or identify them.<ee> <efs>My therapist is still really early in working with me on this and I'm a little reluctant to share (verbally) so some sessions I feel like I'm the roadblock. <efe> <rs>Any information is appreciated.<re> Thanks for you time :)
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
ei7igp
|
Future Decision Making
|
1a
|
rant
| 1
|
I recently started dating my ex boyfriend and let me say, he's the only one I feel genuinely comfortable around. The problem is when I was first with him, I split really bad and broke up with him, which was followed by a heavy Manic episode (I'm also bipolar :()
We're fine now but we are talking about future plans, which I absolutely adore. Hes the only one I've ever realistically saw myself with for a long time, getting the families together.
However I feel very relectant. I feel like I'll lose everything and everyone if I move in with him, or if I have kids with him even four years down the line. I feel like I'll split on him again and leave him and I dont want to feel stuck either. I'm just very scared of change, positive or negative, and I'm not sure what the right decision is :/
|
tapewornn
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2019-12-31 19:24:29
|
BPD
|
<es>I recently started dating my ex boyfriend and let me say, he's the only one I feel genuinely comfortable around.<ee> <es>The problem is when I was first with him, I split really bad and broke up with him, which was followed by a heavy Manic episode (I'm also bipolar :()<ee> <es>We're fine now but we are talking about future plans, which I absolutely adore.<ee> <es>Hes the only one I've ever realistically saw myself with for a long time, getting the families together. <ee> <efs>However I feel very reluctant.<efe> <efs>I feel like I'll lose everything and everyone if I move in with him, or if I have kids with him even four years down the line.<efe> <efs>I feel like I'll split on him again and leave him and I dont want to feel stuck either.<efe> <efs>I'm just very scared of change, positive or negative, and I'm not sure what the right decision is :/<efe>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
you feel like you'll lose everything after moving in with him
| null | true
| 220
|
eiqbwd
|
DAE order food on ubereats a lot (at least twice a week) to avoid having to do dishes?
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
I only eat once a day, and it's at night. Am I a supreme level of laziness or is this normal?
|
kelliechristmas
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-02 00:26:00
|
BPD
|
<es>DAE order food on ubereats a lot (at least twice a week) to avoid having to do dishes?<ee> <es>I only eat once a day, and it's at night.<ee> <rs>Am I a supreme level of laziness or is this normal?<re>
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
eating only once a day
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
eouo2r
|
Running into my rapists often due to living in a small town. Anyone else have this issue?
|
1a
|
survey
| 1
|
As the title says, this happens to my often (maybe every other month? One time it was 3 days in a row while at other times I can go a few months without seeing one of them)
Does anyone else have this issue and if so, how do you deal? I’ve been face-to-face in gas stations, Taco Bell, etc. but I also pass by them a lot while driving. It sucks and sometimes I’m okay and other times it literally takes my breath away and I try not to have a full-fledged panic attack at Subay
For the time being, moving isn’t an option. It was but being recently dumped by someone who I had basically mapped out my entire life with, I have to start from scratch
|
tbribri33
| 1
| 0
| 2
|
2020-01-15 00:50:32
|
rapecounseling
|
As the title says, this happens to my often (maybe every other month? One time it was 3 days in a row while at other times I can go a few months without seeing one of them) Does anyone else have this issue and if so, how do you deal? I’ve been face-to-face in gas stations, Taco Bell, etc. but I also pass by them a lot while driving. It sucks and sometimes I’m okay and other times it literally takes my breath away and I try not to have a full-fledged panic attack at Subay For the time being, moving isn’t an option. It was but being recently dumped by someone who I had basically mapped out my entire life with, I have to start from scratch
| 2
| 2
| 2
| null | null | null | null | null | null | null | true
| 222
|
el9t0c
|
DAE struggle for focus on anything the day after therapy?
|
1b
|
survey
| 1
|
I'm on a study day at work today and I am struggling to focus. I'm in lectures and I am spaced out and missing bits of what being said. The lecturer is staring at me and asking questions trying to get me to engage and I am trying but I can barely hear her.
My brain keeps jumping from one thought to the next and it's making me feel drained.
Honestly I dont know what to do.
|
StephPowell31
| 1
| 0
| 0
|
2020-01-07 10:25:12
|
ptsd
|
<es>I'm on a study day at work today and I am struggling to focus.<ee> <efs>I'm in lectures and I am spaced out and missing bits of what being said.<efe> <es>The lecturer is staring at me and asking questions trying to get me to engage and I am trying but I can barely hear her.<ee> <efs>My brain keeps jumping from one thought to the next and it's making me feel drained.<efe> <es>Honestly I dont know what to do.<ee>
| 2
| 2
| 0
| null | null | null | null |
What do you need help with now that X?
|
your brain is struggling to focus on the lectures
| null | true
| 220
|
elln8i
|
Day 40. Started the new job
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
I haven’t posted in a few days because I haven’t really had much to say. I feel pretty good. Seriously. Started the new job I’m 12 hours into a 15 hour shift. No complaints. I was busy as hell. Harder I worked better I felt.
Don’t really even think about dope exept in my dream. And If you asked me to do dope I’d say in your fucking dreams. I’m glad life’s getting normal. Not that I can ever remember what normal is like. Been so long.
40 days is a milestone I guess so figured I’d post. Probably post for a while. God bless all of you you’ve helped me so much
|
marduk123789
| 1
| 0
| 10
|
2020-01-08 01:49:39
|
OpiatesRecovery
|
I haven’t posted in a few days because I haven’t really had much to say. I feel pretty good. Seriously. Started the new job I’m 12 hours into a 15 hour shift. No complaints. I was busy as hell. Harder I worked better I felt. Don’t really even think about dope exept in my dream. And If you asked me to do dope I’d say in your fucking dreams. I’m glad life’s getting normal. Not that I can ever remember what normal is like. Been so long. 40 days is a milestone I guess so figured I’d post. Probably post for a while. God bless all of you you’ve helped me so much
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
ein3k5
|
I'm in med school and also may have borderline BPD.
|
0
|
survey
| 1
|
I just wanted to say hi. I qualify for four of the diagnostic criteria. But I'm high functioning and also not "looking" for a diagnosis (not that anyone is looking for a diagnosis, but you get know what I mean).
When I was younger I may have qualified for a narcissistic dx. But really so many of us are narcissistic in our 20s...
Has anyone here had thoughts or conversations about BPD-narcisistic overlap? Just wondering- random question/thought...
Anyway, this is my fav sub of all the mental health ones. I see people here communicating really well and helping each other! Keep up the good work.
Getting ready to start my psych rotation next week. Wish me luck...
|
ChairmanLebronXimes
| 1
| 0
| 1
|
2020-01-01 20:14:18
|
BPD
|
<es>I'm in med school and also may have borderline BPD.<ee> I just wanted to say hi. <es>I qualify for four of the diagnostic criteria.<ee> <es>But I'm high functioning and also not "looking" for a diagnosis (not that anyone is looking for a diagnosis, but you get know what I mean). <ee> <es>When I was younger I may have qualified for a narcissistic dx.<ee> <es>But really so many of us are narcissistic in our 20s...<ee> <rs>Has anyone here had thoughts or conversations about BPD-narcisistic overlap?<re> <rs>Just wondering- random question/thought...<re> Anyway, this is my fav sub of all the mental health ones. I see people here communicating really well and helping each other! Keep up the good work. Getting ready to start my psych rotation next week. Wish me luck...
| 2
| 0
| 2
| null | null |
How did X make you feel?
|
having BPD
| null | null | null | true
| 202
|
ek7gnk
|
27 days clean!!!
|
0
|
chitchat
| 1
|
I’m officially 27 days clean!!
|
ewwhoisluke
| 13
| 0
| 15
|
2020-01-05 03:38:53
|
mentalillness
|
I’m officially 27 days clean!!
| 0
| 0
| 0
|
Can you tell me what happened? You can be as specific as you like.
| null | null | null | null | null |
random
| true
| 0
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.