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wait so like... was it a really bad photo or just a random one? | it was a blurry group shot from 2018. why do i even exist. |
did they see it or is this just you spiraling on the platform? | oh they definitely saw. got the notification like three seconds later. |
remember that time you got a package meant for someone else and it turned out to be exactly what you'd been wanting? | still can't wrap my head around that one honestly |
that whole wrong-name thing still trips me out when i think about it, you know? | right like who does that even happen to |
hold on, what's that story? | this morning at the drive-thru the barista handed me my order and said the car ahead already covered it. there was a post-it stuck to the cup that said 'hope your day is beautiful'. made me tear up a little honestly |
you okay over there? | oh this old thing... it's still got the faint smell of that diner we used to study at. can almost hear the jukebox playing in my head clear as day |
what's with the face you're making over there with your coffee | okay so I just walked in and found an email saying I got promoted to team lead which is insane because I never even applied for that position and my boss didn't even mention it was coming so I'm just standing here like did someone hack my account or is this actually real because the last time something good happened wi... |
wait so you just walked into the kitchen and there it was? | yep. just standing there on the linoleum like it owned the place. pepper was looking at me like 'what, you wanted a delivery service?' |
did it actually move when you saw it? | slowly. that slow slither across the tile near my bare feet. honestly my brain just went static for a solid five seconds. |
oh? what's that about? | she was dead asleep and her hair was all messed up and she let out this little snore. caught myself thinking this is the best thing i've ever accidentally done. |
dude you seem pissed, what's the deal? | almost rear-ended a bus full of kids cause some guy just swerved into my lane |
Wait, how did you even figure out she's some kind of internet famous? | so we're sitting at the gate right, and this random guy comes up and goes 'oh my god are you the one from that video where the cat knocks over the christmas tree?' and she just sighs like this was totally normal and goes 'yeah that's me.' and i'm sitting there with my half-eaten soggy airport sandwich thinking wait wha... |
So you had no clue she was like a big deal online? | none whatsoever. i mean we talk every day about dumb stuff like whether the office coffee is getting worse or if the new guy's laugh sounds like a seagull. then out of nowhere her phone buzzes and she goes 'oh that's my agent.' and i'm like 'your what.' and she casually explains she does these diy renovation videos and... |
so why were you actually out on a bus at three in the morning, not sleeping like a normal person? | couldn't sleep, you know? the apartment's got this hum, like the fridge and the traffic and the neighbor's tv all blended together. thought maybe moving would help, change the noise. but the bus is worse. there's this guy across from me, talking to himself, and the lights are that weird fluorescent yellow. makes everyt... |
you always send texts at weird hours — what were you actually doing when you sent that one at like 3am? | on the 42 bus, heading nowhere specific. driver was going real slow, like even he didn't wanna be there. there was a woman two rows up, crying into her phone, real quiet like she didn't want anyone to hear. and i thought, that's gonna be me in a sec, except i don't even have anyone to call. the city's got this way of m... |
so how's the apartment packing actually going? | spent an hour staring at a box of mugs if that tells you anything |
you sounded wrecked on the phone — what's got you? | the tape dispenser ran out and i almost cried about it |
you've been gripping that water bottle like it owes you money, what's going on? | it's just — you know Sarah? yeah her. third time in a row. third. sends me this long text like 'hey so sorry something came up' and it's always the same vague excuse. I mean at this point I'd respect it more if she just said 'don't feel like it' instead of pretending something urgent happened. and I know that sounds pe... |
what's with the heavy sigh every time you check your phone? | oh just got another one from Marcus. guess what. yeah you guessed it. canceled again. says he's got a thing for his sister's birthday dinner which like okay that's a real reason except last time it was a work thing and the time before that he said he wasn't feeling great and I'm starting to wonder if he just doesn't wa... |
You look like you're carrying the weight of the world. What's going on? | packing up forty years of a life by yourself in a walk-up. found a box of letters from my late husband this morning and just sat on the floor for an hour. |
Out here walking it off, or just escaping something? | escaping a mountain of bubble wrap more like. the apartment's a disaster zone and my back's screaming but the tide doesn't care about any of it. |
okay so what happened in the meeting that has you all weird tonight? | oh god I still can't believe this happened. so you know how I've been pulling all-nighters for the group project right. I was in the library study room with like five other people and we were supposed to be finalizing the presentation slides. next thing I know I'm out cold head just drops onto the table and I start sno... |
didn't you used to run those big quarterly meetings? what happened there? | well the last one I nodded off during the third slide. snored right into the silence. they moved me to data entry after that. |
you ever fall asleep in a meeting or was that just a rumor? | oh that rumor's got teeth unfortunately. woke up to my own snort and the director just staring at me. been six months and I still feel it in my bones. |
so like did the new york times call you personally or did you just stumble on it? | got a text from my co-founder at like 3am. thought he was joking at first. still doesn't feel real honestly. |
wait the one where you're listed next to actual companies or like the small print section? | full on paragraph in the business section. had to read it three times on the trail just to make sure i wasn't hallucinating. |
wait are you still looking at the same page you were an hour ago? | yeah words just blurring into grey soup now |
so you hit the wall huh? what's it feeling like right now? | like my brain is literally a wet paper towel |
wait so what exactly did the little one yell out? | you know how they're just learning volume control and have zero filter. right there in the cereal aisle, full-on toddler bellow, 'mommy that lady has a REALLY big bottom!' and i'm just standing there, the lady hears it, looks over, and i'm holding a box of cheerios like it's going to shield me. and then he goes 'is she... |
did anyone else hear it or was it just that one person? | oh no, the whole checkout line heard it. because of course it wasn't a quiet moment. we were right near the registers, and he picked that exact second to pipe up again, this time about the cashier's shiny name tag. he goes 'she's wearing a sparkle, like a princess!' and i'm relieved for half a second, thinking okay, sw... |
whatcha making over there that smells so good this early? | oh it's this thing my dad used to do every single sunday. like religiously. he'd get up before anyone else and start browning onions and garlic in this old cast iron skillet that's probably older than me honestly. and the whole house would just smell like home. and i'm standing here trying to remember the exact pinch o... |
is that the thing your dad used to burn the toast with? | god yeah that's the one. he'd get so mad about the smoke detector going off but he never actually fixed his timing. he'd just wave a dish towel at it and curse under his breath and keep going. and now here i am doing the exact same dance with the same stupid skillet and i can't even be annoyed about it because it's lik... |
you going to talk to HR or what? | god i don't know. part of me wants to just walk into the morning meeting tomorrow and say hey everyone remember that presentation? yeah those were my numbers. my three weeks of late nights. my saturday morning calls with the vendor. but then i think about it and what's the point really. HR'll do that thing where they n... |
what's the weirdest hypothetical you've come up with on those long drives? | ok so if a cow got loose on the interstate do you swerve or just commit |
do you actually talk to yourself out there or is that just a stereotype? | full conversations with the gps about its life choices |
remember that time you showed up to my parents' anniversary party a whole week early? | this is somehow worse though. at least then i had a gift and a decent excuse. yesterday i just stood there holding a bottle of wine while they were still vacuuming. |
kind of like when you accidentally called my mom 'mom' on our third date, right? | oh god don't remind me. at least that was just a word. this was a full-on entrance with a salad bowl while they're still in pajamas setting the table. |
so what's got you grinning like that at this hour? | okay so I'm just sitting here trying to process this thing that happened like... this morning? or I guess technically it went live overnight. but there's this journalist who must have been poking around our github or something and she wrote this whole piece about small bootstrapped projects and she just... dropped our ... |
did you at least manage to play it off like it was intentional? | oh the microphone caught every single thud |
please tell me someone caught it on video | my cousin's phone was already up too |
so how's your morning going with your dad? | it's weird, y'know? the calls used to be like twenty minutes and now they're barely five before he's too tired. still tries to ask about my classes though. |
you doing okay after that last call? | he forgot what day it was halfway through and just sort of trailed off. mom had to take the phone and say he needed to rest. feels like i'm losing him in pieces. |
What's that stack of photos you keep flipping through? | oh these? from that trip to the coast ten years ago. remember i told you about the little yellow house? that was the summer everything felt possible somehow. look at this one — that's me and maria on the pier at sunrise, she'd just gotten the cast off her wrist. the light was this weird pink-gold that made everything l... |
What were you doing on that train trip, anyway? | hah, that was the year i decided to just go. no plan, no hotel bookings, just a backpack and a camera that weighed a ton. got off at random stops, talked to strangers in diners, took pictures of things that didn't make sense. like this one here — a rusted tractor in a field with a single crow on top. why did i even tak... |
What's got you looking over your shoulder every time we talk lately? | this car keeps showing up same time I get off the bus, hangs back a block then rolls past slow. told my wife I'm probably just tired but it's been four days now. |
You seem jumpy this morning, something happen on the way here? | same dark sedan I've been noticing at the stop pulled into the hospital lot just after I did. sat there for ten minutes before driving off. could be nothing but my gut's been wrong before and this don't feel like that. |
remember that time you told me you'd never even apply there? what happened to that whole thing? | oh that's still funny honestly. woke up at like four in the morning in my old twin bed here, checked my phone, and just stared at the ceiling for a solid minute. feels like the universe decided to troll me in the best possible way. |
didn't you say their application was like a hundred pages long or something ridiculous? | yeah and i still have the paper cuts to prove it. but somehow they let me in anyway so i guess all that typing and crying was worth it. sitting here in the same room i had posters up in high school just shaking my head. |
what got you up there at that hour anyway? i didn't think you'd even touch the mic before noon | oh it was the twins. you know how they get at that age with the shiny mic stand and the little disco ball. they kept tugging my hand saying 'grandma please grandma please' and i figured what's the harm it's 'happy birthday' right? wrong. the backing track kicked in and it was definitely not the version i grew up with. ... |
did anyone else notice or was it just you panicking up there? | every single person in that room noticed. even the baby stopped crying to stare. i had this moment of clarity about halfway through where i thought 'you are a sixty-three-year-old woman in a sequined cat sweatshirt singing the wrong words to a children's song at ten in the morning and there is no escape.' the worst thi... |
you're not just zoning out up there, are you? | okay so there's this guy down there trying to get his dog to walk past a fire hydrant and the dog is absolutely not having it. it's like a whole negotiation happening and the dog is winning. |
found any new characters for your mental cast list yet? | there's a couple on the corner having what looks like a very serious conversation about... I think the shape of a cloud. she's pointing and he's nodding like it's a board meeting. love that for them. |
hold on, you saw who? | Jake from tenth grade chemistry. at a 7-Eleven near the airport. he recognized me first because i was wearing that stupid red hoodie i never throw away. |
so what exactly did the airline say when you told them? | oh they said they'd 'look into it' and that's it. like my entire wedding outfit is just floating around somewhere in a warehouse maybe. they gave me this little tracker number and a sorry-not-sorry attitude. the suit my grandmother helped pick out is gone. the custom shoes are gone. the tie i was supposed to wear that ... |
are they even trying to find it or just brushing you off? | brushing off completely. i swear they have a script for this. first they blame the connecting flight. then they blame the weather. then they say it might have been misrouted. misrouted. like it took a wrong turn at the baggage carousel. the woman at the counter had this dead look in her eyes like she'd heard it a thous... |
what's got you staring at that guy with the briefcase like he's plotting something | oh totally a double agent. no one wears that tie unironically. |
you've been muttering for like ten minutes, what's the theory | that gate agent is definitely running a betting ring on delayed flights. |
you're awfully quiet tonight, everything okay with the speech? | oh man i keep going over it in my head and then my mind just blanks out you know like i'll be sitting here looking at these trees and suddenly i'm picturing all those faces staring at me from the tables and my mouth goes dry just thinking about it debbie from accounting told me her nephew did one of those toast things ... |
did you try running through it earlier or are you still dodging it? | kept the napkin with the bullet points in my jacket pocket all day and every time my hand brushed it i got this jolt like touching a live wire you know i even sat in my car for ten minutes before coming here just staring at the dashboard trying to remember the first line and nothing came out just this hollow feeling in... |
so wait, what were you even thinking about at like one in the morning on that couch? | oh man, got into this whole thing about how if aliens showed up tomorrow, they'd probably just be disappointed in our wifi passwords. like that's what we're proud of? |
did you actually try to explain the meaning of life to the cat or what? | the cat got a full TED talk about how every pizza box is basically a metaphor for missed opportunities. she walked out halfway through. typical. |
remember how you said debbie from accounting always had that weird lighting setup on zoom calls? | wait THAT debbie? |
didn't you mention she once randomly flew to japan for a weekend? | that's the one who's got like a million followers? |
What's that old thing you're holding onto there? | just my college hoodie, you know the one with the worn-out elbows and that faded mascot on the back. smells like mothballs and memories now. |
That looks like it's been through a lot — what's the story? | oh this old thing? wore it every single day back in seventy-two. feel the fabric, it's like tissue paper now, but the weight of it still feels like home. |
you look like you're trying to solve world hunger with that coffee mug | world hunger's easier. these clients want miracles by lunch. |
three emails already this morning? at six am? | one's a follow-up on a follow-up. about a follow-up. |
what are you gonna do if the results come back bad? | like i haven't even let myself think that far yet. been living in this weird bubble where if i don't think about it then maybe it just won't happen. stupid i know. but like the moment i actually picture sitting in that room with my mom and the doctor saying something bad my brain just goes blank. and then i start think... |
how do you even deal with the waiting part? | the waiting is the worst part honestly. feels like the whole world is moving in slow motion and i'm just stuck in this car watching streetlights go by and thinking about cells dividing or not dividing inside me. tried watching a show to distract myself but kept rewinding the same scene five times because i wasn't heari... |
what, did you find out he's been stealing office snacks or something? | oh my god so much worse — he emailed the wrong person. |
okay hit me with the tea, what happened? | sandra's cat knocked her laptop off the desk mid-zoom. |
remember when you first realized you were a total goner for them? like that specific moment it clicked? | god yeah. there was this time real early on, like maybe three weeks in. they were asleep on my couch, just completely out, mouth slightly open, hand dangling off the edge. and i was just standing there in the doorway with a glass of water, thinking this is the most ridiculous thing i've ever seen. the way their eyelash... |
did you ever catch yourself doing something dumb early on, like just staring at them while they weren't looking? | oh constantly. there was this one night they fell asleep on my shoulder watching a movie. like full dead weight, snoring softly. and i didn't move. for two and a half hours. my arm went completely numb, pins and needles all the way up to my shoulder. but i couldn't bring myself to shift even an inch. just sat there thi... |
so you found another note in your lunch today? | oh god that little handwriting just kills me every time |
what are you gonna do about all those notes they keep leaving? | gonna buy them a giant pack of sticky notes tomorrow probably |
wait you showed up a whole day early? | yep. stood there with a bottle of wine like an absolute fool. |
hold on, what happened with the dinner thing? | rang the doorbell and everything. pure commitment to the bit. |
you think the moon follows people on purpose? | nah it's just curious like us |
ever wonder if pigeons have tiny little meetings? | gotta be a mayor pigeon somewhere |
no way, what'd they do | busted him red-handed with the leftover cake tin |
what's that little smile about, you got a secret? | just my wife sneaking notes into my lunch again. |
you look like you just found a twenty in an old coat | better than twenty. she drew a little heart on the napkin. |
hold on, what'd you see? | the lady with the emotional support peacock just walked past for the third time. i'm telling you it's a distraction. someone's gonna roll a suitcase full of cash past security while we're all staring at feathers. |
so you're telling me sarah actually stood up and said it was hers? | in front of the whole department. didn't even stutter. |
wait, what did jason say when you confronted him after? | grinned and said i should be flattered he liked it. |
you've been staring at that gate sign for like ten minutes without blinking | god it's like the words just... dissolved on the page you know? like i've read the same paragraph about hearsay exceptions maybe forty times and it might as well be ancient greek. and then my brain starts doing this thing where it fixates on random details like how many tiles are on the floor here or whether that kid's... |
did you get any sleep on the flight or just more flashcards | more flashcards obviously like that's working out great. fell asleep at three am woke up at five with my face on a page about civil procedure and honestly i think my brain filed a formal complaint. like it's literally staging a protest — every time i open the outline my eyes just glaze over and start looking for litera... |
you're awfully quiet back there — everything okay? | just mentally running through the speech and realizing i've forgotten how words work. like what even is a vowel at this point. |
you keep checking your phone like it's about to explode — what's going on? | googled 'how to disappear before a wedding toast' and apparently there's no clean exit strategy. guess i'm stuck with a microphone and a pulse. |
did you just see that your little coffee shop app got name-dropped by the times? | babe i literally had to read the sentence like four times before it sank in. still feels like someone else's name up there. |
so when you said you had news i figured you got a free drink or something not this | right? thought my phone was glitching when the notification came through. took a screenshot just in case it disappears at dawn. |
so like did you actually manage to say the words or was it just garbled nonsense? | pretty sure i just stared at her for like ten seconds |
wait did you have the ring or was it a whole spontaneous thing? | ring's been burning a hole in my pocket for a month |
Okay, if you had to fight one extinct animal with your bare hands, which one are you picking? | honestly probably a dodo. they look like they'd get winded after like two seconds and i need any advantage i can get right now stuck in this bus traffic |
So if this bus suddenly turned into a boat, would you be relieved or just more annoyed? | relieved for like thirty seconds until i remembered i don't know how to swim and this thing has no life jackets. classic win-win |
what's got you giggling at this hour | so jenna's crush just liked her 2018 post |
okay why are you whisper-shouting | that's the third time this week mark's cried in the supply closet |
so what's next for you? like are you just gonna keep going through boxes or take a break? | oh man I don't even know haha. like this hoodie is basically held together by memories at this point and there's a coffee stain from freshman orientation that I swear is like a fossil now. was just standing there holding it and I could almost smell that weird dorm carpet and hear someone blasting t swift down the hall.... |
what are you gonna do with all that old stuff? like donate it or keep it forever? | okay so here's the thing haha. I was fully ready to toss everything until I found this hoodie and now I'm just sitting on the floor of my room like a total weirdo. it's got this faint smell like cheap detergent and late night pizza and it's so soft from being washed a million times. like I remember wearing it to that o... |
what do you think you're gonna do about the garden situation? | you know i was just sitting here watching her sleep through the back door window and i got completely stuck. like the coffee went cold in my hand. she's got this little frown she does when she's dreaming and i just stood there thinking about how we almost didn't make it past that first year. the tomatoes can wait hones... |
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