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hold on what happened just now | she was buying a red bull. same brand as senior year. |
did anyone actually confront her about it or just let it slide? | oh nobody confronted her but her own mom pulled her aside right before the ceremony. just saw them by the coat check and her mom had that look you know the one where she's smiling but her eyes are saying 'i raised you better than this'. and the bridesmaid came back all red-faced and wouldn't make eye contact with anyon... |
wait did he just—like, did he actually say the words or was it more of a mumble thing? | nah he looked me dead in the eye. we were at the gate, 3am, airport half empty. he was strapped into that ridiculous car-shaped carry-on, the one with the squeaky wheel. i was wrestling his juice box out of the bag. he just goes 'i love you' clear as anything. no reason. then he went right back to trying to unzip the s... |
what did you even do with your face in that moment, like were you cool or were you a wreck? | oh i froze. complete statue. the juice box is dangling from my hand, i'm staring at this tiny person who just—like he reprogrammed my whole brain with three words. i think i said 'i love you too, buddy' but it came out all croaky. then he asked if we could get those gummy dinosaurs from the kiosk. so now i'm standing t... |
remember you said your grandma always wore that one floral perfume? | smelled it on some stranger in line today. like full-body flashback. almost tapped her shoulder but that would have been insane. |
didn't you mention once she used to put it on before bed or something? | yeah before bed every single night. caught a whiff in line today and my brain just. stopped working for a second. wild how smell does that. |
so what are you gonna do with the snake now? | honestly I just stood there staring at them both for like a full minute. the cat looked so proud of herself too. I think it's a garter snake so I'm gonna try to catch it but like... not tonight. |
why are you just staring at your phone with that weird grin? | little dude just stacked blocks exactly how i used to. hit me right in the chest. |
what's got you all quiet over there? | nothin. just — that kid's building a fort. same dumb way i did at seven. |
wait you actually did it? the deadlift goal? | one fifty-five. felt like the floor was gonna crack. |
you're glowing — what happened at the gym tonight? | finally got that squat PR. legs are basically jelly now. |
bet you went full deer in headlights | froze so hard i forgot how to unmute |
so how long till they let you forget that one | at least until the next all-hands meeting probably |
you've been at the hospital all week again, haven't you? | last time i had a whole day to myself was before the leaves turned. mom's sleeping now so i figured i'd sit here and stare at a departures board for a bit. |
when's the last time you actually sat down and breathed for a minute? | breathed? don't remember. it's just one thing after another — meds, meals, paperwork, and by the time she's settled i'm too tired to even think about me. |
did you actually just check your phone or did you dream that? | front row seats babe. like i'm still looking at the confirmation and it doesn't compute yet. waited forty years for this. |
you're grinning at the ceiling fan what happened? | that band we saw in that tiny club back in the nineties? front row tickets just landed in my inbox. still feels fake honestly. |
remember that first time you said the train announcements here sounded like they were personally judging you? | oh they still do. just louder now and emptier. |
still getting used to the whole 'everyone walking in four different directions' thing? | yeah. like being in a crowd but completely alone. |
so what do you think you'll do about the landlord? | oh he's about to learn what retired people with nothing but time look like |
you gonna call someone or just let it go? | let it go? honey I'm seventy-two and I've got a ceiling on my floor |
you look like you haven't slept in three days, what's going on? | bar prep's got me in a chokehold. started reading a sentence about torts this morning and it literally just looked like the letters were having a fight. |
you okay there? you've been staring at that same page for ten minutes. | the words just stop making sense around page fifty now. it's like my brain went on strike and forgot to tell me. |
remember when you used to say the only good thing about strangers was that you'd never see them again? | yeah well that note's in my wallet now |
didn't you once call coffee runs a necessary evil or something? | guess evil bought me a latte today |
so what had you so rattled when you walked in the door tonight? | okay so i get home from the wedding right, still got that champagne buzz going, thinking about how nice you looked in that suit, and i walk into the living room and my cat is sitting there like a little psychopath with a garter snake dangling out of her mouth. like full live snake, still wiggling. i screamed so loud th... |
you seemed kinda off when we were saying goodnight, everything alright? | yeah no everything's fine now but like twenty minutes before you dropped me off i had to wrangle a snake out of my cat's mouth with a broom and a tupperware container. full wildlife rescue in my kitchen at midnight. the cat was offended i took away her new toy, the snake was terrified, i was standing there in my suit j... |
did you at least snore in key? | honestly think the whole floor heard me |
hope the zoom mic picked that up for posterity | god my own snoring woke me up somehow |
you okay there? it's pretty late to be out with a dog. | yeah just needed air. third night in a row staring at a screen till my eyes go blurry and this little guy's the only thing that makes sense right now honestly. |
rough night? you look like you've been through it. | just been one of those weeks where sleep's a rumor and the coffee's the only thing keeping me upright. at least the dog's happy, right? |
is there a reason you keep checking the rearview mirror every ten seconds? | okay so you know the bus stop by the old laundromat right. there's this guy there every night now and he like doesn't move when the bus comes just watches people get off. and tonight i swear he followed my route. i took like three random turns to shake him and my heart is still going and i feel stupid saying it out lou... |
losing your nerve already and we're still a quarter mile from the parking lot? | dear god my hands are shaking this bad? |
thought you'd be reciting your toast to the trees by now, what happened? | trees don't judge but eighty people will |
you've been out here a while, everything okay? | she'd sit right there on the passenger seat every time we went to the park. last time was tuesday and i didn't even know it. |
wait, what's that little spot on your jacket sleeve? | oh — that's from her paw. she'd always put her foot on my arm when she wanted me to stay put. guess she wanted one last claim. |
wait, what happened? you look like you've got something on your mind. | oh nothing happened, just — you know that thing where something's been sitting there for weeks and then it just hits you? was pouring my coffee and thought about how next week i'm gonna be pouring it alone and then the stupidest stuff came flooding in — like who's gonna tell me about the weird bird on the feeder, or wh... |
hold on what did she say | she looked up from her sippy cup and goes 'daddy i want that toy.' i just stood there frozen for a second and then called my mom sobbing a little bit. |
remember that time you tried to teach me that dumb dance and we both just ended up laughing on the floor? | yeah, and you kept saying I was doing it wrong but you were the one off beat the whole time. finding those letters this morning... god, we were such idiots, in the best way. |
did you ever figure out what happened to that mixtape you made me, the one with all the bad puns on the tracklist? | pretty sure it's still at my parents' house somewhere, gathering dust. but I found a whole stack of letters from back then, and honestly, it's like... seeing a ghost of who we used to be. |
okay but like were you at least close? | not even in the same universe of correct |
did anyone else notice or just me? | the whole room went dead quiet man |
wait, what happened tonight? | just got back to the roof after walking around for an hour. everything's blaring and buzzing and there's nobody to turn to and say 'hey look at that.' feels like being at a party where you don't know anyone. |
oh no, what's going on? | you know that hollow feeling when the streetlights are too bright but no one's out. sat down on the steps and this couple walked past laughing and it just hit me how far away home feels. |
twenty minutes late and already pacing? that's a new record even for you | kid's phone's going straight to voicemail |
bet you've called the school like six times already haven't you | four times and counting actually |
you were quiet tonight — something on your mind? | found my old college hoodie in the back of the closet. it's got that faded arizona state logo, couple of holes in the sleeve. just hit different, you know. |
that look on your face just now — thinking about something from way back? | yeah that old hoodie. could smell the dorm room for a second there. feels like a whole other person lived in that thing. |
what even is the city's evidence, like a photo or something? | a photo that clearly shows my car in a legal spot with the pay station right there. they didn't even try. |
so you're just supposed to eat the fine and move on? | god no. been on hold with the parking bureau for an hour. they make it impossible on purpose. |
so what happened with the ex thing you mentioned? | oh gosh you know what I did? there I am sitting in mom's kitchen with my morning tea scrolling through facebook and somehow I ended up on her page and then my thumb just slipped or something and I liked a photo from like five years ago and I didn't even realize until I saw the notification and by then it was too late a... |
wait did you actually interact with their profile by accident? | you're not gonna believe this I was just sitting there in my parents' kitchen having my second cup of coffee and I don't even know why I was looking at her page maybe just being nosy but I accidentally tapped the heart button on this old photo of her at some beach trip and I froze and I thought about undoing it but it ... |
didn't you used to write her letters in that weird purple ink? | yeah that was back when i thought fancy ink would make up for never saying the right thing out loud. found a whole shoebox of them this afternoon actually. |
remember when she'd leave notes in your locker before homeroom? | those little folded things with the hearts dotting the i's. i still have a few of them in a box under the spare tire. don't know why i keep hauling them around. |
wait, they just said that with no explanation at all? | pretty much. got a text that said 'can't do this anymore' and then nothing. feels like i'm standing in an empty parking lot staring at where a car used to be. |
so they didn't even tell you why? | nope. just packed their stuff while i was at work and left the key on the counter. spent the whole ride home trying to figure out what i did wrong and came up with nothing. |
wait you're like actually glowing, what happened this morning? | okay so she looked right at me and went 'more juice please' and i swear my brain short-circuited. like a full actual sentence with the please and everything. |
you've been grinning at your coffee for five minutes, spill it | little dude just walked up to me and said 'daddy up now' like it was nothing. had to sit down for a second because my knees went weak from the cuteness. |
what are you gonna do about that project deadline then | you know what, deadlines are just society's way of keeping us from staring at the ceiling and really thinking. i'm going to pour another glass and see where the universe takes this. |
so what's your next move with the neighbor's cat situation | oh i'm going full diplomat. show up with a saucer of milk and a fake treaty. cats understand negotiation better than humans do, that's my working theory at this hour. |
last time we talked you were in the middle of that big project — did it ever let up or is it still eating your life? | oh it's still eating my life, just in new and creative ways now. like last night i'm sitting there at 3am with a red bull and a half-eaten bag of pretzels and i realize i've been staring at the same line of code for forty-five minutes. forty-five. and the worst part is the bus driver just looked at me in the mirror lik... |
you look like you haven't slept since 2019 — what's the actual count this week? | third night in a row and honestly my body's stopped even pretending to be tired, it's just like oh we're doing this again cool. the weird thing is the bus smells like wet socks and old fries and i'm too numb to care. my phone's been buzzing for like an hour with work messages and i just keep watching them pile up like ... |
what's that face you're making at the departures board | okay so that guy in the blue windbreaker? definitely not going to bogota. look at the way he's gripping his bag. he's either running from something or the universe just really hates layovers. |
you've been staring at that couple for ten minutes, what's the theory | she's secretly a travel blogger and he's her cameraman who forgot the backup battery. watch them pretend to laugh at nothing while she scans for outlets. classic airport theater. |
you find all the bubble wrap you needed? | taped my hand to the roll instead. progress. |
how many boxes you actually fill today? | three. and cried inside all four of them. |
so what did they actually say when they ended it? | basically 'it's not you, it's me' — at seventy-three you'd think they'd come up with something fresher, but no. just sat there eating a sandwich like it was a tuesday. |
did you get any hint it was coming or was it just out of nowhere? | zero warning. we'd just planned a trip to the coast and then bam — two sentences over leftover pasta. honestly my lasagna deserved a better farewell than that. |
wait, you're telling me the quiet guy from accounting is actually that art guy on instagram with half a million followers? | dude, i almost dropped my barbell when i found out. been following his stuff for like two years and had no clue it was him the whole time. |
so how'd you even figure out your coworker was secretly internet famous? | this morning at the gym my spotter showed me this viral video and i was like wait that's literally dan from the break room. still can't wrap my head around it honestly. |
found anything good in there? | old college hoodie. still fits somehow. |
closet dive bringing anything up? | smelled like twenty years ago for a second. |
remember that time you tried to count all the cows on i-95 and gave up at 47? | still maintain some were goats though |
didn't you once argue a vending machine could beat a raccoon in a fight? | raccoon's got reach but the machine don't sleep |
wait what happened to you? | three shifts in a row now I think? lost count |
you look wrecked — what's going on? | back-to-back nights and the clock just blurs together |
remember that time you packed your entire kitchen into one box and just gave up? | yeah this is that feeling but like all day every day |
you still got that tape gun from when we moved mom? | lost it somewhere under all the regret apparently |
wait, the guy who does the IT tickets is actually the one from that viral video? | yeah. the cat keyboard one. wild right. |
so that quiet woman from accounting is a thing online? | six hundred thousand followers and she just brings muffins. |
what are you gonna do about the toast tomorrow? | probably just read it off the napkin and pray |
you think you'll make it through the speech okay? | honestly my hands are shaking just thinking about it |
anyone interesting out there this morning? | this guy in a full suit chasing pigeons with a croissant. like he's late for something but not too late to commit to the bit. |
you getting any good material from that bench? | a toddler just tried to negotiate with a duck. full on hand gestures and everything. the duck wasn't impressed but I was. |
remember that time you called me about the group project freshman year and said you'd handle the presentation slides? | yeah well he literally said 'my analysis' to the boss today |
didn't you once tell me your worst fear was getting overlooked in a room full of people? | mhm just stood there and let him take it right off my slide deck |
What's the weirdest thing you've thought about so far on this drive? | Oh you know... if a tumbleweed had a personality, would it be more like a wanderer or just someone who got blown off course and never made it back? That kind of stuff. |
Do you think that waitress has been working here since the diner opened? | Probably since before they even poured the first cup of coffee. You can tell by the way she pours—like she's done it ten thousand times and still finds it interesting somehow. |
bet you meant to do that little dance move huh | oh the floor just needed a hug, that's all |
did you at least stick the landing or what | more like a flop than a flip, honestly |
okay but like, was it way more than you thought or just a little bit more? | double what i budgeted, dude. literally checking it again right now. |
so what are you gonna do with the extra? blow it all in one night? | already ordered the fancy pizza. no regrets. |
oh no, what did he do? | ate my emergency burrito. the one i had labeled with a sticky note and everything. said he thought i meant it was free game. gonna start hiding food in my room now. |
so what happened this time with the plans? | oh they texted 'running late' right as i was pulling into the lot |
third time's the charm, huh? what's the excuse? | just 'something came up' again. real specific, super helpful. |
so what'd the email actually say? | just 'urgent legal matter' and a name i don't recognize |
you gonna open it or just stare at the subject line? | nope. letting it rot in preview mode forever |
wait what happened out there? | saw my kid in the parking lot practicing skateboard tricks under the streetlight. same exact moves i used to do behind the old grocery store back in seventy-four. the way he shifts his weight before a kickflip — that's my stance. felt like watching a ghost of myself but shorter and with better headphones. sat in the ca... |
hold on, you got that look — what's up? | kid was standing at the bathroom sink just now before bed, brushing his teeth and staring at himself in the mirror making those stupid faces we all made. you know the one — pulling the lower lip down with a finger, crossing eyes. i was walking past and froze in the hallway. my mom used to yell at me for doing that exac... |
what's got you staring off into space like that at this hour? | ran into my high school crush at a gas station in osaka of all places. we're both in our seventies and i just stood there holding a bag of chips like a complete idiot. |
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