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Who, I? No; I defy thee! Gods light, I was never called so in mine own house before.
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What, me? No, you won't get a way with that! God, I've never been spoken to like that in my own bar.
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Go to, I know you well enough.
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Leave off, I know all about you.
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No, Sir John, you do not know me, Sir John. I know you, Sir John. You owe me money, Sir John, and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it. I bought you a dozen of shirts to your back.
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No, Sir John, you don't know everything about me. I know everything about you, Sir John. You owe me money, Sir John. And now you argue with me and try to trick me out of it. I bought you a dozen shirts to wear.
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Dowlas, filthy dowlas. I have given them away to bakers' wives; they have made bolters of them.
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They were awful, made of coarse linen. I had to give them away to bakers' wives to sift flour with that was all those shirts were good for.
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He had his part of it. Let him pay.
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He had some of that, let him pay you.
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He? Alas, he is poor. He hath nothing.
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Him? No, he is poor. He has nothing.
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O Jesu, I have heard the Prince tell him, I know not how oft, that that ring was copper!
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Oh Jesus, I've heard the Prince tell him so many times that that ring was just copper!
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How? The Prince is a jack, a sneak-up. 'Sblood, an he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog if he would say so.
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What? The Prince is a fool, a sneak. I swear to God, if he was here, I would beat him like a dog if he said that.
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My lord, I pray you, hear me.
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My lord, please, listen to me.
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What sayest thou, Mistress Quickly? How doth thy husband? I love him well; he is an honest man.
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What are you saying Mistress Quickly? How is your husband doing? I like him a lot; he is an honorable man.
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Good my lord, hear me.
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My good lord, please listen to me.
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Prithee, let her alone, and list to me.
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Hal, leave her alone, and listen to me.
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What sayst thou, Jack?
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What are you saying, Jack?
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The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras, and had my pocket picked. This house is turned bawdy house; they pick pockets.
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The other night I fell asleep behind these curtains and was robbed. This bar is like a brothel; they steal your things.
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What didst thou lose, Jack?
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What did you lose, Jack?
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Wilt thou believe me, Hal, three or four bonds of forty pound apiece, and a seal ring of my grandfathers.
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Would you believe it, Hal? Three or four promises of money, worth forty pounds each, and a signet ring that was my grandfather's.
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A trifle, some eightpenny matter.
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That ring's nothing it's barely worth eight pennies.
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So I told him, my lord, and I said I heard your Grace say so. And, my lord, he speaks most vilely of you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said he would cudgel you.
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That's what I told him, my lord, and I said I had heard your Grace say so. Then, my lord, he said vile things about you, like the foul-mouthed man he is, and he said he would beat you!
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What, he did not!
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What? He did?!
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Theres neither faith, truth, nor womanhood in me else.
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Either he said that, or I'm not faithful, honest, or womanly at all.
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Say, what thing, what thing?
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Thing? What thing?
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What thing! Why, a thing to thank God on.
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What thing?! Why a thing to thank God for.
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I am no thing to thank God on, I would thou shouldst know it! I am an honest mans wife, and, setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call me so.
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I am no thing to thank God for, you'd better believe it! I am the wife of an honoraable man, and ignoring my respect for your title of knight, you are a villain to call me that.
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Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to say otherwise.
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Ignoring your womanhood, you are just a beast, then.
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Say, what beast, thou knave, thou?
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What beast, you dishonest man?
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What beast? Why, an otter.
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What beast? Why, an otter.
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An otter, Sir John. Why an otter?
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An otter, Sir John. Why an otter?
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Thou art an unjust man in saying so. Thou or any man knows where to have me, thou knave, thou.
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You are a horrible man for saying a nasty thing like that. You or any other man would know what to do with me, you rascal, you.
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Thou sayest true, hostess, and he slanders thee most grossly.
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You speak truthfully, hostess, and he has greatly offended you.
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So he doth you, my lord, and said this other day you owed him a thousand pound.
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He also offends you, my lord, and he said the other day that you owe him a thousand pounds.
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Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound?
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Sir, do I owe you a thousand pounds?
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A thousand pound, Hal? A million. Thy love is worth a million; thou owest me thy love.
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A thousand pounds, Hal? More like a million. But since your love is worth a million pounds, you just owe me your love.
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Nay, my lord, he called you œjack, and said he would cudgel you.
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That's not true, my lord, he called you a fool and said that he would beat you.
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Did I, Bardolph?
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Did I, Bardolph?
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Indeed, Sir John, you said so.
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Yes, Sir John, that's what you said.
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Yea, if he said my ring was copper.
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Yes, but I only said I'd do this if he said my ring was trash and was just made of copper.
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I say tis copper. Darest thou be as good as thy word now?
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I do say it's trash and just made of copper. Are you going to honor your promise and beat me then?
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Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I dare, but as thou art Prince, I fear thee as I fear the roaring of a lions whelp.
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Hal, you know that if you were only a man, I would honor my promise. But since you're the Prince, I'm scared, like I'm scared of the roaring of a lion's cub.
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And why not as the lion?
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Why am I not the lion?
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O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thy knees!
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Oh, if your girdle broke, your stomach would be hanging around your knees!
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But, sirrah, theres no room for faith, truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine. It is all filled up with guts and midriff.
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But sir, there's no room in your chest for loyalty, honesty ,or the truth. Your chest is all filled up with guts and stomach.
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Charge an honest woman with picking thy pocket? Why, thou whoreson, impudent, embossed rascal,
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You are going to accuse an honest woman of robbing you? Why, you son-of-a-whore! You shameless, fat liar!
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if there were anything in thy pocket but tavern reckonings, memorandums of bawdy houses, and one poor pennyworth, of sugar candy to make thee long-winded,
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I bet that the only things in your pockets were tavern bills, notes about brothels, and about a penny's worth of sweet candy to give you enough energy to keep going.
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if thy pocket were enriched with any other injuries but these, I am a villain.
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If your pockets had anything in them except these things, then I'm a liar.
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And, yet you will stand to it! You will not pocket up wrong! Art thou not ashamed?
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And yet, you continue to lie! You will not accept criticism! Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
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Dost thou hear, Hal?
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Don't you understand, Hal?
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Thou knowest in the state of innocency Adam fell, and what should poor Jack Falstaff do in the days of villany?
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You know that Adam fell even when living in the innocent world of Eden, so what chance does poor Jack Falstaff have in these evil times?
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Thou seest I have more flesh than another man and therefore more frailty.
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You can see that I have more flesh than most other men, and that makes me more frail .
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You confess, then, you picked my pocket?
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Are you confessing then, that it was you who robbed me?
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It appears so by the story.
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So it seems, since I told you what was in your pockets.
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Hostess, I forgive thee. Go make ready breakfast, love thy, husband, look to thy servants, cherish thy guests. Thou shalt find me tractable to any honest reason. Thou seest I am pacified still. Nay, prithee, be gone.
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Hostess, I forgive you. Go and get breakfast ready, love your husband, take care of your servants, and look after your guests. You will find me an agreeable man normally. See how easily pleased I am. Now, please, get going!
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O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel to thee. The money is paid back again.
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Oh, I will always be your protector, you fresh piece of meat. The money has been paid back.
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O, I do not like that paying back. 'Tis a double labor.
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Oh, I don't like the whole "paying back" thing it's twice the amount of work.
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I am good friends with my father and may do anything.
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I am good friends with my father again, and so I can do anything.
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Rob me the Exchequer the first thing thou dost, and do it with unwashed hands too.
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Then start by robbing the royal treasury, and do it right now, without even washing your hands.
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Do, my lord.
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Do it, my lord.
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I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot.
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I have found you some foot soldiers to command, Jack.
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I would it had been of horse.
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I wish they could have been cavalrymen instead of foot soldiers.
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Where shall I find one that can steal well? O, for a fine thief of the age of two and twenty or thereabouts!
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Where am I going to find a good thief? Oh, if only I had a great thief who was about twenty-two years old!
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I am heinously unprovided.
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I am awfully ill-equipped.
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Well, God be thanked for these rebels. They offend none but the virtuous. I laud them; I praise them.
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Well, thank God for these rebels. They only go against the good people. I give them praise and honor for that.
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Bardolph!
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Bardolph!
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My lord.
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My lord.
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Go bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster, To my brother John; this to my Lord of Westmoreland.
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Go and give this letter to my brother, Lord John of Lancaster. Take this one to the Lord of Westmoreland.
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Rare words, brave world! Hostess, my breakfast, come. O, I could wish this tavern were my drum.
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Well said! What an amazing world this is! Hostess, bring me my breakfast. Oh, if only I could lead my troops from this bar.
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Well said, my noble Scot.
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Well said, you wonderful Scotsman.
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If speaking truth In this fine age were not thought flattery, Such attribution should the Douglas have As not a soldier of this seasons stamp Should go so general current through the world.
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If people nowadays didn't think that speaking the truth was the same thing as flattery, I would tell them that you, Douglas , should be praised more than any other soldier fighting right now , having gained such an impressive reputation already.
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By God, I cannot flatter. I do defy The tongues of soothers.
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Heaven knows, I'm not normally a flatterer. I hate people who constantly flatter others with their words.
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But a braver place In my hearts love hath no man than yourself. Nay, task me to my word; approve me, lord.
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But you have a better place in my heart than any other man. Now test me on this love; make me prove it, my lord.
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Thou art the king of honor. No man so potent breathes upon the ground But I will beard him.
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You are an incredibly honorable man, but there is no-one, however powerful, that I cannot defy.
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Do so, and tis well.
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Do it then. That would be good.
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These letters come from your father.
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These are letters from your father.
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Letters from him! Why comes he not himself?
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Just letters? Why hasn't he come to see me himself?
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He cannot come, my lord. He is grievous sick.
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He can't come my lord, he is incredibly sick.
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Zounds, how has he the leisure to be sick In such a justling time? Who leads his power? Under whose government come they along?
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God, how can he have the freedom to be sick at such a time of conflict?! Who is leading his army? Who is bringing them here?
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His letters bear his mind, not I, my lord.
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His letters will reveal his thoughts more than I can, my lord.
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I prithee, tell me, doth he keep his bed?
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Please, tell me, is he bedridden?
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He did, my lord, four days ere I set forth, And, at the time of my departure thence, He was much feared by his physicians.
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He was, my lord, when I set off four days ago. When I was leaving, the doctors were very worried about him.
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I would the state of time had first been whole Ere he by sickness had been visited. His health was never better worth than now.
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I wish this sickness could have come after this present situation has been settled. His health has never been as important to us as it is now.
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Sick now? Droop now?
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He is sick now? He weakens now?
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This sickness doth infect The very lifeblood of our enterprise. 'Tis catching hither, even to our camp.
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This sickness infects the entire mission, then . And it will even infect us here, in our camp.
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He writes me here that inward sickness And that his friends by deputation Could not so soon be drawn,
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He tells me in his letter about this internal sickness and that his troops couldn't be assembled quickly enough by his deputies.
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nor did he think it meet To lay so dangerous and dear a trust On any soul removed but on his own;
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He also didn't think that it was appropriate to let anyone other than himself carry out such a dangerous and important task.
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Yet doth he give us bold advertisement That with our small conjunction we should on To see how fortune is disposed to us,
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Yet, he does tell us to be confident and to go ahead with our small number of troops to see what our fortunes will be.
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For, as he writes, there is no quailing now, Because the King is certainly possessed Of all our purposes. What say you to it?
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He writes that now is not a time to be losing courage, since the King certainly knows about our plans to attack. What do you have to say about this?
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Your fathers sickness is a maim to us.
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Your father's sickness is a crippling injury to us.
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A perilous gash, a very limb lopped off!
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A dangerous wound, almost like one of our limbs has been chopped right off!
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And yet, in faith, it is not. His present want Seems more than we shall find it.
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Yet, actually, it doesn't have to be. His absence now seems worse than it really is.
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Were it good To set the exact wealth of all our states All at one cast? To set so rich a main On the nice hazard of one doubtful hour?
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Was it good for us to gamble everything that we have on a single throw of the dice? Was it right to bet so much on the chance of one uncertain hour?
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It were not good, for therein should we read The very bottom and the soul of hope, The very list, the very utmost bound Of all our fortunes.
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No, it wasn't good, since it meant that we had used up all of our hope, and pushed the absolute limit and boundary of our luck.
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Faith, and so we should, where now remains A sweet reversion.
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That's true, especially when you consider the hope of the inheritance we can expect.
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We may boldly spend Upon the hope of what is to come in.
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We should be bold now, in the hope of what is to come in the future.
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A comfort of retirement lives in this.
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And the fact that we now we have some help in case we need to retreat .
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A rendezvous, a home to fly unto, If that the devil and mischance look big Upon the maidenhead of our affairs.
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Yes, it gives us a refuge, somewhere to retreat to, if things look like they are going badly in the first stages of our mission.
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But yet I would your father had been here. The quality and hair of our attempt Brooks no division.
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Still, I do wish that your father was here. The nature of our mission needs us all to be united together.
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It will be thought By some that know not why he is away That wisdom, loyalty, and mere dislike Of our proceedings kept the Earl from hence.
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Some people, who don't know that he is sick, will just think that the Earl stayed away out of wisdom, loyalty, and absolute dislike of what we are doing.
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And think how such an apprehension May turn the tide of fearful faction And breed a kind of question in our cause.
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And think about how these thoughts would affect people who are already scared, and raise doubts among our followers.
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For well you know, we of the off'ring side Must keep aloof from strict arbitrament,
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For as you very well know, since we are the side making the attack, we have to try to avoid careful scrutiny.
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And stop all sight-holes, every loop from whence The eye of reason may pry in upon us.
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We have to close up all holes, all loopholes that people who are more rational might look through to criticize us.
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This absence of your fathers draws a curtain That shows the ignorant a kind of fear Before not dreamt of.
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The fact that your father is not here opens the curtains, and shows ignorant people things that they had never been scared of before.
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