bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "Oh. (to Phoebe) Should we send them something back?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oooh. Let's do. Let's send them mashed potatoes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Wait! No, no. Don't do that! That's going to make them think they can come over here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So? What if they do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen. We're just having fun. You know, not everything had to go as far as \"eye-contact.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking \"Did you hear yourself?\") I heard it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right. I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, because all good plans start with, \"I'll go down the fire escape.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hear me out woman. I'll go down the fire escape. Then, I'll wait for a while. Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa. Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out? (pause) I heard it.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I'm just going to wait for a little while.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Scary pigeon's back?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's huge.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God. I can't believe you live in that building. My grandmother lives in that building. Ida Green? No sense of personal space? Kind of smells like chicken? Looks like a potato.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "That's my bubby!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah. . . I'm sorry. We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys. I, I have a boyfriend.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I don't know. He was cute, and he liked me. It was an impulse.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What about Ross? What about your moment? Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go. \"Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(lowers voice to imitate Ross) \"Yeah.\" (Clears throat.) \"Me too.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(as herself) \"Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(as Ross) \"Yeah.\" (Clears throat twice.) \"Me neither.\" (Clears throat again.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(as herself) \"Well, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we're really feeling?\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(as Ross) \"Yeah. That works for me.\" (Clears throat twice more.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I see what you mean. By the way, nice Ross imitation.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But, your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(whining) Wha. . . hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(pointing) Better!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know? I should just . . . move on with my life.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? You're moving on from Ross?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. Do I have to decide right now?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you kind of just did. That guy is going to call you tonight. Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh God, Ross. Ross is going to pick up the phone. Oh, I have to get my number back. (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.) Oh my God. He's gone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(imitating Rachel) \"Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh my God. He's gone.\" (smiles) Dead on.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So soon?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. Well, thanks, ah, thanks for the beer.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah yeah. Good times.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me. Listen, is um, is Ross near you?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, you have to go back in.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone. So, you have to intercept all his calls.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Rachel) He says he can't do that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh give me , , , (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.) Hi, Mike? Hi. Listen. I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what? If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want. Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello? Hi. I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(knowingly chuckles) Oh, Mike. Bye.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh, hi.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.) Why? (He starts to lower his arm.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(whining) But you left.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! That didn't take long. I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pause) Well, you're forgetting about the time difference.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(gasp) Chandler! You're home!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's right. You're husband's home. So, now the sex can stop.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What are you saying?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey said that you're in here with another man.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There's no man in here. How dare you accuse me of that. (She slaps Chandler.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. All right. Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh? (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat. Then he proceeds to their bedroom.) Bwa-ah-ah!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Monica) What is he doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(smiling) I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(emerging) Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. Well, I'll check the guest room.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sniffing the air and then Monica.) Why do I smell men's cologne?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sniffing Joey) I think that's you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sniffs his shirt.) Oh yeah. I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "There's nobody here Joe.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I guess not.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can't believe you thought I was cheating. (pointing at Joey) You own me an apology.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, right Monica. I'm so sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake. It could happen to anyone. All right, see ya.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Maybe you should look up \"fascinating.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What's going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry. I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . . I didn't think you'd understand.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife? Huh? Do you think I'm like, \"Duh.\" (He strikes himself in the head with the bat. He stands dazed for a moment.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah? (His eyes bug out.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know what to say. We shouldn't have lied to you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. I feel so bad. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't. But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry. That's the one thing I can't do. I promised I'd be with Monica.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(taps chandler on the arm) You can go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You should go to the game. It's okay. I want you to.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? You're gonna be okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I'll be fine. You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's gonna be so hot! (She kisses him.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, bye.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have fun.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks. (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall. Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.) Here's your ticket.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, listen. I'm never going to lie to you again, okay? And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks man.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Where are you going?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Game's tomorrow night Joe.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh God. (He hugs Rachel)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh . . .", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow. So, what did you guys do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(pause) Well, good bye.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That was fun Pheebs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know. That was fun. (She and Mike exit.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See you guys. (She closes the door.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, lock the door. Lock the door, seriously.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh shoot. I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks. (She exits to the hallway and closes the door behind her.) Wait, wait. Sorry. Did he call? Did that guy call?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, around 8", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Then, again at 9", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello. (listens) Ah, no, she's not here right now. Can I take a message? (grabs a pad and pen) Bill from the bar? (writes) Okay, \"Bill from the bar.\" I'll make sure she gets your number.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Aaah. (She goes to tend Emma.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, ah . . . So, how was it? Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, it was so much fun. It felt so good to be out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(holds up the message) Uh, Rach.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(still looking at Emma) Yeah?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pauses, then crunches up the note and stuffs it in his pocket.) Never mind.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey you guys. (He sits.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey. I'll be right back. I've got to go to the bathroom. (She rises and exits.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, \"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(impressed) Wow, that was great! You really wrote that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(smiling) Uh-huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(coming from the bedroom) Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're really not coming back?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, who does?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I like my job.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love my job.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I can't wait to go back to work.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't get enough dinosaurs!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, I won't be here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you New Year's Day.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve??", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did I not mention that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's no call (he takes it off) for writing \"Screw you, Mr. Bing!\" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey. Where've you been?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Haha, no thanks!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? That's terrible!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no, we do it every year!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no, we have to!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well then, you should look with us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I have a great idea for a present for her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, that's it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea! Oh yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If I help, we can find 'em faster!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's right!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ooh ooh, we have a live one!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, it's a Macy's bag!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, who's it for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) \"Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Rach, these are for you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "OK, Pheebs, your turn.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guuuyys.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You got me a cola drink?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And, a lemon lime.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And last but not least.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "They're ribbed for your pleasure.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on Ben.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you doing here, Santa?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Chandler) What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine, I'll give the suit back.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Santa? Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, is that okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Did I not tell anyone about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah. Thanks.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah. (The phone rings; he answers it) Chandler Bing.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(simultaneous to the others) Ble-blah-blar Blargh!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It is. Did I... not tell you about her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I sent them home.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhh, uh...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in the same low voice) Answer better, answer better!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What does she do there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She did WHAT?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BE-LOW me!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What??", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, she... she didn't win...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(interrupting him) Oh Chandler, stop talking!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm serious!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Merry Christmas.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Merry Christmas.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Merry Christmas, you guys!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(simultaneous to the others) Blah blargah, blar-blab.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(hanging up the phone) The wife says \"Hi!\".", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(flattered) No,... no... (realizing) NO! (He quickly gets several steps away from her.) Look, I'm, I'm married!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I'm happily married.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Right. So, I'm sorry...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, not anymore.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But we don't do that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I just thought it would be fun.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How drunk are you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(thinks) That's the perfect amount!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(breaking the kiss) Y'know what's weird?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This doesn't feel weird!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're a really good kisser.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hm-hmm!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! You are really fast!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We're gonna see each other naked.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yep!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you wanna do it at the same time?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Count of three?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "One!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Two!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Two!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eh, we weren't that close anyway!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Eh! (They start making out again)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think you're better than you think you are.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? Okay, so...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting) Know when to stop.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Right!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're so efficient. I love you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Let's go! (Starts to leave.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no, wait! We need something old!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That'll work!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't think so.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, now we just need something borrowed!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's stealing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ehh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Eh, you work for that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You do?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You thought about that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How many kids were we gonna have?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What else did you think about?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure you do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You sure?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-hmm.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love you so much.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I love you. (They kiss.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? You're not gonna return it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, not this second!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh wow, it's so beautiful...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow, it really is!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "\"Wendy\" is a fat girl name.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aren't we done with that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my god...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you doing here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Got ya. (blinks an eye)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I never want to leave you again!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I thought if you left, you get fired.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What, you, you really quit your job?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he really wants to do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What do you really want to do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(realizing) I have not thought this through!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(flattered) Ahh...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now give me my real gift.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Chandler) Thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Monica) Here, pass these, will ya.. (points to the others)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, hey...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(reading off his card) \"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet.\" -- How did you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mine's is to Lilian Myers.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't have a job!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I just lost my erection.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're supposed to find your passion in life. You can be whatever you wanna be now. It's exciting.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know!!! My erection is back!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Gunther who comes over with coffee and a muffin) Thank you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, it's just, I'm a little short on cash.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "If you want I could loan you some money?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You could do that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah. The pay is pretty good and you could do it for as long as you need.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, I'm gonna be on TV!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, now. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No it is awesome!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi guys.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel and I are bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone. Doesn't she look cute?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She sure does. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, because if one more person says \"what a cute little boy\" I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think she's gonna be the hit of the office, huh? She's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(Flipping through bunch of folders as Chandler enters from bathroom) Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How long was I in there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Let us start with the A's. Advertising.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait. Advertising! That's a great idea!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don't you want to look through the rest?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense. Sorry you had to waste all this time, though.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Ooh, now I get to use my shredder!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I mean, I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be, right? \"Cheese. It's milk that you chew.\" \"Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy.\" \"A grape. Because who can get a water melon in your mouth?\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I got one. \"Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey? Leave it to the pros.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you? Give me the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "\"The phone. Bringing you closer to people...who have phones.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "\"Marriage. It's not for everybody.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh. (to Phoebe) Should we send them something back?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oooh. Let's do. Let's send them mashed potatoes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Wait! No, no. Don't do that! That's going to make them think they can come over here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So? What if they do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen. We're just having fun. You know, not everything had to go as far as \"eye-contact.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking \"Did you hear yourself?\") I heard it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right. I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, because all good plans start with, \"I'll go down the fire escape.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hear me out woman. I'll go down the fire escape. Then, I'll wait for a while. Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa. Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out? (pause) I heard it.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm just going to wait for a little while.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Scary pigeon's back?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's huge.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God. I can't believe you live in that building. My grandmother lives in that building. Ida Green? No sense of personal space? Kind of smells like chicken? Looks like a potato.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "That's my bubby!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah. . . I'm sorry. We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys. I, I have a boyfriend.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I don't know. He was cute, and he liked me. It was an impulse.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What about Ross? What about your moment? Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go. \"Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(lowers voice to imitate Ross) \"Yeah.\" (Clears throat.) \"Me too.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(as herself) \"Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(as Ross) \"Yeah.\" (Clears throat twice.) \"Me neither.\" (Clears throat again.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(as herself) \"Well, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we're really feeling?\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(as Ross) \"Yeah. That works for me.\" (Clears throat twice more.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I see what you mean. By the way, nice Ross imitation.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, thanks.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But, your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(whining) Wha. . . hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(pointing) Better!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know? I should just . . . move on with my life.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? You're moving on from Ross?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. Do I have to decide right now?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you kind of just did. That guy is going to call you tonight. Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh God, Ross. Ross is going to pick up the phone. Oh, I have to get my number back. (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.) Oh my God. He's gone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(imitating Rachel) \"Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh my God. He's gone.\" (smiles) Dead on.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So soon?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. Well, thanks, ah, thanks for the beer.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah yeah. Good times.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me. Listen, is um, is Ross near you?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, you have to go back in.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone. So, you have to intercept all his calls.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Rachel) He says he can't do that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh give me , , , (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.) Hi, Mike? Hi. Listen. I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what? If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want. Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello? Hi. I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(knowingly chuckles) Oh, Mike. Bye.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh, hi.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.) Why? (He starts to lower his arm.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(whining) But you left.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow! That didn't take long. I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pause) Well, you're forgetting about the time difference.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(gasp) Chandler! You're home!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's right. You're husband's home. So, now the sex can stop.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What are you saying?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey said that you're in here with another man.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There's no man in here. How dare you accuse me of that. (She slaps Chandler.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. All right. Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh? (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat. Then he proceeds to their bedroom.) Bwa-ah-ah!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(To Monica) What is he doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(smiling) I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(emerging) Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. Well, I'll check the guest room.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sniffing the air and then Monica.) Why do I smell men's cologne?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sniffing Joey) I think that's you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sniffs his shirt.) Oh yeah. I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "There's nobody here Joe.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I guess not.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can't believe you thought I was cheating. (pointing at Joey) You own me an apology.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, right Monica. I'm so sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake. It could happen to anyone. All right, see ya.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Maybe you should look up \"fascinating.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What's going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry. I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . . I didn't think you'd understand.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife? Huh? Do you think I'm like, \"Duh.\" (He strikes himself in the head with the bat. He stands dazed for a moment.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah? (His eyes bug out.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know what to say. We shouldn't have lied to you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. I feel so bad. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't. But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry. That's the one thing I can't do. I promised I'd be with Monica.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(taps chandler on the arm) You can go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You should go to the game. It's okay. I want you to.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? You're gonna be okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I'll be fine. You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's gonna be so hot! (She kisses him.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, bye.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have fun.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks. (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall. Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.) Here's your ticket.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, listen. I'm never going to lie to you again, okay? And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks man.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Where are you going?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Game's tomorrow night Joe.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh God. (He hugs Rachel)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh . . .", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow. So, what did you guys do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(pause) Well, good bye.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That was fun Pheebs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know. That was fun. (She and Mike exit.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See you guys. (She closes the door.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, lock the door. Lock the door, seriously.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh shoot. I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks. (She exits to the hallway and closes the door behind her.) Wait, wait. Sorry. Did he call? Did that guy call?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, around 8", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Then, again at 9", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hello. (listens) Ah, no, she's not here right now. Can I take a message? (grabs a pad and pen) Bill from the bar? (writes) Okay, \"Bill from the bar.\" I'll make sure she gets your number.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Aaah. (She goes to tend Emma.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, ah . . . So, how was it? Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, it was so much fun. It felt so good to be out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(holds up the message) Uh, Rach.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(still looking at Emma) Yeah?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pauses, then crunches up the note and stuffs it in his pocket.) Never mind.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey you guys. (He sits.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey. I'll be right back. I've got to go to the bathroom. (She rises and exits.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, \"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(impressed) Wow, that was great! You really wrote that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(smiling) Uh-huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(coming from the bedroom) Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're really not coming back?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, who does?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I like my job.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I *love* my job.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I can't *wait* to go back to work.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can't get *enough* dinosaurs!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, I won't be here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you New Year's Day.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve??", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did I not mention that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing \"Screw you, Mr. Bing!\" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey. Where've you been?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Haha, no thanks!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? That's terrible!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no, we do it every year!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no, we have to!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well then, you should look with us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I have a great idea for a present for her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, that's it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea! Oh yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If I help, we can find 'em faster!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's right!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ooh ooh, we have a live one!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, it's a Macy's bag!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, who's it for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) \"Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Rach, these are for you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "OK, Pheebs, your turn.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guuuyys.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You got me a cola drink?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And, a lemon lime.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And last but not least.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "They're ribbed for *your* pleasure.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on Ben.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you doing here, Santa?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Chandler) What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine, I'll give the suit back.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Santa? Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, is that okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Did I not tell *anyone* about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah. Thanks.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah. (The phone rings; he answers it) Chandler Bing.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(simultaneous to the others) Ble-blah-blar Blargh!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It is. Did I... not tell you about her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I sent them home.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uhh, uh...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in the same low voice) Answer better, answer better!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What does she do there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She did WHAT?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "BE-LOW me!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "*What*??", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, she... she didn't win...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(interrupting him) Oh Chandler, stop talking!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm serious!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Merry Christmas.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Merry Christmas.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Merry Christmas, you guys!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(simultaneous to the others) Blah blargah, blar-blab.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(hanging up the phone) The wife says \"Hi!\".", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(flattered) No,... no... (realizing) NO! (He quickly gets several steps away from her.) Look, I'm, I'm married!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'm *happily* married.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Right. So, I'm sorry...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, not anymore.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But we don't do that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I just thought it would be fun.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How drunk are you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(thinks) That's the perfect amount!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(breaking the kiss) Y'know what's weird?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This doesn't feel weird!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're a really good kisser.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hm-hmm!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow! You are really fast!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We're gonna see each other naked.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yep!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you wanna do it at the same time?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Count of three?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "One!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Two!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Two!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eh, we weren't that close anyway!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Eh! (They start making out again)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think you're better than you think you are.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? Okay, so...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting) Know when to stop.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Right!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're so efficient. I love you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Let's go! (Starts to leave.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no, wait! We need something old!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That'll work!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't think so.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, now we just need something borrowed!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's stealing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ehh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Eh, you work for that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You do?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You thought about that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How many kids were we gonna have?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What else did you think about?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure you do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You sure?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-hmm.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I love you so much.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I love you. (They kiss.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? You're not gonna return it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, not this second!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh wow, it's so beautiful...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow, it really is!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Wendy\" is a fat girl name.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aren't we done with that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my god...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you doing here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Got ya. (blinks an eye)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I never want to leave you again!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I thought if you left, you get fired.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What, you, you really quit your job?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What do you really want to do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(realizing) I have *not* thought this through!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(flattered) Ahh...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now give me my real gift.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Chandler) Thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Monica) Here, pass these, will ya.. (points to the others)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, hey...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(reading off his card) \"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet.\" -- How did you know?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Mine's is to Lilian Myers.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't have a *job*!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I just lost my erection.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're supposed to find your passion in life. You can be whatever you wanna be now. It's exciting.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know!!! My erection is back!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(To Gunther who comes over with coffee and a muffin) Thank you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, it's just, I'm a little short on cash.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "If you want I could loan you some money?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You could do that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah. The pay is pretty good and you could do it for as long as you need.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, I'm gonna be on TV!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, now. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No it is awesome!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi guys.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel and I are bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone. Doesn't she look cute?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She sure does. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, because if one more person says \"what a cute little boy\" I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think she's gonna be the hit of the office, huh? She's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(Flipping through bunch of folders as Chandler enters from bathroom) Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How long was I in there?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Let us start with the A's. Advertising.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait. Advertising! That's a great idea!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Don't you want to look through the rest?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense. Sorry you had to waste all this time, though.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Ooh, now I get to use my shredder!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I mean, I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be, right? \"Cheese. It's milk that you chew.\" \"Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy.\" \"A grape. Because who can get a water melon in your mouth?\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I got one. \"Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey? Leave it to the pros.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you? Give me the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "\"The phone. Bringing you closer to people...who have phones.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "\"Marriage. It's not for everybody.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]