conversations
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[
{
"content": "Of course, yeah.(they hug and Phoebe sighs... a little after that also David sighs and makes his way to the door) You know, a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate...",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(in a tearful voice) Oh... Oh boy... (she turns around and sees Ross) Hi...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(very worried) Is everything allright?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiance and it was just sooo beautiful.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I can't... I can't hear it again.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "And I'm fine never having heard it... (Rachel looks at Ross in a \"why do you say that\" manner) Rach, can I... can I see you for a sec?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen with Ross and sighs)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Do you realise that man has cried in our apartment three times...? Huh? I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What...? Too sensitive to take care of our baby?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Sandy made Madeleines.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey... there's sensitive... and there is too sensitive.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, no. No.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah! I think that's great!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh really? Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes Madeleines?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh... How are they?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(looks like in heaven) Lighter than air... (changes back to serious) But that's not the point. (Joey now also enters)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(looks surprised) Really...? Guys do that...? That's... weird...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Thank you!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "That's like a woman wanting to be a...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "...a what? A what? What's the end of that sentence?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yes... What is the end of that sentence?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, so?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Wow!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Really? Do you not know Chandler?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Science...? Academia...? Being a good father...?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "...No... (he just can't seem to grasp it)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I can't believe he's that upset about this...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Heeeyy! Hey!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What are you guys talking about?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like \"Can you believe that?\")",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica wipes away tears)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What is so funny about that? (they realise it wasn't a joke)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically, but then gets serious again...)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah....",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? (Joey and Ross walk away from the kitchen)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh yeah? Is he funnier than me?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, you're... you're different funny... I mean, you're... you're more sarcastic a-a-and... well, he does... bits... and impressions... and... and limericks...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I do limericks... uhm... There once was a man named Chandler, whose wife made him die inside.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross \"What are you doing?)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Not knowing when to shut up...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yep! That's my thing...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, uhm... David and I did use to go out... but years ago, and he lives in Minsk. He's only... he's only in town for a couple of days.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, no...",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, well, yeah...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay, well... guys?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Really? Sounded like Three Blind Mice.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Me! I'm up for puppets!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a \"there\" nod to Ross)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(shakes his head) Oh my God!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "That was kind of rude!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You know, he was just doing his job...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, come on Ross...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(sighs) Oh... That's true.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Thank you!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, you're the one who wants to fire him, so you're gonna have to do it. (Ross walks to the living room determined to fire Sandy)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(kind of emotional) I am learning so much from you.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at www.hahanotsomuch.com.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Really...? See... that's the thing",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Allright. See you later!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "See ya! (he leaves the apartment)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(to Monica) Did that guy really make that joke?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Here goes...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(from behind the bedroom door) YOU! You feel!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(from bedroom) Oh, damn you Geller!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Anyway, uhm...Well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Why... I... I don't know. (Sandy tilts his head again) Uhm... errrr... maybe... maybe because of my father?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(from the bedroom) Huh ha ha!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... \"What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Here come some more...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Wow! You blow my mind...",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Aaahh... How much do I owe you?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "It's like the cheapest college ever.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey... hey listen... What do you guys know about investments?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "How come?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What do you do with your money now?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Do you have any ideas?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Real estate, huh? Hmmm...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(very excited) Oh, and you know who's selling a great apartment? Richard!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(imitating Monica) Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My dad told me. They play golf together.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, well... Maybe I'll join them some time. I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand and beat the moustache off his face.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(sarcastically) Really? That hadn't occurred to me.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "They just gonna love you, just be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh yeah, she can't be herself.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say \"neither\".",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm sorry honey, but we're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You went out with Wallis Pincer?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Uh, he took the SAT's for me.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I knew you didn't get a 1400!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "So... now... What about with Mike's mom?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hi.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm... (Ross tries to impersonate Emma's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. He laughs about himself but then looks at Rachel, realises that it sounded weird and straightens his face.) Only... only not creepy.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I uhm... Well, I sang... (Rachel gasps) well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back... (Rachel's face changes from excited to angry)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(disgusted) owwwww...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Please don't take her away from me!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi I'm Joey. This is Chandler.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So how come Richard's selling the place? Went bankrupt? Medical malpractice? Choked on his own moustache?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "mmm That's enough about you!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Is there anything we should know about the apartment?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, no, no, no, no, NO! No, no... we're not together. We're not a couple. We're definately not a couple.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "(Chandler looks around the place and his eye gets caught by Richard's video collection) Look at these videos. You know, I mean, who does he think he is? Magnum Force, Dirty Harry, Cool Hand Luke... Oh my God!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There's a tape here with Monica's name on it.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Get there faster! (Joey gasps and finally understands...)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm wearing pantyhose!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, thank you! Oh... Oh my God, you're RICH!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. (Mike's parents walk in) HELLO!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(in a very posh accent) Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "And you... Your home is lovely.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Holy crap!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, try and stop me!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(no accent) I'm trying to get your parents to like me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(accent) Got it! It... It's hard to stop...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "God! God! This is not going well.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay, okay, okay, okay... Still sure about me being myself?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "So Theodore... I uhm... I can see where Mike gets his good looks from...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah... And that physique! You must work out all the time...",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh my God, are you okay?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm so sorry!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I really, really am sorry.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yes... I'm sorry, I've never met a boyfriends parents before...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, and you know, it really is a testament to how he was raised. Especially to you. Because he's very respectful of women.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "(Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm not gonna watch it... I don't NEED to watch it... I mean, what good could possibly come from watching? (sighs) Well, we know I'm gonna watch it. (Chandler moves to put the tape in the VCR and Joey enters the apartment)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey dude, what's up?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't judge me, I'm only human!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Did you take that tape?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I don't know. Who'm I'm married to?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some girl...!?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "She hot?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah...!?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "How did she get me to settle down?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Guess I don't know. My experience",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(backs off) What? Whoo... What?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Why am I hearing cheering?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well it's okay, its like... its just a football game.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Football? Just football?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling \"Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little doo... Itsy Bitsy Spider...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You sang Baby Got Back didn't you?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, Pervert Parade?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, Ode To A Pubic Hair?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh God! Is that veal?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love...",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the porn star!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "(laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Why in the world would you take this tape and and why would you watch it?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Chandler, this is not our problem. We've got each other. That's all that matters.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, good, good. Play more, 'cause I wanna see how it ends.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "THAT'S NOT ME!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What...? That's not you! Life is good again! Ride 'em cowgirl!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That bastard taped over me! (Chandler's expression changes)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Is that a problem?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah... The woman you what?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I love you too...",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "YEAH...! How great is this...? (they kiss)",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Okay.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I had a great time. (accent) It was really top drawer. And here's something rich",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "She sweat, wet. got it going like a turbo 'vette.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So fellas",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "fellas",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "has your girlfriend got the butt?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hell yeah!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Shake it!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Shake it! (Phoebe, Mike, Chandler, Monica and Joey step in)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Shake it!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Shake that nasty butt...",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Baby got back (Then Ross turns around and sees their friends standing in the doorway)",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "One more time from the top... I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other br... (She also turns and sees the gang)",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Rachel please! That is so inappropriate!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey Hon, could you help me get the plates down?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What if something gets broken, they're so expensive.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What is the point of having them if we never use them?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over..",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I will explain it to her.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "<laughs> Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the queen.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo hoo! TV announcer",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh my God!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What are you going to do?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said \"Everyone has to be there at 6",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well you proved them wrong.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "A lot of people are thankful for those. < knock on door>",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Who is it?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hide my rings.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh. <opens door preparing herself and then happily says> Amy! Happy Thanksgiving.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Um... hi.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Aw.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
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