bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What you got?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why are they doing this?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I just wish they'd realise they should be together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, that's a great plan!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my \"plan-laugh.\" (A maniacal laugh follows.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why? What's the big deal?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You want a job? Turn off \"Oprah,\" and send out a resume!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So I'll bring her by around seven? Is that okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, it's perfect.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ooh, Joey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right! Who is he?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A teacher?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god, you're right!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She even reads for pleasure!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do you even know a woman like that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? I'm not allowed to know smart women?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I met her at the library. I went in to pee.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So now what do we do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh...I hear that's bad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, yes, The Plan! (Laughs loudly again, but he sounds more like Santa Claus.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real \"plan-laugh.\")", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I think we killed it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Emma? Emma? Look at me! Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! It's okay, it's okay. I didn't go. Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your uncle Chandler; funny is all I have!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't do that.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Today is the sixth.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, it's not.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes, it's also 2003.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Tough crib.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I am not working. There's not much to do around here!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "We're okay. I'm still ovulating.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, let's do this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I - I don't think I can.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because of Emma.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Canoodling?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I can't say \"hump\" or \"screw\" in front of the B-A-B-Y.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Horrifying? Scarring? Something people go to jail for?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I guess you're right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, well, that's - that's very sweet. Thank you.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Really? What's that like?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Rach!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't care! This guy is a nightmare!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He's not stoned.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did he go out for a cigarette?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, four times.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My dear, sweet Rach.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "She's asleep. Chandler?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Emma was doing it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's asleep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but we have to be fast.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Emma? Hey! Hi!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Just the crab cakes.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What's - what's going on?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What? You - you're making money off my misery?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think we may have really done it this time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You may wanna get some more of those too.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Where's Emma?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (Runs out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Don't touch my coat!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my god, this is the worst date ever!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, did you stop by here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god, then...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? What do you mean, \"there you are\"? Where was she?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, we were playing \"peek-a-boo.\" She just she loves it when I'm dramatic.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Because you two were having sex!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, we weren't!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No, no, no.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, I gotta! Unless...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Unless what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Your family name is Tribbiani.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(BEAT) (Laughs.) You almost had me.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, uh...", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Really, really not.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, what's wrong?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I just had a rough night.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. Crab cake?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Eww!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, what happened?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica told me you had a blind date.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did, too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why does everyone keep saying that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That bad?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Female body inspector? What size is that?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Where?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mexico!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Can you believe they're still not here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "We've been stood up. (sniffles) And we want our free crab cakes.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What's your news?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(enthusiastic) That's great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, you did not come up with \"got milk?\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, I", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first day. (Monica smiles) ... and I smelled bacon. (taking some)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He just left.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(puzzled) Who did? (Monica looks bewildered)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Joey! You never gonna believe it", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(standing up, surprised) She did?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(enthusiastic) You got it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(still surprised) I did?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What is she talking about?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, but it sounds great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Your agent called. You got that audition.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With Lennart Haze?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, that is great! That is *** for a play on broadway and in a real theatre, not that little one underneath the dally like last time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is it a good play?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it must be, because I read and I didn't understand a singe word.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, and Lennart Haze is starring in it", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah, and directing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sighs) He was so good in that movie of MacBeth.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(disbelieving) You saw that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but I saw the previews. They played it right before Jackass.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, he's done some amazing works.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah. Oh, I loved him in those cell phone commercials.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(almost laughing) I know. When the monkey hits him in the face with that giant rubber phone. (They all laugh)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Maybe the monkey will be at the audition!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting down) Don't make me more nervous than I already am!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Good morning, everybody.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, no, no, I'm an intern, just like you guys except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, well, I'm kinda heading into a new career direction and, you know, you gotta start at the bottom.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Right. Look, I know I'm a little bit older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope (he sits down)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The comedian? USO?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "It is so amazing to meet you. (They are shaking hands) I'm such a big fan of your work.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Tell me about it! \"Unlimited nights and weekends!\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No, I-I-I wasn't making fun of you, honestly, I-I think you were great in those commercials.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(regaining confidence) Are you kiddin'? When they shoot you out of that cannon", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, yah, sure.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Err, \"I think you know\".", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "\"I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "\"I can't. Oh, I want to, long pause, but I can't.\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(understandingly) Oh, oh, I thought that was your character's name, you know, I thought you were like an Indian or something, you know with a (He mimes wearing a feather on his head)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah, y-y-you're sure you don't want me to do it again? I could do it with an accent, you know, Southern (He speaks in what he believes is a Southern accent) \"I could go right now, maaan!\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(interrupting their conversation) Ah, hi, ah. Thank you so much for whispering for my benefit, but, ah, look, if you just tell me what I did wrong, I'd just love to work on it and come back and try it again for you. And, and also", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I really doubt that.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(suggesting) Couldn't I just sleep with the producer?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, do you wanna go to dinner tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katy, yeah, I know we've been only going out like twice, but I have a really good feeling about her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I hear divorce bells.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(taken aback) What?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "O-ok. Just relax, Phoene, just stay calm. (He searches his coat and freaks out). Oh my god, I can't find my wallet.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(still in a high-pitched voice) What do you mean \"no\"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Lowell, is that you?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(simultaneously) Oh my god!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(excited) I'm sorry, Ross, this is my old friend Lowell from the streets. Lowell, Ross.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, a real pleasure.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, it's been so long, so long. (They hug again) I can't believe you're still doing this!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Good for you!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ouh (she nods)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) Oh my god. Phoebe, you used to mug people?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, how did the audition go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, they wanna see me again this afternoon, but, err, well, Lennart Haze did not like me. (He sits down)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What happened?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, he said I wasn't urgent enough, you know, and that everything I did was horizontal and I should be more vertical. Oh, and he said that I should think less.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So far so good! (Joey nods)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering, carrying a large box) Honey, I'm old!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(standing up, walking towards him) What's wrong?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I am so much older than these other interns. I can't compete with them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So you're a little older. Try to look at the positive", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, but I don't think life experience with these. (He opens the box and takes an inline skate-like sneaker out)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wooooooooow (He takes the sneaker) It's like they're on fire!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are they? (They sit down again)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They're these prototype sneakers and come up with ideas on how to sell them which I can't do because no self-respecting adult would ever where these.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(determined) I give you $ 500 for them!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What am I supposed to do with these?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, come on, sneakers are easy. You wear sneakers all the time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, first of all, they're not called \"sneakers\" anymore. Apparently, they're called \"kicks\" or \"skids\" and I think I heard somebody say \"slorps\". (He takes a sneaker) And here, look", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, have you considered using a girl with huge knockers?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I don't think that's the kinda thing they're looking for.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, that'd work on me! Why did I get to buy Mrs. Butterwords?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, you'll never guess what just happened Phoebe and I got mugged!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You okay?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting down) Yah, because Phoebe knew the mugger!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(bewildered) How do you know a mugger?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry I have friends outside the six of us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You wanna know how she knew him? (He points at Phoebe) Because Phoebe used to mug people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) Seriously?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know sometimes when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff I", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(disapproving) Phoebe, that is awful!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, ok, I wasn't rich like you guys, ok, I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony I had a hard life, my mother was killed by a drug dealer", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're mother killed herself!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She was a drug dealer!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, anyway, it was a good thing Phoebe knew the knew him, because (menacingly) I was about to do some serious damage!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughing) Okay", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, this must've brought back some really bad memories for you, Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Ross was mugged as a kid.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(worried) You were?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. I was outside St. Marc's Comics you know, I-I-I was just there minding my own business, you know, seeing what kinda trouble spiderman got into that week-", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(coughing) Wonderwoman!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery, you know, to pick up a couple of dozen Linzer torts for someone (He looks at Monica) when outta nowhere this thug with a pipe jumps out and says", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(shocked) Oh my god", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know! And-and the worst part was they took my backpack which had all the original artwork I had done for my own comic book", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah! What was his superpower again?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A superhuman thirst for knowledge.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I-I better get to class (He stands up) Are there any more of your friends I should look out for on my way, Phoebe?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane street that's where stabby Joe works.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I think we have a problem here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, uhm, back in my mugging days, you know, I, uhm, I worked St. Marc's Comics.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice and, uhm, pre-teen comic book nerds were my meat.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, there was this one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said-", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "\"Geology rocks!\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know I mugged Ross!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) I know, I'm sorry, but can I just have a quick second to run to the bathroom?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "But I'm bursting with u-hu!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What you got?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why are they doing this?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I just wish they'd realise they should be together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I know. And when they moved back in together, I figured y'know, that's where things were headed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, because it is slim pickings. I had this date last night", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know; that just pushes them further and further apart.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, that's a great plan!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my \"plan-laugh.\" (A maniacal laugh follows.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Shhh! Not so loud, we don't wanna wake up, uh...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why? What's the big deal?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What, slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You want a job? Turn off \"Oprah,\" and send out a resume!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So I'll bring her by around seven? Is that okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, it's perfect.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ooh, Joey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right! Who is he?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A teacher?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god, you're right!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She even reads for pleasure!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do you even know a woman like that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? I'm not allowed to know smart women?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I met her at the library. I went in to pee.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So now what do we do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, okay, I'll - I'll just call her and tell her the date's cancelled, and find him somebody else.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh...I hear that's bad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, yes, The Plan! (Laughs loudly again, but he sounds more like Santa Claus.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's not Santa's plan. No, it's... (Laughs the real \"plan-laugh.\")", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I think we killed it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Emma? Emma? Look at me! Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no! It's okay, it's okay. I didn't go. Don't cry, it's just a bit! I'm your uncle Chandler; funny is all I have!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't do that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Today is the sixth.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, it's not.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes, it's also 2003.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's okay. Go take the test and see if we're okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Tough crib.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, where are all my ovulation-sticks? There's only one here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I am not working. There's not much to do around here!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Excuse me, is there a woman waiting at the bar? Someone average height, dark hair, perhaps doing a puzzle?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Nah, I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I go home alone.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "We're okay. I'm still ovulating.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, let's do this.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I - I don't think I can.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because of Emma.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, she's aware when we leave the room. She may notice if we start... canoodling in it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Canoodling?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I can't say \"hump\" or \"screw\" in front of the B-A-B-Y.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Horrifying? Scarring? Something people go to jail for?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I guess you're right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow, everything looks so good! I think I'm gonna have the chicken.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, well, that's - that's very sweet. Thank you.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Really? What's that like?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hello?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Rach!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't care! This guy is a nightmare!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He's not stoned.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did he go out for a cigarette?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, four times.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My dear, sweet Rach.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, great, pretty soon they'll be back together.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "She's asleep. Chandler?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Emma was doing it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's asleep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but we have to be fast.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hello?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Emma? Hey! Hi!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How are ya? How are ya? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why's the bedroom door closed?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Just the crab cakes.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What's - what's going on?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What? You - you're making money off my misery?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think we may have really done it this time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You may wanna get some more of those too.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Where's Emma?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, where's Emma? Where's Emma?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. (Runs out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Don't touch my coat!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, sorry, it's my phone. Hello?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my god, this is the worst date ever!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, did you stop by here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my god, then...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? What do you mean, \"there you are\"? Where was she?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, we were playing \"peek-a-boo.\" She just she loves it when I'm dramatic.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Because you two were having sex!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, we weren't!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No, no, no.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, I gotta! Unless...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Unless what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Your family name is Tribbiani.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(BEAT) (Laughs.) You almost had me.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, uh...", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Really, really not.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, what's wrong?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I just had a rough night.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. Crab cake?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Eww!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, what happened?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica told me you had a blind date.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did, too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why does everyone keep saying that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That bad?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Female body inspector? What size is that?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh-huh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, so they owe me like, three Phoebes.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Don't, don't do the plan-laugh.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "The first date we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "We're geniuses! Yeah, look at them, look at them, they're really bonding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah, they're falling in love all over again.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Where?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mexico!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Can you believe they're still not here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "We've been stood up. (sniffles) And we want our free crab cakes.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What's your news?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(enthusiastic) That's great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, you did not come up with \"got milk?\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, I", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first day. (Monica smiles) ... and I smelled bacon. (taking some)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He just left.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(puzzled) Who did? (Monica looks bewildered)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Joey! You never gonna believe it", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(standing up, surprised) She did?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(enthusiastic) You got it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(still surprised) I did?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What is she talking about?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, but it sounds great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Your agent called. You got that audition.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With Lennart Haze?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god, that is great! That is *** for a play on broadway and in a real theatre, not that little one underneath the dally like last time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is it a good play?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it must be, because I read and I didn't understand a singe word.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, and Lennart Haze is starring in it", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah, and directing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sighs) He was so good in that movie of MacBeth.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(disbelieving) You saw that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but I saw the previews. They played it right before Jackass.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, he's done some amazing works.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah. Oh, I loved him in those cell phone commercials.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(almost laughing) I know. When the monkey hits him in the face with that giant rubber phone. (They all laugh)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Maybe the monkey will be at the audition!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting down) Don't make me more nervous than I already am!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Good morning, everybody.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, no, no, I'm an intern, just like you guys except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, well, I'm kinda heading into a new career direction and, you know, you gotta start at the bottom.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Right. Look, I know I'm a little bit older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope (he sits down)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The comedian? USO?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "It is so amazing to meet you. (They are shaking hands) I'm such a big fan of your work.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Tell me about it! \"Unlimited nights and weekends!\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No, I-I-I wasn't making fun of you, honestly, I-I think you were great in those commercials.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(regaining confidence) Are you kiddin'? When they shoot you out of that cannon", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, yah, sure.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Err, \"I think you know\".", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "\"I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"I can't. Oh, I want to, long pause, but I can't.\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(understandingly) Oh, oh, I thought that was your character's name, you know, I thought you were like an Indian or something, you know with a (He mimes wearing a feather on his head)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah, y-y-you're sure you don't want me to do it again? I could do it with an accent, you know, Southern (He speaks in what he believes is a Southern accent) \"I could go right now, maaan!\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(interrupting their conversation) Ah, hi, ah. Thank you so much for whispering for my benefit, but, ah, look, if you just tell me what I did wrong, I'd just love to work on it and come back and try it again for you. And, and also", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I really doubt that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(suggesting) Couldn't I just sleep with the producer?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, do you wanna go to dinner tonight?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katy, yeah, I know we've been only going out like twice, but I have a really good feeling about her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I hear divorce bells.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(taken aback) What?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "O-ok. Just relax, Phoene, just stay calm. (He searches his coat and freaks out). Oh my god, I can't find my wallet.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(still in a high-pitched voice) What do you mean \"no\"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Lowell, is that you?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(simultaneously) Oh my god!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(excited) I'm sorry, Ross, this is my old friend Lowell from the streets. Lowell, Ross.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, a real pleasure.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, it's been so long, so long. (They hug again) I can't believe you're still doing this!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Good for you!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ouh (she nods)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) Oh my god. Phoebe, you used to mug people?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, how did the audition go?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, they wanna see me again this afternoon, but, err, well, Lennart Haze did not like me. (He sits down)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What happened?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, he said I wasn't urgent enough, you know, and that everything I did was horizontal and I should be more vertical. Oh, and he said that I should think less.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So far so good! (Joey nods)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering, carrying a large box) Honey, I'm old!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(standing up, walking towards him) What's wrong?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I am so much older than these other interns. I can't compete with them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So you're a little older. Try to look at the positive", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, but I don't think life experience with these. (He opens the box and takes an inline skate-like sneaker out)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wooooooooow (He takes the sneaker) It's like they're on fire!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are they? (They sit down again)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They're these prototype sneakers and come up with ideas on how to sell them which I can't do because no self-respecting adult would ever where these.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(determined) I give you $ 500 for them!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What am I supposed to do with these?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, come on, sneakers are easy. You wear sneakers all the time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, first of all, they're not called \"sneakers\" anymore. Apparently, they're called \"kicks\" or \"skids\" and I think I heard somebody say \"slorps\". (He takes a sneaker) And here, look", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, have you considered using a girl with huge knockers?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I don't think that's the kinda thing they're looking for.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, that'd work on me! Why did I get to buy Mrs. Butterwords?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, you'll never guess what just happened Phoebe and I got mugged!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You okay?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting down) Yah, because Phoebe knew the mugger!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(bewildered) How do you know a mugger?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry I have friends outside the six of us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You wanna know how she knew him? (He points at Phoebe) Because Phoebe used to mug people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) Seriously?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know sometimes when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff I", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(disapproving) Phoebe, that is awful!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, ok, I wasn't rich like you guys, ok, I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony I had a hard life, my mother was killed by a drug dealer", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're mother killed herself!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She was a drug dealer!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, anyway, it was a good thing Phoebe knew the knew him, because (menacingly) I was about to do some serious damage!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughing) Okay", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, this must've brought back some really bad memories for you, Ross.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Ross was mugged as a kid.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(worried) You were?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, it was pretty traumatic. I was outside St. Marc's Comics you know, I-I-I was just there minding my own business, you know, seeing what kinda trouble spiderman got into that week-", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(coughing) Wonderwoman!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery, you know, to pick up a couple of dozen Linzer torts for someone (He looks at Monica) when outta nowhere this thug with a pipe jumps out and says", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(shocked) Oh my god", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know! And-and the worst part was they took my backpack which had all the original artwork I had done for my own comic book", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah! What was his superpower again?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "A superhuman thirst for knowledge.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I-I better get to class (He stands up) Are there any more of your friends I should look out for on my way, Phoebe?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane street that's where stabby Joe works.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I think we have a problem here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, uhm, back in my mugging days, you know, I, uhm, I worked St. Marc's Comics.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice and, uhm, pre-teen comic book nerds were my meat.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, there was this one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said-", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "\"Geology rocks!\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my god!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know I mugged Ross!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) I know, I'm sorry, but can I just have a quick second to run to the bathroom?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "But I'm bursting with u-hu!", "role": "user" } ]