bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "(entering) Hey, you guys!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Guess what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I got a gig!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "See, thats why I could never be an actor. Because I cant say gig.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I cant say croissant. (realises) Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats the part?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on! Thats great.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, yeah. Its like my chance to give something back to the acting community.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(glares at him) I know!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not at these prices.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(lying down on a mattress) Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eh, Monica it, it feels so weird, y'know, Chandlers your friend... (hops onto the bed) Oh! Oh my God! Aw, all right take this bed, you can make other friends.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Ooh! How was teaching last night?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooooh, nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yay!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, so please, please, please, dont say anything to Chandler.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You want me to lie to Chandler?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is that a problem?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, youre ah, pretty good at this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men werent acting Christian enough.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ahh!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey now!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!!! Oww!! And Im bleeding.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! Oh! Oh!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow! And Im a vegetarian! All right, all right, well Im sorry, well put some ice on it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Kay, put your head back.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right. I cant see.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, I have ya. Oh God.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi Daddy!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You remember Ross.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Nice to see you again Dr. Green.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ugh, museum.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Its not a library...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So, Dr. Green, hows the old boat.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "It gives it a nice antiquey look.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! (picks up a knife and pretends to stab his heart.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Aw honey stop! Its not that bad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Thats Daddy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You really serve people sneezers?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well um, I dont.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thanks again, Dr. Green.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, ah, you dont need that.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh Daddy, no he didnt mean anything by that, he really didnt.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nothing I do means anything, really.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well Mr. Big Shot is better than wethead.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey-hey.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You bet! Whats the part?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. (Ross groans and rubs his neck) Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Im gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Pheebs, what are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im, Im freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldnt have! All right, I havent lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Um. yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, look, heres the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, Ill invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesnt work.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but thats why you have got to be the bigger man here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, well cant you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rachel one brunch is not gonna solve anything. You gotta face it, okay were never gonna get along.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, okay, okay. (hugs her) Ill get the bagels.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(sees the bed) Whats this?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Isnt it cool! Varoom! Varoom!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is not the bed I ordered!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, you mustve won like a contest or something!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Why is this car in my bedroom?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "When did I sign for it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you make brownies today?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Knock, knock.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Im going for sushi does anybody want.. (enters and sees the bed) Whoa-whoa, somebody missed the off ramp.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its Monicas bed. What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, well it this bed isnt new, how come there is plastic on the mattress?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sometimes I have bad dreams. (starts to break down, and Phoebe offers her, her hand to comfort her.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! That was good. That was...(points to his pocket) Tweezers?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Whoa. That was really good.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You told him to play the boxer gay!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I-I mightve said supergay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You totally screwed him over.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, youre this guys teacher. I mean how could you do this?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because, Monica, the guys so good, and I really, really want this part.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, if you really, really want it, then its okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(opening the door) Hi Daddy.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Dr. Green. How are you? (offers his hand, and Dr. Green puts his scarf on it.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Rachel) Okay, thats it, I cant take it anymore.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well thats his last name.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And his first name.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Its Robert Bobby.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "And um, excuse me, he helps me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh-ho please. Ask her how?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Argue with that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Its true, my right leg is two inches shorter.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I know that!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Im sorry, let her?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, would you ah, would you like some juice?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Excellent!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, Jester man, look we wanna see the king.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh-ho-kay, Im talking to the king. (starts to go to a back room)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, Im not gonna have one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, its just my tooth.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I cant see him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See that is the problem with invisible dentists.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why? Why cant you go to him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, what? Umm...what?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend Albino Bob.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And all these people actually died?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(trying to bite into an apple) Ow! Ow! (drops the apple in disgust.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, fine, fine, but if youre my next victim, dont come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I promise.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Although, dont feel like you cant visit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Itll kill him. I mean itll, itll just kill him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(looking out the window) Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. Its like a Play-Doo Fat Factory.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What did they do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, they painted over the word Sapien for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, lets just leave it at that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa! Wait! Hello! What about me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey, Ross?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ive got a science question.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hmm?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact Homo-sapien, is that why there extinct?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey, Im not judging.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hes not gonna say anything, because were not gonna tell him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were not?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No were not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, I like that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So were okay, were okay, were okay, (starts to exam Ben) arent we? No, were not okay, were not okay, theres a bump, theres a bump.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cannot push it in!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, were gonna need a distraction.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, okay, okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I got it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Or. We could put a hat on his head.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A hat! Yes! We need a hat.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We need a hat..", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh God, oh God, its sowed on though.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Give it. Give it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, its just like a bloodbath in here today.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Id really prefer a mountain bike.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(stopping him) No, no, you cant, you cant, okay, you cant, you cant buy her pearls, you just cant, you cant, you cant.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is the thing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "They were in his office.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im telling you man, I saw it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, well, youre wrong! Okay, youre wrong.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "It just makes more sense as an ensemble.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Besides, it takes the focus off the hat.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(running through the door) No! Oh! Youre alive! Youre alive!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didnt I?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well, well see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure, we have no money, go ahead.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hey! Youre not dead! Okay, see ya!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, I heard that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did he just say Monica bang?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-huh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(goes over and hits her head on the post) Look at that! (repeats) Look at that! (repeats) We all do it. (repeats) Okay, Im stopping now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah! Y'know, if its not a headboard, its just not worth it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "All right!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No! In his office! How many kisses were there?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(giving her a bag) Here.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(rushing in) Okay. If youre alive you answer your phone!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, Ben, I wont tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you dont tell about our little bonking incident.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You said number two.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I also said number one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know. (giggles harder)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey! Everyone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hows my little boy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hes perfect, hes never been better.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh thats right, thats what Id sound like if I exploded.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well maybe hes just taking a nap.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im tellin ya, he hasnt moved since this morning.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, we should call somebody.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isnt moving.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we have gotta find out if hes alive.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How are we gonna do that? Theres no way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Y'know how we ah, save all those chopsticks for no reason we get when we get Chinese food?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, now we got a reason.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, were fashioning a very long poking device.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey uh, whats a matter?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I talked to Janice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God, is she going back to him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you ah, what are you gonna do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know, y'know. What, what, would you do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it doesnt matter what I would do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, tell me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(confidently) I did!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica did it?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Monica?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I hope its still funny when youre in hell.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ill get the hat.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Then dont leave me!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohhh. Dont go.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No. No! No! No!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Hey, you guys!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Guess what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I got a gig!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "See, thats why I could never be an actor. Because I cant say gig.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I cant say croissant. (realises) Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whats the part?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, its not a part, no. Im teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on! Thats great.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, yeah. Its like my chance to give something back to the acting community.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(glares at him) I know!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not at these prices.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sees a little kid playing with a race car bed) (to kid) Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. (the kid just stares at her, and she makes the that went right over your head motion) Woo!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(lying down on a mattress) Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Eh, Monica it, it feels so weird, y'know, Chandlers your friend... (hops onto the bed) Oh! Oh my God! Aw, all right take this bed, you can make other friends.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey! Ooh! How was teaching last night?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ooooh, nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yay!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, so please, please, please, dont say anything to Chandler.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You want me to lie to Chandler?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is that a problem?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, youre ah, pretty good at this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men werent acting Christian enough.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ahh!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey now!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!!! Oww!! And Im bleeding.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! Oh! Oh!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, great.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow! And Im a vegetarian! All right, all right, well Im sorry, well put some ice on it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Kay, put your head back.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right. I cant see.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, I have ya. Oh God.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi Daddy!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You remember Ross.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Nice to see you again Dr. Green.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ugh, museum.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, if youre really hungry. (Dr. Green stares at him) It was a joke, I made a joke.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Its not a library...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So, Dr. Green, hows the old boat.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "It gives it a nice antiquey look.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow. Im sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. (Rachel giggles at that)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! (picks up a knife and pretends to stab his heart.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Aw honey stop! Its not that bad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Thats Daddy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You really serve people sneezers?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well um, I dont.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thanks again, Dr. Green.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, ah, you dont need that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh Daddy, no he didnt mean anything by that, he really didnt.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nothing I do means anything, really.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well Mr. Big Shot is better than wethead.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey-hey.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Awww, one of my students got an audition. Im so proud.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You bet! Whats the part?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. (Ross groans and rubs his neck) Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Im gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey Pheebs, what are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im, Im freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldnt have! All right, I havent lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Um. yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, look, heres the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, Ill invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesnt work.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but thats why you have got to be the bigger man here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, well cant you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rachel one brunch is not gonna solve anything. You gotta face it, okay were never gonna get along.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, okay, okay. (hugs her) Ill get the bagels.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(sees the bed) Whats this?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Isnt it cool! Varoom! Varoom!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is not the bed I ordered!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, you mustve won like a contest or something!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Why is this car in my bedroom?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "When did I sign for it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you make brownies today?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Knock, knock.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Im going for sushi does anybody want.. (enters and sees the bed) Whoa-whoa, somebody missed the off ramp.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its Monicas bed. What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, well it this bed isnt new, how come there is plastic on the mattress?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sometimes I have bad dreams. (starts to break down, and Phoebe offers her, her hand to comfort her.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow! That was good. That was...(points to his pocket) Tweezers?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Whoa. That was really good.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You told him to play the boxer gay!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I-I mightve said supergay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You totally screwed him over.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, youre this guys teacher. I mean how could you do this?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because, Monica, the guys so good, and I really, really want this part.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, if you really, really want it, then its okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(opening the door) Hi Daddy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dr. Green. How are you? (offers his hand, and Dr. Green puts his scarf on it.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Rachel) Okay, thats it, I cant take it anymore.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, look Im sorry. Its just that....", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well thats his last name.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And his first name.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Its Robert Bobby.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "And um, excuse me, he helps me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh-ho please. Ask her how?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "With my alignment. Ive got one leg shorter than the other.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Argue with that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Its true, my right leg is two inches shorter.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I know that!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Im sorry, let her?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, would you ah, would you like some juice?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Excellent!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, Jester man, look we wanna see the king.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh-ho-kay, Im talking to the king. (starts to go to a back room)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! (makes a screeching sound as he pretends to stomp on the brakes.) Hey-hey good lookin! (honks the beds little horn on the steering wheel.) Varrrrrrrrroom. (notices Rachel and stops) All right, Ill leave. My beds so boring.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, Im not gonna have one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, its just my tooth.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So whats a matter, you need a dentist? Ive got a good one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I cant see him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See that is the problem with invisible dentists.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why? Why cant you go to him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, what? Umm...what?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend Albino Bob.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And all these people actually died?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(trying to bite into an apple) Ow! Ow! (drops the apple in disgust.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, fine, fine, but if youre my next victim, dont come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I promise.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Although, dont feel like you cant visit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Itll kill him. I mean itll, itll just kill him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(looking out the window) Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. Its like a Play-Doo Fat Factory.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What did they do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, they painted over the word Sapien for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, lets just leave it at that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa! Wait! Hello! What about me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey, Ross?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ive got a science question.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hmm?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact Homo-sapien, is that why there extinct?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey, Im not judging.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(holding Ben) Look Benny, spoon. (moves it back and forth) Spoon. Come on! All right, y'know what I think hes bored.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hes not gonna say anything, because were not gonna tell him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were not?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No were not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, I like that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So were okay, were okay, were okay, (starts to exam Ben) arent we? No, were not okay, were not okay, theres a bump, theres a bump.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cannot push it in!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, were gonna need a distraction.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, okay, okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I got it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Or. We could put a hat on his head.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A hat! Yes! We need a hat.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We need a hat..", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh God, oh God, its sowed on though.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Give it. Give it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, its just like a bloodbath in here today.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Id really prefer a mountain bike.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, you want something serious. Y'know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(stopping him) No, no, you cant, you cant, okay, you cant, you cant buy her pearls, you just cant, you cant, you cant.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is the thing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(shocked) What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "They were in his office.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im telling you man, I saw it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, well, youre wrong! Okay, youre wrong.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "It just makes more sense as an ensemble.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Besides, it takes the focus off the hat.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(running through the door) No! Oh! Youre alive! Youre alive!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didnt I?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well, well see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure, we have no money, go ahead.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hey! Youre not dead! Okay, see ya!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, I heard that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did he just say Monica bang?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-huh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! Hes gonna rat me out!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(goes over and hits her head on the post) Look at that! (repeats) Look at that! (repeats) We all do it. (repeats) Okay, Im stopping now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah! Y'know, if its not a headboard, its just not worth it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "All right!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No! In his office! How many kisses were there?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wh-wh-why, wh-why, why, why was there kissing!? There should be no kissing!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(giving her a bag) Here.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(rushing in) Okay. If youre alive you answer your phone!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, Ben, I wont tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you dont tell about our little bonking incident.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You said number two.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I also said number one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know. (giggles harder)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey! Everyone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hows my little boy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hes perfect, hes never been better.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh thats right, thats what Id sound like if I exploded.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Woo-Hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know, and everyone is alive.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well maybe hes just taking a nap.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im tellin ya, he hasnt moved since this morning.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, we should call somebody.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isnt moving.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, we have gotta find out if hes alive.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How are we gonna do that? Theres no way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Y'know how we ah, save all those chopsticks for no reason we get when we get Chinese food?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, now we got a reason.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, were fashioning a very long poking device.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey uh, whats a matter?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I talked to Janice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God, is she going back to him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you ah, what are you gonna do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know, y'know. What, what, would you do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it doesnt matter what I would do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, tell me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its okay if he bumps his head, kids bump their heads all the time, y'know, it was your first time babysitting, I figured you did the best you could.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(confidently) I did!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica did it?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Monica?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Umm, did you notice anything wierd about Ben today?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I hope its still funny when youre in hell.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ill get the hat.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Then dont leave me!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohhh. Dont go.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No. No! No! No!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!", "role": "assistant" } ]