bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Because its our thirtieth birthday.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah. What?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Nu-uh!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You have your birth certificate?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Our mom.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Do you have my birth certificate?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(reading the certificate) Oh my God! Oh my God, we are 31.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I just lost a whole year of my life.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Your middle name is Pamela?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats my first name.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(sees someone) Paul!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(correcting her) Phil.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phil!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, whats going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monicas a little drunk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yay! I love drunk Monica!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Awwwww (Giggles.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monicas wasted.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe that will liven up this party.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ahh!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(opening it) A scooter! (Shes not happy.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Tag) Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no! That was the joke!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, because youre not a grandmother!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All you had to do was buy the card!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Look whos back! Its the birthday girl! Hows the birthday girl feeling?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I feel fine, but I think youre bumming out the rest of the kids.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Will you quit hoggin it!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Monica) How are you feeling?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I really wish that you wouldnt.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(clinking two glasses together) Speech! Speech! Lets hear from the birthday girl! Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Come on!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I think its necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(screaming) Wooo!! Hoo!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! II havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Like what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh man!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hes gonna eat the cake!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, and plus Im 1/16th Portuguese.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! (Phoebe walks away smiling.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, is everybody clear? Were gonna pick it upand move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? Were gonna lift the carand slide it out. Lift and slide!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, I really dont think", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting her) Lift!! And slide!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, here we go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey Joey, can I", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whatever! Okay, Im not your mother.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! (Runs off downstairs.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not in the street!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Tag) Hi.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, Im doing okay. Im umlets talk.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Umm", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ohh Tag, ummyoure such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, Im sorry. (They hug.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Howd it go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You did the right thing.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, here we are, just a bunch of thirty year olds.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes! My babys finally free!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All-all right! (They run and jump in the car.) Start it up! Lets go!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(starting it) Woohoo!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You wanna buy a car?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(starting to cry) Ohh", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats the matter? You okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, its just yknow", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Ross) Monica said wedding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! I would love to read a poem.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you think you could get through a poem?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(crying) Itll be a short one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohhh", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Too?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you mind telling us what it is?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sorry, Im kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. (Winks in a spy-type manner.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering, excited) Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is DOOL?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, youre not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats great!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And-and-and not only that, Im gettin a new brain!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait, what do you mean youre getting a new brain?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? A brain transplant?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(seriously) Yes, its a highly controversial procedure.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its ridiculous!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who are they killing off?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh Cecilia Monroe, she plays Jessica Lockhart.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Shes my favorite character on DOOL.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And the way she slaps all the time!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dont do it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, tell me about it. And shes been on the show forever, its gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the \"brain transplant,\" you are going to be her?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah? Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, straight, and not subtle. (The man gets up and leaves.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, he left his cell phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? Wait! Whywhy do you get the story?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That wasnt a date! That was, that was just friends getting together(quietly) having sex.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didnt think Id love again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nice try.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well umm, maybe we could uhh (Grabs the phone) Ah-ha! Too slow!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ah-ha! Too cocky!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "That was a great scene! And-and-and that slap looks so real! How do you do that?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Say what?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No. No, Im Joey Tribbiani; we did a scene together yesterday. I-Im the guy in the coma!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(quickly) I dont know. Why? Did you hear something?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh uh, one of the writers.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Umm", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dont think so.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, I lost my mom to suicide.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did I use that already today? Im sorry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What is that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think its the dying cat parade.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It sounds like its coming from across the street.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(turning around and looking) Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, \"Youre half Scottish right?\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nooo!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why is your family Ross?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi Pheebs!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How are ya?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh, now you lost me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You stole the phone!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No I didnt!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That is a different phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That is damning evidence.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, Im the one who found your phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe! You cant do th", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You do know that I will be here when he comes over.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh? And how will you know what time to come over?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You just said it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would justbe alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?! Thats the first time today!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! (Exits.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "See you in 2003. (She walks away.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-yel-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, Im really nervous about-about being you. Yknow if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Yknow? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Now, Ive been watching some tapes, hows this? (In a British accent.) \"Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again! Ever!!\"", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I feel like a snack!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no thanks. I dont like any thing from my Scottish heritage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well its just my entire family was run out of Scotland byVikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. (Makes a few unintelligible noises.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How did you know about that?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We heard you play all the way from your apartment!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were you the ones called the cops?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because we hate them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We have heard you play.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay! (He scurries out the set door and re-enters, extremely impressed) All right!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. Okay. (He goes out and comes back in, glaring at everything.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh wellHey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Yknow? Itll-itll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. Youre so talented.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey thats not true! Look at uh, look at Angela LansbAngelina Jolie!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Like-like what?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(impressed) Wow!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, \"Boy, she-she is a great actress!\" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, \"She is hot!\"", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You own the room. (She smiles and stares longingly into his eyes.) We should probably get-get uh", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that cause shes so passionate?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Hey!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well why shouldnt I?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because its my apartment!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. All right. (Hands her the phone.) Good luck explaining all the calls to China.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Is-is he coming? (Looks hopefully out the door.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Could you-could you umm, give us one second?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well be right back sir.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wh-what do we do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! (Realizes what Phoebe said.) What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Youre such a great friend!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(whispering) Nice!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(shrugs) Sure. Yep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "God. You seem really, really nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, bye-bye.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Because its our thirtieth birthday.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah. What?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Nu-uh!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You have your birth certificate?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Our mom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Do you have my birth certificate?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(reading the certificate) Oh my God! Oh my God, we are 31.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I just lost a whole year of my life.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Your middle name is Pamela?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats my first name.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yay!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(sees someone) Paul!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(correcting her) Phil.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phil!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, whats going on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monicas a little drunk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yay! I love drunk Monica!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Awwwww (Giggles.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Whats-whats going on? Phils really pissed!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monicas wasted.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe that will liven up this party.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ahh!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(opening it) A scooter! (Shes not happy.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Tag) Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! Its better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) Thats funny, yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no! That was the joke!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(crying) No, I know! I get it! Its funny!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, because youre not a grandmother!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All you had to do was buy the card!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Look whos back! Its the birthday girl! Hows the birthday girl feeling?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I feel fine, but I think youre bumming out the rest of the kids.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Will you quit hoggin it!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(To Chandler) Im telling you its like watching Bambi learn how to walk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Monica) How are you feeling?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I really wish that you wouldnt.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(clinking two glasses together) Speech! Speech! Lets hear from the birthday girl! Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pheebs!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Come on!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I think its necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(screaming) Wooo!! Hoo!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! II havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Like what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? Ill see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh man!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hes gonna eat the cake!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, and plus Im 1/16th Portuguese.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! (Phoebe walks away smiling.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, is everybody clear? Were gonna pick it upand move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? Were gonna lift the carand slide it out. Lift and slide!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ross, I really dont think", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting her) Lift!! And slide!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, here we go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey Joey, can I", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whatever! Okay, Im not your mother.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay! (Runs off downstairs.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not in the street!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Tag) Hi.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, Im doing okay. Im umlets talk.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Umm", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohh Tag, ummyoure such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, Im sorry. (They hug.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Howd it go?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You did the right thing.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, here we are, just a bunch of thirty year olds.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "God, do you realize in ten years were gonna be 40?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes! My babys finally free!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All-all right! (They run and jump in the car.) Start it up! Lets go!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(starting it) Woohoo!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You wanna buy a car?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Im glad youre here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(starting to cry) Ohh", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats the matter? You okay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, its just yknow", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Ross) Monica said wedding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh! I would love to read a poem.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you think you could get through a poem?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(crying) Itll be a short one.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohhh", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Too?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you mind telling us what it is?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sorry, Im kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. (Winks in a spy-type manner.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering, excited) Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is DOOL?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, youre not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats great!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And-and-and not only that, Im gettin a new brain!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait, what do you mean youre getting a new brain?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? A brain transplant?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(seriously) Yes, its a highly controversial procedure.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its ridiculous!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Who are they killing off?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh Cecilia Monroe, she plays Jessica Lockhart.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Shes my favorite character on DOOL.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And the way she slaps all the time!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Dont do it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, tell me about it. And shes been on the show forever, its gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the \"brain transplant,\" you are going to be her?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah? Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, straight, and not subtle. (The man gets up and leaves.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, he left his cell phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? Wait! Whywhy do you get the story?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That wasnt a date! That was, that was just friends getting together(quietly) having sex.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didnt think Id love again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nice try.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well umm, maybe we could uhh (Grabs the phone) Ah-ha! Too slow!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ah-ha! Too cocky!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "That was a great scene! And-and-and that slap looks so real! How do you do that?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Say what?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No. No, Im Joey Tribbiani; we did a scene together yesterday. I-Im the guy in the coma!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(quickly) I dont know. Why? Did you hear something?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh uh, one of the writers.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Umm", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dont think so.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but Id bet youd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh, I lost my mom to suicide.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did I use that already today? Im sorry.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I think its the dying cat parade.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It sounds like its coming from across the street.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(turning around and looking) Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, \"Youre half Scottish right?\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nooo!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why is your family Ross?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi Pheebs!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How are ya?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh, now you lost me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You stole the phone!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No I didnt!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That is a different phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That is damning evidence.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, Im the one who found your phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe! You cant do th", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You do know that I will be here when he comes over.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh? And how will you know what time to come over?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You just said it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would justbe alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Phoebe!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?! Thats the first time today!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! (Exits.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "See you in 2003. (She walks away.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-yel-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, Im really nervous about-about being you. Yknow if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Yknow? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Now, Ive been watching some tapes, hows this? (In a British accent.) \"Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again! Ever!!\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I feel like a snack!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no thanks. I dont like any thing from my Scottish heritage.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well its just my entire family was run out of Scotland byVikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. (Makes a few unintelligible noises.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How did you know about that?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We heard you play all the way from your apartment!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Were you the ones called the cops?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because we hate them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We have heard you play.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay! (He scurries out the set door and re-enters, extremely impressed) All right!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. Okay. (He goes out and comes back in, glaring at everything.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh wellHey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Yknow? Itll-itll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. Youre so talented.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey thats not true! Look at uh, look at Angela LansbAngelina Jolie!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Like-like what?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(impressed) Wow!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, \"Boy, she-she is a great actress!\" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, \"She is hot!\"", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You own the room. (She smiles and stares longingly into his eyes.) We should probably get-get uh", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that cause shes so passionate?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Hey!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well why shouldnt I?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because its my apartment!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. All right. (Hands her the phone.) Good luck explaining all the calls to China.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Is-is he coming? (Looks hopefully out the door.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Could you-could you umm, give us one second?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well be right back sir.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wh-what do we do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I dont know!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know! (Realizes what Phoebe said.) What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! Youre such a great friend!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ohh", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(whispering) Nice!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monicas.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(shrugs) Sure. Yep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "God. You seem really, really nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, bye-bye.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.", "role": "assistant" } ]