bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "Ohh, then no. Maybe I should hear those specials again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You were right before. I mean, friends are so important.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(checking her watch) Yeah, Im very wise. I know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow-yknow what I really want?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes! I will have the lobster ravioli.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "God Joey, this is taking forever!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats the rush? What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "W-wI justits thatI haveyknow I have-I have an appointment. And its very important.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa-whoa, what is it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well Its a date.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldnt schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on Joey, dont make me feel badly about this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "ThatIts not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, hes very special to me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She was?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, she graduated from high school!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! (She exits.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I wouldnt miss this.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, youre such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! Were going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Are you eating the cheesecake without me?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(with a mouthful) Mm-mmm. (Nods no.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no-no-no-no-no, no you dont!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh yes! Oh yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You think I trust you with it?! No! Were gonna split it! You take half and I take half!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well thats not fair, youve already had some!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What do we use to split it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! (Grabs a knife and cuts it in half.) All right, pick a half.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh Theres more crust on this side. Yknow? So, maybe if I measured", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh for God sake just pick a piece!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, Ill pick that one. (Points.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(gloatingly and holding his piece) Ohhh!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, you gotta give me some of your piece.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and dont come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, hey Aunt Millie.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Heres Frannie. Hmm, wont she be happy to see me? (Starts to get up and great Frannie.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Frannie) Hi Frannie, congratulations.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats really beautiful. What does it mean?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Youre right! Youre right. Dont say it.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I do too. (They kiss.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(seeing him) Okay, nows not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! No! No Pheebs, Im not gonna yell at you. I just yknow, started thinking about you and David and Iremember how bummed you were the first time he left. And I just Oh Pheebs, come here. (He hugs her.) Are you okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No Im not okay. The only guy Ive ever been crazy about has gone to Minsk and I may neverI may never see him again. (Crying.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow you could always visit him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh right, like theyre gonna let me have a passport.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Anything I can do? Whatever you need.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "WellButNow, if-if you can achieve positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles yknow before he does, then he can come back. (They hug again.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can give it a shot.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Stick to your side!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, come on now!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh wait I forgot my wrap.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? Oh, okay. Wait here. (Goes to get it, but before he gets there Aunt Millie sits down on it forcing him to pull it out from behind her which gets her attention.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(looking up) Ross, whens this comet thing start?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay! Okay! Fine, Ill stop! No teaching, okay? Well just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. (Comets dont streak across the sky, meteors do.) Okay? Whos official name is Bapstein-King.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking up with her) Thats a plane!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, thats pretty amazing too.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "No. No, you cant.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh I dont-I dont know.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looking through his binoculars at a nearby building) Yknow what else makes you wonder?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(with a quivering voice) No, Im not!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Then why are you wearing Monicas jacket?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because its flattering! (Shivers harder) Come on Monica! Come on Monica! (He goes inside.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah actually, I think were gonna take off too. We rented a movie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh Pheebs, we just actually kinda wanted to be alone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shh! Get me out of here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. (They leave, leaving just Joey and Ross.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(whispering) Ross!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come here, check this out!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! No-no. Look, theres a bug stuck in tar right here. (Bends down to get a closer look.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(standing up) Yknow, theres two women dude.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Show me where?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Right-right up here. (Starts looking at them through a piece of pipe.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(noticing the pipe and looking at the door) Joey wheres the pipe that was holding the door open?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(annoyed) I dont know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.) (Pause) Yeah, I do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? (Joey starts to groan.) Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(covering his ears and yelling) Oh no! No! No! (He starts banging on the door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(whispering) Monica!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shes sleeping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, just quick-quick question, quick question. Which one was Deep Impact and which one was Armageddon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is whats going to happen to you if you wake me up.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sorry, I justcant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like(Fake snores.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Dont interrupt me!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Rachel!! Monica!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I cant believe this!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right well, yknowI guess we know what we have to do to get down.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we dont have a choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! Were stuck up on the roof and we cant get down!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Shhhhhhhhh!!! (Monica enters) Im sorry, I thought maybe Id make some warm milk and it would help me sleep.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here, let me make the milk, Im up anyway.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay that does sound like fun.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The second sister dies?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Pause) No. No, I-I was, I was talking about the book I was reading.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats correct.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You wanna go in the bedroom? Its a little more comfortable.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes I did! And I put a little Post-It on it that said, \"Must go out today,\" and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in the corner because I didnt want to seem to bossy.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No! Come on its late, were not gonna go down to the office.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, it wont go down any further. Its stuck.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down thereyou go up to the roof and you let me in.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What if I smack my head on the concrete?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, Im gonna lie to you Joey, its a possibility.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. Well, you be careful.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well Im jumping! I have a son! Okay? He wont have a father if-if I die!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well all right so, it looks like were even!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(startled) What? What? What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, \"Must go out today.\" So you just keep looking in there! All right?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why dont you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I dont know Tag! How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay? Its not a perfect world! Just go please.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Are you still awake?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! You?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You do know that was me who just said that right? (He doesnt respond and she turns on the light, waking him.) Hey. As long as were both up", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! \"Do you want soup or salad?\" Both! Always order both!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looking in the window behind them) Yknow, yknow Im lookin and I dont think anyones home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and yknow explain later.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah? Really? No ones home?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What?! What are you doing?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you know what just happened?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. We-we had sex and then we fell asleep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. We were in the middle of sexand you fell asleep.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(turning the light back on) Monica?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Okay, Im ready. Come on big fella!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Give me the good stuff.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, Im up! Im up!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check all the drawers!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(thinks) Yknow, I dont-I dont know. Let me, let me check. (As she heads for her office, she stops glances over her should at Tag, looks into her office, and finds the folder on her desk.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Can I see you in my office for a minute?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You put these on my desk!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God! How did you get back here?!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Thats not mine.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "How do you know?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Fine! (She takes the blanket.) But please God; tell me how to stop them from going off!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, do-do you have a good grip?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right! Just hurry up!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think face to face.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would say that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Face to face, yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, here I go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So what do you want me to do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, just shimmy down me and drop!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(angrily) Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its still looks pretty far!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its not that far! Just drop!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do not rush me!!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oww!! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when IOoh, a quarter!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "That really was some of your best work.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have to be up in seven minutes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, youre not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you wanna?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and Ill get the furniture polish!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, yknow I was thinking of moving the couch over here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughs) Why would you want to do that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, there is a decent place to", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And your lap does not count! Okay? Come on help me move this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. No. No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Rosita does not move.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im sorry, Rosita? As in", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "As in Rosita does not move.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, its just a chair! Whats the big deal?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Stevie the TV?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(glaring at her) Is there a problem?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, \"This is my brother-in-law Ross.\" Not, \"My friend Ross,\" \"brother-in-law Ross.\" Thats weird isnt it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Couldnt I just say, \"This is Ross?\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(disappointed) Sure, do whatever you want.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering, carrying a newspaper) Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look at this. (Hands him the newspaper.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic isOh my God!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? What happened to the window in the attic?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe mom and dad are selling the house!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe I still dont know what happened to the window in the attic!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(knocking on the window while outside) Sorry! (Runs off.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey, Joey I am so sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(slowly turning and glaring at her) Shes not even cold yet!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But dont you think Rosita wouldve wanted you to move on? I mean yknow, she did always putyour comfort first.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats true.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(grabbing her coat) Okay? You ready?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I (Shuts off the TV.) I dont want Stevie to see her like this.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, its time the velvet ropes came down.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They kept your room for a while.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, you know they love you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "As much as they love you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ugh, I hate this year!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats wrong with this year?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That was me and Ross.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh thats right!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh thats a great idea. Youre really good on the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, like you never called!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh well, all rightum, no offense, but you were kind of rude.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No. (Pause) Oh wait yes! I do, I do have one question. What is toner?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Dad?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering with Monica) Hey!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Dad, we-we cant believe youre selling the house.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ohh, then no. Maybe I should hear those specials again.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You were right before. I mean, friends are so important.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(checking her watch) Yeah, Im very wise. I know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yknow-yknow what I really want?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes! I will have the lobster ravioli.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "God Joey, this is taking forever!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats the rush? What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "W-wI justits thatI haveyknow I have-I have an appointment. And its very important.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa-whoa, what is it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well Its a date.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldnt schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on Joey, dont make me feel badly about this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "ThatIts not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, hes very special to me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, well my girl from the other night was special. She was a scientist too!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She was?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, she graduated from high school!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Fine!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! (She exits.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, I wouldnt miss this.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, youre such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! Were going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Are you eating the cheesecake without me?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(with a mouthful) Mm-mmm. (Nods no.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I will give you a hundred dollars to whistle right now. (She tries to whistle and blows little chunks of cheesecake out of her mouth.) How can you eat the cheesecake without me?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh no-no-no-no-no, no you dont!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh yes! Oh yes!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You think I trust you with it?! No! Were gonna split it! You take half and I take half!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well thats not fair, youve already had some!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What do we use to split it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! (Grabs a knife and cuts it in half.) All right, pick a half.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh Theres more crust on this side. Yknow? So, maybe if I measured", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh for God sake just pick a piece!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, Ill pick that one. (Points.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(gloatingly and holding his piece) Ohhh!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, you gotta give me some of your piece.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and dont come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, hey Aunt Millie.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Heres Frannie. Hmm, wont she be happy to see me? (Starts to get up and great Frannie.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Frannie) Hi Frannie, congratulations.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats really beautiful. What does it mean?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Youre right! Youre right. Dont say it.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I do too. (They kiss.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(seeing him) Okay, nows not the time Joey. All right? You can yell at me tomorrow.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! No! No Pheebs, Im not gonna yell at you. I just yknow, started thinking about you and David and Iremember how bummed you were the first time he left. And I just Oh Pheebs, come here. (He hugs her.) Are you okay?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No Im not okay. The only guy Ive ever been crazy about has gone to Minsk and I may neverI may never see him again. (Crying.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow you could always visit him.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh right, like theyre gonna let me have a passport.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Anything I can do? Whatever you need.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "WellButNow, if-if you can achieve positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles yknow before he does, then he can come back. (They hug again.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I can give it a shot.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Stick to your side!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, come on now!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh wait I forgot my wrap.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? Oh, okay. Wait here. (Goes to get it, but before he gets there Aunt Millie sits down on it forcing him to pull it out from behind her which gets her attention.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(looking up) Ross, whens this comet thing start?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay! Okay! Fine, Ill stop! No teaching, okay? Well just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. (Comets dont streak across the sky, meteors do.) Okay? Whos official name is Bapstein-King.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking up with her) Thats a plane!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, thats pretty amazing too.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "No. No, you cant.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh I dont-I dont know.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looking through his binoculars at a nearby building) Yknow what else makes you wonder?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(with a quivering voice) No, Im not!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Then why are you wearing Monicas jacket?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because its flattering! (Shivers harder) Come on Monica! Come on Monica! (He goes inside.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah actually, I think were gonna take off too. We rented a movie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh Pheebs, we just actually kinda wanted to be alone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shh! Get me out of here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. (They leave, leaving just Joey and Ross.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(whispering) Ross!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come here, check this out!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? Is it the comet? (Runs over to where Joeys standing.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! No-no. Look, theres a bug stuck in tar right here. (Bends down to get a closer look.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(standing up) Yknow, theres two women dude.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Show me where?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Right-right up here. (Starts looking at them through a piece of pipe.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(noticing the pipe and looking at the door) Joey wheres the pipe that was holding the door open?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(annoyed) I dont know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.) (Pause) Yeah, I do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Joey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its called the Bapstein-King comet, okay? (Joey starts to groan.) Hey! Hey! Bapstein was a very well respected astronomer!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(covering his ears and yelling) Oh no! No! No! (He starts banging on the door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(whispering) Monica!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Shes sleeping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, just quick-quick question, quick question. Which one was Deep Impact and which one was Armageddon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is whats going to happen to you if you wake me up.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sorry, I justcant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like(Fake snores.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Dont interrupt me!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Rachel!! Monica!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I cant believe this!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right well, yknowI guess we know what we have to do to get down.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we dont have a choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! Were stuck up on the roof and we cant get down!!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Shhhhhhhhh!!! (Monica enters) Im sorry, I thought maybe Id make some warm milk and it would help me sleep.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Here, let me make the milk, Im up anyway.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay that does sound like fun.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The second sister dies?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(Pause) No. No, I-I was, I was talking about the book I was reading.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The second sister dies in Archie and Jughead Double Digest?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats correct.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You wanna go in the bedroom? Its a little more comfortable.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes I did! And I put a little Post-It on it that said, \"Must go out today,\" and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in the corner because I didnt want to seem to bossy.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No! Come on its late, were not gonna go down to the office.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, it wont go down any further. Its stuck.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down thereyou go up to the roof and you let me in.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What if I smack my head on the concrete?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, Im gonna lie to you Joey, its a possibility.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. Well, you be careful.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well Im jumping! I have a son! Okay? He wont have a father if-if I die!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well all right so, it looks like were even!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(startled) What? What? What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, \"Must go out today.\" So you just keep looking in there! All right?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why dont you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I dont know Tag! How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay? Its not a perfect world! Just go please.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Are you still awake?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah! You?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You do know that was me who just said that right? (He doesnt respond and she turns on the light, waking him.) Hey. As long as were both up", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! \"Do you want soup or salad?\" Both! Always order both!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(looking in the window behind them) Yknow, yknow Im lookin and I dont think anyones home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and yknow explain later.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah? Really? No ones home?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What?! What are you doing?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you know what just happened?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. We-we had sex and then we fell asleep.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. We were in the middle of sexand you fell asleep.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(turning the light back on) Monica?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Okay, Im ready. Come on big fella!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Give me the good stuff.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, Im up! Im up!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check all the drawers!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(thinks) Yknow, I dont-I dont know. Let me, let me check. (As she heads for her office, she stops glances over her should at Tag, looks into her office, and finds the folder on her desk.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can I see you in my office for a minute?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You put these on my desk!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God! How did you get back here?!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Thats not mine.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "How do you know?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Fine! (She takes the blanket.) But please God; tell me how to stop them from going off!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, do-do you have a good grip?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right! Just hurry up!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think face to face.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I would say that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Face to face, yeah!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, here I go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So what do you want me to do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, just shimmy down me and drop!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(angrily) Yeah? Maybe we should talk about that for a little while!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Its still looks pretty far!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its not that far! Just drop!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do not rush me!!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oww!! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when IOoh, a quarter!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "That really was some of your best work.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I have to be up in seven minutes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, youre not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Do you wanna?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and Ill get the furniture polish!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, yknow I was thinking of moving the couch over here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(laughs) Why would you want to do that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rach, there is a decent place to", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And your lap does not count! Okay? Come on help me move this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. No. No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Rosita does not move.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Im sorry, Rosita? As in", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "As in Rosita does not move.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, its just a chair! Whats the big deal?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Stevie the TV?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(glaring at her) Is there a problem?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, \"This is my brother-in-law Ross.\" Not, \"My friend Ross,\" \"brother-in-law Ross.\" Thats weird isnt it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Couldnt I just say, \"This is Ross?\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(disappointed) Sure, do whatever you want.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering, carrying a newspaper) Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look at this. (Hands him the newspaper.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic isOh my God!!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? What happened to the window in the attic?!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe mom and dad are selling the house!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I cant believe they-they didnt even tell us!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant believe I still dont know what happened to the window in the attic!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(knocking on the window while outside) Sorry! (Runs off.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey, Joey I am so sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(slowly turning and glaring at her) Shes not even cold yet!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But dont you think Rosita wouldve wanted you to move on? I mean yknow, she did always putyour comfort first.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats true.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(grabbing her coat) Okay? You ready?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, I (Shuts off the TV.) I dont want Stevie to see her like this.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, its time the velvet ropes came down.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "They kept your room for a while.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, you know they love you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "As much as they love you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ugh, I hate this year!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whats wrong with this year?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That was me and Ross.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh thats right!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh thats a great idea. Youre really good on the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, like you never called!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh well, all rightum, no offense, but you were kind of rude.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No. (Pause) Oh wait yes! I do, I do have one question. What is toner?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Dad?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering with Monica) Hey!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Dad, we-we cant believe youre selling the house.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(To Monica) Lets grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.", "role": "user" } ]