id large_string | author large_string | title large_string | selftext large_string | score int64 | log_score float64 | num_comments int64 | created_at timestamp[us] | num_tokens int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1536jv0 | sulldanivan | I went on safari with a guide that had a speech impediment. When I asked him what kind of hat he wore he said “Pith Helmet.” | Later on when he said his helmet was wet and stinky I said: “that’s because I pithed in it!” | 2 | 0.693147 | 1 | 2023-07-18T18:39:58 | 57 |
x9cluu | Linktzin | Queen Elizabeth arrives to Heaven ... | St Peter lets her in and gives her a tour around the heavenly garden.
-Here are all your family members, previous pets and people of historical significance during your reign.
Liz looks around this multitude of people who wave at her, smiling. Suddenly she stops and calls St.Peter aside.
-What the F***?, Diana h... | 1,260 | 7.138867 | 122 | 2022-09-08T21:38:56 | 133 |
141tzj5 | Buddy2269 | A little test for you. | This test will predict which of the 18 films listed below is your favourite. Don't ask me how, but it really works!
Don't cheat and look at the film list till you have done the maths!
Here goes...
Film Test:
Pick a number from 1-9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Multiply by 3 again.
Now add the two digits you end up wit... | 36 | 3.583519 | 16 | 2023-06-05T22:19:12 | 266 |
youdmp | crashymccrashins | Helpers | I have 2 helpers at work we nicknamed Houdini and magic mike because when you give them a job they disappear. | 5 | 1.609438 | 0 | 2022-11-07T17:44:18 | 26 |
wrr7zx | 2feetinthegrave | Do you want to hear a joke about nihilism? | Actually, never mind - it doesn't matter. | 10 | 2.302585 | 2 | 2022-08-18T18:39:52 | 21 |
12wjriu | chopselmcity | I was a doctor in the navy and my specialty was proctology. | I always got behind in my work, but I eventually attained the rank of Rear Admiral. | 18 | 2.890372 | 3 | 2023-04-23T17:48:29 | 33 |
11tzqu7 | kindest_asshole | A couple not-so-bright carpenters are framing a house. | Worker A notices worker B is wasting a lot of nails. He’ll pull one out, hammer it in, pull another and toss it, toss another, then hammer one in. And this goes on for a bit.
Worker A says to worker B, “hey, how come you keep tossing dem nails?”
Worker B responds, “they’re defective; they got da point on the wrong ... | 8 | 2.079442 | 0 | 2023-03-17T18:40:32 | 115 |
we3us2 | BakerAnnual5453 | I just retired. | But I've been watching so much TV I consider myself a Remote Worker | 25 | 3.218876 | 2 | 2022-08-02T06:03:08 | 18 |
19df6d6 | Joel_Boyens | God is standing at the pearly gates allowing passed souls to enter heaven when suddenly he accidentally sends one of the souls to Hell. | He sighs as he mutters under his breath, "God damn it." | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-01-23T03:44:15 | 43 |
11t8z2m | 2E26 | George W. Bush once asked some visiting Europeans to leave his family farm after they haggled him on a jar of jam. | He doesn't negotiate with tourists. | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2023-03-16T22:50:00 | 33 |
1ccn7ja | 2225ns | Drank guy in a bar. | A man was in a bar all day and had to use the bathroom.
He was in there for a while, yelling every now and then, so the barmaid reluctantly went to check on him.
"Sir, what are you yelling about? You're scaring the other customers."
"Every time I try to flush the toilet, something keeps biting my balls!"
"Sir, plea... | 713 | 6.569481 | 33 | 2024-04-25T08:59:38 | 90 |
rmw7e5 | AdvaitChowdhary | What's the difference between a cop and a bullet? | When a bullet kills someone, you know it's been fired. | 14,851 | 9.605822 | 645 | 2021-12-23T13:56:22 | 24 |
u9gflx | OGPrinnny | A Canadian visits America and gets held at gunpoint by a stranger | The stranger says, "give me all your money and I'll let you live!"
The Canadian replies gleefully, "Oh! You must be what they call a doctor!" | 14,930 | 9.611128 | 373 | 2022-04-22T14:49:36 | 48 |
uplndk | Hydro_Clhorene_Media | Euro is the best currency. | They named a continent after it. | 4 | 1.386294 | 1 | 2022-05-14T17:07:35 | 13 |
zbxoyy | Quidnip | My magnum opus, The Bird Joke | Once upon a time, there was a bird. This was not any ordinary bird however, as he was able to speak and understand English at a perfect level. For quite a while, he didn't use it much to his advantage. He was content simply flittering around and living peacefully with his bird wife. But one day, tragedy struck! Our bir... | 1 | 0 | 10 | 2022-12-04T02:14:57 | 1,843 |
y34gqt | Rukawork | I'm going as Cocaine for Halloween. | That way someone will do me in the bathroom. | 285 | 5.652489 | 25 | 2022-10-13T17:25:05 | 19 |
115sknj | blazingphoenix1997 | A woman boards a bus with her baby. | The bus driver looks at her baby and exclaims, "Yikes! That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
The woman, now obviously upset, walks to the back of the bus and finds a seat next to another man. She says, "I'm upset, the driver just insulted me!"
The man responds, "You shouldn't let anyone insult you. Go up there and... | 44 | 3.78419 | 5 | 2023-02-18T21:37:29 | 106 |
sro21q | Godisabaryonyx | Old army joke | A new captain becomes leader of a company of soldiers. As he goes about learning everything on how they do things he finds two soldiers guarding a bench. He asks his sergeants why they're guarding the bench and they say the previous commander ordered it. He calls the previous commander up, now a major, asking why he di... | 8,323 | 9.026778 | 194 | 2022-02-13T17:34:50 | 179 |
xq3jvc | KingOfTheLabRats | What the difference between a Redditor and a fisherman? | When a fisherman tells a story, there’s usually an element of truth to it. | 43 | 3.7612 | 6 | 2022-09-28T05:11:15 | 30 |
v8f6o4 | [deleted] | The inventor of Mad libs died | He was eighty POOP years old | 17 | 2.833213 | 2 | 2022-06-09T11:56:49 | 13 |
y2zbgf | hr_hitter253 | Fireplace! | Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace | 9 | 2.197225 | 0 | 2022-10-13T13:52:36 | 33 |
11s7eae | justaninternetbum | Joke my kid made up... | Q: What is the best milk in the world?
A: G.O.A.T milk | 21 | 3.044522 | 7 | 2023-03-15T19:58:05 | 25 |
16inu28 | PrinceJustice237 | What did the bookworm say to the librarian? | “Can I burrow this book, please?” | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2023-09-14T17:05:32 | 20 |
1di9cph | 8t0M1kW8v3 | There's a boy who lives with a Mom and a Dad | The Mom and the Dad get into an argument and file for a divorce.
The Mom gets to keep the kid, while the Dad gets to take his stuff and leave.
Before going to bed, the boy sees a shooting star in the sky and wishes for his mom and dad to be back together again.
The next morning, the boy goes downstairs to see his mo... | 88 | 4.477337 | 16 | 2024-06-17T21:20:26 | 132 |
sfklss | PositivePlan440 | what is a line? | Maths Teacher : What is a line?
Pappu : A line is a dot that's
going for a walk.
Teacher : Then what are
parallel lines?
Pappu : A dot going for a
walk with his
Girlfriend! | 2 | 0.693147 | 1 | 2022-01-29T15:39:43 | 56 |
1534zvy | Neat-Cold-7235 | You know what’s hotter than smoking? | The radiation that follows it | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2023-07-18T17:40:06 | 13 |
yp9924 | yacozaragoza | How is a woman similar to a hurricane? | When they come they are wet and wild. When they leave the take your house and your car.
Edit: spelling | 332 | 5.805135 | 44 | 2022-11-08T02:58:44 | 32 |
sh1ft1 | Major-Week428 | A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “What can I get you?” | “Pop,” goes the weasel | 494 | 6.202536 | 23 | 2022-01-31T13:38:03 | 26 |
188ffzx | Gaffergold | Tonight on TV: The Bubble Championships | Tune in for our blow-by-blow analysis | 7 | 1.94591 | 3 | 2023-12-01T16:03:49 | 16 |
ry1oq4 | Ginny-Sacks-Mole | A Johnny Carson joke I've never forgotten. | One of those memories that are shrapnel from another time.
Johnny: Boy, it's really cold outside.
Audience: HOW COLD IS IT!?
Johnny: Well it's so cold... I saw a flasher describe himself to someone. | 26 | 3.258097 | 4 | 2022-01-07T07:22:15 | 60 |
195ci1q | doofusmembrane | Lil Johnny | Lil Johnny was in his room playing with his train set saying” Train 509 leaving on track 12. All you bitches and bastards getting on get on. All you bitches and bastards getting off get off”.
His mother opens the door and says, “Johnny, what are you saying?” Johnny says,” that’s right lady, fuck around and fuck around... | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-01-13T01:58:20 | 89 |
10yyggk | Mikeg90805 | I don't believe in astrology | but thats probably because i'm a cancer. We're naturally skeptical | 6 | 1.791759 | 4 | 2023-02-10T18:02:51 | 19 |
t86ffd | cokendsmile | My 1st cake day, here’s my favourite joke for you all: | Graffiti artist writes on the wall: Person who wrote this is brilliant and person who read this is a idiot.
Dave (you know Dave, everybody knows Dave) who used to walk by this sign everyday got angrier and angrier whenever he read this sign.
So one day Dave got an amazing idea, so that night he went to that wall. He ... | 14 | 2.639057 | 2 | 2022-03-06T19:34:27 | 113 |
1g9z47m | garbage_in_a_hole | What do you call a group of Cybertrucks? | A herd of Musk Boxen. | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-10-23T01:47:45 | 18 |
11fr72r | TranscendentalRug | What do you call a very brief introduction to a Microsoft program? | A 4 word forward for Word. | 13 | 2.564949 | 6 | 2023-03-02T03:12:42 | 21 |
15suhyt | unbrokenwreck | If George Carlin, one of the die hard liberals was alive today | he'd be cancelled in a heartbeat. | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2023-08-16T16:23:53 | 22 |
11gyngj | go_zarian | What is the difference between a baseball and Prince William? | One is thrown to the air.
The other is heir to the throne. | 35 | 3.555348 | 7 | 2023-03-03T11:44:46 | 26 |
1521xtb | Different-Tie-1085 | particle physics... | ...Give me a Large Hadron. | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2023-07-17T13:26:00 | 11 |
u02w81 | Iamweird09 | What do you call a snowman made out of squares? | A snow woman, because they have no balls! | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2022-04-09T21:35:43 | 22 |
1c4xfi3 | kingaling49 | A joke to get your kids with... | Try this with your kids.
You: Will you remember me when I'm gone?
Kid: Of course
You: Will you remember me in 5 years?
Kid: yes
You: Will you remember me in 5 months?
Kid: yes
You: Will you remember me 5 minutes from now?
Kid: Yes
You: That really makes me Happy. Do you want to hear a joke?
Kid: Yes,... | 2 | 0.693147 | 1 | 2024-04-15T21:00:01 | 142 |
1dpu7lj | BouncyFrog32 | Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? | Because they're really fucking good at it. | 37 | 3.610918 | 11 | 2024-06-27T15:34:48 | 19 |
uunjpg | accounts_are_lame | I think my dad is obsessed with air circulation. | I looked on his search history and it was all for "only fans." Weird. | 7 | 1.94591 | 2 | 2022-05-21T13:51:20 | 27 |
rvjaow | AreTheWhenHowIsBe | What did the wave say to the other wave | Nothing they just waved | 0 | 0 | 8 | 2022-01-04T02:35:24 | 13 |
13hai6r | Built4thekill | Or else! | Timmy was a soft spoken mell-mannered lad and he was soon to be married to Jane. His mates were worried that, with his mild nature, he'd end up being dominated by his new spouse and had a plan to "show her who's the boss". Obviously Timmy thought that would be an appalling idea but finally gave in.
The wedding was a s... | 24 | 3.178054 | 4 | 2023-05-14T12:06:50 | 399 |
18ass67 | NotEntirelyEvil | A man prepares a meme... | He spell-checks and grammar-checks his meme carefully, confirms the template structure matches his message, and confidently hits "Post".
Satisfied with himself, he pushes back his leather office chair and declares to no one in particular:
"Well that's done! All that's left is to wait and read the illuminating, civil... | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-12-04T20:00:14 | 92 |
u00zl6 | BinkyBinky | Travelling salesman stops by a farm in Southern Ontario... | A travelling salesman stops by a farm in Southern Ontario... where the farmer has the requisite three beautiful daughters. As he walks up to the farm house he looks over the fence into the pig sty and he notices that one of the pigs has a wooden back leg and is hobbling around.
When he gets to the farmhouse he asks t... | 3 | 1.098612 | 1 | 2022-04-09T19:59:12 | 302 |
ubo3a1 | CullComic | A guy goes to the doctor... | "There's something wrong with me, doc." He says. "There's a leaf sticking out of my bum!"
"Lie down here and let me have a look.." the doctor says.
After a few minutes, he sits the patient back up.
"I have bad news." He says. "That leaf is only the tip of the iceberg." | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2022-04-25T15:43:24 | 77 |
u6ekgc | mean_mr_mustard75 | A woman walks into a bar.... | with a parrot on her shoulder, and sits down next to a drunk.
The drunk says "What an ugly pig.'
The woman says "that's a parrot'
The drunk says "I was talking to the parrot" | 19 | 2.944439 | 4 | 2022-04-18T14:33:16 | 54 |
1da4m3i | yIdontunderstand | I smoked a very weak joint and made love to my girl friend | I had finally figured out how to join the mild high club! | 6 | 1.791759 | 2 | 2024-06-07T07:06:45 | 28 |
uxn7nq | wimpykidfan37 | A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian, "The book I borrowed last week was just awful. It had absolutely no plot, and the vocabulary was too complex!" | The librarian calls into the back room, "Hey, we found the lady who took our dictionary!" | 19 | 2.944439 | 0 | 2022-05-25T18:03:15 | 56 |
16r85lj | Different-Tie-1085 | What does a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? | Both have a wet nose. | 1 | 0 | 19 | 2023-09-24T20:41:06 | 22 |
1hb1hu5 | bourbonpens | Got mugged on the way home last night. | I was mugged last night on my way home. This guy was pointing a knife at me, told me "your money or your life!"
I told him I am married... so I have no money and no life..
We hugged and cried together.
It was a beautiful moment. | 29 | 3.367296 | 5 | 2024-12-10T13:15:43 | 69 |
17o1c1r | midgetfisting1997 | I call my dick the short bus | Because I only let retards ride it | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2023-11-05T01:41:41 | 15 |
1dqmnno | Geodougy | A prostitute and a Cam model walk into a bar... | They go up to the bartender to order.
The prostitute orders a beer, pays with cash, and goes to sit down.
The cam model takes out $5, puts it in the tip jar, and just tells the bar tender, "I'm just here to watch you make the drinks." | 2 | 0.693147 | 1 | 2024-06-28T15:40:55 | 72 |
17jzizs | sulldanivan | Please don’t hand out raisins this Halloween… | Eggs have gotten really expensive. | 1 | 0 | 9 | 2023-10-30T18:03:34 | 16 |
vrdhdj | justlikesomebody | Puberty story | A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister ... | 16 | 2.772589 | 0 | 2022-07-04T18:07:30 | 89 |
splxhf | VilitantlySweet | Weddings today | Dearly beloved
We are scattered here today | 5 | 1.609438 | 1 | 2022-02-11T01:00:37 | 12 |
1g7o0eg | BunHein | I am glad I'm not a woman. | Would hate to have my Johnsen pretty well much torn to shreds by spitting a baby out of it. | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2024-10-20T01:38:54 | 33 |
rh2oej | AsparagusFlex | One day this kid sees his grandpa sitting on the porch drinking a beer | He says, “Grandpa, grandpa! Can I have a sip of your beer?” The grandpa responds by asking, “can your dick touch your ass?” The boy says, “no”. The grandpa says, “well then, you can’t have any.” The next day the boy sees his grandpa sitting on the porch smoking a cigar. The boy asks, “grandpa, grandpa! Can I have a puf... | 59 | 4.077537 | 5 | 2021-12-15T16:15:36 | 210 |
145mkg2 | MrDagon007 | I asked a shepherd how he finds a sheep in tall grass. | He said, “Very nice, thank you.” | 9 | 2.197225 | 6 | 2023-06-10T01:12:37 | 23 |
175kvw9 | Buddy2269 | Cannibals having lunch. | They were eating a billionaire, one turns to the other and says,
sorry I can't eat this, it's too rich for me.. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-10-11T18:15:52 | 35 |
14dawyg | incredibleinkpen | I'm in a band called Delusional Bastards. | I know what you're thinking...great name. | 33 | 3.496508 | 4 | 2023-06-19T10:33:22 | 22 |
10f6t2g | tree-huggers | Favourite machine at the gym. | When l first joined the gym l wanted to lose the excess pounds l was carrying. After a month, l asked the guy next to me what he thought my favourite machine was at the gym. He looked me up and down and said, the vending machine. | 14 | 2.639057 | 0 | 2023-01-18T12:59:07 | 59 |
194fcwp | Lurker_MeritBadge | If Snoop Dogg gives you a complement | Would that be considered high praise? | 1 | 0 | 20 | 2024-01-11T23:03:58 | 16 |
uk0qpg | brahameswald | You have two parts of the brain | In the left side, there’s nothing right
And in the right side , there’s nothing left | 5 | 1.609438 | 1 | 2022-05-06T23:55:25 | 27 |
tildpv | greedydita | I asked a blond, "Do you like avocados?" | She said, "No but I, like, have a dog though." | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2022-03-20T13:44:54 | 28 |
zqa3n0 | EndersGame_Reviewer | A man is about to walk into a bar known for having lots of beautiful women, when a bouncer stops him at the door. | The bouncer says, "We have a dress policy where ties are mandatory for men, and you are just wearing a shirt that's open at the collar. So sorry, I can't let you in."
So the man returns to his vehicle, to see if he has a tie anywhere. Sadly, he doesn't, but while looking, he notices a set of jumper cables in the bac... | 1,833 | 7.513709 | 74 | 2022-12-20T01:25:15 | 189 |
ubbjnp | ReallySillyLily36 | A man woke up sobbing | "The world is a cruel uncaring void!" he cried. "Pleasure is fleeting but pain is eternal! Hope is a mirage! What cruel God made this reality!?"
Next to him, his wife stirred.
"Oh honey...is it Monday already...?" | 17 | 2.833213 | 1 | 2022-04-25T03:19:24 | 61 |
s0g7oq | capteni | I'm feeling down in the dumps... | Looks like she's been eating the duvet again | 9 | 2.197225 | 0 | 2022-01-10T09:37:31 | 18 |
17uw16n | ___HeyGFY___ | Guy walks into a store... | Guy walks into a store and asks the clerk, "Where's the alcohol?"
Clerk replies, "I'm sorry, this is a candy store."
Guy pleads, "Do you have any candy with alcohol in it?"
Clerk walks down an aisle and returns with a bag.
Guy looks at the bag and says, "This isn't quite what I wanted."
Clerk replies, "Well, it is... | 1,652 | 7.409742 | 52 | 2023-11-14T06:16:13 | 96 |
1gytn1u | james_s_docherty | The Scottish Green Party want to scrap First Class on trains... | They suggest that people wanting an expensive seat in a quiet place near the front of a train should become a driver.
| 4 | 1.386294 | 1 | 2024-11-24T15:34:43 | 35 |
1fbu09y | Able-Ground3194 | Why was the thief afraid of the calendar? | Its days were numbered. | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2024-09-08T09:39:20 | 14 |
ujzpun | ChuckBass11 | It’s just cost me 1 whole pound to put air in my tires | 5 years ago it used to cost me 20p. Suppose that’s inflation for you | 21 | 3.044522 | 3 | 2022-05-06T23:01:03 | 35 |
xen1pt | Dreaye | What's the difference between a frog and a horny toad? | The frog goes ribbit ribbit
The toad goes rub it rub it | 8 | 2.079442 | 1 | 2022-09-15T04:25:45 | 29 |
13q4vu5 | ihopeweallwait | Triplets | I was in a band in college and we sucked, but it was a fun hang so we just liked chilling and playing pop music without worrying about being technically proficient as we were all beginners to our instruments.
Of the three of us, I was the most experienced, as I’d been playing bass for about a year at the time. Ou... | 83 | 4.418841 | 9 | 2023-05-23T23:46:21 | 380 |
1122yji | Xipbit | Why isn’t there a pregnant barbie doll? | Because Ken came in a different box | 3,806 | 8.244334 | 369 | 2023-02-14T11:17:02 | 17 |
uxehdu | SuperZoomBattle2086 | My wife just described me as the 2nd least inquisitive person she's ever met | "Fair enough." I said. | 1,468 | 7.291656 | 30 | 2022-05-25T10:36:58 | 26 |
1d5r3ll | androidmids | VOTE NOW to save your States Mike markers. Your opinion Matters! | 2025 bill being lobbied to replace all state mile markers with a Dollar General Store....
| 2 | 0.693147 | 9 | 2024-06-01T16:41:01 | 36 |
1at1cii | porichoygupto | I got a crappy birthday present—-a dictionary with the front and back pages missing. | Things just went from bad to worse. | 193 | 5.26269 | 5 | 2024-02-17T12:55:47 | 26 |
14k3y2u | Key-Ideal-9121 | I’m dating a Zumba instructor | But it isn’t working out. | 8 | 2.079442 | 6 | 2023-06-27T05:01:01 | 14 |
11e170j | Firegoat1 | Today I helped a little old lady with a walker across a busy street | And some of the other car drivers were so inspired they joined me in honking at her. | 22 | 3.091042 | 1 | 2023-02-28T08:47:16 | 34 |
vtld9s | KeckyOK | A greasy middle-aged businessman and his secretary run out of gas.. | They had just finished up a business conference in Las Vegas but were now stranded on the side of the highway in the middle of the desert with the sun going down.
"My phone has no reception, we'll have to flag somebody down for help." says the man, looking in his mirror at the dark, empty road. "Who knows how long we'... | 4 | 1.386294 | 0 | 2022-07-07T15:32:47 | 147 |
16izppp | AnyHowMeow | So I asked this girl out yesterday... | ...and she turned me down again. She said, "You're my brother, what is wrong with you?"
Family zoned again. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-09-15T01:16:03 | 37 |
ratkln | GiiTheMetalhead | The Law of The Forest | A hunter goes into the woods to go hunting. Suddenly, he hears a bear growling. He then spots it not too far away. He aims his gun at it, shoots, and misses. The bear turns toward the sound of the gunshot, annoyed.
"Mister," said the bear. "Why are you trying to shoot me when I'm out here minding my own business? Well... | 10 | 2.302585 | 4 | 2021-12-07T07:27:42 | 279 |
14i1slz | jacksonbarley | What’s the difference between jelly and jam? | I can’t jelly my dick up your butt.
(Told to me by an older lady customer of mine) | 2 | 0.693147 | 0 | 2023-06-24T19:47:21 | 32 |
1c95lff | Gerry1of1 | I farted at the grocery store and four people turned around. | It was great! I felt like I was on The Voice ! | 30 | 3.401197 | 12 | 2024-04-21T01:03:16 | 26 |
wwiisy | 3000_fleurbows | What is HPV? | Fuck around and find out | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2022-08-24T12:40:15 | 9 |
w7t5r2 | mouerte-80 | So we took our new dog to the beach today |
I realise now it was not a good idea to name him Shark | 31 | 3.433987 | 2 | 2022-07-25T16:20:58 | 24 |
1c2aj8x | Riegel_Haribo | Just in: Roadside billboard factory collapse kills several workers | Investigators said all the signs were there. | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2024-04-12T14:27:07 | 19 |
16jid4z | zkwidgybananapudding | I went to the capital of France over the summer! | Call that VIP: Vacation In France | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-09-15T16:44:46 | 18 |
yznqsk | deejay82 | New student | Teacher sees the name of a new student 'abcdefghijkmnopqrstuvwxyz' and asks how the heck is this pronounced.
The student replies 'Noelle'. | 55 | 4.007333 | 6 | 2022-11-19T22:19:20 | 34 |
vcyziq | Kyle______ | A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single." The man answers: "Wow, how did you know that?" | "I saw you browsing reddit on your phone" she replied. | 210 | 5.347108 | 27 | 2022-06-15T16:51:05 | 50 |
1cq834h | elizabethjane50 | Told to me in 1985 by a 90 year old from Canada. | Patches upon patches without any stitches.
Answer my riddle and I'll give you my britches.
.
.
.
A cabbage patch | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2024-05-12T13:38:56 | 48 |
1d4k5b7 | Impossible-Cup2925 | A man can’t get it up | A married man can’t get it up and decides to visit the doctor.
- Doctor, I can’t get it up. I need something to satisfy my wife.
Doctor tells him not to worry and prescribes him some medication.
- This should be enough for a month.
After a month the man comes back all happy and satisfied.
- Doctor, thanks for the m... | 113 | 4.727388 | 5 | 2024-05-31T01:40:38 | 128 |
vl5g8t | PresidentJeek | Apparently most people in Iran are really afraid of spiders.. | But in neighboring Iraq no phobia.. | 10 | 2.302585 | 1 | 2022-06-26T14:05:22 | 19 |
rwa5ar | SickoSeaMan | It’s an English class in 3022 reading a twitter post by Shane Dawson. | The passage reads: 'My cat got the virus and spread it like crazy.'
The teacher then asks if anyone knows what 'it' refers to.
"Oh I know! It refers to the virus!", said a student.
"No, darling. He's referring to the cat's legs." | 0 | 0 | 6 | 2022-01-05T01:15:30 | 76 |
1ei9y6m | QuizMasterAsh | To an untrained eye it may appear that my wife is overly assertive and treats me like an untrained dog... | ...
But to a trained eye, it definitely appears that way. | 6 | 1.791759 | 6 | 2024-08-02T13:23:08 | 37 |
1hlsedt | Woodentit_B_Lovely | Why did Dean Martin get more pussy than Jerry Lewis? | He was the straight man. | 9 | 2.197225 | 2 | 2024-12-25T02:59:03 | 17 |
vr2tuy | i_look_good_in_black | Why is the music of 'the Clash" banned in Russian tanks in Ukraine? | Because the Russians dont need to be reminded that when they fight the LAWs, the LAWs win | 5 | 1.609438 | 1 | 2022-07-04T08:39:58 | 37 |
1hqf4my | ABRASIVENUTS | I was thinking of opening a temp agency | It will be for people with jobs looking for extra work I will call it pro laps. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2024-12-31T13:53:37 | 27 |
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