id large_string | author large_string | title large_string | selftext large_string | score int64 | log_score float64 | num_comments int64 | created_at timestamp[us] | num_tokens int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1eqxmvm | mindsnare1 | I took a DNA test and found out I am half English and Half Irish. | No wonder I hate myself! | 67 | 4.204693 | 16 | 2024-08-13T03:16:28 | 23 |
1g0np97 | MarcoDanielRebelo | I have a work colleague who only has one lung.
Today, in a desperate attempt to convince him to stop smoking, I told him: | ‘If you don't stop smoking, you'll lose your other lung...’
He looked at me and said:
‘That's terrible Marco, without lungs I can't smoke. ’ | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2024-10-10T17:05:40 | 65 |
18upr9c | Ms_Kratos | "So, why did all this people died after taking a medicine they bought here?", asks the police inspector to the pharmacist, during the interrogation. | "Let me guess.
None of them worked to earn their money honestly?", the pharmacist asks back.
"Well... Let me see here..." mutters the inspector while looking at the victims' files,
then adding,
"It seems so!
... Hey? How do you know that?"
"That medicine is for getting rid of parasites!", answers t... | 1 | 0 | 12 | 2023-12-30T21:06:02 | 104 |
1eqi33l | Fungus-VulgArius | The bootlegger lady at the chicken shop got arrested recently | Apparently the police said she was selling illegal drugs and pirating movies. I was questioned ans they thought I was ann accomplice. I even know she worked at the chicken shop! | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-08-12T16:22:46 | 48 |
1b48ppk | ElijahR241 | I asked 7 billionaires how they got their success, and they all said the same thing | "How did you get into my house" | 285 | 5.652489 | 12 | 2024-03-01T23:12:18 | 27 |
1cxebk1 | Silver-Bookkeeper927 | What did the mama fish told to the babies when it was raining? | "Get down inside or you'll get sick"
This was a joke my late grandpa used to tell me when I was kid and I always laughed at it, just thought to share it here seeing the recent trend, hope you liked it :) | 10 | 2.302585 | 3 | 2024-05-21T18:02:48 | 63 |
rcaky9 | MrSloane | So I'm serving this lady a bowl of soup | And she says "why is your thumb in my soup?"
I reply " It's infected and the doctor says i need to keep it warm "
She tells me to stick it up my ass!
But she doesn't know where it goes when I'm in the kitchen | 4 | 1.386294 | 0 | 2021-12-09T05:23:18 | 63 |
ydso3l | Sean_0510 | Time to open a pub that serves nothing but expensive beers and baked beans | I'll call it Farts & Crafts. | 17 | 2.833213 | 2 | 2022-10-26T08:23:47 | 26 |
vieqqn | alien6 | In romance, I'm like a wild stallion | I'm not well groomed, look somewhat malnourished, don't want anyone to ride me, am threatened by eye contact, and if approached I'm likely to run away before anyone's close enough to touch me. | 20 | 2.995732 | 1 | 2022-06-22T20:33:24 | 56 |
164eobf | fdsa4321lbp22 | A transwoman was asked "What the most painful part of bottom surgery for you?" | She responds "Honestly, it would have been when they cut my salary." | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2023-08-29T10:27:12 | 32 |
xanffl | KeckyOK | Archaeologists found a mummy adorned with ancient nuts and wrapped in gold foil. | They believe it may be the legendary Pharaoh Rocher. | 888 | 6.788972 | 39 | 2022-09-10T11:49:21 | 29 |
13goioo | rumblefish65 | I once met a guy who told me he owns the Kleenex Company. | I was impressed at first but it turned out it was all a tissue of lies. | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2023-05-13T18:10:09 | 33 |
1cfc6lk | jmremote | Every day is take your child to work day` | ... If your parents own a Chinese restaurant | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-04-28T17:43:14 | 19 |
t2rndw | ThreatLevelBertie | You can buy, sell, or swap just about anything on the Gumtree website. I recently got a motorbike for my wife | Good trade, would recommend, 10/10 | 15 | 2.70805 | 1 | 2022-02-27T16:20:09 | 38 |
17ae25s | papserk | My girlfriend said I am not the perfect man for her | I said “I know. That’s like saying you’re the perfect woman for Lyndsey Graham.” | 1 | 0 | 8 | 2023-10-18T01:02:56 | 32 |
1d9yub3 | bhendel | Hey, if being kinky is a crime, then lock me up | Even if it's not a crime | 103 | 4.634729 | 10 | 2024-06-07T01:29:22 | 20 |
v4ibzz | ryan_godzez | Why did God create war? | To teach Americans Geography | 49 | 3.89182 | 9 | 2022-06-04T05:48:24 | 10 |
rvri4p | Stotallytob3r | The Omicron Variant is like a Katy Perry song. | Mild but pretty catchy. | 1,344 | 7.203406 | 55 | 2022-01-04T10:42:17 | 17 |
vqrfcm | sharmaji_ka_papa | Alcohol-free beer is like licking your sister | tastes good but feels wrong. | 0 | 0 | 7 | 2022-07-03T21:22:25 | 15 |
136rmks | AlexNT01 | What did the farmer say to the wheelbarrow full of cow manure with a sign saying free compost? | Nah, I think you're full of shit | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-05-03T16:08:19 | 31 |
xin4ua | Dramatic_Material_56 | Why are food tropes so annoying? | They're just so Quiche | 0 | 0 | 6 | 2022-09-19T20:07:14 | 14 |
1fsz48l | cinnamonpoptartfan | Found out today that elderly married women grow protrusions on their lower back. | I even checked with my mother, who confirmed for me that it’s an old wive’s tail | 273 | 5.609472 | 5 | 2024-09-30T16:00:41 | 36 |
1fsf21y | Mediumtim | Who has the better job, a public school teacher or a janitor? | The janitor, he gets to flush the little shits he has to deal with. | 106 | 4.663439 | 6 | 2024-09-29T21:18:44 | 33 |
wtievm | Mantonythe1st | I went to a restaurant and a waiter spilled chowder down my trousers, so I said... | Waiter, waiter...there's soup in my fly! | 57 | 4.043051 | 7 | 2022-08-20T21:47:41 | 32 |
1ehaul1 | vrhotlaps | Just made this up. | I just jizzed into my shoes and put them on! Now that's comfort! | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2024-08-01T07:42:28 | 24 |
15ltaz7 | Romfordian | I've just bought the vinyl of Prince's greatest hits | Cost me twenty quid!
But fuck it, I'm gonna party like it was £19.99 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2023-08-08T20:25:26 | 34 |
u3v6ce | cbyrne34 | Why do Scotsmen make good ghost hunters? | Because after they enter a house there’s nae spirits left | 12 | 2.484907 | 1 | 2022-04-15T00:09:42 | 21 |
1gxwalg | AnoxiaRPG | What does the Al-Quaida have in common with bees? | Their attacks are suicididal. | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-11-23T09:59:14 | 21 |
y3ga0y | vect77 | Vladimir Putin, surrounded by his aides and bodyguards..... | visits a modern art exhibition. "What the hell is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain."
"Ah-h… And what is this black triangle with... | 40 | 3.688879 | 4 | 2022-10-14T01:30:43 | 122 |
1f6umyl | elevenatexi | What’s the difference between your mother and a Goat? | One of them is the greatest of all time, and the other is a farm animal that will eat anything. | 1 | 0 | 13 | 2024-09-02T01:24:04 | 33 |
tnkb9o | gary6043 | Hunters |
A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmers yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt.
The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to ki... | 14 | 2.639057 | 0 | 2022-03-25T11:57:50 | 219 |
yl8qt8 | Kenhamef | Did you know Henry VIII was the first Jedi? | He was a master of divorce. | 9 | 2.197225 | 1 | 2022-11-03T17:28:18 | 17 |
15bx7ut | MarcoDanielRebelo | After 6 divorces... | After 6 divorces my uncle Peter decided to get married for the seventh time!
Following the legal procedures he went to the clerk's office to apply for a new marriage license. When he got there he was attended by an employee who, upon seeing my uncle's "marriage history" had the following comment "Mr. Peter, instead ... | 1 | 0 | 91 | 2023-07-28T13:16:49 | 88 |
zxw6v5 | vartha | What’s the difference between an American girl and an Iranian girl? | The American girl gets stoned before sex. | 1,556 | 7.349874 | 200 | 2022-12-29T04:54:05 | 22 |
tjuutb | BunHein | Have you ever had an upset stomach after seeing your brother stop a robbery? | Your mom needs to.get you some wet toast
Credit: Everybody Loves Raymond Season 2 Episode 17 | 2 | 0.693147 | 1 | 2022-03-22T04:30:08 | 37 |
svsvq9 | Firegoat1 | A couple walk into a bar | A guy walks into a bar with a woman and they relax and have a few drinks. A drunken jerk staggers by them and says, "I don't like the looks of your girlfriend." and staggers off. "What a jerk," his wife says. "He doesn't have a clue." "I know," her husband replies. "I'd never bring my girlfriend to this dump." | 18 | 2.890372 | 0 | 2022-02-18T21:25:53 | 91 |
1hldyv0 | incredibleinkpen | I lost my job as the CEO of a company for "unethical practices". | I distributed the profits of the business with everyone evenly. | 859 | 6.755769 | 67 | 2024-12-24T13:52:33 | 27 |
rkp5gy | Status-Victory | Got a seat on a flight on one of those real budget airlines earlier, the deal was first come, first serve for seats. I turned up super early and was just nodding off in my seat when a guy tapped me on the shoulder...... | Him: Excuse me mate, this is my seat.
Me: No mate, first come first serve.
Him: Yeah, but this is 100% my seat.
Me: Look on the ticket pal, it says first come first serve, end of.
Him: Alright then, you fly the fucking thing. | 236 | 5.463832 | 15 | 2021-12-20T14:59:28 | 117 |
w6tive | Designer_Walrus_4283 | Yo mama is so guilty | Saul Goodman can’t prove her innocent | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2022-07-24T11:30:52 | 12 |
sbh6mr | ironfistedduke | It's the law? | I saw one of those overhead electronic bulletin board type signs on the highway today. It read, "Cover and secure your load. It's the law."
Other than my wife I don't think anybody has the right to tell me I have to wear a condom. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2022-01-24T08:16:14 | 58 |
13idiyg | blue4029 | So a man buys a sub sandwich from a deli | as he sits down on the table and prepares to eat his new sandwich, suddenly a fencer pops out and strikes the man with its sword.
naturally, the man parries the attack but the fencer gets the upper hand and manages to cut him.
the man brings his sandwich back to the cashier and tells the cashier, "there's a tiny fenc... | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2023-05-15T16:55:07 | 108 |
1hlt2er | Incompetent_Man | A white guy, a black guy, and a Mexican guy are walking through a sand dune, | and they stumble upon a pot. One of the guys rubs the pot and a genie pops out granting them three wishes, but only each individual gets one. The genie starts off with the Mexican guy whose only request is for all his people in America to go back to Mexico and be happy. The wish is granted and all the Mexicans are back... | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2024-12-25T03:45:29 | 227 |
ufmhef | BattleBug914 | An architect, a physicist, and a mathematician are sleeping in a hotel. It suddenly catches fire in the middle of the night | The architect is the first to wake up to the fire.
“This hotel is similar in design to many i studied during college. If I recall correctly, I should be able to find the fire exit with ease” he notes to himself.
He runs out of his room, down the stairs, and locates a fire exit and escapes.
Several minutes later, ... | 13 | 2.564949 | 2 | 2022-04-30T23:11:59 | 291 |
tbkjqw | bill_buttlicker__ | yo mama | Yo mama so fat, she go to a restaurant, look at the menu and say, "okay" | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2022-03-11T07:18:44 | 23 |
1aglb85 | Kirlins | I asked my brother if he had heard of the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon | He said "No, but I'm sure I'll start hearing about it everywhere now!" | 18 | 2.890372 | 2 | 2024-02-01T20:52:16 | 37 |
xcxw28 | tintedslightly | I thought Covid-19 was a cleaning product. | Everyone was calling it the Boomer Remover. | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2022-09-13T04:25:33 | 21 |
z32ndw | droog_uk | Hell's Angel |
A hell’s angel is sitting on his motorbike when he is approached by a beautiful woman wearing a tight leather catsuit.
“Hi handsome” says the woman
“Ever had a real thrill”
“Sure” he says. “I was cruising along at 90, and I stood up on the seat of my bike,
I held out my arms and closed my eyes as the wind whist... | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2022-11-23T22:30:57 | 124 |
zx6llq | hoosyourdaddyo | You really get to appreciate the importance of proofreading | When you’re invited to a Donner Party | 2 | 0.693147 | 4 | 2022-12-28T10:46:37 | 19 |
vpqo16 | lilapre | Bought my depressed mate a rabbit for his birthday and he was NOT happy. | He was like “Why the fuck did you buy me a rabbit? What the hell am I going to do with this?”
I was shocked. I was convinced it would cheer him up.
I replied. “Well, I know you can never truly replace old pets, but your girlfriend said you’d been down ever since you lost your hare” | 28 | 3.332205 | 2 | 2022-07-02T12:23:51 | 86 |
14lb2r5 | Ambitiousmould | I have a friend who I don't know that well, but without him I'd never have gotten into Humean metaphysics. | He's a causal acquaintance. | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2023-06-28T14:31:15 | 33 |
19ah0j9 | thatwamasi | Johny took his wife and their little child to the movie theater. | The movie started and everything was going fine. Suddenly, the child started screaming at the top of its voice. Seeing that Mrs. Johny was not doing anything to pacify the child, a voice raged from the dark back rows. “God has given you two things. Put one of those in that child’s mouth. Johny understood the obvious re... | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-01-19T11:29:27 | 127 |
14gycxx | _HEY_EARL_ | Learning to collect trash wasn't that hard. | I just picked it up as I went along. | 38 | 3.637586 | 6 | 2023-06-23T13:17:37 | 19 |
18xau7u | countrymike83 | I didn't say Joe Flacco has to take a shit, | I said he's gonna take the Browns to the Super Bowl. | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2024-01-03T04:51:01 | 26 |
yjkbrf | JoeWilliams2501 | I just found out that Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween. | I guess they don’t like random strangers showing up at their door. | 3,126 | 8.04751 | 170 | 2022-11-01T20:28:15 | 27 |
tnhu95 | Keen_City_ | The Day of Prom | A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the
prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux
line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get
some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a
huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually
gets the flowers. Then he ... | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2022-03-25T09:06:39 | 174 |
1ha272d | Basque5150 | I've been searching everywhere for my U2 cd | And I still haven't found what I'm looking for . . . | 10 | 2.302585 | 4 | 2024-12-09T04:59:39 | 24 |
191obdg | amerkanische_Frosch | Pinocchio | Pinocchio was in bed with his girlfriend doing what wooden boys do with their girlfriends.
When it was over, he noticed that his girlfriend was sobbing quietly.
Being a nice wooden boy, he asked her what was wrong.
"Oh, Pinocchio", she said, "You're a sweet guy and a great lover, but every time we ... | 978 | 6.88551 | 32 | 2024-01-08T15:54:31 | 292 |
sbx5bh | IamImposter | A European is visiting USA | and an American says "hey, your foot... "
European cuts him midway "oh you Americans and your lack of knowledge of the units whole world uses. It's not foot, it's meter"
American says "your meter is bleeding" | 8 | 2.079442 | 4 | 2022-01-24T21:33:36 | 53 |
10r2gp5 | CadetRS1344 | Two men are discussing habits. | The first man says, "Do you smoke?"
The second man replies, "Why of course, two joints a day! Why do you ask?"
The first man says, "Well how much do they cost?"
The second man says, "Only 20 each!"
"And how long have you been smoking?"
"A few years, why?"
"So if you hadn't smoked all these years, you would've sav... | 1,161 | 7.057037 | 144 | 2023-02-01T18:45:30 | 128 |
1fk9ywq | MemorableKidsMoments | To the person who stole my glasses. | I will find you, I have contacts. | 76 | 4.330733 | 7 | 2024-09-19T02:05:01 | 17 |
y0l753 | MangDynasty | Why are some chemicals called organophosphates? | It was better than calling them "C-P bondage compounds." | 3 | 1.098612 | 0 | 2022-10-10T17:50:35 | 22 |
1frryei | CARDEK04 | How do you find your dream bride who is exeptional in bed ? | You fuck around and find out. | 4 | 1.386294 | 3 | 2024-09-29T00:15:33 | 22 |
1fn27g0 | hogginsgoggins | To my surprise, my dog composed a haiku poem yesterday! I’m here to share it with you all: | Woof woof woof woof woof
Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof
Woof woof woof woof woof | 58 | 4.060443 | 22 | 2024-09-22T20:02:54 | 61 |
15tbn3m | BobT21 | A man dies and goes to heaven… | St. Pete says “Welcome to heaven. Any questions?”
The man says “Yes. God is supposed to be all knowing, all powerful, and benevolent. Frankly, most people are miserable. There is war, disease, poverty, environmental disaster, genocide, all that. What’s going on?”
St. Pete turns to Gabriel “Are these people s... | 1 | 0 | 6 | 2023-08-17T03:36:07 | 97 |
vovdyv | Mariointheair | I defeated our local chess champion in less than three moves ... | Finally, my high school karate lessons paid off. | 57 | 4.043051 | 4 | 2022-07-01T07:58:44 | 24 |
17ejani | SuperiorKnight7903 | Why are runners bad in bed? | They always finish first. | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2023-10-23T12:33:02 | 12 |
15dc6m2 | Internal_Fennel_849 | Why isn't Ken anatomically correct? | Because he's from Ken tucky. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-07-30T04:30:03 | 16 |
15ek958 | Zealousideal-Mail353 | Literally | What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A literalist takes things literally.
A kleptomaniac takes things, literally. | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2023-07-31T16:05:22 | 35 |
15mlket | 10mass | Apple AirTags | Apple only created AirTags so they could track their lost iPhone prototypes 😂 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2023-08-09T17:23:23 | 18 |
rq1oea | Sea-Economist1001 | I got in touch with my inner-self the other day | That’s the last time I use value toilet paper. | 42 | 3.73767 | 5 | 2021-12-28T00:24:42 | 22 |
10knuy2 | sexxc | I once asked my 97 year old grandfather what his secret was to such a long life. | He said, "I'm just waiting until I can afford a burial service." | 261 | 5.56452 | 9 | 2023-01-25T02:39:03 | 36 |
1g1sckk | Wooser_ | I told my psychiatrist I had suicidal tendencies | He told me I had to start paying him in advance.
(Old Rodney Dangerfield joke I heard recently, and thought was really funny.) | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2024-10-12T04:27:06 | 36 |
18l3jpz | cybosapien | Who would you call for a quick hemming of your dress? | ​
​
Taylor Swift | 56 | 4.025352 | 16 | 2023-12-18T08:03:08 | 30 |
15uw2zk | Distinct-Speaker8426 | A wife decides to surprise her husband at the office one day, and finds him on the phone with his hot secretary perched on his lap. | The husband catches sight of his wife and, without missing a beat, says into the phone, "And in conclusion, Gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I can't be expected to continue running this office with only one chair." | 1 | 0 | 15 | 2023-08-18T20:56:14 | 78 |
1f3da3k | Beatless7 | Please rate | A guy had a neurological disorder. Whenever he tried to ejaculated he would often pee. Whenever he tried to pee he would often ejaculate. The poor guy never knew if he was coming or going! | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-08-28T15:35:21 | 43 |
151un2u | StanleyStutters | Memory is a funny thing | We remember so little of our lives when you really think about. There are entire days that we don’t remember from our lives. Weeks probably. It’s entirely possible a group of people were together for an event or moment and none of them remember it.
And yet, despite all these gaps in our memories, not a single person ... | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-07-17T07:12:46 | 93 |
rhsmco | positive_electron42 | How does a pervert wish people a happy holiday? | “Sleazon’s greetings.” | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2021-12-16T15:06:57 | 18 |
10l5xa8 | AdeptLengthiness8886 | I got cut off by a taxi driver last week. I was walking through town today and I saw him at the back of the queue at the taxi rank. I got in the first taxi in the queue and said "How much to the station ?" "$5" said the driver. "And how much for a blow job ?" I asked him. | "That's disgusting" he said "Get out of my cab"
I got in the second taxi and said "How much to the station ?".
"$5" said the driver. "And how much for a blow job ?" I asked him.
"I'm not having any of that" he said "Get out of my cab"
I worked my way down the line, getting thrown out of each taxi in turn, until I came ... | 5,792 | 8.664233 | 195 | 2023-01-25T18:36:29 | 226 |
12t9ljm | OB1KENOB | A plane crashed in the middle of the Atlantic with no survivors | Except Chuck Norris, who swam to shore safely. | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2023-04-20T17:55:44 | 23 |
u0c8ft | IAmAUser4Real | What's the difference between a lemon and a plum | The lemon doesn't make you laugh, but neither does make you sh\*t yourself like the plum. | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2022-04-10T07:00:48 | 32 |
14xflc8 | stardogchamp420 | There was an unpublished Ernest Hemingway manuscript found, about an elderly man trying to learn a programming language, when his laptop died. | It's called The Old Man and the Brick. | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2023-07-12T05:58:25 | 37 |
10v9q7r | Darlinboy | One day in class, the teacher calls on Little Johnny... | ... and asks him to tell the class a story with a moral in it.
So Johnny says, “One day at the farm, a chicken and horse were playing together. The horse falls into quicksand, and he implores the chicken to go get the farmer. He can’t find him anywhere, so he jumps into his BMW, backs it up near the horse, throws a... | 1,541 | 7.340187 | 70 | 2023-02-06T15:42:43 | 226 |
wcxijp | hikorisensei | Recently the Roman emperor was going to be born in the prenatal care unit... | but they moved him into the Cesarean section | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2022-07-31T20:01:51 | 25 |
yto91k | zatch17 | A graying Labrador walks into his brothel | Asks for his usual prostitute, but the madam says she's no longer there. She asks if he wants to try a different girl. He responds
You can't teach an old dog new tricks | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2022-11-13T01:28:16 | 50 |
x1fh6l | CrownedHeads | Top 5 worst things about diarrhea | Number 2 may surprise you! | 7 | 1.94591 | 0 | 2022-08-30T10:27:48 | 14 |
rsdzid | Ok_Fun_1974 | A young boy enters a barber shop... | and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the ba... | 852 | 6.747587 | 23 | 2021-12-30T22:23:45 | 159 |
zmhpx8 | smilelikeachow | Little Johnny's trip to the zoo left him breathless | and the boa constrictor euthanized. | 24 | 3.178054 | 3 | 2022-12-15T10:15:22 | 21 |
1gjiztx | Killeramn-26 | Why did the three fat astronomers get kicked out of the conference? | They were being too chaotic. | 1 | 0 | 9 | 2024-11-04T16:52:16 | 19 |
16ktzh1 | Dounet05 | What can you say both during sex and an IMAX screening of a movie? | "Holy fuck it's big!" | 1 | 0 | 62 | 2023-09-17T07:06:49 | 23 |
w04r14 | gameboy90 | Why did the lumberjack raise his hand? | He had a question that he wood like to axe. | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2022-07-16T01:34:02 | 20 |
1g8763z | simikoi | A man meets a genie.... | A man meets a genie and is told he gets one wish. He says to the genie....
"Well, I'm older and don't need money but it's a life long dream of mine to visit Hawaii but I'm too afraid to fly. So I think I'd like a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive there."
The genie replied
"What?! No, that can't be done, the ocean c... | 19 | 2.944439 | 6 | 2024-10-20T19:42:42 | 187 |
17q1c4u | hoosyourdaddyo | Why did the rancher name his Shetland Pony Laryngitis? | Because he was a little horse. | 9 | 2.197225 | 0 | 2023-11-07T18:49:08 | 23 |
s0rbhn | [deleted] | Do infants enjoy infantry... | As much as adults enjoy adultery? | 16 | 2.772589 | 4 | 2022-01-10T18:49:56 | 12 |
1bwof0k | LesGetGrossman | I'm pro China | I'm pro dollar stores and dry cleaners | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-04-05T17:52:25 | 12 |
v1p5uy | Tontonsb | I just can't stand sitting around, doing nothing. | I'll better go for a nap. | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2022-05-31T12:29:30 | 19 |
xb1eb7 | Casper771 | How to determine the sex of an ant… | Drop the ant in water. If it sinks it’s a female. If not, it’s buoyant. | 21 | 3.044522 | 3 | 2022-09-10T22:05:42 | 31 |
10ig8g0 | c0dyw0dy27 | Why do bees stay in their hives in winter? | Swarm.
What did they bee say to his wife when they were running late for dinner?
Hurry up honey. | 18 | 2.890372 | 3 | 2023-01-22T10:01:51 | 35 |
x07qw7 | Johnny_Two_Timez | My dad recently told me he identified as a woman | I had no idea, but I'm glad he was transparent. | 6 | 1.791759 | 2 | 2022-08-28T22:17:16 | 23 |
1hg83wm | jteccc | What do you call a guy that's struggling to come up with something funny on r/Jokes ? | Leave me alone. This platform is anonymous. | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2024-12-17T10:51:27 | 29 |
10nl3ig | Kenner1979 | Snow White was in the bathtub, feeling sleepy. | Then he got out, so she felt Dopey instead. | 281 | 5.638355 | 25 | 2023-01-28T17:57:10 | 23 |
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