id large_string | author large_string | title large_string | selftext large_string | score int64 | log_score float64 | num_comments int64 | created_at timestamp[us] | num_tokens int64 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
x13kj6 | tatlik | Parachute lessons | So, I'm on a flying plane, taking my parachute jumping lessons. One of the guys told me: "Wait here, stay close to the door, the instructor will strap himself to you and you'll jump together. Don't do anything without your instructor, he has the parachute, he knows everything and he will guide you on your first jump!"
... | 36 | 3.583519 | 2 | 2022-08-29T23:41:26 | 120 |
11ww2y7 | Hurtkopain | The new broom | Mom: "honey, I didn't see you use the super broom I bought you last year once....have you used it at all?"
Dad: "no I haven't needed to, it's doing its job perfectly where it is."
Mom: "what do you mean it's doing its job, you haven't even touched it for a whole year......?!?"
Dad: {smug face}...it's gathering dust ... | 8 | 2.079442 | 2 | 2023-03-20T21:12:00 | 135 |
1003w3e | westernmail | Putin declares all Russian government computers must be Macs | Rumor has it that he's scared to go near Windows. | 11 | 2.397895 | 2 | 2022-12-31T21:16:22 | 23 |
12at3ys | creydth | A young couple moved into a new house. | The next morning while they were taking breakfast, the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the washing outside.
"That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better soap powder.
Her husband looked on, remaining silent.
Every time her neighbor hung her washing out to dry, th... | 37 | 3.610918 | 1 | 2023-04-03T18:27:09 | 137 |
zk51jq | BMXTKD | You Know You're A Northneck (Northern Redneck) If...... | Your rusty vehicle's resale value only goes up if you remember to put the snow tires on them during the winter.
You ever got into a shouting match based on which college hockey team you're a fan of.
You've ever used expired gas station sushi as bait for ice fishing.
(You're really a redneck if your local Casey's d... | 7 | 1.94591 | 6 | 2022-12-12T17:16:13 | 341 |
1728anz | brutustorente | Husband and wife | Her: Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?
Him: "No" said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar Bill.
He took the crumpled Twenty Do... | 1 | 0 | 101 | 2023-10-07T14:55:55 | 219 |
xro9su | StarsBear75063 | What do you get when you cross a joke with a non-sequitur? | You can't unload a truckful of bowling balls with a pitchfork. | 5 | 1.609438 | 2 | 2022-09-30T01:08:14 | 31 |
ulr34h | ikerramos11 | I don't understand why the Love For Birds association decided to cancel me. | I did make it very clear that I loved ducks whether roasted or barbecued. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2022-05-09T13:19:33 | 32 |
upzsox | ADhomin_em | Why did Ben Affleck call a combination priest/life coach when he saw his friends family was gaining weight? | He wanted to exercise the Damons | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2022-05-15T06:14:57 | 29 |
1g8fy7w | TheStutteringCarnie | A.W.O.L. Bakery | We only hire desserters, and our turnover rate is incredible. | 57 | 4.043051 | 3 | 2024-10-21T02:53:39 | 19 |
1egdzse | DrakeLostLol | Why did the Frenchman need first aid on his crotch? | Because he got kicked in his Oui Oui. | 1 | 0 | 9 | 2024-07-31T04:11:25 | 24 |
rpj24p | AdeptLengthiness8886 | I've read Masturbation may help prevent the common cold | Really hope so, I've run out of tissues. | 277 | 5.624018 | 12 | 2021-12-27T08:46:14 | 22 |
15il1s8 | DirtySouthDoc | Went to a Vikings game with my family and decided I wanted a drink. Wanted the big soda but when I saw the price I decided..... | a Minnesota will do. | 1 | 0 | 5 | 2023-08-05T03:46:34 | 35 |
s60cx7 | Firegoat1 | An artistic chicken | A guy walks into a bar with a chicken under his arm and orders a beer. "Hey, you can't bring a live chicken into the bar," the bartender admonishes him. "But this is a famous chicken. She can actually draw beautiful portraits of anyone," the guy tells the bartender. So the bartender asks for a demonstration and lo and... | 96 | 4.564348 | 4 | 2022-01-17T09:50:50 | 157 |
u0lg4x | brandon_nitro927 | Why was the bird so bad at picking up chicks? | Because he had a small pecker | 12 | 2.484907 | 1 | 2022-04-10T16:42:42 | 18 |
1277bbf | DoctorBlazes | I like to tell dad jokes |
But he never finds them funny. | 480 | 6.173786 | 28 | 2023-03-31T02:32:31 | 14 |
vxabpy | trimdaddyflex | How do you tell if a stage is level? | There’s drool coming from both sides of the drummer’s mouth. | 7 | 1.94591 | 1 | 2022-07-12T12:43:34 | 24 |
132c8nq | neonphoenix09 | Say what you want about The Human Centipede | The film's director really knew how to bring people together... | 26 | 3.258097 | 5 | 2023-04-28T22:48:57 | 22 |
14xc8g2 | BillSanders4323 | My wife is always silent during sex.. | ..I was worried she wasn't enjoying it. So I asked her, "do you ever orgasm?" She said, "oh yes, all the time!"
Surprised, I asked.. "you do? I never notice it.. why don't you tell me when it happens?"
She said "I don't like bothering you when you're at the office." | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2023-07-12T03:09:47 | 82 |
1aeqaqx | h3llofaRide | I hate people that take drugs | Like that cop that stopped me today and took my cocaine | 3 | 1.098612 | 1 | 2024-01-30T14:57:45 | 17 |
yv9e2b | Romthirty | Why did Peanut butter not open the door for the Jelly?... | Because it was already ajar.
(Sorry, I'm a dad.) | 56 | 4.025352 | 16 | 2022-11-14T19:12:12 | 28 |
1ggjh4b | Right-Ad8261 | A pirate shipped boards an enemy vessel, only to find no treasure | A crew mate approaches the pirate captain and says;
"Cap'n, there's a better way to do this. There's technology now that will find out which boats have treasure, how much, how large theor crew is, and how close we are, all we need to do is ask! I'm not sure what it's called, but doesn't that sound great?"
The pirate ... | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2024-10-31T17:03:52 | 100 |
tyrhfy | ILikeCarBall | I used to practice blackjack by using my bedroom wall as an opponent | I stopped when I realised the house always wins | 22 | 3.091042 | 0 | 2022-04-08T00:55:36 | 22 |
ugp4ai | Oogway-The-Immortal | a man was in court, as he was accused of cannibalism… | The Jury was bought by the accusers claims and was ready for the session to be over, however due to formalities the judge was obligated to allow the dfendant one last shot.
His lawyer, realizing the terrible situation, stared at the judge with an intent look and said, “If you are what you eat, my client is in fact an i... | 11 | 2.397895 | 1 | 2022-05-02T13:00:49 | 88 |
wr42ar | Doonyspoons | Bob just got back from the doctor and says to Joe... | Bob: "The doctor said that I have tendonitis"
Joe: "Oh I have tinnitus too"
Bob: "No I said tendonitis"
Joe: "What?" | 4 | 1.386294 | 0 | 2022-08-17T23:51:45 | 49 |
18hzlqz | lukeknep | King Leonidas marches with his army of 300 Spartans into Norway. | The troops are hungry, but can’t decide where to eat.
“We should get fresh seafood in a coastal Nordic town!” say some.
“We should go to a big city for pizza,” argue others.
“Since we’re in Norway, We should eat at a famous Scandinavian restaurant,” argue yet others.
“You’re all wrong!” Shouts King Leonidas. “To... | 1 | 0 | 11 | 2023-12-14T03:43:59 | 101 |
yzs4lq | cf8261a | I was surprised when Kim Jong Un agreed to let me marry his daughter | Cause now I get to call him my father-un-law | 9 | 2.197225 | 4 | 2022-11-20T01:49:53 | 25 |
vp9rqs | JJ-Kowalski | Tim the Chicken | Tim was a nervous chicken.
He rarely went out in public and spent the majority of his life trying to blend in to the background.
And this devotion to anonymity followed Tim through his entire childhood and adolescence.
As Tim approached his eighteenth birthday, his one friend, a sheep named Bob, was adamant Tim ne... | 36 | 3.583519 | 4 | 2022-07-01T20:08:41 | 433 |
1hph2kj | batmanisnotme | Stalin asked Mao: Which one is the worst genocide, the Holocaust or Nanjing? | Mao reply: Comparison is the thief of joy | 1 | 0 | 6 | 2024-12-30T06:30:51 | 27 |
rr5hd0 | 808gecko808 | My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole!! | Man, that sentence was way too long. | 32 | 3.465736 | 2 | 2021-12-29T10:51:10 | 73 |
rchxhf | Tigris_Morte | You hear Viagra reduces Alzheimer risk by as much as 70%? | Which makes sense as 90% of men losing their minds is just they're not getting laid. | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2021-12-09T13:42:36 | 36 |
11c28gc | Dylanphile | It's not that Chuck Norris jokes are making a comeback. | He's just allowing you to laugh at them again. | 52 | 3.951244 | 4 | 2023-02-26T01:50:57 | 23 |
12vapwj | Luked0g44O | If a pachyderms appears at your door unexpectedly, | What military tactic are they employing?
The Elephant Of Surprise. | 7 | 1.94591 | 3 | 2023-04-22T16:12:51 | 26 |
1ddjxy7 | gotmojo6 | Did you hear about the guy who was at the mall the other day? | The power went out in the entire mall. He got stuck on the escalator for five hours. | 27 | 3.295837 | 8 | 2024-06-11T17:33:39 | 35 |
1fpmktc | squintpiece | Apparently it’s not PC to say ‘Black Paint’ anymore. | You’re supposed to say “Jamal, paint the fence” | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2024-09-26T03:02:44 | 26 |
vxuewm | chewybellsrule | Why isn't Cinderella good at sports? | She runs away from the ball. Plus, her coach is a vegetable. | 32 | 3.465736 | 8 | 2022-07-13T04:26:01 | 24 |
18mfi1u | Ms_Kratos | A young adventurer, very muscular, dressed in armor, and with a sword by his belt, marches through the city's gates. | An old man approaches him and says, "Oh, you are the chosen one!".
"Am I?" replies the adventurer.
"Sure!" affirms the old man. "Follow me, for I will take you to the king. You do have an important task at hand that only you can perform.".
"Who are you?" asks the adventurer.
"The wizard!" replies the old man. T... | 947 | 6.853299 | 31 | 2023-12-19T23:15:33 | 455 |
1dq87b7 | BobT21 | The old gunfighter is getting worried. | He feels that as he is getting older he is slowing down, and some of the youngsters are getting damn good. He decides he will consult a “gunfighter trainer” to help him improve his technique and show him the latest tricks.
He goes into the bar, and walks up to the gunfighter trainer at a table and tells him what th... | 266 | 5.583496 | 10 | 2024-06-28T01:52:56 | 270 |
ys8t0h | atomik22 | Why do scientists knew that the frozen prehistoric man they found in the Arctic was friendly ? | Because he’s a”n iceman” | 6 | 1.791759 | 1 | 2022-11-11T12:18:38 | 27 |
14g8o4b | JohnlockedDancer | WARNING! Knock Knock Joke | “Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Hugo.”
“Hugo who?”
“You go and clean the dishes.”
(I just came up with this. If anyone beat me to it, please tell me.” | 1 | 0 | 6 | 2023-06-22T17:00:18 | 52 |
12ii8b7 | ContainsTracesOfLies | I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes... | Doctor: It sounds like diabetes. | 12 | 2.484907 | 7 | 2023-04-11T12:28:12 | 21 |
140mm43 | ZombieBait2 | Max and Carl | One day Max went to see Carl. Carl had a big swollen nose.
“Whoa, what happened, Carl?”, Max asked.
“I sniffed a brose,” Carl replied.
“What?”, Max said. “There’s no ‘b’ in rose!”
Carl replied, “There was in this one!” | 6 | 1.791759 | 0 | 2023-06-04T18:58:31 | 68 |
17pq3mc | hi_robb | I've just bought a house with period features. | The girlfriend hates that nickname.. | 46 | 3.828641 | 7 | 2023-11-07T08:56:38 | 16 |
tbt394 | RainRepublic | Just watched a documentary about beavers. | Best dam show I've ever seen. | 21 | 3.044522 | 10 | 2022-03-11T15:53:54 | 16 |
1de1oud | Bezbozny | Huh, that girl is cute. Wait, is she... blinking morse code at me? That's weird... | Morgan Freeman: (Narration) Unfortunately for the young woman, she had just tried to flutter her eyes at a huge nerd. | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-06-12T08:30:17 | 50 |
rnsous | TenRingRedux | How do you get down off an elephant? | You don't, you get down off a goose. | 12 | 2.484907 | 13 | 2021-12-24T19:08:26 | 20 |
w7qp0p | boa_constrictor | Three vampires enter into a competition | The first vampire tells the other 2:
\- “Hey! I have an idea! Let’s have a competition between the three of us to see who is the best at sucking blood!”
Since they have nothing to else to do, the other two vampires think it is a good idea and agree to the competition.
After that, the first vampire runs off (And bec... | 38 | 3.637586 | 6 | 2022-07-25T14:42:05 | 352 |
14gtunz | Spy_Mouse | A flatearther points a gun to your head. | Keep calm. He doesn’t have any rounds anyways. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-06-23T09:23:31 | 23 |
1ebee2c | CoriSP | A mad scientist has just concluded his experiments on how to create exploding cattle. | The result was a bomb in a bull. | 19 | 2.944439 | 6 | 2024-07-24T22:19:19 | 24 |
1ekwnlp | tschach | [movie themed] The feminist story of a 200 meter runner in a world of 100 meter races. | Real women run curves | 7 | 1.94591 | 0 | 2024-08-05T19:25:31 | 30 |
1aii8d8 | Logical_Employ7629 | Did you hear about that guy in accounting with mesothelioma? | He's dealing with it asbestos he can. | 2 | 0.693147 | 1 | 2024-02-04T07:22:48 | 23 |
z8e3p9 | sadcollegetimes | One fish, two fish, red fish, dead fish. | Turbines, am I right? | 5 | 1.609438 | 1 | 2022-11-30T02:15:48 | 20 |
11zqz58 | empire-state1776 | Why do the buildings that shelter horses never run into any problems ? | Because they’re stable | 18 | 2.890372 | 8 | 2023-03-23T17:19:17 | 17 |
1b5ask7 | FlopDangle | This Blonde lady is driving a convertible aggressively and cuts off a big truck. | The truck driver flashes his lights and the girl to pull over. He steps out and says "What the hells the matter with you?!"
Without batting an eye the woman pulls out a 12 gauge shotgun and shoots the man in the head. And he FUCKING DIES | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2024-03-03T06:52:18 | 73 |
y27mev | Deerkiller14 | A priest, one of many in his deeply religious town, decides to skip Mass one Sunday morning to enjoy the day playing golf. | Fortunately for him, as Mass was a rather large gathering, his absence isn't noticed by the other townsfolk.
However, God notices and is determined to exact a punishment. God spends a few minutes pondering his options, before ordering his angels to ensure that the priest gets a hole-in-one on every hole on the eightee... | 14 | 2.639057 | 2 | 2022-10-12T15:56:25 | 141 |
t1r1hq | liminallight | Owl love | Why don't owls make love in the rain?
Because it's too wet to woo. | 3 | 1.098612 | 0 | 2022-02-26T07:16:29 | 22 |
193nmve | tempIdforme | My wife got a call from Employment Development Department (EDD) saying they denied her claim | They can't figure out if she is Size E or DD 😂
PS: actual situation where her claim was denied, wifey didn't appreciate the joke though 🤪 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-01-11T00:11:35 | 55 |
183o3vb | mikehotel288 | I went hunting for the first time and it went better than I could have possibly hoped | I got three cows and a horse | 7 | 1.94591 | 2 | 2023-11-25T16:59:47 | 24 |
1fpucfq | Praliu | We had a charity event at my local BDSM group, and a load of right-wingers turned up | I don't get what was confusing about "Free DOM Day" | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2024-09-26T11:55:11 | 33 |
tx8ukz | ______1_____ | Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? | It's pasteurized before you can even see it. | 25 | 3.218876 | 6 | 2022-04-06T00:00:00 | 25 |
ylztqo | Majorpain2006 | Me: Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please? |
Waitress (slaps me): That’s none of your business! | 327 | 5.78996 | 42 | 2022-11-04T14:00:05 | 31 |
vdnkma | KeckyOK | In New Orleans she was 'Honeychile', the sweetest of the bunch | But on my job's expense account, she's 'gas, motel and lunch'. | 11 | 2.397895 | 0 | 2022-06-16T14:41:59 | 34 |
17ez6uu | momibrokebothmyarms | A guy has a curious illness and goes to the doctor, | At the office he states he can't laugh and he feels no joy. So doc prescribed some antidepressants and tells him to come back in a month.
Next visit, same problem. This time the doctor has a hot young nurse. The nurse knew exactly what to do.
She said, you need some test tickles. | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2023-10-24T00:03:59 | 82 |
12kjxbt | DoodleandDragon | the jokes is too long to put in the title | What did the pharaohs disappointed mother say?
"Tut tut... " | 2 | 0.693147 | 1 | 2023-04-13T10:17:59 | 25 |
zy9lxl | thebreakfastdub1 | Left a review for my pest control company: | Con's: The pesticide they used made me go blind
Pro's: Haven't seen a bug all year | 14 | 2.639057 | 1 | 2022-12-29T16:34:41 | 32 |
14cdrlo | Omeganian | Two women meet. Each one has a teenaged daughter. | **Woman 1**: I am so depressed lately. I... I literally don't know what to do. My daughter... she simply tells me nothing.
**Woman 2**: God, how I envy you: mine tells me everything! | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2023-06-18T07:07:52 | 60 |
1hloimd | redvoxfox | Vegas story best slot machine! | A Vegas story from a senior citizen:
There's a casino near China Town that has a machine that always pays out 100% or more!
First time I played this machine I put in $5 and while I'm looking for my card and a slot for it the machine made a bunch of noise and then spit out a piece of a foam like from the bottom of a... | 5 | 1.609438 | 1 | 2024-12-24T22:55:24 | 435 |
sgwd8y | PsChampion_007 | A man buys a house in a new neighbourhood | The next morning, at 8, the man's neighbour rings his doorbell. The guy wakes up and opens the door, still in half-sleep.
"Hey. Sorry to wake you up, but you parked your car right in front of mine. I can't get mine out, and I am running late for office." The neighbour says.
"Oh, I'm really sorry. Just a minute." He ... | 52 | 3.951244 | 6 | 2022-01-31T08:29:34 | 437 |
18wjfpd | UsernameWithAmnesia | I really like this sub | My english isn't great so, I apologise for any mistakes.
I've really grown to like this community. The jokes, the camaraderie, —it's just fantastic. And you, the top posters, have made it even better. For the top posters, I have a proposition for you. 'IN' - let's make this community even more incredible together! | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2024-01-02T07:12:42 | 80 |
1dmlp1l | gotmojo6 | Siri and Alexa drove me crazy last night. They didn’t respond to my voice all evening. | That’s the last time I’ll ever play “Simon says” with them. | 3 | 1.098612 | 2 | 2024-06-23T13:04:24 | 36 |
zwi6es | KeckyOK | Things I hate: | 1. Lists
2. Misanthropists
3. Redundancy
4. Lists | 50 | 3.912023 | 26 | 2022-12-27T15:27:56 | 25 |
zrb2hk | Khlowd | Gulaf meets Santa | It’s Christmas eve and little Gulaf Bistrolovich of a mere seven years old is too excited to sleep. He cannot wait for Christmas morning to come. Just when he’s finally about to sleep he hears a clatter on the roof. He bolts out of bed and runs to the living room.
“Santa! You’re here!”
“Your supposed to be in bed ch... | 8 | 2.079442 | 1 | 2022-12-21T05:10:49 | 311 |
z1c75m | ididnotknowwhy | Did you hear about the guy who drank Fanta with a Chopstick? | He said it was Fantastic | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2022-11-21T22:20:20 | 20 |
12mn5ts | SilentJoe27 | Why is there only one Yogi Bear? | Because when they tried to create a second one, they made a Boo-Boo. | 8 | 2.079442 | 1 | 2023-04-15T02:43:15 | 27 |
ta6eik | therealbrentburns | What do American politics and American cuisine have in common? | A disturbing amount of conservatives | 0 | 0 | 5 | 2022-03-09T12:07:41 | 16 |
12hmdgf | PedantryIsNotACrime | A woman goes on a business trip overseas, leaving her husband behind to look after the house and kids. | After a few days she calls up to see how everything is.
"Everything's fine" he says. "The kids are finally sleeping OK without you here, and my boss has given me an extra week off until you're back. Oh! I forgot to say, the cat's dead! She was hit by a car!"
"What!?" Says the wife. "Are you serious? Why couldn't you... | 1,882 | 7.54009 | 56 | 2023-04-10T15:35:56 | 306 |
16z9ynw | evanm16 | Three bad dice roll into a bar... | One asks for a whiskey, neat.
One asks for three shots of mezcal with a beer chaser and three slices of cheddar cheese.
The last asks for...\[Fill in the blank\] | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2023-10-04T01:30:33 | 50 |
tm3rpc | gary6043 | Fast |
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said... | 3 | 1.098612 | 2 | 2022-03-24T11:28:04 | 175 |
106116q | Zognot | Why Bilbo had to be Male | Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the original plot, sure. But t... | 5,821 | 8.669227 | 514 | 2023-01-07T22:02:34 | 524 |
txm92y | tn_notahick | A priest, a rabbit, and a minister all walk into a bar.. | The rabbit says "I might be a typo." | 14 | 2.639057 | 7 | 2022-04-06T13:31:18 | 25 |
15aa7jb | FM596 | Why did you migrate from Singapore? | \- Because I was single, and poor. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-07-26T16:19:01 | 17 |
rnep3u | phlux | I travelled to the future to tell you a joke... | ...But none of you got it. | 4 | 1.386294 | 2 | 2021-12-24T05:08:57 | 19 |
15niq3h | KennyThaKid | Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar | Schrödinger's cat doesn't walk into a bar | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2023-08-10T17:29:33 | 23 |
wtzd61 | TheNorselord | What do you get when you cross a human with a goat? | Kicked out of the petting zoo. | 17 | 2.833213 | 6 | 2022-08-21T13:15:28 | 22 |
t6ifrc | MudakMudakov | A Ukrainian man and a Russian man are out fishing when suddenly the Russian reels in a golden fish. |
The fish looks at the men and says "Congratulations! You have caught me and know I shall grant you both three wishes."
The fish turns to the Russian man and says "Since you are the one who reeled me in, you get to go first."
"Alright," says the Russian, "I wish that all of the foreigners in Russia were gone."
"It i... | 60 | 4.094345 | 11 | 2022-03-04T12:58:56 | 212 |
18x0dn5 | redwalker | Have you heard about the Spanish Magician? |
He went, uno, dos…
and disappeared without a tres (trace).
| 1 | 0 | 2 | 2024-01-02T21:07:40 | 30 |
14bh54k | Uriahheeplol | “Who is your favorite literary vampire”? | The one from Sesame Street
“He doesn’t count”
I can assure you he does…. | 64 | 4.158883 | 12 | 2023-06-17T04:20:05 | 27 |
sxx04q | larkuel | Why does a space rock make the best rock soup? | # Because its a little meteor. | 8 | 2.079442 | 1 | 2022-02-21T16:02:15 | 18 |
t2o58q | Mystify95 | A doctor is sitting in his office and is waiting for his next patient | A man enters the room. He tells the doctor that he has a back injury from yesterdays activities. The doctor asks him what he did that cause his back injury.
"Well Doctor, I came home early yesterday after work and found a pair of mens shoes that do not belong to me. I rushed upstairs and found my wife naked in the bed... | 62 | 4.127134 | 7 | 2022-02-27T13:23:57 | 331 |
10wmzpp | improvtheatre | What profession loves tea the most? | Tea-chers!
(From my 10 year old today) | 12 | 2.484907 | 4 | 2023-02-08T04:15:16 | 22 |
uplnep | grandadsandlads | Amber Heard just fired her interior decorator... | They disagreed about the color and placement of the stool in the bedroom. | 43 | 3.7612 | 3 | 2022-05-14T17:07:38 | 23 |
15ws8ek | MercyReign | Driving down the road….. | Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?"
The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in."
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, ... | 1 | 0 | 7 | 2023-08-21T00:42:17 | 343 |
1bcdxvo | BladerTCTN | You can call me José. | Because all these hoes make me go "Ayyy". | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2024-03-11T20:49:15 | 18 |
x2m4js | taco_the_town | I'm not very good at similes | I'm like a guy that's not very good at similes | 48 | 3.871201 | 11 | 2022-08-31T19:20:22 | 21 |
16fn4l7 | SoberBoredom | Vivek Ramaswamy walks into a bar... | Vivek: "No i didnt"
Media: "Yes you did Vivek, we have the videotape right here, that is you walking into a bar"
Vivek: "Nope thats not me"
Media: "Your shirt literally says 'I AM VIVEK RAMASWAMY' and you are with your wife"
Vivek: 😁 "It wasn't me"
Media: "Are you fucking mental Vivek?"
Vivek: "Nope nope nope bl... | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2023-09-11T05:39:13 | 128 |
1f7pbz6 | tads73 | I wanted to teach my kids about democracy... | So I let them vote on the what to have for dinner, then vote on which movie to watch. Then I chose the food and the movie because I'm the one with the money. | 152 | 5.023881 | 13 | 2024-09-03T02:47:32 | 47 |
17k0euc | sulldanivan | My doctor had a Cologuard test sent to me and the return address is Madison. Huh… | …I always wanted to shit in a box and send it to Wisconsin. | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2023-10-30T18:43:22 | 36 |
wxfomz | Macadamed12 | I got a great deal and paid only $6 for a book titled “100 Truly Disgusting Jokes.” | If you break it down per joke, I only paid for the author’s 6 cents of humor. | 7 | 1.94591 | 5 | 2022-08-25T14:27:05 | 46 |
x49arh | leathco | I like my women how I like my COVID | 19, breathtaking, and easy to spread | 3,335 | 8.112228 | 221 | 2022-09-02T18:49:28 | 19 |
12rbuyx | chopselmcity | I've created a manly fragrance that smells like chicken nuggets. | I call it Pollo For Men. | 6 | 1.791759 | 1 | 2023-04-19T01:25:18 | 22 |
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