dlb/mentalreddit · Datasets at Hugging Face

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3,301	daddit	Holy shit dude, that was a good story. Rock on, you magnificent dad. Rock on.
3,302	daddit	This is buried and I don't know if you'll see this, but thank you for posting this. My husband was similar to you for the first 4+ months of our son's life, and eventually got over it too. I've had a really hard time forgiving him, and getting over things he said during that period of our life. While I don't know how similar your heart and his are, your story gave me a new perspective on my husband that helps me a lot. Thanks.
3,303	daddit	I went through something similar with both of my kids... Still do sometimes. It passes. I'm glad you were able to fight through it. There's always a shitty point... The non-stop crying moves on to teething, then comes terrible-twos/threes, toilet training. I think it doesn't start to get REALLY good until about 4 yrs old. Be there for your wife and have your wife be there for you. I sure as hell tould have checked out long ago if it wasn't for my wife. Talk things through with her and make sure she gets the help she needs. (Both you and a therapist.) I also found that therapy helped. Bond with your kid and try and have more positive experiences with them... Even if it's just a nap in front of the TV. Also, check out the subreddit /r/breakingdad Sometimes it helps to vent.
3,304	daddit	That last sentence is possibly the best thing I've ever read, and to be honest I share the same sentiment. I've got two children of my own, my 3 year old daughter and my 1 year old son. During the pregnancy for my daughter, I'd never felt such excitement, but with my son, I didn't feel as excited. Unfortunately when my son was born, he didn't get all of the fluid out of his lungs, so he was rushed off to the high dependency unit. So instead of holding my son, and bonding with him, I watched as doctors and nurses hurried around him. I was then left with the decision to either stay with my wife or to go with my son. My wife made the decision for me, and I followed, uselessly, behind as my son was rushed to the high dependency unit, once there I was allowed a few minutes with him, before I was ushered into a corridor outside. I sat in that corridor alone and unsure whether I would ever hold my boy. I'm not afraid to admit that I cried, in fact I didn't cry, I fell apart. But I had to pull myself together, I still had my daughter and my wife needed me as well. So I walked back to the room where my wife was, and put on my brave face, no-one was allowed to see me weak. Fortunately he pulled through, after a course of antibiotics he cleared up, but he had to remain in hospital for a few days with my wife, whilst I split myself between looking after my daughter, with the help of my mum, who is an absolute saint, and the hospital. I didn't get to hold my son until he was a couple of days old, and I honestly struggled to bond with him. Happily our bond is getting stronger, but it isn't the same as the bond I have with my daughter. I love that little guy, and I'd fight a bear to protect him, but I'll never forget how helpless I felt when he was born. The NHS is wonderful, I'm British, and they were fantastic with us, but the support for dads just isn't there, I've already told my wife that when our kids have children I'll be at the hospital to support my son and my daughter's partner. I don't want them to be alone. I've needed to get this off my chest for a while now, so thank you for providing me with the opportunity to do so.
3,305	daddit	Wow . What a great , honest post . Well done dude .
3,306	daddit	At first I thought the infant stage was rough. It just gets progressively harder. At least once they can wipe their own asses it helps a little haha.
3,307	daddit	So we are gonna ignore the fact this psycho said he wanted to murder his kid just because his own narcissistic tendencies made him jealous that his wife is a better caregiver? I'm sorry but are you also going to snap when he does something better than you can in the future? I'm tempted to contact child services honestly, this is a horrible post and you should be ashamed of yourself. Go get help.
3,308	daddit	[removed]
3,309	daddit	"I just wanted to punch him in his dumb fucking face" LOL That was fun to read. Eventually he's gonna grow up to hate you!
3,310	daddit	so, the moral of the story is "if you're a new dad, get high and you'll realize you're just shit, and then start loving your booger monster!"
3,311	daddit	Wow I feel bad for your baby. You're a monster and it doesn't sound like mom is even breastfeeding. Now I know why some kids are so fucked.
3,312	daddit	Christ see a therapist and get on meds...
3,313	daddit	I'm glad this turned around at the end and all, but dude is still seriously messed up with some of the things he said. I worry for the upbringing of that child.
3,314	daddit	Honestly you sound like a selfish fuck. You're walking around soul searching and smoking pot while your wife has depression and you have a newborn kid. Buck up son, and if you can't, leave. Let your wife find some whose worth a fuck
3,315	daddit	You are crazy...
3,316	daddit	Please go talk to a counselor. You have identified that the problem is with how you feel, but it will come back and you can not just use drugs to fix mental health problems. My father is just like how you sound, and my parents marriage was ruined and I haven't spoken to him in years because of his denial of his attitude and negativity towards me. You don't have to hate your children.
3,317	daddit	Postpartum is a thing for men, too. It sounds like you had/have that. I'd seek professional help just to be safe unless you feel like you need to get high anytime something stressful happens.
3,318	daddit	Hate is such a strong word. This reads like someone didn't mentally prepare for parenthood once during pregnancy. Read no books or talked about it with anyone, nor reflected about your upbringing and what you'd do differently or emulate. Your use of the term narcissist might be more apt than you realize. Prepare for not being #1 for the next couple of decades and you'll do ok.
3,319	daddit	You sound like you didn't consider what having a baby is like before having a baby. I'm glad you finally figured out what being a father is about.
3,320	daddit	A defenseless child totally dependent on its parents is now stuck with this wreck and his bitch. Nothing new in this world. Just another monster in the making.
3,321	daddit	Seems like most people didn't bother to read the whole thing. Older parents or more successful people sometimes have a lot more trouble dealing with the total lack of control a new baby presents. They've been in control of their lives and succeeded at everything so long they can't handle it. Younger parents never had time to get used to controlling their lives so they roll with the punches of their lives going out of control. The result is that more successful, accomplished people are more likely to abuse their kids out of rage and frustration.
3,322	daddit	he became "more willing to feed him". amazing epiphany
3,323	daddit	This is pathetic. You are pathetic. You hated your newborn because of your insecurities of your wife being a better parent? So the only reason you don't hate your newborn is because you want to one up your wife? Get real, get therapy, or get adoption before you snap.
3,324	daddit	I CANNOT identify. I raised an am raising still a 9 yo whom isn't my flesh and blood since he was an infant, now he lives 150 miles away and I have never loved anything more. Whatever your problem is, fuck that.
3,325	daddit	The next time you have thoughts about hurting your innocent baby, please check yourself into a hospital. Until then, you need to be seeing a psychologist on the weekly and tell them that you were seriously contemplating murdering a child. While your story might seem nice in the end, it's more like you're putting a bandaid on a gaping wound.
3,326	daddit	Can someone truly hate a baby within 3 weeks after wanting a baby prior? I mean they're babies for crying out loud. Like wouldn't you know what you were getting yourself into if you've always wanted one? And I know you ended up finding out that wasn't the problem so that doesn't truly pertain to you, but the other result sounds just as bad. You hated the baby because you were insecure? What the fuck? The only way I could kinda see that making sense is if you are a high schooler that got a kid by accident. And even that is pushing it. I agree with other people that say you should probably see a medical proffessional, get therapy or something.
3,327	daddit	I'd go from trying to convince myself I love him to, "no. He just fucking sucks. I fucking hate him. I'd trade him for a used condom I hate him so much." what a scumbag thing to say
3,328	daddit	What the fuck? You sound like a narcissistic piece of shit
3,329	daddit	Hey man, I had a real rough year around my baby being born myself. Long story short I ballooned up with to 412lbs. Learn from the your child, to see the world as he does. Keep learning and be open.
3,330	daddit	What about when then get older and stop calling or stop talking to you?
3,331	daddit	Fair play for com g to the realisation and good luck to you. I think there's so much expectation put on parents these days to be madly in love to know what they are doing and be instantly great at it. Fuck that, it's a sleep deprived nightmare filled with thank fuck I didn't kill them on purpose or accident. It's tough, really fucking tough made harder with near torture levels of sleep deprivation and stress. Stress from what the fuck do I do now, stress from other bastards who never stop with the fucking advice, stress from parents, stress from random cunts in the street who feel it's their right to fucking lecture you on the latest trends or what they did 40 fucking years ago, stress from not knowing what the fuck to do, stress from having to know what to do every single day, stress from having something utterly dependant on your actions to not just fucking die on its own. Fuck it, it gets easier, sooner or later you stop giving a fuck about what others think about your parenting skills as you realise we are all pretty much winging it and hoping for the best very day. Hang in there and good luck, it's a fucking ride and a half.
3,332	daddit	While your situation might come off as a tad extreme I think everyone in here can tell fun stories of the sleep deprived mind fuck that the first month after bringing the baby home can be. I mean I didn't share your misdirected hate but I sure as fuck had some insecurities. Still do and the little shit is almost three. Some of it becomes a wake up call to controlling what you can within your household. My wife found that we are most comfortable being bit on the side of overly cautious. I'm sure friends and family talk about us behind our backs but that's okay. I'll take that if I'm comfortable as my head hits the pillow I'm fine with it. Good luck with everything man, it's a hard job but if you have this level of self reflection I think you'll be fine.
3,333	daddit	I felt that way towards my first few kids. I now have eight total and would love to have more. I was really young and ended up with kids due to poor decisions. My wife and I have seven together (17y-10m). Had a vasectomy this year so there will be no more. I sympathize with how you felt and it took me way, way longer to get to where you are.
3,334	daddit	If all that sense of inadequacy frustrated you early on, just wait until he's 18 months or so and you are his hero and he validates everything you do with extreme excitement. You will be overcome with happiness.
3,335	daddit	as babies are wont to do*
3,336	daddit	ive told a few friends they need to re visit weed as a life changer.
3,337	daddit	They don't intaract and attach to you for a little while. My son could give a fuck about me for the longest time, and it makes sense. Naturally, we have nothing to offer an infant besides protection, women have food and natural instincts to deal with the situation. You can't change nature with frustration lol. Anyway, my fun time came when I got my son to smile for the first time (and I did it before his mother lol), he began realizing who I was and reacting after that. It makes a huge difference. Remember that they are a ball of goo, they know nothing, and they probably can't see worth a damn for a while. But it changes when they understand who you are and they get happy to see you. It definitely gets better, and it is extremely frustrating dealing with it for the first time. It's really good that you're talking about it, much better than internalizing it and letting it blow up. Good luck mate. Give it a little time and you'll enjoy it more. Also, there will always be frustrations...just wait until they can start asking questions and doing things just to annoy you lol.
3,338	daddit	Not a parent, I came here from r/all, but I know that feeling well. I feel that way every day at work and it's absolutely awful. It just kills your self esteem, and I'm constantly worried I'm going to make some god-awful mistake and ruin the project. But you get used to it, and can even thrive on it a bit if you teach yourself to see that feeling for what it is: you putting yourself in a position to grow, learn, and improve. It's painful, but it's for the best in the long run.
3,339	daddit	This could almost go on r/unexpected
3,340	daddit	Hey man. Good job turning it around. Keep positive. It gets better with time. And before you know it, that kid is going to look to you for help, and it will be the most rewarding thing in your life. Keep fighting for your wife and your kid. They are worth it.
3,341	daddit	Me I was about to report you somehow to the police in the first 2 paragraphs, glad I read it all.
3,342	daddit	I'm not a dad (hi from /r/all) but this reminds me of my kitten when we first got it (sorry, not trying to say they are comparable!). She used to wake me up multiple times a night because she'd sleep between my legs. It would wake me up and I couldn't roll over because I'd crush her. At some point it clicked I didn't hate her, I hated being woken up. And at some point she got the dies to sleep between my wife's legs instead of mine!
3,343	daddit	Ha, imagine twins. I think everything changed when they started smiling at me. Then the first laugh, OMG, the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And now they're 2.5 yo and the most lovable creations who ever walked on Earth, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
3,344	daddit	wow, that escalated quickly
3,345	daddit	This is amazing, thank you
3,346	daddit	Well put.
3,347	daddit	My first night home with my son had my wife sleeping in our bed while i spent 4 hours trying to get my son to sleep in his crib. He would sleep for no longer than 10 minutes at a time. By the end of the 4 hours, i had no delusion that i knew what i was doing. I guess that experience made sure i never hated him for that. Babies are helpless, and completely dependant on you. More than that, as a parent, you are responsible for them existing in the first place, so it's not like you can blame them. Also, advice from other parents is only kind of helpful, since every baby can be wildly different. If you were curious, my wife and i found out that our son needed to be touching one of us to be able to sleep for tje first 5 monthsor so, so we coslept with him despite being mostly against the idea. Afterwards he was able to sleep by himself. Our daughter does not share this behaviour.
3,348	daddit	Man that first part was a hard read. Being a dad of two, I know how scary it was and still is at times. You get better day by day man. Remember to ask for help. There's no shame brother. You need a break from time to time. Go do something that you used to do to help you unwind. Remember it's all about him now. You will find that grizzly bear turns into something bigger and scary that you will do to make sure he is safe. My boys? I would do anything and I mean anything and go through anything if it meant that they were safe and loved and taken care of.
3,349	daddit	Everyone struggles in different ways. It's hard to hate a kid. Hell I've got them and I don't know how to work them half the time. I think my turn point was when my mom listened to me talking to them and started crying since she thought I was doing a good job at that time. Happy you turned it around and hopefully this post others with the same struggles.
3,350	daddit	Thanks for sharing, man. I didn't hatred, but I remember the feeling of utter hopelessness and "jet lag" I felt for the first couple weeks my son was home. My wife got PPD pretty bad, and I guess I did too in my own way.
3,351	daddit	Thanks for sharing, man. I didn't hatred, but I remember the feeling of utter hopelessness and "jet lag" I felt for the first couple weeks my son was home. My wife got PPD pretty bad, and I guess I did too in my own way.
3,352	daddit	Great learning experience. There's no manual and we're all making this shit up as we go along but, one of my biggest hurdles as a new dad - and a I know many other dads who admit this - was learning patience and understanding on a level never experienced before. I remember how super frustrating and challenging it was, not just as a parent, but as a human fucking being. It eats away at you quickly. But let your patience and love shine through those emotions and you'll keep doing a great job. And if by "bag" you mean "weed," good on ya. It can be a good release, de-stress, much better than turning to the bottole IMO. Take that "Dad" time and refocus your mindset. :)
3,353	daddit	I'm glad you worked it out bud. Confronting your insecurity is a huge step in the right direction for him but most importantly for you. That kind of introspection will take you far in life.
3,354	daddit	You figured out the secret. Good for you. I'm so glad things turned around for you. As men, we don't like to admit our own insecurities. It's even harder for us to accept when other people tell us about our insecurities. Thank you for sharing.
3,355	daddit	Holy crap, that's an incredible turn. Good on you! My 3yr old daughter can be the most frustrating thing in my life. But there's no way in hell I'd ever allow her to come to harm. Right now she's cuddling with a stuffed Pikachu before falling asleep, and I don't regret her for a second.
3,356	daddit	This just reaffirms my desire not to have children with my wife. Yes i read it all the way to the end.
3,357	daddit	It's really hard as a dad at first. The baby is completely dependent on it's mother for the first 6 months until they start eating solid. Even after that they usually prefer mom best. It's not until they get a bit older that the father child bond really solidifies. Early on you're really just there as a mommy helper. Letting her have a bit of time to herself and sorta learning what things you can do for your kid that you both like. Once they start getting older though the fun and adventure multiplies by like 10 million. Teaching them awesome shit and watching them experience the craziness of life is pure gold.
3,358	daddit	I loved my children right away when they were babies. I didn't really start to hate them until they were teenagers.
3,359	daddit	What a nice read, I hope you'll be able to create a meaningful bond with your son. Good luck to your family as happy holidays
3,360	daddit	I cant say I have ever wanted to harm or kill any of my kids.. Are you sure you are ready to be a father? I understand having stress and stuff, but seriously you need to see a therapist or something.
3,361	daddit	I'm saving this for later. 4 months til my little man arrives. This post will be printed, framed and put on my wall.
3,362	daddit	hahahaha wtf
3,363	daddit	I wanted to punch you in your dumb fucking face for the first half of the post, but then you turned around and learned that you like your baby and it made me feel a bit better. How anyone could think they hate their own flesh and blood that depends upon them to survive is beyond me, but hopefully your kid grows up with a supportive father who encourages him to thrive
3,364	daddit	im in my late 30s with no children and no interest in children. i couldnt tell you how many people know have told me they wish they had never had kids. its usually followed up by "dont get me wrong i love my kids, but if i could do it all over again i wouldnt have them". thats pretty powerful to say. so dont beat yourself up about feeling that way. i know so many people who would give being a dad all up if given a second chance.
3,365	daddit	Well, that nearly made me cry.... Hugs. I'm so so glad you feel better. Hope you and your family had a wonderful first Christmas!!
3,366	daddit	Hey man just wanted to thank you for being open and putting into writing what you were feeling internally. All parents know that the first few months are especially "hard" but we don't always share just how dark the internal dialogue can be. You're not crazy. Stay the course. Be strong. Being a dad is the most fulfilling/rewarding thing you will ever do.
3,367	daddit	Dad of 3yo. The best part is you never stop learning or being amazed. She somehow just read me a line out of a spot book.
3,368	daddit	I love this and your honesty
3,369	daddit	Needed this after the last few days. Thank you.
3,370	daddit	Jesus Christ people. https://www.google.com/search?q=define%3Ahyperbole&oq=define%3Ahyperbole&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i58.12416j0j4&client=ms-android-hms-tmobile-us&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
3,371	daddit	what kind of cry baby are you exactly? oh right the giant kind
3,372	daddit	[removed]
3,373	daddit	It sounds like your just a piece of shit lol
3,374	daddit	How old are you dude?
3,375	daddit	Why is it that everyone wants a pat on the back for not punching a baby?
3,376	daddit	Well, Im 20 and I fucking hate my gambling piece of shit father, and Im sure he knows this and hates me back. But to say, if you arent happy with your kid - they can only grow up in a way you make them and let them. If you arent happy about it then go fuck yourself, its the way you let it become.
3,377	daddit	Wtf
3,378	daddit	I understand the feeling. I never have hate, it's always more love than anything. But becoming a parent isn't easy, and sometimes there are people who have it even worse than the average person. I have a few mental conditions and it makes it really tough to be a parent. My son is 2 1/2 and loves me, he always wants my attention and likes to come grab my hand to play, sit in my lap and stuff like that. But I continue doing my own thing, not because I hate him or dislike him, but because of my unhealthy mental state (I don't want to go into details as it's hard to explain). Then I feel like the worst person in the world, like he hates me and that I'm better off not even being around. That feeling generally makes me depressed to the point I don't even fix it. Not to mention, the gigantic hurdle my mental state imposes. I'm getting help for it though, or should say, starting help in a couple of weeks. So hopefully that improves for me. I want to be able to forget about what my mind thinks I need to be doing, and instead, go play with my son for a few hours.
3,379	daddit	:')
3,380	daddit	Hey I'm super annoyed that you're getting so much hate for this post. Good for you, for stepping up as a dad and for kicking postpartum depression's ass
3,381	daddit	clickbait. i dont approve. come on man.
3,382	daddit	I stopped reading halfway through because it was making me sad, read your comment, went back and finished reading and now my day is better :)
3,383	daddit	> I remember being so frustrated trying to feed our little girl while she cried and I was sleep-deprived, and wanting to throw the fucking bottle through the wall. But I never blamed her, so I guess I have a hard time relating. I'll speak in on this. I have really a really bad stress response. When I was sleep deprived, stressed at work, hardly able to feed and take care of myself, anxious about money and my relationship with my daughter's mom, I began to feel threatened by the pressure. I couldn't see a way for it to possibly work. That would cause me to have bursts of anger or just lay down and sleep when I should have been doing something productive for the household. My daughter just turned 3. For the first year and a half, I was not that good of a dad at all. I'm glad I had her mom. I just could not deal by myself. We would have all starved. Years of learning how to recognize my own feelings and the proper way to deal with them, as well as plenty of life planning to help settle things down a bit more, and I feel much better. My daughter and I get along just fine. For a while, though, I was kind of scary and / or pathetic.
3,384	daddit	Calling your 'wife' your 'wide' may just be the most unfortunate typo ever.
3,385	daddit	What about Netflix?
3,386	daddit	And now we pray OP's wife doesn't know his username...
3,387	daddit	Best advice I ever got was on two separate occasions by moms who raised 5 well adjusted, non-shithead children each.... > There is no secret, there is no one w/ perfect advice. Just love them.
3,388	daddit	'd' and 'f' are right next to each other in the keyboard. This was probably just a typo.
3,389	daddit	You krackle me up.
3,390	daddit	LOL, "wide".
3,391	daddit	Think he meant wise...
3,392	daddit	I just want to say thanks for stepping up and getting the kid out of that situation. His life will be infinitely better now that he's with you.
3,393	daddit	Mewtwo, buddy!
3,394	daddit	>I realized that selflessly loving them is all they really need. Know a social worker who shared that kids who have a father in prison but visit him do better than kids who don't see their father at all. Kids just want to know that their dad loves them.
3,395	daddit	You're absolutely right. Also putting a pound sign in front of your text makes it larger instead of putting a pound sign
3,396	daddit	[removed]
3,397	daddit	I'll take your suggestion one step further. Don't wait for next time - start talking to a therapist now. The extremity of his feelings and the inability to recognize the root cause is absolutely going to crop up again in his life. And while this story had a happy ending, you never know what may happen next time. Talking about all of this with a therapist now will provide him with the tools he needs to help get him through the next challenge in life much more easily.
3,398	daddit	I keep seeing this. I think i need therapy. I hate the idea of psychologists and discussing bullshit at 120$/h. I'm lucky enough to have few friends with usually better opinions. But I've been looking into cognitive therapy. It just looks awesome. I would love to find someone who does that but as of now in my small city. It looks like the only one offering it use it for the buzz word Would you share what type of therapy you did?
3,399	daddit	[deleted]
3,400	daddit	It can't be"easy" to walk away unless you have serious issues.

3,301

daddit

Holy shit dude, that was a good story. Rock on, you magnificent dad. Rock on.

3,302

daddit

This is buried and I don't know if you'll see this, but thank you for posting this. My husband was similar to you for the first 4+ months of our son's life, and eventually got over it too. I've had a really hard time forgiving him, and getting over things he said during that period of our life. While I don't know how similar your heart and his are, your story gave me a new perspective on my husband that helps me a lot. Thanks.

3,303

daddit

I went through something similar with both of my kids... Still do sometimes. It passes. I'm glad you were able to fight through it. There's always a shitty point... The non-stop crying moves on to teething, then comes terrible-twos/threes, toilet training. I think it doesn't start to get REALLY good until about 4 yrs old. Be there for your wife and have your wife be there for you. I sure as hell tould have checked out long ago if it wasn't for my wife. Talk things through with her and make sure she gets the help she needs. (Both you and a therapist.) I also found that therapy helped. Bond with your kid and try and have more positive experiences with them... Even if it's just a nap in front of the TV. Also, check out the subreddit /r/breakingdad Sometimes it helps to vent.

3,304

daddit

That last sentence is possibly the best thing I've ever read, and to be honest I share the same sentiment. I've got two children of my own, my 3 year old daughter and my 1 year old son. During the pregnancy for my daughter, I'd never felt such excitement, but with my son, I didn't feel as excited. Unfortunately when my son was born, he didn't get all of the fluid out of his lungs, so he was rushed off to the high dependency unit. So instead of holding my son, and bonding with him, I watched as doctors and nurses hurried around him. I was then left with the decision to either stay with my wife or to go with my son. My wife made the decision for me, and I followed, uselessly, behind as my son was rushed to the high dependency unit, once there I was allowed a few minutes with him, before I was ushered into a corridor outside. I sat in that corridor alone and unsure whether I would ever hold my boy. I'm not afraid to admit that I cried, in fact I didn't cry, I fell apart. But I had to pull myself together, I still had my daughter and my wife needed me as well. So I walked back to the room where my wife was, and put on my brave face, no-one was allowed to see me weak. Fortunately he pulled through, after a course of antibiotics he cleared up, but he had to remain in hospital for a few days with my wife, whilst I split myself between looking after my daughter, with the help of my mum, who is an absolute saint, and the hospital. I didn't get to hold my son until he was a couple of days old, and I honestly struggled to bond with him. Happily our bond is getting stronger, but it isn't the same as the bond I have with my daughter. I love that little guy, and I'd fight a bear to protect him, but I'll never forget how helpless I felt when he was born. The NHS is wonderful, I'm British, and they were fantastic with us, but the support for dads just isn't there, I've already told my wife that when our kids have children I'll be at the hospital to support my son and my daughter's partner. I don't want them to be alone. I've needed to get this off my chest for a while now, so thank you for providing me with the opportunity to do so.

3,305

daddit

Wow . What a great , honest post . Well done dude .

3,306

daddit

At first I thought the infant stage was rough. It just gets progressively harder. At least once they can wipe their own asses it helps a little haha.

3,307

daddit

So we are gonna ignore the fact this psycho said he wanted to murder his kid just because his own narcissistic tendencies made him jealous that his wife is a better caregiver? I'm sorry but are you also going to snap when he does something better than you can in the future? I'm tempted to contact child services honestly, this is a horrible post and you should be ashamed of yourself. Go get help.

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3,309

daddit

"I just wanted to punch him in his dumb fucking face" LOL That was fun to read. Eventually he's gonna grow up to hate you!

3,310

daddit

so, the moral of the story is "if you're a new dad, get high and you'll realize you're just shit, and then start loving your booger monster!"

3,311

daddit

Wow I feel bad for your baby. You're a monster and it doesn't sound like mom is even breastfeeding. Now I know why some kids are so fucked.

3,312

daddit

Christ see a therapist and get on meds...

3,313

daddit

I'm glad this turned around at the end and all, but dude is still seriously messed up with some of the things he said. I worry for the upbringing of that child.

3,314

daddit

Honestly you sound like a selfish fuck. You're walking around soul searching and smoking pot while your wife has depression and you have a newborn kid. Buck up son, and if you can't, leave. Let your wife find some whose worth a fuck

3,315

daddit

You are crazy...

3,316

daddit

Please go talk to a counselor. You have identified that the problem is with how you feel, but it will come back and you can not just use drugs to fix mental health problems. My father is just like how you sound, and my parents marriage was ruined and I haven't spoken to him in years because of his denial of his attitude and negativity towards me. You don't have to hate your children.

3,317

daddit

Postpartum is a thing for men, too. It sounds like you had/have that. I'd seek professional help just to be safe unless you feel like you need to get high anytime something stressful happens.

3,318

daddit

Hate is such a strong word. This reads like someone didn't mentally prepare for parenthood once during pregnancy. Read no books or talked about it with anyone, nor reflected about your upbringing and what you'd do differently or emulate. Your use of the term narcissist might be more apt than you realize. Prepare for not being #1 for the next couple of decades and you'll do ok.

3,319

daddit

You sound like you didn't consider what having a baby is like before having a baby. I'm glad you finally figured out what being a father is about.

3,320

daddit

A defenseless child totally dependent on its parents is now stuck with this wreck and his bitch. Nothing new in this world. Just another monster in the making.

3,321

daddit

Seems like most people didn't bother to read the whole thing. Older parents or more successful people sometimes have a lot more trouble dealing with the total lack of control a new baby presents. They've been in control of their lives and succeeded at everything so long they can't handle it. Younger parents never had time to get used to controlling their lives so they roll with the punches of their lives going out of control. The result is that more successful, accomplished people are more likely to abuse their kids out of rage and frustration.

3,322

daddit

he became "more willing to feed him". amazing epiphany

3,323

daddit

This is pathetic. You are pathetic. You hated your newborn because of your insecurities of your wife being a better parent? So the only reason you don't hate your newborn is because you want to one up your wife? Get real, get therapy, or get adoption before you snap.

3,324

daddit

I CANNOT identify. I raised an am raising still a 9 yo whom isn't my flesh and blood since he was an infant, now he lives 150 miles away and I have never loved anything more. Whatever your problem is, fuck that.

3,325

daddit

The next time you have thoughts about hurting your innocent baby, please check yourself into a hospital. Until then, you need to be seeing a psychologist on the weekly and tell them that you were seriously contemplating murdering a child. While your story might seem nice in the end, it's more like you're putting a bandaid on a gaping wound.

3,326

daddit

Can someone truly **hate** a baby within 3 weeks after wanting a baby prior? I mean they're babies for crying out loud. Like wouldn't you know what you were getting yourself into if you've always wanted one? And I know you ended up finding out that wasn't the problem so that doesn't truly pertain to you, but the other result sounds just as bad. You hated the baby because you were insecure? What the fuck? The only way I could kinda see that making sense is if you are a high schooler that got a kid by accident. And even that is pushing it. I agree with other people that say you should probably see a medical proffessional, get therapy or something.

3,327

daddit

I'd go from trying to convince myself I love him to, "no. He just fucking sucks. I fucking hate him. I'd trade him for a used condom I hate him so much." what a scumbag thing to say

3,328

daddit

What the fuck? You sound like a narcissistic piece of shit

3,329

daddit

Hey man, I had a real rough year around my baby being born myself. Long story short I ballooned up with to 412lbs. Learn from the your child, to see the world as he does. Keep learning and be open.

3,330

daddit

What about when then get older and stop calling or stop talking to you?

3,331

daddit

Fair play for com g to the realisation and good luck to you. I think there's so much expectation put on parents these days to be madly in love to know what they are doing and be instantly great at it. Fuck that, it's a sleep deprived nightmare filled with thank fuck I didn't kill them on purpose or accident. It's tough, really fucking tough made harder with near torture levels of sleep deprivation and stress. Stress from what the fuck do I do now, stress from other bastards who never stop with the fucking advice, stress from parents, stress from random cunts in the street who feel it's their right to fucking lecture you on the latest trends or what they did 40 fucking years ago, stress from not knowing what the fuck to do, stress from having to know what to do every single day, stress from having something utterly dependant on your actions to not just fucking die on its own. Fuck it, it gets easier, sooner or later you stop giving a fuck about what others think about your parenting skills as you realise we are all pretty much winging it and hoping for the best very day. Hang in there and good luck, it's a fucking ride and a half.

3,332

daddit

While your situation might come off as a tad extreme I think everyone in here can tell fun stories of the sleep deprived mind fuck that the first month after bringing the baby home can be. I mean I didn't share your misdirected hate but I sure as fuck had some insecurities. Still do and the little shit is almost three. Some of it becomes a wake up call to controlling what you can within your household. My wife found that we are most comfortable being bit on the side of overly cautious. I'm sure friends and family talk about us behind our backs but that's okay. I'll take that if I'm comfortable as my head hits the pillow I'm fine with it. Good luck with everything man, it's a hard job but if you have this level of self reflection I think you'll be fine.

3,333

daddit

I felt that way towards my first few kids. I now have eight total and would love to have more. I was really young and ended up with kids due to poor decisions. My wife and I have seven together (17y-10m). Had a vasectomy this year so there will be no more. I sympathize with how you felt and it took me way, way longer to get to where you are.

3,334

daddit

If all that sense of inadequacy frustrated you early on, just wait until he's 18 months or so and you are his hero and he validates everything you do with extreme excitement. You will be overcome with happiness.

3,335

daddit

as babies are wont to do*

3,336

daddit

ive told a few friends they need to re visit weed as a life changer.

3,337

daddit

They don't intaract and attach to you for a little while. My son could give a fuck about me for the longest time, and it makes sense. Naturally, we have nothing to offer an infant besides protection, women have food and natural instincts to deal with the situation. You can't change nature with frustration lol. Anyway, my fun time came when I got my son to smile for the first time (and I did it before his mother lol), he began realizing who I was and reacting after that. It makes a huge difference. Remember that they are a ball of goo, they know nothing, and they probably can't see worth a damn for a while. But it changes when they understand who you are and they get happy to see you. It definitely gets better, and it is extremely frustrating dealing with it for the first time. It's really good that you're talking about it, much better than internalizing it and letting it blow up. Good luck mate. Give it a little time and you'll enjoy it more. Also, there will always be frustrations...just wait until they can start asking questions and doing things just to annoy you lol.

3,338

daddit

Not a parent, I came here from r/all, but I know that feeling well. I feel that way every day at work and it's absolutely awful. It just kills your self esteem, and I'm constantly worried I'm going to make some god-awful mistake and ruin the project. But you get used to it, and can even thrive on it a bit if you teach yourself to see that feeling for what it is: you putting yourself in a position to grow, learn, and improve. It's painful, but it's for the best in the long run.

3,339

daddit

This could almost go on r/unexpected

3,340

daddit

Hey man. Good job turning it around. Keep positive. It gets better with time. And before you know it, that kid is going to look to you for help, and it will be the most rewarding thing in your life. Keep fighting for your wife and your kid. They are worth it.

3,341

daddit

Me I was about to report you somehow to the police in the first 2 paragraphs, glad I read it all.

3,342

daddit

I'm not a dad (hi from /r/all) but this reminds me of my kitten when we first got it (sorry, not trying to say they are comparable!). She used to wake me up multiple times a night because she'd sleep between my legs. It would wake me up and I couldn't roll over because I'd crush her. At some point it clicked I didn't hate her, I hated being woken up. And at some point she got the dies to sleep between my wife's legs instead of mine!

3,343

daddit

Ha, imagine twins. I think everything changed when they started smiling at me. Then the first laugh, OMG, the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And now they're 2.5 yo and the most lovable creations who ever walked on Earth, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

3,344

daddit

wow, that escalated quickly

3,345

daddit

This is amazing, thank you

3,346

daddit

Well put.

3,347

daddit

My first night home with my son had my wife sleeping in our bed while i spent 4 hours trying to get my son to sleep in his crib. He would sleep for no longer than 10 minutes at a time. By the end of the 4 hours, i had no delusion that i knew what i was doing. I guess that experience made sure i never hated him for that. Babies are helpless, and completely dependant on you. More than that, as a parent, you are responsible for them existing in the first place, so it's not like you can blame them. Also, advice from other parents is only kind of helpful, since every baby can be wildly different. If you were curious, my wife and i found out that our son needed to be touching one of us to be able to sleep for tje first 5 monthsor so, so we coslept with him despite being mostly against the idea. Afterwards he was able to sleep by himself. Our daughter does not share this behaviour.

3,348

daddit

Man that first part was a hard read. Being a dad of two, I know how scary it was and still is at times. You get better day by day man. Remember to ask for help. There's no shame brother. You need a break from time to time. Go do something that you used to do to help you unwind. Remember it's all about him now. You will find that grizzly bear turns into something bigger and scary that you will do to make sure he is safe. My boys? I would do anything and I mean anything and go through anything if it meant that they were safe and loved and taken care of.

3,349

daddit

Everyone struggles in different ways. It's hard to hate a kid. Hell I've got them and I don't know how to work them half the time. I think my turn point was when my mom listened to me talking to them and started crying since she thought I was doing a good job at that time. Happy you turned it around and hopefully this post others with the same struggles.

3,350

daddit

Thanks for sharing, man. I didn't hatred, but I remember the feeling of utter hopelessness and "jet lag" I felt for the first couple weeks my son was home. My wife got PPD pretty bad, and I guess I did too in my own way.

3,351

daddit

Thanks for sharing, man. I didn't hatred, but I remember the feeling of utter hopelessness and "jet lag" I felt for the first couple weeks my son was home. My wife got PPD pretty bad, and I guess I did too in my own way.

3,352

daddit

Great learning experience. There's no manual and we're all making this shit up as we go along but, one of my biggest hurdles as a new dad - and a I know many other dads who admit this - was learning patience and understanding on a level never experienced before. I remember how super frustrating and challenging it was, not just as a parent, but as a human fucking being. It eats away at you quickly. But let your patience and love shine through those emotions and you'll keep doing a great job. And if by "bag" you mean "weed," good on ya. It can be a good release, de-stress, much better than turning to the bottole IMO. Take that "Dad" time and refocus your mindset. :)

3,353

daddit

I'm glad you worked it out bud. Confronting your insecurity is a huge step in the right direction for him but most importantly for you. That kind of introspection will take you far in life.

3,354

daddit

You figured out the secret. Good for you. I'm so glad things turned around for you. As men, we don't like to admit our own insecurities. It's even harder for us to accept when other people tell us about our insecurities. Thank you for sharing.

3,355

daddit

Holy crap, that's an incredible turn. Good on you! My 3yr old daughter can be the most frustrating thing in my life. But there's no way in hell I'd ever allow her to come to harm. Right now she's cuddling with a stuffed Pikachu before falling asleep, and I don't regret her for a second.

3,356

daddit

This just reaffirms my desire not to have children with my wife. Yes i read it all the way to the end.

3,357

daddit

It's really hard as a dad at first. The baby is completely dependent on it's mother for the first 6 months until they start eating solid. Even after that they usually prefer mom best. It's not until they get a bit older that the father child bond really solidifies. Early on you're really just there as a mommy helper. Letting her have a bit of time to herself and sorta learning what things you can do for your kid that you both like. Once they start getting older though the fun and adventure multiplies by like 10 million. Teaching them awesome shit and watching them experience the craziness of life is pure gold.

3,358

daddit

I loved my children right away when they were babies. I didn't really start to hate them until they were teenagers.

3,359

daddit

What a nice read, I hope you'll be able to create a meaningful bond with your son. Good luck to your family as happy holidays

3,360

daddit

I cant say I have ever wanted to harm or kill any of my kids.. Are you sure you are ready to be a father? I understand having stress and stuff, but seriously you need to see a therapist or something.

3,361

daddit

I'm saving this for later. 4 months til my little man arrives. This post will be printed, framed and put on my wall.

3,362

daddit

hahahaha wtf

3,363

daddit

I wanted to punch you in your dumb fucking face for the first half of the post, but then you turned around and learned that you like your baby and it made me feel a bit better. How anyone could think they hate their own flesh and blood that depends upon them to survive is beyond me, but hopefully your kid grows up with a supportive father who encourages him to thrive

3,364

daddit

im in my late 30s with no children and no interest in children. i couldnt tell you how many people know have told me they wish they had never had kids. its usually followed up by "dont get me wrong i love my kids, but if i could do it all over again i wouldnt have them". thats pretty powerful to say. so dont beat yourself up about feeling that way. i know so many people who would give being a dad all up if given a second chance.

3,365

daddit

Well, that nearly made me cry.... Hugs. I'm so so glad you feel better. Hope you and your family had a wonderful first Christmas!!

3,366

daddit

Hey man just wanted to thank you for being open and putting into writing what you were feeling internally. All parents know that the first few months are especially "hard" but we don't always share just how dark the internal dialogue can be. You're not crazy. Stay the course. Be strong. Being a dad is the most fulfilling/rewarding thing you will ever do.

3,367

daddit

Dad of 3yo. The best part is you never stop learning or being amazed. She somehow just read me a line out of a spot book.

3,368

daddit

I love this and your honesty

3,369

daddit

Needed this after the last few days. Thank you.

3,370

daddit

Jesus Christ people. https://www.google.com/search?q=define%3Ahyperbole&oq=define%3Ahyperbole&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i58.12416j0j4&client=ms-android-hms-tmobile-us&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

3,371

daddit

what kind of cry baby are you exactly? oh right the giant kind

3,372

daddit

[removed]

3,373

daddit

It sounds like your just a piece of shit lol

3,374

daddit

How old are you dude?

3,375

daddit

Why is it that everyone wants a pat on the back for not punching a baby?

3,376

daddit

Well, Im 20 and I fucking hate my gambling piece of shit father, and Im sure he knows this and hates me back. But to say, if you arent happy with your kid - they can only grow up in a way you make them and let them. If you arent happy about it then go fuck yourself, its the way you let it become.

3,377

daddit

Wtf

3,378

daddit

I understand the feeling. I never have hate, it's always more love than anything. But becoming a parent isn't easy, and sometimes there are people who have it even worse than the average person. I have a few mental conditions and it makes it really tough to be a parent. My son is 2 1/2 and loves me, he always wants my attention and likes to come grab my hand to play, sit in my lap and stuff like that. But I continue doing my own thing, not because I hate him or dislike him, but because of my unhealthy mental state (I don't want to go into details as it's hard to explain). Then I feel like the worst person in the world, like he hates me and that I'm better off not even being around. That feeling generally makes me depressed to the point I don't even fix it. Not to mention, the gigantic hurdle my mental state imposes. I'm getting help for it though, or should say, starting help in a couple of weeks. So hopefully that improves for me. I want to be able to forget about what my mind thinks I need to be doing, and instead, go play with my son for a few hours.

3,379

daddit

:')

3,380

daddit

Hey I'm super annoyed that you're getting so much hate for this post. Good for you, for stepping up as a dad and for kicking postpartum depression's ass

3,381

daddit

clickbait. i dont approve. come on man.

3,382

daddit

I stopped reading halfway through because it was making me sad, read your comment, went back and finished reading and now my day is better :)

3,383

daddit

> I remember being so frustrated trying to feed our little girl while she cried and I was sleep-deprived, and wanting to throw the fucking bottle through the wall. But I never blamed her, so I guess I have a hard time relating. I'll speak in on this. I have really a really bad stress response. When I was sleep deprived, stressed at work, hardly able to feed and take care of myself, anxious about money and my relationship with my daughter's mom, I began to feel *threatened* by the pressure. I couldn't see a way for it to possibly work. That would cause me to have bursts of anger or just lay down and sleep when I should have been doing something productive for the household. My daughter just turned 3. For the first year and a half, I was not that good of a dad at all. I'm glad I had her mom. I just could not deal by myself. We would have all starved. Years of learning how to recognize my own feelings and the proper way to deal with them, as well as plenty of life planning to help settle things down a bit more, and I feel much better. My daughter and I get along just fine. For a while, though, I was kind of scary and / or pathetic.

3,384

daddit

Calling your 'wife' your 'wide' may just be the most unfortunate typo ever.

3,385

daddit

What about Netflix?

3,386

daddit

And now we pray OP's wife doesn't know his username...

3,387

daddit

Best advice I ever got was on two separate occasions by moms who raised 5 well adjusted, non-shithead children each.... > There is no secret, there is no one w/ perfect advice. Just love them.

3,388

daddit

'd' and 'f' are right next to each other in the keyboard. This was probably just a typo.

3,389

daddit

You krackle me up.

3,390

daddit

LOL, "wide".

3,391

daddit

Think he meant wise...

3,392

daddit

I just want to say thanks for stepping up and getting the kid out of that situation. His life will be infinitely better now that he's with you.

3,393

daddit

Mewtwo, buddy!

3,394

daddit

>I realized that selflessly loving them is all they really need. Know a social worker who shared that kids who have a father in prison but visit him do better than kids who don't see their father at all. Kids just want to know that their dad loves them.

3,395

daddit

You're absolutely right. Also putting a pound sign in front of your text makes it larger instead of putting a pound sign

3,396

daddit

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3,397

daddit

I'll take your suggestion one step further. Don't wait for next time - start talking to a therapist *now*. The extremity of his feelings and the inability to recognize the root cause is absolutely going to crop up again in his life. And while this story had a happy ending, you never know what may happen next time. Talking about all of this with a therapist now will provide him with the tools he needs to help get him through the next challenge in life much more easily.

3,398

daddit

I keep seeing this. I think i need therapy. I hate the idea of psychologists and discussing bullshit at 120$/h. I'm lucky enough to have few friends with usually better opinions. But I've been looking into cognitive therapy. It just looks awesome. I would love to find someone who does that but as of now in my small city. It looks like the only one offering it use it for the buzz word Would you share what type of therapy you did?

3,399

daddit

[deleted]

3,400

daddit

It can't be"easy" to walk away unless you have serious issues.