dlb/mentalreddit · Datasets at Hugging Face

id int64 1 7.31M	subreddit stringclasses 108 values	comment stringlengths 1 10k ⌀
4,601	daddit	Wana play a fun game, op.... See how many people posting in this thread are first time daddit posters.... Strange that... Lol
4,602	daddit	I'm going to need a "female" with huge framed glasses (no perscription on the lenses) to tell me if it's ok to like this or not. I don't want to assume anyone's gender without permission from someone with rainbow colored hair and multiple piercings.
4,603	daddit	Nothing "natural" about it. Babies are clean slates. We encourage/discourage different behaviors for different genders.
4,604	daddit	OP: I love that your lil one does this, that's awesome to see his interest and interaction with his family and the world. I just don't want to see you make the jump from "this is my experience with my two girls and a boy" to "this is how girls and boys are different". That is probably just their individual personalities, or maybe there are subtle, non-harmful ways your parenting style may have nudged them towards gender roles. I'm not in any way trying to criticize you, I just think that it's best not to fall into the trap of thinking your anecdote is somehow the natural order.
4,605	daddit	Steve jobs alive and well!
4,606	daddit	I have fixed my own pain in the ass dishwasher 3 times. I've never used clamps before. That must be what I've been doing wrong. I'd get my son or my dad to help but they're too busy pretending to be a ninja and not calling me.
4,607	daddit	All my kids (a boy and two girls) will get pissed if grandpa and me don't let them 'help'. Except my son keeps stealing my cordless screwdriver and puts holes in things with it.
4,608	daddit	Lol
4,609	daddit	I think you just got a smart son. Two out of 3 of my nieces do this shit, while my nephew couldn't be bothered.
4,610	daddit	tfw I will never be a dad
4,611	daddit	I have two daughters who are 5 and 2 and anytime I make food or put something together/fix something I get them to help. They love it and it's relaxing.
4,612	daddit	This is an opportune time for your kid to learn the difference between 110 and 220.
4,613	daddit	My 4 year old son just helped his grandfather pull up carpet and put in wood flooring.
4,614	daddit	What a nice unusual family picture.
4,615	daddit	DID YOU JUST ASSIGN ITS GENDER
4,616	daddit	Dear OP: Your influencing your kids and calling it "nature." Try not to do that so much, it's dumb and it makes you make bad decisions.
4,617	daddit	Gender is a social construct ....kek......
4,618	daddit	I thought maybe this was an honest mistake, then I saw your posts stridently defending casual sexism. I hope that your son learns to respect everyone equally, instead copying his father's barely-masked bigotry.
4,619	daddit	[deleted]
4,620	daddit	Did you just assign a GENDER! KEEP YUR HATE SPEECH UTTA DIS CAMPUS
4,621	daddit	/r/boysplaining
4,622	daddit	I know you've got a lot of shit for this post but didn't you post it because it's a picture of a boy doing what you expect a boy to do? If he's acting naturally, as you've said, why is this occurrence significant enough to be noticed, captured and then posted? It's pure trigger material.
4,623	daddit	Ahhhh reminds me of when my dad taught me to fix the dishwasher, but back in those days the only way to get your dishwasher working again was to smack her.
4,624	daddit	There is nothing natural about that behavior. Gender begins to instruct us the moment we are born, however we begin to gender children as soon as we ask that important question to the mother: boy or girl
4,625	daddit	ITT: anecdotes.
4,626	daddit	I have an 18 month old girl when she sees me working with tools she wants to work with tools also. Working with tools isn't a gendered interest, but it is certainly cool if that is your son's interest and not your daughters.
4,627	daddit	Why is grandpa using wood clamps to fix a dishwasher?
4,628	daddit	How someone acts is a combination of Nature and Nurture. People are born with a certain personality and are raised in a way which shapes that personality. The reason why he acts like how a boy "naturally behaves" is most likely because you raised him differently either subconsciously or consciously. Christ the gender hate on reddit is getting tiring
4,629	daddit	Excuse me, excuse me, are you assuming it's gender?!?!?!
4,630	daddit	Have you just assumed a gender?
4,631	daddit	Did you just assume it's gender?
4,632	daddit	N=3. My BS meter is clocking in the red.
4,633	daddit	Did you raise them like "girls" and him like a "boy"?
4,634	daddit	This is the most "reddit" thread I have every seen. The "Boy and girls are different!" jerk and the "Its nurture not nature!" jerk. Plus all the jokey "did you assume his gender" comments.
4,635	daddit	could be a result of many influences sending the message of what little boys should be like ..or could be his natural interests which aren't decided by gender regardless ..foster his interests..but comments like "oh what a boy ! " aren't necessary and instill a surface level way of thinking about things
4,636	daddit	[deleted]
4,637	daddit	Shame on you for perpetuating archaic gender stereotypes
4,638	daddit	Did you just assume his gender?
4,639	daddit	/r/thathappened
4,640	daddit	Yep, I know the feeling. When my son (5) asks "Can I help?" I know what he's really asking is "Uh, hey, what if that task you're doing took 3-5x as long to complete, would that be okay?". "Sure, kiddo."
4,641	daddit	I think it's funny that this post has nearly 100 comments and you are one of the first people to actually say something about the picture.
4,642	daddit	http://i.imgur.com/p5kO4n8.gifv
4,643	daddit	[deleted]
4,644	daddit	This is exactly right!!! Son of my own has to be helping me all the time. Just accept that the task will not be completed and the new task is a teaching moment for the child (whatever that me be)...
4,645	daddit	I always used to think I helped my dad finish our basement when I was very young (4isj). When I was 12 I found a picture of it. I had a plastic hammer. Even still, you know, thinking I helped made me want to help out more often, and eventually I did start doing real things.
4,646	daddit	just 10 years left for me! and couting
4,647	daddit	Cork? Spring for synthetic gaskets. You'll never look back.
4,648	daddit	Two girls than a boy also, at 3 he played with barbies because thats what the girls had, at 6 he has the girls playing with superheros and playing skylanders with him
4,649	daddit	I feel lucky my lil girl likes trucks and tools. Though hammers and things with wheels are cool no matter the gender.
4,650	daddit	I'm watching Skylanders on Netflix with my daughter. Great writing... I find myself chuckling often.
4,651	daddit	Did you just want 3 or did you really want to try to get a boy? I have a 2nd girl on the way
4,652	daddit	That's awesome. I can see some of that in my girls too. I definitely have a "Tomboy" in the mix, but she's also the one that is obsessed with rainbows and unicorns. I've gotten a few downvotes on my comments, so I think there are probably people out there that get ruffled up when people talk about gender roles. I'm generalizing a little in my post title. I realize that boys and girls do not always fit in the stereotypical roles. And sometimes we see what we want to see when we watch how they act. Our ears perk up when we see a girl acting motherly, or we pay more attention when a boy acts like how we think a boy should act. But there also is something very different about their behavior on a fundamental level, and it's a little harder to define because it doesn't necessarily have to do with their interests (I also have a little girl that loves helping me work on cars), but more their attitudes or thought processes. I think it's awesome that your daughter helps you deconstruct things. Exploration, and destruction are important activities for children. It's great that she has such an outlet to experience these things with her Dad in an encouraging and safe environment.
4,653	daddit	gotta get her off that meth man, they'll take anything apart when they're on one.
4,654	daddit	Yes, there are always exceptions. We know, thank you. I actually think it's far more interesting to find common traits within the sexes. I appreciate people who celebrate their children's uniqueness but, ironically, bringing up an outlier every time we think we have a commonality adds nothing to the actual post.
4,655	daddit	Technically she has been doing it for years.
4,656	daddit	Yup, my daughter [insists ](https://i.imgur.com/3lc2d94.jpg)on helping out.
4,657	daddit	I'd get the death stare if I got in my dad's way. As a result I can barely fix a clogged drain.
4,658	daddit	My son is older (11)and does nothing but video games. Even if I take the elctronics he does nothing. .even with options I give him. My daughter (8) is a total bro. Hiking, working on the car with me, planting, bug collecting, pest management (Id'd plant diseases and bugs) is always dirty. Its funny and awesome.
4,659	daddit	This paragraph would trigger a lot of people in other subreddits, great we are here On daddit, it really makes me want to have a kid
4,660	daddit	I love it. I realize that all children are different. Note that it's my father-in-law on the floor fixing my dishwasher. I would have been the little boy covering himself with stickers when I was little. The last thing I wanted to do when I was young was wrestle. But that's part of the puzzle, right? My son, somehow is even more "Manly" than his own father, who is his key representative from the land of Men. He has come up with this stuff that is cliche stereotypical "Boy" behavior, and he came up with it entirely in a vacuum.
4,661	daddit	Not just you, the world also. Cartoons, other kids, adults they see... Kids don't grow in isolation, and they learn from what they see. It's very difficult to work out what is environmental and what is not.
4,662	daddit	It's funny you should mention it. No, he is not, but he get's accused of being Mandy fairly regularly. It's strange for me, because I only really know Mandy from Princess Bride.
4,663	daddit	I don't think he looks like who you think he looks like.
4,664	daddit	He's psychoanalyzing the shit out of that little kid
4,665	daddit	[deleted]
4,666	daddit	If the cabinets in my house had no lock I ignored them. If they were locked it was like i was put on earth for no reason but to find out what that lock was protecting and drink it
4,667	daddit	My parents would just put everything out of my reach and put plastic bags and plastic plates etc. under the sink and reachable cupboards to sate my curiosity. Every morning I would rummage through and pull everything out and happily leave the kitchen a mess. They were incredibly patient with cleaning up my messes now that I think of it.
4,668	daddit	[deleted]
4,669	daddit	Don't any radical feminists have kids of their own?
4,670	daddit	Seriously. I should have seen it coming, but I was tired when I decided to post it... I regret nothing! I do not regret being proud of my son for acting like a man. No more than I am proud of him when he is gentle and kind and nurturing to those around him. And I am proud of my daughters the same.
4,671	daddit	I saw that the far-and-away highest voted comment was "WELL IN MY FAMILY ITS THE OPPOSITE!" And I knew that jimmies were rustled
4,672	daddit	Seriously. I can't believe that so many are offended by the concept that kids are shaped by their environment...
4,673	daddit	It turned out to be a problem with the drain pump. At least, we think that was the problem. Really what happened was we took the entire thing apart, couldn't find anything wrong, and put it back together again in defeat. But once we had it back together it ran fine. ... you know, maybe the kid actually fixed it.
4,674	daddit	For the record, I have two girls and I would consider both of them as being very "typical" girls, but they are night and day different from each other. And out of my three children, the youngest girl is the most hyper and aggressive (or maybe better described as "emotional").
4,675	daddit	> as a formal challenge to gender roles cringe
4,676	daddit	That's awesome. I think girls should know how to use tools. My wife was never raised to understand tools, and she is so intimidated by them she can't even hang a picture on her own.
4,677	daddit	Nobody cares.
4,678	daddit	why not?
4,679	daddit	I was worried at first. Because I myself am not what I, or most people, would consider "Manly". I mean, I'm a guy. But there's a reason why my father-in-law is the one laying on the floor working on my dishwasher in this picture. So, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to properly teach my little guy how to do guy things, and really get his hands dirty. He would be raised by my crafty wife and his two older sisters, who insist on walking everywhere in pink tutus. I had nightmares of coming home and finding my son wearing one of their pink tutus. But it turned out that all of my fears were completely unfounded. Sure, he picks up some things from his sisters. He sometimes carries around dolls, which I'm perfectly okay with, because, you know, he sees his Dad carrying around babies sometimes too. But he also turns everything into a gun and he enjoys diving off the back of the couch while making explosion sounds. Then when he smacks his nose on the ground he cries a little and gets over it instead of it becoming week long drama like his sisters. He also is infatuated with Superman. His sisters saw comic book heroes, guys and girls, and they never gave them a second thought. They would rather pretend they are horses than flying superheroes. The list of differences goes on and on, right down to his pockets stuffed full of a toy motorcycle that he begged for at the store.
4,680	daddit	Man, I wish it was a can of worms! Worms are genderless! What I opened was a Pandora's Box filled with children of ambiguous gender role.
4,681	daddit	And it's fantastic. She loves you and wants to be with you, and these are the places where she gets that, and in turn it's producing a strong confident well rounded woman. You sound like an awesome dad.
4,682	daddit	All people are different from each other
4,683	daddit	Yeah they are different, but you can't deny that a huge part of that is because of the media and friends around them. I mean, yes testosterone and estrogen do affect them, but I don't think those hormones make someone inherently more into tools/dolls. I am a feminine woman myself, and I was more into dinosaurs and marine life and the outdoors than dolls and princesses.
4,684	daddit	[deleted]
4,685	daddit	oh chill the fuck out. just because your experience was different then op's doesnt mean you need to go off.
4,686	daddit	> It's not the nature of little boys, it's the nature of this specific boy. It's the nature of most boys, really. Think of it like a bell curve, with hardgay on the far left, moderate manliness in the middle hump, and extreme testosterone douchebaggery on the far right.
4,687	daddit	God. We get it, just because you're a shit father and you are purposely raising your sons to be weak and worthless men doesn't mean it's "unnatural". Fine, fuck off with your whining.
4,688	daddit	That's awesome. Thank you for sharing, even 5 years late. It was nice to see this picture pop back up again. I can tell you. Five years later, my little dude is still very interested in being like his dad. He's forever curious and tinkering. Turning everything over to see how it works and shaking bits of it onto the floor. His new things is wrestling with me. He's always in competition to see if he is stronger than I am or faster or smarter or more knowledgeable. He spent 15 minutes yesterday on a long walk talking non-stop about Minecraft, and then included a pop quiz at the end to see if I was listening. I aced it. It was the proudest test I've ever passed. I love my little guy. I love that you love your step son. You are a good dad. Good dads will save the world.
4,689	daddit	I don't think that is an example of boys and girls being different, it is an example of your children being different. I was super into the outdoors as a little girl, and there were plenty more like me.
4,690	daddit	Get over yourself for real, [the rule is boys once they reach a certain age will naturally prefer manly toys.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160715114739.htm) Hell even [male chimps prefer male toys.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2583786/) There's nothing wrong with characterising certain traits as boyish and certrain traits are girly. There's also nothing wrong with boys and girls having both boyish and girly traits. There's also nothing wrong with parents being proud of their boyish boy or girly girl because of their specific traits. As long as OP doesn't berate his child for doing something girly I really don't see the problem.
4,691	daddit	I know, right? Honestly, I don't feel like a lot of them are really even "Dad" material.
4,692	daddit	We've offered my son tons, tons of gender neutral toys, books, whatever. He runs to me like a bullet whenever he hears me using a hammer of drill. He roars like a lion. He doesn't want to wear anything but his hoodie with bats on it. He runs to the window for every police car, ambulance, and fire truck. He loves construction vehicles and cars and trucks and dinosaurs and big doggies. He also sings and dances and reads stories and cuddles his critters and asks for a kiss when he hurts himself. These are all things he just leaned towards while we threw the kitchen sink at him. Oh right, he also loves his play kitchen. Besides, who the hell decided which of those things are "boy" stuff?
4,693	daddit	It's true that we encourage and discourage different behaviors, but I believe saying that there is nothing "natural" about it, is a debatable conclusion. One of the difficulties of studying something like this, is that it's impossible to pull children out of the stimulus of society. They will get messages about how they should act or behave, etc, and it's unavoidable. So, you can't easily study how much they impact or direct the child. I think the conclusion would probably reasonably be that a little of both are at work. Boys and girls have different natural tendencies from birth, just the same as males and females in nature are born with different tendencies (even without a "Social Order" to nurture them). But it's obvious that some of (most of) these attitudes and behaviors are definitely learned, so that is unarguably a big part of what is happening as well.
4,694	daddit	That...is absurd. Using that logic, gayness is environmental.
4,695	daddit	Eh. Human researchers tossed toy cars and dolls into a chimp enclosure with young chimps. The male chimps tended to play with cars more and the females played with the dolls more. That said the word is tended to. we shouldn't stop boys playing with dolls or girls with cars.
4,696	daddit	I'm sorry you are getting downvotes, because I appreciate the respectful way that you are making your argument. It's a rare thing online, and I'll upvote you for at least that, if not anything else. Although, I DO agree with the rest of what you say as well. I don't think in the argument of "Nature vs. Nurture" both extremes are clearly wrong. It's only logical that our personalities and interests are patterned by a combination of these things. Anyway, thanks.
4,697	daddit	Ever heard of testosterone?
4,698	daddit	Dear bigfinnfinder You're using "your" for "you're". Try not to do that so much. It makes you look silly.
4,699	daddit	You are.
4,700	daddit	No. I don't assume anything. I have just changed this dude's diaper a few times and I've made some educated conclusions based on what I've seen.

4,601

daddit

Wana play a fun game, op.... See how many people posting in this thread are first time daddit posters.... Strange that... Lol

4,602

daddit

I'm going to need a "female" with huge framed glasses (no perscription on the lenses) to tell me if it's ok to like this or not. I don't want to assume anyone's gender without permission from someone with rainbow colored hair and multiple piercings.

4,603

daddit

Nothing "natural" about it. Babies are clean slates. We encourage/discourage different behaviors for different genders.

4,604

daddit

OP: I love that your lil one does this, that's awesome to see his interest and interaction with his family and the world. I just don't want to see you make the jump from "this is my experience with my two girls and a boy" to "this is how girls and boys are different". That is probably just their individual personalities, or maybe there are subtle, non-harmful ways your parenting style may have nudged them towards gender roles. I'm not in any way trying to criticize you, I just think that it's best not to fall into the trap of thinking your anecdote is somehow the natural order.

4,605

daddit

Steve jobs alive and well!

4,606

daddit

I have fixed my own pain in the ass dishwasher 3 times. I've never used clamps before. That must be what I've been doing wrong. I'd get my son or my dad to help but they're too busy pretending to be a ninja and not calling me.

4,607

daddit

All my kids (a boy and two girls) will get pissed if grandpa and me don't let them 'help'. Except my son keeps stealing my cordless screwdriver and puts holes in things with it.

4,608

daddit

Lol

4,609

daddit

I think you just got a smart son. Two out of 3 of my nieces do this shit, while my nephew couldn't be bothered.

4,610

daddit

tfw I will never be a dad

4,611

daddit

I have two daughters who are 5 and 2 and anytime I make food or put something together/fix something I get them to help. They love it and it's relaxing.

4,612

daddit

This is an opportune time for your kid to learn the difference between 110 and 220.

4,613

daddit

My 4 year old son just helped his grandfather pull up carpet and put in wood flooring.

4,614

daddit

What a nice unusual family picture.

4,615

daddit

DID YOU JUST ASSIGN ITS GENDER

4,616

daddit

Dear OP: Your influencing your kids and calling it "nature." Try not to do that so much, it's dumb and it makes you make bad decisions.

4,617

daddit

Gender is a social construct ....kek......

4,618

daddit

I thought maybe this was an honest mistake, then I saw your posts stridently defending casual sexism. I hope that your son learns to respect everyone equally, instead copying his father's barely-masked bigotry.

4,619

daddit

[deleted]

4,620

daddit

Did you just assign a GENDER! KEEP YUR HATE SPEECH UTTA DIS CAMPUS

4,621

daddit

/r/boysplaining

4,622

daddit

I know you've got a lot of shit for this post but didn't you post it because it's a picture of a boy doing what you expect a boy to do? If he's acting naturally, as you've said, why is this occurrence significant enough to be noticed, captured and then posted? It's pure trigger material.

4,623

daddit

Ahhhh reminds me of when my dad taught me to fix the dishwasher, but back in those days the only way to get your dishwasher working again was to smack her.

4,624

daddit

There is nothing natural about that behavior. Gender begins to instruct us the moment we are born, however we begin to gender children as soon as we ask that important question to the mother: boy or girl

4,625

daddit

ITT: anecdotes.

4,626

daddit

I have an 18 month old girl when she sees me working with tools she wants to work with tools also. Working with tools isn't a gendered interest, but it is certainly cool if that is your son's interest and not your daughters.

4,627

daddit

Why is grandpa using wood clamps to fix a dishwasher?

4,628

daddit

How someone acts is a combination of Nature and Nurture. People are born with a certain personality and are raised in a way which shapes that personality. The reason why he acts like how a boy "naturally behaves" is most likely because you raised him differently either subconsciously or consciously. Christ the gender hate on reddit is getting tiring

4,629

daddit

Excuse me, excuse me, are you assuming it's gender?!?!?!

4,630

daddit

Have you just assumed a gender?

4,631

daddit

Did you just assume it's gender?

4,632

daddit

N=3. My BS meter is clocking in the red.

4,633

daddit

Did you raise them like "girls" and him like a "boy"?

4,634

daddit

This is the most "reddit" thread I have every seen. The "Boy and girls are different!" jerk and the "Its nurture not nature!" jerk. Plus all the jokey "did you assume his gender" comments.

4,635

daddit

could be a result of many influences sending the message of what little boys should be like ..or could be his natural interests which aren't decided by gender regardless ..foster his interests..but comments like "oh what a boy ! " aren't necessary and instill a surface level way of thinking about things

4,636

daddit

[deleted]

4,637

daddit

Shame on you for perpetuating archaic gender stereotypes

4,638

daddit

Did you just assume his gender?

4,639

daddit

/r/thathappened

4,640

daddit

Yep, I know the feeling. When my son (5) asks "Can I help?" I know what he's really asking is "Uh, hey, what if that task you're doing took 3-5x as long to complete, would that be okay?". "Sure, kiddo."

4,641

daddit

I think it's funny that this post has nearly 100 comments and you are one of the first people to actually say something about the picture.

4,642

daddit

http://i.imgur.com/p5kO4n8.gifv

4,643

daddit

[deleted]

4,644

daddit

This is exactly right!!! Son of my own has to be helping me all the time. Just accept that the task will not be completed and the new task is a teaching moment for the child (whatever that me be)...

4,645

daddit

I always used to think I helped my dad finish our basement when I was very young (4isj). When I was 12 I found a picture of it. I had a plastic hammer. Even still, you know, thinking I helped made me want to help out more often, and eventually I did start doing real things.

4,646

daddit

just 10 years left for me! and couting

4,647

daddit

Cork? Spring for synthetic gaskets. You'll never look back.

4,648

daddit

Two girls than a boy also, at 3 he played with barbies because thats what the girls had, at 6 he has the girls playing with superheros and playing skylanders with him

4,649

daddit

I feel lucky my lil girl likes trucks and tools. Though hammers and things with wheels are cool no matter the gender.

4,650

daddit

I'm watching Skylanders on Netflix with my daughter. Great writing... I find myself chuckling often.

4,651

daddit

Did you just want 3 or did you really want to try to get a boy? I have a 2nd girl on the way

4,652

daddit

That's awesome. I can see some of that in my girls too. I definitely have a "Tomboy" in the mix, but she's also the one that is obsessed with rainbows and unicorns. I've gotten a few downvotes on my comments, so I think there are probably people out there that get ruffled up when people talk about gender roles. I'm generalizing a little in my post title. I realize that boys and girls do not always fit in the stereotypical roles. And sometimes we see what we want to see when we watch how they act. Our ears perk up when we see a girl acting motherly, or we pay more attention when a boy acts like how we think a boy should act. But there also is something very different about their behavior on a fundamental level, and it's a little harder to define because it doesn't necessarily have to do with their interests (I also have a little girl that loves helping me work on cars), but more their attitudes or thought processes. I think it's awesome that your daughter helps you deconstruct things. Exploration, and destruction are important activities for children. It's great that she has such an outlet to experience these things with her Dad in an encouraging and safe environment.

4,653

daddit

gotta get her off that meth man, they'll take anything apart when they're on one.

4,654

daddit

Yes, there are always exceptions. We know, thank you. I actually think it's far more interesting to find common traits within the sexes. I appreciate people who celebrate their children's uniqueness but, ironically, bringing up an outlier every time we think we have a commonality adds nothing to the actual post.

4,655

daddit

Technically she has been doing it for years.

4,656

daddit

Yup, my daughter [insists ](https://i.imgur.com/3lc2d94.jpg)on helping out.

4,657

daddit

I'd get the death stare if I got in my dad's way. As a result I can barely fix a clogged drain.

4,658

daddit

My son is older (11)and does nothing but video games. Even if I take the elctronics he does nothing. .even with options I give him. My daughter (8) is a total bro. Hiking, working on the car with me, planting, bug collecting, pest management (Id'd plant diseases and bugs) is always dirty. Its funny and awesome.

4,659

daddit

This paragraph would trigger a lot of people in other subreddits, great we are here On daddit, it really makes me want to have a kid

4,660

daddit

I love it. I realize that all children are different. Note that it's my father-in-law on the floor fixing *my* dishwasher. I would have been the little boy covering himself with stickers when I was little. The last thing I wanted to do when I was young was wrestle. But that's part of the puzzle, right? My son, somehow is even more "Manly" than his own father, who is his key representative from the land of Men. He has come up with this stuff that is cliche stereotypical "Boy" behavior, and he came up with it entirely in a vacuum.

4,661

daddit

Not just you, the world also. Cartoons, other kids, adults they see... Kids don't grow in isolation, and they learn from what they see. It's very difficult to work out what is environmental and what is not.

4,662

daddit

It's funny you should mention it. No, he is not, but he get's accused of being Mandy fairly regularly. It's strange for me, because I only really know Mandy from Princess Bride.

4,663

daddit

I don't think he looks like who you think he looks like.

4,664

daddit

He's psychoanalyzing the shit out of that little kid

4,665

daddit

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4,666

daddit

If the cabinets in my house had no lock I ignored them. If they were locked it was like i was put on earth for no reason but to find out what that lock was protecting and drink it

4,667

daddit

My parents would just put everything out of my reach and put plastic bags and plastic plates etc. under the sink and reachable cupboards to sate my curiosity. Every morning I would rummage through and pull everything out and happily leave the kitchen a mess. They were incredibly patient with cleaning up my messes now that I think of it.

4,668

daddit

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4,669

daddit

Don't any radical feminists have kids of their own?

4,670

daddit

Seriously. I should have seen it coming, but I was tired when I decided to post it... I regret nothing! I do not regret being proud of my son for acting like a man. No more than I am proud of him when he is gentle and kind and nurturing to those around him. And I am proud of my daughters the same.

4,671

daddit

I saw that the far-and-away highest voted comment was "WELL IN MY FAMILY ITS THE OPPOSITE!" And I knew that jimmies were rustled

4,672

daddit

Seriously. I can't believe that so many are offended by the concept that kids are shaped by their environment...

4,673

daddit

It turned out to be a problem with the drain pump. At least, we think that was the problem. Really what happened was we took the entire thing apart, couldn't find anything wrong, and put it back together again in defeat. But once we had it back together it ran fine. ... you know, maybe the kid actually fixed it.

4,674

daddit

For the record, I have two girls and I would consider both of them as being very "typical" girls, but they are night and day different from each other. And out of my three children, the youngest girl is the most hyper and aggressive (or maybe better described as *"emotional"*).

4,675

daddit

> as a formal challenge to gender roles cringe

4,676

daddit

That's awesome. I think girls should know how to use tools. My wife was never raised to understand tools, and she is so intimidated by them she can't even hang a picture on her own.

4,677

daddit

Nobody cares.

4,678

daddit

why not?

4,679

daddit

I was worried at first. Because I myself am not what I, or most people, would consider "Manly". I mean, I'm a guy. But there's a reason why my father-in-law is the one laying on the floor working on my dishwasher in this picture. So, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to properly teach my little guy how to do guy things, and really get his hands dirty. He would be raised by my crafty wife and his two older sisters, who insist on walking everywhere in pink tutus. I had nightmares of coming home and finding my son wearing one of their pink tutus. But it turned out that all of my fears were completely unfounded. Sure, he picks up some things from his sisters. He sometimes carries around dolls, which I'm perfectly okay with, because, you know, he sees his Dad carrying around babies sometimes too. But he also turns everything into a gun and he enjoys diving off the back of the couch while making explosion sounds. Then when he smacks his nose on the ground he cries a little and gets over it instead of it becoming week long drama like his sisters. He also is infatuated with Superman. His sisters saw comic book heroes, guys and girls, and they never gave them a second thought. They would rather pretend they are horses than flying superheroes. The list of differences goes on and on, right down to his pockets stuffed full of a toy motorcycle that he begged for at the store.

4,680

daddit

Man, I wish it was a can of worms! Worms are genderless! What I opened was a Pandora's Box filled with children of ambiguous gender role.

4,681

daddit

And it's fantastic. She loves you and wants to be with you, and these are the places where she gets that, and in turn it's producing a strong confident well rounded woman. You sound like an awesome dad.

4,682

daddit

All people are different from each other

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daddit

Yeah they are different, but you can't deny that a huge part of that is because of the media and friends around them. I mean, yes testosterone and estrogen do affect them, but I don't think those hormones make someone inherently more into tools/dolls. I am a feminine woman myself, and I was more into dinosaurs and marine life and the outdoors than dolls and princesses.

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daddit

[deleted]

4,685

daddit

oh chill the fuck out. just because your experience was different then op's doesnt mean you need to go off.

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daddit

> It's not the nature of little boys, it's the nature of this specific boy. It's the nature of most boys, really. Think of it like a bell curve, with hardgay on the far left, moderate manliness in the middle hump, and extreme testosterone douchebaggery on the far right.

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daddit

God. We get it, just because you're a shit father and you are purposely raising your sons to be weak and worthless men doesn't mean it's "unnatural". Fine, fuck off with your whining.

4,688

daddit

That's awesome. Thank you for sharing, even 5 years late. It was nice to see this picture pop back up again. I can tell you. Five years later, my little dude is still very interested in being like his dad. He's forever curious and tinkering. Turning everything over to see how it works and shaking bits of it onto the floor. His new things is wrestling with me. He's always in competition to see if he is stronger than I am or faster or smarter or more knowledgeable. He spent 15 minutes yesterday on a long walk talking non-stop about Minecraft, and then included a pop quiz at the end to see if I was listening. I aced it. It was the proudest test I've ever passed. I love my little guy. I love that you love your step son. You are a good dad. Good dads will save the world.

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daddit

I don't think that is an example of boys and girls being different, it is an example of your children being different. I was super into the outdoors as a little girl, and there were plenty more like me.

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daddit

Get over yourself for real, [the rule is boys once they reach a certain age will naturally prefer manly toys.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160715114739.htm) Hell even [male chimps prefer male toys.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2583786/) There's nothing wrong with characterising certain traits as boyish and certrain traits are girly. There's also nothing wrong with boys and girls having both boyish and girly traits. There's also nothing wrong with parents being proud of their boyish boy or girly girl because of their specific traits. As long as OP doesn't berate his child for doing something girly I really don't see the problem.

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daddit

I know, right? Honestly, I don't feel like a lot of them are really even "Dad" material.

4,692

daddit

We've offered my son tons, *tons* of gender neutral toys, books, whatever. He runs to me like a bullet whenever he hears me using a hammer of drill. He roars like a lion. He doesn't want to wear anything but his hoodie with bats on it. He runs to the window for every police car, ambulance, and fire truck. He loves construction vehicles and cars and trucks and dinosaurs and big doggies. He also sings and dances and reads stories and cuddles his critters and asks for a kiss when he hurts himself. These are all things he just leaned towards while we threw the kitchen sink at him. Oh right, he also loves his play kitchen. Besides, who the hell decided which of those things are "boy" stuff?

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daddit

It's true that we encourage and discourage different behaviors, but I believe saying that there is nothing "natural" about it, is a debatable conclusion. One of the difficulties of studying something like this, is that it's impossible to pull children out of the stimulus of society. They will get messages about how they should act or behave, etc, and it's unavoidable. So, you can't easily study how much they impact or direct the child. I think the conclusion would probably reasonably be that a little of both are at work. Boys and girls have different natural tendencies from birth, just the same as males and females in nature are born with different tendencies (even without a "Social Order" to nurture them). But it's obvious that some of (most of) these attitudes and behaviors are definitely learned, so that is unarguably a big part of what is happening as well.

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daddit

That...is absurd. Using that logic, gayness is environmental.

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daddit

Eh. Human researchers tossed toy cars and dolls into a chimp enclosure with young chimps. The male chimps tended to play with cars more and the females played with the dolls more. That said the word is tended to. we shouldn't stop boys playing with dolls or girls with cars.

4,696

daddit

I'm sorry you are getting downvotes, because I appreciate the respectful way that you are making your argument. It's a rare thing online, and I'll upvote you for at least that, if not anything else. Although, I DO agree with the rest of what you say as well. I don't think in the argument of "Nature vs. Nurture" both extremes are clearly wrong. It's only logical that our personalities and interests are patterned by a combination of these things. Anyway, thanks.

4,697

daddit

Ever heard of testosterone?

4,698

daddit

Dear bigfinnfinder You're using "your" for "you're". Try not to do that so much. It makes you look silly.

4,699

daddit

You are.

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daddit

No. I don't assume anything. I have just changed this dude's diaper a few times and I've made some educated conclusions based on what I've seen.