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daddit
This post has been flaired "Support". Moderation is stricter here and unsupportive and unpleasant comments will be removed and result in a ban. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/daddit) if you have any questions or conce...
7,502
daddit
Circle the wagons Dads. Whatever you need OP. DM.
7,503
daddit
There's 605,000 dads subscribed to this sub and I'd wager that every one of us would love to talk if you need to. There's not one person who reads your post who won't be thinking about you and wishing you the best. I know you're going to feel so alone, but I hope you're able to hold your sons as tight as possible.
7,504
daddit
Thanks for the support. Still trying to get someone on the phone to give me details about what happened. I just want to see my baby girl. She was my oldest, my first born. I was only 20 when she was born and we have been through hell together and individually. She has two little brothers who will be awake soon and I h...
7,505
daddit
People will have far more to give advise wise than me, but you have all my love and thoughts tonight mate.
7,506
daddit
You no more failed her than if she died from cancer. Suicide is 99.9% of the time a result of mental illness. Mental illness killed your daughter. Just like cancer kills people.
7,507
daddit
I'm so sorry, please take care of yourselves and loved ones, don't be afraid to heal. I'm so sorry for your loss
7,508
daddit
Hi, I'm not a dad but I'm the daughter who wanted to off herself, I've seen the effects it's had on my parents, and I've had people blame their suicide attempts on me when I was just trying to help. I don't know if you want advice right now, or if I'm echoing what you already know but I wanted to comment some advice so...
7,509
daddit
If you would like to tell us about her, I’d be honored to listen. _Typing this through blurry eyes_
7,510
daddit
My sincerest condolences, I hope you are able to find some peace. Sounds like you have other kids. Its probably a good idea that you guys guys seek a psychiatrist to talk things out. If any of you need medication then take it, this is what it is for.
7,511
daddit
1. It’s not your fault. You didn’t fail her. Can’t stress that enough. 2. Reach out for help: friends, therapy, etc. And since I’m the praying type, I will be praying for you and all who love your daughter.
7,512
daddit
Holy crap man, that's awful. I know that no words can change a thing, but if you need to talk to rant drop me a DM. I hope you've got family or friends close by to support you. Lean on them. It's natural to feel like this is your fault, because you're a dad, and that's what dad's do. We catch them when they fall, and i...
7,513
daddit
I'm sorry. There are a lot of things we can control and a lot more we can't.
7,514
daddit
Holy shit I am so sorry! I cant imagine what you must be going through now. Please take care of yourself and dont take on too much blame.
7,515
daddit
Hey man; I don’t have anything to say to you that really means anything, but I wanted to chime in and say I work with a guy whose daughter took her life at a similar age. He has mentioned several times over the years how helpful therapy was for him. I hope it can be helpful for you too.
7,516
daddit
There's nothing I can say that you haven't already heard OP, but read this comment from u/GSnow when you get a chance. I'm pretty sure it's saved quite a few lives over the years. https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do
7,517
daddit
First off, I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. You’re going to find your strength in focusing on raising your other two children. They need you now more than ever.
7,518
daddit
I’m so sorry bro…
7,519
daddit
You didn’t fail. I know it’s hard to believe or accept but you didn’t fail her.
7,520
daddit
We are here for you. DM if you want to talk.
7,521
daddit
I lost my daughter 4 and a half years ago to a random fucking illness just two weeks after she graduated from high school. There are no words to describe the absolute black hole of excruciating pain that opened up inside me after that, and nobody has ever said a damn thing to me that makes the depths of that black hole...
7,522
daddit
You're living our worst nightmare OP. I would not be strong enough to go through what you're going through. My friends killed themselves around the same age, and I'll never forget how it affected the parents. I'm sorry for your loss.
7,523
daddit
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take the time to grieve and find therapy for yourself and your family.
7,524
daddit
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine your grief
7,525
daddit
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please consider this: We are only shepherds for our children. We can guide them and keep them safe while they are young. One day, they can roam without our care and we can only hope that they are safe without us watching. You will grieve and should greive. You can't go through this wit...
7,526
daddit
Sorry for your loss man but you need to be stronger now than ever for your family, make sure they're okay and open to talking about things. And make sure your firearms are locked up and teach your family gun saftey and to respect firearms.
7,527
daddit
There are no answers at the bottom of a bottle. If you drink, now is the right time to get sober. This won’t go away. After my cousin of 19 wrapped his car around a telephone pole driving to work in the morning, my uncle spent the next ten years drinking his liver into cirrhosis and then death. He was 51. I loved him...
7,528
daddit
No words for that. Just know that I'd like to steal some of your pain today... Stay strong. You are not alone
7,529
daddit
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
7,530
daddit
Hey mate, all I can offer is my deepest condolences, I'm so sorry for you and your family. Stay strong for your other 2. Utterly heartbreaking.
7,531
daddit
Sorry for your loss my dude. This is a tragedy no one should ever have to live through. Get therapy for yourself (yes you) and your family ASAP and find meaning in the short term by being the rock for the rest of your family. They need you now more than ever.
7,532
daddit
That’s more than a dad should ever live through. I am so sorry my friend.
7,533
daddit
No words are adequate. You have the support of everyone here. If you need to talk, feel free to DM me any time.
7,534
daddit
Just another voice to say how sorry I am. We are a community and we are thinking of you. A loss for one is a loss for all. Still there are no words; you are still a dad to your entire family who will need you so badly in the coming days and weeks, do the best you can and try to have as much help as you can afford.
7,535
daddit
OMG, dude. I am so sorry. This is just awful. I have no real words of advice. YOu might try calling 988. Yes, that's a suicide help line but maybe their counselors have some insight in how to pass the bad news to younger siblings. OMG. I'm in tears just thinking about this.
7,536
daddit
I’ve struggled since you posted whether or not to say this. The last thing I want to do is add to your pain. But as someone who struggled with undiagnosed depression for the first thirty years of my life, I need you to know that there’s nothing you could have done. Depression is a brutal, ugly, unforgiving disease, but...
7,537
daddit
I'm thinking of you man.
7,538
daddit
I am sorry for your loss. I will keep your family in my prayers. You might want to look into therapy for your and your sons to help process this. DM me if you need to talk.
7,539
daddit
My condolences my friend. This is the worst thing that can happen to anyone in their lifetime. I am sorry you are going through it.
7,540
daddit
I’m sorry man. I can’t and don’t want to imagine.
7,541
daddit
I am sorry for your loss. I would recommend contacting a therapist or support group that focuses on parents losing their child. In all likelihood, she was struggling with some major mental health issues that she either hid or was not willing to discuss for one reason or another. You can do everything right as a parent...
7,542
daddit
Oh my dude, I'm so so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I can't offer much other than that I'm in NZ. So (assuming you're in US) if you need to talk in the middle of the night, sling me a message and I'll do my best to be there.
7,543
daddit
This stopped me in my tracks this morning. I'd give you the biggest hug in the world if I could, man. I have no advice other than the keep time in mind. Time will help. It won't heal, but it will help. Please keep that in mind as you're going through all this and trying different coping mechanisms. They may help. They ...
7,544
daddit
I’m not sure if this is what you want to hear but I’ll say it anyways. I’ve been on the other side of this, I attempted to OD on Anti-Depressants and Xanax in 2017, and thankfully (and obviously) was unsuccessful. I say that for this, you can not blame yourself for this. My parents have always been great and I couldn’...
7,545
daddit
I lost a kid… but not that way. This helped: https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ Good luck. All I can say is remember that if she were alive, she’d want you to take care of the rest of your family and yourself, and that’s the only thing you can do for her at this point. also, hate to tell you this, but in my exper...
7,546
daddit
I’m a two-time suicide attempt survivor and father of two daughters, OP. If that unique overlap of life experience will bring you any valuable insights or if it will allow you to alleviate any (of what I think is inevitable) guilt, then please consider me a resource and one of the seemingly countless pairs of ears will...
7,547
daddit
It’s 2:46am PST and this hurts my heart to hear this tragic news in real time. If you were local I’d give you a papa hug. I have eyes like a snake but hearing your pain and broken spirit has me tearing up. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. Let me know if there is anything I can do even if your in a different...
7,548
daddit
It doesn't feel like enough, but I'm thinking of you tonight. And I'm going to go kiss.my.kids right now. Anything I say feels odd but I'm sorry it happened to you and stay strong.
7,549
daddit
She is gone, but you aren't. The other guy said it, but it's worth repeating. /u/USER There is going to be lots of time where you're going to be asking questions that there aren't answers to. This is going to take time. Anger, denial, confusion, sadness. These are all normal parts of the grieving process. (Not an...
7,550
daddit
I'm sorry for your loss...
7,551
daddit
I'm so sorry. Like others have said seek therapy for yourself and your 2 boys. There may be support groups in your area that can also be of help.
7,552
daddit
Just sending a big virtual hug. Talk with people. Don't hold this in. Shared grief is grief divided.
7,553
daddit
There’s no way I can know the depths of your situation but I understand it. Our 7yo occasionally speaks of “I wish I was dead” or “I want to kill myself” and it cuts so hard. I don’t know how I would process that situation, no idea. I’m so sorry this happened OP, I know it feels that “everyone’s else’s lives just go ...
7,554
daddit
And I’m balling in my kitchen as a single father of three, including an 11 year old girl. I’m so sorry brother. Words cannot convey how truly sorry I am. Just know it’s not your fault.
7,555
daddit
Hey bud, I lost my daughter a few years ago and had to keep myself together for her twin brother and their mother. Different circumstances, but I've learned that while anyone's compassion and support is uplifting in their own ways, this is something I can only fully explore with others who've lost a child. DM me and I...
7,556
daddit
I keep coming back and reading the comments and am humbled into tears from this outpouring of support. I'm not used to this. You guys really are "circling the wagons" and I never knew I had that. To feel like I do is overwhelming. Thank you all, really. Thank you.
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[deleted]
7,558
daddit
I'm so sorry for your loss.
7,559
daddit
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. Sending you all the love.
7,560
daddit
Hugs.
7,561
daddit
I am so very very sorry that this has happened and wish you all the love in the world...
7,562
daddit
So sorry for your loss. It's a pain we can't comprehend but all fear. I hope that you and your family find a way through and make peace someday.
7,563
daddit
I am so sorry for your loss.
7,564
daddit
My god, I’m so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.
7,565
daddit
Here for ya, brother
7,566
daddit
You failed nothing. You can't control everything. This is horrifying anyway, I hope you and your family will be strong.
7,567
daddit
Be strong. I love you, man.
7,568
daddit
Sending my love
7,569
daddit
I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.
7,570
daddit
Big hugs, dude. I’m so sorry.
7,571
daddit
I'm so sorry
7,572
daddit
I'm so sorry
7,573
daddit
My thoughts are with you and your family.
7,574
daddit
When you are ready, it may be helpful to find a place like this that specializes in grieving for the whole family. https://www.elesplace.org/
7,575
daddit
Don't know of this been said, but don't hide your emotions for your other kids. You are hurt and that isn't something you should have to put away. It will break you and it will break them in the long run. Hope you find some awnsers, hope you'll find a place where things make more sense. My condolences
7,576
daddit
There are no adequate words for this, I’m so sorry. Dad to Dad, man to man, bro to bro. Whatever you need, DM. I — and we — got your back.
7,577
daddit
u/speaksoftly_bigstick I am so so sorry for your lose. Please know that the casual web for suicide is vast and there is never one single thing that ultimately drives someone to this point. I run an organization that delivers suicide treatment care at scale and requested resources from our co-founders who have a combi...
7,578
daddit
This might not be a time you want to sit and listen to a podcast, but this story might provide some insight on talking with your boys… https://open.spotify.com/episode/4ObhPZdfvyt0KKaaLPdwAW?si=tdm21gPwSYa3LIKrsHFBFQ Its about The Sharing Place where kids who have to deal with significant loss and trauma go to try an...
7,579
daddit
I’m not dad(21M), but I have attempted before when I was younger. My parents loved me more than I felt that I deserved, and even now I struggle to understand why. OP, you have to know that this was not your fault. What happened was not in your control and it is not your fault that your daughter was sick. You have to k...
7,580
daddit
I don’t have words, but I’ll share a quote from Wendell Berry that helped me once: “I began to know my story then. Like everybody's, it was going to be the story of living in the absence of the dead. What is the thread that holds it all together? Grief, I thought for a while. And grief is there sure enough, just about...
7,581
daddit
I just want to say this: It’s not your fault. You’re a good dad.
7,582
daddit
As a father of 2 beautiful little girls, I didn't even finish reading that and my eyes were full of tears. I can't even begin to imagine :( if you need to talk pls do, I'd be more then happy.... I am so sorry.
7,583
daddit
reading this was a punch in the gut. I'm so sorry, man. No parent should have to go through this. I don't have anything poignant to say except that I hope you can stay strong for your other kids. Is there a way members of this sub can send you a couple of pizzas so at least you don't have to worry about feeding your b...
7,584
daddit
I have a little girl who just turned 1.5 years last month and this post made me cry. OP, like all the other dads who have commented or reached out, please please DM me if you need to talk.
7,585
daddit
Please ask for help. With meals. With laundry. With yard work. With childcare. Everything. People will be there for you. They want to help. And then please ask for help with mental health. Find a therapist and a group. Daddit is here for you for sure but you will need more than us.
7,586
daddit
Crap, my girl is only 4 and I’m already terrified about her being without me when she goes to school. School is a much tougher place now than when I was a kid. I think I might show her the picture of your daughter and tell her no matter how bad things get or how impossible the problem seems, she is surrounded by fami...
7,587
daddit
Condolences and prayers from my wife and I.
7,588
daddit
What a beautiful girl. Now is the time to grieve. My heart is broken.
7,589
daddit
Man, I get on here to complain about my kid not sleeping. Holy shit. I'm so sorry, op. I hope you and your family can get the help and support you all need. Please, please continue to reach out if it helps. Giving you big hugs through the internet.
7,590
daddit
I know a lot of people have already reached out but as a dad of a young daughter and also having dealt with a suicide from someone close to me I may be able to provide some help. But just reach out I'd you need anything or wanna talk just like everyone else here. We are a tribe here at daddit and we all got you now. ...
7,591
daddit
I’m so sorry. You didn’t fail her. The universe did, perhaps. But you loved her and cared for her and gave up your early adulthood for her and did the hardest and most thankless job ever. Live for your children, even if you can’t live for yourself right now. I’m sorry. Love may be hard to feel right now, so have some...
7,592
daddit
We're all holding back tears (or not holding them back) reading and responding to you brother. So sorry for what you are going through. Stay strong for your boys. Much love coming your way...
7,593
daddit
I can't imagine what you're going through. I am so, so very sorry for your loss. My kids are my world, just as it sounds like she was for you. Your boys need you, and part of what they'll need now is for you to show them what grief looks like. I know it's got to be terrible, but don't try to hide your pain from you...
7,594
daddit
This is one of my biggest fears as a parent, especially after having thoughts like that when I was younger. There’s nothing anyone can say but I’m truly sorry for your loss, I hope you can eventually find peace with what has happened
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daddit
We’re here for you. May you and your family find some peace in God and the belief that you will be reunited with your baby girl in His kingdom.
7,596
daddit
I’m so sorry for you OP. I understand this may sound blunt, but you should get rid of your guns.
7,597
daddit
sorry for your loss my man. i’m a nobody from a country far away from you but do drop me a message if you need someone to talk to. much love
7,598
daddit
I'm gonna go sit in with my girl while she sleeps. I hope you find a way to be ok. Take care.
7,599
daddit
I’m very sorry for your loss.
7,600
daddit
So Sorry for your loss …