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[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | Just finished reading, here are my thoughts:
- The first sentence could have been better, didn't really do much to draw me in as it should.
- One sentence bothered me, "There's one I like - its one I always thought about when I thought about what the aboveground must be like." I usually try to avoid repeating words l... | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,800 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | Got into it immediately, good writing and great pacing. I liked it very much. If I had to have a criticism it's that the story is too familiar, one I've seen in movies several times over, there was no mystery. But don't take it too harshly, I did rehash The Garden of Eden. :) So far one of my top five! | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,801 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | I've almost nothing but praise for this entry! It's all extremely polished and professionally done. I almost always manage to find obscure typos but not one made itself known to me while reading, perhaps because I was too lost in the beautiful descriptions and realistic dialogue. Your paragraphs are perfectly sculpted ... | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,802 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | This is one of my favorites - a really wonderful read. Your voice and writing style are flawless. I loved the characters and the universe you created and I'd love to see it all expanded to a bigger scale. I want to know more about the bunkers and the wolves and the hosts and everything!
I don't have much constructive... | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,803 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | Fantastic story! My favorite so far. Here are four pieces of feedback (two positive, two negative):
* Your characterization was spot on. I knew that I was in for a good story in the second paragraph, when you immediately characterized the mother with her insistence on the word "trousseau", which also helped put the fa... | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,804 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | A very strong piece. There were points where I was afraid you were going to fall into tired cliche but you managed to keep it fresh and didn't go for the easy options. Kudos on some great work.
There were a couple points that nagged at me, but none of them seemed unreasonable. Still, since you were kind enough to crit... | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,805 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | I randomly glanced at some entries a couple of weeks back and yours was one of them. When I looked at your first few paragraphs I remember whispering to myself, "aww shit." The writing was clean, the imagery was great and I'm amazed how quickly you can establish a tone. This carried on for the whole story and this entr... | 1 | 0 | 26 | 21,806 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | Wonderful job, extremely professional and sharp. I edit papers at my university and I found a grand total of two errors in your story. That alone makes this worthy of praise, but the story itself is also masterfully crafted. I can't say it was terribly original, but it was very well done. I especially appreciated how ... | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,807 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | Hello! I really liked the world and the atmosphere. I also enjoyed the witty remarks, though I thought they sometimes didn't fit in the situation and kind of took me out of the moment.
The story was an old one, which of course doesn't have to be a bad thing. I noticed you're planning on expanding the piece, which I d... | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,808 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | This was a wonderful little piece that certainly stands up among my favorite submissions. There isn't much else to say that hasn't been said by others, but I would like to stress that your personal twists on what is a very trendy subject make this novelette very fresh and enjoyable. I would also like to thank you again... | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,809 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | The writing is very well done! The story's premise is very interesting and I am eager to learn more about the Hosts and the two protagonists' futures. I don't have any major criticisms. I enjoyed this story, and I hope you continue to create more worlds and characters in the future. | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,810 |
[PI] The Wolves of the Underground -- FEB CONTEST | I really enjoyed this story! You definitely pump personality into a lot of things - from the creative 'cure', to the hosts being fond of weapons, sex and foraging.
"Weeds had crept their way in, filling the crevices of the lonely city, changing its face from grey to green" was my favourite line. You painted the pictur... | 2 | 0 | 26 | 21,811 |
[WP] Final thoughts of an astronaut drifting away from the earth in a spacesuit with no fuel, no one to help him/her and low oxygen where the last thing he/she ever see's is the earth getting further and further away from him/her. | They always said it was beautiful from down there. But now that I'm up here, it's scary. It's scary as hell.
I can look around me in almost every direction and see the same thing: stars. They're all impossibly far away, but still bright enough that I can see them. And all around me, near me, next to me is nothing. The... | 5 | 0 | 4 | 21,812 |
[WP] Final thoughts of an astronaut drifting away from the earth in a spacesuit with no fuel, no one to help him/her and low oxygen where the last thing he/she ever see's is the earth getting further and further away from him/her. | [deleted] | 2 | 0 | 4 | 21,813 |
[WP] Final thoughts of an astronaut drifting away from the earth in a spacesuit with no fuel, no one to help him/her and low oxygen where the last thing he/she ever see's is the earth getting further and further away from him/her. | I always believed it, now I see beauty truly is in age eye of the beholder. I can't believe this is it. It IT. The end, or close. And it's beautiful. It's my passion. It's fitting.
*-wimpers-* This is the last time I'll think of love, Mary, my beautiful bride, My wonderful wife of 26 years. She always was the best co... | 2 | 0 | 4 | 21,814 |
[WP] Two people must compete for their lives in a battle of wits. The game is the poison cup contest played by Indigo Montoya and Vizzini in the Princess Bride. The players are Walter White and Frances Underwood. | It was Westley/the Dread Pirate Roberts, not Inigo Montoya, just so you know. | 3 | 0 | 5 | 21,815 |
[WP] One of your parents is teaching you how to drive a car. What happens? | [deleted] | 2 | 0 | 3 | 21,816 |
[WP] Write a story that ends with the words "I wish I didn't smell so wonderful." | It's hard not to gag as I lower myself into garbage bin. I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath as my head disappears into the pile of trash. A few seconds later, I emerge, frantically wiping chunks of what feels like fat from my eyes.
I suppress the urge to wipe the rest of my face. It's far too risky.
I lean ba... | 3 | 0 | 3 | 21,817 |
[WP] Write a story that ends with the words "I wish I didn't smell so wonderful." | This prompt is mistagged. It should have been [CW] (constrained writing) please see sidebar for details on the differences.
There is no need to resubmit, just keep this in mind for next time. | 2 | 0 | 3 | 21,818 |
[WP] A woman investigates her husband's murder...while receiving insufferable vague help from his ghost. | "Would you like a blanket Mrs. Everson?" the police officer asked in a calm and collected voice. "No, im fine thank you" she responded, holding back her tears. The police officer nodded and made his way over to the group of officers surrounding the body on the floor. Mrs. Everson sat, quietly waiting for the next offic... | 2 | 0 | 18 | 21,819 |
[WP] A woman investigates her husband's murder...while receiving insufferable vague help from his ghost. | "I was at a Taco Bell when it happened,"
his eerie voice came again,
jolting her out of a fitful sleep.
"The man came up behind me.....
I had no way of knowing he had a gun..."
She cursed loudly,
pounding her fist into the piles of notes and dossiers
scattered across his old office desk.
"Can't you shut up for more th... | 11 | 0 | 18 | 21,820 |
[WP] A woman investigates her husband's murder...while receiving insufferable vague help from his ghost. | "I think it's him" said John's ghost.
"You *think* it's him?" Rose tried to breathe slowly. It wasn't John's fault -- it seems dead people just weren't good at remembering their death. The fact that she was the most organized person in their relationship didn't help either.
"I would need a better proof than that." sh... | 2 | 0 | 18 | 21,821 |
[WP] A small child's innocent misdeed inadvertently changes a life for the better. | Rick stood at the edge of the railing, having climbed over a few short minutes ago. He had decided, that this would be the end for him. His small private equity had weathered the storm in 2008, but the financial collapse of 2014 had done him in for good. The firm is bankrupt, his house is gone, and his wife left him fo... | 5 | 0 | 12 | 21,822 |
[WP] A small child's innocent misdeed inadvertently changes a life for the better. | [deleted] | 1 | 0 | 12 | 21,823 |
[WP] A small child's innocent misdeed inadvertently changes a life for the better. | Lance would have proudly gone to school the next day and regaled the other boys at his table with the story of how he had dropped water balloon after water balloon from the James St bridge over I-95, you know, right where it leaves the city. And they would lean in to him and their ears would nearly rotate so as to coll... | 3 | 0 | 12 | 21,824 |
[WP] "Listen. I have walked this path. Don't seek to be a hero." | I may have stretched the prompt just a little bit, but I tried to keep it close.
Rook
“Listen kid, I know you’re all gung-ho about your first day and all. But it won’t get easier.” He said as he took a drag from his cigarette, casting its eerie glow upon the worn features of his face. “I've seen probably two dozen... | 4 | 0 | 4 | 21,825 |
[WP] "Listen. I have walked this path. Don't seek to be a hero." | It seemed to be a living contradiction, to come this far - across the world - and not return a hero. Besides, why would I want to? I had battled enemies foreign and near,all meeting the same end with my victory. They would not rise again to torture the people I protected.
"Why not?" I sneered at the sallow, thin, stre... | 1 | 0 | 4 | 21,826 |
[WP] A person in a coma is trapped in a dream world of their own creation. They're aware that a way out exists and as they try and find it, the people in the dream world try to make them stay (by any means you like, force, coercion, pleading etc) | I feel like there's a heavy weight on my chest. I've got a knife gripped in my left hand and a torch in my right. It flickers between flame and duracell powered as my mind wavers but eventually settles down to a solid silver barrelled thing with a rubber grip. I was walking through a forest two steps ago but now it's a... | 10 | 0 | 10 | 21,827 |
[WP] A person in a coma is trapped in a dream world of their own creation. They're aware that a way out exists and as they try and find it, the people in the dream world try to make them stay (by any means you like, force, coercion, pleading etc) | The doorway was the same. Always the same. Sandstone, faded pictographs engraved in the frame, the door a solid slab of stone. No handle, no obvious mechanism to manipulate.
*Trapped.*
No, there must be something. Think.
*There's no way out.*
"Stop that, damn it! You're a scholar, so think, by God!"
He jumped at... | 1 | 0 | 10 | 21,828 |
[WP] A person in a coma is trapped in a dream world of their own creation. They're aware that a way out exists and as they try and find it, the people in the dream world try to make them stay (by any means you like, force, coercion, pleading etc) | "I get it now!"
"Please come down! Please, just come down. We can talk it out."
"No, we can't! I'm done with this. This bullshit; the meds aren't going to keep me blind anymore. I'm going to be free." It was as if the world had become crystal clear to me: the whole of it filled with unreality. Faces I swore I'd seen ... | 1 | 0 | 10 | 21,829 |
[WP]There are twelve men in a house. Why did they collectively murder the thirteenth? | Twelve. Twelve men that used to be thirteen. Looking around at each other, they sat in silence as the calm realization hit them all one by one. None of them knew the consequences, only the situation, and even in their own minds they feared what would become of them, and their life goals. Things like this didn't hap... | 3 | 0 | 12 | 21,830 |
[WP] First contact: an alien ship has appeared in the sky over your nation. You are any one of the persons in the room determining how best to respond to this silent, ominous vessel. | "Nuke 'em!" The gruff old general said. He chewed a cigar as they sat in the plain office.
"You can't be serious! Nuke them? What would that accomplish? What if they have shields or something to protect them from nukes?" The mousey scientist retorted, in what was almost a shriek.
I scanned the room, wondering wh... | 2 | 0 | 3 | 21,831 |
[WP] You find the gold at the end of the rainbow. What is it? | As you drive down the highway, the rainbow travels by your side. You watch it's feet skipping and dancing over hills and farms.
Look out ahead! A traffic jam! Brake! @&^!
Must be an accident up ahead...
You are stationary now, in a caravan of banked up cars. The rainbow waits up for you, feet planted in a potat... | 2 | 0 | 2 | 21,832 |
[WP] A shopping cart wakes up on the bottom of the ocean, 30 miles off the coast. | *Did Someone not want their dollar back?*
Was the first thought that occurred to me. It all just happened so quickly. First it was hot and then there was a blur of motion that shook through my rails and then...
Nothing. Cold.
Well, not necessarily cold I'd call it. I once carried a sack of ice and 5 cartons of ice c... | 3 | 0 | 3 | 21,833 |
[WP] A shopping cart wakes up on the bottom of the ocean, 30 miles off the coast. | ##"Aquari"
Oh, really? A pencilnecked lawyer like you is calling *me* a vulture? How about I tell you a story, and then we see who the vulture really is?
*Aquari* was the first human city to be contained entirely within a self-sufficient floating vessel. It was a spheroid with a diameter approaching ten kilometers, a... | 2 | 0 | 3 | 21,834 |
Pockets, Ink. | [deleted] | 1 | 0 | 1 | 21,835 |
[WP] The Devil appears before Hitler on his 30th birthday, offering to grant him any wish in exchange for his soul. | April 30th, 1919.
Adolf Hitler sat alone on the cold floor of the dimly lit hallway, contemplating his place in the world. A Viennese Waltz played on the phonograph inside his apartment, the attendees of his party no doubt dancing gaily to its antiquated pulse on this, the thirtieth anniversary of his entry into this... | 1 | 0 | 2 | 21,836 |
[WP] The Devil appears before Hitler on his 30th birthday, offering to grant him any wish in exchange for his soul. | [deleted] | 1 | 0 | 2 | 21,837 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | She had flowers on her feet. A pink daisy and a blue forget-me-not. She had them on her feet so she could always look at them. They made her happy because she had beautiful things to look at every day. Every morning she would look down and smile. She would wave to neighbors on her way to work always smiling. Then it ha... | 162 | 0 | 161 | 21,838 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | The police officer glanced back and forth from his pad incredulously.
"You wanna say that one more time?" he asked me. I sighed, tapping my foot and looking from side to side. I dreaded having to repeat it. She was being taken away from the paramedics, looking at me with the stomach pump down her throat like I was the... | 46 | 0 | 161 | 21,839 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | The man's body sat slumped over in his bathtub covered in his own blood. There were multiple wounds on his body, some more apparent than others. "Looks like someone got pissed. They get in contact with the wife?" Said one detective as he was thumbing through a contact book he found in the bedroom. "She's on her way hom... | 62 | 0 | 161 | 21,840 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | Ade's gang visited this bar every day at ten. *Every* day, since *that* day. The day when the Ink Men rose. Dele remembered that day well; it was a particularly rough day, even by Lagos' standards. The Western scientists struggled to find reasons as to how it happened. Dele knew *how*: this must be a gift from God. He ... | 24 | 0 | 161 | 21,841 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | I wanted to be unique. I wanted to stick out in the crowd. It started with a little heart on my foot, just something small that my parent's wouldn't know about. Then it escalated from there. Several more small ones, a little kiss mark on hip and a pair of wings on my shoulder. When I was seventeen, I thought I was the ... | 14 | 0 | 161 | 21,842 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | ((Uh... sorry if this is in poor taste.))
Every day, except of course for Thursdays and Sundays, I had driven this route. Right at the stop sign. Third street on the left. 11 o' clock. That gave Frank and I enough time to stop at 7-Eleven for a cup of coffee, drink it on the way, and still have enough left over to... | 12 | 0 | 161 | 21,843 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | The power, of course, came from the art. And the nature of the power seeped into the mind somehow, and warped people. Some powers (and natures) were bizarre, absolutely unique. We started naming the more common ones, since their natures were all of a kind - the powerless, those who crouched and hid in this new world, w... | 12 | 0 | 161 | 21,844 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | While there were always things that just seemed off in life, there was one thing that just seemed right. He never know where the fascination sprang from; it just always seemed to have meaning. Every where he turned that number reared itself time after time. Born the 12th of the month. December always felt right. 12 wee... | 10 | 0 | 161 | 21,845 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | "Dad?"
Daniel Lavoie was indeed a dad, among other things. His oldest daughter used to call him Papa, but that had become terminally uncool when she was in middle school so now she had two parents with the same title. Though Dan was more often addressed in the tone Liddy was using now. Confusion, disbelief, maybe a li... | 6 | 0 | 161 | 21,846 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | I had done it myself a few years ago. A pen knife, some coal dust, roughly hewn into my knuckles.
LOVE. HATE.
Who knows what the fuck it was supposed to mean; I just thought it seemed badass at the time. It wasn’t the best decision of my life, but god knows it wasn’t the worst.
The marks had long since healed, ... | 19 | 0 | 161 | 21,847 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | My first time posting here. This was fun. Any feedback appreciated!
--
“This is a robbery! Everybody on the ground!” the masked man yelled as bank customers screamed and dropped to the ground.
“Give me all your money!” the robber shouted and threw a burlap sack at the portly bank manager.
“OK, OK,” the manager stam... | 5 | 0 | 161 | 21,848 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | [deleted] | 2 | 0 | 161 | 21,849 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | Roger had been emanating laughter since the T-Day when the tatoos had come to life. He didn't have any permanent tattoos like the others but that day he had written on his arms out of boredom in study hall. His left arm was a skeletal hand with talons that went to the elbow where it oddly terminated and broadened bac... | 5 | 0 | 161 | 21,850 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | -059
"Television back in the twenty-first century would have you believe that when a human is awoken from a stasis pod, the recover in a day or two. When Blue Corp pulled me and my two pod mates from the stasis chamber, we didn't regain consciousness for almost five days. The two weeks after the Church of Echoes snatc... | 8 | 0 | 161 | 21,851 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | I contemplated what had happened over the course of the day. I grew wings, scaly armor replaced my skin, and I could breathe fire. It was a painful process, but it was over soon enough. I found out my neighbor had developed a keen sense of smell and became color blind. Despite what had happened to me, it didn't really ... | 3 | 0 | 161 | 21,852 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | She branded her love for him on her chest in the form of a lock and key with wings; however, the ink would last longer than their marriage. The day their love ended her heart lurched from her chest in a ball of firey embers landing on the floor slowly dying to dust. The wind swept away the ashy remains of her heart, bu... | 1 | 0 | 161 | 21,853 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | I watched them all die.
I watched people gain superpowers from their tattoos overnight, and they just blew up or burned everything down. The woman with the tattoo of a biohazard symbol ended up infecting herself and every other living thing. The world ground to a halt.
Munching on some Twinkies at the top of the Stat... | 11 | 0 | 161 | 21,854 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | I was 19 when I first got the outline of my new tattoo. It took a year to carefully and beautifully design and ink the flesh going from my hand down my back. The delicate feathers were accented with a gold-plated broken chain. The artist who took the year to complete my arm poured his heart and soul into it. It was so ... | 3 | 0 | 161 | 21,855 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | I love this prompt, once I think of something to write and have more time, I'll come back to it. | 2 | 0 | 161 | 21,856 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | EDIT: DANG IT RES. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAVE FOR LATER. NOT SUBMIT. my bad. *cries in corner*
WAU WAU WAU WAU WAU.
"Dang it!" I thought to myself, waking up to the ever-so-early morning alarm ringing. "Shouldn't have stayed up so late!" I rolled out of bed. It was monday. "Why did I spend the whole night out... | 1 | 0 | 161 | 21,857 |
[WP] Tattoos suddenly give people superpowers | Suddenly a rush of knowledge stunned Rich awake. He sat up in bed, the time was 4:22, eight minutes before his alarm would go off. Although there was nobody in his room, for he lived alone, he yelled "I know what it all means!" he looked at the various runes tattooed along his arms and quickly threw on his clothes. He ... | 2 | 0 | 161 | 21,858 |
[WP] The ongoing experiments at CERN confirm that our universe is a simulation, a wild frenzy of nihilism and cynicism grips the entire world. | "A simulation of what?"
It was the inevitable follow-up question, and there wasn't an answer. Not a meaningful one. Nothing could possibly come out of Schilling's mouth to substantiate it. The difficulties that came with explaining the Higgs field to the lay were child's play in comparison. He never thought he'd... | 19 | 0 | 36 | 21,859 |
[WP] The ongoing experiments at CERN confirm that our universe is a simulation, a wild frenzy of nihilism and cynicism grips the entire world. | I walked up to the counter at Starbucks...I guess.
"I'll have...who cares?" I shrugged. The barista was smoking a cigarette and watching a soap opera on her phone. It was really laggy. No one at Comcast cared enough before the CERN discovery, I'm sure the enthusiasm was just boiling now.
"Huh?" she asked me, ashing h... | 5 | 0 | 36 | 21,860 |
[WP] The ongoing experiments at CERN confirm that our universe is a simulation, a wild frenzy of nihilism and cynicism grips the entire world. | [deleted] | 3 | 0 | 36 | 21,861 |
[WP] The ongoing experiments at CERN confirm that our universe is a simulation, a wild frenzy of nihilism and cynicism grips the entire world. | In the year 2070, a famous scientist, Dr.Lovelace makes sense of that bungled mess that calls itself string theory. She ties it all together neatly with a clever little equation.
In the year 2071, scientists, engineers, and even video-game-studios put the Lovelace equation to the test. They design simulations that per... | 12 | 0 | 36 | 21,862 |
[WP] The ongoing experiments at CERN confirm that our universe is a simulation, a wild frenzy of nihilism and cynicism grips the entire world. |
Detective Jack McKenna glanced over a field, his hand briefly washing over his grizzled chin. Across the former prarie, there lie hundreds of mounts covered in blue tarpaulin. Across the tree line, a gigantic white banner reads 'LIFE IS MEANINGLESS', and scattered about here and there are the litter of a massive gathe... | 7 | 0 | 36 | 21,863 |
[WP] The ongoing experiments at CERN confirm that our universe is a simulation, a wild frenzy of nihilism and cynicism grips the entire world. | Fear and chaos. That’s all the world is about now. But, but I’m much better than that. All people can think about is how they aren’t real and how their lives are meaningless. Hah, their lives were meaningless even if they had not been simulations. People always told me that I was nothing. What these people didn’t reali... | 3 | 0 | 36 | 21,864 |
[WP] The ongoing experiments at CERN confirm that our universe is a simulation, a wild frenzy of nihilism and cynicism grips the entire world. | The Simulated Ones. A new prophet has arrived. Come to our meeting on 5th and L to find out what meaning our life really has. Find out the TRUTH once and for all. Don’t read this flyer and think “Oh, just another religion that has popped up.” This isn’t a religion. This is truth. Religions such as Christianity has alw... | 2 | 0 | 36 | 21,865 |
[WP] The ongoing experiments at CERN confirm that our universe is a simulation, a wild frenzy of nihilism and cynicism grips the entire world. | Dr. Elijah Schneider toyed with the gun's barrel, ever bringing it closer to his temple and then letting go again. And in all this turmoil the events of the day played before his eyes again and again.
He and his colleagues had always been aware of the possibility. Just an abstract case in the finely crafted Quantum E... | 2 | 0 | 36 | 21,866 |
[WP] The ongoing experiments at CERN confirm that our universe is a simulation, a wild frenzy of nihilism and cynicism grips the entire world. | This story is dedicated to scientific journalism everywhere.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Trust the media to mess everything up again. Trust the media to take a perfectly reasonable and logical scientific theory, *completely misinterpret it* and turn it into their latest "break... | 5 | 0 | 36 | 21,867 |
[WP] What goes through the mind of a child, under his desk, as the bombs fall. | Fear doesn't describe it. It isn't sheer terror that rocks Toshi's bones. The school has these drills in place and still no one is prepared. It goes beyond that. He pulls himself out of fetal position and quickly grabs the paper that still rests so innocently on his desk. There's a star drawn on it. He got every questi... | 19 | 0 | 33 | 21,868 |
[WP] What goes through the mind of a child, under his desk, as the bombs fall. | "Where'd the teacher go?"
Was the one question that went around the room. Huddled underneath wooden desks, some children still playing with their action figures they'd covertly snuck into the classroom while others just took an impromptu nap.
"Maybe her desk isn't big enough?" I thought. At first I thought she would... | 7 | 0 | 33 | 21,869 |
[WP] What goes through the mind of a child, under his desk, as the bombs fall. | First came the noise. Despite being something that he had heard many times before during testing, it sounded like something from another world. It started unexpectedly. It began like a train. A low hiss in the distance. Growing quickly as the seconds passed and the sound waves contacted with the ears. As it grew, the u... | 3 | 0 | 33 | 21,870 |
[WP] What goes through the mind of a child, under his desk, as the bombs fall. | The day was pure bedlam. It was the last day of classes, and a lot of Rod's friends didn't come to class today. As he walked into his fourth grade classroom the empty desks reminded Rod of the empty seat at dinner where his mother should have been.
Things had been hard since she died, dad had told him it would be, bu... | 17 | 0 | 33 | 21,871 |
[WP] What goes through the mind of a child, under his desk, as the bombs fall. | Bella closed her eyes and an expansive drum kit sat before her. She took a deep breath and then rocked out: her hands slapping nearby surfaces as the crowd cheered for her. Her drum solo was met with thunderous applause. But suddenly, BOOM, went the bass drum. Then, a monstrous crash from the cymbals. That was wrong, ... | 5 | 0 | 33 | 21,872 |
[WP] What goes through the mind of a child, under his desk, as the bombs fall. | I want my mommy. Miss Applebaum is crying and everyone is under their desks like we practiced. The alarm is blaring through the room and echoing off the linoleum, hurting my ears. I know there are bombs coming. I'm scared. I don't want to be here in my classroom, I want to be home with my mommy and daddy reading The Ph... | 8 | 0 | 33 | 21,873 |
[WP] What goes through the mind of a child, under his desk, as the bombs fall. | My desk has always been bigger than all the others in the class. I picked it because I wanted it. It proudly stood like a mountain, or a castle maybe. I remember the first day of school, I spread all my papers around in a way that seemed organized, but it just looked fancier and busier because there was more room. I de... | 5 | 0 | 33 | 21,874 |
[WP] What goes through the mind of a child, under his desk, as the bombs fall. | The familiar music crackles through the loudspeakers as Kenji and his classmates gather in the exercise yard. It always starts with a slow drum beat. Tum....tum....tum.... The children are well acquainted with the Radio Calisthenics. Half an hour each morning. Jumps, Squats and Runs. The soundtrack never changes. The b... | 3 | 0 | 33 | 21,875 |
[WP] Write a story where a pianist plays a piano without white keys. | "I play with all the colors of the spectrum." Eli responded to the interviewer. "It's not just about the somber blue tones of minor or the red fury of quick chromatic scale ascent. In order to play the keys, you have to know the palette."
"So Eli, when did you first start to implement you synaesthetic keyboard?"
"Heh... | 3 | 0 | 9 | 21,876 |
[WP] Write a story where a pianist plays a piano without white keys. | "Are you sure if I play Moonlight Sonata the curse will be broken?" Timothy said, attempting to avoid eye contact with the ghastly witch.
"You want your pathetic little life back, don't you?" She smiled, not because she was trying to but because her lips just could never seem to cover all those jagged teeth.
"I mean,... | 3 | 0 | 9 | 21,877 |
[WP] Write a story where a pianist plays a piano without white keys. | [deleted] | 1 | 0 | 9 | 21,878 |
[CC] Reply to prompt, "An old man sits in his chair, playing his violin effortlessly. An assassin site across the room, listening. The old man sits his instrument back in its case and asks why he has come. The assassins stands....." | First off, great twisting of the prompt so that the old man is the mastermind. Me likey.
When reading over your post, it seems to me that besides the occasional lack of commas, the things that make me stumble are scenarios in the story itself, not the writing.
--
Examples:
Scenario 1:
> As he spoke he pulled t... | 3 | 0 | 5 | 21,879 |
[EU] A gender-flipped Harry Potter fanfic, please. | This is not /storyrequests. These are prompts, not requests for stories. | 1 | 0 | 3 | 21,880 |
[IP] Talking to Strangers | **NOT UNDERSTAND.**
The tears in the corner of her eyes shook free as the words rattled through her mind.
"Mom and Dad say I can't play anymore. I'm sorry... it's all my fault. I- I- the book says I wasn't supposed to cross the seal and I-" As the tears trickled, her tongue was filling her mouth and her eyes stung- b... | 20 | 0 | 16 | 21,881 |
[IP] Talking to Strangers | "Hello."
The whispered words floated across the short distance between them, quavering as if afraid. If it had noticed them, Megan couldn't see it. Not in its flaming eyes, or eye holes, or face chimneys. Megan couldn't really think of a good word for it, which felt rude, but she'd never encountered a real monster ... | 4 | 0 | 16 | 21,882 |
[IP] Talking to Strangers | HOLY CRAP I GOT FEATURED! Thanks for the responses too guys! | 4 | 0 | 16 | 21,883 |
[IP] Talking to Strangers | Tuesday. Tuesdays meant pizza for lunch at school. History quiz. Soccer in PE. Other than that, it was the same as any other day. She couldn't wait to get out of that wretched school. The neutrality of her bedroom was far superior to being subject to the torment of the others. The cover of her blanket, the solace in si... | 5 | 0 | 16 | 21,884 |
[IP] Talking to Strangers | "I don't wanna leave ya bro."
"But you're the only friend i've met in a long time!"
"I kno bro, but i gotta go. My vacation's over, I gotta go to work tomorrow."
It had been a while since the two met each other. Jason had met his friend one day just waltzing through the mountain as a hiker- he loved to hike. He'd go... | 1 | 0 | 16 | 21,885 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | [note: first attempt at prose. language will be juvenile, grammar will be off, buildup and reveal will be juvenile. please forgive]
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A quaint aura surrounded the village of Munirka. The British had started mellowing. The revolts in Shahdara were successful, and the effect was visible to anyone with the social aw... | 9 | 0 | 93 | 21,886 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | [deleted] | 1 | 0 | 93 | 21,887 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | They said it was the war to end all wars.
His name was Oliver and he was just seventeen,
As tall as his father but not quite as lean.
His mum gave him a handkerchief that he promised to keep clean.
And so he went off to war, ever so keen.
Private Holt sat in the trenches of the fields of France,
Waiting in... | 189 | 0 | 93 | 21,888 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | I'm standing with Lisa, looking over the field of wildflowers and her blonde hair glows from the setting sun. Her hand is warm and her smile is the first thing in the world that has ever made me feel whole. I wonder vaguely how long her hair will be that golden. I know, even now at five years old, that I'll marry her a... | 10 | 0 | 93 | 21,889 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | I was told it wouldn't have to be like this... I was told that they would give me more of a chance to live. I didn't want to kill the old woman, but all that gold in her purse told me otherwise. It was just staring at me, almost screaming at me to grab the damn bag and run... And that's what I did. But she fought back,... | 1 | 0 | 93 | 21,890 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | 1914
Ugh. Well that it was all a waste of time. Somehow I knew in the back of my mind that it wouldn't work. 2114 was way to early to get everything right. I told them to just let me go back to sleep and wait another one hundred years. But I was the first on the list. I was greedy. And now I have to suffer in a world ... | 14 | 0 | 93 | 21,891 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | [deleted] | 1 | 0 | 93 | 21,892 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | 'I don't want this house.' Jack wrote that on the last board placed on his new home. With a hammer in his hand, he put up the last board himself. It was a small plank, a piece of siding around the back of the home. He wiped away his sweat, using the bottom of his shirt. Jack didn't want this house. He wanted to stay aw... | 7 | 0 | 93 | 21,893 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | The Landry Times Thursday 2 July 1914: ROLL OF HONOUR. 214th CASUALTY LIST. The 214th casualty list was released by the Censor last night, and is published hereunder. WOUNDED; (includes) Clark, Jack Michael, gas.
(Reuters) Thursday 27th February, 2014: Istanbul - Turkish police fired tear gas at anti governmen... | 3 | 0 | 93 | 21,894 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | The crack of gunpowder and the heavy weight of a body slamming into soft earth echoed in the otherwise empty, silent plain. Grass swayed to the rhythm of a passing wind, promising the man a cold death. The mud splattered his face and clothes, his fingers and feet sunk into it with the power of his fall, then held his s... | 3 | 0 | 93 | 21,895 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | Although I look the street up and down, I find naught to my interest. The Army Offices, the general stores, and small trinket shops. All the people look rather neutral, but this is perhaps from a collective stress. It's 1914, after all. "Austria on the Warpath", the headlines shout, orating at us through wind and sleet... | 2 | 0 | 93 | 21,896 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | Not here to write, but just wanted to recommend Cloud Atlas, the book or movie. Very similar concept to your prompt, add very good story. | 2 | 0 | 93 | 21,897 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | Joe and Sam discovered the cave when they went swimming in the rock quarry. Joe went down too deep and came up on the wrong side, in darkness. His terror became delight, and before long he and Sam were wrapping candles in wax paper and bringing them through the submerged tunnel. At first, their mother wondered where th... | 1 | 0 | 93 | 21,898 |
[FF] Three paragraph story: Fist paragraph must be set in 1914, second in 2014, third in 2114. All paragraphs must be connected in some way. | Shit. Everything a smells like shit. Where am I? A gunshot cracks, the world fades in. Not a gunshot, a car, bumping past me on a road of big rocks and dirt. Cobblestones. The car isn't anything I've ever seen in real life: no roof, wheels that should probably be on a bicycle, only a windshield, no side windows. Old, l... | 2 | 0 | 93 | 21,899 |
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