Split (1)

train · 353k rows

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	[WP]You finally calm down and look around you. No, your hands are not covered in blood, in fact everyone around you is clapping and congratulating you. You suddenly realize you have made the worst decision in your life.	It was unstable, but nothing too fancy either. Brass and copper tubing, high pressure steam powering it, gyros and gears all intertwined in a collective web of machinery. But it worked. Years was easy, months was harder, days was essentially impossible. The chance of instantaneously ripping through space and time, collapsing it into a single timeline would destroy… well... everything really. Reality itself would disintegrate itself under the strain of the bending. Regardless of all this, I had made it, well, almost. I might have been a few weeks off, but it was better than not arriving at all. My contraption had brought me to the backroom, a damp lit place filled to the brim with cleaning supplies and utility tools. My goal had been right where he should have. I never saw myself much of a philosopher, Loops, Grandfather Paradoxes, Multiverses, Butterfly effects or such nonsense all seemed so distant. The fact is, I had never thought of the consequences of my actions. What would actually happen if I went through with it? Would it even change my timeline? His body laid on the floor, the stab wound still fresh and oozing red, and not a single drop on me. His loud questionings of my presence and the withering of his voice as he sank to the floor was muffled by the commotion outside. Where they cheering? Had I been too late? Had he already gone through with the tainting of the world as we, as I, knew it? No, the contraption had worked, the year was right, but what about the month? My body moved before my mind even finished the thought, through the door, sharp left through the hallway, my pulse and breath raced faster for every step. The balcony was in front of me, the images in my mind collided with each other, the years of planning, the decades of preparation. Had it all been for nothing? Had I been too late after all? I swept the sweat off my brow through my hair to the left, as I closed the gap between my horrid thoughts and the balcony door, they suddenly and systematically swung open. The crowd below bellowed in cheerful unison. Around me on the wide balcony men in charcoal colored uniforms saluted with one hand raised high in the air. I stumbled forward, resting my hands on the balcony marble railing, gasping for air. A man with a booming voice placed his hand on my shoulder, my knees felt shattered, my mind trying to sort itself into a logical path, but there was none. “Its all taken care of Mein Furher" The man with the booming voice whispered to me, “The speeches you had recorded, they’re all ready. Today it begins.” My gut wrenched, faintness and torment poured over me like a wall of water. I roared outwards, in agony. The man with the booming voice hastefully nodded down to a nearby man with his eyes fixed on us. In his hands he held a mechanical switch, instantly turning it as the man with the booming voice nodded. And as my lips moved, screaming for them to stop, the sound from the speakers erupted. “Sieg heil!” And the crowd repeated it. The knife had left not a speck of blood on my body. But soon, my hands would be covered with it.	"I would never do this!" Well, my mother was congratulating me too. My memory is quite bad, so I'll try my best to recollect things. Starting from the bottom, as my fellow Drake says. I can't exactly remember who I am, but my wife always reminds me. Anyways, it was another day at work, when I passed the White House. I live near it, so that's a plus. There was a large crowd of people, yelling. I don't think any of them could have seen me. It must have been about the presidential election, I forgot who was running for it. The point is that one of the elects were getting out of a limo. I remember when I had a limo. Anyways, everyone crowded around him, screaming. The security guards held them back though. I don't know what happened, but that's where I'm here right now. Wait, now that I look at the corpse more, the hair, the neck-fat. Oh ****, that was Donald Trump! Everyone looked around me clapping, even my wife. "He deserved it, great job Obama!" (My first WP)
	[WP]You finally calm down and look around you. No, your hands are not covered in blood, in fact everyone around you is clapping and congratulating you. You suddenly realize you have made the worst decision in your life.	It was unstable, but nothing too fancy either. Brass and copper tubing, high pressure steam powering it, gyros and gears all intertwined in a collective web of machinery. But it worked. Years was easy, months was harder, days was essentially impossible. The chance of instantaneously ripping through space and time, collapsing it into a single timeline would destroy… well... everything really. Reality itself would disintegrate itself under the strain of the bending. Regardless of all this, I had made it, well, almost. I might have been a few weeks off, but it was better than not arriving at all. My contraption had brought me to the backroom, a damp lit place filled to the brim with cleaning supplies and utility tools. My goal had been right where he should have. I never saw myself much of a philosopher, Loops, Grandfather Paradoxes, Multiverses, Butterfly effects or such nonsense all seemed so distant. The fact is, I had never thought of the consequences of my actions. What would actually happen if I went through with it? Would it even change my timeline? His body laid on the floor, the stab wound still fresh and oozing red, and not a single drop on me. His loud questionings of my presence and the withering of his voice as he sank to the floor was muffled by the commotion outside. Where they cheering? Had I been too late? Had he already gone through with the tainting of the world as we, as I, knew it? No, the contraption had worked, the year was right, but what about the month? My body moved before my mind even finished the thought, through the door, sharp left through the hallway, my pulse and breath raced faster for every step. The balcony was in front of me, the images in my mind collided with each other, the years of planning, the decades of preparation. Had it all been for nothing? Had I been too late after all? I swept the sweat off my brow through my hair to the left, as I closed the gap between my horrid thoughts and the balcony door, they suddenly and systematically swung open. The crowd below bellowed in cheerful unison. Around me on the wide balcony men in charcoal colored uniforms saluted with one hand raised high in the air. I stumbled forward, resting my hands on the balcony marble railing, gasping for air. A man with a booming voice placed his hand on my shoulder, my knees felt shattered, my mind trying to sort itself into a logical path, but there was none. “Its all taken care of Mein Furher" The man with the booming voice whispered to me, “The speeches you had recorded, they’re all ready. Today it begins.” My gut wrenched, faintness and torment poured over me like a wall of water. I roared outwards, in agony. The man with the booming voice hastefully nodded down to a nearby man with his eyes fixed on us. In his hands he held a mechanical switch, instantly turning it as the man with the booming voice nodded. And as my lips moved, screaming for them to stop, the sound from the speakers erupted. “Sieg heil!” And the crowd repeated it. The knife had left not a speck of blood on my body. But soon, my hands would be covered with it.	An isolating haze Clouded my thoughts. A feral craze Made my legs hop. The mist cleared From my brain. And as I feared, I'm still very lame. The music stopped pumping, The limelight was on me. The people stopped jumping, And turned around to see. The humid room chilled And filled with silence. I was still on tilt, But halted my dance. People stared, entranced, And began to giggle. I knew that during my dance My buckle began to jiggle. I looked down timidly, Then applause came gung ho. People cheered so fervently, Discovering I went commando.
	[WP] Every human has a personal, invisible guardian, summoned by magic words long forgotten. You have just accidentally said the words.	As much as I hate to admit it, yes, I sing in the shower. I don't know why, but the hot water and soapy aromas get me in the zone to SIIIIING. Don't judge me. Today was just like any other day. I took a shower, as was customary after a long workout, and pulled out my new floral chocolate with pomegranate essence shampoo (it was a gift). Spreading the shampoo on my short hair (really, it was a gift), I felt the urge to sing. I started with a Rammstein song. I forget which one it was, but it was very heavy on the German throat singing. At one point, just before the solo, the floral chocolate with pomegranate essence shampoo (seriously, it was a gift. I'm a dude, I don't buy that stuff) soaked into my eyes. In a sudden flash of chocolate flower death burning in my eyes, I screamed out the next verse of the song. Next thing I knew, I was hearing voices. The voice told me to stay calm and hold still. Strangely, my eyes stopped burning, allowing me to open my eyes. I could see a ball of light in front me. "I am your personal guardian, J'zar. You have summoned me with the distress call of Tamriel. If you are ever in need of help, do not hesitate summon me. Simply shout the distress call for help." I... uhh... wha? "What's the distress call, again?" "Did... did you not just shout it out? Haven't your elders taught you the old words?" "Not really, no." "What earth year is it?" "2016 AD, why?" "Oh... oh, my. The Nordic language doesn't exist anymore, does it?" "No." "I see. Then, I have created new words for the summoning. If you are ever in distress and need help, simply say..." [China Ferrari sex orgy death crash] (http://m.imgur.com/k5XD5Lz) ***** If you enjoyed this story, check out /r/Picklestasteg00d for more.	Falling over, I knock my lamp off the nightstand beside my bed. I grunt trying to further pull up my jeans. Standing back up, I jump until they slide over my hips and I button them in satisfaction. I look in the mirror proud of my accomplishment. My black hair trails down my back and I comb my fingers through it, trying to tame the mess it always is. Still breathing heavy, I turn to walk across my room and trip back over the night stand. I moan rolling on my side. I lay on the floor peering underneath my bed, contemplating the purpose of my inconvenient life. I find my old journal and I stretch to grab the fraying ribbon from the journal. Retrieving the long forgotten secrets of my mind, I sit up and begin flipping through the pages. I smile at the trivial things past me has written about, passing over memories of my family. I sigh and throw my old journal on my bed. It lands pages open so the page marked by the ribbon is displayed. Taking a second glance, I decide to read one more entry. At the end next to my juvenile signature are words I’ve never seen before. I mutter them again and again, trying to figure out their awkward pronunciation. My closet doors bang open and I scream, throwing my journal at the bursting doors, pelting the man now standing there. “Ouch!” he flamboyantly yells, waving his hands to further deflect any more flying objects. I stare at him wide-eyed while frozen on my bed. He shakes his head, his crisp blue hair staying perfect, and adjusts his button down. After taking a few overly dramatic breaths, he turns his gaze to me allowing his gray eyes to take me in. “Okay, we need to fix this,” he gestures not only to me but my chaotic room. He strolls over to my nightstand, picking it up, and setting it back to its rightful position. Waving his hands, objects begin flying around my room to their organized places. I don’t think I’ve blinked or breathed since he’s walked out of my closet. He walks over and gives me a nice pat on the back, throwing me into a coughing fit. “Girl, I wrote those words in your journal five-ever ago hoping you would find them.” He waves a finger at me. “You’re a mess, you know,” he begins lecturing me. Blinking, I point to the closet and then point at him, moving my finger back and forth. “Oh, right. Let me explain,” he plops down next to me on the bed, sprawling out across my bedspread. “So I’m your magical guardian, guardian angel, last hope, worst nightmare, really whatever you want me to be,” he flips his hand back and forth. “Girl, you’re a mess,” he says to me again. I look down at my hands and place them on my face, taking deep breaths trying to understand what the hell is happening. “So, what, I get three wishes and you go?” I say to him with my hands over my eyes, shaking my head. I feel a hand on my knee and peek at him through my fingers. He’s smiling at me, showing beautiful white teeth. “Oh, honey, no,” he deeply laughs. I feel a ball form in my throat, and tip to my side, groaning into my sheets. It seems that I have spent more time on my side this morning than I have standing. “What was your job placement at school?” he asks me. My face flushes and anger surprisingly hits me in the chest. At eighteen we are given job placements, directing us on how we are to benefit our society. Some kids are chosen to further their education, some are chosen for war, others are tradesmen/women, and so on. There are a few select, like myself who are given a pending application. This means two things, either you become an outcast, deemed unworthy of society’s standards or your job is to enter parliament to work for the royal family. I’d rather become an outcast than work with the royal family. I hear him laugh and swing my arm out to hit him. I make contact with his chest and hear a dull thump. He grabs my wrist, yanking me to sit up and stare him in the eyes and he holds me here. He stands up, dragging me with him through my one bedroom apartment. Stumbling over things, he becomes annoyed, waving his hands and having objects fly around the tiny space until it is clean. “Rules,” he beings lecturing again. I roll my eyes, I’m already done with him. “One, ditch the attitude.” My face flushes, and he pushes me into the bathroom and turns on the shower and points. “strip while I talk, don’t make me ask again,” he continues while rummaging through my belongings. I gasp and cross my arms. He stops moving and turns to me while rolling his eyes. “Honey, I’m as flaming as they come. Get over yourself, lets go,” he claps. I turn my back to him and take off my jeans I struggled to put on what seems like years ago. I gaze at my watch and realize it’s only been 15 minutes, and I kiss making it on time to class, goodbye. “Two,” he continues, “I now dictate your wardrobe, your hair, and class schedule as you finish primary school.” I about fall over in the shower and grab the soap holder trying not to slip. I wear torn jeans and plain long sleeve shirts to school every day, my messy hair always dutifully tied in a curly mess behind me. I rip open the shower curtain, exposing only my head. “Absolute-“ he holds up a finger. “Do NOT make me repeat rule number one,” he demands. “You do as I say, you’re a wreck and you know it.” I throw the curtain close and finish showering. “Three,” he yells from outside the bathroom, “you can call me Charles. I will always be around but only you can see me, hear me, talk to me, whatever,” he keeps yelling. I turn off the shower and climb out. A fresh outfit is hanging on the door, solid black jeans with a copper sweater. I put the jeans on with ease, surprised on how they flatter me better than any pair I’ve put on before. I pull the sweater on over my head and use the sleeve to rub the condensation off the mirror. The neckline shows off my collar bones and I trace them with my fingers, never noticing their prominent features. “Your application is pending,” he says while standing in the doorway, holding a steaming sandwich. He walks behind me, braiding my hair with ease and handing me the sandwich. I look down at it but have no desire to eat it. “I’m not working for the Royal family,” I spit. I refuse to dedicate my life to a family that holds no respect for the struggling members of its society, or the outcasts they deem unworthy of regular life. Charles places me on the closed toilet and begins covering the few blemishes on my face. Cupping my chin, he pulls my face up to look at him and tilts his head. “You’d rather be an outcast?” he asks me. I pull my face out of his grasp and let him finish doing his thing. I sit in silence for a while before answering him. “I’m smart, and I know my way around their terrain,” I begin. Growing up, I would sneak off at night and walk through the rundown parts of the city and began learning the world of outcasts. School was never my strong suit, and I am too small of a build to benefit the war. I knew I would receive a pending application, being the only girl of a family full of decorated male war heroes. I couldn’t compete with my older brothers, and I didn’t have a voice like my mother’s that would place me in an entertainment job. When my parents realized I wouldn’t join the war effort and didn’t have proper lady skills, they removed me from the family and gave me enough money to live on my own until my application came through. “I can change their lives, they’re people too,” I tell him. I throw the now cold sandwich in the trash next to me, disgusted. “I know you’re going to change their lives,” he said to me. He hands me a mirror, walking back into my bedroom and begins rummaging around. I look at my reflection, never seeing myself like this. Charles highlighted my prominent features and framed my green eyes. “Faye, let me ask you something, what do you know of the Prince?” I drop the mirror, watching it shatter into a million pieces on the bathroom tile. My gulp for air and lean against the wall, my vision going blurry. Charles waves the glass away and pulls me up. He turns me towards the mirror, clasping a simple silver choker around my neck, and pulls tiny stray hairs out of my braid. “Faye, we have a job to do, because your application is no longer pending.” He places his hands on my shoulders, standing behind me a whole head taller. “You’re not going to be working for the Royal family, you’re going to be invited to join it.”
	[WP] You accidentally punched '6666' into your ritual instead of '666', and have summoned Hypersatan.	I've seen some shit, I've seen a guys ribs tear themselves out of his chest and go flying off into the night like a bat made of barbecue, I once saw a 800 pound woman eat an entire dining set. In short my life tends to take me into some pretty fucked up situations. I'm a bartender by trade but something about the bar I work at just seems to drag in anything weird in the tristate area and somehow I end up having to fix it. The upside of this is I've grown pretty inured to surprise, the guy I'm talking to turns out to 5 cursed racoons in a human suit looking for help getting their bodies back, been there done that got the t shirt. But nothing has surprised me more than the being known as Hyper-Satan. A guy came in said Satan had stolen his daughter, I told him I get off my shift in 30 minutes and I'll get to him then. I've had "dealings" with Satan in the past by which I mean I tripped into a hell portal once while drunk and stole his book of spells which is currently acting as a coaster in my apartment. So I wasn't exactly eager to deal with him again since last time I saw him he said he would and I quote " kill me so hard I die twice" which I'm not sure is possible but I don't feel particularly inclined to find out. Either way I took the father to the back and started carving the runes needed to summon the lord of hell into the human plane, I was interrupted by the nervous father asking if I really knew what I was doing. This right there is where things got bad because I added an extra digit while I was assuring the father that I knew exactly what I was doing. Suddenly there was an ear rending screech and the air began to fill with the scent of stale coffee and despair. This was when I realized my mistake and began running only to nearly break my nose on a wall that wasn't there 5 seconds ago. The ear piercing whine stopped and was replaced with a nasal voice saying "number eleven million two hundred and fifty seven please come forward"" I turned around and was face to face with a man. Just a man. No pointed teeth no mind rending visage that Should Not Exist just a vaguely bored looking man wearing a business casual white shirt and tie "You have reached Hyper-Hell please take a number and you will see Mr Hyper Satan when your number is called" I reached a trembling hand forward and pulled on the small tab of paper coming from the number dispenser hanging from the small desk. It took 15 minutes to pull the number off and half way through it turned into arcane symbols that hurt to look at before turning back into numbers for the last foot. That was when I started screaming.	The tang of blood hung heavy in the stagnant air, seeming to grow thicker by the minute as the chanting rose to a crescendo. Thirteen torches flickered and flared, the only light in the darkness, firelight reflecting off the pool of blood in the centre of the room, and off the open, empty eyes of the man lying in it. The heavy thrum of the incantation grew deeper and deeper, warping into a noise no human could ever have made. The circle of chalk and ash began to glow, the alien script that twined along it pulsing like a heartbeat, and the corpse inside started to twitch and jerk, steam escaping from its every orifice as the blood on the floor began to bubble. The smell of burning flesh and boiling blood permeated the air, searing itself into the minds of each and every one of the still chanting cultists. A bell chimed, somewhere off in the distance, signaling midnight's arrival, and the circle screamed, an agonized, inhuman howl. The torches guttered out as the glow grew blinding for just a moment, then faded away, leaving the cultists in darkness. There was a second of utter silence. Then another. Then a shuffling noise, like someone shifting awkwardly. "Did it work?" There was another moment of tense quiet, then a loud exhale. "I guess not. Turn on the lights, will you?" There was more shuffling as one of the cultists navigated along the basement wall to the light switch. She fumbled for a bit, clicked on the light, then squinted at the wall for a moment so her eyes could adjust. A stroke of luck. Arguably. Behind her, the other twelve stood, transfixed, faces twisting into expressions of horror and terror and confusion at the grotesque horror standing in the center of the circle, vocal cords frozen in the face of such monstrosity, each desperately trying to let out the scream they could feel building in their lungs. The last cultist began to turn, then froze as claws dug into her scalp. The monstrous paw holding her head gently turned her around, and through the rush of blood in her ears she could hear some massive bulk move behind her, nails clacking on the floor. Her compatriots were all twitching on the floor, bleeding from the eyes and mouth, faces frozen into anguished death masks. The creature marched her forwards, past her dying friends, up to the circle. She stared, her vision gone hazy in her terror, shaking too hard to do anything but stand there. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a twisted something move past her head, and point at a spot on the circle. There, in the twisted language of the infernal realms. 6-6-6.... 6 Then there was hot breath at her ear, sulfurous and toxic, and it was all she could do not to faint right there. The noise that emerged from the creature pierced through her soul, and shattered her eardrums. Still, the meaning rang clear in her head. "I'm a busy man. Don't bother me again without an appointment." Then it was gone, and she was kneeling among the bodies of her dying friends, ears bleeding, mind broken. "Don't bother don't bother dont bother dontbotherdontdontdontdont"
	[WP] You are a superhero. Your arch nemesis walks up to you, unmasks, then says, "I need your help."	There was a knock on the door. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't this. Acid- My nemesis. He used his trademark hydrofluoric acid guns to break into bank vault, break people out of prison and blind anyone who got in his way. I leapt back, and took a defensive stance. "Get back! Get away! Help some-one cal-" He strode into the room, slammed the door shut and pressed his hand over my mouth. "Drop it, Starman. I know it's you. No need to involve bystanders, is there." He met my eyes, and let go. "I have no idea what you're-" "Save it. I've known your alter ego for two years now. Never saw the point in busting you for it." I keep me eye on his, warily. "What do you want?" He stepped back, and took a deep breath. He pulled off his mask. "I need your help." This was the first time I'd seen his face- he was a master of escaping. His skin was sallow, and his hair was falling out. He looked like death. "What happened to you?" "Lung cancer. Turns out acid ain't great for your lungs. Doc says I have two months, tops." "Well.. there's nothing I can do.. you must know that." I was confused as all hell. I didn't want to help him- he was a murderer, a thief... dangerous. But even if I did want to, what could I do for that? He reached into his pocket, I flinched reflectively. He pulled out his wallet, and offered it to me. I took it, hesitantly. Inside... were dozens of pictures of a little girl, maybe five years old. "My daughter... Anna. She doesn't know about this. About any of it. Her mama... she's gone too. She's all alone in this world when I'm gone, and I sure as fuck don't want her anywhere near the foster system. I've been there... I know what it can do to people. I mean, look at me?" "Acid...a-" "My names Kyle. Kyle Davidson" "Kyle...why me? Surely you must-?" "I spray acid in people's faces for a living. I have money, enought o give her the life she deserves. All yours, if you'll take her." "The money you stole." I said, bluntly. "Some of it." "I can't take it, What you did was wrong...I can't be a part of that." "Please. I'll do anything. I just need to know she's with someone I can trust to do right by her, look after her. Name your price. Anything." I looked back to the pictures... I had him on a platter. I could get him to confess to his crimes, serve as much of his time as he had left. Her smiling face held me. She only had two more months with her dad. I handed him back the wallet. "I don't want your money. Give it back, or give it to a good cause. My price is this- no more trouble from you until... Spend time with your little girl, give her something to remember you by. When the time comes... she'll be safe with me. I promise." He looked... relieved. Like he hadn't expected this to work. "Thank you. You have my word.... I was afraid you'd send me to prison. I would have, you know. For Anna." "Go on. Go find her, and show her how much you care. I'll be there when you need me, Kyle."	"Dave, buddy, old friend... I need your help." Catman took off his mask, his face was half melted. "Fuck off!", I replied while grabbing his arms to handcuff them. "They don't call me MrMerciless for nothing."
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	It had been a crazy year. Both sides had made mistakes. Just years earlier world governments realized an attack on humanity was a real possibility and decided to prepare for one. Our mistake was thinking an attack would come from the skies, from extraterrestrials. We were wrong. March 22, 2021, 2:40AM. That's when it had all started. I was was so naive back then. A lowly Lieutenant fresh out of the ROTC program, stationed in South Korea. And by my side my wife, whom I had met Freshman year of college. I was holding my new born son in the South Korean hospital when it began. First the bright red and yellow lights from the north, then the orders came in to report to base at once. What the hell was going on? Had North Korea picked now of all times to pick a fight? I said goodbye and kissed my wife and son for the last time. As I left the hospital I saw it, a massive flaming ball hit the hospital at the base causing a massive explosion and the collapse of the building. My wife, my son. That was the longest night of my life. They had decided to attack the most densely populated areas of earth first, thinking those were the most powerful nations leaving NATO and the Americas relatively untouched. That was their mistake. Although taking Africa and most of Asia in a matter of days, Russia was able to hold them back just long enough for the West to mobilize. Russia and the remaining Chinese attacked from northern Asia while the West repelled their attempts to take Spain and Italy. Israel, surprisingly, had been able to hold their own before the Americans and Russians pushed the hell spawn out of Egypt, Syria, and Jordan. It took roughly a year to push the demons out of the world. On their retreat they closed the portals in China and India thinking we wouldn't be able to get back in, that was their second mistake. While the war had raged on our scientists had been studying the portals and had unlocked their secret. World leaders decided that to prevent another attack we must take hell. At first we had much trouble, for you see it's one thing to fight on earth, but it's another to fight in hell, where there are quite literally hellish conditions, on ground we did not know. Eventually world leadership decided we had had enough, and decided to, well, in the worlds of President Lonestar, "Nuke 'em"	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	In 2021 Hell invaded Earth. There was carnage and 10% of the world population centered around the big cities died in the first months. After that the world governments took measures against them. The fiends could no longer kill whoever they wanted. We started pushing them back to the very gate of hell. But there was three-headed dog on that gate. A dog impervious to every measure we could think of. We even threw a nuke at it, but it just ate it up. The enemy was pushed back to the gate, yes, but they didn't stop coming. People still died and fighting still broke out in remote parts of the worlds. Terror attacks were becoming more increasing. Religion itself was on the rise. 90% of the human population now believed in one religion or the other. Meanwhile scientists and world leaders kept the research going to find how to end the war decisively. In 2022 we did. We figured out how to invade Hell. And here I stand before the table of world leaders, before each a secure line to their respective countries. Today was the day we invaded Hell. Everybody in the world was aware about it. During the past few months the attacks from Hell have gotten increasingly frantic in trying to stop us, but we won't. We can't. We will win this war. We are humanity. "Initiate nuclear destruction. Kill everybody."	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	I was 32 when the first portal opened. At first, it went unnoticed by humanity, mostly confined to conspiracy websites and UFO nuts. It was located in the middle of the Pacific Northwest and no one had too much motive to check it out. But once the earth cracked open, there was no stopping or denying the demon invasion that had begun. At first, it was difficult for humanity to fight back. These were enemies unlike anything our modern weapons had ever fought before. We had to think differently about it. It's funny that the solution came from someone like me. I didn't want to be the hero. I was just tired of running. I was tired of watching my friends slaughtered by the demons, watching their souls slip away into the grasp of those redskinned bastards. It didn't take some mystical weapon, or secret incantations, or holy water. I fought back, and in doing so, found a strength I had never thought myself capable of. The demon I fought couldn't land a hit on me, and I had figured out why. The invaders drew their power from the fear they induced in humanity. So long as we refused to be afraid of them, they had no power over us. When that knowledge began to spread throughout the world, the battles were quickly won. We're still picking up the pieces, but we're ready to take the fight to them. Through our strength, we will liberate those still trapped in Hell, and triumph in ways no one could have expected in those early days. We became the people we were always meant to become. That's how we won the first time. And that's how we'll win this time.	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Torsdag, Dey 02, 2021, at precisely 14:59:59 Greenwich Mean Time was the last moment of the common era. The following second, 40 black gateways opened around the planet and the era of Terra Satanica began. The demonic armies of Hell spilled out into the Earth like fire locusts and burned the ancient cities of humanity to ash in seven days. Our weapons, though not useless, were pitifully inadequate for the sheer numbers that Hell threw at us. Pan Reich historians estimate that over 6.5 billion met their first death during the invasion. Three hundred fifty million were enslaved on Earth in the following weeks and by the new year, only 150 million free souls remained. To call them "free" is taking some liberties with the history. They existed within a literal hell-scape of ruin, smoke and putrescent death, scurrying through the rubble and into the sewers and hills to avoid the demonic slaving squads that scoured cities in search of fodder for their death camps. Those who made it to the forests, hills, tundra, deserts and other wild areas lived off garbage and what they could gather from the land. The eight months that followed were what came to be known as the Black Eight. Disease, starvation and cannibalism were rampant. Those who survived the Black Eight did so because they were the strongest and the most ruthless of those around them. Life became a nightmare for the survivors and Humanity's number dwindled to the lowest it had been since the Paleolithic bombardment. For someone living amongst the 72 billion of the Pan Reich that now populates the SolSys, it may seem hard to imagine, but Hell had all but beaten man-kind. It was in Julian of the following year, 2022, that humanity struck back. Detailed accounts of what actually happened are unclear. Most who were there will tell you though, that it was an American woman, one "Barbara Villante," who saved us. A skirmish party in what had been the Southern United States ambushed the demons guarding the Atlanta Hell Mouth and overpowered them, allowing Miss Villante to enter Hell. What she did once inside is unclear. Villante never returned. However, it was 48 hours later, that the fallen armies of Earth began to march out through all 40 Hell-gates across the planet. Legions of Nazis, Romans, Mongols, Vikings, Persians, Spartans, Saracens and every other past scourge of humanity spilled out onto the demon-infested Earth and fell upon the demonic overlords like white blood cells devouring a cancer. We now know that Hell exists in a universe parallel to our own where time, among other things, works in ways...I'll just say in ways we here in the SolSys aren't used to. I won't tell you more for fear of ruining what will surely be a formative experience for the lot of you. You'll all find out exactly what I'm talking about on this, your culling day, just as every other little soul has found out before you. Yes Johnny? Well of course I can explain. On your culling day, your family will gather and throw you a party, whereupon your little throat will be cut in the culling ceremony that every brave little human monster must undergo. I know it's scary but your parents will be there to greet you at the hell mouth when you re-emerge after your stint in Camp Seventh Layer just as your parents did and just as their parents did before them. Ah! Here are the first parents now.	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	We didn't win. That's the first thing you have to understand is that in the hellfire and destruction that began on April 21, 2021, we did not win. How could we? They brought holy might and abominations. Stuff of legends. Biblical. Apocalyptic. Name it, they had it. We fell like dominoes, our spines mere matchsticks in their hands. Our planes were struck from the air. Our tanks used as hammers against our inept rage. But our wills were light to pierce the deepest darkness, for we had one thing they did not. We had numbers. Angels do not breed. So then does it follow that The Fallen don't either. And those two forces have been fighting for a millennium and growing ever smaller on both sides. They only ceased because the demons disengaged. Because they noticed something. We were vulnerable. We were a a world divided into hundreds of individual countries. Different ideals. Different religions. We had no collective army. We were too busy throwing ourselves at each other to unify. Who could resist such a delectable treat? And so they came in their hundreds. A single Fallen could kill a regiment. 5 could destroy a city. 10 took out North Korea in it's entirety. But for every one we felled, it was one less against us. Killing a Fallen was a major victory. And slowly, we thinned the herd. Don't get me wrong, it took work. Our countries were barely united, reluctantly cooperating to destroy this threat to our world even as politicians and spies tried to take advantage of loosened security and scientists worked to create a new armor and new weapons for a new age. But the frontline were as brothers. There is no time to hate man for what his superiors are doing when at any moment he might have to save your life. And with our brothers we lay into the Fallen with everything we had. Soon enough, the last 97 Fallen were fleeing, leaving behind a world tainted and broken. Now I find myself standing on the edge of a black hole in the ground. A hole that swallows light itself greedily, as though trying to consume the sun a single ray at a time. This is where they came from and this is to be their tomb. We have men and weapons enough to destroy whatever remains, and trucks on call to come and loot anything we can find. Anything to pull us forward and repair the damage that was done. We've cried all our tears. We've said all our prayers. Whether we survive our march through Hell is up to God himself. Let Operation Purgatory commence.	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"Sir, the heat is more intense than we anticipated, we could harness the very fires of hell for unlimited energy! Fossil fuels will be a thing of the past!" The professor exclaimed. "Then we shall prepare to invade. However this is their turf, we need preperation." Replied the President,"Hell believes there to be the mightiest flame of all, but the fire they have started on earth will spread across the plains of hell and turn to ash everything these demons claim to be their own." President Nixon walked to his desk and picked up the phone. "Gather our scientists," he said, as the professor opened the Oval Office door,"we need our drones to be able to withstand the heat, and we need to know if the signal can pass through that portal." "Right away Mr. President!" He said hurriedly. Nixon dialed the defense secretary, envisioning the glory of being the conqueror of hell itself. "Mr. President" he heard, returning his attention to the task at hand. "We have driven the Hellspawn back into their holes, but they will return. We must cut the head from the snake and burn the remains." He said confidently. "Are you suggesting we follow them to the depths of hell? Follishne-" the secretary of defense began. "I am suggesting we take the depths of hell out from under their feet, and declare it the property of the human race!" Nixon interrupted, followed by a thick silence. "You're right Mr. President. We will begin preperation." He replied. March 17th, 2022. Private Terry Dillon As construction of Fort Gabriel neared it's end, a certain dread fell over us. Although most of the fighting would be done with drones, we knew many of us would not survive. I was working for a security company in Israel when the first portal ripped open, ground zero. It was like the throat of reality had been slit, and bled a pool of demons. And now here I am, first of the humans to walk the ashen grounds, breathing the soot filled air. The first in line to die if the hell spawn were to learn of the portal we kept open. It's been 2 months and 4 days, with no sign of the enemy. Our drones cover a 5 mile area, so we will know when they have. My shift is coming. Tonight, I face the void again. I pray it doesn't devour me first, then again, are prayers even heard from the depths of hell? If I die here, will I become one of them? I guess I could be a spy if so. "Who would have thought I would be fighting along side an American pig?" Azim said with disdain. "Watch your mouth terrorist, we are surrounded by demons and the captain wouldn't question if you don't come back." Tyler replied aggressively tilting his rifle in Azim's direction," we're alone here, and I don't expect survival or paradise, so it would be my final pleasure to end you." They could hear the screech of a hell spawn, and knew that meant more of their comrades had been found. "We move now pig, quickly." Azim whispered. Tyler peaked over the boulder they hid behind, and say one of their beasts. The size of a building, it scanned the ground for more victims from the blood-red sky. With a gesture, they retreated. Stalking away close to the ground, they kept behind every crevice large enough to hide them. For an hour they moved slowly, until there was no sign of the army of hell. "We are clear, but I don't recognize this area. We are lost it would seem." Tyler stated, searching the distance for one of the landmarks on his map. "Fantastic, we should have just let them kill us back there, at least it's better than starving out here," complained Azim,"we need to plan for our rations, these plants are probably just as vile as the demons." "You split that up, I'm going to see if I can fix the compass," Tyler said,"it was fried when we were ambushed. Though it'd be nice if an actual compass, give me your radio, we may be able to salvage whatever is broken." "Take it," he replied,"I will show the area first. Give me the map, we'll need at least a home field advantage of they find us before you finish." They traded the map and radio as Azim began walking away, and Tyler pulled out his knife and pried the radio open. The heatsuits would only last three days, and they wouldn't last long in the burning wasteland without them. Time was ticking. "One good thing about hell is we can cook on these rocks" Azim said, watching the "quality rations" sizzling on the boulder. "So the glass is half full after all." Replied Tyler in a snarky voice. He had spent hours trying to use the radio scrap to fix the electonic compass, which points to the portal's direction. "Hah! I'm a genius, it works!" Tyler exclaimed. The compass lot up and pointed behind them. "Let us go now." replied Azim. Without another word they set off. Hours later they saw a tower in the distance. "That is not Gabriel." Azim said,"but that is a tower. We may have made a mistake." "Mistake or not, there is a portal in there. Which means we missed one, and nobody else could possibly know." Tyler said slowly, hands shaking. "We have to go in there." He continued. Both with pale faces and tight chests,"without a clear path to Fort Gabriel, it's our only way out." "Can we even make it? Our suits only have two days of power left. You would think they could have made these things power off of the heat of this shithole." Azim said. "You know those bastards are always a step behind" Tyler replied. The hours drug on as the two made their way to the ominous tower. The closer they got, the more threatening the tower seemed. Finally, they approached a cliff, and saw a twisted city surrounding the blood red tower. "Any ideas sand man?" Tyler asked. "I thought you were the genius Yankee doodle." Azim replied. They could see demons crowding the streets. "We need a closer look," Aziz thought aloud,"demons where armor, maybe we can find some." "Sounds like a plan, let's find a clear path, good thing there aren't any walls, let's try there first." Tyler said. "Sounds good Captain America." Aziz remarked. They searched out a path down the cliff and headed for the city of demons. Soldiers from all nationalities gathered in Fort Gabriel, drones by the hundreds of thousands piled high on the earth side of the portal, the armies of the world gathered in Nevada. "General, we are preparing our expanse, the drones are charged and our pilots are ready." The soldier explained. "Have the tanks been fitted with the heat resistant armor?"asked General Hampton. "We have a few hundred finished and ready, but it will take time to finish them all." The soldier replied. "Any new intel on enemy positions?" Hampton asked. "Sergeant Roberts has a report prepared in the Fort and requests you meet with him shortly." "I'll cross over now, inform General Pratt." The General crossed through the portal and made his way to the command center. Passing, he observed men and women scrambling to prepare the air and land drones, moving tanks into position, and lining up at the gates. As he approached the door, Sergeant Roberts opened it and invited him in. "General, we will begin our first wave when the cyborg platoon arrives," Roberts began,"we've sent many scouts and drones to scout out a location for construction of Fort Raziel. We've had resistance, and lost many men, but we have a location, and hellspawn have yet to pinpoint our location. They know we are here. Soon they will know we are to be feared." "And the Davey Crockets?" Hampton asked. "Sir they are prepared for launch." Roberts answered. "Good. Satan will know hell fire crafted by humanity. I've always wanted to see a nuke up close, we need to find where horde hides." Replied Hampton. Not enough time to keep going, how was it?	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	They arrived last year. At first the reports were ignored. The Possessed were either crazy from the start or hopped up on drugs. The murders were the work of wild animals. Then the Overlords arrived and Hell on Earth could no longer be denied. The first year was a disaster every day. The mountain of dead, on the streets and in our homes, grew larger by the minute. The survivors either turned to prayer, cowered in whatever place they thought safe, or ended their life only to rise again as one of the Fallen. A year was all it took. A year to gather our senses. A year to get braver. A year to grow our strength. On the anniversary of the Rising, we attacked in full force. The Overlords were felled, their minions dispatched. The weight of the world's power, in unison, was flung at the enemy. There was no mercy. The culmination of our efforts was the launching of our nuclear weapons into the breaches. Hell had risen and we had beat it down. Earth is a quieter place now. A better place. We are safer. We are united.	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Zephriel was tired. It had been a year - a long, brutally taxing year - since the humans' moral fiber had eroded The Spheres enough for Hell to begin leaking over into Earth. The screams, the chaos - they had been exciting at first. But kill a few million humans, burn a few cities - there were always more of them. Each one the inheritor of generations of cleverness, ingenuity, ideas - - ideas, the little bastards had ideas! Zephriel sidestepped a gaggle of giggling highschoolers, ducking to get under one of the ubiquitous new street lamps that dotted the twisting avenues of his home. Former home; it was unfamiliar to him now. "Excuse..?" Zephriel looked down at the face of a Japanese businessman. The man patiently coughed and Zephriel realized he'd stepped into the man's path. He backpedaled, looking for a new avenue through the throng of laughing, praying, ogling humanity coursing through his beloved Hell. The businessman was soon lost in the press, and Zephriel gamely waded in - careful not to step on or smash the humans who came up to his knees. ------ Ideas. That's what had started all of this - - lawyers, scientists, politicians. They'd gotten in touch somehow, penetrated layers of the understood Hate and Rage and Malice and talked brass tacks at someone with Power. Power enough to get a message to the Big Cheese, the Morning Star. It had quickly snowballed from there; the rampaging hell-monsters were pacified or put down, rogue priests and fallen on both sides likewise. Malcontents and.. racists? No, speciests, had no place in the Unified Earth/Nethersphere Economic Zone. The UENEZ was a place where Daemonic power was exchanged for Earthly delights - - a gaggle of uniformly blonde European students practically skipped by, passing a pair of hellhound puppies between one-another like a hot-potato and upsetting Zephriel's reverie. He pulled his pointed ears down over his glower and turned the corner, nearing his destination. Earthly delights. Fruit! Manicures! Saunas! Zephriel was particularly fond of durian and Swedish massage, but you didn't see him making deals for souls in exclusive exchange for stinky spiked orbs or afternoons with Liam. It seemed uncouth now that it was the humans flooding hell with earwax and drops of virgin blood, propelling the demonic economy into the 21st century. True rarities (you had to be over 18 or 10,0000 to make any deals, as per UENEZ regulations) like virgin blood or an honest smile were in high demand, whereas Zephriel's collection of Maidens' Ecstatic Whimpers was quickly depreciating. Ideas! -- Zephriel disliked offices. In the twentieth century, as mortal power was more and more concentrated in these places he'd had to spend a necessary amount of time in them, but.. he still preferred the old Way. A circle, chanting, perhaps some blood. This was too.. stiff. The androgynous figure behind the desk struck him as odd immediately - not for the androgyny, but its poise. Humans had quickly adapted to take in the various physiologies of the Netherworld, but they weren't usually so damn smug looking about it. "Mister.. Zephriel?" THAT IS CORRECT. "Welcome to UENEZ processing, stage 1. Apologies for our tardiness in processing your case - alphabets are not always fair. Any questions or concerns you have may be fielded by our front desk, which you passed on the way in. Let's get down to it, shall we? It says here on this form that you've control over northern gales and are also wont to "visit maidens in their night's sleep." That's correct, is it?" IN GENERAL TERMS, YES. "Well I've got some global shipping concerns and airlines who have an offer of.. it averages out to about two hundred offerings per day, delivered quarterly, in exchange for your work with them in the northern hemisphere." T- TWO HUNDR- ER. I MEAN. OF COURSE, AS IS MY DUE. Two hundred offerings per day?? Zephriel hadn't received two thousand offerings in the course of his existence, and here they intended to give him that in a little over a week! Zephriel's world spun for a moment. "And, sir/madam, there is also here.. an, erm, more delicate item. A queue of.. ah.. maidens that have submitted their names to the Visitations registry. Under the category.. indecent. That is to say, their full consent is given, as stipulated in UENEZ inter-species associations, for varying degrees of.. friendly interaction." This at least flustered the bureaucrat. Zephriel was hardly less abashed. MAIDEN.. REGISTRY? "That is correct, sir/madam. If you find these terms unacceptable, the exit to your right leads to the Void Gate, and you can take your arguments up with a direct representative of the Morning Star prior to your dissolution in the Ether. If you wish to go that route, fill out these two forms.." - the forms were slid across the otherwise pristine desk - "..and be sure to mention your level of satisfaction with our service." Maidens. Queued. 200 offerings per day. Ideas. I.. THINK NOT. "Excellent! In that case, here is the Binding, if I could please have your Mark here.. and your True Name here.." Zephriel sized up the bureaucrat, noting the evenness of features, the subtle nimbus. Suspiciously.. clear complexion. Of course the meddling hand of the Divine was involved in this. Zephriel grinned, reaching for the paperwork. This seemed quite the era for change.. If the humans could humanize Hell, it was only a matter of time til Heaven would follow. What an interesting.. Idea.	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	The last testament of Praxel, A Lord of Hell. When the gates began to crackle with energy again it was almost unknown to us, after thousands of years of dormancy the hope of venturing forth as kings and conquerors into the low worlds was all but lost. In a bout of wisdom the old man had stopped meddling in their affairs, realizing that any aid to those lower life forms would inevitably lead them to be worse. His isolation had made it so the source of energy for the gates was gone. We thought we had him to thank when they re-opened, with a surge of energy that didn’t just allow for a few hundred of us to slip through, like it had been millennia ago, but thousands if we wished. The old man had finally forsaken the creatures he took pity on, obviously. Why he ever enjoyed them was a mystery to us to begin with, they were weak, and helpless. His reasoning was at best flimsy “You do not understand how rare sentience is, it’s a mistake of life, trillions and trillions of worlds and we were the last to achieve it billions of years ago. You don’t remember our climb, my misshapen children, but you still enjoy the long life and the powerful bodies its technology provided, even if you have squandered them.” Squandered, the old fool—as if he and his ‘perfect’ little group of sycophants had any room to talk. It did not matter though, they chose their way and we chose our way. The scars from our people’s war still remain evident on our world, a world our ancestors had created to be perfect, somewhere above the low worlds—though how they had done it was lost to us. The old man had stolen the knowledge, and he’d stolen it to protect those sniveling, weak humans, who now existed on a world more pristine than our own, despite it being a low world. Whatever they had done to piss the old man off, we should thank them for we had thought, maybe we’d keep a few as pets since that would really be all they were good for. Some still lived that remember those times when we last saw humanity, they had been part of the small hosts that slipped to their world four millennia ago. They all looked alike, not like us. The smallest of us was their size, but the largest could stretch a dozen feet into the air. Some of us had fur, some of us scales, some skin—all signs of the beauty of expression our people had discovered long ago, on of the magics lost to us now, allowing us to be what we wished. We were stronger than them, one of the old-timers said he could crush a man’s head in his hand. Not that we’d even need to, they died on their own! Their bodies broke down without having to be killed in just a few decades, so weak, it was unfathomable how the old man saw them as more than insects. So of course as the hosts of Hell prepared for war, gathering our swords and armor, we felt nothing but excitement. As the portals opened, we found the humans had infested their world, millions of them crawling in and out of these large hives they had erected like vermin. They were still as weak as ever. I personally killed a dozen, slicing their heads off with ease. The stories about how it took dozens of them with spears to even harm an old timer were evident now, and these humans didn’t have a weapon in sight. As my warriors moved through one of these hives the humans had found and dwelt in, all sorts of treasures were brought to me. One, a sleek little shiny thing seemed to be some kind of mirror that worked in a very odd way, one held it up to something and on the other side of it was the image. One of my warriors had said a human was holding it up trying to steal his soul, apparently. After examining it, though, I assured him such a thing was not possible—it was some trick. It was one of many queer things, like the carriages the humans seemed to move in with no beasts to draw them. Or how they talked into those little mirror things, often times screaming some gibberish; not that the talking was odd, humans often held odd objects to them and muttered things in their final moments. What was odd was how none of them knew our language, the old ones said the Sumerian spoke our tongue with ease after the old man taught them, but now? They seemed to have lost even that grace. Our pride allowed us to take this as another sign they had fallen. But it wasn’t until Iculbun, a small goat looking fellow and a good friend too, fell that we suspected something might be amiss. This human in blue waved something at him that popped—and stung him. Not badly, but enough to draw blood. Inculbun was so incensed he immediately leapt toward the man and ripped his heart out. In his celebration he failed to notice another man by him, this one had some kind of staff. Fire came from the end of it, and a loud thunderous noise—Inculbun jerked as if he’d been punched. The man moved his hand down the staff with a clicking sound and yet more fire rained from it. Inculbun tried to move toward the man but five thunderous roars of that staff later, Inculbun was dead. The old man above, the humans had learned magic, I thought to myself. A swarm of my warriors tore the man to shreds post-haste, but I could see it in their eyes, fear. Oh, my ignorance was great then as I spoke to them, assuring them that we had killed hundreds and only seen but two of these wizards so far, and the one could do little more than hurl useless tiny stones. If this was the limit of humanity’s newfound knowledge of magic, then we had nothing to fear. My warriors even picked up their staffs, and little slings--they let forth a great popping roar a few times but then they stopped working, it seemed like whatever power these Wizards held was fleeting at best. I had thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, this was why the old man had opened the gates again. He never did like it when these creatures tampered in things beyond their understanding, and the mystical arts were things he reserved almost solely for himself. My warriors were renewed. The crusade continued. I should have paid attention to the runners which brought news of other portals, speaking of how large carriages of humans had shown up, with men inside that looked like the Wizards, but had deep black on instead and all of them had staffs of a different sort. Preposterous. If so many Wizards existed, surely there would be more among them then the few we had encountered since our first sighting, I had thought. Almost none of them had those large staffs, the only trick they could do were what we had come to call ‘magic missile’, annoying yes, like the bite of a Frimpltoad, enough to draw blood, but nothing seriously dangerous unless it somewhere truly vulnerable. But even then we were only vulnerable because we’d become careless, we abandoned our large hell-forged shields because they were too heavy and the humans seemed to be helpless. Once my warriors had taken them up again, the thick pieces of iron that weighed nearly what the humans themselves did, the little tricks the Wizards had were useless, they barely scratched the shield. Even the staffs only dented it a little. If this was the extent of human magic, we truly did have little to worry about. However as men in black, soft armor showed up—with their long staffs that did not click after each missile, our difficulties increased. Their thunder staves still could not pierce our hell-iron, it simply left little dings, but the thick metal held—and it was large enough to cover a demons body near entire. Still, if one of my warriors was caught unawares, or was flanked, these staves could rip right through his body, causing a wound that was shocking in its severity. It was at that point that we became serious. Employing tactics we had used against the armies of men who came to oppose us before. Lined with shields and sword, we protected each other and slew the black armored men—and once again, my warriors were renewed. With the loss of but a few their greatest Wizards were still easy to butcher as long as we treated them with the little respect they deserved. Truly this world would be ours in week, we thought. We enjoyed the plunder, and death for two days as the humans seemed to abandon their hives. Eventually nearly none were left—it was quite the exodus, all things told, very organized. But we knew they’d be hiding in the hills, humans always ran for the hills the old timers said. We tried to make sense of the gibberish they spoke, even capturing some and torturing them to speak correctly. We looked through books, and found nothing familiar. These fools really had fallen from grace, and we were emboldened even more, we’d go root them from their holes and enjoy the fruits of our victory in time....Oh what fools we were.	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Gather round the campfire, young ones, and I'll tell you the greatest story of old. You see, there was a time when we thought the stories of gods and monsters were just that - stories. But as you all know, early in the twenty-first Century, we realised we were living in one of those stories. In the summer of 2020, the world was wracked with earthquakes. The very magma of the earth was awakened, it seemed. But what bled forth from the underworld was not material or mineral, but monsters. Real monsters. These demons, vile and impossible creatures, were bred for one purpose. To create torment, to inflict pain and to induce fear. They streamed from rents in the earth like a ravening, frothing tide. Great beings of wildfire and ichor, spindly crawlers of iron and blood, even fair temptresses with cat's eyes and honeyed whispers. Many worlds had fallen to them in the past. They broke morale and won the wars before ever they reached the poor creatures that faced them, weeping and bowels emptying in terror. That these personifications of all they feared could also tear them apart once they got to them was almost unnecessary, because few could bear to resist them in any meaningful way. The devils were evil and fear incarnate; it was what they were created for and they knew nothing else. Which was why they failed. They were born cruel, but we humans, we had discovered it for ourselves. And we liked it. Through all the horrors men and women had faced in their fifty thousand year climb from neanderthals to farmers, builders and creators, none had ever been enough to break us. For the truth about humans is that we aren't incredible, nor amazing, at doing any one thing. But we adapt, faster and more readily than anything. The first waves of infernal creatures were enough to end cities and leave nations in ruins... but so what? Had we not done far worse ourselves in the wars? Great clanking, hissing metal and flesh machines might shriek out of the mists and pull victims into their grinding rollers, but was this terror any worse than the armoured tank charges men had stood fast against for over a century? Perhaps the first time a skittering spider-tree the size of a building attacks your squad, you may run in fear. But the second time you hold your ground and shoot back long enough for an orderly retreat. By the fifth, you've already been placing C4 to blow limbs off while a sniper takes out the eyes. A month later and there's a chalk board in the mess with a comical drawing of one dancing in a frying pan and the line 'just add napalm, asshole' and a tally of the squads with the most confirmed kills. The infernal momentum did not hold after the first few weeks. They could send their most single-minded, brutal killers to the front lines as their spearhead, but so could we. And we sent them with Abrams, Raptors and Predators. People adapted. Mankind stumbled briefly before standing up and roaring. Great columns of armoured vehicles stretched to the horizons as nations emptied their arsenals and shared the great reserves of weapons. Millions of men and women armed to the teeth and bred for millions of years to survive and kill other people above all found they had something more to offer. All those killer instincts, but aimed at a great enemy and fighting for our very survival? Bands of brothers will fight to the death for one another and we did. Oh, we did. But we made them die first. We humans have killed each other since the dawn of time, giving us the skills and the utter ingenuity at crafting death weapons and vessels to turn on any foe. The demons had never had such savvy prey as one another. That was why they lost. And when their lines broke on the plains of Africa and the Andes, humans did what they've been doing for a thousand, thousand years. The enemy routed. They ran them down. They smelled victory and they butchered the defeated enemy. They pursued them all the way back to Hades. The hellspawn knew they were utterly lost and they ran as if all the demons of myth and legend were chasing them. Alas they were not so fortunate.	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	'Sir, it's here' 'Thank you private. Nice to meet you, I'm General De Sancto, commander of this operation. May I have the privilege to learn your name?' 'The name is Beleth, and I see that you are prepare for the invasion of Hell.' 'Yes, the Alliance HQ want to send their thank for your cooperation. With your help we destroyed Asmodai legion and capture Asmodai himself. And now, we are on the doorstep of Hell itself. I thank you on behalf of my men, your help saved many lives.' 'That's is the pact I signed with my contractor, no need for any gratitude to me, send them to my contractor. Now, are your men prepared general?' 'We are ready to go, if the recon is correct, we will strike Allocer's legions during their transportation to Earth. After that, your legions will attack them from the rear and secure the beachhead on the other side.' 'That is the plan my conjurer gave me. You can proceed anytime' 'Hard to believe it's only been 18 months after Earth was attacked by Hell, all kind of monsters and creatures poured out of the Hellgates. After a brief stalemate now we are here, preparing for a counter invasion. If it wasn't for the traitor dukes we probably would be in a very different position. I wonder how did your contractor convince you to signed the pact' 'It's simple actually, he promised us both Earth and Hell' 'Wha--' Shadow from beneath Beleth wraps De Sancto, and then it was gone like it was never there, leaving the general like he was, but inside his mind there is a little demon controlling it. 'Commence the operation, and make sure you followed the plan. Soon both worlds shall be our.' 15th, November 2022, 18 months after Hell invaded Earth, the invasion was stopped and reach a stalemate. Now, the First Expeditionary Army comprises of elements from Alliance of Human Nation invades Hell. The human thought victory will soon be their, but little did they know, they were just pawns on the table, being moved by someone else.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	I was 32 when the first portal opened. At first, it went unnoticed by humanity, mostly confined to conspiracy websites and UFO nuts. It was located in the middle of the Pacific Northwest and no one had too much motive to check it out. But once the earth cracked open, there was no stopping or denying the demon invasion that had begun. At first, it was difficult for humanity to fight back. These were enemies unlike anything our modern weapons had ever fought before. We had to think differently about it. It's funny that the solution came from someone like me. I didn't want to be the hero. I was just tired of running. I was tired of watching my friends slaughtered by the demons, watching their souls slip away into the grasp of those redskinned bastards. It didn't take some mystical weapon, or secret incantations, or holy water. I fought back, and in doing so, found a strength I had never thought myself capable of. The demon I fought couldn't land a hit on me, and I had figured out why. The invaders drew their power from the fear they induced in humanity. So long as we refused to be afraid of them, they had no power over us. When that knowledge began to spread throughout the world, the battles were quickly won. We're still picking up the pieces, but we're ready to take the fight to them. Through our strength, we will liberate those still trapped in Hell, and triumph in ways no one could have expected in those early days. We became the people we were always meant to become. That's how we won the first time. And that's how we'll win this time.	As I sit in this car I realize that I should be feeling fear right now. Maybe if I try hard enough I’d be able to feel it, but I’m not going to look for it. No, I prefer this anger right now,this blood-red hatred flowing through my entire being right now. Flowing through all of us:Jeremy the lawyer, Larry the redneck mechanic, Jesus the farm worker, me the office worker, and the rest of the platoon. Every time I remember our past occupations it feels like the start of one of those “such and such individuals walk into a bar..” joke, but right now, as we wait in this solemn silence, we know we are brothers, regardless of our nationality, our race, or our past careers. Knowing this is going to make it a whole lot harder when we have to see each other die, whether it’s holding them in our arms as they cry while bleeding in pain, hundreds of miles away from their wives, their mothers, and their children, or whether they are randomly fetched away by one of them winged bastards only to be seen in later, decapitated and sticking out of a pole. Neither of them gets any easier, but we want vengeance, victory, and to get rid of these demons. If we are being honest, we all want vengeance more than anything. We all have our reasons for it, whether it was the rape by the demons, the unspeakable atrocities witnessed by each of us, or the horrible mind games they all played on the young ones. We don’t really speak out it. We don’t want to remember, but that’s all we do as we grip our knives and guns tighter and tighter, as we look at the ground with tears coming out of our anger filled eyes, as we grit our teeth while we wait for another battle. First time writer. Any type of constructive feedback is welcome and appreciated.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Torsdag, Dey 02, 2021, at precisely 14:59:59 Greenwich Mean Time was the last moment of the common era. The following second, 40 black gateways opened around the planet and the era of Terra Satanica began. The demonic armies of Hell spilled out into the Earth like fire locusts and burned the ancient cities of humanity to ash in seven days. Our weapons, though not useless, were pitifully inadequate for the sheer numbers that Hell threw at us. Pan Reich historians estimate that over 6.5 billion met their first death during the invasion. Three hundred fifty million were enslaved on Earth in the following weeks and by the new year, only 150 million free souls remained. To call them "free" is taking some liberties with the history. They existed within a literal hell-scape of ruin, smoke and putrescent death, scurrying through the rubble and into the sewers and hills to avoid the demonic slaving squads that scoured cities in search of fodder for their death camps. Those who made it to the forests, hills, tundra, deserts and other wild areas lived off garbage and what they could gather from the land. The eight months that followed were what came to be known as the Black Eight. Disease, starvation and cannibalism were rampant. Those who survived the Black Eight did so because they were the strongest and the most ruthless of those around them. Life became a nightmare for the survivors and Humanity's number dwindled to the lowest it had been since the Paleolithic bombardment. For someone living amongst the 72 billion of the Pan Reich that now populates the SolSys, it may seem hard to imagine, but Hell had all but beaten man-kind. It was in Julian of the following year, 2022, that humanity struck back. Detailed accounts of what actually happened are unclear. Most who were there will tell you though, that it was an American woman, one "Barbara Villante," who saved us. A skirmish party in what had been the Southern United States ambushed the demons guarding the Atlanta Hell Mouth and overpowered them, allowing Miss Villante to enter Hell. What she did once inside is unclear. Villante never returned. However, it was 48 hours later, that the fallen armies of Earth began to march out through all 40 Hell-gates across the planet. Legions of Nazis, Romans, Mongols, Vikings, Persians, Spartans, Saracens and every other past scourge of humanity spilled out onto the demon-infested Earth and fell upon the demonic overlords like white blood cells devouring a cancer. We now know that Hell exists in a universe parallel to our own where time, among other things, works in ways...I'll just say in ways we here in the SolSys aren't used to. I won't tell you more for fear of ruining what will surely be a formative experience for the lot of you. You'll all find out exactly what I'm talking about on this, your culling day, just as every other little soul has found out before you. Yes Johnny? Well of course I can explain. On your culling day, your family will gather and throw you a party, whereupon your little throat will be cut in the culling ceremony that every brave little human monster must undergo. I know it's scary but your parents will be there to greet you at the hell mouth when you re-emerge after your stint in Camp Seventh Layer just as your parents did and just as their parents did before them. Ah! Here are the first parents now.	As I sit in this car I realize that I should be feeling fear right now. Maybe if I try hard enough I’d be able to feel it, but I’m not going to look for it. No, I prefer this anger right now,this blood-red hatred flowing through my entire being right now. Flowing through all of us:Jeremy the lawyer, Larry the redneck mechanic, Jesus the farm worker, me the office worker, and the rest of the platoon. Every time I remember our past occupations it feels like the start of one of those “such and such individuals walk into a bar..” joke, but right now, as we wait in this solemn silence, we know we are brothers, regardless of our nationality, our race, or our past careers. Knowing this is going to make it a whole lot harder when we have to see each other die, whether it’s holding them in our arms as they cry while bleeding in pain, hundreds of miles away from their wives, their mothers, and their children, or whether they are randomly fetched away by one of them winged bastards only to be seen in later, decapitated and sticking out of a pole. Neither of them gets any easier, but we want vengeance, victory, and to get rid of these demons. If we are being honest, we all want vengeance more than anything. We all have our reasons for it, whether it was the rape by the demons, the unspeakable atrocities witnessed by each of us, or the horrible mind games they all played on the young ones. We don’t really speak out it. We don’t want to remember, but that’s all we do as we grip our knives and guns tighter and tighter, as we look at the ground with tears coming out of our anger filled eyes, as we grit our teeth while we wait for another battle. First time writer. Any type of constructive feedback is welcome and appreciated.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	We didn't win. That's the first thing you have to understand is that in the hellfire and destruction that began on April 21, 2021, we did not win. How could we? They brought holy might and abominations. Stuff of legends. Biblical. Apocalyptic. Name it, they had it. We fell like dominoes, our spines mere matchsticks in their hands. Our planes were struck from the air. Our tanks used as hammers against our inept rage. But our wills were light to pierce the deepest darkness, for we had one thing they did not. We had numbers. Angels do not breed. So then does it follow that The Fallen don't either. And those two forces have been fighting for a millennium and growing ever smaller on both sides. They only ceased because the demons disengaged. Because they noticed something. We were vulnerable. We were a a world divided into hundreds of individual countries. Different ideals. Different religions. We had no collective army. We were too busy throwing ourselves at each other to unify. Who could resist such a delectable treat? And so they came in their hundreds. A single Fallen could kill a regiment. 5 could destroy a city. 10 took out North Korea in it's entirety. But for every one we felled, it was one less against us. Killing a Fallen was a major victory. And slowly, we thinned the herd. Don't get me wrong, it took work. Our countries were barely united, reluctantly cooperating to destroy this threat to our world even as politicians and spies tried to take advantage of loosened security and scientists worked to create a new armor and new weapons for a new age. But the frontline were as brothers. There is no time to hate man for what his superiors are doing when at any moment he might have to save your life. And with our brothers we lay into the Fallen with everything we had. Soon enough, the last 97 Fallen were fleeing, leaving behind a world tainted and broken. Now I find myself standing on the edge of a black hole in the ground. A hole that swallows light itself greedily, as though trying to consume the sun a single ray at a time. This is where they came from and this is to be their tomb. We have men and weapons enough to destroy whatever remains, and trucks on call to come and loot anything we can find. Anything to pull us forward and repair the damage that was done. We've cried all our tears. We've said all our prayers. Whether we survive our march through Hell is up to God himself. Let Operation Purgatory commence.	As I sit in this car I realize that I should be feeling fear right now. Maybe if I try hard enough I’d be able to feel it, but I’m not going to look for it. No, I prefer this anger right now,this blood-red hatred flowing through my entire being right now. Flowing through all of us:Jeremy the lawyer, Larry the redneck mechanic, Jesus the farm worker, me the office worker, and the rest of the platoon. Every time I remember our past occupations it feels like the start of one of those “such and such individuals walk into a bar..” joke, but right now, as we wait in this solemn silence, we know we are brothers, regardless of our nationality, our race, or our past careers. Knowing this is going to make it a whole lot harder when we have to see each other die, whether it’s holding them in our arms as they cry while bleeding in pain, hundreds of miles away from their wives, their mothers, and their children, or whether they are randomly fetched away by one of them winged bastards only to be seen in later, decapitated and sticking out of a pole. Neither of them gets any easier, but we want vengeance, victory, and to get rid of these demons. If we are being honest, we all want vengeance more than anything. We all have our reasons for it, whether it was the rape by the demons, the unspeakable atrocities witnessed by each of us, or the horrible mind games they all played on the young ones. We don’t really speak out it. We don’t want to remember, but that’s all we do as we grip our knives and guns tighter and tighter, as we look at the ground with tears coming out of our anger filled eyes, as we grit our teeth while we wait for another battle. First time writer. Any type of constructive feedback is welcome and appreciated.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"Sir, the heat is more intense than we anticipated, we could harness the very fires of hell for unlimited energy! Fossil fuels will be a thing of the past!" The professor exclaimed. "Then we shall prepare to invade. However this is their turf, we need preperation." Replied the President,"Hell believes there to be the mightiest flame of all, but the fire they have started on earth will spread across the plains of hell and turn to ash everything these demons claim to be their own." President Nixon walked to his desk and picked up the phone. "Gather our scientists," he said, as the professor opened the Oval Office door,"we need our drones to be able to withstand the heat, and we need to know if the signal can pass through that portal." "Right away Mr. President!" He said hurriedly. Nixon dialed the defense secretary, envisioning the glory of being the conqueror of hell itself. "Mr. President" he heard, returning his attention to the task at hand. "We have driven the Hellspawn back into their holes, but they will return. We must cut the head from the snake and burn the remains." He said confidently. "Are you suggesting we follow them to the depths of hell? Follishne-" the secretary of defense began. "I am suggesting we take the depths of hell out from under their feet, and declare it the property of the human race!" Nixon interrupted, followed by a thick silence. "You're right Mr. President. We will begin preperation." He replied. March 17th, 2022. Private Terry Dillon As construction of Fort Gabriel neared it's end, a certain dread fell over us. Although most of the fighting would be done with drones, we knew many of us would not survive. I was working for a security company in Israel when the first portal ripped open, ground zero. It was like the throat of reality had been slit, and bled a pool of demons. And now here I am, first of the humans to walk the ashen grounds, breathing the soot filled air. The first in line to die if the hell spawn were to learn of the portal we kept open. It's been 2 months and 4 days, with no sign of the enemy. Our drones cover a 5 mile area, so we will know when they have. My shift is coming. Tonight, I face the void again. I pray it doesn't devour me first, then again, are prayers even heard from the depths of hell? If I die here, will I become one of them? I guess I could be a spy if so. "Who would have thought I would be fighting along side an American pig?" Azim said with disdain. "Watch your mouth terrorist, we are surrounded by demons and the captain wouldn't question if you don't come back." Tyler replied aggressively tilting his rifle in Azim's direction," we're alone here, and I don't expect survival or paradise, so it would be my final pleasure to end you." They could hear the screech of a hell spawn, and knew that meant more of their comrades had been found. "We move now pig, quickly." Azim whispered. Tyler peaked over the boulder they hid behind, and say one of their beasts. The size of a building, it scanned the ground for more victims from the blood-red sky. With a gesture, they retreated. Stalking away close to the ground, they kept behind every crevice large enough to hide them. For an hour they moved slowly, until there was no sign of the army of hell. "We are clear, but I don't recognize this area. We are lost it would seem." Tyler stated, searching the distance for one of the landmarks on his map. "Fantastic, we should have just let them kill us back there, at least it's better than starving out here," complained Azim,"we need to plan for our rations, these plants are probably just as vile as the demons." "You split that up, I'm going to see if I can fix the compass," Tyler said,"it was fried when we were ambushed. Though it'd be nice if an actual compass, give me your radio, we may be able to salvage whatever is broken." "Take it," he replied,"I will show the area first. Give me the map, we'll need at least a home field advantage of they find us before you finish." They traded the map and radio as Azim began walking away, and Tyler pulled out his knife and pried the radio open. The heatsuits would only last three days, and they wouldn't last long in the burning wasteland without them. Time was ticking. "One good thing about hell is we can cook on these rocks" Azim said, watching the "quality rations" sizzling on the boulder. "So the glass is half full after all." Replied Tyler in a snarky voice. He had spent hours trying to use the radio scrap to fix the electonic compass, which points to the portal's direction. "Hah! I'm a genius, it works!" Tyler exclaimed. The compass lot up and pointed behind them. "Let us go now." replied Azim. Without another word they set off. Hours later they saw a tower in the distance. "That is not Gabriel." Azim said,"but that is a tower. We may have made a mistake." "Mistake or not, there is a portal in there. Which means we missed one, and nobody else could possibly know." Tyler said slowly, hands shaking. "We have to go in there." He continued. Both with pale faces and tight chests,"without a clear path to Fort Gabriel, it's our only way out." "Can we even make it? Our suits only have two days of power left. You would think they could have made these things power off of the heat of this shithole." Azim said. "You know those bastards are always a step behind" Tyler replied. The hours drug on as the two made their way to the ominous tower. The closer they got, the more threatening the tower seemed. Finally, they approached a cliff, and saw a twisted city surrounding the blood red tower. "Any ideas sand man?" Tyler asked. "I thought you were the genius Yankee doodle." Azim replied. They could see demons crowding the streets. "We need a closer look," Aziz thought aloud,"demons where armor, maybe we can find some." "Sounds like a plan, let's find a clear path, good thing there aren't any walls, let's try there first." Tyler said. "Sounds good Captain America." Aziz remarked. They searched out a path down the cliff and headed for the city of demons. Soldiers from all nationalities gathered in Fort Gabriel, drones by the hundreds of thousands piled high on the earth side of the portal, the armies of the world gathered in Nevada. "General, we are preparing our expanse, the drones are charged and our pilots are ready." The soldier explained. "Have the tanks been fitted with the heat resistant armor?"asked General Hampton. "We have a few hundred finished and ready, but it will take time to finish them all." The soldier replied. "Any new intel on enemy positions?" Hampton asked. "Sergeant Roberts has a report prepared in the Fort and requests you meet with him shortly." "I'll cross over now, inform General Pratt." The General crossed through the portal and made his way to the command center. Passing, he observed men and women scrambling to prepare the air and land drones, moving tanks into position, and lining up at the gates. As he approached the door, Sergeant Roberts opened it and invited him in. "General, we will begin our first wave when the cyborg platoon arrives," Roberts began,"we've sent many scouts and drones to scout out a location for construction of Fort Raziel. We've had resistance, and lost many men, but we have a location, and hellspawn have yet to pinpoint our location. They know we are here. Soon they will know we are to be feared." "And the Davey Crockets?" Hampton asked. "Sir they are prepared for launch." Roberts answered. "Good. Satan will know hell fire crafted by humanity. I've always wanted to see a nuke up close, we need to find where horde hides." Replied Hampton. Not enough time to keep going, how was it?	As I sit in this car I realize that I should be feeling fear right now. Maybe if I try hard enough I’d be able to feel it, but I’m not going to look for it. No, I prefer this anger right now,this blood-red hatred flowing through my entire being right now. Flowing through all of us:Jeremy the lawyer, Larry the redneck mechanic, Jesus the farm worker, me the office worker, and the rest of the platoon. Every time I remember our past occupations it feels like the start of one of those “such and such individuals walk into a bar..” joke, but right now, as we wait in this solemn silence, we know we are brothers, regardless of our nationality, our race, or our past careers. Knowing this is going to make it a whole lot harder when we have to see each other die, whether it’s holding them in our arms as they cry while bleeding in pain, hundreds of miles away from their wives, their mothers, and their children, or whether they are randomly fetched away by one of them winged bastards only to be seen in later, decapitated and sticking out of a pole. Neither of them gets any easier, but we want vengeance, victory, and to get rid of these demons. If we are being honest, we all want vengeance more than anything. We all have our reasons for it, whether it was the rape by the demons, the unspeakable atrocities witnessed by each of us, or the horrible mind games they all played on the young ones. We don’t really speak out it. We don’t want to remember, but that’s all we do as we grip our knives and guns tighter and tighter, as we look at the ground with tears coming out of our anger filled eyes, as we grit our teeth while we wait for another battle. First time writer. Any type of constructive feedback is welcome and appreciated.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	As I sit in this car I realize that I should be feeling fear right now. Maybe if I try hard enough I’d be able to feel it, but I’m not going to look for it. No, I prefer this anger right now,this blood-red hatred flowing through my entire being right now. Flowing through all of us:Jeremy the lawyer, Larry the redneck mechanic, Jesus the farm worker, me the office worker, and the rest of the platoon. Every time I remember our past occupations it feels like the start of one of those “such and such individuals walk into a bar..” joke, but right now, as we wait in this solemn silence, we know we are brothers, regardless of our nationality, our race, or our past careers. Knowing this is going to make it a whole lot harder when we have to see each other die, whether it’s holding them in our arms as they cry while bleeding in pain, hundreds of miles away from their wives, their mothers, and their children, or whether they are randomly fetched away by one of them winged bastards only to be seen in later, decapitated and sticking out of a pole. Neither of them gets any easier, but we want vengeance, victory, and to get rid of these demons. If we are being honest, we all want vengeance more than anything. We all have our reasons for it, whether it was the rape by the demons, the unspeakable atrocities witnessed by each of us, or the horrible mind games they all played on the young ones. We don’t really speak out it. We don’t want to remember, but that’s all we do as we grip our knives and guns tighter and tighter, as we look at the ground with tears coming out of our anger filled eyes, as we grit our teeth while we wait for another battle. First time writer. Any type of constructive feedback is welcome and appreciated.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	We didn't win. That's the first thing you have to understand is that in the hellfire and destruction that began on April 21, 2021, we did not win. How could we? They brought holy might and abominations. Stuff of legends. Biblical. Apocalyptic. Name it, they had it. We fell like dominoes, our spines mere matchsticks in their hands. Our planes were struck from the air. Our tanks used as hammers against our inept rage. But our wills were light to pierce the deepest darkness, for we had one thing they did not. We had numbers. Angels do not breed. So then does it follow that The Fallen don't either. And those two forces have been fighting for a millennium and growing ever smaller on both sides. They only ceased because the demons disengaged. Because they noticed something. We were vulnerable. We were a a world divided into hundreds of individual countries. Different ideals. Different religions. We had no collective army. We were too busy throwing ourselves at each other to unify. Who could resist such a delectable treat? And so they came in their hundreds. A single Fallen could kill a regiment. 5 could destroy a city. 10 took out North Korea in it's entirety. But for every one we felled, it was one less against us. Killing a Fallen was a major victory. And slowly, we thinned the herd. Don't get me wrong, it took work. Our countries were barely united, reluctantly cooperating to destroy this threat to our world even as politicians and spies tried to take advantage of loosened security and scientists worked to create a new armor and new weapons for a new age. But the frontline were as brothers. There is no time to hate man for what his superiors are doing when at any moment he might have to save your life. And with our brothers we lay into the Fallen with everything we had. Soon enough, the last 97 Fallen were fleeing, leaving behind a world tainted and broken. Now I find myself standing on the edge of a black hole in the ground. A hole that swallows light itself greedily, as though trying to consume the sun a single ray at a time. This is where they came from and this is to be their tomb. We have men and weapons enough to destroy whatever remains, and trucks on call to come and loot anything we can find. Anything to pull us forward and repair the damage that was done. We've cried all our tears. We've said all our prayers. Whether we survive our march through Hell is up to God himself. Let Operation Purgatory commence.	Hi Guys, First WP from myself. This topic made me do an account and start writing in my original language. Feel free to translate or to suggest editions. Lo más fácil fue el primer contacto Nuestros mares empezaron a hervir, nuestros volcanes a erupcionar, incluso el cielo se tiñó de un tinto oscuro con una corriente inusual de ceniza que tapizó nuestros verdes valles de un gris muerto. El pánico causó estragos, es cierto, las apariciones de extrañas creaturas rojas con configuraciones inhumanas volvió loca a la población común, incluso se habla de un pequeño error de juicio que hizo desaparecer a Corea del Norte al hallarlo equívocamente responsable de estos atentados. (Perdón Corea, no nos arrepentimos tampoco). Pero si esto fue planeado durante milenios, planearon muy muy mal… Estábamos preparados para todo. Somos una especie que vive en constante guerra el uno con el otro, nos gusta la guerra, es parte fundamental de nuestro ADN, hacemos guerra por territorio, por dinero, por mujeres, por poder, diablos ahora que lo pienso somos ridículamente bélicos, hemos acribillado a nuestros propios hermanos para que entiendan que el camino que nosotros seguimos es el correcto para adorar a un Dios que promueve la Paz ante todo. Nuestros planes de contingencia entraron en marcha al primer contacto, se evacuaron las ciudades más cercanas a las brechas infernales que se abrieron a lo largo del globo. Se logró cerrar algunas y neutralizar las restantes, cada nuevo intento de penetrar nuestras defensas resultaba en una rápida respuesta de miles de soldados, tanques y aviones que terminaban regresando con el rabo entre las patas a las creaturas de piel rocosa roja y a aquellas otras bestias como perros con múltiples cabezas que ahora cuelgan de la pared de mi sala allá en la tierra como un trofeo exótico. Se les agradece hasta cierto punto su intervención, gracias a esta invasión nuestros gobiernos dejaron de pelear entre si y encontraron un frente común, lograron crear la paz en el mundo para desatar la guerra en el inframundo. Fue un error gigantesco atacarnos y mostrarnos que existían, mostrarnos que podían ser una amenaza para nuestro modo de vida y peor aún, mostrar que eran débiles. Lo realmente difícil fue invadir su territorio. Cada persona que enviábamos era remplazado por un ser de piel rojiza oscura con ojos de un brillante carmesí que ya no respondía a nuestros llamados, nuestros tanques no tripulados fueron víctimas del terreno irregular, nuestros drones fueron sucumbieron a las altas temperaturas. Duramos casi un año para descubrir lo que ahora me tiene sentado en este trono al rojo vivo en lo más profundo del infierno sobre un trasero que creí jamás volver a sentir, observando con un ojo azul y otro carmesí. Fuimos nosotros los inválidos en silla de ruedas o muletas, los que reciben un mísero descuento por todo lo que le ofrecimos a nuestra nación, aquellos viejos casi locos que se despiertan por la noche buscando una zanja donde esconderse o aquellos que lloran invariablemente cada que cierran los ojos porque ven a sus compañeros de pelotón morir una y otra vez. Los veteranos ya conocíamos el infierno mejor que nadie, esto fue un paseo por la pradera. En cuanto nuestro batallón entró a las fauces del infierno aquellas partes de nosotros que ya nos esperaban aquí acudieron a nosotros, muñones remplazados por extremidades rojizas, vacíos mentales sustituidos por hambre de venganza, hambre de guerra. Las miles de horas de entrenamiento hicieron tick como si hubiesen estado ahí siempre, reprimidas, esperando este momento. El infierno cayó en 6 días. No se encontraban preparados para esto, jamás pensaron que teníamos verdaderos demonios entre nuestras propias filas. -Memorias del Sargento Phoenix, El nuevo diablo. (format edits)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"Sir, the heat is more intense than we anticipated, we could harness the very fires of hell for unlimited energy! Fossil fuels will be a thing of the past!" The professor exclaimed. "Then we shall prepare to invade. However this is their turf, we need preperation." Replied the President,"Hell believes there to be the mightiest flame of all, but the fire they have started on earth will spread across the plains of hell and turn to ash everything these demons claim to be their own." President Nixon walked to his desk and picked up the phone. "Gather our scientists," he said, as the professor opened the Oval Office door,"we need our drones to be able to withstand the heat, and we need to know if the signal can pass through that portal." "Right away Mr. President!" He said hurriedly. Nixon dialed the defense secretary, envisioning the glory of being the conqueror of hell itself. "Mr. President" he heard, returning his attention to the task at hand. "We have driven the Hellspawn back into their holes, but they will return. We must cut the head from the snake and burn the remains." He said confidently. "Are you suggesting we follow them to the depths of hell? Follishne-" the secretary of defense began. "I am suggesting we take the depths of hell out from under their feet, and declare it the property of the human race!" Nixon interrupted, followed by a thick silence. "You're right Mr. President. We will begin preperation." He replied. March 17th, 2022. Private Terry Dillon As construction of Fort Gabriel neared it's end, a certain dread fell over us. Although most of the fighting would be done with drones, we knew many of us would not survive. I was working for a security company in Israel when the first portal ripped open, ground zero. It was like the throat of reality had been slit, and bled a pool of demons. And now here I am, first of the humans to walk the ashen grounds, breathing the soot filled air. The first in line to die if the hell spawn were to learn of the portal we kept open. It's been 2 months and 4 days, with no sign of the enemy. Our drones cover a 5 mile area, so we will know when they have. My shift is coming. Tonight, I face the void again. I pray it doesn't devour me first, then again, are prayers even heard from the depths of hell? If I die here, will I become one of them? I guess I could be a spy if so. "Who would have thought I would be fighting along side an American pig?" Azim said with disdain. "Watch your mouth terrorist, we are surrounded by demons and the captain wouldn't question if you don't come back." Tyler replied aggressively tilting his rifle in Azim's direction," we're alone here, and I don't expect survival or paradise, so it would be my final pleasure to end you." They could hear the screech of a hell spawn, and knew that meant more of their comrades had been found. "We move now pig, quickly." Azim whispered. Tyler peaked over the boulder they hid behind, and say one of their beasts. The size of a building, it scanned the ground for more victims from the blood-red sky. With a gesture, they retreated. Stalking away close to the ground, they kept behind every crevice large enough to hide them. For an hour they moved slowly, until there was no sign of the army of hell. "We are clear, but I don't recognize this area. We are lost it would seem." Tyler stated, searching the distance for one of the landmarks on his map. "Fantastic, we should have just let them kill us back there, at least it's better than starving out here," complained Azim,"we need to plan for our rations, these plants are probably just as vile as the demons." "You split that up, I'm going to see if I can fix the compass," Tyler said,"it was fried when we were ambushed. Though it'd be nice if an actual compass, give me your radio, we may be able to salvage whatever is broken." "Take it," he replied,"I will show the area first. Give me the map, we'll need at least a home field advantage of they find us before you finish." They traded the map and radio as Azim began walking away, and Tyler pulled out his knife and pried the radio open. The heatsuits would only last three days, and they wouldn't last long in the burning wasteland without them. Time was ticking. "One good thing about hell is we can cook on these rocks" Azim said, watching the "quality rations" sizzling on the boulder. "So the glass is half full after all." Replied Tyler in a snarky voice. He had spent hours trying to use the radio scrap to fix the electonic compass, which points to the portal's direction. "Hah! I'm a genius, it works!" Tyler exclaimed. The compass lot up and pointed behind them. "Let us go now." replied Azim. Without another word they set off. Hours later they saw a tower in the distance. "That is not Gabriel." Azim said,"but that is a tower. We may have made a mistake." "Mistake or not, there is a portal in there. Which means we missed one, and nobody else could possibly know." Tyler said slowly, hands shaking. "We have to go in there." He continued. Both with pale faces and tight chests,"without a clear path to Fort Gabriel, it's our only way out." "Can we even make it? Our suits only have two days of power left. You would think they could have made these things power off of the heat of this shithole." Azim said. "You know those bastards are always a step behind" Tyler replied. The hours drug on as the two made their way to the ominous tower. The closer they got, the more threatening the tower seemed. Finally, they approached a cliff, and saw a twisted city surrounding the blood red tower. "Any ideas sand man?" Tyler asked. "I thought you were the genius Yankee doodle." Azim replied. They could see demons crowding the streets. "We need a closer look," Aziz thought aloud,"demons where armor, maybe we can find some." "Sounds like a plan, let's find a clear path, good thing there aren't any walls, let's try there first." Tyler said. "Sounds good Captain America." Aziz remarked. They searched out a path down the cliff and headed for the city of demons. Soldiers from all nationalities gathered in Fort Gabriel, drones by the hundreds of thousands piled high on the earth side of the portal, the armies of the world gathered in Nevada. "General, we are preparing our expanse, the drones are charged and our pilots are ready." The soldier explained. "Have the tanks been fitted with the heat resistant armor?"asked General Hampton. "We have a few hundred finished and ready, but it will take time to finish them all." The soldier replied. "Any new intel on enemy positions?" Hampton asked. "Sergeant Roberts has a report prepared in the Fort and requests you meet with him shortly." "I'll cross over now, inform General Pratt." The General crossed through the portal and made his way to the command center. Passing, he observed men and women scrambling to prepare the air and land drones, moving tanks into position, and lining up at the gates. As he approached the door, Sergeant Roberts opened it and invited him in. "General, we will begin our first wave when the cyborg platoon arrives," Roberts began,"we've sent many scouts and drones to scout out a location for construction of Fort Raziel. We've had resistance, and lost many men, but we have a location, and hellspawn have yet to pinpoint our location. They know we are here. Soon they will know we are to be feared." "And the Davey Crockets?" Hampton asked. "Sir they are prepared for launch." Roberts answered. "Good. Satan will know hell fire crafted by humanity. I've always wanted to see a nuke up close, we need to find where horde hides." Replied Hampton. Not enough time to keep going, how was it?	Hi Guys, First WP from myself. This topic made me do an account and start writing in my original language. Feel free to translate or to suggest editions. Lo más fácil fue el primer contacto Nuestros mares empezaron a hervir, nuestros volcanes a erupcionar, incluso el cielo se tiñó de un tinto oscuro con una corriente inusual de ceniza que tapizó nuestros verdes valles de un gris muerto. El pánico causó estragos, es cierto, las apariciones de extrañas creaturas rojas con configuraciones inhumanas volvió loca a la población común, incluso se habla de un pequeño error de juicio que hizo desaparecer a Corea del Norte al hallarlo equívocamente responsable de estos atentados. (Perdón Corea, no nos arrepentimos tampoco). Pero si esto fue planeado durante milenios, planearon muy muy mal… Estábamos preparados para todo. Somos una especie que vive en constante guerra el uno con el otro, nos gusta la guerra, es parte fundamental de nuestro ADN, hacemos guerra por territorio, por dinero, por mujeres, por poder, diablos ahora que lo pienso somos ridículamente bélicos, hemos acribillado a nuestros propios hermanos para que entiendan que el camino que nosotros seguimos es el correcto para adorar a un Dios que promueve la Paz ante todo. Nuestros planes de contingencia entraron en marcha al primer contacto, se evacuaron las ciudades más cercanas a las brechas infernales que se abrieron a lo largo del globo. Se logró cerrar algunas y neutralizar las restantes, cada nuevo intento de penetrar nuestras defensas resultaba en una rápida respuesta de miles de soldados, tanques y aviones que terminaban regresando con el rabo entre las patas a las creaturas de piel rocosa roja y a aquellas otras bestias como perros con múltiples cabezas que ahora cuelgan de la pared de mi sala allá en la tierra como un trofeo exótico. Se les agradece hasta cierto punto su intervención, gracias a esta invasión nuestros gobiernos dejaron de pelear entre si y encontraron un frente común, lograron crear la paz en el mundo para desatar la guerra en el inframundo. Fue un error gigantesco atacarnos y mostrarnos que existían, mostrarnos que podían ser una amenaza para nuestro modo de vida y peor aún, mostrar que eran débiles. Lo realmente difícil fue invadir su territorio. Cada persona que enviábamos era remplazado por un ser de piel rojiza oscura con ojos de un brillante carmesí que ya no respondía a nuestros llamados, nuestros tanques no tripulados fueron víctimas del terreno irregular, nuestros drones fueron sucumbieron a las altas temperaturas. Duramos casi un año para descubrir lo que ahora me tiene sentado en este trono al rojo vivo en lo más profundo del infierno sobre un trasero que creí jamás volver a sentir, observando con un ojo azul y otro carmesí. Fuimos nosotros los inválidos en silla de ruedas o muletas, los que reciben un mísero descuento por todo lo que le ofrecimos a nuestra nación, aquellos viejos casi locos que se despiertan por la noche buscando una zanja donde esconderse o aquellos que lloran invariablemente cada que cierran los ojos porque ven a sus compañeros de pelotón morir una y otra vez. Los veteranos ya conocíamos el infierno mejor que nadie, esto fue un paseo por la pradera. En cuanto nuestro batallón entró a las fauces del infierno aquellas partes de nosotros que ya nos esperaban aquí acudieron a nosotros, muñones remplazados por extremidades rojizas, vacíos mentales sustituidos por hambre de venganza, hambre de guerra. Las miles de horas de entrenamiento hicieron tick como si hubiesen estado ahí siempre, reprimidas, esperando este momento. El infierno cayó en 6 días. No se encontraban preparados para esto, jamás pensaron que teníamos verdaderos demonios entre nuestras propias filas. -Memorias del Sargento Phoenix, El nuevo diablo. (format edits)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	We didn't win. That's the first thing you have to understand is that in the hellfire and destruction that began on April 21, 2021, we did not win. How could we? They brought holy might and abominations. Stuff of legends. Biblical. Apocalyptic. Name it, they had it. We fell like dominoes, our spines mere matchsticks in their hands. Our planes were struck from the air. Our tanks used as hammers against our inept rage. But our wills were light to pierce the deepest darkness, for we had one thing they did not. We had numbers. Angels do not breed. So then does it follow that The Fallen don't either. And those two forces have been fighting for a millennium and growing ever smaller on both sides. They only ceased because the demons disengaged. Because they noticed something. We were vulnerable. We were a a world divided into hundreds of individual countries. Different ideals. Different religions. We had no collective army. We were too busy throwing ourselves at each other to unify. Who could resist such a delectable treat? And so they came in their hundreds. A single Fallen could kill a regiment. 5 could destroy a city. 10 took out North Korea in it's entirety. But for every one we felled, it was one less against us. Killing a Fallen was a major victory. And slowly, we thinned the herd. Don't get me wrong, it took work. Our countries were barely united, reluctantly cooperating to destroy this threat to our world even as politicians and spies tried to take advantage of loosened security and scientists worked to create a new armor and new weapons for a new age. But the frontline were as brothers. There is no time to hate man for what his superiors are doing when at any moment he might have to save your life. And with our brothers we lay into the Fallen with everything we had. Soon enough, the last 97 Fallen were fleeing, leaving behind a world tainted and broken. Now I find myself standing on the edge of a black hole in the ground. A hole that swallows light itself greedily, as though trying to consume the sun a single ray at a time. This is where they came from and this is to be their tomb. We have men and weapons enough to destroy whatever remains, and trucks on call to come and loot anything we can find. Anything to pull us forward and repair the damage that was done. We've cried all our tears. We've said all our prayers. Whether we survive our march through Hell is up to God himself. Let Operation Purgatory commence.	"we did it!" Dr. Mandrake shouted as she rushed into The General's office. The General turned from his advisors, holding up a hand to silence them. His bright blue eyes locked on the physicist. The gaze always left her a little unsettled, with his blue eyes clashing with his dusky skin. "you did what?" the General asked, his mouth quirking into a grin that did not reach his eyes. "We cracked the last equation! We know exactly how the demons and angels are creating portals onto earth! And best of all, we can do it too!" Mandrake was too excited to hold her composure. This time the General's grin did touch his eyes, setting them alight with glee. "Excellent!" he said, "Begin final construction on the portal." The General could barely hear the acknowledgement. Visions on the future spun through his head. All the armies of mankind, laying waste to Heaven and Hell. He turned to look out the window, staring out the 19th story of the citadel erected on what used to be Area 51. Outside, he could see thousands of troops, tanks, planes, and drones. Only a fraction of the forces under his command. "They thought they could use the Earth as a battleground." He said, to no one in particular. "But they learned how far we've come. And we've learned even more from them. Soon it will be mortals ruling in Heaven and Hell. And after that? Who knows. With this portal technology, there are billions of world out there in the universe just waiting to be conquered. "
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"Sir, the heat is more intense than we anticipated, we could harness the very fires of hell for unlimited energy! Fossil fuels will be a thing of the past!" The professor exclaimed. "Then we shall prepare to invade. However this is their turf, we need preperation." Replied the President,"Hell believes there to be the mightiest flame of all, but the fire they have started on earth will spread across the plains of hell and turn to ash everything these demons claim to be their own." President Nixon walked to his desk and picked up the phone. "Gather our scientists," he said, as the professor opened the Oval Office door,"we need our drones to be able to withstand the heat, and we need to know if the signal can pass through that portal." "Right away Mr. President!" He said hurriedly. Nixon dialed the defense secretary, envisioning the glory of being the conqueror of hell itself. "Mr. President" he heard, returning his attention to the task at hand. "We have driven the Hellspawn back into their holes, but they will return. We must cut the head from the snake and burn the remains." He said confidently. "Are you suggesting we follow them to the depths of hell? Follishne-" the secretary of defense began. "I am suggesting we take the depths of hell out from under their feet, and declare it the property of the human race!" Nixon interrupted, followed by a thick silence. "You're right Mr. President. We will begin preperation." He replied. March 17th, 2022. Private Terry Dillon As construction of Fort Gabriel neared it's end, a certain dread fell over us. Although most of the fighting would be done with drones, we knew many of us would not survive. I was working for a security company in Israel when the first portal ripped open, ground zero. It was like the throat of reality had been slit, and bled a pool of demons. And now here I am, first of the humans to walk the ashen grounds, breathing the soot filled air. The first in line to die if the hell spawn were to learn of the portal we kept open. It's been 2 months and 4 days, with no sign of the enemy. Our drones cover a 5 mile area, so we will know when they have. My shift is coming. Tonight, I face the void again. I pray it doesn't devour me first, then again, are prayers even heard from the depths of hell? If I die here, will I become one of them? I guess I could be a spy if so. "Who would have thought I would be fighting along side an American pig?" Azim said with disdain. "Watch your mouth terrorist, we are surrounded by demons and the captain wouldn't question if you don't come back." Tyler replied aggressively tilting his rifle in Azim's direction," we're alone here, and I don't expect survival or paradise, so it would be my final pleasure to end you." They could hear the screech of a hell spawn, and knew that meant more of their comrades had been found. "We move now pig, quickly." Azim whispered. Tyler peaked over the boulder they hid behind, and say one of their beasts. The size of a building, it scanned the ground for more victims from the blood-red sky. With a gesture, they retreated. Stalking away close to the ground, they kept behind every crevice large enough to hide them. For an hour they moved slowly, until there was no sign of the army of hell. "We are clear, but I don't recognize this area. We are lost it would seem." Tyler stated, searching the distance for one of the landmarks on his map. "Fantastic, we should have just let them kill us back there, at least it's better than starving out here," complained Azim,"we need to plan for our rations, these plants are probably just as vile as the demons." "You split that up, I'm going to see if I can fix the compass," Tyler said,"it was fried when we were ambushed. Though it'd be nice if an actual compass, give me your radio, we may be able to salvage whatever is broken." "Take it," he replied,"I will show the area first. Give me the map, we'll need at least a home field advantage of they find us before you finish." They traded the map and radio as Azim began walking away, and Tyler pulled out his knife and pried the radio open. The heatsuits would only last three days, and they wouldn't last long in the burning wasteland without them. Time was ticking. "One good thing about hell is we can cook on these rocks" Azim said, watching the "quality rations" sizzling on the boulder. "So the glass is half full after all." Replied Tyler in a snarky voice. He had spent hours trying to use the radio scrap to fix the electonic compass, which points to the portal's direction. "Hah! I'm a genius, it works!" Tyler exclaimed. The compass lot up and pointed behind them. "Let us go now." replied Azim. Without another word they set off. Hours later they saw a tower in the distance. "That is not Gabriel." Azim said,"but that is a tower. We may have made a mistake." "Mistake or not, there is a portal in there. Which means we missed one, and nobody else could possibly know." Tyler said slowly, hands shaking. "We have to go in there." He continued. Both with pale faces and tight chests,"without a clear path to Fort Gabriel, it's our only way out." "Can we even make it? Our suits only have two days of power left. You would think they could have made these things power off of the heat of this shithole." Azim said. "You know those bastards are always a step behind" Tyler replied. The hours drug on as the two made their way to the ominous tower. The closer they got, the more threatening the tower seemed. Finally, they approached a cliff, and saw a twisted city surrounding the blood red tower. "Any ideas sand man?" Tyler asked. "I thought you were the genius Yankee doodle." Azim replied. They could see demons crowding the streets. "We need a closer look," Aziz thought aloud,"demons where armor, maybe we can find some." "Sounds like a plan, let's find a clear path, good thing there aren't any walls, let's try there first." Tyler said. "Sounds good Captain America." Aziz remarked. They searched out a path down the cliff and headed for the city of demons. Soldiers from all nationalities gathered in Fort Gabriel, drones by the hundreds of thousands piled high on the earth side of the portal, the armies of the world gathered in Nevada. "General, we are preparing our expanse, the drones are charged and our pilots are ready." The soldier explained. "Have the tanks been fitted with the heat resistant armor?"asked General Hampton. "We have a few hundred finished and ready, but it will take time to finish them all." The soldier replied. "Any new intel on enemy positions?" Hampton asked. "Sergeant Roberts has a report prepared in the Fort and requests you meet with him shortly." "I'll cross over now, inform General Pratt." The General crossed through the portal and made his way to the command center. Passing, he observed men and women scrambling to prepare the air and land drones, moving tanks into position, and lining up at the gates. As he approached the door, Sergeant Roberts opened it and invited him in. "General, we will begin our first wave when the cyborg platoon arrives," Roberts began,"we've sent many scouts and drones to scout out a location for construction of Fort Raziel. We've had resistance, and lost many men, but we have a location, and hellspawn have yet to pinpoint our location. They know we are here. Soon they will know we are to be feared." "And the Davey Crockets?" Hampton asked. "Sir they are prepared for launch." Roberts answered. "Good. Satan will know hell fire crafted by humanity. I've always wanted to see a nuke up close, we need to find where horde hides." Replied Hampton. Not enough time to keep going, how was it?	"we did it!" Dr. Mandrake shouted as she rushed into The General's office. The General turned from his advisors, holding up a hand to silence them. His bright blue eyes locked on the physicist. The gaze always left her a little unsettled, with his blue eyes clashing with his dusky skin. "you did what?" the General asked, his mouth quirking into a grin that did not reach his eyes. "We cracked the last equation! We know exactly how the demons and angels are creating portals onto earth! And best of all, we can do it too!" Mandrake was too excited to hold her composure. This time the General's grin did touch his eyes, setting them alight with glee. "Excellent!" he said, "Begin final construction on the portal." The General could barely hear the acknowledgement. Visions on the future spun through his head. All the armies of mankind, laying waste to Heaven and Hell. He turned to look out the window, staring out the 19th story of the citadel erected on what used to be Area 51. Outside, he could see thousands of troops, tanks, planes, and drones. Only a fraction of the forces under his command. "They thought they could use the Earth as a battleground." He said, to no one in particular. "But they learned how far we've come. And we've learned even more from them. Soon it will be mortals ruling in Heaven and Hell. And after that? Who knows. With this portal technology, there are billions of world out there in the universe just waiting to be conquered. "
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"Sir, the heat is more intense than we anticipated, we could harness the very fires of hell for unlimited energy! Fossil fuels will be a thing of the past!" The professor exclaimed. "Then we shall prepare to invade. However this is their turf, we need preperation." Replied the President,"Hell believes there to be the mightiest flame of all, but the fire they have started on earth will spread across the plains of hell and turn to ash everything these demons claim to be their own." President Nixon walked to his desk and picked up the phone. "Gather our scientists," he said, as the professor opened the Oval Office door,"we need our drones to be able to withstand the heat, and we need to know if the signal can pass through that portal." "Right away Mr. President!" He said hurriedly. Nixon dialed the defense secretary, envisioning the glory of being the conqueror of hell itself. "Mr. President" he heard, returning his attention to the task at hand. "We have driven the Hellspawn back into their holes, but they will return. We must cut the head from the snake and burn the remains." He said confidently. "Are you suggesting we follow them to the depths of hell? Follishne-" the secretary of defense began. "I am suggesting we take the depths of hell out from under their feet, and declare it the property of the human race!" Nixon interrupted, followed by a thick silence. "You're right Mr. President. We will begin preperation." He replied. March 17th, 2022. Private Terry Dillon As construction of Fort Gabriel neared it's end, a certain dread fell over us. Although most of the fighting would be done with drones, we knew many of us would not survive. I was working for a security company in Israel when the first portal ripped open, ground zero. It was like the throat of reality had been slit, and bled a pool of demons. And now here I am, first of the humans to walk the ashen grounds, breathing the soot filled air. The first in line to die if the hell spawn were to learn of the portal we kept open. It's been 2 months and 4 days, with no sign of the enemy. Our drones cover a 5 mile area, so we will know when they have. My shift is coming. Tonight, I face the void again. I pray it doesn't devour me first, then again, are prayers even heard from the depths of hell? If I die here, will I become one of them? I guess I could be a spy if so. "Who would have thought I would be fighting along side an American pig?" Azim said with disdain. "Watch your mouth terrorist, we are surrounded by demons and the captain wouldn't question if you don't come back." Tyler replied aggressively tilting his rifle in Azim's direction," we're alone here, and I don't expect survival or paradise, so it would be my final pleasure to end you." They could hear the screech of a hell spawn, and knew that meant more of their comrades had been found. "We move now pig, quickly." Azim whispered. Tyler peaked over the boulder they hid behind, and say one of their beasts. The size of a building, it scanned the ground for more victims from the blood-red sky. With a gesture, they retreated. Stalking away close to the ground, they kept behind every crevice large enough to hide them. For an hour they moved slowly, until there was no sign of the army of hell. "We are clear, but I don't recognize this area. We are lost it would seem." Tyler stated, searching the distance for one of the landmarks on his map. "Fantastic, we should have just let them kill us back there, at least it's better than starving out here," complained Azim,"we need to plan for our rations, these plants are probably just as vile as the demons." "You split that up, I'm going to see if I can fix the compass," Tyler said,"it was fried when we were ambushed. Though it'd be nice if an actual compass, give me your radio, we may be able to salvage whatever is broken." "Take it," he replied,"I will show the area first. Give me the map, we'll need at least a home field advantage of they find us before you finish." They traded the map and radio as Azim began walking away, and Tyler pulled out his knife and pried the radio open. The heatsuits would only last three days, and they wouldn't last long in the burning wasteland without them. Time was ticking. "One good thing about hell is we can cook on these rocks" Azim said, watching the "quality rations" sizzling on the boulder. "So the glass is half full after all." Replied Tyler in a snarky voice. He had spent hours trying to use the radio scrap to fix the electonic compass, which points to the portal's direction. "Hah! I'm a genius, it works!" Tyler exclaimed. The compass lot up and pointed behind them. "Let us go now." replied Azim. Without another word they set off. Hours later they saw a tower in the distance. "That is not Gabriel." Azim said,"but that is a tower. We may have made a mistake." "Mistake or not, there is a portal in there. Which means we missed one, and nobody else could possibly know." Tyler said slowly, hands shaking. "We have to go in there." He continued. Both with pale faces and tight chests,"without a clear path to Fort Gabriel, it's our only way out." "Can we even make it? Our suits only have two days of power left. You would think they could have made these things power off of the heat of this shithole." Azim said. "You know those bastards are always a step behind" Tyler replied. The hours drug on as the two made their way to the ominous tower. The closer they got, the more threatening the tower seemed. Finally, they approached a cliff, and saw a twisted city surrounding the blood red tower. "Any ideas sand man?" Tyler asked. "I thought you were the genius Yankee doodle." Azim replied. They could see demons crowding the streets. "We need a closer look," Aziz thought aloud,"demons where armor, maybe we can find some." "Sounds like a plan, let's find a clear path, good thing there aren't any walls, let's try there first." Tyler said. "Sounds good Captain America." Aziz remarked. They searched out a path down the cliff and headed for the city of demons. Soldiers from all nationalities gathered in Fort Gabriel, drones by the hundreds of thousands piled high on the earth side of the portal, the armies of the world gathered in Nevada. "General, we are preparing our expanse, the drones are charged and our pilots are ready." The soldier explained. "Have the tanks been fitted with the heat resistant armor?"asked General Hampton. "We have a few hundred finished and ready, but it will take time to finish them all." The soldier replied. "Any new intel on enemy positions?" Hampton asked. "Sergeant Roberts has a report prepared in the Fort and requests you meet with him shortly." "I'll cross over now, inform General Pratt." The General crossed through the portal and made his way to the command center. Passing, he observed men and women scrambling to prepare the air and land drones, moving tanks into position, and lining up at the gates. As he approached the door, Sergeant Roberts opened it and invited him in. "General, we will begin our first wave when the cyborg platoon arrives," Roberts began,"we've sent many scouts and drones to scout out a location for construction of Fort Raziel. We've had resistance, and lost many men, but we have a location, and hellspawn have yet to pinpoint our location. They know we are here. Soon they will know we are to be feared." "And the Davey Crockets?" Hampton asked. "Sir they are prepared for launch." Roberts answered. "Good. Satan will know hell fire crafted by humanity. I've always wanted to see a nuke up close, we need to find where horde hides." Replied Hampton. Not enough time to keep going, how was it?	They thought they had us. They thought they could use the vilest of our dead to conquer and dominate us. After a year of bringing chaos and destruction to the world, of attacking with fire and smoke, they thought that we would cower in fear of our demons. They were wrong. Without civilian casualties take into account, what happened can't even be called a battle. The name Hell gained a new meaning when the entire human nuclear arsenal was relentlessly unloaded onto that small portal from which the demons crawled from. We didn't even stop halfway to check if it was working. By the time the fires died down, the silence was eerie, and a massive cloud of ash covered the demonic otherworldly planet in an instant. If the demons depended on heat from the nearby sun, they'd have to find another place to call home. As nuclear winter descended on Hell, the remaining demons learned a valuable lesson: Never tickle a sleeping dragon.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	They arrived last year. At first the reports were ignored. The Possessed were either crazy from the start or hopped up on drugs. The murders were the work of wild animals. Then the Overlords arrived and Hell on Earth could no longer be denied. The first year was a disaster every day. The mountain of dead, on the streets and in our homes, grew larger by the minute. The survivors either turned to prayer, cowered in whatever place they thought safe, or ended their life only to rise again as one of the Fallen. A year was all it took. A year to gather our senses. A year to get braver. A year to grow our strength. On the anniversary of the Rising, we attacked in full force. The Overlords were felled, their minions dispatched. The weight of the world's power, in unison, was flung at the enemy. There was no mercy. The culmination of our efforts was the launching of our nuclear weapons into the breaches. Hell had risen and we had beat it down. Earth is a quieter place now. A better place. We are safer. We are united.	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Zephriel was tired. It had been a year - a long, brutally taxing year - since the humans' moral fiber had eroded The Spheres enough for Hell to begin leaking over into Earth. The screams, the chaos - they had been exciting at first. But kill a few million humans, burn a few cities - there were always more of them. Each one the inheritor of generations of cleverness, ingenuity, ideas - - ideas, the little bastards had ideas! Zephriel sidestepped a gaggle of giggling highschoolers, ducking to get under one of the ubiquitous new street lamps that dotted the twisting avenues of his home. Former home; it was unfamiliar to him now. "Excuse..?" Zephriel looked down at the face of a Japanese businessman. The man patiently coughed and Zephriel realized he'd stepped into the man's path. He backpedaled, looking for a new avenue through the throng of laughing, praying, ogling humanity coursing through his beloved Hell. The businessman was soon lost in the press, and Zephriel gamely waded in - careful not to step on or smash the humans who came up to his knees. ------ Ideas. That's what had started all of this - - lawyers, scientists, politicians. They'd gotten in touch somehow, penetrated layers of the understood Hate and Rage and Malice and talked brass tacks at someone with Power. Power enough to get a message to the Big Cheese, the Morning Star. It had quickly snowballed from there; the rampaging hell-monsters were pacified or put down, rogue priests and fallen on both sides likewise. Malcontents and.. racists? No, speciests, had no place in the Unified Earth/Nethersphere Economic Zone. The UENEZ was a place where Daemonic power was exchanged for Earthly delights - - a gaggle of uniformly blonde European students practically skipped by, passing a pair of hellhound puppies between one-another like a hot-potato and upsetting Zephriel's reverie. He pulled his pointed ears down over his glower and turned the corner, nearing his destination. Earthly delights. Fruit! Manicures! Saunas! Zephriel was particularly fond of durian and Swedish massage, but you didn't see him making deals for souls in exclusive exchange for stinky spiked orbs or afternoons with Liam. It seemed uncouth now that it was the humans flooding hell with earwax and drops of virgin blood, propelling the demonic economy into the 21st century. True rarities (you had to be over 18 or 10,0000 to make any deals, as per UENEZ regulations) like virgin blood or an honest smile were in high demand, whereas Zephriel's collection of Maidens' Ecstatic Whimpers was quickly depreciating. Ideas! -- Zephriel disliked offices. In the twentieth century, as mortal power was more and more concentrated in these places he'd had to spend a necessary amount of time in them, but.. he still preferred the old Way. A circle, chanting, perhaps some blood. This was too.. stiff. The androgynous figure behind the desk struck him as odd immediately - not for the androgyny, but its poise. Humans had quickly adapted to take in the various physiologies of the Netherworld, but they weren't usually so damn smug looking about it. "Mister.. Zephriel?" THAT IS CORRECT. "Welcome to UENEZ processing, stage 1. Apologies for our tardiness in processing your case - alphabets are not always fair. Any questions or concerns you have may be fielded by our front desk, which you passed on the way in. Let's get down to it, shall we? It says here on this form that you've control over northern gales and are also wont to "visit maidens in their night's sleep." That's correct, is it?" IN GENERAL TERMS, YES. "Well I've got some global shipping concerns and airlines who have an offer of.. it averages out to about two hundred offerings per day, delivered quarterly, in exchange for your work with them in the northern hemisphere." T- TWO HUNDR- ER. I MEAN. OF COURSE, AS IS MY DUE. Two hundred offerings per day?? Zephriel hadn't received two thousand offerings in the course of his existence, and here they intended to give him that in a little over a week! Zephriel's world spun for a moment. "And, sir/madam, there is also here.. an, erm, more delicate item. A queue of.. ah.. maidens that have submitted their names to the Visitations registry. Under the category.. indecent. That is to say, their full consent is given, as stipulated in UENEZ inter-species associations, for varying degrees of.. friendly interaction." This at least flustered the bureaucrat. Zephriel was hardly less abashed. MAIDEN.. REGISTRY? "That is correct, sir/madam. If you find these terms unacceptable, the exit to your right leads to the Void Gate, and you can take your arguments up with a direct representative of the Morning Star prior to your dissolution in the Ether. If you wish to go that route, fill out these two forms.." - the forms were slid across the otherwise pristine desk - "..and be sure to mention your level of satisfaction with our service." Maidens. Queued. 200 offerings per day. Ideas. I.. THINK NOT. "Excellent! In that case, here is the Binding, if I could please have your Mark here.. and your True Name here.." Zephriel sized up the bureaucrat, noting the evenness of features, the subtle nimbus. Suspiciously.. clear complexion. Of course the meddling hand of the Divine was involved in this. Zephriel grinned, reaching for the paperwork. This seemed quite the era for change.. If the humans could humanize Hell, it was only a matter of time til Heaven would follow. What an interesting.. Idea.	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Manifest Destiny. There was time when I used to believe that I had choice. I used to go to church everyday, tearing, thinking that one day God would bring me into heaven. My lungs were black from coal, my hands scared and caloused. I try my best with my kids, never hit them, buy them nintendos and pokemons. I worry that they wont be able to take care of their children, that I may be the last generation. But I figure God has a plan and I have faith in their smile. Jesus is about forgiveness, and I do teach them responsibility through chores. Last year, the Devil came. This isnt some metaphor from revelations. Wasnt a 7 headed creature that breathed ice and spat fire. But I knew it was the devil because he brought an army of evil. They came up from Mt St Helens, swooped over to Seattle, came down the west cost and have been trying to spread east. On the news I saw him. He looked young with a crazy look. Clockwork Orange is the best way I could describe it. His smile was inviting, I thought about leaving once or twice, I confess. They live as dominants to young liberal submissives. I bet they all have crazy parties. Last party I had was when I was 16. I got bullets which I then had to use for hunting scarce animals for extra cash. Well, I imagine they wont last forever. Many of the weakest are used as the frontlines to invade eastward. Its sad seeing it on the news. Theyll come for Kentucky eventually, but its so far away. But Ive been reading. Apparently, theres diamonds in hell. Apparently theres iron and a bunch of materials that are pretty expensive. A prospector went down there through Russia, theyre talking motherload. Im thinking money. Retirement. All these years if hardwork, paying off. Theres been whispering of "Manifest Destiny". We all know the US will take over the world, only matter of time. So maybe its time to take on hell. On the news, politicians seem to have a confident smile. They dont seem worried Silicon Valley is preparing their robot army. Or that Los Angeles has been sending cult leaders to Minnisota and Mississippi. Blood for oil. Hey, I dont blame them. I wouldnt mind killing a few horned horse people myself. Well goat people. And then a big payoff?! Hoooweee! Just thinking about it gets me excited! Ding Dong Jimmy got up from his desk. Took off his glasses abd placed them down on the table. Wiped his eyes. "All this dreaming, is it a sin? Please forgive me lord" he whispered. He grabbed his pistol and holster and put it on. The floor gave out hollow echos as he walked to the front door. Theme songs could be heard faintly from the other room. A half angry smile smile came accross his face "You kids do your homework?!" He knew no answer would be replied, worth a try though. He approached the front door, a pale periwinkle. "Hey, Darel! Whats the deal?!" Darel had a crazy smile. An M249 on his back and coveres in ammunition belts. His red beard and shadowed face contrasted against the bright green Kentucky forest. The sun sure was happy today. "Its time." He handed an article to Jimmy. "Money for Nothing, Hell is Free". Jimmy recoiled. "The US army in conjunction with A coalition of military forces will be scaling an assault on hell in the next coming weeks. President Trump remarked that this is a 'huge opportunity for all americans who want to strike it big. Theres so much out there. Im telling you people, go. We will protect you. Become rich. Your only going to make a billion dollars if you take risks, believe me.'" Jimmy smiled at Darel, "I like Trump". Darel nodded with great energy then continued looking at the paper excited to hear more. "The US military enacting a tactic known as 'Community Fortification'. All US citizens are invited to participate, and if selected will be instrumental to ensuring a peaceful and prosperous coexistance between hell and earth. You will be given food, water, free travel and all necessities required to mine and provide for your family." Jimmy stared off into the ground. Years of sacrifice and jealousy started to burn. The image of a 3 story house in nebraska. Having lemonade with Warren Buffet. Going down to hell and seeing demons mine his plot of land. Being invited to white house and given a medal for bravery. "Kids! Pack your bags! We're going to hell!"	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	The last testament of Praxel, A Lord of Hell. When the gates began to crackle with energy again it was almost unknown to us, after thousands of years of dormancy the hope of venturing forth as kings and conquerors into the low worlds was all but lost. In a bout of wisdom the old man had stopped meddling in their affairs, realizing that any aid to those lower life forms would inevitably lead them to be worse. His isolation had made it so the source of energy for the gates was gone. We thought we had him to thank when they re-opened, with a surge of energy that didn’t just allow for a few hundred of us to slip through, like it had been millennia ago, but thousands if we wished. The old man had finally forsaken the creatures he took pity on, obviously. Why he ever enjoyed them was a mystery to us to begin with, they were weak, and helpless. His reasoning was at best flimsy “You do not understand how rare sentience is, it’s a mistake of life, trillions and trillions of worlds and we were the last to achieve it billions of years ago. You don’t remember our climb, my misshapen children, but you still enjoy the long life and the powerful bodies its technology provided, even if you have squandered them.” Squandered, the old fool—as if he and his ‘perfect’ little group of sycophants had any room to talk. It did not matter though, they chose their way and we chose our way. The scars from our people’s war still remain evident on our world, a world our ancestors had created to be perfect, somewhere above the low worlds—though how they had done it was lost to us. The old man had stolen the knowledge, and he’d stolen it to protect those sniveling, weak humans, who now existed on a world more pristine than our own, despite it being a low world. Whatever they had done to piss the old man off, we should thank them for we had thought, maybe we’d keep a few as pets since that would really be all they were good for. Some still lived that remember those times when we last saw humanity, they had been part of the small hosts that slipped to their world four millennia ago. They all looked alike, not like us. The smallest of us was their size, but the largest could stretch a dozen feet into the air. Some of us had fur, some of us scales, some skin—all signs of the beauty of expression our people had discovered long ago, on of the magics lost to us now, allowing us to be what we wished. We were stronger than them, one of the old-timers said he could crush a man’s head in his hand. Not that we’d even need to, they died on their own! Their bodies broke down without having to be killed in just a few decades, so weak, it was unfathomable how the old man saw them as more than insects. So of course as the hosts of Hell prepared for war, gathering our swords and armor, we felt nothing but excitement. As the portals opened, we found the humans had infested their world, millions of them crawling in and out of these large hives they had erected like vermin. They were still as weak as ever. I personally killed a dozen, slicing their heads off with ease. The stories about how it took dozens of them with spears to even harm an old timer were evident now, and these humans didn’t have a weapon in sight. As my warriors moved through one of these hives the humans had found and dwelt in, all sorts of treasures were brought to me. One, a sleek little shiny thing seemed to be some kind of mirror that worked in a very odd way, one held it up to something and on the other side of it was the image. One of my warriors had said a human was holding it up trying to steal his soul, apparently. After examining it, though, I assured him such a thing was not possible—it was some trick. It was one of many queer things, like the carriages the humans seemed to move in with no beasts to draw them. Or how they talked into those little mirror things, often times screaming some gibberish; not that the talking was odd, humans often held odd objects to them and muttered things in their final moments. What was odd was how none of them knew our language, the old ones said the Sumerian spoke our tongue with ease after the old man taught them, but now? They seemed to have lost even that grace. Our pride allowed us to take this as another sign they had fallen. But it wasn’t until Iculbun, a small goat looking fellow and a good friend too, fell that we suspected something might be amiss. This human in blue waved something at him that popped—and stung him. Not badly, but enough to draw blood. Inculbun was so incensed he immediately leapt toward the man and ripped his heart out. In his celebration he failed to notice another man by him, this one had some kind of staff. Fire came from the end of it, and a loud thunderous noise—Inculbun jerked as if he’d been punched. The man moved his hand down the staff with a clicking sound and yet more fire rained from it. Inculbun tried to move toward the man but five thunderous roars of that staff later, Inculbun was dead. The old man above, the humans had learned magic, I thought to myself. A swarm of my warriors tore the man to shreds post-haste, but I could see it in their eyes, fear. Oh, my ignorance was great then as I spoke to them, assuring them that we had killed hundreds and only seen but two of these wizards so far, and the one could do little more than hurl useless tiny stones. If this was the limit of humanity’s newfound knowledge of magic, then we had nothing to fear. My warriors even picked up their staffs, and little slings--they let forth a great popping roar a few times but then they stopped working, it seemed like whatever power these Wizards held was fleeting at best. I had thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, this was why the old man had opened the gates again. He never did like it when these creatures tampered in things beyond their understanding, and the mystical arts were things he reserved almost solely for himself. My warriors were renewed. The crusade continued. I should have paid attention to the runners which brought news of other portals, speaking of how large carriages of humans had shown up, with men inside that looked like the Wizards, but had deep black on instead and all of them had staffs of a different sort. Preposterous. If so many Wizards existed, surely there would be more among them then the few we had encountered since our first sighting, I had thought. Almost none of them had those large staffs, the only trick they could do were what we had come to call ‘magic missile’, annoying yes, like the bite of a Frimpltoad, enough to draw blood, but nothing seriously dangerous unless it somewhere truly vulnerable. But even then we were only vulnerable because we’d become careless, we abandoned our large hell-forged shields because they were too heavy and the humans seemed to be helpless. Once my warriors had taken them up again, the thick pieces of iron that weighed nearly what the humans themselves did, the little tricks the Wizards had were useless, they barely scratched the shield. Even the staffs only dented it a little. If this was the extent of human magic, we truly did have little to worry about. However as men in black, soft armor showed up—with their long staffs that did not click after each missile, our difficulties increased. Their thunder staves still could not pierce our hell-iron, it simply left little dings, but the thick metal held—and it was large enough to cover a demons body near entire. Still, if one of my warriors was caught unawares, or was flanked, these staves could rip right through his body, causing a wound that was shocking in its severity. It was at that point that we became serious. Employing tactics we had used against the armies of men who came to oppose us before. Lined with shields and sword, we protected each other and slew the black armored men—and once again, my warriors were renewed. With the loss of but a few their greatest Wizards were still easy to butcher as long as we treated them with the little respect they deserved. Truly this world would be ours in week, we thought. We enjoyed the plunder, and death for two days as the humans seemed to abandon their hives. Eventually nearly none were left—it was quite the exodus, all things told, very organized. But we knew they’d be hiding in the hills, humans always ran for the hills the old timers said. We tried to make sense of the gibberish they spoke, even capturing some and torturing them to speak correctly. We looked through books, and found nothing familiar. These fools really had fallen from grace, and we were emboldened even more, we’d go root them from their holes and enjoy the fruits of our victory in time....Oh what fools we were.	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Gather round the campfire, young ones, and I'll tell you the greatest story of old. You see, there was a time when we thought the stories of gods and monsters were just that - stories. But as you all know, early in the twenty-first Century, we realised we were living in one of those stories. In the summer of 2020, the world was wracked with earthquakes. The very magma of the earth was awakened, it seemed. But what bled forth from the underworld was not material or mineral, but monsters. Real monsters. These demons, vile and impossible creatures, were bred for one purpose. To create torment, to inflict pain and to induce fear. They streamed from rents in the earth like a ravening, frothing tide. Great beings of wildfire and ichor, spindly crawlers of iron and blood, even fair temptresses with cat's eyes and honeyed whispers. Many worlds had fallen to them in the past. They broke morale and won the wars before ever they reached the poor creatures that faced them, weeping and bowels emptying in terror. That these personifications of all they feared could also tear them apart once they got to them was almost unnecessary, because few could bear to resist them in any meaningful way. The devils were evil and fear incarnate; it was what they were created for and they knew nothing else. Which was why they failed. They were born cruel, but we humans, we had discovered it for ourselves. And we liked it. Through all the horrors men and women had faced in their fifty thousand year climb from neanderthals to farmers, builders and creators, none had ever been enough to break us. For the truth about humans is that we aren't incredible, nor amazing, at doing any one thing. But we adapt, faster and more readily than anything. The first waves of infernal creatures were enough to end cities and leave nations in ruins... but so what? Had we not done far worse ourselves in the wars? Great clanking, hissing metal and flesh machines might shriek out of the mists and pull victims into their grinding rollers, but was this terror any worse than the armoured tank charges men had stood fast against for over a century? Perhaps the first time a skittering spider-tree the size of a building attacks your squad, you may run in fear. But the second time you hold your ground and shoot back long enough for an orderly retreat. By the fifth, you've already been placing C4 to blow limbs off while a sniper takes out the eyes. A month later and there's a chalk board in the mess with a comical drawing of one dancing in a frying pan and the line 'just add napalm, asshole' and a tally of the squads with the most confirmed kills. The infernal momentum did not hold after the first few weeks. They could send their most single-minded, brutal killers to the front lines as their spearhead, but so could we. And we sent them with Abrams, Raptors and Predators. People adapted. Mankind stumbled briefly before standing up and roaring. Great columns of armoured vehicles stretched to the horizons as nations emptied their arsenals and shared the great reserves of weapons. Millions of men and women armed to the teeth and bred for millions of years to survive and kill other people above all found they had something more to offer. All those killer instincts, but aimed at a great enemy and fighting for our very survival? Bands of brothers will fight to the death for one another and we did. Oh, we did. But we made them die first. We humans have killed each other since the dawn of time, giving us the skills and the utter ingenuity at crafting death weapons and vessels to turn on any foe. The demons had never had such savvy prey as one another. That was why they lost. And when their lines broke on the plains of Africa and the Andes, humans did what they've been doing for a thousand, thousand years. The enemy routed. They ran them down. They smelled victory and they butchered the defeated enemy. They pursued them all the way back to Hades. The hellspawn knew they were utterly lost and they ran as if all the demons of myth and legend were chasing them. Alas they were not so fortunate.	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Polanski: HOLY FUCK THEY GOT TO EARTH?! Rider: The demons? "Sigh", seems like taking over our station in Mars wasn't enough. Polanski: Sir, please tell me we can kill them. Rider: Yes and to kil- wait a second, my men just brung in a live demon, I'll bring the phone closer to it. Rider: What's up jackass, you speak English? "Demon": You have to let me go! We only invaded earth to escape him! Rider: Well, that was unexpected, you do speak English, who is HIM? "Demon": He was the sole survivor of our invasion of what you call Mars, you must understand our invasion of your planet is a battle for survival, not for war. Rider: Shit, where is he now? In Hell? "Demon": Yes no- "gunshots" Rider: Thanks dumbass, we got all we needed. Polanski please make your way back to UAC command. "Soldier": Sir! We just found a picture of who the demon is referring to. Rider: Who the fuck is Doomguy? If he's in there who don't need to invade Hell, just defend our home. Maybe demons should learn to defend their homes as well.	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Only five years prior no one would imagine a single global government or that a burgeoning 8 billion soul population would be savaged to half of that with whole regions of Earth completely depopulated. Evil had come to Earth and wore continental Europe as a cloak of flesh, initially in the form of renew desires and push for glory day empires of bending the riches of Asia, the Americas and Africa to the whim and will of European masters. Then a sudden assault as the Mastery of Europe turned the Eastern seaboard of the People's Republic of China into irradiated glass and ash which was decried by the world and dislocated alliances particularly NATO. The global community knew not what to do. A U.N. summit became the show piece in the truth of matter when all the representatives from Europe were torn to shreds as their hosts stepped through into this dimensional reality. Terrible beings of dripping black hatred tore the screaming delegates into wet heaps of quivering flesh leaving the Secretary-General as their final offering to their dark hell master. Secretary-General Jerrick of Singapore was flayed alive and pinned to the wall with the broken bones of the delegates their entrails used as arcane sigils to keep the devastated man alive. Terrible creatures appeared in every country around the world and pulled those of executive power through cracks in reality and straight into hell. In a few short hours the whole of the Earth was without any formal leadership. Overnight a darkness enveloped the Old World as Hell dropped it's cloak of flesh and subjugated their mortals. Demonic beings and monsters of stories began to roam the hellscape. Then they went to war. However disturbing and vile this new unreality was. No matter what the truth of it, were they aliens or was hell real does that mean heaven is real and an Angelic host was on it's way. There were no angels but there was something that Hell did not account for. The readiness and willingness of the remaining human population to wage war. In one short year humanity with the full vigour and mechanical horror of it's industrialised war machine had taken the European hellscape and turned into a moonscape, led by both oceanic fleets of the United States Navy supported by every nation's military capable of getting to Europe to fire a weapon. Massive armies of volunteers from Africa urged on by preachers and pastors met their brothers and sisters in arms from the middle and far Asia with weapons churned out by the immense American industrial complex.to wage a holy war to put Hell down. The forces of Evil had no defence against such incredible amount of munitions, towering flesh beasts of tooth and horn that once put Ancient Hebrew warriors to flight were too slow and too big to avoid being turned to mist by small arms fire. Gargantuan fire breathing dragons littered the ground, their delicate wings chewed up by Australian joint strike fighters, and imps trying to hold the weapons of men began to decorate the belts of Ghurkha soldiers avenging the now dead British Isles. A year and Hell was beaten into submission unable to wage war like the mortals they had intended to intimidate. A new world government was formed of the remaining leaders, and quickly sought to investigate the matter of retaliation whilst clean up of Europe took place. Every unholy altar was torn down, every idol destroyed and the whole place cleansed with fire and hammer and plastic explosive. In Bielefeld Germany a Aperture to hell was found. Science and engineering had quickly found means of following demonic energy and even was beginning to understand how it worked in the real world. Experts met and theories explored and ultimately it was discovered just as the hosts of hell could march into the world, the wrath of mankind could go back in. The decision was rapidly made and preparations for this new incursion were funded with the globes best warriors and hunters from the retaking of Europe called in to be fitted up for war once again. The South Sudan Snake Killers, a irregular force who won notoriety their unique approach for dealing with enslaved cultists and their masters volunteered early and with good cause to take the fight to hell. The New Iberian Moors made up of Moroccan troopers who liberated the Spanish peninsula also were picked. Finally the United South American warriors of Christ one of whom had bested the Anti-Pope in Rome in a dual were given their marching orders, singing hymns all the way to Germany. The year was 2022 and mankind had reached the shores of Hell to kill the Devil and avenge the Dead. Author note: It should be said i borrowed a lot of stuff from the world built by /u/Atimo3 over in r/worldbuilding. They did a stack load of really good work and it just seems to fit in this prompt. I took some massive liberties with what they made to suit my needs but credit is still due to them.	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	When they first rose from that damnable abyss we scattered like ants across the surface of the globe, but we didn't hide forever. Even within the first weeks those with weapons would conduct hit and run tactics against the ever encroaching army while those in charge attempted to put together a more suitable strategy. Sure there were people who would shout and scream till they were blue in the face trying to convince us that god was the only one who could save us, but those prayers and pleas fell on deaf ears. God had truly abandoned us, but we were no longer the scared and helpless world we were before. We had rifles to gun them down, missiles to lay waste to their army, and the same amount of mercy they showed us. It didn't take long for us to push them back just as hard as they pushed us, but no matter the encounter we suffered losses. By the time a full year had passed we were sure we would lose. Hopelessly, and with no where left to turn we prayed to God once more, but it wasn't him who answered the call for help. When we saw our soldiers charge from out the hellish maw that their armies advanced from our first thoughts turned to betrayal. It was only when our allies began to commence flanking attacks on the demons and devils that we knew we had them beat. Who was to watch over the slave pits when you needed every available troop to stop the marching advances of humanity? In the end, it wasn't just our former allies that rose from hell to push back the devils, but every soul ever sentenced to pain and agony for the crimes they had committed. We became brutal, engaging in suicide attacks every time we charged forwards. Death could not contain us, and every man and woman who fell on the battlefield came marching out of that fiery gate. Our fallen invading Hell from within. Even Satan could not beat us, we bathed him in nuclear fire until the only thing left was a puddle of radioactive sludge. We had no fear of using these weapons of destruction anymore. There was agony, but life for us was eternal. In the end we had proved that our numbers, and our savage human nature had won out over the forces of hell. There was no one preaching love anymore, love and piousness hadn't won the war. With our last great enemy defeated, we grew restless, we needed more. We all stood in hell, surrounding Satan's toppled throne when we made the decision to keep our endless march moving forward. We as one turned our eyes to sky, marched out of that portal, and in 2023 we invaded heaven.	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"This was a bad idea." General Partridge stared across the bleak landscape as Private Graves approached him. After a hard fought battle, the General's forces had made a grinding advancement up the fortified hill and had captured the outpost at its summit. The demon spawn had made hasty retreat, scurrying away from the area to regroup. Without delay, Graves had been commissioned to conduct a thorough review of the area, to determine exactly what they had captured. "I have the report sir." Graves spoke nervously. "Why did we think this was a good idea again?" General Partridge turned to Graves, a quiet confoundment in his eyes. "I mean am I right in saying that it's Hell?" "Yes sir." Graves replied. "Like as far as you went it was just all still Hell?" "Yes sir." General Partridge sat down on an outcrop of cooling Brimstone. "You know Graves." He sighed "When Hell invaded us a year ago, I was horrified. I was appalled but you know what... at least I understood it. They wanted our world, our plentiful resources, our sunlight and cool breezes. They wanted to escape the endless torment of an infinite hell dimension. So why did we respond by sending our global armies to capture it? A territory historically documented as the worst place ever. I mean, have we found any food?" "No sir." "Any oil reserves?" "Yes... but they're all on fire, Sir." "Any water sources?" "... Also on fire, Sir." "Great." Partridge sank back against the course rock wall. "How many demons did we kill?" "We're reporting over 800 sir but..." "But?" Partridge, sensing Graves' reluctance, fixed him with an unbreaking stare. Graves finally relented, unable to look his superior in the eye as he spoke. "Well they're the damned so... when we kill them they go to Hell." "Which is here." "Yes sir." "Fucking fantastic." Partridge uncapped his hipflask and took a much needed swig. "But we've advanced? The front line has moved?" "Yes by two miles sir." "And how much of Hell is that?" "Well sir, Hell is infinite so our current land gain is..." "So small it's not even mathematically calculable." "Yes sir. Our usual advancement measures are based on terrain that..." "Ends?" "Well yes sir." General Partridge looked out across the bleak landscape. Private Graves at his side. "This was a bad idea."	It started in 2021. They invaded us, the denizens of Hell invaded us. Forming multiple portals all across the globe and mobilizing massive armies against all of humanity is an incredibly effective blitzkrieg. Nations fell to chaos in days, Earth itself becoming difficult to defend when you have no front to attack and nowhere to retreat to. The bloody Americans on the other hand, were grossly over equipped to handle a war on their home soil. Unfortunately for Hell, they didn't take the definition of Lightning War literally. They fell into their old habits, torturing and toying with us. They didn't care that so many of them were wiped out because they came back eventually. They all came back eventually. We used all of their faults against them. We used their greed, their lust, their gluttony and wrath. We used their deadly sins against them and made them weak. New Years Day was when humanity made their move. January 3rd, 2022. They were weak. It was easy, all too easy! The advantage of having portals to mobilize forces en masse on your enemy has the downside of the portals being two ways, so your enemy could use it to mount a counter offensive. We marched straight in, not knowing what would happen, and yet we were weak. Hell's inhabitants turned it from a nightmarish wasteland of whipping sands, burning sulfur that lingered in your lungs, to habitable. Water ran where lava once was, the air no longer heavy with toxic gasses. Grass grew with no sunlight! Astonishing at best, but a hellhole still for all humanity. Our offensive marched into the portals while the demons lingered here on Earth, little more than a nuisance. Months of reports came back from the armies. We were so hopeful for a new start. The demons lingered about, kept complacent by their sloth tendencies. We were so ready to pick up humanity and leave Earth to the demons, but we had already done that. We made a mistake. The portals closed, every single one closed. When they did, all of humanity was defenseless against the demons. They overpowered us, played the long game well. They made our Earth, their Hell. (This prompt was kinda hard to write about without using influences from Doom and other Hell vs Earth stories/games.)
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	The last testament of Praxel, A Lord of Hell. When the gates began to crackle with energy again it was almost unknown to us, after thousands of years of dormancy the hope of venturing forth as kings and conquerors into the low worlds was all but lost. In a bout of wisdom the old man had stopped meddling in their affairs, realizing that any aid to those lower life forms would inevitably lead them to be worse. His isolation had made it so the source of energy for the gates was gone. We thought we had him to thank when they re-opened, with a surge of energy that didn’t just allow for a few hundred of us to slip through, like it had been millennia ago, but thousands if we wished. The old man had finally forsaken the creatures he took pity on, obviously. Why he ever enjoyed them was a mystery to us to begin with, they were weak, and helpless. His reasoning was at best flimsy “You do not understand how rare sentience is, it’s a mistake of life, trillions and trillions of worlds and we were the last to achieve it billions of years ago. You don’t remember our climb, my misshapen children, but you still enjoy the long life and the powerful bodies its technology provided, even if you have squandered them.” Squandered, the old fool—as if he and his ‘perfect’ little group of sycophants had any room to talk. It did not matter though, they chose their way and we chose our way. The scars from our people’s war still remain evident on our world, a world our ancestors had created to be perfect, somewhere above the low worlds—though how they had done it was lost to us. The old man had stolen the knowledge, and he’d stolen it to protect those sniveling, weak humans, who now existed on a world more pristine than our own, despite it being a low world. Whatever they had done to piss the old man off, we should thank them for we had thought, maybe we’d keep a few as pets since that would really be all they were good for. Some still lived that remember those times when we last saw humanity, they had been part of the small hosts that slipped to their world four millennia ago. They all looked alike, not like us. The smallest of us was their size, but the largest could stretch a dozen feet into the air. Some of us had fur, some of us scales, some skin—all signs of the beauty of expression our people had discovered long ago, on of the magics lost to us now, allowing us to be what we wished. We were stronger than them, one of the old-timers said he could crush a man’s head in his hand. Not that we’d even need to, they died on their own! Their bodies broke down without having to be killed in just a few decades, so weak, it was unfathomable how the old man saw them as more than insects. So of course as the hosts of Hell prepared for war, gathering our swords and armor, we felt nothing but excitement. As the portals opened, we found the humans had infested their world, millions of them crawling in and out of these large hives they had erected like vermin. They were still as weak as ever. I personally killed a dozen, slicing their heads off with ease. The stories about how it took dozens of them with spears to even harm an old timer were evident now, and these humans didn’t have a weapon in sight. As my warriors moved through one of these hives the humans had found and dwelt in, all sorts of treasures were brought to me. One, a sleek little shiny thing seemed to be some kind of mirror that worked in a very odd way, one held it up to something and on the other side of it was the image. One of my warriors had said a human was holding it up trying to steal his soul, apparently. After examining it, though, I assured him such a thing was not possible—it was some trick. It was one of many queer things, like the carriages the humans seemed to move in with no beasts to draw them. Or how they talked into those little mirror things, often times screaming some gibberish; not that the talking was odd, humans often held odd objects to them and muttered things in their final moments. What was odd was how none of them knew our language, the old ones said the Sumerian spoke our tongue with ease after the old man taught them, but now? They seemed to have lost even that grace. Our pride allowed us to take this as another sign they had fallen. But it wasn’t until Iculbun, a small goat looking fellow and a good friend too, fell that we suspected something might be amiss. This human in blue waved something at him that popped—and stung him. Not badly, but enough to draw blood. Inculbun was so incensed he immediately leapt toward the man and ripped his heart out. In his celebration he failed to notice another man by him, this one had some kind of staff. Fire came from the end of it, and a loud thunderous noise—Inculbun jerked as if he’d been punched. The man moved his hand down the staff with a clicking sound and yet more fire rained from it. Inculbun tried to move toward the man but five thunderous roars of that staff later, Inculbun was dead. The old man above, the humans had learned magic, I thought to myself. A swarm of my warriors tore the man to shreds post-haste, but I could see it in their eyes, fear. Oh, my ignorance was great then as I spoke to them, assuring them that we had killed hundreds and only seen but two of these wizards so far, and the one could do little more than hurl useless tiny stones. If this was the limit of humanity’s newfound knowledge of magic, then we had nothing to fear. My warriors even picked up their staffs, and little slings--they let forth a great popping roar a few times but then they stopped working, it seemed like whatever power these Wizards held was fleeting at best. I had thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, this was why the old man had opened the gates again. He never did like it when these creatures tampered in things beyond their understanding, and the mystical arts were things he reserved almost solely for himself. My warriors were renewed. The crusade continued. I should have paid attention to the runners which brought news of other portals, speaking of how large carriages of humans had shown up, with men inside that looked like the Wizards, but had deep black on instead and all of them had staffs of a different sort. Preposterous. If so many Wizards existed, surely there would be more among them then the few we had encountered since our first sighting, I had thought. Almost none of them had those large staffs, the only trick they could do were what we had come to call ‘magic missile’, annoying yes, like the bite of a Frimpltoad, enough to draw blood, but nothing seriously dangerous unless it somewhere truly vulnerable. But even then we were only vulnerable because we’d become careless, we abandoned our large hell-forged shields because they were too heavy and the humans seemed to be helpless. Once my warriors had taken them up again, the thick pieces of iron that weighed nearly what the humans themselves did, the little tricks the Wizards had were useless, they barely scratched the shield. Even the staffs only dented it a little. If this was the extent of human magic, we truly did have little to worry about. However as men in black, soft armor showed up—with their long staffs that did not click after each missile, our difficulties increased. Their thunder staves still could not pierce our hell-iron, it simply left little dings, but the thick metal held—and it was large enough to cover a demons body near entire. Still, if one of my warriors was caught unawares, or was flanked, these staves could rip right through his body, causing a wound that was shocking in its severity. It was at that point that we became serious. Employing tactics we had used against the armies of men who came to oppose us before. Lined with shields and sword, we protected each other and slew the black armored men—and once again, my warriors were renewed. With the loss of but a few their greatest Wizards were still easy to butcher as long as we treated them with the little respect they deserved. Truly this world would be ours in week, we thought. We enjoyed the plunder, and death for two days as the humans seemed to abandon their hives. Eventually nearly none were left—it was quite the exodus, all things told, very organized. But we knew they’d be hiding in the hills, humans always ran for the hills the old timers said. We tried to make sense of the gibberish they spoke, even capturing some and torturing them to speak correctly. We looked through books, and found nothing familiar. These fools really had fallen from grace, and we were emboldened even more, we’d go root them from their holes and enjoy the fruits of our victory in time....Oh what fools we were.	It had been a crazy year. Both sides had made mistakes. Just years earlier world governments realized an attack on humanity was a real possibility and decided to prepare for one. Our mistake was thinking an attack would come from the skies, from extraterrestrials. We were wrong. March 22, 2021, 2:40AM. That's when it had all started. I was was so naive back then. A lowly Lieutenant fresh out of the ROTC program, stationed in South Korea. And by my side my wife, whom I had met Freshman year of college. I was holding my new born son in the South Korean hospital when it began. First the bright red and yellow lights from the north, then the orders came in to report to base at once. What the hell was going on? Had North Korea picked now of all times to pick a fight? I said goodbye and kissed my wife and son for the last time. As I left the hospital I saw it, a massive flaming ball hit the hospital at the base causing a massive explosion and the collapse of the building. My wife, my son. That was the longest night of my life. They had decided to attack the most densely populated areas of earth first, thinking those were the most powerful nations leaving NATO and the Americas relatively untouched. That was their mistake. Although taking Africa and most of Asia in a matter of days, Russia was able to hold them back just long enough for the West to mobilize. Russia and the remaining Chinese attacked from northern Asia while the West repelled their attempts to take Spain and Italy. Israel, surprisingly, had been able to hold their own before the Americans and Russians pushed the hell spawn out of Egypt, Syria, and Jordan. It took roughly a year to push the demons out of the world. On their retreat they closed the portals in China and India thinking we wouldn't be able to get back in, that was their second mistake. While the war had raged on our scientists had been studying the portals and had unlocked their secret. World leaders decided that to prevent another attack we must take hell. At first we had much trouble, for you see it's one thing to fight on earth, but it's another to fight in hell, where there are quite literally hellish conditions, on ground we did not know. Eventually world leadership decided we had had enough, and decided to, well, in the worlds of President Lonestar, "Nuke 'em"
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Gather round the campfire, young ones, and I'll tell you the greatest story of old. You see, there was a time when we thought the stories of gods and monsters were just that - stories. But as you all know, early in the twenty-first Century, we realised we were living in one of those stories. In the summer of 2020, the world was wracked with earthquakes. The very magma of the earth was awakened, it seemed. But what bled forth from the underworld was not material or mineral, but monsters. Real monsters. These demons, vile and impossible creatures, were bred for one purpose. To create torment, to inflict pain and to induce fear. They streamed from rents in the earth like a ravening, frothing tide. Great beings of wildfire and ichor, spindly crawlers of iron and blood, even fair temptresses with cat's eyes and honeyed whispers. Many worlds had fallen to them in the past. They broke morale and won the wars before ever they reached the poor creatures that faced them, weeping and bowels emptying in terror. That these personifications of all they feared could also tear them apart once they got to them was almost unnecessary, because few could bear to resist them in any meaningful way. The devils were evil and fear incarnate; it was what they were created for and they knew nothing else. Which was why they failed. They were born cruel, but we humans, we had discovered it for ourselves. And we liked it. Through all the horrors men and women had faced in their fifty thousand year climb from neanderthals to farmers, builders and creators, none had ever been enough to break us. For the truth about humans is that we aren't incredible, nor amazing, at doing any one thing. But we adapt, faster and more readily than anything. The first waves of infernal creatures were enough to end cities and leave nations in ruins... but so what? Had we not done far worse ourselves in the wars? Great clanking, hissing metal and flesh machines might shriek out of the mists and pull victims into their grinding rollers, but was this terror any worse than the armoured tank charges men had stood fast against for over a century? Perhaps the first time a skittering spider-tree the size of a building attacks your squad, you may run in fear. But the second time you hold your ground and shoot back long enough for an orderly retreat. By the fifth, you've already been placing C4 to blow limbs off while a sniper takes out the eyes. A month later and there's a chalk board in the mess with a comical drawing of one dancing in a frying pan and the line 'just add napalm, asshole' and a tally of the squads with the most confirmed kills. The infernal momentum did not hold after the first few weeks. They could send their most single-minded, brutal killers to the front lines as their spearhead, but so could we. And we sent them with Abrams, Raptors and Predators. People adapted. Mankind stumbled briefly before standing up and roaring. Great columns of armoured vehicles stretched to the horizons as nations emptied their arsenals and shared the great reserves of weapons. Millions of men and women armed to the teeth and bred for millions of years to survive and kill other people above all found they had something more to offer. All those killer instincts, but aimed at a great enemy and fighting for our very survival? Bands of brothers will fight to the death for one another and we did. Oh, we did. But we made them die first. We humans have killed each other since the dawn of time, giving us the skills and the utter ingenuity at crafting death weapons and vessels to turn on any foe. The demons had never had such savvy prey as one another. That was why they lost. And when their lines broke on the plains of Africa and the Andes, humans did what they've been doing for a thousand, thousand years. The enemy routed. They ran them down. They smelled victory and they butchered the defeated enemy. They pursued them all the way back to Hades. The hellspawn knew they were utterly lost and they ran as if all the demons of myth and legend were chasing them. Alas they were not so fortunate.	It had been a crazy year. Both sides had made mistakes. Just years earlier world governments realized an attack on humanity was a real possibility and decided to prepare for one. Our mistake was thinking an attack would come from the skies, from extraterrestrials. We were wrong. March 22, 2021, 2:40AM. That's when it had all started. I was was so naive back then. A lowly Lieutenant fresh out of the ROTC program, stationed in South Korea. And by my side my wife, whom I had met Freshman year of college. I was holding my new born son in the South Korean hospital when it began. First the bright red and yellow lights from the north, then the orders came in to report to base at once. What the hell was going on? Had North Korea picked now of all times to pick a fight? I said goodbye and kissed my wife and son for the last time. As I left the hospital I saw it, a massive flaming ball hit the hospital at the base causing a massive explosion and the collapse of the building. My wife, my son. That was the longest night of my life. They had decided to attack the most densely populated areas of earth first, thinking those were the most powerful nations leaving NATO and the Americas relatively untouched. That was their mistake. Although taking Africa and most of Asia in a matter of days, Russia was able to hold them back just long enough for the West to mobilize. Russia and the remaining Chinese attacked from northern Asia while the West repelled their attempts to take Spain and Italy. Israel, surprisingly, had been able to hold their own before the Americans and Russians pushed the hell spawn out of Egypt, Syria, and Jordan. It took roughly a year to push the demons out of the world. On their retreat they closed the portals in China and India thinking we wouldn't be able to get back in, that was their second mistake. While the war had raged on our scientists had been studying the portals and had unlocked their secret. World leaders decided that to prevent another attack we must take hell. At first we had much trouble, for you see it's one thing to fight on earth, but it's another to fight in hell, where there are quite literally hellish conditions, on ground we did not know. Eventually world leadership decided we had had enough, and decided to, well, in the worlds of President Lonestar, "Nuke 'em"
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	It had been a crazy year. Both sides had made mistakes. Just years earlier world governments realized an attack on humanity was a real possibility and decided to prepare for one. Our mistake was thinking an attack would come from the skies, from extraterrestrials. We were wrong. March 22, 2021, 2:40AM. That's when it had all started. I was was so naive back then. A lowly Lieutenant fresh out of the ROTC program, stationed in South Korea. And by my side my wife, whom I had met Freshman year of college. I was holding my new born son in the South Korean hospital when it began. First the bright red and yellow lights from the north, then the orders came in to report to base at once. What the hell was going on? Had North Korea picked now of all times to pick a fight? I said goodbye and kissed my wife and son for the last time. As I left the hospital I saw it, a massive flaming ball hit the hospital at the base causing a massive explosion and the collapse of the building. My wife, my son. That was the longest night of my life. They had decided to attack the most densely populated areas of earth first, thinking those were the most powerful nations leaving NATO and the Americas relatively untouched. That was their mistake. Although taking Africa and most of Asia in a matter of days, Russia was able to hold them back just long enough for the West to mobilize. Russia and the remaining Chinese attacked from northern Asia while the West repelled their attempts to take Spain and Italy. Israel, surprisingly, had been able to hold their own before the Americans and Russians pushed the hell spawn out of Egypt, Syria, and Jordan. It took roughly a year to push the demons out of the world. On their retreat they closed the portals in China and India thinking we wouldn't be able to get back in, that was their second mistake. While the war had raged on our scientists had been studying the portals and had unlocked their secret. World leaders decided that to prevent another attack we must take hell. At first we had much trouble, for you see it's one thing to fight on earth, but it's another to fight in hell, where there are quite literally hellish conditions, on ground we did not know. Eventually world leadership decided we had had enough, and decided to, well, in the worlds of President Lonestar, "Nuke 'em"
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Gather round the campfire, young ones, and I'll tell you the greatest story of old. You see, there was a time when we thought the stories of gods and monsters were just that - stories. But as you all know, early in the twenty-first Century, we realised we were living in one of those stories. In the summer of 2020, the world was wracked with earthquakes. The very magma of the earth was awakened, it seemed. But what bled forth from the underworld was not material or mineral, but monsters. Real monsters. These demons, vile and impossible creatures, were bred for one purpose. To create torment, to inflict pain and to induce fear. They streamed from rents in the earth like a ravening, frothing tide. Great beings of wildfire and ichor, spindly crawlers of iron and blood, even fair temptresses with cat's eyes and honeyed whispers. Many worlds had fallen to them in the past. They broke morale and won the wars before ever they reached the poor creatures that faced them, weeping and bowels emptying in terror. That these personifications of all they feared could also tear them apart once they got to them was almost unnecessary, because few could bear to resist them in any meaningful way. The devils were evil and fear incarnate; it was what they were created for and they knew nothing else. Which was why they failed. They were born cruel, but we humans, we had discovered it for ourselves. And we liked it. Through all the horrors men and women had faced in their fifty thousand year climb from neanderthals to farmers, builders and creators, none had ever been enough to break us. For the truth about humans is that we aren't incredible, nor amazing, at doing any one thing. But we adapt, faster and more readily than anything. The first waves of infernal creatures were enough to end cities and leave nations in ruins... but so what? Had we not done far worse ourselves in the wars? Great clanking, hissing metal and flesh machines might shriek out of the mists and pull victims into their grinding rollers, but was this terror any worse than the armoured tank charges men had stood fast against for over a century? Perhaps the first time a skittering spider-tree the size of a building attacks your squad, you may run in fear. But the second time you hold your ground and shoot back long enough for an orderly retreat. By the fifth, you've already been placing C4 to blow limbs off while a sniper takes out the eyes. A month later and there's a chalk board in the mess with a comical drawing of one dancing in a frying pan and the line 'just add napalm, asshole' and a tally of the squads with the most confirmed kills. The infernal momentum did not hold after the first few weeks. They could send their most single-minded, brutal killers to the front lines as their spearhead, but so could we. And we sent them with Abrams, Raptors and Predators. People adapted. Mankind stumbled briefly before standing up and roaring. Great columns of armoured vehicles stretched to the horizons as nations emptied their arsenals and shared the great reserves of weapons. Millions of men and women armed to the teeth and bred for millions of years to survive and kill other people above all found they had something more to offer. All those killer instincts, but aimed at a great enemy and fighting for our very survival? Bands of brothers will fight to the death for one another and we did. Oh, we did. But we made them die first. We humans have killed each other since the dawn of time, giving us the skills and the utter ingenuity at crafting death weapons and vessels to turn on any foe. The demons had never had such savvy prey as one another. That was why they lost. And when their lines broke on the plains of Africa and the Andes, humans did what they've been doing for a thousand, thousand years. The enemy routed. They ran them down. They smelled victory and they butchered the defeated enemy. They pursued them all the way back to Hades. The hellspawn knew they were utterly lost and they ran as if all the demons of myth and legend were chasing them. Alas they were not so fortunate.	In 2021 Hell invaded Earth. There was carnage and 10% of the world population centered around the big cities died in the first months. After that the world governments took measures against them. The fiends could no longer kill whoever they wanted. We started pushing them back to the very gate of hell. But there was three-headed dog on that gate. A dog impervious to every measure we could think of. We even threw a nuke at it, but it just ate it up. The enemy was pushed back to the gate, yes, but they didn't stop coming. People still died and fighting still broke out in remote parts of the worlds. Terror attacks were becoming more increasing. Religion itself was on the rise. 90% of the human population now believed in one religion or the other. Meanwhile scientists and world leaders kept the research going to find how to end the war decisively. In 2022 we did. We figured out how to invade Hell. And here I stand before the table of world leaders, before each a secure line to their respective countries. Today was the day we invaded Hell. Everybody in the world was aware about it. During the past few months the attacks from Hell have gotten increasingly frantic in trying to stop us, but we won't. We can't. We will win this war. We are humanity. "Initiate nuclear destruction. Kill everybody."
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	In 2021 Hell invaded Earth. There was carnage and 10% of the world population centered around the big cities died in the first months. After that the world governments took measures against them. The fiends could no longer kill whoever they wanted. We started pushing them back to the very gate of hell. But there was three-headed dog on that gate. A dog impervious to every measure we could think of. We even threw a nuke at it, but it just ate it up. The enemy was pushed back to the gate, yes, but they didn't stop coming. People still died and fighting still broke out in remote parts of the worlds. Terror attacks were becoming more increasing. Religion itself was on the rise. 90% of the human population now believed in one religion or the other. Meanwhile scientists and world leaders kept the research going to find how to end the war decisively. In 2022 we did. We figured out how to invade Hell. And here I stand before the table of world leaders, before each a secure line to their respective countries. Today was the day we invaded Hell. Everybody in the world was aware about it. During the past few months the attacks from Hell have gotten increasingly frantic in trying to stop us, but we won't. We can't. We will win this war. We are humanity. "Initiate nuclear destruction. Kill everybody."
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	I was 32 when the first portal opened. At first, it went unnoticed by humanity, mostly confined to conspiracy websites and UFO nuts. It was located in the middle of the Pacific Northwest and no one had too much motive to check it out. But once the earth cracked open, there was no stopping or denying the demon invasion that had begun. At first, it was difficult for humanity to fight back. These were enemies unlike anything our modern weapons had ever fought before. We had to think differently about it. It's funny that the solution came from someone like me. I didn't want to be the hero. I was just tired of running. I was tired of watching my friends slaughtered by the demons, watching their souls slip away into the grasp of those redskinned bastards. It didn't take some mystical weapon, or secret incantations, or holy water. I fought back, and in doing so, found a strength I had never thought myself capable of. The demon I fought couldn't land a hit on me, and I had figured out why. The invaders drew their power from the fear they induced in humanity. So long as we refused to be afraid of them, they had no power over us. When that knowledge began to spread throughout the world, the battles were quickly won. We're still picking up the pieces, but we're ready to take the fight to them. Through our strength, we will liberate those still trapped in Hell, and triumph in ways no one could have expected in those early days. We became the people we were always meant to become. That's how we won the first time. And that's how we'll win this time.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	The last testament of Praxel, A Lord of Hell. When the gates began to crackle with energy again it was almost unknown to us, after thousands of years of dormancy the hope of venturing forth as kings and conquerors into the low worlds was all but lost. In a bout of wisdom the old man had stopped meddling in their affairs, realizing that any aid to those lower life forms would inevitably lead them to be worse. His isolation had made it so the source of energy for the gates was gone. We thought we had him to thank when they re-opened, with a surge of energy that didn’t just allow for a few hundred of us to slip through, like it had been millennia ago, but thousands if we wished. The old man had finally forsaken the creatures he took pity on, obviously. Why he ever enjoyed them was a mystery to us to begin with, they were weak, and helpless. His reasoning was at best flimsy “You do not understand how rare sentience is, it’s a mistake of life, trillions and trillions of worlds and we were the last to achieve it billions of years ago. You don’t remember our climb, my misshapen children, but you still enjoy the long life and the powerful bodies its technology provided, even if you have squandered them.” Squandered, the old fool—as if he and his ‘perfect’ little group of sycophants had any room to talk. It did not matter though, they chose their way and we chose our way. The scars from our people’s war still remain evident on our world, a world our ancestors had created to be perfect, somewhere above the low worlds—though how they had done it was lost to us. The old man had stolen the knowledge, and he’d stolen it to protect those sniveling, weak humans, who now existed on a world more pristine than our own, despite it being a low world. Whatever they had done to piss the old man off, we should thank them for we had thought, maybe we’d keep a few as pets since that would really be all they were good for. Some still lived that remember those times when we last saw humanity, they had been part of the small hosts that slipped to their world four millennia ago. They all looked alike, not like us. The smallest of us was their size, but the largest could stretch a dozen feet into the air. Some of us had fur, some of us scales, some skin—all signs of the beauty of expression our people had discovered long ago, on of the magics lost to us now, allowing us to be what we wished. We were stronger than them, one of the old-timers said he could crush a man’s head in his hand. Not that we’d even need to, they died on their own! Their bodies broke down without having to be killed in just a few decades, so weak, it was unfathomable how the old man saw them as more than insects. So of course as the hosts of Hell prepared for war, gathering our swords and armor, we felt nothing but excitement. As the portals opened, we found the humans had infested their world, millions of them crawling in and out of these large hives they had erected like vermin. They were still as weak as ever. I personally killed a dozen, slicing their heads off with ease. The stories about how it took dozens of them with spears to even harm an old timer were evident now, and these humans didn’t have a weapon in sight. As my warriors moved through one of these hives the humans had found and dwelt in, all sorts of treasures were brought to me. One, a sleek little shiny thing seemed to be some kind of mirror that worked in a very odd way, one held it up to something and on the other side of it was the image. One of my warriors had said a human was holding it up trying to steal his soul, apparently. After examining it, though, I assured him such a thing was not possible—it was some trick. It was one of many queer things, like the carriages the humans seemed to move in with no beasts to draw them. Or how they talked into those little mirror things, often times screaming some gibberish; not that the talking was odd, humans often held odd objects to them and muttered things in their final moments. What was odd was how none of them knew our language, the old ones said the Sumerian spoke our tongue with ease after the old man taught them, but now? They seemed to have lost even that grace. Our pride allowed us to take this as another sign they had fallen. But it wasn’t until Iculbun, a small goat looking fellow and a good friend too, fell that we suspected something might be amiss. This human in blue waved something at him that popped—and stung him. Not badly, but enough to draw blood. Inculbun was so incensed he immediately leapt toward the man and ripped his heart out. In his celebration he failed to notice another man by him, this one had some kind of staff. Fire came from the end of it, and a loud thunderous noise—Inculbun jerked as if he’d been punched. The man moved his hand down the staff with a clicking sound and yet more fire rained from it. Inculbun tried to move toward the man but five thunderous roars of that staff later, Inculbun was dead. The old man above, the humans had learned magic, I thought to myself. A swarm of my warriors tore the man to shreds post-haste, but I could see it in their eyes, fear. Oh, my ignorance was great then as I spoke to them, assuring them that we had killed hundreds and only seen but two of these wizards so far, and the one could do little more than hurl useless tiny stones. If this was the limit of humanity’s newfound knowledge of magic, then we had nothing to fear. My warriors even picked up their staffs, and little slings--they let forth a great popping roar a few times but then they stopped working, it seemed like whatever power these Wizards held was fleeting at best. I had thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, this was why the old man had opened the gates again. He never did like it when these creatures tampered in things beyond their understanding, and the mystical arts were things he reserved almost solely for himself. My warriors were renewed. The crusade continued. I should have paid attention to the runners which brought news of other portals, speaking of how large carriages of humans had shown up, with men inside that looked like the Wizards, but had deep black on instead and all of them had staffs of a different sort. Preposterous. If so many Wizards existed, surely there would be more among them then the few we had encountered since our first sighting, I had thought. Almost none of them had those large staffs, the only trick they could do were what we had come to call ‘magic missile’, annoying yes, like the bite of a Frimpltoad, enough to draw blood, but nothing seriously dangerous unless it somewhere truly vulnerable. But even then we were only vulnerable because we’d become careless, we abandoned our large hell-forged shields because they were too heavy and the humans seemed to be helpless. Once my warriors had taken them up again, the thick pieces of iron that weighed nearly what the humans themselves did, the little tricks the Wizards had were useless, they barely scratched the shield. Even the staffs only dented it a little. If this was the extent of human magic, we truly did have little to worry about. However as men in black, soft armor showed up—with their long staffs that did not click after each missile, our difficulties increased. Their thunder staves still could not pierce our hell-iron, it simply left little dings, but the thick metal held—and it was large enough to cover a demons body near entire. Still, if one of my warriors was caught unawares, or was flanked, these staves could rip right through his body, causing a wound that was shocking in its severity. It was at that point that we became serious. Employing tactics we had used against the armies of men who came to oppose us before. Lined with shields and sword, we protected each other and slew the black armored men—and once again, my warriors were renewed. With the loss of but a few their greatest Wizards were still easy to butcher as long as we treated them with the little respect they deserved. Truly this world would be ours in week, we thought. We enjoyed the plunder, and death for two days as the humans seemed to abandon their hives. Eventually nearly none were left—it was quite the exodus, all things told, very organized. But we knew they’d be hiding in the hills, humans always ran for the hills the old timers said. We tried to make sense of the gibberish they spoke, even capturing some and torturing them to speak correctly. We looked through books, and found nothing familiar. These fools really had fallen from grace, and we were emboldened even more, we’d go root them from their holes and enjoy the fruits of our victory in time....Oh what fools we were.	They arrived last year. At first the reports were ignored. The Possessed were either crazy from the start or hopped up on drugs. The murders were the work of wild animals. Then the Overlords arrived and Hell on Earth could no longer be denied. The first year was a disaster every day. The mountain of dead, on the streets and in our homes, grew larger by the minute. The survivors either turned to prayer, cowered in whatever place they thought safe, or ended their life only to rise again as one of the Fallen. A year was all it took. A year to gather our senses. A year to get braver. A year to grow our strength. On the anniversary of the Rising, we attacked in full force. The Overlords were felled, their minions dispatched. The weight of the world's power, in unison, was flung at the enemy. There was no mercy. The culmination of our efforts was the launching of our nuclear weapons into the breaches. Hell had risen and we had beat it down. Earth is a quieter place now. A better place. We are safer. We are united.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Gather round the campfire, young ones, and I'll tell you the greatest story of old. You see, there was a time when we thought the stories of gods and monsters were just that - stories. But as you all know, early in the twenty-first Century, we realised we were living in one of those stories. In the summer of 2020, the world was wracked with earthquakes. The very magma of the earth was awakened, it seemed. But what bled forth from the underworld was not material or mineral, but monsters. Real monsters. These demons, vile and impossible creatures, were bred for one purpose. To create torment, to inflict pain and to induce fear. They streamed from rents in the earth like a ravening, frothing tide. Great beings of wildfire and ichor, spindly crawlers of iron and blood, even fair temptresses with cat's eyes and honeyed whispers. Many worlds had fallen to them in the past. They broke morale and won the wars before ever they reached the poor creatures that faced them, weeping and bowels emptying in terror. That these personifications of all they feared could also tear them apart once they got to them was almost unnecessary, because few could bear to resist them in any meaningful way. The devils were evil and fear incarnate; it was what they were created for and they knew nothing else. Which was why they failed. They were born cruel, but we humans, we had discovered it for ourselves. And we liked it. Through all the horrors men and women had faced in their fifty thousand year climb from neanderthals to farmers, builders and creators, none had ever been enough to break us. For the truth about humans is that we aren't incredible, nor amazing, at doing any one thing. But we adapt, faster and more readily than anything. The first waves of infernal creatures were enough to end cities and leave nations in ruins... but so what? Had we not done far worse ourselves in the wars? Great clanking, hissing metal and flesh machines might shriek out of the mists and pull victims into their grinding rollers, but was this terror any worse than the armoured tank charges men had stood fast against for over a century? Perhaps the first time a skittering spider-tree the size of a building attacks your squad, you may run in fear. But the second time you hold your ground and shoot back long enough for an orderly retreat. By the fifth, you've already been placing C4 to blow limbs off while a sniper takes out the eyes. A month later and there's a chalk board in the mess with a comical drawing of one dancing in a frying pan and the line 'just add napalm, asshole' and a tally of the squads with the most confirmed kills. The infernal momentum did not hold after the first few weeks. They could send their most single-minded, brutal killers to the front lines as their spearhead, but so could we. And we sent them with Abrams, Raptors and Predators. People adapted. Mankind stumbled briefly before standing up and roaring. Great columns of armoured vehicles stretched to the horizons as nations emptied their arsenals and shared the great reserves of weapons. Millions of men and women armed to the teeth and bred for millions of years to survive and kill other people above all found they had something more to offer. All those killer instincts, but aimed at a great enemy and fighting for our very survival? Bands of brothers will fight to the death for one another and we did. Oh, we did. But we made them die first. We humans have killed each other since the dawn of time, giving us the skills and the utter ingenuity at crafting death weapons and vessels to turn on any foe. The demons had never had such savvy prey as one another. That was why they lost. And when their lines broke on the plains of Africa and the Andes, humans did what they've been doing for a thousand, thousand years. The enemy routed. They ran them down. They smelled victory and they butchered the defeated enemy. They pursued them all the way back to Hades. The hellspawn knew they were utterly lost and they ran as if all the demons of myth and legend were chasing them. Alas they were not so fortunate.	They arrived last year. At first the reports were ignored. The Possessed were either crazy from the start or hopped up on drugs. The murders were the work of wild animals. Then the Overlords arrived and Hell on Earth could no longer be denied. The first year was a disaster every day. The mountain of dead, on the streets and in our homes, grew larger by the minute. The survivors either turned to prayer, cowered in whatever place they thought safe, or ended their life only to rise again as one of the Fallen. A year was all it took. A year to gather our senses. A year to get braver. A year to grow our strength. On the anniversary of the Rising, we attacked in full force. The Overlords were felled, their minions dispatched. The weight of the world's power, in unison, was flung at the enemy. There was no mercy. The culmination of our efforts was the launching of our nuclear weapons into the breaches. Hell had risen and we had beat it down. Earth is a quieter place now. A better place. We are safer. We are united.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	They arrived last year. At first the reports were ignored. The Possessed were either crazy from the start or hopped up on drugs. The murders were the work of wild animals. Then the Overlords arrived and Hell on Earth could no longer be denied. The first year was a disaster every day. The mountain of dead, on the streets and in our homes, grew larger by the minute. The survivors either turned to prayer, cowered in whatever place they thought safe, or ended their life only to rise again as one of the Fallen. A year was all it took. A year to gather our senses. A year to get braver. A year to grow our strength. On the anniversary of the Rising, we attacked in full force. The Overlords were felled, their minions dispatched. The weight of the world's power, in unison, was flung at the enemy. There was no mercy. The culmination of our efforts was the launching of our nuclear weapons into the breaches. Hell had risen and we had beat it down. Earth is a quieter place now. A better place. We are safer. We are united.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	The last testament of Praxel, A Lord of Hell. When the gates began to crackle with energy again it was almost unknown to us, after thousands of years of dormancy the hope of venturing forth as kings and conquerors into the low worlds was all but lost. In a bout of wisdom the old man had stopped meddling in their affairs, realizing that any aid to those lower life forms would inevitably lead them to be worse. His isolation had made it so the source of energy for the gates was gone. We thought we had him to thank when they re-opened, with a surge of energy that didn’t just allow for a few hundred of us to slip through, like it had been millennia ago, but thousands if we wished. The old man had finally forsaken the creatures he took pity on, obviously. Why he ever enjoyed them was a mystery to us to begin with, they were weak, and helpless. His reasoning was at best flimsy “You do not understand how rare sentience is, it’s a mistake of life, trillions and trillions of worlds and we were the last to achieve it billions of years ago. You don’t remember our climb, my misshapen children, but you still enjoy the long life and the powerful bodies its technology provided, even if you have squandered them.” Squandered, the old fool—as if he and his ‘perfect’ little group of sycophants had any room to talk. It did not matter though, they chose their way and we chose our way. The scars from our people’s war still remain evident on our world, a world our ancestors had created to be perfect, somewhere above the low worlds—though how they had done it was lost to us. The old man had stolen the knowledge, and he’d stolen it to protect those sniveling, weak humans, who now existed on a world more pristine than our own, despite it being a low world. Whatever they had done to piss the old man off, we should thank them for we had thought, maybe we’d keep a few as pets since that would really be all they were good for. Some still lived that remember those times when we last saw humanity, they had been part of the small hosts that slipped to their world four millennia ago. They all looked alike, not like us. The smallest of us was their size, but the largest could stretch a dozen feet into the air. Some of us had fur, some of us scales, some skin—all signs of the beauty of expression our people had discovered long ago, on of the magics lost to us now, allowing us to be what we wished. We were stronger than them, one of the old-timers said he could crush a man’s head in his hand. Not that we’d even need to, they died on their own! Their bodies broke down without having to be killed in just a few decades, so weak, it was unfathomable how the old man saw them as more than insects. So of course as the hosts of Hell prepared for war, gathering our swords and armor, we felt nothing but excitement. As the portals opened, we found the humans had infested their world, millions of them crawling in and out of these large hives they had erected like vermin. They were still as weak as ever. I personally killed a dozen, slicing their heads off with ease. The stories about how it took dozens of them with spears to even harm an old timer were evident now, and these humans didn’t have a weapon in sight. As my warriors moved through one of these hives the humans had found and dwelt in, all sorts of treasures were brought to me. One, a sleek little shiny thing seemed to be some kind of mirror that worked in a very odd way, one held it up to something and on the other side of it was the image. One of my warriors had said a human was holding it up trying to steal his soul, apparently. After examining it, though, I assured him such a thing was not possible—it was some trick. It was one of many queer things, like the carriages the humans seemed to move in with no beasts to draw them. Or how they talked into those little mirror things, often times screaming some gibberish; not that the talking was odd, humans often held odd objects to them and muttered things in their final moments. What was odd was how none of them knew our language, the old ones said the Sumerian spoke our tongue with ease after the old man taught them, but now? They seemed to have lost even that grace. Our pride allowed us to take this as another sign they had fallen. But it wasn’t until Iculbun, a small goat looking fellow and a good friend too, fell that we suspected something might be amiss. This human in blue waved something at him that popped—and stung him. Not badly, but enough to draw blood. Inculbun was so incensed he immediately leapt toward the man and ripped his heart out. In his celebration he failed to notice another man by him, this one had some kind of staff. Fire came from the end of it, and a loud thunderous noise—Inculbun jerked as if he’d been punched. The man moved his hand down the staff with a clicking sound and yet more fire rained from it. Inculbun tried to move toward the man but five thunderous roars of that staff later, Inculbun was dead. The old man above, the humans had learned magic, I thought to myself. A swarm of my warriors tore the man to shreds post-haste, but I could see it in their eyes, fear. Oh, my ignorance was great then as I spoke to them, assuring them that we had killed hundreds and only seen but two of these wizards so far, and the one could do little more than hurl useless tiny stones. If this was the limit of humanity’s newfound knowledge of magic, then we had nothing to fear. My warriors even picked up their staffs, and little slings--they let forth a great popping roar a few times but then they stopped working, it seemed like whatever power these Wizards held was fleeting at best. I had thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, this was why the old man had opened the gates again. He never did like it when these creatures tampered in things beyond their understanding, and the mystical arts were things he reserved almost solely for himself. My warriors were renewed. The crusade continued. I should have paid attention to the runners which brought news of other portals, speaking of how large carriages of humans had shown up, with men inside that looked like the Wizards, but had deep black on instead and all of them had staffs of a different sort. Preposterous. If so many Wizards existed, surely there would be more among them then the few we had encountered since our first sighting, I had thought. Almost none of them had those large staffs, the only trick they could do were what we had come to call ‘magic missile’, annoying yes, like the bite of a Frimpltoad, enough to draw blood, but nothing seriously dangerous unless it somewhere truly vulnerable. But even then we were only vulnerable because we’d become careless, we abandoned our large hell-forged shields because they were too heavy and the humans seemed to be helpless. Once my warriors had taken them up again, the thick pieces of iron that weighed nearly what the humans themselves did, the little tricks the Wizards had were useless, they barely scratched the shield. Even the staffs only dented it a little. If this was the extent of human magic, we truly did have little to worry about. However as men in black, soft armor showed up—with their long staffs that did not click after each missile, our difficulties increased. Their thunder staves still could not pierce our hell-iron, it simply left little dings, but the thick metal held—and it was large enough to cover a demons body near entire. Still, if one of my warriors was caught unawares, or was flanked, these staves could rip right through his body, causing a wound that was shocking in its severity. It was at that point that we became serious. Employing tactics we had used against the armies of men who came to oppose us before. Lined with shields and sword, we protected each other and slew the black armored men—and once again, my warriors were renewed. With the loss of but a few their greatest Wizards were still easy to butcher as long as we treated them with the little respect they deserved. Truly this world would be ours in week, we thought. We enjoyed the plunder, and death for two days as the humans seemed to abandon their hives. Eventually nearly none were left—it was quite the exodus, all things told, very organized. But we knew they’d be hiding in the hills, humans always ran for the hills the old timers said. We tried to make sense of the gibberish they spoke, even capturing some and torturing them to speak correctly. We looked through books, and found nothing familiar. These fools really had fallen from grace, and we were emboldened even more, we’d go root them from their holes and enjoy the fruits of our victory in time....Oh what fools we were.	Zephriel was tired. It had been a year - a long, brutally taxing year - since the humans' moral fiber had eroded The Spheres enough for Hell to begin leaking over into Earth. The screams, the chaos - they had been exciting at first. But kill a few million humans, burn a few cities - there were always more of them. Each one the inheritor of generations of cleverness, ingenuity, ideas - - ideas, the little bastards had ideas! Zephriel sidestepped a gaggle of giggling highschoolers, ducking to get under one of the ubiquitous new street lamps that dotted the twisting avenues of his home. Former home; it was unfamiliar to him now. "Excuse..?" Zephriel looked down at the face of a Japanese businessman. The man patiently coughed and Zephriel realized he'd stepped into the man's path. He backpedaled, looking for a new avenue through the throng of laughing, praying, ogling humanity coursing through his beloved Hell. The businessman was soon lost in the press, and Zephriel gamely waded in - careful not to step on or smash the humans who came up to his knees. ------ Ideas. That's what had started all of this - - lawyers, scientists, politicians. They'd gotten in touch somehow, penetrated layers of the understood Hate and Rage and Malice and talked brass tacks at someone with Power. Power enough to get a message to the Big Cheese, the Morning Star. It had quickly snowballed from there; the rampaging hell-monsters were pacified or put down, rogue priests and fallen on both sides likewise. Malcontents and.. racists? No, speciests, had no place in the Unified Earth/Nethersphere Economic Zone. The UENEZ was a place where Daemonic power was exchanged for Earthly delights - - a gaggle of uniformly blonde European students practically skipped by, passing a pair of hellhound puppies between one-another like a hot-potato and upsetting Zephriel's reverie. He pulled his pointed ears down over his glower and turned the corner, nearing his destination. Earthly delights. Fruit! Manicures! Saunas! Zephriel was particularly fond of durian and Swedish massage, but you didn't see him making deals for souls in exclusive exchange for stinky spiked orbs or afternoons with Liam. It seemed uncouth now that it was the humans flooding hell with earwax and drops of virgin blood, propelling the demonic economy into the 21st century. True rarities (you had to be over 18 or 10,0000 to make any deals, as per UENEZ regulations) like virgin blood or an honest smile were in high demand, whereas Zephriel's collection of Maidens' Ecstatic Whimpers was quickly depreciating. Ideas! -- Zephriel disliked offices. In the twentieth century, as mortal power was more and more concentrated in these places he'd had to spend a necessary amount of time in them, but.. he still preferred the old Way. A circle, chanting, perhaps some blood. This was too.. stiff. The androgynous figure behind the desk struck him as odd immediately - not for the androgyny, but its poise. Humans had quickly adapted to take in the various physiologies of the Netherworld, but they weren't usually so damn smug looking about it. "Mister.. Zephriel?" THAT IS CORRECT. "Welcome to UENEZ processing, stage 1. Apologies for our tardiness in processing your case - alphabets are not always fair. Any questions or concerns you have may be fielded by our front desk, which you passed on the way in. Let's get down to it, shall we? It says here on this form that you've control over northern gales and are also wont to "visit maidens in their night's sleep." That's correct, is it?" IN GENERAL TERMS, YES. "Well I've got some global shipping concerns and airlines who have an offer of.. it averages out to about two hundred offerings per day, delivered quarterly, in exchange for your work with them in the northern hemisphere." T- TWO HUNDR- ER. I MEAN. OF COURSE, AS IS MY DUE. Two hundred offerings per day?? Zephriel hadn't received two thousand offerings in the course of his existence, and here they intended to give him that in a little over a week! Zephriel's world spun for a moment. "And, sir/madam, there is also here.. an, erm, more delicate item. A queue of.. ah.. maidens that have submitted their names to the Visitations registry. Under the category.. indecent. That is to say, their full consent is given, as stipulated in UENEZ inter-species associations, for varying degrees of.. friendly interaction." This at least flustered the bureaucrat. Zephriel was hardly less abashed. MAIDEN.. REGISTRY? "That is correct, sir/madam. If you find these terms unacceptable, the exit to your right leads to the Void Gate, and you can take your arguments up with a direct representative of the Morning Star prior to your dissolution in the Ether. If you wish to go that route, fill out these two forms.." - the forms were slid across the otherwise pristine desk - "..and be sure to mention your level of satisfaction with our service." Maidens. Queued. 200 offerings per day. Ideas. I.. THINK NOT. "Excellent! In that case, here is the Binding, if I could please have your Mark here.. and your True Name here.." Zephriel sized up the bureaucrat, noting the evenness of features, the subtle nimbus. Suspiciously.. clear complexion. Of course the meddling hand of the Divine was involved in this. Zephriel grinned, reaching for the paperwork. This seemed quite the era for change.. If the humans could humanize Hell, it was only a matter of time til Heaven would follow. What an interesting.. Idea.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Gather round the campfire, young ones, and I'll tell you the greatest story of old. You see, there was a time when we thought the stories of gods and monsters were just that - stories. But as you all know, early in the twenty-first Century, we realised we were living in one of those stories. In the summer of 2020, the world was wracked with earthquakes. The very magma of the earth was awakened, it seemed. But what bled forth from the underworld was not material or mineral, but monsters. Real monsters. These demons, vile and impossible creatures, were bred for one purpose. To create torment, to inflict pain and to induce fear. They streamed from rents in the earth like a ravening, frothing tide. Great beings of wildfire and ichor, spindly crawlers of iron and blood, even fair temptresses with cat's eyes and honeyed whispers. Many worlds had fallen to them in the past. They broke morale and won the wars before ever they reached the poor creatures that faced them, weeping and bowels emptying in terror. That these personifications of all they feared could also tear them apart once they got to them was almost unnecessary, because few could bear to resist them in any meaningful way. The devils were evil and fear incarnate; it was what they were created for and they knew nothing else. Which was why they failed. They were born cruel, but we humans, we had discovered it for ourselves. And we liked it. Through all the horrors men and women had faced in their fifty thousand year climb from neanderthals to farmers, builders and creators, none had ever been enough to break us. For the truth about humans is that we aren't incredible, nor amazing, at doing any one thing. But we adapt, faster and more readily than anything. The first waves of infernal creatures were enough to end cities and leave nations in ruins... but so what? Had we not done far worse ourselves in the wars? Great clanking, hissing metal and flesh machines might shriek out of the mists and pull victims into their grinding rollers, but was this terror any worse than the armoured tank charges men had stood fast against for over a century? Perhaps the first time a skittering spider-tree the size of a building attacks your squad, you may run in fear. But the second time you hold your ground and shoot back long enough for an orderly retreat. By the fifth, you've already been placing C4 to blow limbs off while a sniper takes out the eyes. A month later and there's a chalk board in the mess with a comical drawing of one dancing in a frying pan and the line 'just add napalm, asshole' and a tally of the squads with the most confirmed kills. The infernal momentum did not hold after the first few weeks. They could send their most single-minded, brutal killers to the front lines as their spearhead, but so could we. And we sent them with Abrams, Raptors and Predators. People adapted. Mankind stumbled briefly before standing up and roaring. Great columns of armoured vehicles stretched to the horizons as nations emptied their arsenals and shared the great reserves of weapons. Millions of men and women armed to the teeth and bred for millions of years to survive and kill other people above all found they had something more to offer. All those killer instincts, but aimed at a great enemy and fighting for our very survival? Bands of brothers will fight to the death for one another and we did. Oh, we did. But we made them die first. We humans have killed each other since the dawn of time, giving us the skills and the utter ingenuity at crafting death weapons and vessels to turn on any foe. The demons had never had such savvy prey as one another. That was why they lost. And when their lines broke on the plains of Africa and the Andes, humans did what they've been doing for a thousand, thousand years. The enemy routed. They ran them down. They smelled victory and they butchered the defeated enemy. They pursued them all the way back to Hades. The hellspawn knew they were utterly lost and they ran as if all the demons of myth and legend were chasing them. Alas they were not so fortunate.	Zephriel was tired. It had been a year - a long, brutally taxing year - since the humans' moral fiber had eroded The Spheres enough for Hell to begin leaking over into Earth. The screams, the chaos - they had been exciting at first. But kill a few million humans, burn a few cities - there were always more of them. Each one the inheritor of generations of cleverness, ingenuity, ideas - - ideas, the little bastards had ideas! Zephriel sidestepped a gaggle of giggling highschoolers, ducking to get under one of the ubiquitous new street lamps that dotted the twisting avenues of his home. Former home; it was unfamiliar to him now. "Excuse..?" Zephriel looked down at the face of a Japanese businessman. The man patiently coughed and Zephriel realized he'd stepped into the man's path. He backpedaled, looking for a new avenue through the throng of laughing, praying, ogling humanity coursing through his beloved Hell. The businessman was soon lost in the press, and Zephriel gamely waded in - careful not to step on or smash the humans who came up to his knees. ------ Ideas. That's what had started all of this - - lawyers, scientists, politicians. They'd gotten in touch somehow, penetrated layers of the understood Hate and Rage and Malice and talked brass tacks at someone with Power. Power enough to get a message to the Big Cheese, the Morning Star. It had quickly snowballed from there; the rampaging hell-monsters were pacified or put down, rogue priests and fallen on both sides likewise. Malcontents and.. racists? No, speciests, had no place in the Unified Earth/Nethersphere Economic Zone. The UENEZ was a place where Daemonic power was exchanged for Earthly delights - - a gaggle of uniformly blonde European students practically skipped by, passing a pair of hellhound puppies between one-another like a hot-potato and upsetting Zephriel's reverie. He pulled his pointed ears down over his glower and turned the corner, nearing his destination. Earthly delights. Fruit! Manicures! Saunas! Zephriel was particularly fond of durian and Swedish massage, but you didn't see him making deals for souls in exclusive exchange for stinky spiked orbs or afternoons with Liam. It seemed uncouth now that it was the humans flooding hell with earwax and drops of virgin blood, propelling the demonic economy into the 21st century. True rarities (you had to be over 18 or 10,0000 to make any deals, as per UENEZ regulations) like virgin blood or an honest smile were in high demand, whereas Zephriel's collection of Maidens' Ecstatic Whimpers was quickly depreciating. Ideas! -- Zephriel disliked offices. In the twentieth century, as mortal power was more and more concentrated in these places he'd had to spend a necessary amount of time in them, but.. he still preferred the old Way. A circle, chanting, perhaps some blood. This was too.. stiff. The androgynous figure behind the desk struck him as odd immediately - not for the androgyny, but its poise. Humans had quickly adapted to take in the various physiologies of the Netherworld, but they weren't usually so damn smug looking about it. "Mister.. Zephriel?" THAT IS CORRECT. "Welcome to UENEZ processing, stage 1. Apologies for our tardiness in processing your case - alphabets are not always fair. Any questions or concerns you have may be fielded by our front desk, which you passed on the way in. Let's get down to it, shall we? It says here on this form that you've control over northern gales and are also wont to "visit maidens in their night's sleep." That's correct, is it?" IN GENERAL TERMS, YES. "Well I've got some global shipping concerns and airlines who have an offer of.. it averages out to about two hundred offerings per day, delivered quarterly, in exchange for your work with them in the northern hemisphere." T- TWO HUNDR- ER. I MEAN. OF COURSE, AS IS MY DUE. Two hundred offerings per day?? Zephriel hadn't received two thousand offerings in the course of his existence, and here they intended to give him that in a little over a week! Zephriel's world spun for a moment. "And, sir/madam, there is also here.. an, erm, more delicate item. A queue of.. ah.. maidens that have submitted their names to the Visitations registry. Under the category.. indecent. That is to say, their full consent is given, as stipulated in UENEZ inter-species associations, for varying degrees of.. friendly interaction." This at least flustered the bureaucrat. Zephriel was hardly less abashed. MAIDEN.. REGISTRY? "That is correct, sir/madam. If you find these terms unacceptable, the exit to your right leads to the Void Gate, and you can take your arguments up with a direct representative of the Morning Star prior to your dissolution in the Ether. If you wish to go that route, fill out these two forms.." - the forms were slid across the otherwise pristine desk - "..and be sure to mention your level of satisfaction with our service." Maidens. Queued. 200 offerings per day. Ideas. I.. THINK NOT. "Excellent! In that case, here is the Binding, if I could please have your Mark here.. and your True Name here.." Zephriel sized up the bureaucrat, noting the evenness of features, the subtle nimbus. Suspiciously.. clear complexion. Of course the meddling hand of the Divine was involved in this. Zephriel grinned, reaching for the paperwork. This seemed quite the era for change.. If the humans could humanize Hell, it was only a matter of time til Heaven would follow. What an interesting.. Idea.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	Zephriel was tired. It had been a year - a long, brutally taxing year - since the humans' moral fiber had eroded The Spheres enough for Hell to begin leaking over into Earth. The screams, the chaos - they had been exciting at first. But kill a few million humans, burn a few cities - there were always more of them. Each one the inheritor of generations of cleverness, ingenuity, ideas - - ideas, the little bastards had ideas! Zephriel sidestepped a gaggle of giggling highschoolers, ducking to get under one of the ubiquitous new street lamps that dotted the twisting avenues of his home. Former home; it was unfamiliar to him now. "Excuse..?" Zephriel looked down at the face of a Japanese businessman. The man patiently coughed and Zephriel realized he'd stepped into the man's path. He backpedaled, looking for a new avenue through the throng of laughing, praying, ogling humanity coursing through his beloved Hell. The businessman was soon lost in the press, and Zephriel gamely waded in - careful not to step on or smash the humans who came up to his knees. ------ Ideas. That's what had started all of this - - lawyers, scientists, politicians. They'd gotten in touch somehow, penetrated layers of the understood Hate and Rage and Malice and talked brass tacks at someone with Power. Power enough to get a message to the Big Cheese, the Morning Star. It had quickly snowballed from there; the rampaging hell-monsters were pacified or put down, rogue priests and fallen on both sides likewise. Malcontents and.. racists? No, speciests, had no place in the Unified Earth/Nethersphere Economic Zone. The UENEZ was a place where Daemonic power was exchanged for Earthly delights - - a gaggle of uniformly blonde European students practically skipped by, passing a pair of hellhound puppies between one-another like a hot-potato and upsetting Zephriel's reverie. He pulled his pointed ears down over his glower and turned the corner, nearing his destination. Earthly delights. Fruit! Manicures! Saunas! Zephriel was particularly fond of durian and Swedish massage, but you didn't see him making deals for souls in exclusive exchange for stinky spiked orbs or afternoons with Liam. It seemed uncouth now that it was the humans flooding hell with earwax and drops of virgin blood, propelling the demonic economy into the 21st century. True rarities (you had to be over 18 or 10,0000 to make any deals, as per UENEZ regulations) like virgin blood or an honest smile were in high demand, whereas Zephriel's collection of Maidens' Ecstatic Whimpers was quickly depreciating. Ideas! -- Zephriel disliked offices. In the twentieth century, as mortal power was more and more concentrated in these places he'd had to spend a necessary amount of time in them, but.. he still preferred the old Way. A circle, chanting, perhaps some blood. This was too.. stiff. The androgynous figure behind the desk struck him as odd immediately - not for the androgyny, but its poise. Humans had quickly adapted to take in the various physiologies of the Netherworld, but they weren't usually so damn smug looking about it. "Mister.. Zephriel?" THAT IS CORRECT. "Welcome to UENEZ processing, stage 1. Apologies for our tardiness in processing your case - alphabets are not always fair. Any questions or concerns you have may be fielded by our front desk, which you passed on the way in. Let's get down to it, shall we? It says here on this form that you've control over northern gales and are also wont to "visit maidens in their night's sleep." That's correct, is it?" IN GENERAL TERMS, YES. "Well I've got some global shipping concerns and airlines who have an offer of.. it averages out to about two hundred offerings per day, delivered quarterly, in exchange for your work with them in the northern hemisphere." T- TWO HUNDR- ER. I MEAN. OF COURSE, AS IS MY DUE. Two hundred offerings per day?? Zephriel hadn't received two thousand offerings in the course of his existence, and here they intended to give him that in a little over a week! Zephriel's world spun for a moment. "And, sir/madam, there is also here.. an, erm, more delicate item. A queue of.. ah.. maidens that have submitted their names to the Visitations registry. Under the category.. indecent. That is to say, their full consent is given, as stipulated in UENEZ inter-species associations, for varying degrees of.. friendly interaction." This at least flustered the bureaucrat. Zephriel was hardly less abashed. MAIDEN.. REGISTRY? "That is correct, sir/madam. If you find these terms unacceptable, the exit to your right leads to the Void Gate, and you can take your arguments up with a direct representative of the Morning Star prior to your dissolution in the Ether. If you wish to go that route, fill out these two forms.." - the forms were slid across the otherwise pristine desk - "..and be sure to mention your level of satisfaction with our service." Maidens. Queued. 200 offerings per day. Ideas. I.. THINK NOT. "Excellent! In that case, here is the Binding, if I could please have your Mark here.. and your True Name here.." Zephriel sized up the bureaucrat, noting the evenness of features, the subtle nimbus. Suspiciously.. clear complexion. Of course the meddling hand of the Divine was involved in this. Zephriel grinned, reaching for the paperwork. This seemed quite the era for change.. If the humans could humanize Hell, it was only a matter of time til Heaven would follow. What an interesting.. Idea.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	The last testament of Praxel, A Lord of Hell. When the gates began to crackle with energy again it was almost unknown to us, after thousands of years of dormancy the hope of venturing forth as kings and conquerors into the low worlds was all but lost. In a bout of wisdom the old man had stopped meddling in their affairs, realizing that any aid to those lower life forms would inevitably lead them to be worse. His isolation had made it so the source of energy for the gates was gone. We thought we had him to thank when they re-opened, with a surge of energy that didn’t just allow for a few hundred of us to slip through, like it had been millennia ago, but thousands if we wished. The old man had finally forsaken the creatures he took pity on, obviously. Why he ever enjoyed them was a mystery to us to begin with, they were weak, and helpless. His reasoning was at best flimsy “You do not understand how rare sentience is, it’s a mistake of life, trillions and trillions of worlds and we were the last to achieve it billions of years ago. You don’t remember our climb, my misshapen children, but you still enjoy the long life and the powerful bodies its technology provided, even if you have squandered them.” Squandered, the old fool—as if he and his ‘perfect’ little group of sycophants had any room to talk. It did not matter though, they chose their way and we chose our way. The scars from our people’s war still remain evident on our world, a world our ancestors had created to be perfect, somewhere above the low worlds—though how they had done it was lost to us. The old man had stolen the knowledge, and he’d stolen it to protect those sniveling, weak humans, who now existed on a world more pristine than our own, despite it being a low world. Whatever they had done to piss the old man off, we should thank them for we had thought, maybe we’d keep a few as pets since that would really be all they were good for. Some still lived that remember those times when we last saw humanity, they had been part of the small hosts that slipped to their world four millennia ago. They all looked alike, not like us. The smallest of us was their size, but the largest could stretch a dozen feet into the air. Some of us had fur, some of us scales, some skin—all signs of the beauty of expression our people had discovered long ago, on of the magics lost to us now, allowing us to be what we wished. We were stronger than them, one of the old-timers said he could crush a man’s head in his hand. Not that we’d even need to, they died on their own! Their bodies broke down without having to be killed in just a few decades, so weak, it was unfathomable how the old man saw them as more than insects. So of course as the hosts of Hell prepared for war, gathering our swords and armor, we felt nothing but excitement. As the portals opened, we found the humans had infested their world, millions of them crawling in and out of these large hives they had erected like vermin. They were still as weak as ever. I personally killed a dozen, slicing their heads off with ease. The stories about how it took dozens of them with spears to even harm an old timer were evident now, and these humans didn’t have a weapon in sight. As my warriors moved through one of these hives the humans had found and dwelt in, all sorts of treasures were brought to me. One, a sleek little shiny thing seemed to be some kind of mirror that worked in a very odd way, one held it up to something and on the other side of it was the image. One of my warriors had said a human was holding it up trying to steal his soul, apparently. After examining it, though, I assured him such a thing was not possible—it was some trick. It was one of many queer things, like the carriages the humans seemed to move in with no beasts to draw them. Or how they talked into those little mirror things, often times screaming some gibberish; not that the talking was odd, humans often held odd objects to them and muttered things in their final moments. What was odd was how none of them knew our language, the old ones said the Sumerian spoke our tongue with ease after the old man taught them, but now? They seemed to have lost even that grace. Our pride allowed us to take this as another sign they had fallen. But it wasn’t until Iculbun, a small goat looking fellow and a good friend too, fell that we suspected something might be amiss. This human in blue waved something at him that popped—and stung him. Not badly, but enough to draw blood. Inculbun was so incensed he immediately leapt toward the man and ripped his heart out. In his celebration he failed to notice another man by him, this one had some kind of staff. Fire came from the end of it, and a loud thunderous noise—Inculbun jerked as if he’d been punched. The man moved his hand down the staff with a clicking sound and yet more fire rained from it. Inculbun tried to move toward the man but five thunderous roars of that staff later, Inculbun was dead. The old man above, the humans had learned magic, I thought to myself. A swarm of my warriors tore the man to shreds post-haste, but I could see it in their eyes, fear. Oh, my ignorance was great then as I spoke to them, assuring them that we had killed hundreds and only seen but two of these wizards so far, and the one could do little more than hurl useless tiny stones. If this was the limit of humanity’s newfound knowledge of magic, then we had nothing to fear. My warriors even picked up their staffs, and little slings--they let forth a great popping roar a few times but then they stopped working, it seemed like whatever power these Wizards held was fleeting at best. I had thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, this was why the old man had opened the gates again. He never did like it when these creatures tampered in things beyond their understanding, and the mystical arts were things he reserved almost solely for himself. My warriors were renewed. The crusade continued. I should have paid attention to the runners which brought news of other portals, speaking of how large carriages of humans had shown up, with men inside that looked like the Wizards, but had deep black on instead and all of them had staffs of a different sort. Preposterous. If so many Wizards existed, surely there would be more among them then the few we had encountered since our first sighting, I had thought. Almost none of them had those large staffs, the only trick they could do were what we had come to call ‘magic missile’, annoying yes, like the bite of a Frimpltoad, enough to draw blood, but nothing seriously dangerous unless it somewhere truly vulnerable. But even then we were only vulnerable because we’d become careless, we abandoned our large hell-forged shields because they were too heavy and the humans seemed to be helpless. Once my warriors had taken them up again, the thick pieces of iron that weighed nearly what the humans themselves did, the little tricks the Wizards had were useless, they barely scratched the shield. Even the staffs only dented it a little. If this was the extent of human magic, we truly did have little to worry about. However as men in black, soft armor showed up—with their long staffs that did not click after each missile, our difficulties increased. Their thunder staves still could not pierce our hell-iron, it simply left little dings, but the thick metal held—and it was large enough to cover a demons body near entire. Still, if one of my warriors was caught unawares, or was flanked, these staves could rip right through his body, causing a wound that was shocking in its severity. It was at that point that we became serious. Employing tactics we had used against the armies of men who came to oppose us before. Lined with shields and sword, we protected each other and slew the black armored men—and once again, my warriors were renewed. With the loss of but a few their greatest Wizards were still easy to butcher as long as we treated them with the little respect they deserved. Truly this world would be ours in week, we thought. We enjoyed the plunder, and death for two days as the humans seemed to abandon their hives. Eventually nearly none were left—it was quite the exodus, all things told, very organized. But we knew they’d be hiding in the hills, humans always ran for the hills the old timers said. We tried to make sense of the gibberish they spoke, even capturing some and torturing them to speak correctly. We looked through books, and found nothing familiar. These fools really had fallen from grace, and we were emboldened even more, we’d go root them from their holes and enjoy the fruits of our victory in time....Oh what fools we were.	Manifest Destiny. There was time when I used to believe that I had choice. I used to go to church everyday, tearing, thinking that one day God would bring me into heaven. My lungs were black from coal, my hands scared and caloused. I try my best with my kids, never hit them, buy them nintendos and pokemons. I worry that they wont be able to take care of their children, that I may be the last generation. But I figure God has a plan and I have faith in their smile. Jesus is about forgiveness, and I do teach them responsibility through chores. Last year, the Devil came. This isnt some metaphor from revelations. Wasnt a 7 headed creature that breathed ice and spat fire. But I knew it was the devil because he brought an army of evil. They came up from Mt St Helens, swooped over to Seattle, came down the west cost and have been trying to spread east. On the news I saw him. He looked young with a crazy look. Clockwork Orange is the best way I could describe it. His smile was inviting, I thought about leaving once or twice, I confess. They live as dominants to young liberal submissives. I bet they all have crazy parties. Last party I had was when I was 16. I got bullets which I then had to use for hunting scarce animals for extra cash. Well, I imagine they wont last forever. Many of the weakest are used as the frontlines to invade eastward. Its sad seeing it on the news. Theyll come for Kentucky eventually, but its so far away. But Ive been reading. Apparently, theres diamonds in hell. Apparently theres iron and a bunch of materials that are pretty expensive. A prospector went down there through Russia, theyre talking motherload. Im thinking money. Retirement. All these years if hardwork, paying off. Theres been whispering of "Manifest Destiny". We all know the US will take over the world, only matter of time. So maybe its time to take on hell. On the news, politicians seem to have a confident smile. They dont seem worried Silicon Valley is preparing their robot army. Or that Los Angeles has been sending cult leaders to Minnisota and Mississippi. Blood for oil. Hey, I dont blame them. I wouldnt mind killing a few horned horse people myself. Well goat people. And then a big payoff?! Hoooweee! Just thinking about it gets me excited! Ding Dong Jimmy got up from his desk. Took off his glasses abd placed them down on the table. Wiped his eyes. "All this dreaming, is it a sin? Please forgive me lord" he whispered. He grabbed his pistol and holster and put it on. The floor gave out hollow echos as he walked to the front door. Theme songs could be heard faintly from the other room. A half angry smile smile came accross his face "You kids do your homework?!" He knew no answer would be replied, worth a try though. He approached the front door, a pale periwinkle. "Hey, Darel! Whats the deal?!" Darel had a crazy smile. An M249 on his back and coveres in ammunition belts. His red beard and shadowed face contrasted against the bright green Kentucky forest. The sun sure was happy today. "Its time." He handed an article to Jimmy. "Money for Nothing, Hell is Free". Jimmy recoiled. "The US army in conjunction with A coalition of military forces will be scaling an assault on hell in the next coming weeks. President Trump remarked that this is a 'huge opportunity for all americans who want to strike it big. Theres so much out there. Im telling you people, go. We will protect you. Become rich. Your only going to make a billion dollars if you take risks, believe me.'" Jimmy smiled at Darel, "I like Trump". Darel nodded with great energy then continued looking at the paper excited to hear more. "The US military enacting a tactic known as 'Community Fortification'. All US citizens are invited to participate, and if selected will be instrumental to ensuring a peaceful and prosperous coexistance between hell and earth. You will be given food, water, free travel and all necessities required to mine and provide for your family." Jimmy stared off into the ground. Years of sacrifice and jealousy started to burn. The image of a 3 story house in nebraska. Having lemonade with Warren Buffet. Going down to hell and seeing demons mine his plot of land. Being invited to white house and given a medal for bravery. "Kids! Pack your bags! We're going to hell!"
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Gather round the campfire, young ones, and I'll tell you the greatest story of old. You see, there was a time when we thought the stories of gods and monsters were just that - stories. But as you all know, early in the twenty-first Century, we realised we were living in one of those stories. In the summer of 2020, the world was wracked with earthquakes. The very magma of the earth was awakened, it seemed. But what bled forth from the underworld was not material or mineral, but monsters. Real monsters. These demons, vile and impossible creatures, were bred for one purpose. To create torment, to inflict pain and to induce fear. They streamed from rents in the earth like a ravening, frothing tide. Great beings of wildfire and ichor, spindly crawlers of iron and blood, even fair temptresses with cat's eyes and honeyed whispers. Many worlds had fallen to them in the past. They broke morale and won the wars before ever they reached the poor creatures that faced them, weeping and bowels emptying in terror. That these personifications of all they feared could also tear them apart once they got to them was almost unnecessary, because few could bear to resist them in any meaningful way. The devils were evil and fear incarnate; it was what they were created for and they knew nothing else. Which was why they failed. They were born cruel, but we humans, we had discovered it for ourselves. And we liked it. Through all the horrors men and women had faced in their fifty thousand year climb from neanderthals to farmers, builders and creators, none had ever been enough to break us. For the truth about humans is that we aren't incredible, nor amazing, at doing any one thing. But we adapt, faster and more readily than anything. The first waves of infernal creatures were enough to end cities and leave nations in ruins... but so what? Had we not done far worse ourselves in the wars? Great clanking, hissing metal and flesh machines might shriek out of the mists and pull victims into their grinding rollers, but was this terror any worse than the armoured tank charges men had stood fast against for over a century? Perhaps the first time a skittering spider-tree the size of a building attacks your squad, you may run in fear. But the second time you hold your ground and shoot back long enough for an orderly retreat. By the fifth, you've already been placing C4 to blow limbs off while a sniper takes out the eyes. A month later and there's a chalk board in the mess with a comical drawing of one dancing in a frying pan and the line 'just add napalm, asshole' and a tally of the squads with the most confirmed kills. The infernal momentum did not hold after the first few weeks. They could send their most single-minded, brutal killers to the front lines as their spearhead, but so could we. And we sent them with Abrams, Raptors and Predators. People adapted. Mankind stumbled briefly before standing up and roaring. Great columns of armoured vehicles stretched to the horizons as nations emptied their arsenals and shared the great reserves of weapons. Millions of men and women armed to the teeth and bred for millions of years to survive and kill other people above all found they had something more to offer. All those killer instincts, but aimed at a great enemy and fighting for our very survival? Bands of brothers will fight to the death for one another and we did. Oh, we did. But we made them die first. We humans have killed each other since the dawn of time, giving us the skills and the utter ingenuity at crafting death weapons and vessels to turn on any foe. The demons had never had such savvy prey as one another. That was why they lost. And when their lines broke on the plains of Africa and the Andes, humans did what they've been doing for a thousand, thousand years. The enemy routed. They ran them down. They smelled victory and they butchered the defeated enemy. They pursued them all the way back to Hades. The hellspawn knew they were utterly lost and they ran as if all the demons of myth and legend were chasing them. Alas they were not so fortunate.	Manifest Destiny. There was time when I used to believe that I had choice. I used to go to church everyday, tearing, thinking that one day God would bring me into heaven. My lungs were black from coal, my hands scared and caloused. I try my best with my kids, never hit them, buy them nintendos and pokemons. I worry that they wont be able to take care of their children, that I may be the last generation. But I figure God has a plan and I have faith in their smile. Jesus is about forgiveness, and I do teach them responsibility through chores. Last year, the Devil came. This isnt some metaphor from revelations. Wasnt a 7 headed creature that breathed ice and spat fire. But I knew it was the devil because he brought an army of evil. They came up from Mt St Helens, swooped over to Seattle, came down the west cost and have been trying to spread east. On the news I saw him. He looked young with a crazy look. Clockwork Orange is the best way I could describe it. His smile was inviting, I thought about leaving once or twice, I confess. They live as dominants to young liberal submissives. I bet they all have crazy parties. Last party I had was when I was 16. I got bullets which I then had to use for hunting scarce animals for extra cash. Well, I imagine they wont last forever. Many of the weakest are used as the frontlines to invade eastward. Its sad seeing it on the news. Theyll come for Kentucky eventually, but its so far away. But Ive been reading. Apparently, theres diamonds in hell. Apparently theres iron and a bunch of materials that are pretty expensive. A prospector went down there through Russia, theyre talking motherload. Im thinking money. Retirement. All these years if hardwork, paying off. Theres been whispering of "Manifest Destiny". We all know the US will take over the world, only matter of time. So maybe its time to take on hell. On the news, politicians seem to have a confident smile. They dont seem worried Silicon Valley is preparing their robot army. Or that Los Angeles has been sending cult leaders to Minnisota and Mississippi. Blood for oil. Hey, I dont blame them. I wouldnt mind killing a few horned horse people myself. Well goat people. And then a big payoff?! Hoooweee! Just thinking about it gets me excited! Ding Dong Jimmy got up from his desk. Took off his glasses abd placed them down on the table. Wiped his eyes. "All this dreaming, is it a sin? Please forgive me lord" he whispered. He grabbed his pistol and holster and put it on. The floor gave out hollow echos as he walked to the front door. Theme songs could be heard faintly from the other room. A half angry smile smile came accross his face "You kids do your homework?!" He knew no answer would be replied, worth a try though. He approached the front door, a pale periwinkle. "Hey, Darel! Whats the deal?!" Darel had a crazy smile. An M249 on his back and coveres in ammunition belts. His red beard and shadowed face contrasted against the bright green Kentucky forest. The sun sure was happy today. "Its time." He handed an article to Jimmy. "Money for Nothing, Hell is Free". Jimmy recoiled. "The US army in conjunction with A coalition of military forces will be scaling an assault on hell in the next coming weeks. President Trump remarked that this is a 'huge opportunity for all americans who want to strike it big. Theres so much out there. Im telling you people, go. We will protect you. Become rich. Your only going to make a billion dollars if you take risks, believe me.'" Jimmy smiled at Darel, "I like Trump". Darel nodded with great energy then continued looking at the paper excited to hear more. "The US military enacting a tactic known as 'Community Fortification'. All US citizens are invited to participate, and if selected will be instrumental to ensuring a peaceful and prosperous coexistance between hell and earth. You will be given food, water, free travel and all necessities required to mine and provide for your family." Jimmy stared off into the ground. Years of sacrifice and jealousy started to burn. The image of a 3 story house in nebraska. Having lemonade with Warren Buffet. Going down to hell and seeing demons mine his plot of land. Being invited to white house and given a medal for bravery. "Kids! Pack your bags! We're going to hell!"
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Polanski: HOLY FUCK THEY GOT TO EARTH?! Rider: The demons? "Sigh", seems like taking over our station in Mars wasn't enough. Polanski: Sir, please tell me we can kill them. Rider: Yes and to kil- wait a second, my men just brung in a live demon, I'll bring the phone closer to it. Rider: What's up jackass, you speak English? "Demon": You have to let me go! We only invaded earth to escape him! Rider: Well, that was unexpected, you do speak English, who is HIM? "Demon": He was the sole survivor of our invasion of what you call Mars, you must understand our invasion of your planet is a battle for survival, not for war. Rider: Shit, where is he now? In Hell? "Demon": Yes no- "gunshots" Rider: Thanks dumbass, we got all we needed. Polanski please make your way back to UAC command. "Soldier": Sir! We just found a picture of who the demon is referring to. Rider: Who the fuck is Doomguy? If he's in there who don't need to invade Hell, just defend our home. Maybe demons should learn to defend their homes as well.	Manifest Destiny. There was time when I used to believe that I had choice. I used to go to church everyday, tearing, thinking that one day God would bring me into heaven. My lungs were black from coal, my hands scared and caloused. I try my best with my kids, never hit them, buy them nintendos and pokemons. I worry that they wont be able to take care of their children, that I may be the last generation. But I figure God has a plan and I have faith in their smile. Jesus is about forgiveness, and I do teach them responsibility through chores. Last year, the Devil came. This isnt some metaphor from revelations. Wasnt a 7 headed creature that breathed ice and spat fire. But I knew it was the devil because he brought an army of evil. They came up from Mt St Helens, swooped over to Seattle, came down the west cost and have been trying to spread east. On the news I saw him. He looked young with a crazy look. Clockwork Orange is the best way I could describe it. His smile was inviting, I thought about leaving once or twice, I confess. They live as dominants to young liberal submissives. I bet they all have crazy parties. Last party I had was when I was 16. I got bullets which I then had to use for hunting scarce animals for extra cash. Well, I imagine they wont last forever. Many of the weakest are used as the frontlines to invade eastward. Its sad seeing it on the news. Theyll come for Kentucky eventually, but its so far away. But Ive been reading. Apparently, theres diamonds in hell. Apparently theres iron and a bunch of materials that are pretty expensive. A prospector went down there through Russia, theyre talking motherload. Im thinking money. Retirement. All these years if hardwork, paying off. Theres been whispering of "Manifest Destiny". We all know the US will take over the world, only matter of time. So maybe its time to take on hell. On the news, politicians seem to have a confident smile. They dont seem worried Silicon Valley is preparing their robot army. Or that Los Angeles has been sending cult leaders to Minnisota and Mississippi. Blood for oil. Hey, I dont blame them. I wouldnt mind killing a few horned horse people myself. Well goat people. And then a big payoff?! Hoooweee! Just thinking about it gets me excited! Ding Dong Jimmy got up from his desk. Took off his glasses abd placed them down on the table. Wiped his eyes. "All this dreaming, is it a sin? Please forgive me lord" he whispered. He grabbed his pistol and holster and put it on. The floor gave out hollow echos as he walked to the front door. Theme songs could be heard faintly from the other room. A half angry smile smile came accross his face "You kids do your homework?!" He knew no answer would be replied, worth a try though. He approached the front door, a pale periwinkle. "Hey, Darel! Whats the deal?!" Darel had a crazy smile. An M249 on his back and coveres in ammunition belts. His red beard and shadowed face contrasted against the bright green Kentucky forest. The sun sure was happy today. "Its time." He handed an article to Jimmy. "Money for Nothing, Hell is Free". Jimmy recoiled. "The US army in conjunction with A coalition of military forces will be scaling an assault on hell in the next coming weeks. President Trump remarked that this is a 'huge opportunity for all americans who want to strike it big. Theres so much out there. Im telling you people, go. We will protect you. Become rich. Your only going to make a billion dollars if you take risks, believe me.'" Jimmy smiled at Darel, "I like Trump". Darel nodded with great energy then continued looking at the paper excited to hear more. "The US military enacting a tactic known as 'Community Fortification'. All US citizens are invited to participate, and if selected will be instrumental to ensuring a peaceful and prosperous coexistance between hell and earth. You will be given food, water, free travel and all necessities required to mine and provide for your family." Jimmy stared off into the ground. Years of sacrifice and jealousy started to burn. The image of a 3 story house in nebraska. Having lemonade with Warren Buffet. Going down to hell and seeing demons mine his plot of land. Being invited to white house and given a medal for bravery. "Kids! Pack your bags! We're going to hell!"
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	Manifest Destiny. There was time when I used to believe that I had choice. I used to go to church everyday, tearing, thinking that one day God would bring me into heaven. My lungs were black from coal, my hands scared and caloused. I try my best with my kids, never hit them, buy them nintendos and pokemons. I worry that they wont be able to take care of their children, that I may be the last generation. But I figure God has a plan and I have faith in their smile. Jesus is about forgiveness, and I do teach them responsibility through chores. Last year, the Devil came. This isnt some metaphor from revelations. Wasnt a 7 headed creature that breathed ice and spat fire. But I knew it was the devil because he brought an army of evil. They came up from Mt St Helens, swooped over to Seattle, came down the west cost and have been trying to spread east. On the news I saw him. He looked young with a crazy look. Clockwork Orange is the best way I could describe it. His smile was inviting, I thought about leaving once or twice, I confess. They live as dominants to young liberal submissives. I bet they all have crazy parties. Last party I had was when I was 16. I got bullets which I then had to use for hunting scarce animals for extra cash. Well, I imagine they wont last forever. Many of the weakest are used as the frontlines to invade eastward. Its sad seeing it on the news. Theyll come for Kentucky eventually, but its so far away. But Ive been reading. Apparently, theres diamonds in hell. Apparently theres iron and a bunch of materials that are pretty expensive. A prospector went down there through Russia, theyre talking motherload. Im thinking money. Retirement. All these years if hardwork, paying off. Theres been whispering of "Manifest Destiny". We all know the US will take over the world, only matter of time. So maybe its time to take on hell. On the news, politicians seem to have a confident smile. They dont seem worried Silicon Valley is preparing their robot army. Or that Los Angeles has been sending cult leaders to Minnisota and Mississippi. Blood for oil. Hey, I dont blame them. I wouldnt mind killing a few horned horse people myself. Well goat people. And then a big payoff?! Hoooweee! Just thinking about it gets me excited! Ding Dong Jimmy got up from his desk. Took off his glasses abd placed them down on the table. Wiped his eyes. "All this dreaming, is it a sin? Please forgive me lord" he whispered. He grabbed his pistol and holster and put it on. The floor gave out hollow echos as he walked to the front door. Theme songs could be heard faintly from the other room. A half angry smile smile came accross his face "You kids do your homework?!" He knew no answer would be replied, worth a try though. He approached the front door, a pale periwinkle. "Hey, Darel! Whats the deal?!" Darel had a crazy smile. An M249 on his back and coveres in ammunition belts. His red beard and shadowed face contrasted against the bright green Kentucky forest. The sun sure was happy today. "Its time." He handed an article to Jimmy. "Money for Nothing, Hell is Free". Jimmy recoiled. "The US army in conjunction with A coalition of military forces will be scaling an assault on hell in the next coming weeks. President Trump remarked that this is a 'huge opportunity for all americans who want to strike it big. Theres so much out there. Im telling you people, go. We will protect you. Become rich. Your only going to make a billion dollars if you take risks, believe me.'" Jimmy smiled at Darel, "I like Trump". Darel nodded with great energy then continued looking at the paper excited to hear more. "The US military enacting a tactic known as 'Community Fortification'. All US citizens are invited to participate, and if selected will be instrumental to ensuring a peaceful and prosperous coexistance between hell and earth. You will be given food, water, free travel and all necessities required to mine and provide for your family." Jimmy stared off into the ground. Years of sacrifice and jealousy started to burn. The image of a 3 story house in nebraska. Having lemonade with Warren Buffet. Going down to hell and seeing demons mine his plot of land. Being invited to white house and given a medal for bravery. "Kids! Pack your bags! We're going to hell!"
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	When they first rose from that damnable abyss we scattered like ants across the surface of the globe, but we didn't hide forever. Even within the first weeks those with weapons would conduct hit and run tactics against the ever encroaching army while those in charge attempted to put together a more suitable strategy. Sure there were people who would shout and scream till they were blue in the face trying to convince us that god was the only one who could save us, but those prayers and pleas fell on deaf ears. God had truly abandoned us, but we were no longer the scared and helpless world we were before. We had rifles to gun them down, missiles to lay waste to their army, and the same amount of mercy they showed us. It didn't take long for us to push them back just as hard as they pushed us, but no matter the encounter we suffered losses. By the time a full year had passed we were sure we would lose. Hopelessly, and with no where left to turn we prayed to God once more, but it wasn't him who answered the call for help. When we saw our soldiers charge from out the hellish maw that their armies advanced from our first thoughts turned to betrayal. It was only when our allies began to commence flanking attacks on the demons and devils that we knew we had them beat. Who was to watch over the slave pits when you needed every available troop to stop the marching advances of humanity? In the end, it wasn't just our former allies that rose from hell to push back the devils, but every soul ever sentenced to pain and agony for the crimes they had committed. We became brutal, engaging in suicide attacks every time we charged forwards. Death could not contain us, and every man and woman who fell on the battlefield came marching out of that fiery gate. Our fallen invading Hell from within. Even Satan could not beat us, we bathed him in nuclear fire until the only thing left was a puddle of radioactive sludge. We had no fear of using these weapons of destruction anymore. There was agony, but life for us was eternal. In the end we had proved that our numbers, and our savage human nature had won out over the forces of hell. There was no one preaching love anymore, love and piousness hadn't won the war. With our last great enemy defeated, we grew restless, we needed more. We all stood in hell, surrounding Satan's toppled throne when we made the decision to keep our endless march moving forward. We as one turned our eyes to sky, marched out of that portal, and in 2023 we invaded heaven.	Manifest Destiny. There was time when I used to believe that I had choice. I used to go to church everyday, tearing, thinking that one day God would bring me into heaven. My lungs were black from coal, my hands scared and caloused. I try my best with my kids, never hit them, buy them nintendos and pokemons. I worry that they wont be able to take care of their children, that I may be the last generation. But I figure God has a plan and I have faith in their smile. Jesus is about forgiveness, and I do teach them responsibility through chores. Last year, the Devil came. This isnt some metaphor from revelations. Wasnt a 7 headed creature that breathed ice and spat fire. But I knew it was the devil because he brought an army of evil. They came up from Mt St Helens, swooped over to Seattle, came down the west cost and have been trying to spread east. On the news I saw him. He looked young with a crazy look. Clockwork Orange is the best way I could describe it. His smile was inviting, I thought about leaving once or twice, I confess. They live as dominants to young liberal submissives. I bet they all have crazy parties. Last party I had was when I was 16. I got bullets which I then had to use for hunting scarce animals for extra cash. Well, I imagine they wont last forever. Many of the weakest are used as the frontlines to invade eastward. Its sad seeing it on the news. Theyll come for Kentucky eventually, but its so far away. But Ive been reading. Apparently, theres diamonds in hell. Apparently theres iron and a bunch of materials that are pretty expensive. A prospector went down there through Russia, theyre talking motherload. Im thinking money. Retirement. All these years if hardwork, paying off. Theres been whispering of "Manifest Destiny". We all know the US will take over the world, only matter of time. So maybe its time to take on hell. On the news, politicians seem to have a confident smile. They dont seem worried Silicon Valley is preparing their robot army. Or that Los Angeles has been sending cult leaders to Minnisota and Mississippi. Blood for oil. Hey, I dont blame them. I wouldnt mind killing a few horned horse people myself. Well goat people. And then a big payoff?! Hoooweee! Just thinking about it gets me excited! Ding Dong Jimmy got up from his desk. Took off his glasses abd placed them down on the table. Wiped his eyes. "All this dreaming, is it a sin? Please forgive me lord" he whispered. He grabbed his pistol and holster and put it on. The floor gave out hollow echos as he walked to the front door. Theme songs could be heard faintly from the other room. A half angry smile smile came accross his face "You kids do your homework?!" He knew no answer would be replied, worth a try though. He approached the front door, a pale periwinkle. "Hey, Darel! Whats the deal?!" Darel had a crazy smile. An M249 on his back and coveres in ammunition belts. His red beard and shadowed face contrasted against the bright green Kentucky forest. The sun sure was happy today. "Its time." He handed an article to Jimmy. "Money for Nothing, Hell is Free". Jimmy recoiled. "The US army in conjunction with A coalition of military forces will be scaling an assault on hell in the next coming weeks. President Trump remarked that this is a 'huge opportunity for all americans who want to strike it big. Theres so much out there. Im telling you people, go. We will protect you. Become rich. Your only going to make a billion dollars if you take risks, believe me.'" Jimmy smiled at Darel, "I like Trump". Darel nodded with great energy then continued looking at the paper excited to hear more. "The US military enacting a tactic known as 'Community Fortification'. All US citizens are invited to participate, and if selected will be instrumental to ensuring a peaceful and prosperous coexistance between hell and earth. You will be given food, water, free travel and all necessities required to mine and provide for your family." Jimmy stared off into the ground. Years of sacrifice and jealousy started to burn. The image of a 3 story house in nebraska. Having lemonade with Warren Buffet. Going down to hell and seeing demons mine his plot of land. Being invited to white house and given a medal for bravery. "Kids! Pack your bags! We're going to hell!"
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"This was a bad idea." General Partridge stared across the bleak landscape as Private Graves approached him. After a hard fought battle, the General's forces had made a grinding advancement up the fortified hill and had captured the outpost at its summit. The demon spawn had made hasty retreat, scurrying away from the area to regroup. Without delay, Graves had been commissioned to conduct a thorough review of the area, to determine exactly what they had captured. "I have the report sir." Graves spoke nervously. "Why did we think this was a good idea again?" General Partridge turned to Graves, a quiet confoundment in his eyes. "I mean am I right in saying that it's Hell?" "Yes sir." Graves replied. "Like as far as you went it was just all still Hell?" "Yes sir." General Partridge sat down on an outcrop of cooling Brimstone. "You know Graves." He sighed "When Hell invaded us a year ago, I was horrified. I was appalled but you know what... at least I understood it. They wanted our world, our plentiful resources, our sunlight and cool breezes. They wanted to escape the endless torment of an infinite hell dimension. So why did we respond by sending our global armies to capture it? A territory historically documented as the worst place ever. I mean, have we found any food?" "No sir." "Any oil reserves?" "Yes... but they're all on fire, Sir." "Any water sources?" "... Also on fire, Sir." "Great." Partridge sank back against the course rock wall. "How many demons did we kill?" "We're reporting over 800 sir but..." "But?" Partridge, sensing Graves' reluctance, fixed him with an unbreaking stare. Graves finally relented, unable to look his superior in the eye as he spoke. "Well they're the damned so... when we kill them they go to Hell." "Which is here." "Yes sir." "Fucking fantastic." Partridge uncapped his hipflask and took a much needed swig. "But we've advanced? The front line has moved?" "Yes by two miles sir." "And how much of Hell is that?" "Well sir, Hell is infinite so our current land gain is..." "So small it's not even mathematically calculable." "Yes sir. Our usual advancement measures are based on terrain that..." "Ends?" "Well yes sir." General Partridge looked out across the bleak landscape. Private Graves at his side. "This was a bad idea."	Manifest Destiny. There was time when I used to believe that I had choice. I used to go to church everyday, tearing, thinking that one day God would bring me into heaven. My lungs were black from coal, my hands scared and caloused. I try my best with my kids, never hit them, buy them nintendos and pokemons. I worry that they wont be able to take care of their children, that I may be the last generation. But I figure God has a plan and I have faith in their smile. Jesus is about forgiveness, and I do teach them responsibility through chores. Last year, the Devil came. This isnt some metaphor from revelations. Wasnt a 7 headed creature that breathed ice and spat fire. But I knew it was the devil because he brought an army of evil. They came up from Mt St Helens, swooped over to Seattle, came down the west cost and have been trying to spread east. On the news I saw him. He looked young with a crazy look. Clockwork Orange is the best way I could describe it. His smile was inviting, I thought about leaving once or twice, I confess. They live as dominants to young liberal submissives. I bet they all have crazy parties. Last party I had was when I was 16. I got bullets which I then had to use for hunting scarce animals for extra cash. Well, I imagine they wont last forever. Many of the weakest are used as the frontlines to invade eastward. Its sad seeing it on the news. Theyll come for Kentucky eventually, but its so far away. But Ive been reading. Apparently, theres diamonds in hell. Apparently theres iron and a bunch of materials that are pretty expensive. A prospector went down there through Russia, theyre talking motherload. Im thinking money. Retirement. All these years if hardwork, paying off. Theres been whispering of "Manifest Destiny". We all know the US will take over the world, only matter of time. So maybe its time to take on hell. On the news, politicians seem to have a confident smile. They dont seem worried Silicon Valley is preparing their robot army. Or that Los Angeles has been sending cult leaders to Minnisota and Mississippi. Blood for oil. Hey, I dont blame them. I wouldnt mind killing a few horned horse people myself. Well goat people. And then a big payoff?! Hoooweee! Just thinking about it gets me excited! Ding Dong Jimmy got up from his desk. Took off his glasses abd placed them down on the table. Wiped his eyes. "All this dreaming, is it a sin? Please forgive me lord" he whispered. He grabbed his pistol and holster and put it on. The floor gave out hollow echos as he walked to the front door. Theme songs could be heard faintly from the other room. A half angry smile smile came accross his face "You kids do your homework?!" He knew no answer would be replied, worth a try though. He approached the front door, a pale periwinkle. "Hey, Darel! Whats the deal?!" Darel had a crazy smile. An M249 on his back and coveres in ammunition belts. His red beard and shadowed face contrasted against the bright green Kentucky forest. The sun sure was happy today. "Its time." He handed an article to Jimmy. "Money for Nothing, Hell is Free". Jimmy recoiled. "The US army in conjunction with A coalition of military forces will be scaling an assault on hell in the next coming weeks. President Trump remarked that this is a 'huge opportunity for all americans who want to strike it big. Theres so much out there. Im telling you people, go. We will protect you. Become rich. Your only going to make a billion dollars if you take risks, believe me.'" Jimmy smiled at Darel, "I like Trump". Darel nodded with great energy then continued looking at the paper excited to hear more. "The US military enacting a tactic known as 'Community Fortification'. All US citizens are invited to participate, and if selected will be instrumental to ensuring a peaceful and prosperous coexistance between hell and earth. You will be given food, water, free travel and all necessities required to mine and provide for your family." Jimmy stared off into the ground. Years of sacrifice and jealousy started to burn. The image of a 3 story house in nebraska. Having lemonade with Warren Buffet. Going down to hell and seeing demons mine his plot of land. Being invited to white house and given a medal for bravery. "Kids! Pack your bags! We're going to hell!"
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Gather round the campfire, young ones, and I'll tell you the greatest story of old. You see, there was a time when we thought the stories of gods and monsters were just that - stories. But as you all know, early in the twenty-first Century, we realised we were living in one of those stories. In the summer of 2020, the world was wracked with earthquakes. The very magma of the earth was awakened, it seemed. But what bled forth from the underworld was not material or mineral, but monsters. Real monsters. These demons, vile and impossible creatures, were bred for one purpose. To create torment, to inflict pain and to induce fear. They streamed from rents in the earth like a ravening, frothing tide. Great beings of wildfire and ichor, spindly crawlers of iron and blood, even fair temptresses with cat's eyes and honeyed whispers. Many worlds had fallen to them in the past. They broke morale and won the wars before ever they reached the poor creatures that faced them, weeping and bowels emptying in terror. That these personifications of all they feared could also tear them apart once they got to them was almost unnecessary, because few could bear to resist them in any meaningful way. The devils were evil and fear incarnate; it was what they were created for and they knew nothing else. Which was why they failed. They were born cruel, but we humans, we had discovered it for ourselves. And we liked it. Through all the horrors men and women had faced in their fifty thousand year climb from neanderthals to farmers, builders and creators, none had ever been enough to break us. For the truth about humans is that we aren't incredible, nor amazing, at doing any one thing. But we adapt, faster and more readily than anything. The first waves of infernal creatures were enough to end cities and leave nations in ruins... but so what? Had we not done far worse ourselves in the wars? Great clanking, hissing metal and flesh machines might shriek out of the mists and pull victims into their grinding rollers, but was this terror any worse than the armoured tank charges men had stood fast against for over a century? Perhaps the first time a skittering spider-tree the size of a building attacks your squad, you may run in fear. But the second time you hold your ground and shoot back long enough for an orderly retreat. By the fifth, you've already been placing C4 to blow limbs off while a sniper takes out the eyes. A month later and there's a chalk board in the mess with a comical drawing of one dancing in a frying pan and the line 'just add napalm, asshole' and a tally of the squads with the most confirmed kills. The infernal momentum did not hold after the first few weeks. They could send their most single-minded, brutal killers to the front lines as their spearhead, but so could we. And we sent them with Abrams, Raptors and Predators. People adapted. Mankind stumbled briefly before standing up and roaring. Great columns of armoured vehicles stretched to the horizons as nations emptied their arsenals and shared the great reserves of weapons. Millions of men and women armed to the teeth and bred for millions of years to survive and kill other people above all found they had something more to offer. All those killer instincts, but aimed at a great enemy and fighting for our very survival? Bands of brothers will fight to the death for one another and we did. Oh, we did. But we made them die first. We humans have killed each other since the dawn of time, giving us the skills and the utter ingenuity at crafting death weapons and vessels to turn on any foe. The demons had never had such savvy prey as one another. That was why they lost. And when their lines broke on the plains of Africa and the Andes, humans did what they've been doing for a thousand, thousand years. The enemy routed. They ran them down. They smelled victory and they butchered the defeated enemy. They pursued them all the way back to Hades. The hellspawn knew they were utterly lost and they ran as if all the demons of myth and legend were chasing them. Alas they were not so fortunate.	The last testament of Praxel, A Lord of Hell. When the gates began to crackle with energy again it was almost unknown to us, after thousands of years of dormancy the hope of venturing forth as kings and conquerors into the low worlds was all but lost. In a bout of wisdom the old man had stopped meddling in their affairs, realizing that any aid to those lower life forms would inevitably lead them to be worse. His isolation had made it so the source of energy for the gates was gone. We thought we had him to thank when they re-opened, with a surge of energy that didn’t just allow for a few hundred of us to slip through, like it had been millennia ago, but thousands if we wished. The old man had finally forsaken the creatures he took pity on, obviously. Why he ever enjoyed them was a mystery to us to begin with, they were weak, and helpless. His reasoning was at best flimsy “You do not understand how rare sentience is, it’s a mistake of life, trillions and trillions of worlds and we were the last to achieve it billions of years ago. You don’t remember our climb, my misshapen children, but you still enjoy the long life and the powerful bodies its technology provided, even if you have squandered them.” Squandered, the old fool—as if he and his ‘perfect’ little group of sycophants had any room to talk. It did not matter though, they chose their way and we chose our way. The scars from our people’s war still remain evident on our world, a world our ancestors had created to be perfect, somewhere above the low worlds—though how they had done it was lost to us. The old man had stolen the knowledge, and he’d stolen it to protect those sniveling, weak humans, who now existed on a world more pristine than our own, despite it being a low world. Whatever they had done to piss the old man off, we should thank them for we had thought, maybe we’d keep a few as pets since that would really be all they were good for. Some still lived that remember those times when we last saw humanity, they had been part of the small hosts that slipped to their world four millennia ago. They all looked alike, not like us. The smallest of us was their size, but the largest could stretch a dozen feet into the air. Some of us had fur, some of us scales, some skin—all signs of the beauty of expression our people had discovered long ago, on of the magics lost to us now, allowing us to be what we wished. We were stronger than them, one of the old-timers said he could crush a man’s head in his hand. Not that we’d even need to, they died on their own! Their bodies broke down without having to be killed in just a few decades, so weak, it was unfathomable how the old man saw them as more than insects. So of course as the hosts of Hell prepared for war, gathering our swords and armor, we felt nothing but excitement. As the portals opened, we found the humans had infested their world, millions of them crawling in and out of these large hives they had erected like vermin. They were still as weak as ever. I personally killed a dozen, slicing their heads off with ease. The stories about how it took dozens of them with spears to even harm an old timer were evident now, and these humans didn’t have a weapon in sight. As my warriors moved through one of these hives the humans had found and dwelt in, all sorts of treasures were brought to me. One, a sleek little shiny thing seemed to be some kind of mirror that worked in a very odd way, one held it up to something and on the other side of it was the image. One of my warriors had said a human was holding it up trying to steal his soul, apparently. After examining it, though, I assured him such a thing was not possible—it was some trick. It was one of many queer things, like the carriages the humans seemed to move in with no beasts to draw them. Or how they talked into those little mirror things, often times screaming some gibberish; not that the talking was odd, humans often held odd objects to them and muttered things in their final moments. What was odd was how none of them knew our language, the old ones said the Sumerian spoke our tongue with ease after the old man taught them, but now? They seemed to have lost even that grace. Our pride allowed us to take this as another sign they had fallen. But it wasn’t until Iculbun, a small goat looking fellow and a good friend too, fell that we suspected something might be amiss. This human in blue waved something at him that popped—and stung him. Not badly, but enough to draw blood. Inculbun was so incensed he immediately leapt toward the man and ripped his heart out. In his celebration he failed to notice another man by him, this one had some kind of staff. Fire came from the end of it, and a loud thunderous noise—Inculbun jerked as if he’d been punched. The man moved his hand down the staff with a clicking sound and yet more fire rained from it. Inculbun tried to move toward the man but five thunderous roars of that staff later, Inculbun was dead. The old man above, the humans had learned magic, I thought to myself. A swarm of my warriors tore the man to shreds post-haste, but I could see it in their eyes, fear. Oh, my ignorance was great then as I spoke to them, assuring them that we had killed hundreds and only seen but two of these wizards so far, and the one could do little more than hurl useless tiny stones. If this was the limit of humanity’s newfound knowledge of magic, then we had nothing to fear. My warriors even picked up their staffs, and little slings--they let forth a great popping roar a few times but then they stopped working, it seemed like whatever power these Wizards held was fleeting at best. I had thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, this was why the old man had opened the gates again. He never did like it when these creatures tampered in things beyond their understanding, and the mystical arts were things he reserved almost solely for himself. My warriors were renewed. The crusade continued. I should have paid attention to the runners which brought news of other portals, speaking of how large carriages of humans had shown up, with men inside that looked like the Wizards, but had deep black on instead and all of them had staffs of a different sort. Preposterous. If so many Wizards existed, surely there would be more among them then the few we had encountered since our first sighting, I had thought. Almost none of them had those large staffs, the only trick they could do were what we had come to call ‘magic missile’, annoying yes, like the bite of a Frimpltoad, enough to draw blood, but nothing seriously dangerous unless it somewhere truly vulnerable. But even then we were only vulnerable because we’d become careless, we abandoned our large hell-forged shields because they were too heavy and the humans seemed to be helpless. Once my warriors had taken them up again, the thick pieces of iron that weighed nearly what the humans themselves did, the little tricks the Wizards had were useless, they barely scratched the shield. Even the staffs only dented it a little. If this was the extent of human magic, we truly did have little to worry about. However as men in black, soft armor showed up—with their long staffs that did not click after each missile, our difficulties increased. Their thunder staves still could not pierce our hell-iron, it simply left little dings, but the thick metal held—and it was large enough to cover a demons body near entire. Still, if one of my warriors was caught unawares, or was flanked, these staves could rip right through his body, causing a wound that was shocking in its severity. It was at that point that we became serious. Employing tactics we had used against the armies of men who came to oppose us before. Lined with shields and sword, we protected each other and slew the black armored men—and once again, my warriors were renewed. With the loss of but a few their greatest Wizards were still easy to butcher as long as we treated them with the little respect they deserved. Truly this world would be ours in week, we thought. We enjoyed the plunder, and death for two days as the humans seemed to abandon their hives. Eventually nearly none were left—it was quite the exodus, all things told, very organized. But we knew they’d be hiding in the hills, humans always ran for the hills the old timers said. We tried to make sense of the gibberish they spoke, even capturing some and torturing them to speak correctly. We looked through books, and found nothing familiar. These fools really had fallen from grace, and we were emboldened even more, we’d go root them from their holes and enjoy the fruits of our victory in time....Oh what fools we were.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	The last testament of Praxel, A Lord of Hell. When the gates began to crackle with energy again it was almost unknown to us, after thousands of years of dormancy the hope of venturing forth as kings and conquerors into the low worlds was all but lost. In a bout of wisdom the old man had stopped meddling in their affairs, realizing that any aid to those lower life forms would inevitably lead them to be worse. His isolation had made it so the source of energy for the gates was gone. We thought we had him to thank when they re-opened, with a surge of energy that didn’t just allow for a few hundred of us to slip through, like it had been millennia ago, but thousands if we wished. The old man had finally forsaken the creatures he took pity on, obviously. Why he ever enjoyed them was a mystery to us to begin with, they were weak, and helpless. His reasoning was at best flimsy “You do not understand how rare sentience is, it’s a mistake of life, trillions and trillions of worlds and we were the last to achieve it billions of years ago. You don’t remember our climb, my misshapen children, but you still enjoy the long life and the powerful bodies its technology provided, even if you have squandered them.” Squandered, the old fool—as if he and his ‘perfect’ little group of sycophants had any room to talk. It did not matter though, they chose their way and we chose our way. The scars from our people’s war still remain evident on our world, a world our ancestors had created to be perfect, somewhere above the low worlds—though how they had done it was lost to us. The old man had stolen the knowledge, and he’d stolen it to protect those sniveling, weak humans, who now existed on a world more pristine than our own, despite it being a low world. Whatever they had done to piss the old man off, we should thank them for we had thought, maybe we’d keep a few as pets since that would really be all they were good for. Some still lived that remember those times when we last saw humanity, they had been part of the small hosts that slipped to their world four millennia ago. They all looked alike, not like us. The smallest of us was their size, but the largest could stretch a dozen feet into the air. Some of us had fur, some of us scales, some skin—all signs of the beauty of expression our people had discovered long ago, on of the magics lost to us now, allowing us to be what we wished. We were stronger than them, one of the old-timers said he could crush a man’s head in his hand. Not that we’d even need to, they died on their own! Their bodies broke down without having to be killed in just a few decades, so weak, it was unfathomable how the old man saw them as more than insects. So of course as the hosts of Hell prepared for war, gathering our swords and armor, we felt nothing but excitement. As the portals opened, we found the humans had infested their world, millions of them crawling in and out of these large hives they had erected like vermin. They were still as weak as ever. I personally killed a dozen, slicing their heads off with ease. The stories about how it took dozens of them with spears to even harm an old timer were evident now, and these humans didn’t have a weapon in sight. As my warriors moved through one of these hives the humans had found and dwelt in, all sorts of treasures were brought to me. One, a sleek little shiny thing seemed to be some kind of mirror that worked in a very odd way, one held it up to something and on the other side of it was the image. One of my warriors had said a human was holding it up trying to steal his soul, apparently. After examining it, though, I assured him such a thing was not possible—it was some trick. It was one of many queer things, like the carriages the humans seemed to move in with no beasts to draw them. Or how they talked into those little mirror things, often times screaming some gibberish; not that the talking was odd, humans often held odd objects to them and muttered things in their final moments. What was odd was how none of them knew our language, the old ones said the Sumerian spoke our tongue with ease after the old man taught them, but now? They seemed to have lost even that grace. Our pride allowed us to take this as another sign they had fallen. But it wasn’t until Iculbun, a small goat looking fellow and a good friend too, fell that we suspected something might be amiss. This human in blue waved something at him that popped—and stung him. Not badly, but enough to draw blood. Inculbun was so incensed he immediately leapt toward the man and ripped his heart out. In his celebration he failed to notice another man by him, this one had some kind of staff. Fire came from the end of it, and a loud thunderous noise—Inculbun jerked as if he’d been punched. The man moved his hand down the staff with a clicking sound and yet more fire rained from it. Inculbun tried to move toward the man but five thunderous roars of that staff later, Inculbun was dead. The old man above, the humans had learned magic, I thought to myself. A swarm of my warriors tore the man to shreds post-haste, but I could see it in their eyes, fear. Oh, my ignorance was great then as I spoke to them, assuring them that we had killed hundreds and only seen but two of these wizards so far, and the one could do little more than hurl useless tiny stones. If this was the limit of humanity’s newfound knowledge of magic, then we had nothing to fear. My warriors even picked up their staffs, and little slings--they let forth a great popping roar a few times but then they stopped working, it seemed like whatever power these Wizards held was fleeting at best. I had thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, this was why the old man had opened the gates again. He never did like it when these creatures tampered in things beyond their understanding, and the mystical arts were things he reserved almost solely for himself. My warriors were renewed. The crusade continued. I should have paid attention to the runners which brought news of other portals, speaking of how large carriages of humans had shown up, with men inside that looked like the Wizards, but had deep black on instead and all of them had staffs of a different sort. Preposterous. If so many Wizards existed, surely there would be more among them then the few we had encountered since our first sighting, I had thought. Almost none of them had those large staffs, the only trick they could do were what we had come to call ‘magic missile’, annoying yes, like the bite of a Frimpltoad, enough to draw blood, but nothing seriously dangerous unless it somewhere truly vulnerable. But even then we were only vulnerable because we’d become careless, we abandoned our large hell-forged shields because they were too heavy and the humans seemed to be helpless. Once my warriors had taken them up again, the thick pieces of iron that weighed nearly what the humans themselves did, the little tricks the Wizards had were useless, they barely scratched the shield. Even the staffs only dented it a little. If this was the extent of human magic, we truly did have little to worry about. However as men in black, soft armor showed up—with their long staffs that did not click after each missile, our difficulties increased. Their thunder staves still could not pierce our hell-iron, it simply left little dings, but the thick metal held—and it was large enough to cover a demons body near entire. Still, if one of my warriors was caught unawares, or was flanked, these staves could rip right through his body, causing a wound that was shocking in its severity. It was at that point that we became serious. Employing tactics we had used against the armies of men who came to oppose us before. Lined with shields and sword, we protected each other and slew the black armored men—and once again, my warriors were renewed. With the loss of but a few their greatest Wizards were still easy to butcher as long as we treated them with the little respect they deserved. Truly this world would be ours in week, we thought. We enjoyed the plunder, and death for two days as the humans seemed to abandon their hives. Eventually nearly none were left—it was quite the exodus, all things told, very organized. But we knew they’d be hiding in the hills, humans always ran for the hills the old timers said. We tried to make sense of the gibberish they spoke, even capturing some and torturing them to speak correctly. We looked through books, and found nothing familiar. These fools really had fallen from grace, and we were emboldened even more, we’d go root them from their holes and enjoy the fruits of our victory in time....Oh what fools we were.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	Gather round the campfire, young ones, and I'll tell you the greatest story of old. You see, there was a time when we thought the stories of gods and monsters were just that - stories. But as you all know, early in the twenty-first Century, we realised we were living in one of those stories. In the summer of 2020, the world was wracked with earthquakes. The very magma of the earth was awakened, it seemed. But what bled forth from the underworld was not material or mineral, but monsters. Real monsters. These demons, vile and impossible creatures, were bred for one purpose. To create torment, to inflict pain and to induce fear. They streamed from rents in the earth like a ravening, frothing tide. Great beings of wildfire and ichor, spindly crawlers of iron and blood, even fair temptresses with cat's eyes and honeyed whispers. Many worlds had fallen to them in the past. They broke morale and won the wars before ever they reached the poor creatures that faced them, weeping and bowels emptying in terror. That these personifications of all they feared could also tear them apart once they got to them was almost unnecessary, because few could bear to resist them in any meaningful way. The devils were evil and fear incarnate; it was what they were created for and they knew nothing else. Which was why they failed. They were born cruel, but we humans, we had discovered it for ourselves. And we liked it. Through all the horrors men and women had faced in their fifty thousand year climb from neanderthals to farmers, builders and creators, none had ever been enough to break us. For the truth about humans is that we aren't incredible, nor amazing, at doing any one thing. But we adapt, faster and more readily than anything. The first waves of infernal creatures were enough to end cities and leave nations in ruins... but so what? Had we not done far worse ourselves in the wars? Great clanking, hissing metal and flesh machines might shriek out of the mists and pull victims into their grinding rollers, but was this terror any worse than the armoured tank charges men had stood fast against for over a century? Perhaps the first time a skittering spider-tree the size of a building attacks your squad, you may run in fear. But the second time you hold your ground and shoot back long enough for an orderly retreat. By the fifth, you've already been placing C4 to blow limbs off while a sniper takes out the eyes. A month later and there's a chalk board in the mess with a comical drawing of one dancing in a frying pan and the line 'just add napalm, asshole' and a tally of the squads with the most confirmed kills. The infernal momentum did not hold after the first few weeks. They could send their most single-minded, brutal killers to the front lines as their spearhead, but so could we. And we sent them with Abrams, Raptors and Predators. People adapted. Mankind stumbled briefly before standing up and roaring. Great columns of armoured vehicles stretched to the horizons as nations emptied their arsenals and shared the great reserves of weapons. Millions of men and women armed to the teeth and bred for millions of years to survive and kill other people above all found they had something more to offer. All those killer instincts, but aimed at a great enemy and fighting for our very survival? Bands of brothers will fight to the death for one another and we did. Oh, we did. But we made them die first. We humans have killed each other since the dawn of time, giving us the skills and the utter ingenuity at crafting death weapons and vessels to turn on any foe. The demons had never had such savvy prey as one another. That was why they lost. And when their lines broke on the plains of Africa and the Andes, humans did what they've been doing for a thousand, thousand years. The enemy routed. They ran them down. They smelled victory and they butchered the defeated enemy. They pursued them all the way back to Hades. The hellspawn knew they were utterly lost and they ran as if all the demons of myth and legend were chasing them. Alas they were not so fortunate.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	Polanski: HOLY FUCK THEY GOT TO EARTH?! Rider: The demons? "Sigh", seems like taking over our station in Mars wasn't enough. Polanski: Sir, please tell me we can kill them. Rider: Yes and to kil- wait a second, my men just brung in a live demon, I'll bring the phone closer to it. Rider: What's up jackass, you speak English? "Demon": You have to let me go! We only invaded earth to escape him! Rider: Well, that was unexpected, you do speak English, who is HIM? "Demon": He was the sole survivor of our invasion of what you call Mars, you must understand our invasion of your planet is a battle for survival, not for war. Rider: Shit, where is he now? In Hell? "Demon": Yes no- "gunshots" Rider: Thanks dumbass, we got all we needed. Polanski please make your way back to UAC command. "Soldier": Sir! We just found a picture of who the demon is referring to. Rider: Who the fuck is Doomguy? If he's in there who don't need to invade Hell, just defend our home. Maybe demons should learn to defend their homes as well.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	When they first rose from that damnable abyss we scattered like ants across the surface of the globe, but we didn't hide forever. Even within the first weeks those with weapons would conduct hit and run tactics against the ever encroaching army while those in charge attempted to put together a more suitable strategy. Sure there were people who would shout and scream till they were blue in the face trying to convince us that god was the only one who could save us, but those prayers and pleas fell on deaf ears. God had truly abandoned us, but we were no longer the scared and helpless world we were before. We had rifles to gun them down, missiles to lay waste to their army, and the same amount of mercy they showed us. It didn't take long for us to push them back just as hard as they pushed us, but no matter the encounter we suffered losses. By the time a full year had passed we were sure we would lose. Hopelessly, and with no where left to turn we prayed to God once more, but it wasn't him who answered the call for help. When we saw our soldiers charge from out the hellish maw that their armies advanced from our first thoughts turned to betrayal. It was only when our allies began to commence flanking attacks on the demons and devils that we knew we had them beat. Who was to watch over the slave pits when you needed every available troop to stop the marching advances of humanity? In the end, it wasn't just our former allies that rose from hell to push back the devils, but every soul ever sentenced to pain and agony for the crimes they had committed. We became brutal, engaging in suicide attacks every time we charged forwards. Death could not contain us, and every man and woman who fell on the battlefield came marching out of that fiery gate. Our fallen invading Hell from within. Even Satan could not beat us, we bathed him in nuclear fire until the only thing left was a puddle of radioactive sludge. We had no fear of using these weapons of destruction anymore. There was agony, but life for us was eternal. In the end we had proved that our numbers, and our savage human nature had won out over the forces of hell. There was no one preaching love anymore, love and piousness hadn't won the war. With our last great enemy defeated, we grew restless, we needed more. We all stood in hell, surrounding Satan's toppled throne when we made the decision to keep our endless march moving forward. We as one turned our eyes to sky, marched out of that portal, and in 2023 we invaded heaven.	Polanski: HOLY FUCK THEY GOT TO EARTH?! Rider: The demons? "Sigh", seems like taking over our station in Mars wasn't enough. Polanski: Sir, please tell me we can kill them. Rider: Yes and to kil- wait a second, my men just brung in a live demon, I'll bring the phone closer to it. Rider: What's up jackass, you speak English? "Demon": You have to let me go! We only invaded earth to escape him! Rider: Well, that was unexpected, you do speak English, who is HIM? "Demon": He was the sole survivor of our invasion of what you call Mars, you must understand our invasion of your planet is a battle for survival, not for war. Rider: Shit, where is he now? In Hell? "Demon": Yes no- "gunshots" Rider: Thanks dumbass, we got all we needed. Polanski please make your way back to UAC command. "Soldier": Sir! We just found a picture of who the demon is referring to. Rider: Who the fuck is Doomguy? If he's in there who don't need to invade Hell, just defend our home. Maybe demons should learn to defend their homes as well.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"This was a bad idea." General Partridge stared across the bleak landscape as Private Graves approached him. After a hard fought battle, the General's forces had made a grinding advancement up the fortified hill and had captured the outpost at its summit. The demon spawn had made hasty retreat, scurrying away from the area to regroup. Without delay, Graves had been commissioned to conduct a thorough review of the area, to determine exactly what they had captured. "I have the report sir." Graves spoke nervously. "Why did we think this was a good idea again?" General Partridge turned to Graves, a quiet confoundment in his eyes. "I mean am I right in saying that it's Hell?" "Yes sir." Graves replied. "Like as far as you went it was just all still Hell?" "Yes sir." General Partridge sat down on an outcrop of cooling Brimstone. "You know Graves." He sighed "When Hell invaded us a year ago, I was horrified. I was appalled but you know what... at least I understood it. They wanted our world, our plentiful resources, our sunlight and cool breezes. They wanted to escape the endless torment of an infinite hell dimension. So why did we respond by sending our global armies to capture it? A territory historically documented as the worst place ever. I mean, have we found any food?" "No sir." "Any oil reserves?" "Yes... but they're all on fire, Sir." "Any water sources?" "... Also on fire, Sir." "Great." Partridge sank back against the course rock wall. "How many demons did we kill?" "We're reporting over 800 sir but..." "But?" Partridge, sensing Graves' reluctance, fixed him with an unbreaking stare. Graves finally relented, unable to look his superior in the eye as he spoke. "Well they're the damned so... when we kill them they go to Hell." "Which is here." "Yes sir." "Fucking fantastic." Partridge uncapped his hipflask and took a much needed swig. "But we've advanced? The front line has moved?" "Yes by two miles sir." "And how much of Hell is that?" "Well sir, Hell is infinite so our current land gain is..." "So small it's not even mathematically calculable." "Yes sir. Our usual advancement measures are based on terrain that..." "Ends?" "Well yes sir." General Partridge looked out across the bleak landscape. Private Graves at his side. "This was a bad idea."	Polanski: HOLY FUCK THEY GOT TO EARTH?! Rider: The demons? "Sigh", seems like taking over our station in Mars wasn't enough. Polanski: Sir, please tell me we can kill them. Rider: Yes and to kil- wait a second, my men just brung in a live demon, I'll bring the phone closer to it. Rider: What's up jackass, you speak English? "Demon": You have to let me go! We only invaded earth to escape him! Rider: Well, that was unexpected, you do speak English, who is HIM? "Demon": He was the sole survivor of our invasion of what you call Mars, you must understand our invasion of your planet is a battle for survival, not for war. Rider: Shit, where is he now? In Hell? "Demon": Yes no- "gunshots" Rider: Thanks dumbass, we got all we needed. Polanski please make your way back to UAC command. "Soldier": Sir! We just found a picture of who the demon is referring to. Rider: Who the fuck is Doomguy? If he's in there who don't need to invade Hell, just defend our home. Maybe demons should learn to defend their homes as well.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	Another explosion rocked the hastily improvised command center. "Sir! The 4th circle has been breached!" The current Commander of the hellish Host cursed bitterly "How?" "More cute kittens sir. But this time there were also adorable puppies" Several demons shivered violently and the Command cursed again. The humans weren't fighting fair. As if the regular troops and metal weapons they fielded weren't bad enough, now they also used drone delivered loads of adorable animals, projected funny or heartwarming videos on the far walls of hell and used giant loudspeekers mounted on tanks to play peaceful trance music or happy pop songs. The first 10 minutes of "UP" combined with Hoku's Perfect Day had costed them the entire third circle. And their counteroffensive was doing nothing. The most fearsome beasts and helldemons didn't even cause tired smiles anymore! The humans just joked about "bad cgi" and "Hey, I've seen something like this in a slasher film once" whatever the here those things were. And Lucifer had fucking abondent them, after warning against the invasion. Of course no one had listened and the Lord of Darkness had just packed his things disappeared. Fucking asshole. Another explosion rocked the command post. But this time warning klaxons followed. "Sir! SIR!" "What now?" "A portal has opened on the sixth! It leads to one of their oceans! The lower levels are being flooded!" Beelzebub and his lieutenants paled an unhealthy orange. "Use the vulcanic brigade! Create rock walls to channel..." "Sir!" One of the demons that was watching magical pictures from the front shouted "That won't work! The water is dissolving demons wherever it lands!" "What?" "They blessed the ocean! THEY BLESSED THE WHOLE FUCKING OCEAN!" "GOD DAMN IT!"	Only five years prior no one would imagine a single global government or that a burgeoning 8 billion soul population would be savaged to half of that with whole regions of Earth completely depopulated. Evil had come to Earth and wore continental Europe as a cloak of flesh, initially in the form of renew desires and push for glory day empires of bending the riches of Asia, the Americas and Africa to the whim and will of European masters. Then a sudden assault as the Mastery of Europe turned the Eastern seaboard of the People's Republic of China into irradiated glass and ash which was decried by the world and dislocated alliances particularly NATO. The global community knew not what to do. A U.N. summit became the show piece in the truth of matter when all the representatives from Europe were torn to shreds as their hosts stepped through into this dimensional reality. Terrible beings of dripping black hatred tore the screaming delegates into wet heaps of quivering flesh leaving the Secretary-General as their final offering to their dark hell master. Secretary-General Jerrick of Singapore was flayed alive and pinned to the wall with the broken bones of the delegates their entrails used as arcane sigils to keep the devastated man alive. Terrible creatures appeared in every country around the world and pulled those of executive power through cracks in reality and straight into hell. In a few short hours the whole of the Earth was without any formal leadership. Overnight a darkness enveloped the Old World as Hell dropped it's cloak of flesh and subjugated their mortals. Demonic beings and monsters of stories began to roam the hellscape. Then they went to war. However disturbing and vile this new unreality was. No matter what the truth of it, were they aliens or was hell real does that mean heaven is real and an Angelic host was on it's way. There were no angels but there was something that Hell did not account for. The readiness and willingness of the remaining human population to wage war. In one short year humanity with the full vigour and mechanical horror of it's industrialised war machine had taken the European hellscape and turned into a moonscape, led by both oceanic fleets of the United States Navy supported by every nation's military capable of getting to Europe to fire a weapon. Massive armies of volunteers from Africa urged on by preachers and pastors met their brothers and sisters in arms from the middle and far Asia with weapons churned out by the immense American industrial complex.to wage a holy war to put Hell down. The forces of Evil had no defence against such incredible amount of munitions, towering flesh beasts of tooth and horn that once put Ancient Hebrew warriors to flight were too slow and too big to avoid being turned to mist by small arms fire. Gargantuan fire breathing dragons littered the ground, their delicate wings chewed up by Australian joint strike fighters, and imps trying to hold the weapons of men began to decorate the belts of Ghurkha soldiers avenging the now dead British Isles. A year and Hell was beaten into submission unable to wage war like the mortals they had intended to intimidate. A new world government was formed of the remaining leaders, and quickly sought to investigate the matter of retaliation whilst clean up of Europe took place. Every unholy altar was torn down, every idol destroyed and the whole place cleansed with fire and hammer and plastic explosive. In Bielefeld Germany a Aperture to hell was found. Science and engineering had quickly found means of following demonic energy and even was beginning to understand how it worked in the real world. Experts met and theories explored and ultimately it was discovered just as the hosts of hell could march into the world, the wrath of mankind could go back in. The decision was rapidly made and preparations for this new incursion were funded with the globes best warriors and hunters from the retaking of Europe called in to be fitted up for war once again. The South Sudan Snake Killers, a irregular force who won notoriety their unique approach for dealing with enslaved cultists and their masters volunteered early and with good cause to take the fight to hell. The New Iberian Moors made up of Moroccan troopers who liberated the Spanish peninsula also were picked. Finally the United South American warriors of Christ one of whom had bested the Anti-Pope in Rome in a dual were given their marching orders, singing hymns all the way to Germany. The year was 2022 and mankind had reached the shores of Hell to kill the Devil and avenge the Dead. Author note: It should be said i borrowed a lot of stuff from the world built by /u/Atimo3 over in r/worldbuilding. They did a stack load of really good work and it just seems to fit in this prompt. I took some massive liberties with what they made to suit my needs but credit is still due to them.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	When they first rose from that damnable abyss we scattered like ants across the surface of the globe, but we didn't hide forever. Even within the first weeks those with weapons would conduct hit and run tactics against the ever encroaching army while those in charge attempted to put together a more suitable strategy. Sure there were people who would shout and scream till they were blue in the face trying to convince us that god was the only one who could save us, but those prayers and pleas fell on deaf ears. God had truly abandoned us, but we were no longer the scared and helpless world we were before. We had rifles to gun them down, missiles to lay waste to their army, and the same amount of mercy they showed us. It didn't take long for us to push them back just as hard as they pushed us, but no matter the encounter we suffered losses. By the time a full year had passed we were sure we would lose. Hopelessly, and with no where left to turn we prayed to God once more, but it wasn't him who answered the call for help. When we saw our soldiers charge from out the hellish maw that their armies advanced from our first thoughts turned to betrayal. It was only when our allies began to commence flanking attacks on the demons and devils that we knew we had them beat. Who was to watch over the slave pits when you needed every available troop to stop the marching advances of humanity? In the end, it wasn't just our former allies that rose from hell to push back the devils, but every soul ever sentenced to pain and agony for the crimes they had committed. We became brutal, engaging in suicide attacks every time we charged forwards. Death could not contain us, and every man and woman who fell on the battlefield came marching out of that fiery gate. Our fallen invading Hell from within. Even Satan could not beat us, we bathed him in nuclear fire until the only thing left was a puddle of radioactive sludge. We had no fear of using these weapons of destruction anymore. There was agony, but life for us was eternal. In the end we had proved that our numbers, and our savage human nature had won out over the forces of hell. There was no one preaching love anymore, love and piousness hadn't won the war. With our last great enemy defeated, we grew restless, we needed more. We all stood in hell, surrounding Satan's toppled throne when we made the decision to keep our endless march moving forward. We as one turned our eyes to sky, marched out of that portal, and in 2023 we invaded heaven.	Only five years prior no one would imagine a single global government or that a burgeoning 8 billion soul population would be savaged to half of that with whole regions of Earth completely depopulated. Evil had come to Earth and wore continental Europe as a cloak of flesh, initially in the form of renew desires and push for glory day empires of bending the riches of Asia, the Americas and Africa to the whim and will of European masters. Then a sudden assault as the Mastery of Europe turned the Eastern seaboard of the People's Republic of China into irradiated glass and ash which was decried by the world and dislocated alliances particularly NATO. The global community knew not what to do. A U.N. summit became the show piece in the truth of matter when all the representatives from Europe were torn to shreds as their hosts stepped through into this dimensional reality. Terrible beings of dripping black hatred tore the screaming delegates into wet heaps of quivering flesh leaving the Secretary-General as their final offering to their dark hell master. Secretary-General Jerrick of Singapore was flayed alive and pinned to the wall with the broken bones of the delegates their entrails used as arcane sigils to keep the devastated man alive. Terrible creatures appeared in every country around the world and pulled those of executive power through cracks in reality and straight into hell. In a few short hours the whole of the Earth was without any formal leadership. Overnight a darkness enveloped the Old World as Hell dropped it's cloak of flesh and subjugated their mortals. Demonic beings and monsters of stories began to roam the hellscape. Then they went to war. However disturbing and vile this new unreality was. No matter what the truth of it, were they aliens or was hell real does that mean heaven is real and an Angelic host was on it's way. There were no angels but there was something that Hell did not account for. The readiness and willingness of the remaining human population to wage war. In one short year humanity with the full vigour and mechanical horror of it's industrialised war machine had taken the European hellscape and turned into a moonscape, led by both oceanic fleets of the United States Navy supported by every nation's military capable of getting to Europe to fire a weapon. Massive armies of volunteers from Africa urged on by preachers and pastors met their brothers and sisters in arms from the middle and far Asia with weapons churned out by the immense American industrial complex.to wage a holy war to put Hell down. The forces of Evil had no defence against such incredible amount of munitions, towering flesh beasts of tooth and horn that once put Ancient Hebrew warriors to flight were too slow and too big to avoid being turned to mist by small arms fire. Gargantuan fire breathing dragons littered the ground, their delicate wings chewed up by Australian joint strike fighters, and imps trying to hold the weapons of men began to decorate the belts of Ghurkha soldiers avenging the now dead British Isles. A year and Hell was beaten into submission unable to wage war like the mortals they had intended to intimidate. A new world government was formed of the remaining leaders, and quickly sought to investigate the matter of retaliation whilst clean up of Europe took place. Every unholy altar was torn down, every idol destroyed and the whole place cleansed with fire and hammer and plastic explosive. In Bielefeld Germany a Aperture to hell was found. Science and engineering had quickly found means of following demonic energy and even was beginning to understand how it worked in the real world. Experts met and theories explored and ultimately it was discovered just as the hosts of hell could march into the world, the wrath of mankind could go back in. The decision was rapidly made and preparations for this new incursion were funded with the globes best warriors and hunters from the retaking of Europe called in to be fitted up for war once again. The South Sudan Snake Killers, a irregular force who won notoriety their unique approach for dealing with enslaved cultists and their masters volunteered early and with good cause to take the fight to hell. The New Iberian Moors made up of Moroccan troopers who liberated the Spanish peninsula also were picked. Finally the United South American warriors of Christ one of whom had bested the Anti-Pope in Rome in a dual were given their marching orders, singing hymns all the way to Germany. The year was 2022 and mankind had reached the shores of Hell to kill the Devil and avenge the Dead. Author note: It should be said i borrowed a lot of stuff from the world built by /u/Atimo3 over in r/worldbuilding. They did a stack load of really good work and it just seems to fit in this prompt. I took some massive liberties with what they made to suit my needs but credit is still due to them.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"This was a bad idea." General Partridge stared across the bleak landscape as Private Graves approached him. After a hard fought battle, the General's forces had made a grinding advancement up the fortified hill and had captured the outpost at its summit. The demon spawn had made hasty retreat, scurrying away from the area to regroup. Without delay, Graves had been commissioned to conduct a thorough review of the area, to determine exactly what they had captured. "I have the report sir." Graves spoke nervously. "Why did we think this was a good idea again?" General Partridge turned to Graves, a quiet confoundment in his eyes. "I mean am I right in saying that it's Hell?" "Yes sir." Graves replied. "Like as far as you went it was just all still Hell?" "Yes sir." General Partridge sat down on an outcrop of cooling Brimstone. "You know Graves." He sighed "When Hell invaded us a year ago, I was horrified. I was appalled but you know what... at least I understood it. They wanted our world, our plentiful resources, our sunlight and cool breezes. They wanted to escape the endless torment of an infinite hell dimension. So why did we respond by sending our global armies to capture it? A territory historically documented as the worst place ever. I mean, have we found any food?" "No sir." "Any oil reserves?" "Yes... but they're all on fire, Sir." "Any water sources?" "... Also on fire, Sir." "Great." Partridge sank back against the course rock wall. "How many demons did we kill?" "We're reporting over 800 sir but..." "But?" Partridge, sensing Graves' reluctance, fixed him with an unbreaking stare. Graves finally relented, unable to look his superior in the eye as he spoke. "Well they're the damned so... when we kill them they go to Hell." "Which is here." "Yes sir." "Fucking fantastic." Partridge uncapped his hipflask and took a much needed swig. "But we've advanced? The front line has moved?" "Yes by two miles sir." "And how much of Hell is that?" "Well sir, Hell is infinite so our current land gain is..." "So small it's not even mathematically calculable." "Yes sir. Our usual advancement measures are based on terrain that..." "Ends?" "Well yes sir." General Partridge looked out across the bleak landscape. Private Graves at his side. "This was a bad idea."	Only five years prior no one would imagine a single global government or that a burgeoning 8 billion soul population would be savaged to half of that with whole regions of Earth completely depopulated. Evil had come to Earth and wore continental Europe as a cloak of flesh, initially in the form of renew desires and push for glory day empires of bending the riches of Asia, the Americas and Africa to the whim and will of European masters. Then a sudden assault as the Mastery of Europe turned the Eastern seaboard of the People's Republic of China into irradiated glass and ash which was decried by the world and dislocated alliances particularly NATO. The global community knew not what to do. A U.N. summit became the show piece in the truth of matter when all the representatives from Europe were torn to shreds as their hosts stepped through into this dimensional reality. Terrible beings of dripping black hatred tore the screaming delegates into wet heaps of quivering flesh leaving the Secretary-General as their final offering to their dark hell master. Secretary-General Jerrick of Singapore was flayed alive and pinned to the wall with the broken bones of the delegates their entrails used as arcane sigils to keep the devastated man alive. Terrible creatures appeared in every country around the world and pulled those of executive power through cracks in reality and straight into hell. In a few short hours the whole of the Earth was without any formal leadership. Overnight a darkness enveloped the Old World as Hell dropped it's cloak of flesh and subjugated their mortals. Demonic beings and monsters of stories began to roam the hellscape. Then they went to war. However disturbing and vile this new unreality was. No matter what the truth of it, were they aliens or was hell real does that mean heaven is real and an Angelic host was on it's way. There were no angels but there was something that Hell did not account for. The readiness and willingness of the remaining human population to wage war. In one short year humanity with the full vigour and mechanical horror of it's industrialised war machine had taken the European hellscape and turned into a moonscape, led by both oceanic fleets of the United States Navy supported by every nation's military capable of getting to Europe to fire a weapon. Massive armies of volunteers from Africa urged on by preachers and pastors met their brothers and sisters in arms from the middle and far Asia with weapons churned out by the immense American industrial complex.to wage a holy war to put Hell down. The forces of Evil had no defence against such incredible amount of munitions, towering flesh beasts of tooth and horn that once put Ancient Hebrew warriors to flight were too slow and too big to avoid being turned to mist by small arms fire. Gargantuan fire breathing dragons littered the ground, their delicate wings chewed up by Australian joint strike fighters, and imps trying to hold the weapons of men began to decorate the belts of Ghurkha soldiers avenging the now dead British Isles. A year and Hell was beaten into submission unable to wage war like the mortals they had intended to intimidate. A new world government was formed of the remaining leaders, and quickly sought to investigate the matter of retaliation whilst clean up of Europe took place. Every unholy altar was torn down, every idol destroyed and the whole place cleansed with fire and hammer and plastic explosive. In Bielefeld Germany a Aperture to hell was found. Science and engineering had quickly found means of following demonic energy and even was beginning to understand how it worked in the real world. Experts met and theories explored and ultimately it was discovered just as the hosts of hell could march into the world, the wrath of mankind could go back in. The decision was rapidly made and preparations for this new incursion were funded with the globes best warriors and hunters from the retaking of Europe called in to be fitted up for war once again. The South Sudan Snake Killers, a irregular force who won notoriety their unique approach for dealing with enslaved cultists and their masters volunteered early and with good cause to take the fight to hell. The New Iberian Moors made up of Moroccan troopers who liberated the Spanish peninsula also were picked. Finally the United South American warriors of Christ one of whom had bested the Anti-Pope in Rome in a dual were given their marching orders, singing hymns all the way to Germany. The year was 2022 and mankind had reached the shores of Hell to kill the Devil and avenge the Dead. Author note: It should be said i borrowed a lot of stuff from the world built by /u/Atimo3 over in r/worldbuilding. They did a stack load of really good work and it just seems to fit in this prompt. I took some massive liberties with what they made to suit my needs but credit is still due to them.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"This was a bad idea." General Partridge stared across the bleak landscape as Private Graves approached him. After a hard fought battle, the General's forces had made a grinding advancement up the fortified hill and had captured the outpost at its summit. The demon spawn had made hasty retreat, scurrying away from the area to regroup. Without delay, Graves had been commissioned to conduct a thorough review of the area, to determine exactly what they had captured. "I have the report sir." Graves spoke nervously. "Why did we think this was a good idea again?" General Partridge turned to Graves, a quiet confoundment in his eyes. "I mean am I right in saying that it's Hell?" "Yes sir." Graves replied. "Like as far as you went it was just all still Hell?" "Yes sir." General Partridge sat down on an outcrop of cooling Brimstone. "You know Graves." He sighed "When Hell invaded us a year ago, I was horrified. I was appalled but you know what... at least I understood it. They wanted our world, our plentiful resources, our sunlight and cool breezes. They wanted to escape the endless torment of an infinite hell dimension. So why did we respond by sending our global armies to capture it? A territory historically documented as the worst place ever. I mean, have we found any food?" "No sir." "Any oil reserves?" "Yes... but they're all on fire, Sir." "Any water sources?" "... Also on fire, Sir." "Great." Partridge sank back against the course rock wall. "How many demons did we kill?" "We're reporting over 800 sir but..." "But?" Partridge, sensing Graves' reluctance, fixed him with an unbreaking stare. Graves finally relented, unable to look his superior in the eye as he spoke. "Well they're the damned so... when we kill them they go to Hell." "Which is here." "Yes sir." "Fucking fantastic." Partridge uncapped his hipflask and took a much needed swig. "But we've advanced? The front line has moved?" "Yes by two miles sir." "And how much of Hell is that?" "Well sir, Hell is infinite so our current land gain is..." "So small it's not even mathematically calculable." "Yes sir. Our usual advancement measures are based on terrain that..." "Ends?" "Well yes sir." General Partridge looked out across the bleak landscape. Private Graves at his side. "This was a bad idea."	When they first rose from that damnable abyss we scattered like ants across the surface of the globe, but we didn't hide forever. Even within the first weeks those with weapons would conduct hit and run tactics against the ever encroaching army while those in charge attempted to put together a more suitable strategy. Sure there were people who would shout and scream till they were blue in the face trying to convince us that god was the only one who could save us, but those prayers and pleas fell on deaf ears. God had truly abandoned us, but we were no longer the scared and helpless world we were before. We had rifles to gun them down, missiles to lay waste to their army, and the same amount of mercy they showed us. It didn't take long for us to push them back just as hard as they pushed us, but no matter the encounter we suffered losses. By the time a full year had passed we were sure we would lose. Hopelessly, and with no where left to turn we prayed to God once more, but it wasn't him who answered the call for help. When we saw our soldiers charge from out the hellish maw that their armies advanced from our first thoughts turned to betrayal. It was only when our allies began to commence flanking attacks on the demons and devils that we knew we had them beat. Who was to watch over the slave pits when you needed every available troop to stop the marching advances of humanity? In the end, it wasn't just our former allies that rose from hell to push back the devils, but every soul ever sentenced to pain and agony for the crimes they had committed. We became brutal, engaging in suicide attacks every time we charged forwards. Death could not contain us, and every man and woman who fell on the battlefield came marching out of that fiery gate. Our fallen invading Hell from within. Even Satan could not beat us, we bathed him in nuclear fire until the only thing left was a puddle of radioactive sludge. We had no fear of using these weapons of destruction anymore. There was agony, but life for us was eternal. In the end we had proved that our numbers, and our savage human nature had won out over the forces of hell. There was no one preaching love anymore, love and piousness hadn't won the war. With our last great enemy defeated, we grew restless, we needed more. We all stood in hell, surrounding Satan's toppled throne when we made the decision to keep our endless march moving forward. We as one turned our eyes to sky, marched out of that portal, and in 2023 we invaded heaven.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"We have it, sir." "Excellent," I said, "now hurry up and put her in the interrogation chamber." "Sir!" The soldier rushed to comply and hoisted the repulsive thing, still passed out, and tied her to a chair. "Make sure its binds are secured," I told him, "we don't want her getting free." I sat across from the captive, I wanted her to see me when she first regained consciousness, to know that her life was over. I didn't have to wait long. Soon the thing stirred, and reflexively strained against her bonds. I stiffened for a second, but the creature gave up, unable to break free. I let out a shaky breath that I didn't even realize I had been holding. Soon it opened its sharp blue eyes suddenly and looked right at me. To its credit, it didn't flinch. I gave it a smile. "So Madame Chair, is it?" I said, savoring the moment, "welcome to hell." Her eyes flickered about, taking in the sights, my red skin, pointy tail, my horns. The temperature, which humans find uncomfortable apparently, and the sharp odor of brimstone. And just for a moment her cool facade slipped, a crack in her mask, and her eyes widened slightly, her lips parted. And then it was gone as swiftly as it had come. But I saw it, I saw the thing's fear. It felt good to know that their leader could feel it. She looked at me again, with that same intense gaze that commanded authority, it was no wonder she became the leader of the Earth Congress. "It's a little warm," she said, actually managing to smile, "and these bonds are a bit too tight, do you mind loosening them?" I laughed mirthlessly, the laughter not reaching my eyes. Laughed at the courage of this woman, her ability to make jokes, to retain some semblance of control despite her situation. Laughed at our final victory. "I see through your facade, Madame, talk all you want, you'll be doing a lot of that whether you want it or not soon enough. You know this not a welcoming party." "So," she said, leaning back and managing to look as comfortable as possible in her bonds, "let's skip the part where I refuse to tell you my plans, and you scare and intimidate me, and then you torture me so much that I eventually give in and tell you everything anyways, just that time without my fingers." "Let's start simply then," I said, slightly uncomfortable by her forthright manner, "how did you invade hell?" We already knew the answer to this, and we suspected the humans did not know that we knew. I wanted to test her honesty. She shrugged. "It was simple really, we managed to reverse engineer-" I held up my hand. "I'm sorry, reverse engineer?" I asked, not knowing the phrase. "To build something by looking at a complete version," she explained. I motioned for her to continue. She nodded, "Yes...reverse engineer one of your imp nests that spawned imps from hell directly to Earth, and managed to make a device that does the opposite. This also gave us the space-time co-ordinates of hell, so we knew where and when to go." I pretended to frown, as if thinking if this would work, but my mind was racing. She was telling the truth, we had lost an imp nest and we had figured that's how the humans had made their way back in. "Alright, let's continue. Where will the human forces be retreating?" She pretended to look confused, "I'm sorry, what do you mean retreat?" I smiled savagely. "Do you take us for fools, Madame Chair? You think we would infiltrate the very heart of your planet and capture you just to ask questions? No, you know as well as we do that we have cut off the head of the snake, without you the humans will halt their offensive." And what an offensive it had been. In the first months of 2021 we had pushed the humans back, taking their cities and killing their people. But after the surprise had faded the humans had pushed back. Hard. Their...technology let them perform wonders that we thought they were incapable of. We could launch fireballs but they could shoot iron balls from some sort of hand held device. We had demons with wings, but they flew in metal birds. We had leviathans in the oceans but they had steel titans that sailed on the oceans. We were pushed back, and had retreated to hell after extensive casualties. We thought we would lick our wounds, bide our time, strike when the humans were weak, when we became a myth once again. We had the patience for millennia after all. But then they came to us. They tore into us, like insects they marched across the planes of oblivion, destroying our structures, freeing our prisoners. They recruited long dead humans, the most vicious of them, and turned them against us. They had marched to the palace of hell itself, seeking to capture our leader, the Devil himself. Without him we would fall apart, the different species of demons would turn on each other, and the war would be over. But that had not happened. And I turned back to the woman gloating, "Just as we cannot fight without our leader, your humans will crumble without you. They are finished." Her face had paled, and I bore on, "don't worry though, we will not kill you, we will keep you alive for a long time, before your release comes and you go to heaven, longer that you would have lived on Earth." I paused dramatically, savoring the look of utter fear on her face, "Of course you might not find it as...comfortable as Earth." I had expected her to cower, to cry, perhaps even revert back to her stoic mask, not showing emotions. I did not expect her to laugh. "You fools, you sorry, poor fools!" She said, gasping for breath. "I..I just couldn't keep up the act anymore, my God." I flinched as she said the last word, but remained confused. "I was told you didn't understand human psychology, but delusion of this scale I had not even imagined." She was actually crying from laughter, and now she smiled smugly at me. "I have a second, you idiot, I will be replaced and the humans will continue attacking. This is not some sort of movie where if you kill the leader, all the underlings fall apart. Killing me does nothing." I sat back, stunned. She had been acting, pretending to be afraid, pretending to show her 'true' emotions. And the human assault would not stop. "You lie!" I screamed at her, "all species' fall without their leader. You kill a pack leader and you become leader, you kill the Devil and the demons fall apart. This is the nature of the world!" She just continued laughing. The Devil needed to be evacuated! The humans may not need their leader but we did. I turned to shout orders to the soldiers outside, and they hurried away, reporting to the Devil. I turned back to the woman. "Your humans may advance, but you will not, we captured you, and rest assured you will not see the light of day again." She stopped laughing and smiled at me. A smile that chilled me to the bone. "What the hell makes you think you were capable enough to capture me...if we didn't let you." The soldier I had commanded to report to the devil returned, one of the human hand devices in his hand, and pointed it at me. "Betrayal," I whispered. Then, fiercely, I turned to the soldier, "Traitor!" He shrugged, untying the human's bonds. "I like to be on the winning side." The woman, now free from her bonds turned to me. "Thank you for bringing me to the most secure location in hell. The tracker I have swallowed has alerted my forces where this is. We will release the most fearsome humans in history from this facility." She turned to walk away. "Kill it," she said in a dismissive gesture, "we have work to do." "Sorry boss," the soldier said with a casual shrug, and shot me. Blackness ensued. * (minor edits) If you enjoyed, check out my new subreddit [XcessiveWriting](https://www.reddit.com/r/XcessiveWriting/) Due to popular demand, I present to you, [Part 2!](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5hk0nq/wp_2021_hell_invades_earth_2022_earth_invades_hell/db1got6/)** EDIT: /u/YouWriteITalk was kind enough to narrate this story. You can find this [here](https://soundcloud.com/user-21186380/the-invasion-of-hell-by-uxcessivesmash)	We poured into the abyss. A living, breathing throng of vindication and vengeance. They were not expecting us and that was key. Every able-bodied person we could muster; man, woman and child all armed, often literally, to the teeth with whatever we could find. We were human and we were good at war. We were so much better at it than they had presumed. Had it been true that all evil stemmed from the depths beneath the earth, realm of darkness and fire, then it may have been different. However we made evil all by ourselves. We consumed greedily and fought and fucked and murdered all on our own. Long faded was our terror, we knew now, all of us together, that if you bled them that they could die and that was enough. At first the beasts had paralysed us with fear. Creatures far beyond mortal comprehension and horrific in form. Some were taller than buildings, gangly, twisted limbs and gaping, hungry mouths. Some were smaller, as small as children with terrible, sharp claws and gnarled knuckles. The worst looked almost like us but you could tell. We could tell. Swarms of us had walked right into the gaping maws left in the earth, places at the conjunction of ancient ley lines and places of primal power. We scrambled into the darkness with one thought in mind between us. We were bringing suffering and slaughter back to the underworld. Back to hell.
	[WP] 2021: Hell invades Earth; 2022: Earth invades Hell.	"We have it, sir." "Excellent," I said, "now hurry up and put her in the interrogation chamber." "Sir!" The soldier rushed to comply and hoisted the repulsive thing, still passed out, and tied her to a chair. "Make sure its binds are secured," I told him, "we don't want her getting free." I sat across from the captive, I wanted her to see me when she first regained consciousness, to know that her life was over. I didn't have to wait long. Soon the thing stirred, and reflexively strained against her bonds. I stiffened for a second, but the creature gave up, unable to break free. I let out a shaky breath that I didn't even realize I had been holding. Soon it opened its sharp blue eyes suddenly and looked right at me. To its credit, it didn't flinch. I gave it a smile. "So Madame Chair, is it?" I said, savoring the moment, "welcome to hell." Her eyes flickered about, taking in the sights, my red skin, pointy tail, my horns. The temperature, which humans find uncomfortable apparently, and the sharp odor of brimstone. And just for a moment her cool facade slipped, a crack in her mask, and her eyes widened slightly, her lips parted. And then it was gone as swiftly as it had come. But I saw it, I saw the thing's fear. It felt good to know that their leader could feel it. She looked at me again, with that same intense gaze that commanded authority, it was no wonder she became the leader of the Earth Congress. "It's a little warm," she said, actually managing to smile, "and these bonds are a bit too tight, do you mind loosening them?" I laughed mirthlessly, the laughter not reaching my eyes. Laughed at the courage of this woman, her ability to make jokes, to retain some semblance of control despite her situation. Laughed at our final victory. "I see through your facade, Madame, talk all you want, you'll be doing a lot of that whether you want it or not soon enough. You know this not a welcoming party." "So," she said, leaning back and managing to look as comfortable as possible in her bonds, "let's skip the part where I refuse to tell you my plans, and you scare and intimidate me, and then you torture me so much that I eventually give in and tell you everything anyways, just that time without my fingers." "Let's start simply then," I said, slightly uncomfortable by her forthright manner, "how did you invade hell?" We already knew the answer to this, and we suspected the humans did not know that we knew. I wanted to test her honesty. She shrugged. "It was simple really, we managed to reverse engineer-" I held up my hand. "I'm sorry, reverse engineer?" I asked, not knowing the phrase. "To build something by looking at a complete version," she explained. I motioned for her to continue. She nodded, "Yes...reverse engineer one of your imp nests that spawned imps from hell directly to Earth, and managed to make a device that does the opposite. This also gave us the space-time co-ordinates of hell, so we knew where and when to go." I pretended to frown, as if thinking if this would work, but my mind was racing. She was telling the truth, we had lost an imp nest and we had figured that's how the humans had made their way back in. "Alright, let's continue. Where will the human forces be retreating?" She pretended to look confused, "I'm sorry, what do you mean retreat?" I smiled savagely. "Do you take us for fools, Madame Chair? You think we would infiltrate the very heart of your planet and capture you just to ask questions? No, you know as well as we do that we have cut off the head of the snake, without you the humans will halt their offensive." And what an offensive it had been. In the first months of 2021 we had pushed the humans back, taking their cities and killing their people. But after the surprise had faded the humans had pushed back. Hard. Their...technology let them perform wonders that we thought they were incapable of. We could launch fireballs but they could shoot iron balls from some sort of hand held device. We had demons with wings, but they flew in metal birds. We had leviathans in the oceans but they had steel titans that sailed on the oceans. We were pushed back, and had retreated to hell after extensive casualties. We thought we would lick our wounds, bide our time, strike when the humans were weak, when we became a myth once again. We had the patience for millennia after all. But then they came to us. They tore into us, like insects they marched across the planes of oblivion, destroying our structures, freeing our prisoners. They recruited long dead humans, the most vicious of them, and turned them against us. They had marched to the palace of hell itself, seeking to capture our leader, the Devil himself. Without him we would fall apart, the different species of demons would turn on each other, and the war would be over. But that had not happened. And I turned back to the woman gloating, "Just as we cannot fight without our leader, your humans will crumble without you. They are finished." Her face had paled, and I bore on, "don't worry though, we will not kill you, we will keep you alive for a long time, before your release comes and you go to heaven, longer that you would have lived on Earth." I paused dramatically, savoring the look of utter fear on her face, "Of course you might not find it as...comfortable as Earth." I had expected her to cower, to cry, perhaps even revert back to her stoic mask, not showing emotions. I did not expect her to laugh. "You fools, you sorry, poor fools!" She said, gasping for breath. "I..I just couldn't keep up the act anymore, my God." I flinched as she said the last word, but remained confused. "I was told you didn't understand human psychology, but delusion of this scale I had not even imagined." She was actually crying from laughter, and now she smiled smugly at me. "I have a second, you idiot, I will be replaced and the humans will continue attacking. This is not some sort of movie where if you kill the leader, all the underlings fall apart. Killing me does nothing." I sat back, stunned. She had been acting, pretending to be afraid, pretending to show her 'true' emotions. And the human assault would not stop. "You lie!" I screamed at her, "all species' fall without their leader. You kill a pack leader and you become leader, you kill the Devil and the demons fall apart. This is the nature of the world!" She just continued laughing. The Devil needed to be evacuated! The humans may not need their leader but we did. I turned to shout orders to the soldiers outside, and they hurried away, reporting to the Devil. I turned back to the woman. "Your humans may advance, but you will not, we captured you, and rest assured you will not see the light of day again." She stopped laughing and smiled at me. A smile that chilled me to the bone. "What the hell makes you think you were capable enough to capture me...if we didn't let you." The soldier I had commanded to report to the devil returned, one of the human hand devices in his hand, and pointed it at me. "Betrayal," I whispered. Then, fiercely, I turned to the soldier, "Traitor!" He shrugged, untying the human's bonds. "I like to be on the winning side." The woman, now free from her bonds turned to me. "Thank you for bringing me to the most secure location in hell. The tracker I have swallowed has alerted my forces where this is. We will release the most fearsome humans in history from this facility." She turned to walk away. "Kill it," she said in a dismissive gesture, "we have work to do." "Sorry boss," the soldier said with a casual shrug, and shot me. Blackness ensued. * (minor edits) If you enjoyed, check out my new subreddit [XcessiveWriting](https://www.reddit.com/r/XcessiveWriting/) Due to popular demand, I present to you, [Part 2!](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5hk0nq/wp_2021_hell_invades_earth_2022_earth_invades_hell/db1got6/)** EDIT: /u/YouWriteITalk was kind enough to narrate this story. You can find this [here](https://soundcloud.com/user-21186380/the-invasion-of-hell-by-uxcessivesmash)	They must have planned it for years. Maybe even centuries. The war on Earth and the domination of the human race. It was November 11th, 2021. The allied countries of WWI were remembering the loss of those served who their country in past conflicts. It was a day for remembering the atrocities attached with war. On the 11th hour, the ground began to shake and great holes broke open across the world. Hordes of savage beasts broke forth tearing through London, Beijing, New York, Paris, and all major city centers of the world. They were armed with rifles and tore through the unexpected crowds in the beginning. It became quickly apparent that war had come to Earth. Many of the cities fell within days, while generals and leaders scrambled to organize a resistance. The hordes burned all they could, bringing ruin to what humanity had spent generations building. Military bases, however, withstood the attacks, becoming safe havens for the millions of refugees that fled from the cities. The hordes followed, trailing like vines across the surface of the Earth. Those who could not make it to the bases hid in churches. They learned quickly to hide in the basement, as the spawns of Hell could not enter, but they could still fire into the churches. Those who could not find churches searched for ports and naval vessels. As the attacks began to focus on the military bases, a shell tactic was enlisted. Defend until we could attack. It was humanity's only hope. Everything was fine at first, well as fine as it could be. Millions of lives had already been lost, but we were not exterminated by any means. Winter had come early and the extra ash and debris in the atmosphere from the wreckage of our cities made it a particularly harsh winter. Hell's spawn shied away from the north, allowing military forces to mobilize and prepare a counter-attack. The front extended across North America, from the west to east coast and from Europe to Asia, along the north boundaries of France, Germany, Poland, Belarus and Russia. We were preparing to strike in the spring, but then He came. No, not God, Satan. First, his horsemen charged forth from the depths of Hell and split across the continents. They breached the walls of the bases, tore through our lines and supplies and broke apart our communication. Eyes of fire, steeds of death, their skeleton bodies brought terror to everyone who laid eyes on them. Then came Satan, adorned in a charcoal cuirass, his horns spiraling from the top of his head, around his ears, and pointing back up towards the sky. As large as a two-story building, he moved with lightning speed, tearing apart of ranks with nothing but his hands. It felt like the end had come. The story goes in many directions now, but what most people agree on and what shows the most evidence is that priests across the world tore the pages from their bible and on the inside of the spine an inscription was found. It read: Domine care, lucem tuam gratiamque dona nobis. They chanted from the church basements until light broke burst across the Earth, in day and night. The hordes cowered. Some melted in the light, others found refuge in the holes they burst from and from that moment onward, Satan and his horsemen were never seen again. The miracle came on Christmas day. Humanity is battered and broken. We suffered greatly, but we still have strength. As God's light begins to fade, the rumbles in the craters of the earth grow strong. They will return. And as Dylan Thomas wrote, "do not go quietly into the good night," we will "rage, rage against the dying of the light," into the depths of Hell, for Earth, for humanity and for the good in this world. ----------------------- More stories at /r/ItsPronouncedGif. Thank you so much for reading! (If you enjoyed the Hell and Heaven feel of this response, you may also enjoy my [Falling From Heaven](https://www.reddit.com/r/ItsPronouncedGif/comments/5byu7v/falling_from_heaven_series/) series). Part 2 [added](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/5hk0nq/wp_2021_hell_invades_earth_2022_earth_invades_hell/db24veo/).
	[WP] The year is 2027. Humanity has discovered reliable FTL-travel. The universe is filled with other space-capable sentient life - but all other species rely on different forms of magic, despoiling science as something humanity made up to protect their own form of magic.	Forbidden Knowledge The starward face of the palace flickered dim, then bright, then dim again. The architects had conjured it in an otherwise empty system, high above a pulsar. A thousand flags in a thousand times a thousand colours fluttered in the wind from atop exotically tiled spires. Looking through the windows, one could see delegates of a thousand races, walking, slithering or floating about, chattering in eager anticipation of the coming event. The star's light was cut off briefly as the USS Enterprise moved in to dock. James Baldwin closely monitored the ship's diagnostic equipment, ready to call for an abort at a moments notice. The computer suddenly called his attention to the external pressure sensor. 'Captain, we seem to have just entered an atmosphere.' He said. 'Could it be harmful to us or the ship?' Captain Petersen asked. James tabbed through a few menus before replying, 'I don't think so. There seems to be more trace gasses than I might expect in an artificial atmosphere, but otherwise it's just oxygen and nitrogen.' 'Well just keep an eye on it. We'll head right home if things start looking bad.' James nodded and went back to watching the sensors. However, he could not shake the unease he felt in his innards. A flourishing civilisation the next system over with incredibly efficient subspace engines, and no radio transmissions. The aliens that greeted the 3-man crew of Earth's first interstellar craft had actually needed to board the ship before they could communicate. The Enterprise drifted over the outer wings of the enormous space-born palace; their alien escort taking the lead. As they crested an especially tall part of the improbable building Chris Tucker, the mission's pilot, spoke up. 'Well, I'll be darned if there aren't a lot of them.' James just stared, his computer screen forgotten. Hundreds of craft, as different in design as could be conceived, sat in a grand courtyard that must have been at least three miles across. Chris manoeuvred the Enterprise past a black claw-like vessel, and almost hit something that resembled a glass snowflake. Beyond it sat a scaled-up biplane. It even looked like it had been built from wood and canvass. They finally set down next to their escort, the bulky cylinder of the Enterprise making an ugly impression next to the pale, swan-necked craft. Petersen unstrapped himself from his seat next to James and said: 'Lets suit up. Even if the sensors claim we can breath the air, I don't want to catch the vulcan Flu or whatever. Let me do the talking, lets keep it civil, and don't stare at anything.' * * * James' mouth gaped slightly. Meeting aliens was not that surprising. Humans had speculated for years about alien life, and had anticipated everything from tall, hairy people to sentient clouds. But aliens were supposed to be scientifically advanced. 'It is a matter of universal precept,' The purple Giraffe was saying, 'to have the source of your power recorded in the archive. It is guarantor of peace.' 'Well, our ship is powered by a fusion drive.' Chris chipped in. The large and varied audience softly laughed at that, and the giraffe cracked a smile. 'So nobody in this room is aware of nuclear fusion?' The captain shouted over the noise, turning as he did so. Nobody spoke up. 'How do you travel though space then?' James asked. 'Us Long Horse people call upon the Great River to guide our paths amidst the empty space.' The giraffe said. All three of the astronauts looked blankly at him. 'We conjure the fire that lies beyond seeing to do our bidding.' The giant standing in the corner added unhelpfully. 'The crafts of the arkmagister are beyond the understanding of mere mortals.' Said a snooty Elf look-alike. To James, this was starting to sound far too much like magic, so he decided to ask another question. 'Have any of you ever looked at how stars work?' He asked. There was a disturbance in the crowd as a beetle-like alien scuttled forward to where he could be heard. 'We did that thing once,' It clicked. 'But we gave up that thing after we found nothing but useless gas things.' James seized on the bug's point. 'Yes, exactly. The gasses are compressed and forced together. It causes them to catch fire. That is what fusion is, and how-' James ran out of air for a moment. The palace around him flickered. The aliens waved arms, legs and wings around with no gravity to pull them down. Then the palace was back again, and James took a deep, very welcome breath. 'Actually, I think it best that you keep your terrible secret to yourselves.' The giraffe said, quietly.	"What is metal, other than another kind of crystal?", Kit chided as he fired another volley of railguns into the Saurothrop armor. The ships were close, too close, and most weapons were too destructive for either party to fire at this range. They were so close that the crew was feeling antsy.. Angry.. Saurothrop vessel relied on an otherwise impossible particle, crystallized rage. Most other aliens encountered had some variant, that when contained and forced to interact with normal matter, produced effects, than would be turned into propulsion, weapons, life support, and FTL. Most of these creatures regarded this as magic, religious dogma, or superstitious ritual. Humans technically had their own crystals, colloquially called "the bucket of mirrors", reverse engineered from what was assumed to be naturally formed crystal on Venus. Crystals that bore a sharp resemblance to the Saurothrop crystals, whom inhabit hot metallic worlds like Venus. A white hot fusion beam arced across their bow, Kit threw the ship to starboard and while Leigh fired. The neural link let them merge their thoughts so that they got more than the sum of their individual combat ability. Both focused on knocking more armor off with the next volley, as the Saurothrop raged wild and hot, through the darkness. A Javvan vessel flashed into existence, again too close. The pair blinked as the exotic radiation dumped from the FTL burst washed over them. It stunned the Saurothrop too, and the pair launched another volley into the monsters armor. "Hopefully the Javvans aren't here to fight.. or at least not here to fight us.", the linked pair remarked to themselves. But there's only one species discovered that was as good at betrayal as Humans were, and it was the Javvans. They were once human, their ancestors had been born on Earth. But when Atlantis fell, they took to the stars, and had since evolved such that the two could no longer interbreed. The hum from the Javvan warship resonated in their skulls, and Kit tossed the ship into a spiral instinctively. The kinetic burst slammed into the ship, and the nav systems lost all ability to compensate from the spin. The pair’s bodies were pressed upward and to the right at a gruesome angle, the G force threatening their consciousness and their lives. Ships AI took over, firing counter-bursts and injecting the pair with blood stabilizers. A few moments later the pair recovered enough to take over, and simultaneously decided to refrain from engaging the superior Javvan vessel in the hope it would distract the Saurothrop long enough for them to escape. The FTL spooler was still stuck at 33%. They had to get farther away from the trinary stars of this blasted system. The massive Saurothrop battleship and now the Javvan cruiser both stood in their way. Kit took the rails and fired a glancing volley at the Saurothrop, hoping to trick the berserk creatures into rotating the vessel away from their escape path. Leigh commanded a series of jukes, angling the remaining armor plates toward their foes. Another beam tore at them, while a trio of fusion bomb streaked past the Javvans. "Dumbasses are fighting us both. Sweet." Rails barely clipped the edge of the battleship armor as the pair tore toward out-system space. Spooler read 41%. The massive Javvan vessel, which appeared more like a stone citadel plated in gold, rolled far lighter than the Saurothrop could manage, and began slamming the beasts with focused Qi, or as human scientists would call them, telemetric boson exciters. While no single burst did more than rock the creatures, millions of tiny micro-fractures were forming in the Saurothrop vessels crystalline superstructure. If the Javvan could stand the heat long enough, they could crack the battleship into a dozen pieces and let the secondary explosions finish the kill. Two of the bombs had been crushed by powerful tidal force, but one still detonated on the far side of the Javvan craft. Hard radiation scoured the golden craft, and its inhabitants. Both the Humans and the Saurothrop were shielded by the victims hull, and an iridescent rainbow briefly appeared on the sensors. "Fuck..", one of them breathed. The computer gauged the danger, and was burning through the overclock wetware now. The pair was more mentally connected than most people were with their own psyches a mere generation ago. Dozens of antimatter-infused armor-piercing Mk.VI rails slid through empty space at a tenth the speed of light, -taking out a decent chunk of Saurothrop armor and crippling one of their massive engine manifolds, pinning the massive craft temporary facing the Javvan. The beasts screamed feverishly into the widening gap, and Kit growled back, emptying the insanely expensive and volatile rounds into an otherwise unremarkable chunk of the battleships superstructure. As the spooler crept above 90%, the aliens began focusing on each other. The Saurothrop vessel launched another volley of far side bombs, and tore into the Javvan cruiser with fusion beams, vaporizing wide strips of armor and slagging anything underneath. Emotions of pain and sorrow poured from the dying craft like molded rotting caramel, and a single tear slid from Leigh’s cheek. The Saurothrop tone mellowed from rage as hot as their weapons, to sickening laughter; euphoria reveling in the deaths of other lifeforms. Xenocidiphilia. The small humans crafts hull baked as the Saurothrop beamed them with their signature maser-comms. The ships commander gloated in the monsters sharp barking language. > "Running will only allow your suffering to soak into your pathetic mewling hearts. We will feast on your death regardless." The ships computer had the pair unlinked, and Leigh yawned at the alert. Kit shook his head, "No, there’s data encoded in the message." Interested, Leigh pulled up the console. Spooler reached 100%. Saurothrop began pursuing them. The data was a simple set of FTL coordinates. The same ones they had loaded into the spooler. The Coordinates for Earth. ************** EDIT: typos, missing words, etc...
	[WP] The year is 2027. Humanity has discovered reliable FTL-travel. The universe is filled with other space-capable sentient life - but all other species rely on different forms of magic, despoiling science as something humanity made up to protect their own form of magic.	"I don't understand the hesitance to call it what it is," says Ormond. "A repeated ritual to invoke a result. That's magic." "Well, no," says Glenn. "Magic relies on supernatural forces. Science is based purely on natural phenomenon." "FTL-drives certainly aren't a naturally occurring phenomenon." "That's not what supernatural - Okay, okay," says Glenn. "I think there may be some sort of translation error going on here. Why don't you define science for me, and define magic for me, and we'll work it out from there." "Magic is the imposition of one's will on reality via the use of rituals and actions and language," Ormond says. "That's a - No, that's a very vague -" "Whereas science," Ormond goes on, "is the acquisition and organization of knowledge through hypothesis, experimentation, and observation." "I - Hold on," Glenn says, and begins fiddling around with the translator, squinting. "All right," Glenn says at last, "those might be viable definitions for magic and science, but the way you're using them - You're overlapping them!" "Yes," says Ormond. "Don't you?" "No! They're two separate categories! Magic is - magic is hoodoo. Nonsense. It relies on some mystical explanation like gods or - or some other magical force. Science is the study and understanding of the world around us!" "The world around us did not consist of FTL-drives until we conceived of them," Ormond says. "Oh for -! You're twisting it up again! It's our understanding of physics that allowed us to invent them!" "Precisely," Ormond says. "Science formed the intellectual base that allowed us the capacity to create FTL-drives. But to actually create FTL-drives, to alter existence according to our wants and desires, through ritual and action and language - that was magic." "This is a fucking pointless discussion," says Glenn. "It's all semantics!" "I don't see why you're so hostile to the point," says Ormond. "A complete organized system of knowledge is never going to create anything on its own. The creation of an FTL-drive is not inherent in the understanding of physics. It was your desire to impose your will on the universe, to seek beyond the stars, that led to its creation. You desired something, and you willed it into being. That part is magic." "And I don't understand," says Glenn, "why you're so insistent on the point." "Your insistence on the primacy of science," says Ormond, "reveals an ideological fatalism about the universe. You study something, and come to understand that this is how things are, and therefore come to believe that this is how things must be. But it is not the fate of sapient life to merely categorize and re-state the information inherent in the universe. We are capable of changing things. You, you humans, you are capable of changing the way the universe functions. We are all capable of magic." "Still a lot of fucking semantics," says Glenn after a moment. "Does it really serve any practical purpose?" "Yes," says Ormond. "For example: I believe you are magical. I believe it is nothing less than magic that you reached past the stars and found your way to us, and I consider it magical to have been able to meet you." "Well," says Glenn. "All right. It was pretty fucking magical to meet you too. I guess I can live with that."	It was probably something our ancestors knew from the start, consciousness being the center of achievable reality that is. In hindsight there were signs, instead of accepting psychics we ridiculed them, instead of listening to those with outrageous views we sent them to mental institutions. Perhaps, like with anything in history, it was always to be the persecutors, our scientific society, that were always doomed to fail and crumble. Now we understand that Rupert Sheldrake was right, our very fabric of reality is ever flowing and ever changing. He predicted subtle changes but never could have known that it was in truth our very notions that held it together. Who would have known what the law of attraction could yield. Knowledge that was released to the masses and adopted by few eventually led us to prove that the Heisenberg uncertainty principle not only applied to an electron, but rather conscious reality. Until it is perceived it is everywhere and all possibilities are true, that is now our world. All our knowledge was dismantled when Elon Musk and his space X team developed the warp drive, a means to bend the fabric of space-time and "bring the location to you" as he put it. At first it was nothing more than distant planets with microbial life we discovered but one day it happened. The world had gotten over the shock that we are not alone in the universe but somehow expected to be the only ones with advanced technologies for a number of decades at least. That is when what we now call the Specters arrived on the scene. We discovered a device on a planet, similar to the one at Cern and had Google's Deep Mind AI technology reverse engineer it. To our dismay it turned out to be an advanced multidimensional transporter, allowing matter to be trans-mutated to one of 11 other dimensions. It operated on nothing we had ever seen before, it was powered by intention, that was our first clue something was up! 200 years passed until the human race organised themselves to operate the device and sent the first person through. Ancestors who had been downloaded into computers during the 2045 movement waited eagerly along with those of us who were in body form at the time to see what the result would be. For 2 years nothing came back until one day all the planets that we were inhabiting were surrounded by what I can only describe as a shimmering veil. The veil itself was as if looking through a holographic AR set, with our reality then looking more like the projection than the physical. All of a sudden it was gone and I was standing in a ball of light, it seemed as if I was on the inside of the sun looking out. Other balls of light came towards me and began to speak. They spoke in tones that I understood but were like no words I had ever heard, then it all went dark as I fell inward to what looked like a black hole. When I awoke I was greeted by others that explained how the new world work, everything was intention based and materialized like magic, we had the ability to do whatever we wanted. Most importantly however is that we were informed that the universe we once lived in was like an egg or a test, preparing us for the ascension through the layers of dimensions. I write this with the perception of 5 dimensions to you, a letter to your 4 dimensional self. You now perceive only the x, y, z axes and time.... It is now "Time" to realize more is coming. NOTE; This is my first ever and I am dyslexic. NOTE 2; I based this on the reality we live in now with some cool Dan Brown style references Edit: Sorry I didn't stick to the timeline, just noticed now.
	[WP] A single Roman sentry stands on the wall at the northern most edge of the Roman empire in frozen Britain. On the horizon, he sees something he thought was merely legend.	"Lucius!" "Mm?" "LUCIUS!" "WHAT?!" "Get up here! There's something in the distance." "There's always something in the distance Felix, that is why Hadrian built the damn wall, now let me sleep." "Luci-" "FINE! Now quiet down and get out of the way, you'll wake the whole of Caledonia with your squawking." Emerging from a makeshift tent propped against the wall, Lucius, clearly unhappy with his premature awakening, stomped up the steps leading to the ridge of the fortification. "Look, look! Right there!" cried Felix, pointing with his pilum in a unspecified, northerly direction. Lucius stared, trying to identify the object of his young comrade's attention. "Jupiter save us, you've finally gone mad Felix. I see nothing." "NO NO! You don't understand! That hillock, it wasn't there yesterday, I swear on my mother's life!" "I'm going back to sleep," announced Lucius, "I take no responsibility for my actions if you wake me aga-" Suddenly, the silence of the dewy morning was pierced by a roar unlike any either of the sentries had ever before heard. As the ground shook, Lucius' mind was immediately drawn to the tales of Vesuvius he had heard as a child. "An eruption?!" asked Lucius, turning once again to face the hills of the pictlands. "An earthquake?!" "Pray to the Gods brother; for that hillock is now a mountain, and it has sprouted limbs!" screamed Felix, eyes widening at the terror bounding towards the wall. "Romanos beag a reáchtáil!" roared the humongous giant, adorned in light blue tattoos and a kilt the size of seventy men, "Benandonner riamh thriail latin roimh!"	_"What's out there?"_ "_Them._" The conversation was always short and sweet with the new legionaries that shipped in. Rotation forces were fun to torment in subtle ways. They still had their bronzed flesh from the long march north through barbarian territory and still carried themselves bound up in a second pair of robes in the northern wind. They would settle in well, as so many always did, but they would still peer out into the edge of the Roman frontier. Still gaze into that unknown abyss beyond the wall and into the wilds. It had been 13 months since arriving, he had volunteered to remain another 11 months more. Promises of a promotion and a comfortable position back in mainland Rome had enticed Lanius into spending more of his waning youth attached to the frontier outposts. He kept his cloak loosely around his shoulders, letting the wind cool against his paling skin as he patrolled the line. Darkness at the edge of the world seemed ever more complete. The torches would flicker in the wills of weather and sentries would crowd closer to the flame in the nearing winter. Lanius strode from light to light, asking after his fellow soldiers. The checks were the same each night. Ensure they had their water, ask after their bread stores, try and catch some sneaking wine on post, inspect their weapons for readiness. The full moon would make checking the edge of a gladius by eye easier but would hinder his odds of catching the drinkers with little satchets of wine. Between flames along the wall the wind picked up his flowing cloak and nearly pulled him over. Lanius had to brace against the edge of the wall to keep from being blown away. The temperature dropped and with it came a sheet of white, dusty snow. Moonlight reflected quickly off of fresh fall and the world glowed in a ghastly haze of light. The trees at the frontier; cut, cleared, and harvested to build the wall he stood on, seemed much closer as he peered. Then he could see it, without a single doubt in his mind. It wasn't the forest that had grown closer, but a swarm of living beings crouching towards the ramparts. Lanius dashed toward the nearest flame just as the arrows began to impact in wicked thumps all around him. 11 more months seemed like a very different amount of time, suddenly.
	[WP] Christmas, 2100. Santa knew this day would come... he must deliver presents to first children born on Mars.	Sitting behind his desk, Santa booted up his laptop and took a sip of coffee from his mug. It read #1 SANTA, courtesy of a secret gift exchange last Christmas from an elf that still hadn't owned up to it. The coffee slowly seemed to wipe the morning sleep from his eyes and he got to work. Since it was still March, he email inbox was still relatively empty of Christmas letters, making his morning routine relatively quick. He answered the Easter Bunny, letting him know that both he and Mrs. Claus would be over Sunday for brunch, and was halfway through moving some spam into the appropriate folder when he received a soft knock at his door. "Yes?" A small elf popped his head around the office door. Miles...Mitch...Myron! That was it. Myron from "Naughty and Nice Tracking" "Uh, good morning, sir." "Good morning, Myron. What can I do for you?" "Well sir, there's...there's something you're going to want to see. We kind of aren't sure what to do with it." "What exactly do you mean?" "I think it might be easier to show you sir. Make sure you grab your coat too." Downing the last of his coffee, Santa folded out from behind his desk. Grabbing his red coat from the hook behind the door, he tugged it on and followed Myron out into the snow of the North Pole. Rather than trudge towards the main N&N Tracking building that housed The List and the Global Child Tracker, he waved Santa to the left, out toward the Reindeer Stables. "Myron, where are we going?" "Well Jingles found it yesterday sir, out behind the stables." "It?" Myron pointed toward the back wall. Santa squinted before pulling his glasses from his coat pocket and placing them onto his face. He certainly wasn't as young as he used to be. Finally able to see it, he immediately took the glasses back off and rubbed his eyes, hardly believing what was there. Sitting calmly about three feet off the ground, was a single blinking green light. "Is that?" "It is, sir. Identical to the Nice Child tracker lights on the Global Child Tracker." "But what is it possibly doing out here. Is the Tracker broken?" "That was our first thought too sir, we spend most of yesterday running diagnostics. The Tracker is running perfectly." "Then that means that there's a child..." "Yes sir, we ran the numbers. Just over 400 million kilometers. And once we assumed it was right, the next step was to figure out how." The pair began to walk through the snow back toward the N&N Tracking building. "What did you find?" "Well, it didn't actually take long once we started digging through the news. Twitter turned out to be extremely useful, we really should follow things from down south more often." They stepped through the door and into the Naughty & Nice Building, knocking the slush and snow from their boots. All around the main room any number of elves hustled and bustled. Tickers fed out updates on naughty statuses that were read and acted on by elves that would put any New York Stock Exchange broker to shame in shouting ability. Floating in the center of the chamber, a magical scale globe of the earth updated in real time, green dots for nice and red dots for naughty. Leading Santa over to a computer in the corner, Myron dropped into the chair in front of it and motioned for his boss to take the other. A quick glance told Santa the chair was clearly built for someone of more...elfin proportions and he elected to stand. A few keystrokes later, Myron turned the monitor towards him. First Child Born on Mars Yesterday the Mars Colony welcomed the first new member not delivered from Earth, the birth of little Raymond Gernsback, a healthy baby boy and the first child born on Mars. His parents, both members of the 3rd wave of colonists, described little Raymond as "unexpected, but welcome," adding that they had never expected to be the parents of the first Martian Santa took a moment to read over the whole news article. He slowly sunk into the previously abandoned chair as he took in everything. While it groaned and creaked under him, it did end up holding him. "Guess we've got about nine months to see if the sleigh can get to space and back then. Was bound to happen sooner or later." ~~~ While the research team had made leaps and bounds in boosting power to the yuletide turbines and solving the issue of letting both Santa and his reindeer breathe in the void of space, the little issue of not burning up reentering the atmosphere had been more difficult. Santa had proven helpful in some regard, when he wasn't making Armageddon references comparing himself to Bruce Willis and making exaggerated slow-motion walks through the halls of the building. With a bit of holiday magic from the big guy, they finally developed a system they called the White Christmas machine, effectively venting the excess heat and keeping Santa from landing as a lump of coal. Lead Technician Winston leaned across the terminal as Prototype Comet was lowered into place. His junior technicians called out as pre-flight preparations were completed. "Yuletide turbines charged" "Jinglebell launch system armed" "All systems are a go, Santa..." "Use the code name!" Winston sighed, "All systems are a go...Jolly Elf One" Santa sat perched in the drivers seat, dressed in something that can only be described as one part spacesuit one part WWI bomber, peering over at his crew behind blastproof glass through bright red aviator goggles and a red leather bomber cap. His eight reindeer were hitched to the sleigh, stamping at the bit for the test flight. A slew of unmanned flights and simple low orbit missions had proved the technology functional, but this would be the first to "slip the surly bonds of earth" so to speak. If everything went according to plan, Santa would be doing a quick orbit of the moon in prep for what he had been calling Operation Reindeer Games...really just his plan to try and deliver presents across the Earth and Mars in a single night. The turbines should generate enough power to get him up to speeds that would allow the distance to be possible. "This is Jolly Elf One, standing by!" Santa voiced over the comm, flashing the crew a thumbs-up. "Alright then sir, on your mark." "Engage!" At his boss's signal, Wintson pressed the glowing button on his terminal, catapulting the sleigh down the runway and into the night sky and straight out into space. ~~~ Santa touched down in a open field in Arsia Mons on the Martian surface. The bright red dust he kicked up paired well with the green sleigh. Geothermal generators churned away, creating power for the collection of colony buildings on the surface and leading down into the natural caves where the main colony was situated. He sidled up to the ventilation system, but a finger to his nose, and in the blink of an eye was standing in the living quarters of the Gernsback family. The room was cozy but efficient. No ability to grow anything close to a full tree, so a small potted plant did the job, adorned with tiny ornaments and a small tree topper in the shape of a star. Santa rummaged around in his sack of gifts and pulled out a small collection of wrapped gifts, including the holiday's hottest toy, Tickle Me Space Elmo. He paused by the plate of cookies made from ration bars and soy milk grown from soybeans right there on the colony. Might not be the most elaborate snack he'd ever stopped for, but it certainly did the job. With a wink and a flash, he was back on the surface and stepping back into the sleigh to head home. "Operation Reindeer Games was a success, I'm packing this up and heading home boys, put the cocoa on. I'll see you soon."	Christmas eve, 2100. Santa is preparing for his flight. Sled rockets: Check. Afterburners: Check. Spacesuit pressure: Pressurized. Dammit. I need to deliver presents to all kids, and that one kid on mars. Six months away. I need to cut that down to 15 minutes both ways. "Jingle, get the experiment." An alien symbiote. Found by NASA, they gave it to me for assistance with my run. I worked my ass off to get that thing to a passive state. "Sir, are you sure you want to do this?" "Yes, Jingle, I'm very sure." Here goes nothing.
	[WP] Christmas, 2100. Santa knew this day would come... he must deliver presents to first children born on Mars.	Sitting behind his desk, Santa booted up his laptop and took a sip of coffee from his mug. It read #1 SANTA, courtesy of a secret gift exchange last Christmas from an elf that still hadn't owned up to it. The coffee slowly seemed to wipe the morning sleep from his eyes and he got to work. Since it was still March, he email inbox was still relatively empty of Christmas letters, making his morning routine relatively quick. He answered the Easter Bunny, letting him know that both he and Mrs. Claus would be over Sunday for brunch, and was halfway through moving some spam into the appropriate folder when he received a soft knock at his door. "Yes?" A small elf popped his head around the office door. Miles...Mitch...Myron! That was it. Myron from "Naughty and Nice Tracking" "Uh, good morning, sir." "Good morning, Myron. What can I do for you?" "Well sir, there's...there's something you're going to want to see. We kind of aren't sure what to do with it." "What exactly do you mean?" "I think it might be easier to show you sir. Make sure you grab your coat too." Downing the last of his coffee, Santa folded out from behind his desk. Grabbing his red coat from the hook behind the door, he tugged it on and followed Myron out into the snow of the North Pole. Rather than trudge towards the main N&N Tracking building that housed The List and the Global Child Tracker, he waved Santa to the left, out toward the Reindeer Stables. "Myron, where are we going?" "Well Jingles found it yesterday sir, out behind the stables." "It?" Myron pointed toward the back wall. Santa squinted before pulling his glasses from his coat pocket and placing them onto his face. He certainly wasn't as young as he used to be. Finally able to see it, he immediately took the glasses back off and rubbed his eyes, hardly believing what was there. Sitting calmly about three feet off the ground, was a single blinking green light. "Is that?" "It is, sir. Identical to the Nice Child tracker lights on the Global Child Tracker." "But what is it possibly doing out here. Is the Tracker broken?" "That was our first thought too sir, we spend most of yesterday running diagnostics. The Tracker is running perfectly." "Then that means that there's a child..." "Yes sir, we ran the numbers. Just over 400 million kilometers. And once we assumed it was right, the next step was to figure out how." The pair began to walk through the snow back toward the N&N Tracking building. "What did you find?" "Well, it didn't actually take long once we started digging through the news. Twitter turned out to be extremely useful, we really should follow things from down south more often." They stepped through the door and into the Naughty & Nice Building, knocking the slush and snow from their boots. All around the main room any number of elves hustled and bustled. Tickers fed out updates on naughty statuses that were read and acted on by elves that would put any New York Stock Exchange broker to shame in shouting ability. Floating in the center of the chamber, a magical scale globe of the earth updated in real time, green dots for nice and red dots for naughty. Leading Santa over to a computer in the corner, Myron dropped into the chair in front of it and motioned for his boss to take the other. A quick glance told Santa the chair was clearly built for someone of more...elfin proportions and he elected to stand. A few keystrokes later, Myron turned the monitor towards him. First Child Born on Mars Yesterday the Mars Colony welcomed the first new member not delivered from Earth, the birth of little Raymond Gernsback, a healthy baby boy and the first child born on Mars. His parents, both members of the 3rd wave of colonists, described little Raymond as "unexpected, but welcome," adding that they had never expected to be the parents of the first Martian Santa took a moment to read over the whole news article. He slowly sunk into the previously abandoned chair as he took in everything. While it groaned and creaked under him, it did end up holding him. "Guess we've got about nine months to see if the sleigh can get to space and back then. Was bound to happen sooner or later." ~~~ While the research team had made leaps and bounds in boosting power to the yuletide turbines and solving the issue of letting both Santa and his reindeer breathe in the void of space, the little issue of not burning up reentering the atmosphere had been more difficult. Santa had proven helpful in some regard, when he wasn't making Armageddon references comparing himself to Bruce Willis and making exaggerated slow-motion walks through the halls of the building. With a bit of holiday magic from the big guy, they finally developed a system they called the White Christmas machine, effectively venting the excess heat and keeping Santa from landing as a lump of coal. Lead Technician Winston leaned across the terminal as Prototype Comet was lowered into place. His junior technicians called out as pre-flight preparations were completed. "Yuletide turbines charged" "Jinglebell launch system armed" "All systems are a go, Santa..." "Use the code name!" Winston sighed, "All systems are a go...Jolly Elf One" Santa sat perched in the drivers seat, dressed in something that can only be described as one part spacesuit one part WWI bomber, peering over at his crew behind blastproof glass through bright red aviator goggles and a red leather bomber cap. His eight reindeer were hitched to the sleigh, stamping at the bit for the test flight. A slew of unmanned flights and simple low orbit missions had proved the technology functional, but this would be the first to "slip the surly bonds of earth" so to speak. If everything went according to plan, Santa would be doing a quick orbit of the moon in prep for what he had been calling Operation Reindeer Games...really just his plan to try and deliver presents across the Earth and Mars in a single night. The turbines should generate enough power to get him up to speeds that would allow the distance to be possible. "This is Jolly Elf One, standing by!" Santa voiced over the comm, flashing the crew a thumbs-up. "Alright then sir, on your mark." "Engage!" At his boss's signal, Wintson pressed the glowing button on his terminal, catapulting the sleigh down the runway and into the night sky and straight out into space. ~~~ Santa touched down in a open field in Arsia Mons on the Martian surface. The bright red dust he kicked up paired well with the green sleigh. Geothermal generators churned away, creating power for the collection of colony buildings on the surface and leading down into the natural caves where the main colony was situated. He sidled up to the ventilation system, but a finger to his nose, and in the blink of an eye was standing in the living quarters of the Gernsback family. The room was cozy but efficient. No ability to grow anything close to a full tree, so a small potted plant did the job, adorned with tiny ornaments and a small tree topper in the shape of a star. Santa rummaged around in his sack of gifts and pulled out a small collection of wrapped gifts, including the holiday's hottest toy, Tickle Me Space Elmo. He paused by the plate of cookies made from ration bars and soy milk grown from soybeans right there on the colony. Might not be the most elaborate snack he'd ever stopped for, but it certainly did the job. With a wink and a flash, he was back on the surface and stepping back into the sleigh to head home. "Operation Reindeer Games was a success, I'm packing this up and heading home boys, put the cocoa on. I'll see you soon."	The day that ole Saint Nick decided to sell his soul was the same day he knew that a reckoning would be coming, though he didn't know the who, the when, or even the where. He had traded his soul to the craft old solicitor for an extra 3000 years on the planet earth. Though he was trained in the ways of the Christian lord he had grown disillusioned with the waves of poverty, crime, and suffering that he failed to make even the slightest of break into. So on a cold December day in the year 275 AD, Saint Nick took a dagger, cut into his hand, and signed his name in blood on a page of calcified sulfur taken straight from the underworld itself. The first 1800 years of this deal went as planned. Saint Nick was given a horde of demons to mold into whatever he desired, demons that could shorten themselves and make anything that one could imagine. He used these slaves of satan to build toys to tempt the children who followed the ways of begging and coveting, and rewarded those who were pious enough in their efforts to please the ghost of St Nick with the very best objects of distraction that any human child could desire. This continued uninterrupted until a certain movie with a certain ending and a certain 'F' word blurbed out was distributed to the masses in the year of 1983. Soon after its theatrical release, it dawned upon the once faithful children that perhaps their beloved and vaunted Santa Clause was merely a lie, a figment, a farce, a non-reality. They soon began to disbelieve and blaspheme faster than people dropped their cable TV packages in the 20's. Soon, Santa, who ran his operations off the faith of his followers, began to lose his powers. This didn't cause much of an issue for many years as he only had to deliver presents to an ever dwindling group of loyal followers. But soon the demons began to grow angry, they had committed themselves to three millennia of service on this fat man's behalf, and in a world that North West stopped being a direction and instead became a president it dumbfounded the evil creatures that a man who gives out free toys couldn't inspire the belief in the most mold able animals in all the galaxy, human children. Many years of causing drug addictions, gayness, debt, slavery, or black in complexioness were wasted. Santa begged the devil to give him more time, he only wanted to please and help. But the devil had had enough of the fat man's tom foolery and decided to make a young jew a little too intelligent for his own good in the year 2050. The young man was born of Harvard professors and soon became famous for his prowess in physics and mathematics. He developed a means of propulsion that could send ten thousand people to Mars without stopping for donuts or coffee in only a year. After the venture gained the proper approvals and passed rigorous government audits plans to go to Mars were made, planned, and accomplished in the year of 2100. Santa knew that this was his day of reckoning with the devil, his ultimate test before God. He gathered his remaining reindeer and harnessed them to his sled for one last ride. With one last Ho! Ho! Ho!, the jolly old elf left earth to bring a merry chrismas and good tidings to all martian men.
	[WP] Christmas, 2100. Santa knew this day would come... he must deliver presents to first children born on Mars.	'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the hab, Not a robot was stirring, except in the lab, The stockings were hung by the airlock with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The kids were strapped in, sleeping tight in their bays, With visions of code in their heads, in arrays. And mamma and I had donned VR-gogs, To settle our brains, after a real long slog; When out on the rockscape arose such a banging, I sprang from my bay to check what was loose-hanging. Away to the window, I shot like a sparked flint, Pulled up the blinds, and turned down the tint. The sun on the breast of the red dunes of Mars, Gave a shading of rose-gold to habs next to ours. I saw, to my shock, coming up through the plots, A miniature buggy and eight quadruped bots, With a little old driver, without a space-suit, But dressed in red fleece, and white fur, and black boots. More rapid than nano-scout drones they advanced, And he pinged them and tapped at controls, as they danced: “Now, D-1! Now, D-2! Now, Pran-X and Vixdroid! On, Com-8! On, Q-Ped! On, D-3 and Blitzroid! To the top of the deck! To the top of the hull! Now, hover-mode! Hover-mode! Hover-mode, all!” As detritus that out the airlock does fly, When the pressure changes - shoots into the sky, So up to the hab-tops the quadrupeds rose - With who must have been Santa, I had to suppose. And then, in a blipping, I heard on the hab-top, The tapping and clicking as bots came to a stop. And I called up security feeds on my holo, To get better visuals on this Santa fellow. He was, somehow, breathing, in the Martian air, And his buggy was lit up: a real festive affair. Sacks full of toys were crammed in the back, Tipping and spilling, a haphazard stack. Hie eyes - how they squinted! His frowning, how weary! His cheeks were all concave, his mouth drooping, dreary! His shoulders were sagging with frustrated woe, And his beard was all lank, without fullness or flow. I realized, then, that he had no way to get in, For our hab was sealed tight - he would never win Against our carefully engineered dome: Santa Claus looked very sad and alone. So I toggled a drone that I had parked outside, And moved it to where Santa sat, in his ride. “Hey Santa,” I said, speaking out through the drone, “Do you need a hand? You’re a long way from home.” He said not a word, but unloaded his toys, And pinged me a list of good girls and boys, And laying a finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up into space he rose. His buggy launched with him, his bots flew up too, And they all zoomed away, the entire odd crew. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight - “Leave your stockings outside, next year, alright?”	"I knew this day would come" Said santa and finished his hot coco while the elves started packing the sleigh. "Ok, this is how we're gonna do this. Only ONE present per child this year." Said santa as he began preparing for takeoff. "But... how are you going to make it? Mars is far far away Santa. You will have time for every house.. right?" Said one of the elves while finishing off his last package. "I don't know how I'm gonna brake this to you guys, but we won't have time for EVERYONE... I will have to skip some houses to make sure I get to mars." Said santa as his eyes began to water, he had to blow his nose since he got all snotty. You could really see the disapointment in his eyes as he took off in to the dark dark night. "Now, Timmy. If santa doesn't show up tomorrow. Remember that he still loves you and will give you the dubbel amount of presents next year. This year he might just miss you, but he will never forget you." Said mom and closed the book "Santa's first trip to mars", she took another drinkar she spilled some wine on my only pillow. I was freezing, I had to wear clothes while I slept since our radiators didn't work. Mom said that she didn't want to pay for such a "useless" thing. I had three holes in my only pair of socks. My blanket was thin as paper and my matress reeked of alcohol and filth. Santa has forgotten me every year so far, six years in a row. As the story said, he had to make it to mars, I understod that. But, I still had my hope that for one year, he might remember me. As I fell asleep my last thought was that I might be forgotten this year again. ____________________ My first story, I'm not an native english speaker and I'm definently not a writer, but it was fun writing it. Thank you for reading my story. Happy holidays from Sweden :)
	[WP] Christmas, 2100. Santa knew this day would come... he must deliver presents to first children born on Mars.	"Ground control to Rudolph-1. Come in Rudolph-1. Over." "Ground control. This is Rudolph-1. Go ahead." "Rudolph-1. Our instruments are detecting an anomaly in manifold 6. Can you confirm. Over" "Ground control. Manifold 6 sensors show elevated levels of hydrogen. I'm also seeing a structure fault light on 7. Confirm? Over." "Rudolph-1. Ground control confirms the fault on 7. Please do a pressure release on valves 4, 5, and 6. Over." "Uhh ground control this is Rudolph-1. I just did the pressure release on valve 4 and I've got failure warnings popping up all over now. Can you confirm?" "Rudolph-1. We are positive for the failure warnings across manifolds 1 through 6. Hang tight we're bringing in the engineers for review. Over." "Ground control. This is Rudolph-1. I've got critical structure failures in manifold 6. I've got oxygen alarms in 5 and 6. I need response steps right now. Over." "Rudolph-1. This is the EV-2 team. We got a weight issue causing strain on the manifold. You need to drop 40% of your fuel reser- no. Scratch that. You need to cut 60% of your fuel reserves as soon as possible. Over" "Ground control this is Rudolph-1. I've got severe turbulence. I'm dropping the fuel seals. It seems to be getting worse. I've got oxygen alarms in 1 through 6 now. Do you copy? Over." "Rudolph-1. This is ground control. You are off course. Repeat. You are 31 degrees off course. Trajectory puts you at a negative impact. Repeat. You are on an NI trajectory. You must correct. Over." "This is Rudolph-1. I've got severe turbulence now. I also have pressure failures in 3 through 6. Repeat. Pressure failures in 3 through 6. I can not maintain trajectory. Over." "Ground control to Rudolph-1. Your weight balance is off. Repeat. Weight balance is off. You must correct weight balance now. Jettison all manifolds. Repeat. Require jettison all manifolds immediately. Over." "Ground control those manifolds have all the toys. Please confirm. Request jettison all toys? Over?" "Ground control to Rudolph-1. That is correct. Repeat. Jettison all toys immediately. Over." "Ground control to Rudolph-1. We have a door alarm. Repeat. We have an alarm on door 1. Please advise. Over." "Thi.. Rudol.. 1.. Dro.. ..ing weight. ...ectory on auto.. Plea.. .ell Mar.. I lo.. er.. " "Rudolph-1. You are breaking up. Please repeat. Your circuits are dead. Over." "Mer.. .istmas.."	"I knew this day would come" Said santa and finished his hot coco while the elves started packing the sleigh. "Ok, this is how we're gonna do this. Only ONE present per child this year." Said santa as he began preparing for takeoff. "But... how are you going to make it? Mars is far far away Santa. You will have time for every house.. right?" Said one of the elves while finishing off his last package. "I don't know how I'm gonna brake this to you guys, but we won't have time for EVERYONE... I will have to skip some houses to make sure I get to mars." Said santa as his eyes began to water, he had to blow his nose since he got all snotty. You could really see the disapointment in his eyes as he took off in to the dark dark night. "Now, Timmy. If santa doesn't show up tomorrow. Remember that he still loves you and will give you the dubbel amount of presents next year. This year he might just miss you, but he will never forget you." Said mom and closed the book "Santa's first trip to mars", she took another drinkar she spilled some wine on my only pillow. I was freezing, I had to wear clothes while I slept since our radiators didn't work. Mom said that she didn't want to pay for such a "useless" thing. I had three holes in my only pair of socks. My blanket was thin as paper and my matress reeked of alcohol and filth. Santa has forgotten me every year so far, six years in a row. As the story said, he had to make it to mars, I understod that. But, I still had my hope that for one year, he might remember me. As I fell asleep my last thought was that I might be forgotten this year again. ____________________ My first story, I'm not an native english speaker and I'm definently not a writer, but it was fun writing it. Thank you for reading my story. Happy holidays from Sweden :)
	[WP] Christmas, 2100. Santa knew this day would come... he must deliver presents to first children born on Mars.	'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the hab, Not a robot was stirring, except in the lab, The stockings were hung by the airlock with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The kids were strapped in, sleeping tight in their bays, With visions of code in their heads, in arrays. And mamma and I had donned VR-gogs, To settle our brains, after a real long slog; When out on the rockscape arose such a banging, I sprang from my bay to check what was loose-hanging. Away to the window, I shot like a sparked flint, Pulled up the blinds, and turned down the tint. The sun on the breast of the red dunes of Mars, Gave a shading of rose-gold to habs next to ours. I saw, to my shock, coming up through the plots, A miniature buggy and eight quadruped bots, With a little old driver, without a space-suit, But dressed in red fleece, and white fur, and black boots. More rapid than nano-scout drones they advanced, And he pinged them and tapped at controls, as they danced: “Now, D-1! Now, D-2! Now, Pran-X and Vixdroid! On, Com-8! On, Q-Ped! On, D-3 and Blitzroid! To the top of the deck! To the top of the hull! Now, hover-mode! Hover-mode! Hover-mode, all!” As detritus that out the airlock does fly, When the pressure changes - shoots into the sky, So up to the hab-tops the quadrupeds rose - With who must have been Santa, I had to suppose. And then, in a blipping, I heard on the hab-top, The tapping and clicking as bots came to a stop. And I called up security feeds on my holo, To get better visuals on this Santa fellow. He was, somehow, breathing, in the Martian air, And his buggy was lit up: a real festive affair. Sacks full of toys were crammed in the back, Tipping and spilling, a haphazard stack. Hie eyes - how they squinted! His frowning, how weary! His cheeks were all concave, his mouth drooping, dreary! His shoulders were sagging with frustrated woe, And his beard was all lank, without fullness or flow. I realized, then, that he had no way to get in, For our hab was sealed tight - he would never win Against our carefully engineered dome: Santa Claus looked very sad and alone. So I toggled a drone that I had parked outside, And moved it to where Santa sat, in his ride. “Hey Santa,” I said, speaking out through the drone, “Do you need a hand? You’re a long way from home.” He said not a word, but unloaded his toys, And pinged me a list of good girls and boys, And laying a finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up into space he rose. His buggy launched with him, his bots flew up too, And they all zoomed away, the entire odd crew. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight - “Leave your stockings outside, next year, alright?”	Santa groaned and rose from his plush armchair. He groaned as his bones creaked and crackled. &nbsp; “I’m getting too old for this,” he muttered quietly. He turned and made his way slowly into the kitchen. Mrs. Claus stood in front of the stove, humming as she stirred a boiling pot of soup. She always made him a carafe of hot soup to take with him on his deliveries. He smiled and snuck up behind her, grabbing her by the waist and surprising her with a big kiss. &nbsp; “Oh!” She laughed warmly, wrapping her arms around his jolly frame. “Kris, you funny old man.” The edges of her soft, warm eyes crinkled as she smiled and kissed the tip of his nose. “Are you sure you’re up for tonight? You’re not as young as you once were. Perhaps it’s time to bring in an apprentice?” He smiled at. My god, I love that woman, he thought to himself. &nbsp; “I’ll be alright, honey. But you’re right, after this year, it’s probably time to bring on an apprentice. I’ll have to make this run alone, though. We don’t know how it will work.” Mrs. Claus looked up at him, worry creasing her forehead. &nbsp; Humanity had successfully colonized Mars almost a decade. At first, it didn’t bother the Clauses, because all the residents of that planet were adults, several years past Santa’s age cut-off. But that had all changed this year. This was the first year that any of-age child would be on Mars over Christmas. And now Claus had to include inter-planetary travel in his trip. He didn’t know how he himself or his reindeer would fare in the harsh darkness of space. Would they survive? Would the magic that enabled them to halt time on Earth still work in space? Santa didn’t know. What he did know, is this was the most dangerous of all his Christmas runs, and he was very worried. &nbsp; -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; Mr. and Mrs. Claus enjoyed their traditional mugs of cocoa before his flight. Santa sighed softly as he watched Mrs. Claus finish her cup and slip slowly into a deep slumber. He knew she would have been up all night worrying, so he was glad she hadn’t noticed the sedative he slipped into her cocoa. Slowly, achingly, Mr. Claus carried Mrs. Claus upstairs and tucked her into the warm, fluffy bed. Then, he turned to the closet and pulled out his suit for the nights events. After changed, he placed a small package on his side of the bed, and left to ready his sleigh. &nbsp; “Alright boys, let’s gear up.” Even the reindeer could sense Santa’s subdued demeanor, and they were not cooperating with his attempts to get them all bridled and hooked up to the massive sleigh. Finally, he had to raise his voice: “Hop to!” He shouted over their snorts and stamps of protest. They reluctantly obeyed. Santa had decided to do all the homes on Earth first. If something should happen to him, he at least wanted the boys and girls of Earth to have one last magical Christmas. They completed that route in record time and stopped for a break on the plains of Africa. The reindeer were fed and watered, and Santa sipped slowly on the warm soup his wife had so lovingly made him. Finally, and with great anxiety, Santa cracked the reins and they soared up into the air. They glided past the clouds and then, suddenly, they entered the great darkness which is space. &nbsp; --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; Mrs. Claus awoke with a start, sitting straight up in bed. She couldn’t figure out what had happened. The last thing she remembered was drinking cocoa with Nick and then… She turned to see if he was asleep in the bed next to her, but it was empty except for a small package. She opened it and lifted out a neatly hand-written letter: &nbsp; My darling, if you are reading this, then that means my worst fears were realized. I was not able to complete the Mars run and am trapped in space or perished. My love, I am so never-endingly sorry to leave you this way, but please know how much I love you and how I only wanted to spare you further pain. You are by far the most beautiful and wonderful thing in my life, and I hope this gift, my last Christmas gift, will forever be a reminder of my unending love for you. Yours always, Claus. &nbsp; At the bottom of the package was a necklace with an infinity charm formed from his wedding ring, hand-wrought. &nbsp; So leave out not cookies and milk this year, kids. Leave out maybe a stiff drink and a pack of smokes. Christmas time is hard for Widow Claus…
	[WP] Christmas, 2100. Santa knew this day would come... he must deliver presents to first children born on Mars.	"Ground control to Rudolph-1. Come in Rudolph-1. Over." "Ground control. This is Rudolph-1. Go ahead." "Rudolph-1. Our instruments are detecting an anomaly in manifold 6. Can you confirm. Over" "Ground control. Manifold 6 sensors show elevated levels of hydrogen. I'm also seeing a structure fault light on 7. Confirm? Over." "Rudolph-1. Ground control confirms the fault on 7. Please do a pressure release on valves 4, 5, and 6. Over." "Uhh ground control this is Rudolph-1. I just did the pressure release on valve 4 and I've got failure warnings popping up all over now. Can you confirm?" "Rudolph-1. We are positive for the failure warnings across manifolds 1 through 6. Hang tight we're bringing in the engineers for review. Over." "Ground control. This is Rudolph-1. I've got critical structure failures in manifold 6. I've got oxygen alarms in 5 and 6. I need response steps right now. Over." "Rudolph-1. This is the EV-2 team. We got a weight issue causing strain on the manifold. You need to drop 40% of your fuel reser- no. Scratch that. You need to cut 60% of your fuel reserves as soon as possible. Over" "Ground control this is Rudolph-1. I've got severe turbulence. I'm dropping the fuel seals. It seems to be getting worse. I've got oxygen alarms in 1 through 6 now. Do you copy? Over." "Rudolph-1. This is ground control. You are off course. Repeat. You are 31 degrees off course. Trajectory puts you at a negative impact. Repeat. You are on an NI trajectory. You must correct. Over." "This is Rudolph-1. I've got severe turbulence now. I also have pressure failures in 3 through 6. Repeat. Pressure failures in 3 through 6. I can not maintain trajectory. Over." "Ground control to Rudolph-1. Your weight balance is off. Repeat. Weight balance is off. You must correct weight balance now. Jettison all manifolds. Repeat. Require jettison all manifolds immediately. Over." "Ground control those manifolds have all the toys. Please confirm. Request jettison all toys? Over?" "Ground control to Rudolph-1. That is correct. Repeat. Jettison all toys immediately. Over." "Ground control to Rudolph-1. We have a door alarm. Repeat. We have an alarm on door 1. Please advise. Over." "Thi.. Rudol.. 1.. Dro.. ..ing weight. ...ectory on auto.. Plea.. .ell Mar.. I lo.. er.. " "Rudolph-1. You are breaking up. Please repeat. Your circuits are dead. Over." "Mer.. .istmas.."	Santa groaned and rose from his plush armchair. He groaned as his bones creaked and crackled. &nbsp; “I’m getting too old for this,” he muttered quietly. He turned and made his way slowly into the kitchen. Mrs. Claus stood in front of the stove, humming as she stirred a boiling pot of soup. She always made him a carafe of hot soup to take with him on his deliveries. He smiled and snuck up behind her, grabbing her by the waist and surprising her with a big kiss. &nbsp; “Oh!” She laughed warmly, wrapping her arms around his jolly frame. “Kris, you funny old man.” The edges of her soft, warm eyes crinkled as she smiled and kissed the tip of his nose. “Are you sure you’re up for tonight? You’re not as young as you once were. Perhaps it’s time to bring in an apprentice?” He smiled at. My god, I love that woman, he thought to himself. &nbsp; “I’ll be alright, honey. But you’re right, after this year, it’s probably time to bring on an apprentice. I’ll have to make this run alone, though. We don’t know how it will work.” Mrs. Claus looked up at him, worry creasing her forehead. &nbsp; Humanity had successfully colonized Mars almost a decade. At first, it didn’t bother the Clauses, because all the residents of that planet were adults, several years past Santa’s age cut-off. But that had all changed this year. This was the first year that any of-age child would be on Mars over Christmas. And now Claus had to include inter-planetary travel in his trip. He didn’t know how he himself or his reindeer would fare in the harsh darkness of space. Would they survive? Would the magic that enabled them to halt time on Earth still work in space? Santa didn’t know. What he did know, is this was the most dangerous of all his Christmas runs, and he was very worried. &nbsp; -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; Mr. and Mrs. Claus enjoyed their traditional mugs of cocoa before his flight. Santa sighed softly as he watched Mrs. Claus finish her cup and slip slowly into a deep slumber. He knew she would have been up all night worrying, so he was glad she hadn’t noticed the sedative he slipped into her cocoa. Slowly, achingly, Mr. Claus carried Mrs. Claus upstairs and tucked her into the warm, fluffy bed. Then, he turned to the closet and pulled out his suit for the nights events. After changed, he placed a small package on his side of the bed, and left to ready his sleigh. &nbsp; “Alright boys, let’s gear up.” Even the reindeer could sense Santa’s subdued demeanor, and they were not cooperating with his attempts to get them all bridled and hooked up to the massive sleigh. Finally, he had to raise his voice: “Hop to!” He shouted over their snorts and stamps of protest. They reluctantly obeyed. Santa had decided to do all the homes on Earth first. If something should happen to him, he at least wanted the boys and girls of Earth to have one last magical Christmas. They completed that route in record time and stopped for a break on the plains of Africa. The reindeer were fed and watered, and Santa sipped slowly on the warm soup his wife had so lovingly made him. Finally, and with great anxiety, Santa cracked the reins and they soared up into the air. They glided past the clouds and then, suddenly, they entered the great darkness which is space. &nbsp; --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- &nbsp; Mrs. Claus awoke with a start, sitting straight up in bed. She couldn’t figure out what had happened. The last thing she remembered was drinking cocoa with Nick and then… She turned to see if he was asleep in the bed next to her, but it was empty except for a small package. She opened it and lifted out a neatly hand-written letter: &nbsp; My darling, if you are reading this, then that means my worst fears were realized. I was not able to complete the Mars run and am trapped in space or perished. My love, I am so never-endingly sorry to leave you this way, but please know how much I love you and how I only wanted to spare you further pain. You are by far the most beautiful and wonderful thing in my life, and I hope this gift, my last Christmas gift, will forever be a reminder of my unending love for you. Yours always, Claus. &nbsp; At the bottom of the package was a necklace with an infinity charm formed from his wedding ring, hand-wrought. &nbsp; So leave out not cookies and milk this year, kids. Leave out maybe a stiff drink and a pack of smokes. Christmas time is hard for Widow Claus…
	[WP]You are a genius inventor, however every time you are about to publish your work someone else does it before you leaving you with no credit. Suddenly, you have the idea to invent a time machine and go back in time to steal your own finished work before others do.	"Uncle, why didn't you file a patent when you finished it? It takes a few hours at most." Ableton sighed, pressing his palms into his forehead. "That's time taken away from creating, Ableton. Why should I waste precious hours in mundanities when the world offers so much beyond the organizations of men?" Piotr clapped twice, and gears started turning, generating a magnetic field. As the gears cranked faster, the glass bulbs above them flickered and burned to life - a lost, rediscovered relic of Nikola Tesla's laboratory a century before. "You are living on welfare. Any of your last ten inventions would have made you a millionaire, probably a hundred times over. Your offhanded suggestions to those scientists in Boston won them a Nobel prize. Surely you care somewhat to reap the rewards of your genius." "I don't care for honors. They are made by men to congratulate other men on what wonderful work they have all done. Hardly noble. I've got the prize right here. The prize is doing the work, discovering what secrets nature begs to tell us, and harnessing them to bend the laws of physics and chemistry. Besides, my latest invention will cure all of your concerns." Piotr lit a flame under a flask of clear liquid and retreated to the cabinet. "Does it fill out your provisional patents?" Ableton sneered. "Far better than that - it defies the laws of physics as we know them today." Piotr returned to the boiling flask with a mug and loose leaf tea in a steel ball, pouring himself a cup. "Tea?" "It's a time machine, isn't it?" Ableton took the cup. "If you would crudely describe it as such." Piotr dropped a block of dry ice into his own cup, jostled it around, and took a sip. "Step over to the capsule and take a look inside." Ableton pulled down the handle, which emitted the hiss of air rushing through vents into a vacuum chamber. The door unlocked and opened a moment later. "This is incredible, uncle Piotr. The craftsmanship and engineering suggests you've had the entire team at, I don't know, SpaceX working on this." "IBM, actually. Very good eye." "How can you afford to build these things anyway?" Ableton raised an eyebrow. "Is it not obvious? I go back in time every time someone makes a fortune on my inventions, and I buy stock when they go public. And for any invention that doesn't go well, I go back in time and stop myself from wasting time on it." Ableton paused for a moment. "So you intentionally give your inventions away?" "How else do you think I have time to invent these things?" Piotr sipped his tea. Ableton scratched his chin. "Why don't you care for the fame and honor of being known? You're the greatest inventor since Leonardo da Vinci and scientist since Isaac Newton, and your neighbors call the police because they suspect you're building a meth laboratory." "I have done that." "But no one knows who you are! They deserve to know the truth." Piotr shrugged. "The ideas will last for a millenia. The inventions will lay the foundation for further innovation atop them. The cycle of human ingenuity moves forever forward. I, the human who designed them, will die. What need do I or anyone else have for honors then?" Ableton thought for a moment, until he decided he was content with his uncle's answer. He sipped his tea, looked once more at the time machine, and back to his uncle. "The time machine doesn't work, does it?" "It's a meat locker. I thought the hooks gave it away."	"Never... again... will... it... happen" I say as I tighten the remaining nuts with my leg on my giant wrench, looking like something out of Dexter's Laboratory, channeling my rage against my lost glory into my wrench. This won't even take 1.2 megawatts, talk about efficiency. As the machine starts up, I fantasize about getting revenge on that fucker who steals my thunder like a tall metal rod during a lightning storm. I'll show him. Maybe in some parallel universe I've beaten that shrimp. My products are everywhere, and I know people from the ex-chairman of Radioshack to Billy Mays. Well I would have, if that wart on an asshole didn't suck my fame up. But wait, there's more to this than I thought. If he's done this to all my inventions, he must be aware of this. So I need to sabotage my own invention to prevent him from coming here and stealing? Or maybe I can kill that pisser when he comes here, dead on arrival. In that case I'll get my wrench ready. He's got to come through this machine, he's got no other way to get here. The moment he steps out and POW! Right in the kisser. Oh shit, it's working, step back, the sparks are flying, I'll put on my protective glasses. Boom, he's here. Wait for it- any moment now. Looks like I've outsmarted him this time. &nbsp; When the hell is he coming out? Wait, the lights are going off, he's doing something. Open the door, this is my only chance. Or maybe I'll hit it with a wrench. Sabotage it while he's inside, so he can't escape. Wait, he's opening it! Where is he, and why on earth did I add that smoke effect? Who is he? "Wait- you're me? NO, I need that component for it to work!" "Exactly. Sorry pal, only one of us can win. But Merry Christmas, I got you a time machine too." I throw a giftbox and disappear in a flash. Let's hope the poor slob is a fan of Calvin and Hobbes.
	[WP]You are a genius inventor, however every time you are about to publish your work someone else does it before you leaving you with no credit. Suddenly, you have the idea to invent a time machine and go back in time to steal your own finished work before others do.	There is no one I hate more than Zinbeil. No one as arrogant, as asinine, and as outright audacious as him- and yet, he's managed to outsmart me at every turn. Each time I create an invention, he's at the patent office first, touting an ever so slightly modified version of my design. My first invention was a Freezewave- a microwave that made food cold instead of hot near instantly. But when I brought the design to the patent clerk, she pointed to a design submitted two days before. I gritted my teeth as I recognized my own hard work, my own creation replicated near word for word. That invention had earned millions- millions I could have spent upon new inventions, but instead went to Zinbeil, who eagerly accepted the stolen money. My next invention was a teleportation gun. As soon as the last screw was set, I teleported myself to the patent office. Guess who was already there? A smirking Zinbeil. "What's wrong, Twen?" He laughed, twirling his own teleportation gun on his index finger, the clerk flinching back as the barrel spun in her direction, "You'll have to stand behind me in line- I just got here ten minutes ago, courtesy of my new invention!" "How?" I stuttered in shock, reevaluating my home's ramped up defenses in my mind. Ever since he had taken my first invention, I had reinforced my lab to be stronger than Fort Knox, and had my internet routed through more countries than were in the EU to derail spies. It should have been impossible to penetrate. "Sheer brilliance," he responded, his voice mocking, "One day, maybe you'll have a touch of it!" Then he blasted a wormhole into the air, and stepped through, leaving me and my recently outdated invention behind. It happened with my shrink ray. Then my antigravity sphere. And even my flying car! Ninety-nine inventions he stole from me, until he walked in the circles the richest men on earth, receiving their praise as if he had been the creator. But for invention number one hundred, I wouldn't let him win. So I created a time machine, and traveled back in time to right before I had created the first invention he had stolen, my Freezewave. And on his way into the patent office, I captured Zinbeil., shrinking him down to the size of a baseball with my shrink ray and putting him into my pocket, then locking him in a hamster cage at my home. "You think you're so smart," I asked as he sat behind bars, reclining on a hamster wheel, "You think you can steal my invention and get away with it? Well, you don't know it yet, but you stole ninety eight others before I became so fed up I traveled back in time to stop you!" "You did?" He said, with the same smile on his face as when he stole an invention, "Oh, how clever of your, Twen." "What are you smiling about?" I asked, suspicious, "I've foiled your plan. I've won!" "Have you though?" He asked, "Maybe you should travel back into the future, and see just how well you are doing. Five years should do, go on, you don't have to go the full twenty that you traveled back." "How, how did you know how long I traveled back in time?" "That's not important right now," He answered, and made a shooing motion, "Go on! I'll be here when you get back." I frowned, and did as he said, traveling five years in the future, excited to see all that I had accomplished without Zinbeil in my way. My time machine landed in my front yard and when I stepped out, my eyes widened. Overgrown plants clustered throughout the yard. In the driveway was a Ferrari, the side scraped in a fender bender but never replaced. So I crept forward and stared in the window to my living room and saw myself passed out on the couch. I'd gained weight- at least forty pounds, and usually at this time I would be hard at work in the lab instead of napping. Then I slid inside the door, careful not to awaken myself, and snuck into my lab. I should have had twenty inventions along with several more in production in the five years! But my shelves were bare, all except for my first invention, the Freezewave. And even that was dusty, as if I hadn't touched it in years. So time traveled back, to where Zinbeil was still trapped in the hamster cage, my voice shaking with anger as I spoke. "What, what did you do to me? In the future, how did you sabotage me?" "Me? I did nothing to you, you did that to yourself! You see, after you received the money from the Freezewave, you grew complacent. You bought a new car, went on a few vacations, got yourself into some serious debt by the end of the first year. And you grew soft, Twen. You stopped working- heck, without someone to push you along, you didn't do anything at all!" "What do you mean," I said, "When you were stealing my inventions, I kept making more of them. No one helped me then." "Ah, but I did," He protested, "I kept you on your toes! I kept you moving, kept you chasing the prize in order to beat me, your enemy! You see, Twen, I'm the reason you are who you are. And I want to show you something, your one hundred and first invention." "You already stole that too?" I hissed, "I haven't even created it!" "Precisely. It's your most important one, though. I call it, you call it, the Masker! It does only one thing, and that is to disguise a face of the person holding it. Right now, I'm turning it off." Then he pulled a small device from his pocket, tapping a button as I watched the skin over his face morph. And I gasped as I recognized the face, as I saw my own face staring back from where his had been. "For you see, Twen, I never was Zinbeil. I am you from the future, using the time machine you just created. And now, it's time for you to become Zinbeil and to go steal some of your past inventions. Your good, our good, depends on it." Then he smiled, and winked, and pulled his teleportation gun out to exit the cage. And after an hour of thought, I began drawing up plans for invention one hundred and one. The Masker. *** By Leo If you enjoy Sci FI, check out my best work, [The Bridge](https://leonardpetracci.com/2016/08/03/the-bridge/). The premise is a starship is struck by an asteroid on its way to colonize a distant planet. Now, hundreds of years later, the inhabitants must learn to survive deep space without technology or perish.	"Never... again... will... it... happen" I say as I tighten the remaining nuts with my leg on my giant wrench, looking like something out of Dexter's Laboratory, channeling my rage against my lost glory into my wrench. This won't even take 1.2 megawatts, talk about efficiency. As the machine starts up, I fantasize about getting revenge on that fucker who steals my thunder like a tall metal rod during a lightning storm. I'll show him. Maybe in some parallel universe I've beaten that shrimp. My products are everywhere, and I know people from the ex-chairman of Radioshack to Billy Mays. Well I would have, if that wart on an asshole didn't suck my fame up. But wait, there's more to this than I thought. If he's done this to all my inventions, he must be aware of this. So I need to sabotage my own invention to prevent him from coming here and stealing? Or maybe I can kill that pisser when he comes here, dead on arrival. In that case I'll get my wrench ready. He's got to come through this machine, he's got no other way to get here. The moment he steps out and POW! Right in the kisser. Oh shit, it's working, step back, the sparks are flying, I'll put on my protective glasses. Boom, he's here. Wait for it- any moment now. Looks like I've outsmarted him this time. &nbsp; When the hell is he coming out? Wait, the lights are going off, he's doing something. Open the door, this is my only chance. Or maybe I'll hit it with a wrench. Sabotage it while he's inside, so he can't escape. Wait, he's opening it! Where is he, and why on earth did I add that smoke effect? Who is he? "Wait- you're me? NO, I need that component for it to work!" "Exactly. Sorry pal, only one of us can win. But Merry Christmas, I got you a time machine too." I throw a giftbox and disappear in a flash. Let's hope the poor slob is a fan of Calvin and Hobbes.
I'm looking forward to what you guys (and girls) come up with from here. I'm hoping for at least 1,000 words. Side note: The average person blinks about 28 thousand times a day.	[WP] A teenage boy teleports to a random location every 35,217th blink. He struggles to keep this secret.	This date is a trainwreck. I'm calling it quits. blink blink blink blink blink "What happened?" "Just something in my eye." blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink "Is it the food? Looks like something's wrong with you." "How can it be the food?" blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink "I don't know, I was just trying to figure this out, maybe you have an allergy or something." Yeah, allergic to you. "I know, I'm just trying to get it out." blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink "Dude are you okay? You're blinking like a 12 year old Harry Styles fangirl." Just make it seem natural. Those aren't tears caused by disappointment, they're tears caused by a pepper. "Yeah you're right, sorry, it's the food." blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink "You look like you're giving yourself a black eye. Have you tried splashing water on your eyes?" "I'll give it a try." Just half a teaspoon, sprinkle it like how you washed your face before coming here. "Nope, not working." blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink "Think I should call the waiter and ask for help?" "How would that help?!" "Should I?" blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink Here's my chance. blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink "Waiter?" blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink faster. blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink "I'm sorry, I think I'm at the wrong table." blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink "What?! What are you talking about? Waiter, it looks like he has some allergic reaction." "Excuse me, I think you might've gotten me confused with someone else. I think I'm actually at that table over there." blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink Good fucking lordy, my eyes are tiring. "You booked this in our name!" "I'm not sure what you mean." blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink I must withstand the strain, for I cannot withstand the cringe. "I knew I should've said yes to Jason instead." "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Wait, it's a trap. blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink "Yes, I mean who's Jason?" blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blibk -wait, that doesn't count, blink there we go "You're right, I don't know you. Waiter, is there another table open?" blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink That's 35,216. She's looking at the waiter, she's not even paying attention to me. Never thought I'd love that so much. Wherever I'm going, it's not Fat Bob's Delicatessen. blink <poof>	Everyone has a secret smell. Perhaps it was the scent of the car that you snuck out in, one night - perhaps it was the smell of cheap booze and a humid summer night...but everyone knows how their biggest secret smells. And in time the smell becomes a fixed, unchanging memory, nothing more...something that fades in the background and is only noticed when it slips away. Here's the thing though - mine changes all the time. I learned I could teleport for the first time when I was fifteen years old. We had gone to the zoo for that weekend, as my birthday was in two days' time and my Dad felt like he should do something for me. My Dad had asked me if I had wanted to come with him and him alone, and promptly taken me along, hand in hand, when I had said no. Such are the mysteries of father-son questions. Anyway, we went, and I saw the koalas and the birds. I am sure it was all terribly interesting. It got even more interesting when I found myself staring at an animal - a wombat - that I had not seen before. I looked around. My nose prickled. The first time, it had smelt like slightly old vanilla cream. Nothing too major. Then I realised what it was that was wrong. "Daddy?" I asked. "Daddy, where are you?" Luckily for me, on that occasion, there was a zookeeper nearby, and within minutes I bade my wombat friend Harry goodbye and my daddy hello. His face looked like it had withered and died. He rushed across to hug me. "Please don't do it again, son," he said. "I won't," I replied. With the zookeepers watching on, he looked into my eyes, the same way he did when I was five years old and my mother had walked out for the last time. "Promise?" "Promise." I didn't know then that I had promised the impossible, but then again, neither did he. --- The disappearing act continued about two days later, when I was back in school. I remember it was sixth period, and I remember I was listening to the math teacher drone on about finding x or whatever it is math teachers do. Damned if I can remember who sat beside me, though. I do remember I promised them we'd always be friends, though. Ha! Anyway, this time I smelt the scent of a newly opened book. Two seconds later, I was outside the classroom, listening to my math teacher drone on in entirely the wrong direction. Quietly, I tried to slip back inside, but my footfalls were interrupted by a sudden change in the tone. "And where do you think you're going, young man?" I improvised. "Back to my seat, sir." He eyed me with that stern look only experienced teachers can muster. As he stared at me, interrogating my eyes, I started feeling very hot under the collar. I thought of moving- "Go," he said. "Don't let me catch you sneaking out again." I couldn't tell him that it was not my fault, that I had no idea what I did wrong, but I took his reprieve quickly and sprinted back, my heart still pounding. --- I wouldn't get caught the next time. It seemed to me, even then, that this might be a recurring thing of sorts - like a persistant hiccup or the usual ping of your mom texting you to ask where you were. It seemed to repeat every five-fourths of a day. I told you I was no good at math. Anyway, the next time was just after school left, and I had walked towards the field, where there would not be so many people there to disappear. And this time it smelled like jet fuel. I don't know how I knew what that smelled like. Don't ask me to explain things - I just tell people how it all went down and let them figure out what I mean. So: when I looked around again, I saw that there was a fence of sorts behind me. KEEP OUT, it said. PROTECTED TERRITORY. And then I looked ahead, and my jaw dropped. This was nowhere near close to where I had left off. This was at an airport. Worse still, the entire place was eerily quietWhere the hell did I- I thought about getting the hell out of there. To this day there is still a part of me that believes had I run then, it would all have stopped. I would have gone back to being an ordinary fifteen year old boy in an ordinary town living with a single father. But I couldn't. Something was whispering in my head. It was the same urge that made people wonder, what it would be like, to jump off that ledge - that split second before adrenaline kicks in- I kept walking. There were jets littered around the tarmac. Delta, American, Qantas. Big jets and small jets. Everything from the A380 to a tiny Cessna parked way way off. I walked up to the nearest jet. The closer I got, the more uncomfortable I began to feel. They don't let you this close to them at airports. Finally, I touched the landing gear, under the nose of the jet. And understanding flashed through. I saw it all - the entire history of the airplane. I saw where it was born, I saw the first time it took to the skies, the famous people that had been on board, in disguise or in plain view - I saw it all. And I felt connected. "Interesting, is it not?" The voice had come from inside me. It was unspoken, but somehow the airport seemed to change and shimmer, as if the words had been very real. "Interesting," I said out loud. "You have been given a strange gift," it said. "There is none in the world like it." "Well, yeah," I said. "I'm not surprised - but why?" "Because we need you," the voice said again. "This is an important -" "Not this Chosen one bullshit again," I said. "Just tell me-" "You are not the chosen one," the voice said, a small laugh in the air. "If you fail, if you refuse...there have been more, and there will be more. What I meant is that it is important to you." "Okay," I breathed. The jet had not moved. My hand was still on the tyre and my feet were still beside the chocks. "Okay...so I suppose all this will become true in due time?" "Yes," it said. "But in the meantime you have to figure out your next task." "And that is?" "How to get home quickly." I looked around, then at my watch, and realisation quickly dawned on me. "Better learn to ride quickly," the voice said. And simultaneously it nudged me behind, where there sat a brand new motorcycle. But suddenly I knew what to do. "I'll learn," I laughed, hopping onto the bike. In a split second the entire workings of the bike became known to me. "Right, I gotta go - Dad's gonna be mad!" "Happy birthday," the voice said. "Remember to enjoy it - you might not be able to in the future." --- Edit: Whoa, alright then. Part 2 can be found [here!] (https://www.reddit.com/r/KCcracker/comments/5ka769/wp_a_teenage_boy_teleports_to_a_random_location/)
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"Captain America, we have found the secret lair of the villain, The Red Skull! Our spy satellite confirms that he is there." "Why not just nuke it?" "What?" "Nuke the damned thing. It's on an island in the middle of the Pacific. A low-yield bomb should do the trick." "...You don't want to sneak in and defeat him?" "No. Hang on while I dial someone at NORAD (Dials his cell phone)...Gimme General Louis; tell him it's Captain America...Louis? It's me. Can you launch a missile at these coordinates? Yes? Thanks! (Hangs up) There! A nuke is launched, and on its way. It should reach the island in about a minute." "...But....But...The Red Skull. You could fly in, fight off his henchmen, defeat him, and--" "And waste thousands of dollars in taxpayer money to take down one villain, who would most likely escape prison, again. Nope! Much easier to nuke his island fortress." "What about the fallout? And--" "Hang on while I answer the phone-- (Picks it up) Yep! Just got the news. The island is atomized, and the Red Skull is dead. See you guys next mission!"	I was ambushed. A trap as old as roads. A tree in my path and I had gotten off of my horse to move it from the path. As I struggled with the log a branch had come down across my skull and my horse, cart and I were all easy pickings for the bandits. Unlike most cases of this type though I was lucky enough to find myself waking up without a slit throat. I woke up to an old man standing over me. I was on some soft ground and next to a fire. I breathed a sign of relief, knowing that whatever had happened, I was now safe. The old man smiled a great big smile and sat down on a log next to me. "Hello Theodore Rockford, my name is Hubertus Nindol." He pulled out a pipe and lit it with a small flame he produced with an extended finger. I stared openly at the finger, spouting flame like a tiny dragon out of stories. "W-who. What." I stammered "As I said. I am Hubertus Nindol. What happened was that I saved your life from those bandits back there. Or was your question what am I? Well I am a wizard as you could see from my little flame. Or maybe what do I want with you? Well that's a very good question. Oh yes it is." My head was still dizzy from the blow and he spoke so rapidly I was having trouble following. He had said wizard? His name was huberous or something? But he was still talking and I had no time to process it all. " What I want from Theodore is to save this land. You see I have it from some very good sources that you are in fact the bastard son of the king and he must go. You see many decades ago magic flowed through this land as easilly as water but the current king has rooted his power in and redirects it all to himself, and that has slowly killed the land and it's people. I beleive that since you are his blood, and since you alone hold that distinction, you alone have that potential to stop the king and bring back the prosperity and magic of this land. You see I can teach you a magic that will allow you to do so along with show you where to gain a great and legendary blade that can allow YOU to become king." He looked at me expectantly with a glint in his eyes. I stood up. I felt a slight dizziness still from the branch but I could stand. I looked at him and, knowing that what he said was possible, after all I WAS adopted and I WAS the only person in my village that didn't seem sick lately, I looked him in the eyes. We stared both of us unspeaking, creating a silence that was only filled by the crackling of the fire. " I may be what you say but I am uninterested. I am leaving this country. I was just leaving actually when I was ambushed. I don't know if what you say is true but I am not interested in saving this land. No one I love lived through the last plague and so I have nothing here worth my time. I'm going a neighboring kingdom to set up a life." The wizard looked ashen, seeing the cold disinterest in my eyes, in my soal. " You. You really don't care... do you..." It was more of a statement than a question. "No." I said coolly I saw a bit of confusion, a bit of surprise, but most of all sadness over his face. " I thought... I thought you'd want to realize your destiny. You could have power, save the kingdom and thousands of lives. Bring back the magic that we have had stolen from us. You could do it. I know it's just a matter of you deciding to. Please Theodore." "How do you know my name Mr...Mr.Nindol?" I had nearly not noticed that he had introduced himself and my self before I had even said a word. " I know many things and have done much research and searching. I thought for sure that if I could find you, that you could save us! But, I can see it in you eyes. There is no convincing you..." He stood and began to walk away down a path. I turned and walked back to my horse and cart.
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	Batman realized his golden age was coming to an end. The aimless struggle between good and evil and the asylum was futile. Why was he so naive? He was a highly educated, highly intelligent, multi billionaire that didn't kill violent criminals in the most corrupt metropolitan city in the world. He simply let them break out and put them back in. Made for a lot of great comics, but accounted for a lot of causalities. But Now, the world had changed for Bruce. Trump was president. What would the Donald have done in his shoes? He probably killed them all instead of building 4 walls to house the insane. and is that so wrong? The Batman had failed at making Gotham great again. Change is in order. Its a new day. Its a new dawn. Its a new Bruce Wayne. Time to make Gotham great again. But then he remembered that he was really Ben Affleck and that he should shut the fuck up and do as he's told and make shit movies about Martha.	I was ambushed. A trap as old as roads. A tree in my path and I had gotten off of my horse to move it from the path. As I struggled with the log a branch had come down across my skull and my horse, cart and I were all easy pickings for the bandits. Unlike most cases of this type though I was lucky enough to find myself waking up without a slit throat. I woke up to an old man standing over me. I was on some soft ground and next to a fire. I breathed a sign of relief, knowing that whatever had happened, I was now safe. The old man smiled a great big smile and sat down on a log next to me. "Hello Theodore Rockford, my name is Hubertus Nindol." He pulled out a pipe and lit it with a small flame he produced with an extended finger. I stared openly at the finger, spouting flame like a tiny dragon out of stories. "W-who. What." I stammered "As I said. I am Hubertus Nindol. What happened was that I saved your life from those bandits back there. Or was your question what am I? Well I am a wizard as you could see from my little flame. Or maybe what do I want with you? Well that's a very good question. Oh yes it is." My head was still dizzy from the blow and he spoke so rapidly I was having trouble following. He had said wizard? His name was huberous or something? But he was still talking and I had no time to process it all. " What I want from Theodore is to save this land. You see I have it from some very good sources that you are in fact the bastard son of the king and he must go. You see many decades ago magic flowed through this land as easilly as water but the current king has rooted his power in and redirects it all to himself, and that has slowly killed the land and it's people. I beleive that since you are his blood, and since you alone hold that distinction, you alone have that potential to stop the king and bring back the prosperity and magic of this land. You see I can teach you a magic that will allow you to do so along with show you where to gain a great and legendary blade that can allow YOU to become king." He looked at me expectantly with a glint in his eyes. I stood up. I felt a slight dizziness still from the branch but I could stand. I looked at him and, knowing that what he said was possible, after all I WAS adopted and I WAS the only person in my village that didn't seem sick lately, I looked him in the eyes. We stared both of us unspeaking, creating a silence that was only filled by the crackling of the fire. " I may be what you say but I am uninterested. I am leaving this country. I was just leaving actually when I was ambushed. I don't know if what you say is true but I am not interested in saving this land. No one I love lived through the last plague and so I have nothing here worth my time. I'm going a neighboring kingdom to set up a life." The wizard looked ashen, seeing the cold disinterest in my eyes, in my soal. " You. You really don't care... do you..." It was more of a statement than a question. "No." I said coolly I saw a bit of confusion, a bit of surprise, but most of all sadness over his face. " I thought... I thought you'd want to realize your destiny. You could have power, save the kingdom and thousands of lives. Bring back the magic that we have had stolen from us. You could do it. I know it's just a matter of you deciding to. Please Theodore." "How do you know my name Mr...Mr.Nindol?" I had nearly not noticed that he had introduced himself and my self before I had even said a word. " I know many things and have done much research and searching. I thought for sure that if I could find you, that you could save us! But, I can see it in you eyes. There is no convincing you..." He stood and began to walk away down a path. I turned and walked back to my horse and cart.
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"So what are the rules again?" Aladdin asked. "You can't wish for someone to fall in love with you, you can't wish for someone to be dead, and you can't wish for more wishes." Replied the Genie. "And those are the ONLY rules?" Aladdin asked. "Yes." "My first wish is that there were no rules constricting my wishes," said Aladdin, leaning back casually. "My next wish is for unlimited wishes. I also wish Princess Jasmine was in love with me and Jafar was dead."	I was ambushed. A trap as old as roads. A tree in my path and I had gotten off of my horse to move it from the path. As I struggled with the log a branch had come down across my skull and my horse, cart and I were all easy pickings for the bandits. Unlike most cases of this type though I was lucky enough to find myself waking up without a slit throat. I woke up to an old man standing over me. I was on some soft ground and next to a fire. I breathed a sign of relief, knowing that whatever had happened, I was now safe. The old man smiled a great big smile and sat down on a log next to me. "Hello Theodore Rockford, my name is Hubertus Nindol." He pulled out a pipe and lit it with a small flame he produced with an extended finger. I stared openly at the finger, spouting flame like a tiny dragon out of stories. "W-who. What." I stammered "As I said. I am Hubertus Nindol. What happened was that I saved your life from those bandits back there. Or was your question what am I? Well I am a wizard as you could see from my little flame. Or maybe what do I want with you? Well that's a very good question. Oh yes it is." My head was still dizzy from the blow and he spoke so rapidly I was having trouble following. He had said wizard? His name was huberous or something? But he was still talking and I had no time to process it all. " What I want from Theodore is to save this land. You see I have it from some very good sources that you are in fact the bastard son of the king and he must go. You see many decades ago magic flowed through this land as easilly as water but the current king has rooted his power in and redirects it all to himself, and that has slowly killed the land and it's people. I beleive that since you are his blood, and since you alone hold that distinction, you alone have that potential to stop the king and bring back the prosperity and magic of this land. You see I can teach you a magic that will allow you to do so along with show you where to gain a great and legendary blade that can allow YOU to become king." He looked at me expectantly with a glint in his eyes. I stood up. I felt a slight dizziness still from the branch but I could stand. I looked at him and, knowing that what he said was possible, after all I WAS adopted and I WAS the only person in my village that didn't seem sick lately, I looked him in the eyes. We stared both of us unspeaking, creating a silence that was only filled by the crackling of the fire. " I may be what you say but I am uninterested. I am leaving this country. I was just leaving actually when I was ambushed. I don't know if what you say is true but I am not interested in saving this land. No one I love lived through the last plague and so I have nothing here worth my time. I'm going a neighboring kingdom to set up a life." The wizard looked ashen, seeing the cold disinterest in my eyes, in my soal. " You. You really don't care... do you..." It was more of a statement than a question. "No." I said coolly I saw a bit of confusion, a bit of surprise, but most of all sadness over his face. " I thought... I thought you'd want to realize your destiny. You could have power, save the kingdom and thousands of lives. Bring back the magic that we have had stolen from us. You could do it. I know it's just a matter of you deciding to. Please Theodore." "How do you know my name Mr...Mr.Nindol?" I had nearly not noticed that he had introduced himself and my self before I had even said a word. " I know many things and have done much research and searching. I thought for sure that if I could find you, that you could save us! But, I can see it in you eyes. There is no convincing you..." He stood and began to walk away down a path. I turned and walked back to my horse and cart.
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"Where is Will?", Ed asked. "I killed him." "You did what?" "I had to. He was turning into a zombie and he tried to kill me." "But he is our friend", Ed yelled at me, but I couldn't understand his argument. "So you think it would be better if I left him alive, risking the death of millions of people in an apocalyptic scenario?" "Well no, but... uh... never mind, let's just go."	I was ambushed. A trap as old as roads. A tree in my path and I had gotten off of my horse to move it from the path. As I struggled with the log a branch had come down across my skull and my horse, cart and I were all easy pickings for the bandits. Unlike most cases of this type though I was lucky enough to find myself waking up without a slit throat. I woke up to an old man standing over me. I was on some soft ground and next to a fire. I breathed a sign of relief, knowing that whatever had happened, I was now safe. The old man smiled a great big smile and sat down on a log next to me. "Hello Theodore Rockford, my name is Hubertus Nindol." He pulled out a pipe and lit it with a small flame he produced with an extended finger. I stared openly at the finger, spouting flame like a tiny dragon out of stories. "W-who. What." I stammered "As I said. I am Hubertus Nindol. What happened was that I saved your life from those bandits back there. Or was your question what am I? Well I am a wizard as you could see from my little flame. Or maybe what do I want with you? Well that's a very good question. Oh yes it is." My head was still dizzy from the blow and he spoke so rapidly I was having trouble following. He had said wizard? His name was huberous or something? But he was still talking and I had no time to process it all. " What I want from Theodore is to save this land. You see I have it from some very good sources that you are in fact the bastard son of the king and he must go. You see many decades ago magic flowed through this land as easilly as water but the current king has rooted his power in and redirects it all to himself, and that has slowly killed the land and it's people. I beleive that since you are his blood, and since you alone hold that distinction, you alone have that potential to stop the king and bring back the prosperity and magic of this land. You see I can teach you a magic that will allow you to do so along with show you where to gain a great and legendary blade that can allow YOU to become king." He looked at me expectantly with a glint in his eyes. I stood up. I felt a slight dizziness still from the branch but I could stand. I looked at him and, knowing that what he said was possible, after all I WAS adopted and I WAS the only person in my village that didn't seem sick lately, I looked him in the eyes. We stared both of us unspeaking, creating a silence that was only filled by the crackling of the fire. " I may be what you say but I am uninterested. I am leaving this country. I was just leaving actually when I was ambushed. I don't know if what you say is true but I am not interested in saving this land. No one I love lived through the last plague and so I have nothing here worth my time. I'm going a neighboring kingdom to set up a life." The wizard looked ashen, seeing the cold disinterest in my eyes, in my soal. " You. You really don't care... do you..." It was more of a statement than a question. "No." I said coolly I saw a bit of confusion, a bit of surprise, but most of all sadness over his face. " I thought... I thought you'd want to realize your destiny. You could have power, save the kingdom and thousands of lives. Bring back the magic that we have had stolen from us. You could do it. I know it's just a matter of you deciding to. Please Theodore." "How do you know my name Mr...Mr.Nindol?" I had nearly not noticed that he had introduced himself and my self before I had even said a word. " I know many things and have done much research and searching. I thought for sure that if I could find you, that you could save us! But, I can see it in you eyes. There is no convincing you..." He stood and began to walk away down a path. I turned and walked back to my horse and cart.
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"Captain America, we have found the secret lair of the villain, The Red Skull! Our spy satellite confirms that he is there." "Why not just nuke it?" "What?" "Nuke the damned thing. It's on an island in the middle of the Pacific. A low-yield bomb should do the trick." "...You don't want to sneak in and defeat him?" "No. Hang on while I dial someone at NORAD (Dials his cell phone)...Gimme General Louis; tell him it's Captain America...Louis? It's me. Can you launch a missile at these coordinates? Yes? Thanks! (Hangs up) There! A nuke is launched, and on its way. It should reach the island in about a minute." "...But....But...The Red Skull. You could fly in, fight off his henchmen, defeat him, and--" "And waste thousands of dollars in taxpayer money to take down one villain, who would most likely escape prison, again. Nope! Much easier to nuke his island fortress." "What about the fallout? And--" "Hang on while I answer the phone-- (Picks it up) Yep! Just got the news. The island is atomized, and the Red Skull is dead. See you guys next mission!"	I am Jane Bond (James is my brother), and I have the corpse of the super villain Blofeld lying dead at my feet. It was pretty easy to do, too: "Well, Miss Bond, at last you have found me." Ernst Stavro Blofeld sat at his desk behind his chair, stroking his white-furred feline in slow, deliberate strokes. I reached the topmost room in his island volcano lair after surreptitiously dispatching his guards, and knocking his office lackeys unconscious. I made sure that, as of right now, it was just him and me. I leveled my Walther PPK at his torso. "Yes, Blofeld. Your plot to launch nuclear missiles at Russia and the U.S. will not work." He smiled at this. "Why not? All I have to do is signal my henchmen, and they will launch them-- like so," He clicked the intercom on his desk. "Launch the missiles." There was silence on the other end. Blofeld's smile started to falter. "Launch the missiles, you idiots." His voice started to waver, betraying fear. "It's hard to do that when you're dead," I replied. He dropped his cat and got up from his chair. "Well then, I have one thing to do: I will turn myself in." He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "You will take me with you to England, of course, for a trial--" I squeezed the trigger twice. Points of blood grew at two places on his torso--one for his lung, the other for his heart. Blofeld looked down in surprise as his legs gave out, and he fell to the floor. "No. You will not escape another jail cell, nor will you go to trial," I replied as I walked over to him. "But didn't you know why I wanted to do it? Launch missiles at the U.S. and Russia?" He gasped "Russia" as he began to cough up blood. I crouched down next to him. "No. I'm not interested in the plans of a megalomaniac." I put my pistol next to his left temple. "I just want you to die." I squeezed the trigger again, and his brains blew out the other side of his head. ... It may be anticlimactic, but it definitely gets the job done.
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"So what are the rules again?" Aladdin asked. "You can't wish for someone to fall in love with you, you can't wish for someone to be dead, and you can't wish for more wishes." Replied the Genie. "And those are the ONLY rules?" Aladdin asked. "Yes." "My first wish is that there were no rules constricting my wishes," said Aladdin, leaning back casually. "My next wish is for unlimited wishes. I also wish Princess Jasmine was in love with me and Jafar was dead."	I am Jane Bond (James is my brother), and I have the corpse of the super villain Blofeld lying dead at my feet. It was pretty easy to do, too: "Well, Miss Bond, at last you have found me." Ernst Stavro Blofeld sat at his desk behind his chair, stroking his white-furred feline in slow, deliberate strokes. I reached the topmost room in his island volcano lair after surreptitiously dispatching his guards, and knocking his office lackeys unconscious. I made sure that, as of right now, it was just him and me. I leveled my Walther PPK at his torso. "Yes, Blofeld. Your plot to launch nuclear missiles at Russia and the U.S. will not work." He smiled at this. "Why not? All I have to do is signal my henchmen, and they will launch them-- like so," He clicked the intercom on his desk. "Launch the missiles." There was silence on the other end. Blofeld's smile started to falter. "Launch the missiles, you idiots." His voice started to waver, betraying fear. "It's hard to do that when you're dead," I replied. He dropped his cat and got up from his chair. "Well then, I have one thing to do: I will turn myself in." He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "You will take me with you to England, of course, for a trial--" I squeezed the trigger twice. Points of blood grew at two places on his torso--one for his lung, the other for his heart. Blofeld looked down in surprise as his legs gave out, and he fell to the floor. "No. You will not escape another jail cell, nor will you go to trial," I replied as I walked over to him. "But didn't you know why I wanted to do it? Launch missiles at the U.S. and Russia?" He gasped "Russia" as he began to cough up blood. I crouched down next to him. "No. I'm not interested in the plans of a megalomaniac." I put my pistol next to his left temple. "I just want you to die." I squeezed the trigger again, and his brains blew out the other side of his head. ... It may be anticlimactic, but it definitely gets the job done.
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"Captain America, we have found the secret lair of the villain, The Red Skull! Our spy satellite confirms that he is there." "Why not just nuke it?" "What?" "Nuke the damned thing. It's on an island in the middle of the Pacific. A low-yield bomb should do the trick." "...You don't want to sneak in and defeat him?" "No. Hang on while I dial someone at NORAD (Dials his cell phone)...Gimme General Louis; tell him it's Captain America...Louis? It's me. Can you launch a missile at these coordinates? Yes? Thanks! (Hangs up) There! A nuke is launched, and on its way. It should reach the island in about a minute." "...But....But...The Red Skull. You could fly in, fight off his henchmen, defeat him, and--" "And waste thousands of dollars in taxpayer money to take down one villain, who would most likely escape prison, again. Nope! Much easier to nuke his island fortress." "What about the fallout? And--" "Hang on while I answer the phone-- (Picks it up) Yep! Just got the news. The island is atomized, and the Red Skull is dead. See you guys next mission!"	Lois Lane, star reporter for the Metropolis' Daily Planet, flung back her luscious long raven black hair, passing by the usual disgusting city rabble clamoring toward the commotion. "Out of my way, cockroaches," she yelled to the horde of people in her way who reminded her of filthy insects. The typically bustling doorway to City Burger was jammed full. Lois found herself needing to debase herself by squeezing through the street and sweat smelling of the commoners clogging the path to her story. Once inside, she spotted what all the people were piling up to steal a glance at. In the back booth, there He sat. In this cesspool He gave off a glimmer, like a diamond on a tungsten ring, like a pearl in a gross clam, like her late mother’s earrings when she’d found them in that dead hoarder’s soggy, dilapidated, shitty shack of a home. Superman ate one burger after the next, and chugged from a pitcher of Strawberry shake. Lois knew that he could do this unabashedly because that greek-god statuesque frame of his, all 245 sinewy pounds of it, could never gain weight, or be at negatively effected by their fatty earth food. If he couldn’t be killed by a nuclear explosion, it wasn’t likely curly fries would be any more lethal to the guy. “Superman! Superman!” She said, sounding official, despited her deeeeeeeeeeeep rapport with the superhero. “Do you have time to answer some questions for the Planet?” Superman looked up, but took his time removing a stack of napkins from the dispenser and wiping the condiments off his still chewing mouth. “Ya, Lois, I got time.” “First off, of course, the obvious question, is why, after all this time, you finally decided to……?” Superman ate half a hamburger in one bite, then wiped his mouth with his super-sleeve. “Oh, I’m Clark Kent, the also news-reporter. I don’t even hide the fact, like that creep Batman. This city is pretty weird. Put on a pair of glasses and no one knows who you are anymore. It’s like a local production of a Shakespeare play or something.” Lois registered her mouth was gaping open, but was too shocked to think about closing it. Olsen finally managed to arrive on the scene. He began wiping off his camera’s smudged lens off. Before snapping a shot, he looked over at Lois. “Uh… What’s happening?” —- Lex Luther had already torn the protective lead casing off the kryptonite on his necklace. Sweat was careening down his entire scalp in large globules. He was sprinting to his bookshelf before before he heard Mercy Graves entering his office. “Sir, I-” she began. “I know!” Lex roared, swiping the books on the third row off in maniacal panic to reach the key pad hiding behind it. His fingers banged in the code to open up the secret passageway. —- “Anyways…” Clark continued, beginning to dig into a stack of waffles. The whole diner had been enveloped in complete silence, other the clangs of one fork from one plate to one mouth. “Now that I’ve gone down this path, you won’t need to ever call on me if you have problems with the likes of Bizarro, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Metallo... Those are just the ones the ones I killed today, but I’ll get around to them all. With my superspeed I should finish by… sometime this evening? I think those were the only hard ones. Like, can you imagine Toy Master putting up more of a fight than evil-me? “Oh, and I’m sick of those laws against me not being able to bring evidence that could only be obtained by Superman to be seen as viable in a court of law. I’m going to kill Lex Luther, then bring in the loads of incriminating evidence that's sitting in his duplicitous layer. Trust me, none of you will mind that I killed that dude. Just wait for it. How you took his word above my own irritable word is beyond me.” “B-b-but,” Olsen stammered, his camera utterly forsaken. “Why are you telling us all this?” Clark looked a little perplexed. “I’m an immortal, unkillable, omnipotent being with no enemies left to threaten my vulnerable girlfriend. Why would I keep a single secret?” —- Lex wiped the sweat from his face as his personalized lead coated ball shot down the lead coated pneumatic tube under Metropolis. He’d been making sure every tube, wire, and tunnel under the city was lead based for years, mostly so he’d have this one safe passage out that wouldn’t be the obvious outlier to anyone who could see through to the earth’s core. Quarter of an hour later Lex crawled out into his luxury underground apartment, and rushed for the power switch. Once flipped, lights began flickering on, as well as kryptonite infused mesh on the outside. He walked over to a leather chair, and collapsed. This was his life now. Living hidden under the earth, all alone, until the continuous exposure of kryptonite gave him cancer and he died.
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"So what are the rules again?" Aladdin asked. "You can't wish for someone to fall in love with you, you can't wish for someone to be dead, and you can't wish for more wishes." Replied the Genie. "And those are the ONLY rules?" Aladdin asked. "Yes." "My first wish is that there were no rules constricting my wishes," said Aladdin, leaning back casually. "My next wish is for unlimited wishes. I also wish Princess Jasmine was in love with me and Jafar was dead."	Lois Lane, star reporter for the Metropolis' Daily Planet, flung back her luscious long raven black hair, passing by the usual disgusting city rabble clamoring toward the commotion. "Out of my way, cockroaches," she yelled to the horde of people in her way who reminded her of filthy insects. The typically bustling doorway to City Burger was jammed full. Lois found herself needing to debase herself by squeezing through the street and sweat smelling of the commoners clogging the path to her story. Once inside, she spotted what all the people were piling up to steal a glance at. In the back booth, there He sat. In this cesspool He gave off a glimmer, like a diamond on a tungsten ring, like a pearl in a gross clam, like her late mother’s earrings when she’d found them in that dead hoarder’s soggy, dilapidated, shitty shack of a home. Superman ate one burger after the next, and chugged from a pitcher of Strawberry shake. Lois knew that he could do this unabashedly because that greek-god statuesque frame of his, all 245 sinewy pounds of it, could never gain weight, or be at negatively effected by their fatty earth food. If he couldn’t be killed by a nuclear explosion, it wasn’t likely curly fries would be any more lethal to the guy. “Superman! Superman!” She said, sounding official, despited her deeeeeeeeeeeep rapport with the superhero. “Do you have time to answer some questions for the Planet?” Superman looked up, but took his time removing a stack of napkins from the dispenser and wiping the condiments off his still chewing mouth. “Ya, Lois, I got time.” “First off, of course, the obvious question, is why, after all this time, you finally decided to……?” Superman ate half a hamburger in one bite, then wiped his mouth with his super-sleeve. “Oh, I’m Clark Kent, the also news-reporter. I don’t even hide the fact, like that creep Batman. This city is pretty weird. Put on a pair of glasses and no one knows who you are anymore. It’s like a local production of a Shakespeare play or something.” Lois registered her mouth was gaping open, but was too shocked to think about closing it. Olsen finally managed to arrive on the scene. He began wiping off his camera’s smudged lens off. Before snapping a shot, he looked over at Lois. “Uh… What’s happening?” —- Lex Luther had already torn the protective lead casing off the kryptonite on his necklace. Sweat was careening down his entire scalp in large globules. He was sprinting to his bookshelf before before he heard Mercy Graves entering his office. “Sir, I-” she began. “I know!” Lex roared, swiping the books on the third row off in maniacal panic to reach the key pad hiding behind it. His fingers banged in the code to open up the secret passageway. —- “Anyways…” Clark continued, beginning to dig into a stack of waffles. The whole diner had been enveloped in complete silence, other the clangs of one fork from one plate to one mouth. “Now that I’ve gone down this path, you won’t need to ever call on me if you have problems with the likes of Bizarro, Mr. Mxyzptlk, Metallo... Those are just the ones the ones I killed today, but I’ll get around to them all. With my superspeed I should finish by… sometime this evening? I think those were the only hard ones. Like, can you imagine Toy Master putting up more of a fight than evil-me? “Oh, and I’m sick of those laws against me not being able to bring evidence that could only be obtained by Superman to be seen as viable in a court of law. I’m going to kill Lex Luther, then bring in the loads of incriminating evidence that's sitting in his duplicitous layer. Trust me, none of you will mind that I killed that dude. Just wait for it. How you took his word above my own irritable word is beyond me.” “B-b-but,” Olsen stammered, his camera utterly forsaken. “Why are you telling us all this?” Clark looked a little perplexed. “I’m an immortal, unkillable, omnipotent being with no enemies left to threaten my vulnerable girlfriend. Why would I keep a single secret?” —- Lex wiped the sweat from his face as his personalized lead coated ball shot down the lead coated pneumatic tube under Metropolis. He’d been making sure every tube, wire, and tunnel under the city was lead based for years, mostly so he’d have this one safe passage out that wouldn’t be the obvious outlier to anyone who could see through to the earth’s core. Quarter of an hour later Lex crawled out into his luxury underground apartment, and rushed for the power switch. Once flipped, lights began flickering on, as well as kryptonite infused mesh on the outside. He walked over to a leather chair, and collapsed. This was his life now. Living hidden under the earth, all alone, until the continuous exposure of kryptonite gave him cancer and he died.
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"So what are the rules again?" Aladdin asked. "You can't wish for someone to fall in love with you, you can't wish for someone to be dead, and you can't wish for more wishes." Replied the Genie. "And those are the ONLY rules?" Aladdin asked. "Yes." "My first wish is that there were no rules constricting my wishes," said Aladdin, leaning back casually. "My next wish is for unlimited wishes. I also wish Princess Jasmine was in love with me and Jafar was dead."	"Captain America, we have found the secret lair of the villain, The Red Skull! Our spy satellite confirms that he is there." "Why not just nuke it?" "What?" "Nuke the damned thing. It's on an island in the middle of the Pacific. A low-yield bomb should do the trick." "...You don't want to sneak in and defeat him?" "No. Hang on while I dial someone at NORAD (Dials his cell phone)...Gimme General Louis; tell him it's Captain America...Louis? It's me. Can you launch a missile at these coordinates? Yes? Thanks! (Hangs up) There! A nuke is launched, and on its way. It should reach the island in about a minute." "...But....But...The Red Skull. You could fly in, fight off his henchmen, defeat him, and--" "And waste thousands of dollars in taxpayer money to take down one villain, who would most likely escape prison, again. Nope! Much easier to nuke his island fortress." "What about the fallout? And--" "Hang on while I answer the phone-- (Picks it up) Yep! Just got the news. The island is atomized, and the Red Skull is dead. See you guys next mission!"
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"So what are the rules again?" Aladdin asked. "You can't wish for someone to fall in love with you, you can't wish for someone to be dead, and you can't wish for more wishes." Replied the Genie. "And those are the ONLY rules?" Aladdin asked. "Yes." "My first wish is that there were no rules constricting my wishes," said Aladdin, leaning back casually. "My next wish is for unlimited wishes. I also wish Princess Jasmine was in love with me and Jafar was dead."	Batman realized his golden age was coming to an end. The aimless struggle between good and evil and the asylum was futile. Why was he so naive? He was a highly educated, highly intelligent, multi billionaire that didn't kill violent criminals in the most corrupt metropolitan city in the world. He simply let them break out and put them back in. Made for a lot of great comics, but accounted for a lot of causalities. But Now, the world had changed for Bruce. Trump was president. What would the Donald have done in his shoes? He probably killed them all instead of building 4 walls to house the insane. and is that so wrong? The Batman had failed at making Gotham great again. Change is in order. Its a new day. Its a new dawn. Its a new Bruce Wayne. Time to make Gotham great again. But then he remembered that he was really Ben Affleck and that he should shut the fuck up and do as he's told and make shit movies about Martha.
	[WP] The protagonist decides to take the simpler and more rational solution to the plot, baffling everyone	"Where is Will?", Ed asked. "I killed him." "You did what?" "I had to. He was turning into a zombie and he tried to kill me." "But he is our friend", Ed yelled at me, but I couldn't understand his argument. "So you think it would be better if I left him alive, risking the death of millions of people in an apocalyptic scenario?" "Well no, but... uh... never mind, let's just go."	The old man slowly plodded along the old dirt road, stopping every few feet, poking a little hole with his walking stick and dropping a small seed in the hole out of his pocket, then pushing the soil down on it with his foot and moving along. Distressingly often, a vehicle roared past in a wash of dust and noise, most of them white pickups with logos on the sides. The men in the pickups were doing important work, gathering the energy needed to grow the crops they ate from thousands of miles away. The old man was largely ignored, considered a simpleton. No useful plants grew in this desert. The only thing this land that was worth anything was the oil that fed the tractors and trucks, and water pumps that made the food keep flowing. The occasional surviving bit of green along the edge of the road here and there could not feed even one man, much less the multitude that humanity had become. Over the years, the pickups became fewer and fewer, the old man passed from this world, and what little production came from the field became more and more automated, and the production less and less. Along the sides of the old roads, though, the little green patches slowly grew. The patch was pumped out. The oil no longer flowed, and the nearby town was nearly abandoned. Transportation was too expensive to bring in the food so vital to any civilized settlement. Occasionally, along the old roads, and in the large south facing cliffhollows, were found the fresh footprints of humans. The valleys and hillsides were lush with wild flora and fauna unlike any found elsewhere, the summers heat never reached the ground through the thick canopy, so the soil stayed cool, and pulled moisture from the warm air.
	[WP] "Bir Tawil" the only spot on the Earth left unclaimed by any country. After the long journey to claim it for yourself, you discover the real reason no country has dared to claim it.	“So, what brings you here?” she asked, eyes on the road. We were in a old toyota, but it was the only ride I could find to Bir Tawil. The locals seemed wary of visitors like me, but I suppose that’s to be expected. “Haven’t you already guessed? I’m going to claim Bir Tawil as my own.” I replied, looking out the window. I didn’t expect her to understand right away, so I began to explain when she furrowed her eyebrows and gave me a skeptical(but cute) look. “Well, I literally won the lottery about an year ago. Pretty surprising, yeah. I didn’t start living lavishly or anything, but just quit my job and stayed home. I spent my days indolantly, playing video games and watching anime. My friend, who had nurtured a distaste for my ‘way of life’, told me I should travel the world just because I had the money to. I wasn’t very interested at first, but then he told me about Bir Tawil and I got pretty curious. After googling a few things out, I figured out that I could claim this land and have it recognised as an independant state by the UN after going through a few procedures and reaching a set minimum population here. It probably sounds weird, but to be honest I have nothing better to do anyway.” The car stopped after a few moments then, and she told me we had reached. It was pretty. All I could see were green fields filled with the occasional bunch of flowers and butterflies. It was very pretty. After spending quite a while walking around with Vanessa and asking her questions about Bir Tawil, I was utterly perplexed to why this place wasn’t a part of Ireland. It is right next to the border, and i doubt it would matter much to anybody if it was. After scratching my head for a while, I just gave up and sat there. It seems too good to be true, but maybe I’m just lucky. “I want to build a house andlive here. No, a small village for all my friends and family” I thought out loud. It was so……. Green. Refreshing, breath-taking, absolutely beautiful. “Is that so?” she asked, with a smirk on her face. There was something she wasn’t telling me, but I doubt it could be very important. We sat together for a while and chit chatted about our lives. The village she lives in is actually more of a city, with that insanely fast google fibra thing some places have nowadays. I was very jealous, but I don’t think I let it show. I heard a ping from my phone, and I looked at it to notice that I had pretty decent data signal strength.God bless Airtel. I walked around with it for a while, but I couldn’t find anything. Truely peculiar. After asking her about it, she just replied with an all knowing shrug and a sadistic grin. I called it a day and returned to my lodge. My nagging curiosity was picking away at me, so I stayed awake googling things. It took me a while, but at least I finally figured it out. Pokemon Go doesn’t work in bloody Bir Tawil.	"I claim this land for..." I try to stick the flagpole into the ground. "I claim this land for.." I try again. Nothing. Solid. I look around, looking to put my flag somewhere. Spotting what looks like a negotiable mountainside, I put the flagpole under my arm and being to climb. Getting a foothold was easy. A handhold? Not so much. But, I can do this. I finally get up about a foot high, and confidently stick the flagpole into the side of the mountain. A groan, and I feel myself, and the mountain, quickly being lifted. I wildly grip the flagpole, trying not to fall to my death. Eyes. Two eyes glaring at me. I now know why this land has yet been claimed. *Note; I'm sorry, this wasn't very good. D:
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	The first thing I do every morning is grabbing my phone and checking Reddit, not to my dataplan's delight. I checked /r/all as usual, commented some goofs and gafs. I opened the Messagebox expecting that weird troll from yesterday to respond. But it was much more than that. The first PM's I read consisted of 'OMG CONGRATS' and that type of stuff. At first I was very, very confused. As checking more PM's, my planet 'RickRoll420' supposedly has life on it. Yeah right. At first I thought it was some kind of prank, but when I opened /r/Planets, I saw a stickied post. A megathread. About my planet. I clicked on it, and threre were tons of people being really hyped about life on my planet. It was real! I felt kind of dizzy and started sweating. This couldn't be real! So I went to the official Planet Deed website. The website consists of a list of all planets to ever be 'deeded'. The list says the name, owner, and likelyhood of life. The last aspect was at 0.00 for all planets. I clicked on my profile and was greeted by a big 100.0 on the life likelyhood. It. Was. Real!! I shut off my phone and dressed up. Ate breakfast, just my usual student life morning. Except that I read everything about my planet. I was on the news. The name 'RickRoll420' was everywhere. Blue balls were rolling around on my planet and building some kind of metal structures. When I finished eating, I didn't know what to do. Should I sell my planet for a couple of billions? Should I rent it to scientists? I decided to walk over to my buddy Ethan, maybe he could help me.	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	When I was 15 I received a gag-gift from my now late grandfather. A deed to a rather large planet which I named Artemis-600. I’d joked to him a while back about how nagging my parents were, and how all I wanted was space from them. When he handed me the deed he laughed, “Now you’ve got a whole planet of space, my girl!” And I laughed and framed it and smiled every time I saw it, but you see, that was the beginning of it all. Fast-forward a year later and you’d see me arm-wrestling my brother on the living room coffee table. Although he was a year younger than me, he was taller and stronger. The news played in the background but my sole focus was on beating my brother. At least until I heard the name of my planet. And then that life was discovered. At first we stared with shock, then we jumped around the house screaming and cavorting. Our neighbors must have loved us, can you sense the sarcasm there? But then the reporters came, and then I got contacted by people offering me millions and millions of dollars (even trillions!) for Artemis-600. Then mom and dad started arguing. It had only been 4 months since life was discovered on my planet, but things were coming to a head and quickly. My father was no longer my support, but my stress. Always pushing me about my planet. Every day it was new. Telling me how to run it, to kill all the life, to save all the life, to sell it, to keep it, to be a malevolent god, to be a benevolent god, to give the deed to him. That one stuck. He begged me and threatened and demanded I sign the deed over to him. My father had had a taste of power and it frightened me. It frightened us all. Things were getting to be too much, then mom left. And that straw broke me. As I was the sole owner of A-600, only I could authorize human voyages to the planet. I could even sell voyages there if I wanted, like a shitty tourist agency. But no. All I wanted was for me and my brother to get away from this madness. I would have taken my mother too, but she was busy in New Texas pretending Artemis-600 and I didn’t exist. I didn't blame her, that planet had ruined her marriage. That next day while my father was at work, we packed. We tried to leave before he came home, but the fates had other plans. When I told him firmly we were going up to Artemis-600, he was like I’d never seen him. Red with rage and screaming foul language-he was a demon in my father’s skin. He was envious and prideful, and couldn’t stand his 16 year old had a planet worth more than his entire life’s earnings 300 times over, bought for 50 dollars. It was then that my father strode towards me, hand raised. It was then my brother jumped in front of me and acting on pure instinct, rushed our father. He fell to the floor and his head made a sickening thud but he rose up as we ran. Somehow we made it into his antique 2013 Ford and my brother gunned it to the Planetary Spaceport. As everyone wanted publicity on the new planet, I was gifted thousands of planetary-exploration supplies, all I had to do was promise to show I was using them and they were mine. They’d already been loaded, along with my crew. All that was left was my brother and I. There was confusion at the dock, when I claimed to own A-600, but once I showed my ID and the deed, the man turned pale, then started begging me to come along. Then he too became violent. My brother pushed him aside and we ran once more. Our hearts were pounding, we felt we’d never leave this godforsaken planet for my own. Finally we boarded and the countdown began. I figure I slipped into a stress-induced sleep as I don’t remember much of our 36 hour light speed journey. But I remember arriving. And I remember putting on my oxygen mask and my suit, and my brother zipping up the back. I remember being the one to open the bay doors and set foot on Artemis-600. When scanners showed the air was clean I was also the first to rip off my mask and dig my toes into the strange pale sand. I’m sorry to say I wasn’t relieved, nor excited. I was sick to my stomach. The events of the past 4 months had just caught me by the hair and punched me in the gut. I fell to my knees, puked and thus, christened my planet. And then the tears came. And there we were, my brother and I. Kneeling in puke and weeping. All because of a 50 dollar joke. It’s been two years since then, and we’ve carved out a nice little human colony for ourselves. The natives support us, as we bring new technology and innovation. We brought methods to clean the water, to cure their sick, to better their lives. But I apparently also started a new, disgusting and horrible tradition. They believe that our so-called (by them) superior species, lays claim to an object by violently vomiting and then weeping over it. Things were messy for a while, until we finally were able to get past the language barrier. We didn’t pass it completely, but they stopped puking on their children and pets at least. They now believe we only puke and weep when we visit a new place. Even though my planet is dusty, arid and sometimes smells of bile-my brother and I are happy and safe on Artemis-600. We’re all too glad to leave Earth behind us, and so I say, goodbye. EDIT: spelling issues	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	Lady picks up newspaper, reads headline: 'LIFE DISCOVERED ON EXOPLANET-491!' She throws it to the ground and walks away. I roll over in bed, five more minutes would be nice. This duvet is so warm and comfortable, I can be five minutes late and the boss won't moan, it's nearly Christmas after all. But when I close my eyes, I do not feel the embrace of silence. I hear shouting outside of my window, I cannot make out what they are saying and it begins to become annoying. The sound grows as I lie under the covers, so much for a little longer in bed before my shift at Brinkely's observatory. Begrudgingly I jump up and drape a long tee over my shoulders. What on earth could be happening at six fifty-five in the morning? I don't care to know though, I need to get ready else I won't beat the rush. The indistinct chatter is drowned out as the shower hisses at me. BANG. BANG. BANG. Three huge knocks reverberate around the house. Is somebody at the door? "Just coming," I say to the mysterious occurrence. I run down the stairs and peep through the looking hole, carefully using one hand to train my eye and the other to hold my fashioned towel-toga. The man, and his army, looked back. Over two hundred and three folks by my quick estimation all stood facing my abode, my little castle. Their leader, the man on my front step, raises one empty hand and a hushed silence beckons over the assorted concierges. After a small delay as the one or two stragglers reach a strangled silence, he raises his other -- in it a paper. I creek open the door onto the chain. "Sir, any comment on this fortuity which has befell you on what will surely be remembered as a seminal day?" He pushes a small pocket microphone through the opening. Sweat beads on my cheeks, my lips feel cracked, my head feels hollow. I'm going to faint, I feel sick, I feel alone, I'm out of my depth. "Sir, any comment?" I fall to the floor.	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	"You have been served" the man said. Stunned, I looked at the paper that I now held. Citizens of Talbott 4 et al vs Mortimer14 RE: Illegal ownership claim by Mortimer14 over the Planet Talbott 4 Followed by the usual legaleeze. Apparently, the citizens are disputing my claim to the planet where they were born and raised. I'll need to hire a lawyer to look at this. The deed in question was a Christmas gift from last year. It stated that I own one planet in the Talbott system. Talbott 4 to be exact. When the deed was issued, nobody knew there was life there. The life in question were roughly humanoid. Reddish skin, not unlike some native American tribes, four arms, two legs and one head. Their eyes were on stalks and could be turned giving them a 360 degree field of vision. They are also apparently highly intelligent, learning about our civil laws as well as our language from the scouts that explored that system. The court date was listed on the paper and I showed up without a lawyer, nobody wanted to touch this case. The representative from Talbott 4 spoke first. He (I think it was a he) was quite eloquent and called into question the validity of any deed granting ownership to an entire planet. It took him all of the first day to make his (her?) case. Recess was called and we are to assemble again in the morning. After court, I have to spend some time in a law library looking up precedent as well as other similar cases. The planet was owned by the corporation by right of discovery. They issued the deed that was sold to my benefactor, thus the planet is owned by me. Everything that I can find in the library agrees with me. In the morning, I make my case, citing many of the precedents that I found. It only takes a couple of hours to finish. Defense rests. The judge retreats to his chamber to make a decision. Hours go by with no word from the bench. The courts close for the day and we all go back to our dwellings. There is a message on my answering machine....Please call 555-1212 in regards to the court case. A return phone call leads to a meeting at a local bar. The Talbott representative offers a ton of gold and an equal amount of uncut gems in several varieties and colors if I will give up my rights to Talbott 4. I get the feeling that they are scared the judge will rule against them. I hold out for twice as much, plus 1/100th part of their global domestic production each year for 10 years. I am now the richest person in this solar system.	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	"You sent them. You endanger us. Traitor." "Please. Please, listen." Begging was alien to my employers but I had been away too long. "They have been finding new life for years, it wasn't me, I know how it seems but she gave..." Communications closed for the final time. I picked up the glass tablet and threw it to the floor, kneeling alone in the shards, sobbing and surprised at my human reaction. It would be just minutes until my extermination. My research was the first of it's kind; a long term and subtle integration into human life. Most were frightened of Earth but, like my sister, I found fascination in the unusual and intricate lives here. I looked down at the pieces of glass and shut my eyes, remembering our last day together. "Happy first birthday! I know, I know...but it technically is and gifts are just such a cute, innately human tradition, aren't they!" She smiled expectantly, as I frowned and fiddled with the tape. She had only arrived for a visit but, with her lifelong love of all things human, had made the transition look easy. A whole year and I was struggling with sticky tape. "Jacob Bacon" I read aloud from the glass tablet, still enjoying the sound of my chosen name. A familiar map was etched into the glass and I ran a thumb around the circle in the centre. "Owner of Planet..." "Home!" she interrupted, laughing her human laugh expertly. "How funny is that! Humans are now selling planets and you, Bacon, own ours." I opened my damp eyes and began to collect the pieces of broken glass around me, standing and arranging them on the table next to the morning's paper. The headline "New life found" wasn't too uncommon for Earth and I hadn't read it yet. But once the Planet Deeds were released, the news became big. "Bacon gives life!" the TV presenters grinned. "Of course intelligent life would live on Bacon, Paula. I myself live on bacon. Thank you, Jacob Bacon!" I watched in horror at the discovery of my kind, my planet, the planet that Earth thought I owned. And then the communication had come. Still standing, I pulled at strips of tape and tried to stick the pieces of glass back together. I ran my thumb across the map, slicing my skin on an edge of glass, my human blood running into the circular groove. My planet.	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	There was a singular present on the table, a holo-document. Being my 30th birthday I expected something more but we were a family of meager means so whatever it was I was sure to like it. My mother and father were staring at me expectantly, I put on my best smile and clicked the button on the side, as it whirled to life I looked at the holo in front of me, it was a deed to a planet. I was disappointed but feigned happiness and thanked my parents for the gift while wondering in my head how I was supposed to get any use out of a planetary deed, it's not like it had life right? I was wrong. The next morning I woke up to a knock on my front door, it was my parents and they looked really excited, "did we win the lottery or something?" I asked them. "Close" my mother replied I gestured them into my apartment so they could tell me this apparently fantastic news. "Turn on the TV!" my mother exclaimed I did so and to my amazement, my planet had life on it! I thought to myself, that this has to be some kind of joke, planetary deeds are a novelty, Their not supposed to have life on them! As I sat there aghast for a short time my mother and father were prancing around my apartment, apparently not realizing the real meaning of the situation. Needing some time to think about what I was going to do about this, I got up and exited my apartment and sat outside on my front stairs, looking up at the stars from our glass domed city. I wouldn't even know what to do with 1000 bitcoins much less an entire planet... I suppose I could try to fly there and check it out but what if they don't like me? What if I can't understand their language? So many questions and no definite answers.... I got up and took a deep breath of the oxygenated air to calm myself and strided back into the room to find that my mother and father were still prancing about. I cleared my throat to get their attention and told them bluntly, "we're going to my new planet!" My mom and dad made some high pitched squeals but stopped for a second after seemingly realizing something, "How are we getting there?" My dad asked "Well, I'm the ruler of an entire planet now, they have to let us go there!" A couple days later we flew out by rocket and visited the planet, it was a very harsh place, dry, cracked and ice in place of water. How any species could be living here I didn't know. Sure enough though, in the distance was a town built out of a type of metal no one on earth had seen before. It was shiny like gold, but at the same time, it had a pattern like that of tree bark and it was a bluish gray color. The inhabitants living there didn't seem too different from humans, save for extended heads, tentacles in place of hair and eyes the color of sulfur. Trying to communicate with them was also quite easy. They happened to be a telepathic species and were fascinated by me and my family, looking us up and down, meticulously examining us like we were display pieces for their living rooms. Everything was going fine, better than fine even, until I revealed that I was the one who now owned their planet, instead of them being fascinated, they were now afraid. They ran into their houses and locked their doors like you would see in an old Western. Me and parents decided to leave at that point, we didn't want to be seen as monsters and I realized I wasn't prepared to be in a position of power. When we returned home, we acted like nothing happened, i still have the holo deed in my home to this day, maybe one day I'll return there but for now, life on earth as an ordinary man suits me just fine.	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	"Hell yeah bro! Did I just get a planet with life?" "Yeah man shit is live, are you gonna enslave them?" "Probably. Apparently I own the planet now. I heard the most advanced life forms there resemble primitive humans. So we are like, way more advanced then them." "I say we take a hunting trip this weekend." "What ship are we taking?" "Let's take yours, i don't wanna drive." "Bruh, what do you mean drive. We have autopilot, lets just smoke some loud while we voyage the cosmos. Enjoy the ride man, the hunt begins soon!" -6 hours pass and our adventurers finally arrive on the mysterious planet, the two men, appear clumsy and stoned.- "Yeet man, I figured we could use the rail guns to hunt them, but honestly I think the m82 would be more fun." "Dang you gonna quickscope some Neanderthals, or what?" "Yeah man, hit that YY ladder stall!" "Alright fuck it let's do this shit." I load the m82, the gun feels heavier than I remember. Must be from using all the newer weapons. Lightweight designs, perfect functionality. It's nice to feel the heaviness of a classic sniper rifle, a pleasant contrast to the newer tech. I missed the feeling. We were both strapped, Robbie choosing to go with a rail gun and a small pistol, myself the sniper and a double barreled shotgun. Something about classic guns must get me off. We step out of the ship, into a familiar setting. Woods. The biome we arrived in was frosted over. Temperature read somewhere around -30 degrees. I'll let you decide what metric. "So what exactly are we hunting?" I glance over and meet Robbie's gaze. Eyes glassy, he's high. "Well I'd say- My sentence is interrupted without even a second to reconcile, Robbie's throat is punctured. He drops to his knees, his hands fumbling at the thick wooden spear, halfway through his throat.	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	Leslexia Five. A small cream coloured world on the edge of a purple tinged swipe of a galaxy. Thirteen light years away, three weeks on a FTL transport, not that anyone had bothered exploring off that way. I'd received the deeds on my birthday, the typical present for a bloke who otherwise had everything. I hadn't even bothered registering it for a month, finally coming across it again on a lazy Sunday afternoon. I knew it was in the Questi system, making a mental note and recognising it again when it popped up on the news a couple years later. Ships had been dispatched to the system, a long range scanning mission looking for minerals on the sixteen planets owned by the consortium over that way. I'd called in a few favours, arranging for a bio-drone to be dropped on my planet as they passed. The standard comm relay satellites spread out through the local parts of the universe by seed ships years before working instantly to connect me to the bio-drone. It was a great hulking thing, ex-russian military with legs like tree trunks and one massive arm bigger than the other. The larger arm, normally mounted with heavy weapons, now held an assortment of tools; a half-ton Swiss Army knife. The smaller arm held a hand, about as dextrous as a humans, though at the same three times as large scale as the rest of the behemoth. Once it had been painted a matte green for camouflage, but the paint had long been sanded off, revealing the scratched brass surface beneath. He turned the large angular head around, the eyes glowing orange as it surveyed the planet before him. "Dinner!" Lisa, my girlfriend, called through my explorations. I eagerly pulled the headset off and set the bio-drone into rest mode. "I made linguine" she smiled "see anything cool?". I tucked in with gusto, relishing the taste of spinach and garlic. "Not much yet" I replied, "lots of sand and a pile of rocks a couple miles to the east". She consulted the aerial photos we had received, noting as I had the strange straight sidedness to some of the rock formations. She seemed even more eager than me for me to get back to exploring. It took the bio-drone three hours to make it to the first of the rocks. It was impressive just by its sheer size, the aerial photos hadn't quite shown it to its fullness. Almost an obelisk in shape, though toppled and wonky. It almost seemed to be carved, but I knew that couldn't be the case, no humans had come out this way. I felt my Lisa's breath across my shoulder, knowing that she was watching the footage through the small screen on the side of my viewer. "Is that?" She started. "Can't be" I cut her off, "must be acid deposits or wear from sandstorms". I passed three more, each similar in shape though larger each time. "Strange coincidence in shapes" I muttered. "In a straight line too" Lisa agreed "those deep dunes on the other side could almost hide another row of them too". The patterns were similar on each one too, though not exactly the same. I passed the last one with barely a look, more intrigued by the immense mountain of a building rising up out of the sand in front of me. I didn't want to admit to myself that it was a building, but even as I thought it, Lisa was confirming it in my ear. The large doorway, the steps, the vaulted ceiling inside. How could it be anything else. I manoeuvred the bio-droid inside and stood aghast at the wall carvings. In and amongst the sweeping curls of the similar patterns to those outside were great dramatic reliefs. Pictures of creatures and buildings, events and celebrations. None even remotely human in origin. The room seemed centred around a raised dais. A large stone throne sat in the middle and upon it lay a sight that took my breath away. I felt Lisa's voice crack beside me. "But, that can't be..." she whimpered in shock, weighing heavy on my shoulder.	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	"Welcome back to Dox news, I'm Don Lime. Our top story tonight: life has been discovered on the outer-system planet Terrabulus. The 'aliens' are like humans in almost every way, save for the blue skin and long limbs. We've also just received word that local office worker John Abraham, age 29, has the binding legal certificate of ownership over the planet. Coming up next, our interview with the residents of Terrabulus." John's girlfriend, Melissa, gasped and turned to him. "John... do you still have that certificate I gave you last year?" "It's in my nightstand." John said, blasé as ever. It's like he didn't even care that he owned an alien planet. Stumbling with the grace of a deaf ballerina, Melissa rushed up the stairs to retrieve the certificate, spilling her mug of black coffee on the white carpet. "Aww, look what you did! Now the carpet needs to be shampooed, Melissa!" John shouted after her, half chuckling. Shaking his head, he went back to his tablet, mumbling something about a "Wobbly table." "Welcome back to Dox news, I'm Wolf Spritzer. Our top story tonight, my interview with an alien resident of Terrabulus. Let's go ahead and show that." On screen, a blue man sat in a leather armchair. His expression remained calm, though if you focused, you could see a faint smile. "So, you live on Terrabulus? What is your occupation?" "Indeed, though we simply refer to it as Terra. I am the current Ehdes, or leader, of the Planetary League." "Ok, good to hear. Now... uh... how does Mr. Abraham's ownership of the planet concern the league? How do you feel about this?" "We find it refreshing. It is hard to put into your common language, as Terran is a more expressive language, but we find this to be a great boon for both of our planets. As such, we have contacted the owner of our planet via the internet." The reporter gasped heavily, along with everyone else on the planet. "We have arranged a mutual deal with Mr. Abraham. A transport ship will land near his home for extraction at 14 hour sharp. As per his wishes, he will not be given a position of power on our planet, only a good home with a connection to your planet's internet database. He has also asked that we leave behind his family, including romantic partners." A crashing noise could be heard from upstairs. "I can't find it!" Melissa shouted. "Take all the time you need." John said, quietly. He smiled and nodded to himself. 1:59 PM* ***** For more of my work, check out /r/Picklestasteg00d. EDIT FOR GRAMMAR	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!
	[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it.	Gina sat beside me, quivering with delight but I felt numb and removed from the world, as if I was in some sort of half coma. Gina's voice is all echoey and distant and it was only when she bit my wrist that I came out of my trance. "Ouch. Gina!" "Get up and dance with me. Come on! Why aren't you excited?! Do you realise what this means at all?" "Um..." I felt dizzy, and it took all my willpower not to bury my head into the sofa. "Oh my goodness. OH MY GOODNESS! I can't believe it! And it's your planet, our planet! Can you imagine?" A chilly wind blew in from the open window, and when I looked through it at the sky, looking for some kind of touch with reality, something to bring me back to earth, it was cloudy, forbidding and not at all reassuring. "It's going to rain," I said quietly, but Gina wasn't listening, she was jumping up and down and fighting the air and moving to the bar to get us drinks. "Drinking isn't even on par with my excitement," she said when she returned with two beer bottles. "Like you have no idea! Oh, look, Aganji sent me a text! And Jane and Terry. Wow, I've got like 30 messages. And... they're all congratulatory! Check your phone I bet you got loads! Why aren't you excited, you're killing my mood here!" She gave me a nudge and I attempted to smile but it felt tense and fake and I hoped she wouldn't notice. This was all too much for me, I felt like the table and the TV (still showing the reporter who broke the news) and the armchair and refrigerator were moving towards me in this slow, taunting way. "I'm going to lie down for a bit, if you don't mind," I said to Gina and her smile faltered but then, creepily, sprang back up almost at once, unable to help itself. ****** Apparently the exoplanet had life. And not even meagre life, not bacteria or some hardcore kind of insect, but real furry little things with 3 eyes and two legs and long slim bodies, quite like mongooses but with a glowy, surreal kind of air because their fur emitted light when they felt "intense emotions", the scientists said. I'm expected to be at a press conference, because I'm now like the president of that planet or something, and Gina will not hear anything about me not attending. "Smile. Please," she said, when I was seconds away from being called on stage and I put on the best smile I could. After a series of questions from excited reporters, which I answered awkwardly and in a cold sweat, they showed us, on a large screen at the front of the room, more footage of the creatures scuttling about on the rough terrain of my planet. It's weird that I felt nothing but revulsion and it must have shown on my face because Gina sent me a text reading "Smile ffs!!!". When the video ended to a thundering round of applause, a reporter asked me if, given the choice, I would like to live with these animals. I answered before I could stop myself or look towards Gina for guidance. "Uh, no. Never." The reporters and photographers exchanged looks. I knew the best thing at this point, the smart thing, was to shut up but I continued anyway spurred on by a rage that, perhaps, was stoked from seeing the infuriatingly bemused expressions of the faces around me. "I mean why would I want to live with weird little rats on a planet far from home? Why are we so intent on finding life on other planets when we haven't even explored most of our oceans? When we haven't learnt everything about life on our planet. I mean this whole title deeds on another planet is so stupid, I frankly only accepted one as a gift on my birthday to please my twin sister Gina so she, so we, could feel somehow important. You know: ruling a world and all that junk. I mean if we continue at this, finding far away planets, we're not going to come across furry cute little creatures but monsters that'll destroy us in a flash. Or worse: enslave us. So, honestly I find this whole thing stupid. Sorry." There was such a deadly quiet in the room after I stopped fuming that I could hear the frantic heartbeat of the man sitting next to me on the stage. And when my phone beeped, signaling another message from Gina, it sounded like an explosion had gone off.	Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, really? Absurd. At least, recently I thought it was absurd. Then that fateful day occurred, with some news on Channel 37 blaring out alarms left and right. "We just received confirmation that Alphi Gara does indeed have life on it!" That day, sadly, was the first day I spat out my bowl of cereal. How I miss that cereal... Anyway, that day I looked at the deed, and it said right there "Owner of Alphi Gara." It was absurd. I owned a planet with life on in. I owned a planet with life on it. I owned a planet with life... on... it... Hahahahahahahaha! I owned a planet with life on it! I'm a world leader! I am a God! Haha! I owned a planet! I was ecstatic that day, almost bursting into tears as I ran to my car, got some gas as sped towards the nearest Space Shuttle Production and Launch Facility. Showing them the deed, they began production en masse and eventually shot me into the depths of space. Now, I'm slowly hurdling towards a planet that they don't even know the likes of with a Military Space crew. Gone from my home, my dog, my girlfriend and family, I sometimes wonder if it was really worth it. I liked the idea of this prompt, but I'm not really all that good at Space type stuff. I feel as if it seems a bit rushed, but IDRK. Please, give me some feedback and check out some of the other things I've written, responses or otherwise, on my brand new reddit /r/DaDurkShadow and comment there too! Thanks for reading!

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