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[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Crusoe remembers the day well, the 34 years that has taken him to get to this point in his journey seem to have had no effect on his memory. He recalls getting Planet 2471, as a birthday present. His sixteenth birthday, while most kids his age were getting their first car, Crusoe got the deed to an exoplanet. He rememb... | Planetary Deeds huh? Didn't think I would ever hear about another stupid gimmick like this. First there were those deeds for Stars, then they came out with deeds for Asteroids and now Exoplanets? Absurd, as if any of those things could really impress anyone. Thousands of dollars down the drain for a simple novelty, rea... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | The first thing I do every morning is grabbing my phone and checking Reddit, not to my dataplan's delight. I checked /r/all as usual, commented some goofs and gafs. I opened the Messagebox expecting that weird troll from yesterday to respond. But it was much more than that. The first PM's I read consisted of 'OMG CONGR... | This doesn't usually happen, with these "Planet Deeds." They don't usually sell them off if they think there's anything of value, anything of interest at all. After being bitten by the whole "own an asteroid" thing back in the 2050s, when it finally became profitable to actually mine some of these things and all those ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | When I was 15 I received a gag-gift from my now late grandfather. A deed to a rather large planet which I named Artemis-600. I’d joked to him a while back about how nagging my parents were, and how all I wanted was space from them. When he handed me the deed he laughed, “Now you’ve got a whole planet of space, my girl!... | This doesn't usually happen, with these "Planet Deeds." They don't usually sell them off if they think there's anything of value, anything of interest at all. After being bitten by the whole "own an asteroid" thing back in the 2050s, when it finally became profitable to actually mine some of these things and all those ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | "You have been served" the man said.
Stunned, I looked at the paper that I now held.
Citizens of Talbott 4 et al
vs
Mortimer14
RE: Illegal ownership claim by Mortimer14 over the Planet Talbott 4
Followed by the usual legaleeze. Apparently, the citizens are disputing my claim to the pla... | This doesn't usually happen, with these "Planet Deeds." They don't usually sell them off if they think there's anything of value, anything of interest at all. After being bitten by the whole "own an asteroid" thing back in the 2050s, when it finally became profitable to actually mine some of these things and all those ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | "You sent them. You endanger us. Traitor."
"Please. Please, listen." Begging was alien to my employers but I had been away too long. "They have been finding new life for years, it wasn't me, I know how it seems but she gave..."
Communications closed for the final time. I picked up the glass tablet and threw it to the... | This doesn't usually happen, with these "Planet Deeds." They don't usually sell them off if they think there's anything of value, anything of interest at all. After being bitten by the whole "own an asteroid" thing back in the 2050s, when it finally became profitable to actually mine some of these things and all those ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | There was a singular present on the table, a holo-document. Being my 30th birthday I expected something more but we were a family of meager means so whatever it was I was sure to like it.
My mother and father were staring at me expectantly, I put on my best smile and clicked the button on the side, as it whirled to lif... | This doesn't usually happen, with these "Planet Deeds." They don't usually sell them off if they think there's anything of value, anything of interest at all. After being bitten by the whole "own an asteroid" thing back in the 2050s, when it finally became profitable to actually mine some of these things and all those ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | "Hell yeah bro! Did I just get a planet with life?"
"Yeah man shit is live, are you gonna enslave them?"
"Probably. Apparently I own the planet now. I heard the most advanced life forms there resemble primitive humans. So we are like, way more advanced then them."
"I say we take a hunting trip this weekend."
"What ... | This doesn't usually happen, with these "Planet Deeds." They don't usually sell them off if they think there's anything of value, anything of interest at all. After being bitten by the whole "own an asteroid" thing back in the 2050s, when it finally became profitable to actually mine some of these things and all those ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Leslexia Five. A small cream coloured world on the edge of a purple tinged swipe of a galaxy. Thirteen light years away, three weeks on a FTL transport, not that anyone had bothered exploring off that way. I'd received the deeds on my birthday, the typical present for a bloke who otherwise had everything. I hadn't even... | This doesn't usually happen, with these "Planet Deeds." They don't usually sell them off if they think there's anything of value, anything of interest at all. After being bitten by the whole "own an asteroid" thing back in the 2050s, when it finally became profitable to actually mine some of these things and all those ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. |
"*Welcome back to Dox news, I'm Don Lime. Our top story tonight: life has been discovered on the outer-system planet Terrabulus. The 'aliens' are like humans in almost every way, save for the blue skin and long limbs. We've also just received word that local office worker John Abraham, age 29, has the binding legal ce... | This doesn't usually happen, with these "Planet Deeds." They don't usually sell them off if they think there's anything of value, anything of interest at all. After being bitten by the whole "own an asteroid" thing back in the 2050s, when it finally became profitable to actually mine some of these things and all those ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Crusoe remembers the day well, the 34 years that has taken him to get to this point in his journey seem to have had no effect on his memory. He recalls getting Planet 2471, as a birthday present. His sixteenth birthday, while most kids his age were getting their first car, Crusoe got the deed to an exoplanet. He rememb... | This doesn't usually happen, with these "Planet Deeds." They don't usually sell them off if they think there's anything of value, anything of interest at all. After being bitten by the whole "own an asteroid" thing back in the 2050s, when it finally became profitable to actually mine some of these things and all those ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | "You have been served" the man said.
Stunned, I looked at the paper that I now held.
Citizens of Talbott 4 et al
vs
Mortimer14
RE: Illegal ownership claim by Mortimer14 over the Planet Talbott 4
Followed by the usual legaleeze. Apparently, the citizens are disputing my claim to the pla... | The first thing I do every morning is grabbing my phone and checking Reddit, not to my dataplan's delight. I checked /r/all as usual, commented some goofs and gafs. I opened the Messagebox expecting that weird troll from yesterday to respond. But it was much more than that. The first PM's I read consisted of 'OMG CONGR... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | "You sent them. You endanger us. Traitor."
"Please. Please, listen." Begging was alien to my employers but I had been away too long. "They have been finding new life for years, it wasn't me, I know how it seems but she gave..."
Communications closed for the final time. I picked up the glass tablet and threw it to the... | The first thing I do every morning is grabbing my phone and checking Reddit, not to my dataplan's delight. I checked /r/all as usual, commented some goofs and gafs. I opened the Messagebox expecting that weird troll from yesterday to respond. But it was much more than that. The first PM's I read consisted of 'OMG CONGR... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Leslexia Five. A small cream coloured world on the edge of a purple tinged swipe of a galaxy. Thirteen light years away, three weeks on a FTL transport, not that anyone had bothered exploring off that way. I'd received the deeds on my birthday, the typical present for a bloke who otherwise had everything. I hadn't even... | The first thing I do every morning is grabbing my phone and checking Reddit, not to my dataplan's delight. I checked /r/all as usual, commented some goofs and gafs. I opened the Messagebox expecting that weird troll from yesterday to respond. But it was much more than that. The first PM's I read consisted of 'OMG CONGR... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. |
"*Welcome back to Dox news, I'm Don Lime. Our top story tonight: life has been discovered on the outer-system planet Terrabulus. The 'aliens' are like humans in almost every way, save for the blue skin and long limbs. We've also just received word that local office worker John Abraham, age 29, has the binding legal ce... | The first thing I do every morning is grabbing my phone and checking Reddit, not to my dataplan's delight. I checked /r/all as usual, commented some goofs and gafs. I opened the Messagebox expecting that weird troll from yesterday to respond. But it was much more than that. The first PM's I read consisted of 'OMG CONGR... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | "You have been served" the man said.
Stunned, I looked at the paper that I now held.
Citizens of Talbott 4 et al
vs
Mortimer14
RE: Illegal ownership claim by Mortimer14 over the Planet Talbott 4
Followed by the usual legaleeze. Apparently, the citizens are disputing my claim to the pla... | Lady picks up newspaper, reads headline: 'LIFE DISCOVERED ON *EXOPLANET-491*!' She throws it to the ground and walks away.
I roll over in bed, five more minutes would be nice. This duvet is so warm and comfortable, I can be five minutes late and the boss won't moan, it's nearly Christmas after all. But when I close m... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | "You sent them. You endanger us. Traitor."
"Please. Please, listen." Begging was alien to my employers but I had been away too long. "They have been finding new life for years, it wasn't me, I know how it seems but she gave..."
Communications closed for the final time. I picked up the glass tablet and threw it to the... | Lady picks up newspaper, reads headline: 'LIFE DISCOVERED ON *EXOPLANET-491*!' She throws it to the ground and walks away.
I roll over in bed, five more minutes would be nice. This duvet is so warm and comfortable, I can be five minutes late and the boss won't moan, it's nearly Christmas after all. But when I close m... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | There was a singular present on the table, a holo-document. Being my 30th birthday I expected something more but we were a family of meager means so whatever it was I was sure to like it.
My mother and father were staring at me expectantly, I put on my best smile and clicked the button on the side, as it whirled to lif... | Lady picks up newspaper, reads headline: 'LIFE DISCOVERED ON *EXOPLANET-491*!' She throws it to the ground and walks away.
I roll over in bed, five more minutes would be nice. This duvet is so warm and comfortable, I can be five minutes late and the boss won't moan, it's nearly Christmas after all. But when I close m... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | "Hell yeah bro! Did I just get a planet with life?"
"Yeah man shit is live, are you gonna enslave them?"
"Probably. Apparently I own the planet now. I heard the most advanced life forms there resemble primitive humans. So we are like, way more advanced then them."
"I say we take a hunting trip this weekend."
"What ... | Lady picks up newspaper, reads headline: 'LIFE DISCOVERED ON *EXOPLANET-491*!' She throws it to the ground and walks away.
I roll over in bed, five more minutes would be nice. This duvet is so warm and comfortable, I can be five minutes late and the boss won't moan, it's nearly Christmas after all. But when I close m... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Leslexia Five. A small cream coloured world on the edge of a purple tinged swipe of a galaxy. Thirteen light years away, three weeks on a FTL transport, not that anyone had bothered exploring off that way. I'd received the deeds on my birthday, the typical present for a bloke who otherwise had everything. I hadn't even... | Lady picks up newspaper, reads headline: 'LIFE DISCOVERED ON *EXOPLANET-491*!' She throws it to the ground and walks away.
I roll over in bed, five more minutes would be nice. This duvet is so warm and comfortable, I can be five minutes late and the boss won't moan, it's nearly Christmas after all. But when I close m... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. |
"*Welcome back to Dox news, I'm Don Lime. Our top story tonight: life has been discovered on the outer-system planet Terrabulus. The 'aliens' are like humans in almost every way, save for the blue skin and long limbs. We've also just received word that local office worker John Abraham, age 29, has the binding legal ce... | Lady picks up newspaper, reads headline: 'LIFE DISCOVERED ON *EXOPLANET-491*!' She throws it to the ground and walks away.
I roll over in bed, five more minutes would be nice. This duvet is so warm and comfortable, I can be five minutes late and the boss won't moan, it's nearly Christmas after all. But when I close m... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Crusoe remembers the day well, the 34 years that has taken him to get to this point in his journey seem to have had no effect on his memory. He recalls getting Planet 2471, as a birthday present. His sixteenth birthday, while most kids his age were getting their first car, Crusoe got the deed to an exoplanet. He rememb... | Lady picks up newspaper, reads headline: 'LIFE DISCOVERED ON *EXOPLANET-491*!' She throws it to the ground and walks away.
I roll over in bed, five more minutes would be nice. This duvet is so warm and comfortable, I can be five minutes late and the boss won't moan, it's nearly Christmas after all. But when I close m... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | "Hell yeah bro! Did I just get a planet with life?"
"Yeah man shit is live, are you gonna enslave them?"
"Probably. Apparently I own the planet now. I heard the most advanced life forms there resemble primitive humans. So we are like, way more advanced then them."
"I say we take a hunting trip this weekend."
"What ... | There was a singular present on the table, a holo-document. Being my 30th birthday I expected something more but we were a family of meager means so whatever it was I was sure to like it.
My mother and father were staring at me expectantly, I put on my best smile and clicked the button on the side, as it whirled to lif... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Leslexia Five. A small cream coloured world on the edge of a purple tinged swipe of a galaxy. Thirteen light years away, three weeks on a FTL transport, not that anyone had bothered exploring off that way. I'd received the deeds on my birthday, the typical present for a bloke who otherwise had everything. I hadn't even... | There was a singular present on the table, a holo-document. Being my 30th birthday I expected something more but we were a family of meager means so whatever it was I was sure to like it.
My mother and father were staring at me expectantly, I put on my best smile and clicked the button on the side, as it whirled to lif... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. |
"*Welcome back to Dox news, I'm Don Lime. Our top story tonight: life has been discovered on the outer-system planet Terrabulus. The 'aliens' are like humans in almost every way, save for the blue skin and long limbs. We've also just received word that local office worker John Abraham, age 29, has the binding legal ce... | There was a singular present on the table, a holo-document. Being my 30th birthday I expected something more but we were a family of meager means so whatever it was I was sure to like it.
My mother and father were staring at me expectantly, I put on my best smile and clicked the button on the side, as it whirled to lif... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Leslexia Five. A small cream coloured world on the edge of a purple tinged swipe of a galaxy. Thirteen light years away, three weeks on a FTL transport, not that anyone had bothered exploring off that way. I'd received the deeds on my birthday, the typical present for a bloke who otherwise had everything. I hadn't even... | "Hell yeah bro! Did I just get a planet with life?"
"Yeah man shit is live, are you gonna enslave them?"
"Probably. Apparently I own the planet now. I heard the most advanced life forms there resemble primitive humans. So we are like, way more advanced then them."
"I say we take a hunting trip this weekend."
"What ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. |
"*Welcome back to Dox news, I'm Don Lime. Our top story tonight: life has been discovered on the outer-system planet Terrabulus. The 'aliens' are like humans in almost every way, save for the blue skin and long limbs. We've also just received word that local office worker John Abraham, age 29, has the binding legal ce... | "Hell yeah bro! Did I just get a planet with life?"
"Yeah man shit is live, are you gonna enslave them?"
"Probably. Apparently I own the planet now. I heard the most advanced life forms there resemble primitive humans. So we are like, way more advanced then them."
"I say we take a hunting trip this weekend."
"What ... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. |
"*Welcome back to Dox news, I'm Don Lime. Our top story tonight: life has been discovered on the outer-system planet Terrabulus. The 'aliens' are like humans in almost every way, save for the blue skin and long limbs. We've also just received word that local office worker John Abraham, age 29, has the binding legal ce... | Leslexia Five. A small cream coloured world on the edge of a purple tinged swipe of a galaxy. Thirteen light years away, three weeks on a FTL transport, not that anyone had bothered exploring off that way. I'd received the deeds on my birthday, the typical present for a bloke who otherwise had everything. I hadn't even... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. |
"*Welcome back to Dox news, I'm Don Lime. Our top story tonight: life has been discovered on the outer-system planet Terrabulus. The 'aliens' are like humans in almost every way, save for the blue skin and long limbs. We've also just received word that local office worker John Abraham, age 29, has the binding legal ce... | "Mom? Is this a joke?"
"What?"
"The deed. You saw the news, didn't you? There's life on Rigellion Five!"
"Wonderful news, Matt, just wonderful."
"What? No, it's not wonderful. Did you have any idea what you were giving me?"
"There are a lot of terms and conditions. I thought it would just be a nice little thing yo... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Gina sat beside me, quivering with delight but I felt numb and removed from the world, as if I was in some sort of half coma. Gina's voice is all echoey and distant and it was only when she bit my wrist that I came out of my trance.
"Ouch. Gina!"
"Get up and dance with me. Come on! Why aren't you excited?! Do you rea... | "Mom? Is this a joke?"
"What?"
"The deed. You saw the news, didn't you? There's life on Rigellion Five!"
"Wonderful news, Matt, just wonderful."
"What? No, it's not wonderful. Did you have any idea what you were giving me?"
"There are a lot of terms and conditions. I thought it would just be a nice little thing yo... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Crusoe remembers the day well, the 34 years that has taken him to get to this point in his journey seem to have had no effect on his memory. He recalls getting Planet 2471, as a birthday present. His sixteenth birthday, while most kids his age were getting their first car, Crusoe got the deed to an exoplanet. He rememb... | "Mom? Is this a joke?"
"What?"
"The deed. You saw the news, didn't you? There's life on Rigellion Five!"
"Wonderful news, Matt, just wonderful."
"What? No, it's not wonderful. Did you have any idea what you were giving me?"
"There are a lot of terms and conditions. I thought it would just be a nice little thing yo... | |
[WP] So many new exoplanets are being discovered that "planet deeds" now make well-known novelty gifts. You recieved such a deed last year on your birthday, legally making you the owner of one such planet - and, only a moment ago, heard on the news that life has just been discovered on it. | Crusoe remembers the day well, the 34 years that has taken him to get to this point in his journey seem to have had no effect on his memory. He recalls getting Planet 2471, as a birthday present. His sixteenth birthday, while most kids his age were getting their first car, Crusoe got the deed to an exoplanet. He rememb... | Gina sat beside me, quivering with delight but I felt numb and removed from the world, as if I was in some sort of half coma. Gina's voice is all echoey and distant and it was only when she bit my wrist that I came out of my trance.
"Ouch. Gina!"
"Get up and dance with me. Come on! Why aren't you excited?! Do you rea... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | “Aha, but I am a Jedi,” said Hegel.
“I know that – I’m a Sith,” responded Nietzsche. “It’s just that I thought you died like 50 year ago.”
“In hibernation, I was.”
“Wait…what? You talk like Master Yoda??”
“Let’s get past that,” sighed Hegel. “I had finally started the world down the path to absolute knowledge based... | "Don't you think it's funny that most humans truly believe that their great philosophers wrote their own shit? Fucking Plato had a ghostwriter from Tatooine and Jean-Paul Sarte is an immigrant from Hoth," said Zruytsiw, who was recently named one of the top Sith scholar in his universe.
"C'mon man, it's like any of t... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | *The following is written by someone who's watched the movies, played a few games, and absolutely refuses to do further research*
"So you're all just straight up *retarded* evil, right?" asked Master Jadie, lying on the ground next to Darth Mourder. An answer was not immediately forthcoming, so Jadie passed the Star W... | "Don't you think it's funny that most humans truly believe that their great philosophers wrote their own shit? Fucking Plato had a ghostwriter from Tatooine and Jean-Paul Sarte is an immigrant from Hoth," said Zruytsiw, who was recently named one of the top Sith scholar in his universe.
"C'mon man, it's like any of t... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | "Well it seems that we're both captured together, in this cell filled with spikes."
“It’s more of a pit then a cell.” Came the murmured reply. “That and we weren’t captured together, you got here first.”
“Well yes, the locals were quite hostile, though to be fair the last time someone came to their planet with a lig... | "Don't you think it's funny that most humans truly believe that their great philosophers wrote their own shit? Fucking Plato had a ghostwriter from Tatooine and Jean-Paul Sarte is an immigrant from Hoth," said Zruytsiw, who was recently named one of the top Sith scholar in his universe.
"C'mon man, it's like any of t... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | SITH: You're hypocrites, liars, and relativists.
JEDI: From a certain point of view. You're going to find that much of wh---
SITH: (Interrupting) From my point of view you're totally full of shit.
JEDI: I knew you'd say that. Only Sith deal in absolutes.
SITH: Well, that's just like your *point of view,* Jedi.
P... | "Don't you think it's funny that most humans truly believe that their great philosophers wrote their own shit? Fucking Plato had a ghostwriter from Tatooine and Jean-Paul Sarte is an immigrant from Hoth," said Zruytsiw, who was recently named one of the top Sith scholar in his universe.
"C'mon man, it's like any of t... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | Red dust swirled around J'in Karthen as the massive stone door before her shook with Force tremors. The slab had fallen in on itself countless centuries ago, but the Holocron beyond called out to her. Countless saber marks and holes potmocked the door, evidence of earlier attempts to cut her way through it.
Though sh... | "Don't you think it's funny that most humans truly believe that their great philosophers wrote their own shit? Fucking Plato had a ghostwriter from Tatooine and Jean-Paul Sarte is an immigrant from Hoth," said Zruytsiw, who was recently named one of the top Sith scholar in his universe.
"C'mon man, it's like any of t... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | *The following is written by someone who's watched the movies, played a few games, and absolutely refuses to do further research*
"So you're all just straight up *retarded* evil, right?" asked Master Jadie, lying on the ground next to Darth Mourder. An answer was not immediately forthcoming, so Jadie passed the Star W... | "Do you know why Jedi fall to the dark side?" She asked, eyeing the lone Knight sent to hunt her down for deserting the Order.
He paused for a moment. He reconsidered drawing his lightsaber immediately, as she didn't seem hostile. "Why?" he asked cautiously.
"Because we realize that it's all just restrictions. The O... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | "Well it seems that we're both captured together, in this cell filled with spikes."
“It’s more of a pit then a cell.” Came the murmured reply. “That and we weren’t captured together, you got here first.”
“Well yes, the locals were quite hostile, though to be fair the last time someone came to their planet with a lig... | "Do you know why Jedi fall to the dark side?" She asked, eyeing the lone Knight sent to hunt her down for deserting the Order.
He paused for a moment. He reconsidered drawing his lightsaber immediately, as she didn't seem hostile. "Why?" he asked cautiously.
"Because we realize that it's all just restrictions. The O... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | SITH: You're hypocrites, liars, and relativists.
JEDI: From a certain point of view. You're going to find that much of wh---
SITH: (Interrupting) From my point of view you're totally full of shit.
JEDI: I knew you'd say that. Only Sith deal in absolutes.
SITH: Well, that's just like your *point of view,* Jedi.
P... | "Do you know why Jedi fall to the dark side?" She asked, eyeing the lone Knight sent to hunt her down for deserting the Order.
He paused for a moment. He reconsidered drawing his lightsaber immediately, as she didn't seem hostile. "Why?" he asked cautiously.
"Because we realize that it's all just restrictions. The O... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | "Well it seems that we're both captured together, in this cell filled with spikes."
“It’s more of a pit then a cell.” Came the murmured reply. “That and we weren’t captured together, you got here first.”
“Well yes, the locals were quite hostile, though to be fair the last time someone came to their planet with a lig... | “Aha, but I am a Jedi,” said Hegel.
“I know that – I’m a Sith,” responded Nietzsche. “It’s just that I thought you died like 50 year ago.”
“In hibernation, I was.”
“Wait…what? You talk like Master Yoda??”
“Let’s get past that,” sighed Hegel. “I had finally started the world down the path to absolute knowledge based... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | SITH: You're hypocrites, liars, and relativists.
JEDI: From a certain point of view. You're going to find that much of wh---
SITH: (Interrupting) From my point of view you're totally full of shit.
JEDI: I knew you'd say that. Only Sith deal in absolutes.
SITH: Well, that's just like your *point of view,* Jedi.
P... | “Aha, but I am a Jedi,” said Hegel.
“I know that – I’m a Sith,” responded Nietzsche. “It’s just that I thought you died like 50 year ago.”
“In hibernation, I was.”
“Wait…what? You talk like Master Yoda??”
“Let’s get past that,” sighed Hegel. “I had finally started the world down the path to absolute knowledge based... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | Red dust swirled around J'in Karthen as the massive stone door before her shook with Force tremors. The slab had fallen in on itself countless centuries ago, but the Holocron beyond called out to her. Countless saber marks and holes potmocked the door, evidence of earlier attempts to cut her way through it.
Though sh... | "You Sith don't make any logical sense."
"What?! Of course, we do!"
"Answer me this then," The Jedi folded her arms. "why is it, when someone turns to the dark side, they turn into a massive dick?" A hologram of Anakin popped up out of nowhere. Don't question it. "Anakin Skywalker. An okay Jedi with serious flirting ... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | Red dust swirled around J'in Karthen as the massive stone door before her shook with Force tremors. The slab had fallen in on itself countless centuries ago, but the Holocron beyond called out to her. Countless saber marks and holes potmocked the door, evidence of earlier attempts to cut her way through it.
Though sh... | Shaye walked among the moist floor of the swamp planet of Dagobah, utterly lost as to what she would find there. Her meditation, while deep and arduous, had rendered only one vision of the place. Immediately she had known it's stellar coordinates, it's name, but what she sought remained a mystery.
Though she had taken... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | Red dust swirled around J'in Karthen as the massive stone door before her shook with Force tremors. The slab had fallen in on itself countless centuries ago, but the Holocron beyond called out to her. Countless saber marks and holes potmocked the door, evidence of earlier attempts to cut her way through it.
Though sh... | A temple on a long lost planet. Rumored to be the key to all of the secrets of the force. Two apprentices of different sides of the force had travelled long and far to discover these secrets. They met in the dark depths of the temple. Torches were lit on the walls and the dim orange light was all they had to guide them... | |
[WP] A Jedi and a Sith debate their Philosophies | "The galaxy cannot be left in its natural evolution. Tell me, thousands of years of jedi rule and sith absence, what happened to your precious Republic?"
"It fell in to wars perpetuated by Sith aggression and plot."
"Thats dishonest, and you know it. Wars always tugged and pulled at it. And the clone wars was er... | A temple on a long lost planet. Rumored to be the key to all of the secrets of the force. Two apprentices of different sides of the force had travelled long and far to discover these secrets. They met in the dark depths of the temple. Torches were lit on the walls and the dim orange light was all they had to guide them... | |
[WP] Cats are said to have 9 lives and now, humans do too. When a human dies, they retain the knowledge they learned in their previous life, becoming more and more skilled/knowledgeable with each passing life. You're a person on their 7th life, consoling someone who has just "died" for the 1st time. | My son was four when he woke up screaming in the night. I ran to him, preparing to shoo away the vestiges of some childhood nightmare, armed with a flashlight and a teddy bear. It wasn't such an unusual event – he had an active imagination, like most children that age – but something about the depth of that scream spok... | "You just lost the first one Daniel, no biggie. You still have eight more lifetimes to experience the wonder of life." I said in a monotone voice looking straight into the blue eyes of a young couple's crawling newborn baby.
The baby slowly moved one inch rainbow colored letters to form words on the floor.
"You wer... | |
[WP]: Inmate #6, Vaughan Breeks. 5'6, 18 years old, about 120 pounds. Nicknamed Kitten. The most feared man in the colony. | The water meandered at a steady pace around my ankles. I could feel the small fish knock against me, taking test nibbles of my feet. I had been standing in the creek for several minutes, but it wasn't the cold November weather that chilled me.
It was Kitten.
We were allowed to fish the waters, that had long been est... | Looking through the records I often wondered why Mr. Breeks, henceforth to be referred to as Kitten, was given the #6. There were plenty before him, yet this number was saved for Kitten. After an interview with Kitten I happened upon the warden in the dark hallways. When asked why this number he gave a simple yet chill... | |
[WP] Write a love story between two lonely ship capitans whose only means of communication is Morse code | -- -.-- -.. . .- .-. .. ... .- -... . .-.. .-.. .- --··-- .. .-.. --- --- -.- .- -.-. .-. --- ... ... - .... . .-- .- ...- . ... .- -. -.. .- -- .-. . -- .. -. -.. . -.. --- ..-. - .... . -.. .. ... - .- -. -.-. . -... . - .-- . . -. ..- ... ·-·-·- - .... . ... | "Captain Loomis never talked much of his personal life, and if all his interactions are as bizarre as those long months at sea, I think he had good reason not to.
It began on a particularly muddy night, fog so thick you had to paddle through it. It was slow going. Then, it was only me, Arty, and Loomis on the deck, th... | |
[WP] Earth was never meant to habitable. It was meant to be a prison for the worst creatures in the universe. Today, the jailers have landed to inspect their prison. | “Captain, we are getting closer to Prison Planet 42. The shields are on maximum just as procedure. The computer started to analyze the data from the planet and close surroundings.”
“Thank you lieutenant, continue. Let me know if any of the prisoners are still alive.”
The science officer who was there to represent the... | (PART 1) "Must be the storms coming in from the north, its like-like every year this happens around spring break..", its six in the morning as I unwillingly eavesdrop on the early morning phone call Miko takes, "..cant it be any other week? Like perhaps a week where weather doesnt exist?". Miko cant help but make the... | |
[WP] Earth was never meant to habitable. It was meant to be a prison for the worst creatures in the universe. Today, the jailers have landed to inspect their prison. | ------------------
(PART 2)...Few days later...
Alarm rings. My bed is messy, as well as my hair. Sounds of metal and bags being moved around escape from the living room into my bedroom. Miko is already packed and im halfway there as well, but just waking up I have really no time until the uber gets here to take us ... | (PART 1) "Must be the storms coming in from the north, its like-like every year this happens around spring break..", its six in the morning as I unwillingly eavesdrop on the early morning phone call Miko takes, "..cant it be any other week? Like perhaps a week where weather doesnt exist?". Miko cant help but make the... | |
[WP] Earth was never meant to habitable. It was meant to be a prison for the worst creatures in the universe. Today, the jailers have landed to inspect their prison. | “Exiting subspace FTL in three, two, one…”, announced the flight navigation as blessed gravity again filled the cabin. They had finished their long journey from the Omega Tao cluster at last. He was happy to be back in his own reality and out of the unnerving pressure of the void space. Glancing at the array of panels... | The Circle, as it were, extends beyond all reasoning and comprehension. Reaching past the petty boundaries of the mortal planes and deep into the depths of astral chaos, they still found a purpose for each and every planet within the nigh-boundless lengths of the mort-realm.
Earth, they decided, was to be a haven for... | |
[WP] Marines don't die; they go to hell and regroup. Literally. The prince of darkness and his demons wage a losing war against an ever-increasing number of ultra-violent, disgruntled marine forces. As the devil you literally fought God once, but this is the first time you've felt truly powerless | It had been twelve years since the last time things were normal.
Twelve years had gone by since the routine of receiving whom his father, God, called wicked to his kingdom of hell had been thrown in to disarray by group of rebels. Rebels, conspirators, saboteurs, murderers of the damned is what Satan had grown accust... | It was as if up there things had become so rotten to the core that these guys were happy for the warmth. In all my immortal existence this had never happened before. You would get the odd nutcase who enjoyed torture a bit more than the others but it was only a matter of time before we devised a plan to put an end the d... | |
[WP] Marines don't die; they go to hell and regroup. Literally. The prince of darkness and his demons wage a losing war against an ever-increasing number of ultra-violent, disgruntled marine forces. As the devil you literally fought God once, but this is the first time you've felt truly powerless | It had been twelve years since the last time things were normal.
Twelve years had gone by since the routine of receiving whom his father, God, called wicked to his kingdom of hell had been thrown in to disarray by group of rebels. Rebels, conspirators, saboteurs, murderers of the damned is what Satan had grown accust... | "What in the FUCK did you do!?"
"Look, Mr. S, I'm really sorry-"
"SORRY! Sorry don't feed the bulldog! How in the everlasting fuck did you let those goddamn apes into my hell?!"
"Look, sir, I'm really sorry and it's my first week! I... I-I-I don't know! What's the problem? We needed more people down here anyway. The... | |
[WP] Marines don't die; they go to hell and regroup. Literally. The prince of darkness and his demons wage a losing war against an ever-increasing number of ultra-violent, disgruntled marine forces. As the devil you literally fought God once, but this is the first time you've felt truly powerless | "Thank you sir! May I please have another?"
"Are you an Angel? Surely this is a test." The demon seemed frustrated.
"Lance Corporal Adam Tomlin. United States Marine Corps. I feel like my serial number might be wasted." The guy strapped to the wall was shockingly young.
"I have cut you up and sewn you together c... | Satan was hiding behind a massive rock as the bullets were flying around him. Along him were several of his demoralized soldiers which were shooting back from time to time, knowing that it would have little effect.
This whole mess actually started several hundred years ago. Normally all soldiers coming down to hell wo... | |
[WP]At the age of 13 everyone gets a familiar like a cat or a wolf that they are bonded too for life. You ended up getting a blue whale. | “Please state your name.”
I rose slowly from my seat and raised my head, my eyes meeting those of the Inquisitor. She was looking down at me, her stern face softened by the pity that showed in her eyes. Her Familiar, a small barn owl with dark, unblinking eyes, was perched on her forearm, its round face also turned in... | We stood looking down into the tank, the bleachers empty behind us.
"It really said whale, did it?"
I looked sideways at the man in the blue jacket, who was flipping through his clipboard.
"Yeah, it says 'Blue Whale,'" he replied without looking up. He pulled a pen out of his shirt pocket and rotated the clipboard... | |
I'm fond of quote prompts. | [WP] "As long as you hold it true, and as long as you don't let it die out, that light won't let you die either." | «As long as you hold it true, and don’t let it die out, that light won’t let you die out either. »
I was thirteen years old when my father entrusted my light to me. He explained that he had kept it going since my birth, and let me into the secret room to show me his light. Next to it, on a beautiful candelabra, stoo... | I jerk awake, my head lifting from the train's window pane. The train had stopped temporarily at a stop I wasn't privy too, and it was hard to make out the signs outside as it was dark. Evening had fallen. I groggily glance at my watch to check the time.
20:56.
Manchester was still more than a half hour away. I stre... |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | Sorry for format, I'm on mobile.
The problem with demon summoning is how random the ritual seems. Somewhere along the line, someone had the bright idea to spread a lot of misinformation about the subject. Maybe they where trying to prevent a bunch of yahoos from bugging the greater demons of the abyss, or maybe the an... | I was drunk a bit past midnight. After a whole week of work I had a day of, time to party. But nah,I was feeling too sleepy,too dizzy...I blacked out.
I woke up with my head hurting,was that screaming just a dream? The fire, the ash. But no, it was not. In front of me was the most terrifying creature I had ever seen, ... | |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | "FOOLISH MORTAL! YOUR INNOCENCE WILL BE YOUR DAMNATION! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?
The behemoth towered over me, an infinite black cloud swirling with dread and the eternal haunt. Screams of woes and the sacrificed danced in its million eyes that glowed a sickly shifting hue of yellow and blue. It's black wretched... | I was drunk a bit past midnight. After a whole week of work I had a day of, time to party. But nah,I was feeling too sleepy,too dizzy...I blacked out.
I woke up with my head hurting,was that screaming just a dream? The fire, the ash. But no, it was not. In front of me was the most terrifying creature I had ever seen, ... | |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | “So”
I mindlessly stir my lukewarm tea. The ringing of my spoon against the white porcelain cuts through the awkward silence in the room.
“So” The man standing opposite me replies, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. After another moments pause I clear my throat to break the silence.
“You look a lot dif... | I was drunk a bit past midnight. After a whole week of work I had a day of, time to party. But nah,I was feeling too sleepy,too dizzy...I blacked out.
I woke up with my head hurting,was that screaming just a dream? The fire, the ash. But no, it was not. In front of me was the most terrifying creature I had ever seen, ... | |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | "FOOLISH MORTAL! YOUR INNOCENCE WILL BE YOUR DAMNATION! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?
The behemoth towered over me, an infinite black cloud swirling with dread and the eternal haunt. Screams of woes and the sacrificed danced in its million eyes that glowed a sickly shifting hue of yellow and blue. It's black wretched... | I wake up in a strange room. What am I doing here? How did I get here? I don't seem to remember any of that. All I remember is that one moment, I was at home with my wife and two kids... and now I'm here.
I had heard about this, back at home. My co-worker swore it was true, it had happened to his cousin's wife's best ... | |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | “So”
I mindlessly stir my lukewarm tea. The ringing of my spoon against the white porcelain cuts through the awkward silence in the room.
“So” The man standing opposite me replies, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. After another moments pause I clear my throat to break the silence.
“You look a lot dif... | I wake up in a strange room. What am I doing here? How did I get here? I don't seem to remember any of that. All I remember is that one moment, I was at home with my wife and two kids... and now I'm here.
I had heard about this, back at home. My co-worker swore it was true, it had happened to his cousin's wife's best ... | |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | "FOOLISH MORTAL! YOUR INNOCENCE WILL BE YOUR DAMNATION! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?
The behemoth towered over me, an infinite black cloud swirling with dread and the eternal haunt. Screams of woes and the sacrificed danced in its million eyes that glowed a sickly shifting hue of yellow and blue. It's black wretched... | The bathroom swirled with rumbling clouds of smoke streaked by lightening and the stench of sulfur flooded the efficiency apartment. The silhouette of a great, cow headed figure rose through the roiling smoke with a booming laugh. Moloch rose to his full nine feet of height and proudly stepped forward, directly into th... | |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | “So”
I mindlessly stir my lukewarm tea. The ringing of my spoon against the white porcelain cuts through the awkward silence in the room.
“So” The man standing opposite me replies, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. After another moments pause I clear my throat to break the silence.
“You look a lot dif... | Sorry for format, I'm on mobile.
The problem with demon summoning is how random the ritual seems. Somewhere along the line, someone had the bright idea to spread a lot of misinformation about the subject. Maybe they where trying to prevent a bunch of yahoos from bugging the greater demons of the abyss, or maybe the an... | |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | “So”
I mindlessly stir my lukewarm tea. The ringing of my spoon against the white porcelain cuts through the awkward silence in the room.
“So” The man standing opposite me replies, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. After another moments pause I clear my throat to break the silence.
“You look a lot dif... | I groaned as I slumped into the sheets on my bed, stretching my legs out. Normally I'd be out at the gym at this point, but work had absolutely kicked my butt today, and I felt a little entitled to a cheat day. Maybe a nap before my husband got home, that would be just the thing. But there was an odd scent in the air, ... | |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | "- So... You didn't sacrificed anyone ?"
"- No... I told you three time already...."
" -And... You didn't drew your blood on a parchment while signing a pact of some sort ?"
"- I would remember it, last thing I signed was my credit card receipt."
"- No virgin blood on it ?"
"- Not that I can remember. We don'... | I groaned as I slumped into the sheets on my bed, stretching my legs out. Normally I'd be out at the gym at this point, but work had absolutely kicked my butt today, and I felt a little entitled to a cheat day. Maybe a nap before my husband got home, that would be just the thing. But there was an odd scent in the air, ... | |
[WP] You just summoned a demon, the problem? You have no idea how you did it, and neither does the demon. | "Dan, the microwave's speaking again." I chimed out to the living room, unsure of how to get rid of this problem.
"I will eat the soul of your loved ones and feast upon their eyes." The microwave chortled after, banging the door against itself.
"Turn it off and on again!" Dan walked into the kitchen, placing a hand t... | “Listen, man. Can I have a blanket?” said Amy the demon to me. “It’s freezing in here.”
“Uh, yeah. Sure. Of course. Forgive my bad manners,” I replied.
“It’s cool. I’ve seen worse.”
I start walking to the bedroom to grab Amy a blanket. Then I stop, turn around, and size her up. Her? Him? It? I glance to its crotch a... | |
[WP] You awake in a cornfield in the middle of the night. A flashlight is on the ground in front of you. A note lies underneath the flashlight. It simply states: "You are being hunted". | Tall cornfield grow stood in rigid paths, playing the part of a natural maze wall. Squishing knuckles through mud, I pushed my balled fist to the surface and uncurled each finger. The same words had been etched into my hand, still a furious scar that made sense under a looming crop light. *You're being hunted.* The nig... | My tongue feels like sandpaper against the inside of my mouth. Temples are pounding. I open my eyes to the clear night sky.
"Ugh, another blackout," I say to myself, the smell of bourbon and vomit linger in the air after I open my mouth.
I pull out a pack of American Spirit Lights, and fish my zippo out of my pocket.... | |
Inspired by /u/Hurricane_32 's [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/softwaregore/comments/5q471t/the_year_is_9999_humanity_is_breaking_down_as_all/) | [WP] The year is 9999. Humanity is breaking down as all of the Earth's once plentiful resources are dwindling, and somewhere, amidst all the chaos and wars, as humanity struggles to survive, is a working Windows 7 computer. | "Sir, the men and women are ready for battle. On your command."
"Oh look. Where'd this come from? Nice! It's got The Sims on it. You know what? You guys go on ahead without me."
"Sir, we need you to lead us into-"
"This little sim has a mansion coming his way. Motherload. Motherload. Motherload. Rosebud." | "9&%@Q^*
(6782#^(&
(#@^*&@)
1-0*(&)_(*"
It'd been a long time since humanity had last attempted the Transfer. Considered a last-minute, point of no return strategy, it had been confined to the very depths of V-Earth's bowels. Considered both a political and social nightmare, the Transfer had been delay... |
[WP] Your childhood dreams come back to haunt your adult life | I almost didn't recognise him. His long hair was now cut short, he didn't wear glasses anymore, and his style had completely changed. Before it was all bright colours, and lose, flowing clothes, now it was all black and grey, which would have been tight even if they weren't so soaked that they were sticking to his body... | It's what I *wanted*. Foolish, I know, to see the world with young eyes and expect everything to fall into the simple categories a mind creates. Foolish as well to hold on to those beliefs long after experience shattered them. Yet, that dream follows me. It's too simple to know when to stop.
The dream has always been... | |
[WP] Your childhood dreams come back to haunt your adult life | I almost didn't recognise him. His long hair was now cut short, he didn't wear glasses anymore, and his style had completely changed. Before it was all bright colours, and lose, flowing clothes, now it was all black and grey, which would have been tight even if they weren't so soaked that they were sticking to his body... | "In the future, we won't need to drive anywhere for anything. We'll all have big glass tubes coming into our homes, and you'd be able to hop in one at any time in the day and be taken to any place on the planet. It'd be fast too, you would be in London from New York City in two hours and then London to Moscow in three.... | |
[WP] You're a sidekick. The new bad guy in town has you and your hero captured. The bad guy walks into the room you two are being held in. Right as your hero begins his monologue explaining how the bad guy will never win, he pulls out a gun and shoots your hero dead on the spot. | I stared at the blood splatter on the wall. *He's... dead.*
I look towards the villain. He's laughing his heart out now, a continuous laughter that contained nothing but pure joy and malice. "I killed him! *I killed him*!" He looked towards me. "I did it, Sparrow. You precious master, your Falcon is dead. Dead!" He b... | “O SHIT!
O SHIT!
OOOO FUCK NO! SHIT!”
“Shut up”.
I immediately stopped screaming, but the whimpering still continued as Eddy Lector smiled at me. Gun still smoking and a red hole right in Sean’s forehead. I couldn’t tell if his eyes were closed beneath the mask, but the white slits in his mask where his eyes would ... | |
[WP] You're a sidekick. The new bad guy in town has you and your hero captured. The bad guy walks into the room you two are being held in. Right as your hero begins his monologue explaining how the bad guy will never win, he pulls out a gun and shoots your hero dead on the spot. | I guess I'd really forgotten. Over the past few years, I guess the fact had just gotten lost amongst the long nights. Every thug and deranged psychopath at near every street, intersection, or back alley in this city. I remember them all. The one thing I'd forgotten?
We were only human.
I doubt Uncle Rob ever forgot ... | “O SHIT!
O SHIT!
OOOO FUCK NO! SHIT!”
“Shut up”.
I immediately stopped screaming, but the whimpering still continued as Eddy Lector smiled at me. Gun still smoking and a red hole right in Sean’s forehead. I couldn’t tell if his eyes were closed beneath the mask, but the white slits in his mask where his eyes would ... | |
[WP] You're a sidekick. The new bad guy in town has you and your hero captured. The bad guy walks into the room you two are being held in. Right as your hero begins his monologue explaining how the bad guy will never win, he pulls out a gun and shoots your hero dead on the spot. | I guess I'd really forgotten. Over the past few years, I guess the fact had just gotten lost amongst the long nights. Every thug and deranged psychopath at near every street, intersection, or back alley in this city. I remember them all. The one thing I'd forgotten?
We were only human.
I doubt Uncle Rob ever forgot ... | *"Dem's da brakes, Arby."*
*"No, those aren't the brakes. Those are never going to be the brakes for a man like me, a man who's never going to stop while wicked men like you---"*
I don't know what I was expecting.
I don't know what the fuck I thought was going to happen when I saw Johnny Midnite reach into the insid... | |
[deleted] | [WP] The year is 1735, and the first Aztec conquistador lands his ship on the shores of Spain. | From *West meets East: How Leif Erickson Changed the World*
*(Translation courtesy of the University of the Triple Alliance)*
If one asks any Mexican child what were the dates that *truly* changed the world, they would reply 0 A.M (1325 AD), 400 A.M (1735 AD), and 326 B.M (999 AD). One is obvious-... | The lands of Lisboa have fallen to our sieges! The sacrifices keep us strong!
Their strongholds are no match for us! Their gods are weak and pitiful.
Today, the invaders will make haste and run, and the Nahuatl will slay them all!
March on, warriors!
Glory awaits us!
The sunset invasion is our rite of passage... |
[deleted] | [WP] The year is 1735, and the first Aztec conquistador lands his ship on the shores of Spain. | Dear brother Alberto,
To begin my letter,first i want to greet you. How are you doing? We are better now. The weather is driving us mad, our wagons keep stranding in the mud. There are plenty of news to report from here on the road, mainly rumors. We are still picking up more refugees as we move towards Marseille. Wom... | The lands of Lisboa have fallen to our sieges! The sacrifices keep us strong!
Their strongholds are no match for us! Their gods are weak and pitiful.
Today, the invaders will make haste and run, and the Nahuatl will slay them all!
March on, warriors!
Glory awaits us!
The sunset invasion is our rite of passage... |
[WP] "Crocs... really Steve? Surely an assassin would wear more... practical shoes." | "What's wrong with crocs?" The other assassin asked confused. In Kyle's mind, there were many things wrong with crocs. But the most pertinent fact had to be...
"You're wearing god damned socks with'em!" Steve merely raised an eyebrow at his friend's rage. He was honestly the last person to be commenting about footwear... | "Excuse me! What about these do not scream practical! The comfort, the style. What's not to love?"
"Look, Steve, Maybe once you have been in field as long as I, you will understand practical," Teresa said. Flipping her auburn hair over her shoulder.
"Look, Teresa," Steve said mockingly, "I don't need to be in any f... | |
[WP] You are a farmer in medieval europe. A time traveler gives you a glock, lot's of boxes of ammo and teaches you how to use it. How will you change history? | This is magic isnt it?
This is the devil's will.
What could i possibly do with this tool and knowledge?
What will they think of me now?
The tax collector came by my door this morning. He was overcharging me again for the amount of land i have. My yield seems to get smaller yet he asks for more each time. Soon it w... | "Hey, you, grimy," a man spoke to me in an unfamiliar accent. It lulled my head up from my work; pushing my seed into the tough dirt perchance to create something of my own, something that I could have without it being taken away from me.
When my eyes finally met the man, he held out a metal machine; it was unlike any... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | I haven't actually written anything before, so advice and constructive criticism would be appreciated,
It has been only two weeks since my life took a sharp left turn at weird. Wow, it's weird to think that it was only two weeks ago that I was a normal guy at college. That the biggest concerns I would have in my life ... | The world was in panic. Liam Neeson was dead, and nobody knew what to do about it. Ricky Gervais had been the third person to attempt a eulogy, but just like the others, he had broken down into tears.
My poor, sweet uncle. His role in Schindler's List didn't even do a skerrick of justice to how much of a humanitarian ... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | My father hardly ever spoke about Uncle Tommy, I guess it was just painful for him. They fought for the resistance, back when Brazil had conquered most of southern Mexico. American Special Forces came in specifically to train the rebels. All he ever said was, “Tommy was the best damn soldier I ever met.” They had a fal... | The world was in panic. Liam Neeson was dead, and nobody knew what to do about it. Ricky Gervais had been the third person to attempt a eulogy, but just like the others, he had broken down into tears.
My poor, sweet uncle. His role in Schindler's List didn't even do a skerrick of justice to how much of a humanitarian ... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | The long blond hair flew behind him. He stood atop single jagged rock jutting out of the edge of the island's earth, hanging over the raging calm of the ocean. The dying ember's of a cigarette tip filled the air behind him with smoke as the ocean edge threw the winds inland. He stood straight, watching the sun edge the... | The world was in panic. Liam Neeson was dead, and nobody knew what to do about it. Ricky Gervais had been the third person to attempt a eulogy, but just like the others, he had broken down into tears.
My poor, sweet uncle. His role in Schindler's List didn't even do a skerrick of justice to how much of a humanitarian ... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | The long blond hair flew behind him. He stood atop single jagged rock jutting out of the edge of the island's earth, hanging over the raging calm of the ocean. The dying ember's of a cigarette tip filled the air behind him with smoke as the ocean edge threw the winds inland. He stood straight, watching the sun edge the... | “My dear little Jack, I will be dead by the moment you read this, the box you have in your hands have all my skills, skills I’ve acquired over a very long career; those skills should be useful for you in ways can’t imagine because those skills are from a part of my life you don’t know. I should try to explain you what ... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | The long blond hair flew behind him. He stood atop single jagged rock jutting out of the edge of the island's earth, hanging over the raging calm of the ocean. The dying ember's of a cigarette tip filled the air behind him with smoke as the ocean edge threw the winds inland. He stood straight, watching the sun edge the... | I haven't actually written anything before, so advice and constructive criticism would be appreciated,
It has been only two weeks since my life took a sharp left turn at weird. Wow, it's weird to think that it was only two weeks ago that I was a normal guy at college. That the biggest concerns I would have in my life ... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | It didn't happen often, most people didn't know you could do it. The few of us who did closely guarded the secret to our success. But this is where myths came from. Hercules, Thor, Gilgamesh, all gifted, bought, or stolen. I know of a man in America who has bought intelligence that has been around since Sumeria, maybe ... | My dearest nephew,
It is with a heavy heart that I must leave this to you. Since the inception of our family we have always had one male heir who has had the responsibility of safeguarding and keeping these skills. These skills carry with them a heavy price, for once you take on these skills you will become instantly... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | It didn't happen often, most people didn't know you could do it. The few of us who did closely guarded the secret to our success. But this is where myths came from. Hercules, Thor, Gilgamesh, all gifted, bought, or stolen. I know of a man in America who has bought intelligence that has been around since Sumeria, maybe ... | 17.
The note was sloppy but the handwriting suggested urgency more than anything else. The ink dragged downward as if it was bleeding from the papers own gravity. I could only make out the word 'seventeen.'
Uncle Fred looked just fine the other day. He sat on the porch in radio silence. The usual. With the exception... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | So, I must be dead. Good, I was a useless sack of puss anyway. The keys to the Porsche are over the passenger's side visor; Give those to your sister. Trust me, you don't want it. Thing was a money pit. I'm finding that one nice thing about being dead is I don't have to pay to keep that thing running anymore. Al... | 17.
The note was sloppy but the handwriting suggested urgency more than anything else. The ink dragged downward as if it was bleeding from the papers own gravity. I could only make out the word 'seventeen.'
Uncle Fred looked just fine the other day. He sat on the porch in radio silence. The usual. With the exception... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | So, I must be dead. Good, I was a useless sack of puss anyway. The keys to the Porsche are over the passenger's side visor; Give those to your sister. Trust me, you don't want it. Thing was a money pit. I'm finding that one nice thing about being dead is I don't have to pay to keep that thing running anymore. Al... | Part 1
---
---
*crrreeeeeeaaaak*
The box opens. Inside is an old and yellowed price of paper,
"Maya,
I have been working my entire life to acquire these skills. Working as a CIA agent, a NASA employee, and a lot of buying ,trading, and selling. I give to you my intelligence. With it, you may find a way to survi... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | My uncle was always the black sheep of the family, despite his success. He only came around every other Christmas, and the occasional Thanksgiving. But each time we saw him, he had the most fantastic stories about traveling, fine dining, and meeting celebrities and heads of state from all around the world.
When I wa... | One day the serious man in the serious suits stood at my door handing me a box and a clipboard. "I am sorry to inform you that your uncle has passed away. He has stated in his will that his skills should be passed on to you. Please sign here."
Confused and sad I stood in my room staring at the box standing ominous on ... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | I hadn't been particularly close to my uncle, so I was surprised to hear at the funeral that he had left something for me. I didn't know what I expected, but it definitely wasn't that box.
I picked it up on Saturday, feeling weird about seeing my aunt trying so hard to smile at me, to pretend she was fine and that she... | "Holy shit a magic skill!?!"
I never really knew my uncle. He seemed pretty cool. He had this huge "supernatural" foundation that everyone thought was bullshit. Only supernatural thing i knew about was telekinesis. My cousin, Kenneth, had telekinetic powers, he could move around small objects. But this was different.
... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | They were unmarked.
It must be the biggest faux pas ever to give someone unmarked pins. Doesn’t matter if you have told them exactly what was on them, which of course my uncle Jack, being dead, hadn’t. You just didn’t give anyone pins without clearly marking them. It could be anything really, a mind virus, set to wip... | "Holy shit a magic skill!?!"
I never really knew my uncle. He seemed pretty cool. He had this huge "supernatural" foundation that everyone thought was bullshit. Only supernatural thing i knew about was telekinesis. My cousin, Kenneth, had telekinetic powers, he could move around small objects. But this was different.
... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | I hadn't been particularly close to my uncle, so I was surprised to hear at the funeral that he had left something for me. I didn't know what I expected, but it definitely wasn't that box.
I picked it up on Saturday, feeling weird about seeing my aunt trying so hard to smile at me, to pretend she was fine and that she... | I slid open the door and crawled out of the glass box carefully without a sound, taking care to land softly on the opposite foot.
Tiptoeing down the stairs, I threw the rope around final bannister and made great effort to pull myself towards it without tripping the alarms.
With a great sense of triumph, I sprang vic... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | They were unmarked.
It must be the biggest faux pas ever to give someone unmarked pins. Doesn’t matter if you have told them exactly what was on them, which of course my uncle Jack, being dead, hadn’t. You just didn’t give anyone pins without clearly marking them. It could be anything really, a mind virus, set to wip... | I slid open the door and crawled out of the glass box carefully without a sound, taking care to land softly on the opposite foot.
Tiptoeing down the stairs, I threw the rope around final bannister and made great effort to pull myself towards it without tripping the alarms.
With a great sense of triumph, I sprang vic... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | "To my dearest Isabella,
My family's history is complicated, to say the least. Your uncle Alfred isn't quite the playful old man I wished to be. When I was close to your age, I was given the same task that I must now pass to you.
A few hundred years ago, our story started. Man decided to become God, and we all know ... | I slid open the door and crawled out of the glass box carefully without a sound, taking care to land softly on the opposite foot.
Tiptoeing down the stairs, I threw the rope around final bannister and made great effort to pull myself towards it without tripping the alarms.
With a great sense of triumph, I sprang vic... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | They were unmarked.
It must be the biggest faux pas ever to give someone unmarked pins. Doesn’t matter if you have told them exactly what was on them, which of course my uncle Jack, being dead, hadn’t. You just didn’t give anyone pins without clearly marking them. It could be anything really, a mind virus, set to wip... | I hadn't been particularly close to my uncle, so I was surprised to hear at the funeral that he had left something for me. I didn't know what I expected, but it definitely wasn't that box.
I picked it up on Saturday, feeling weird about seeing my aunt trying so hard to smile at me, to pretend she was fine and that she... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | They were unmarked.
It must be the biggest faux pas ever to give someone unmarked pins. Doesn’t matter if you have told them exactly what was on them, which of course my uncle Jack, being dead, hadn’t. You just didn’t give anyone pins without clearly marking them. It could be anything really, a mind virus, set to wip... | The box lid shut with a bit too much noise for the small room. The echoes seemed to collect in various corners, something I had never noticed before. Never been able to notice before. Because I've never been this aware before. Time feels thick, like I can barely push through it.
My uncle was no one special. Ins... | |
[WP] People can buy, sell, trade, or give away their skills. Some skills are passed from father to son, like woodworking. Your uncle recently died and left you a box. Inside is a warning, and a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. | "To my dearest Isabella,
My family's history is complicated, to say the least. Your uncle Alfred isn't quite the playful old man I wished to be. When I was close to your age, I was given the same task that I must now pass to you.
A few hundred years ago, our story started. Man decided to become God, and we all know ... | The box lid shut with a bit too much noise for the small room. The echoes seemed to collect in various corners, something I had never noticed before. Never been able to notice before. Because I've never been this aware before. Time feels thick, like I can barely push through it.
My uncle was no one special. Ins... | |
[WP] Write a story that would make any man cry. Like really cry. | I remember the day I first gazed upon it. The small figure was a sight I thought to never forget. Those unsightly features were the fascination that drew me closer towards it. Patches of brown and light grey quilt were covering the body. The face was tattered with cuts and loose flesh. It had a spot on the right eye, a... | Carl took another swig from one of the bottles of whiskey lying around his room. He always drank straight from the bottle because he couldn't stand the smell of alcohol, in fact he hated the taste as well, but he is on his last nerve and can't handle the pressure any more. Alcohol has been his friend for the better p... | |
[WP] Write a story that would make any man cry. Like really cry. | They always tell you let them go free, if they come back they're truly yours and if they don't they were never yours.
They tell you never to try and force anything a romance, a job, a friendship if it doesn't come naturally it shouldn't be.
I listened to them, that why I lived a empty life, died alone and no one ca... | Carl took another swig from one of the bottles of whiskey lying around his room. He always drank straight from the bottle because he couldn't stand the smell of alcohol, in fact he hated the taste as well, but he is on his last nerve and can't handle the pressure any more. Alcohol has been his friend for the better p... | |
[WP] Write a story that would make any man cry. Like really cry. | When I was a young I used to sit for hours beneath the great sycamore tree in my parents' garden. A huge, gnarled beast with thick, warped arms that stretched out protectively, far above my head. I'd often bring a book outside and sit leaning against the tree, wedged between two giant roots that were as tall as my wais... | Carl took another swig from one of the bottles of whiskey lying around his room. He always drank straight from the bottle because he couldn't stand the smell of alcohol, in fact he hated the taste as well, but he is on his last nerve and can't handle the pressure any more. Alcohol has been his friend for the better p... | |
[WP] Write a story that would make any man cry. Like really cry. | When I was a young I used to sit for hours beneath the great sycamore tree in my parents' garden. A huge, gnarled beast with thick, warped arms that stretched out protectively, far above my head. I'd often bring a book outside and sit leaning against the tree, wedged between two giant roots that were as tall as my wais... | 'Dad?'
'Hmm?'
I hope he doesn't catch the sigh of relief, but I think I'm safe; through the morphine, I'd be surprised if he caught much of anything. The past few weeks have been kind of a blur for us both. The news came quickly, from panic to diagnosis to this all in less than two months. It would be difficult to be... | |
[WP] You're the advisor to the Pharoahs who first convinced them that they should definitely build giant pyramids. | MY FIRST VICTIM:
(*I happen upon the Pharaoh staring blindly at the ceiling reminiscing about a fond memory and smiling blankly. As a construction supplier with close ties to him, I've been wondering how to exploit my friendship for profit. I figure this is a good chance to pitch an idea that's been keeping me awake.*... | Abu sir was a man of faith. He had blind faith in his ability to rise through cunning and sold his patriotism like a faith-healer sold Osiris; with complete devotion. His dedication to himself had seen him rise to become the pharaoh's military advisor. There he found favor, especially since the king was only 8 years ol... |
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