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Scripts

Dataset card Data Studio Files
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 Community
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We can't, we're on a hunger strike.
A hunger strike? For what?
Ha! Is the Pope Catholic?
I don't know.
Children, I know ALL there is to know about women.
What's going on, Chef?
Something big, children.
Look at that!
It's that vchip thing that's inside you, Eric! The polarity must have been reversed by the electric chair!
What?
Young man, you will tell Peincipal Victoria THIS INSTANT where you heard all these horrible phrases!
You bastards.
This is it! The time for action is NOW!! <b>Something must be done! This is like a spreading rash! They're pulling out our children's brains and filling them with trash! Can't you see what this is leading to? A world of smut and sex and poo! I believe the good fight has begun! Something must be done!</b>
What was that word, young man!?
Oh, he said rim job. It's when someone licks your ass for
I know what it is!
Kyle?!
Eric?
Ugh... You guys, seriously... I'm having Cheesy Poof withdrawal...
Mkay, kids from all over the State have been brought here, because you all share the same problem. Uh, young man... Let's start with you.
You've got a stupid accent too.
Eric, that is not appropriate.
What? Fuck French people. Fuck 'em in the ear.
Mkay, you see, children. This is exactly what I'm talking about. We have to change the way you think.
Mkay.
God Damn it your mom is a bitch, Kyle.
So you see, the point and the theme of the film is kept intact. And of course, the MPAA didn't cut out any of the graphic violence. What did you think?
Oh man, I'm gonna need a cherry pie to get the taste of ass out of my mouth from that piece of shit movie.
Eric, you're not watching your mouth!
You get me Cheesy Poofs with the delightful cheddar crunch, and I'll watch my fucking mouth!
Eric!!!! You need to be rehabilitated. Help me to help you!
Help yourself prickfuck!
I am not a prickfuck, mkay? You little asshole!
Thank God, that sucked ass.
Uh, except for you Eric. I'm afraid you need to work more on not saying the F word and the N word.
The N word?
Norwegian Ass Raper.
Oh yeah.
The rest of you are graduated. You can go home today.
Wendy, Mkay, if you want to start getting political, I'll throw your skinny little butt right back into rehab. Mkay?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT GRADUATE ME?! DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO STAY HERE?!
No, Eric... I'm afraid it's phase two for you...
Look, Eric it's your little friends.
What the hell are you guys doing here?
Eric! Don't talk to Ms. Brovlofski that way!
But mom! I'm not fucking addicted to fucking bad language! I don't have a fucking problem!
Goodnight, honey.
Mom... When is the war gonna be over?
I don't know honey. Soon we hope. You want it to end quickly, huh?
Oh, I don't care, I was just asking cuz all my favorite TV shows have been replaced by news and it's pissing me off.
Oh.
Mom...
Yes, hon?
If you went down on a horse... You'd tell me, right?
Sure, hon. Goodnight.
Eric?! Eric, what is it?!
I saw him!! I saw Kenny!!
Oh you poor dear. You've been through so much...
I bet him he couldn't set himself on fire and now he's all pissed off!! AGH! I can't say pissed off?! AGH!!
Mph rmpmh rm.
No way.
Mph rmph rm!!
No you can't Kenny!
Mph rm rmph!!
Okay Kenny, I'll bet you a HUNDRED DOLLARS you can't light a fart on fire!
Mph mm!
GO AWAY, KENNY! IT'S NOT MY GOSH DARN FAULT!
Mph rmprmmh rm!!
I don't have proofs of purchases from Snacky Smores, Kenny!
MPH RMPH RMPH RMPH RM!!!
AGAGAH!!
Mrphmmmph!!!
Okay. Not.
Aw, screw it. It probably isn't all that good anyway.
Cartman! What the hell are you talking about?! You LOVE Terrance and Philiip!
Yeah, but the animation's all crappy it probably can't sustain itself over ninety minutes.
How come Terrance and Phillip are so weird looking?
Cuz, dummy they're Canadian, just like Ike!
Oh.
Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!
You bet your fucking ass it was!
Suck my balls.
Yeah, <b>Shut your fucking face, Unclefucka!!</b>
Dude, how can you hate the environment?
'Cuz, dude, it's all sticky and airy and fragile and stuff. I fucking hate it.
I can't dude! We all took a sacred oath, and swore ourselves to secrecy!
It was the Terrance and Phllip movie!
Man, that movie gets better every time I see it!
Yeah, but you know what? That whole part about lighting farts is bullshit. You can't do that.
I bet him he couldn't do it... I bet him a hundred dollars!
Come on, Cartman. It's not your fault.
No, I know. I'm just fucking STOKED I don't have to pay him!
Oh.
I can't believe he's dead.
Yeah, I'm having total deja vu right now. Like this has all happened before...
Who the hell made up that law?!
You can't do this!! Have you ever HAD Cheesy Poofs? They're a taste sensation with a delightful cheddar crunch.
But they fucking didn't do anything wrong!
Yeah! And what rim job expert went and outlawed Cheesy Poofs!?
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!