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Scripts

Dataset card Data Studio Files
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 Community
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Oh, uh... I don't know if air strikes are necessary.
Not necessary?! Mr. President, may I remind you that our country's heart and soul are at stake, and our children's minds are the battlefield! The bastard Canadians want to fight us because we won't tolerate their potty mouths. Well, if it is war they want... THEN WAR THEY SHALL HAVE!!!
Ma'am, we're tracking a resistance... It's probably Canadian spies!!
Well find out where that signal is coming from! Then hunt them down like dogs! Any and all Canadian influence must be stopped at all cost!
Yes ma'am!
And Bill?
Yes?
I'm needing lunch.
Right away, ma'am!
Oh dear God...
What is 'fisting'?
I knew this would happen! Those bastard Canadians have now killed a child! Can't people see the damage that film is doing?!
He was killed doing something he saw in the movie. It was Terrance and Phillip... THEY killed Kenny.
Sheila, you're going to far! Those are YOUR children!
YES! AND I WILL NOT ALLOW MY CHILDREN TO BE RUINED BY SMUT!! I am sorry young man, but I have had it up to here! STRAP THEM IN!
Oh Lord, what have we done...?
Wake up, people! We all have to do things that aren't pretty sometimes! It's the not pretty things that make life worth fighting the not pretty things for! Why do you think children have to be born in hospitals?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! We need to stop the not pretty things from letting our children be born in hospitals!
We're going to find our boys! For God's sake Sheila, you almost had them killed!!
Shiteater
Or monkey fucker
Hey, dudes... Aren't you supposed to go to church, Kenny?
Kyle, check it out.
This is terrible! This can't be happening!!
We HAVE to see this movie, dude!
That was sweet!
Where do they come up with this stuff?!
<b>Thank my lucky stars Here before me now Is everything I'd ever hoped for Knew it in a word Saw it in a glance The only thing I think I'd die for...</b>
Aw, God Damn it, he's singing that fucking song again.
Woa, dude, who's your girlfriend's new guy?
She's not my girlfriend, dude!
Now remember, don't tell anybody we saw the Terrance and Phillip movie!
Yeah, let's swear we won't tell!
Nowhere.
I'VE heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before...
Yeah!
Dude, anybody who doesn't think Terrance and Phillip is funny can fuck off anyways.
Yeah...
OH MY GOD!! YOU KILLED KENNY!!
YOU BASTARD!!
Oh my God! THEY killed Kenny!
You bastards!!
How can they do this?
It isn't fair!
Dude, our moms arrested Terrance and Phillip!
Our moms suck!
Dude, let's help Terrance and Phillip!!
How do we do that?
What? What don't I get? What don't I get?
I don't know, dude.
That British dickhole is what's taking Wendy away from me!
I thought she wasn't your girlfriend, dude.
She's Not! But if she WAS it would be THAT little asshole who's fucking it up for me!
Wow, dude. Wendy could really give a rats ass about you.
I bet she would if my name was GREGORY!!
Good thing she was never your girlfriend... Dude, here comes Cartman.
Hey, Cartman, did they put that Vchip in your head or your ass?
What's the difference?
Whoa! What the hell was that?!
Dude! It's the Vchip! It shocks him ever time he cusses!
This is sweet!!
Totally!
I'm so sick of these soldiers.
Yeah, they suck.
Does it say what the clitoris is?
All it says is that it's above the vulva... But where the hell is the vulva?
Isn't that in Arizona or something?
It's only a matter of time before my mom has HIM burned too!
What has the world come to? This is horrible. We're locked up, burning books, hating other people
I don't know. But it has gone far enough! I'm sick of it! <b>Something must be done! Change has got to come around! They're taking all our laughter and burning it to the ground! Can't you see what this is leading to? A world of chains and ties and glue! We have to fight before they've taken every one! Something must be done!</b>
I agree! The only way to save our future is to unite and fight! <b>Something must be done! We must take action fast! My parents have gotten so strict they forgot they were children in the past!</b>
Okay... I just need to find a few private message boards...
Wait! Before we put a message out, do a search on the word 'clitoris'.
Okay...
"Found Eight Million Pages With the Word Clitoris"!
Wow!
I'll just try the first one.
Dude, do you know what you're doing?
No, dude, all you have to do is hit the keys really fast and say a bunch of stupid shit and it works.
Wow, a lot of people showed up.
Yeah, so what do we say?
I thought you had something planned.
Me?!
Oh, brother.
Did you shut the alarm off, Cartman?
Stan!
Dude, I found the clitoris! I think I can get Wendy to like me now!
Sweet.
WHAT?
Are you sure, Kenny?
Thank you, Kenny.
Yeah, thanks for going back to hell for us. You're a real pal.
Whew, I'm sure glad that's over.
Yeah, but you know, I learned something today. I learned that getting all worked up over fuck and shit and cockmaster is just stupid... You all focused so hard on erasing profanity that you forgot the most important thing... To love each other.
Mom, I'm a man. Just a man. And I'm going to have fun with profanity just like you and dad did when you were little.
Yeah, so what if you say uncle raper or dicksucker or, or
So... We must free more Canadian prizoners?
Yeah, I guess.
America... She iz a beetch that sheets on her own children.
Oh my God...