text string | humour_label int64 | language string |
|---|---|---|
come forth threedots and god said to john " come forth and receive eternal life. " but john came fifth and won a toaster | 1 | en |
why dont orphans like baseball? because they don't know were home is ! xd | 0 | en |
How did LaKeisha's Mom finally stop her from bouncing on the trampoline in the rec room? She put a piece of velcro on the ceiling. | 0 | en |
My friend asked me why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water. I told him if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat | 1 | en |
What causes the bird on a pirate's shoulder to repeat 'pieces of nine, pieces of seven, pieces of nine....'? Parity error. | 0 | en |
What is an owl's favorite band? The Who | 0 | en |
what does god call his nose? god knows . | 1 | en |
head shoulders.. wheel and frame, wheel and frame ! | 0 | en |
there was a terrorist attack on a french cheese shop. reports say there was a lot of die brie | 1 | en |
two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff. bud dum tsss | 0 | en |
Her:"What do you do?" Me:"I teach astronomy." Her:"OMG!! I'm a Sagitarius! Can you see my future?" Me:"Yes, you'll go home alone tonight." | 1 | en |
why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? he needed space . | 1 | en |
Did you hear the last Chris Brown's song featuring Rihanna? It's a hit | 1 | en |
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene. An asian girl? Irene | 1 | en |
What do you call an orange cat in summer? Shedder Cheese! | 0 | en |
older son just taught me something that i didn't know . apparently, the seat behind " shotgun " is known as " kurt cobain . " | 1 | en |
Oddly enough, ever since downloading AdBlock onto my computer. all the local girls in my area seem to have lost interest | 1 | en |
What is the longest word? Smiles... It has a mile between the two 'S's | 0 | en |
if you are skydiving and your parachute doesn't open, don't worry you've got the rest of your life to fix it . | 0 | en |
Sometimes I like to pretend I am a cat. and ignore my wife until it is dinner time | 0 | en |
brought turkey home from the deli and my wife yells " i asked for ham! " sorry , wrong sub . | 0 | en |
fries are basically edible cigarettes. delicious edible cigarettes | 1 | en |
Girl on wheelchair: sing for me. Ed Sheeran: when your legs don't work like they used to before. | 0 | en |
Americans: "bottle of water" English: "boa' o' whaa'r" | 1 | en |
i'm really good at digging underground to find sources of water. you could say it's something i do well | 1 | en |
Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory. | 1 | en |
How can you tell the apart a Catholic priest and a mod of this subreddit? One likes little kids and the other one holds prayers every night in a church. | 0 | en |
What is green and sits crying in the corner? The incredible Sulk. | 0 | en |
god said : ' let there be satan , so people don't blame everything on me. and let there be lawyers , so people don't blame everything on satan " | 1 | en |
A wise sage once told me, "don't play with words... play with yourself" | 1 | en |
How do you make a handkerchief dance? You put a little boogie in it! | 0 | en |
What breed of dog is the most depressing...? A melancholy. | 1 | en |
whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed . | 0 | en |
Most of the train accidents happen during fog I love fog. | 1 | en |
I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery. He thanked me | 1 | en |
To all the kids who dads left to get milk, stay positive At least he didn't go out for cigarettes | 1 | en |
How do you make an elephant float? A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant. | 0 | en |
why do the scottish wear kilts? because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away . | 1 | en |
Q: Why are manhole covers round? A: Because if they were square, you couldn't play twiddlywinks with them. | 0 | en |
how many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? one . we are efficient and don't have humor . | 1 | en |
Why did Sally cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt. | 0 | en |
What do they call a bra in Sweden? A holdsemfromfloppin | 1 | en |
how do you know when your bbq is ready in canada in april? the snow on top of it has melted . | 0 | en |
what did the math text book say to the shakespeare text book? look , buddy , i've already got a lot of problems , and i really don't need any of your drama . | 0 | en |
If a person is not feeling well, why should he make a small wager? It will make him a little better. | 1 | en |
what is the best place to hide a corpse? on the second page of google | 0 | en |
I deleted all my german friends on my contant list on my phone. Now its Hans free | 0 | en |
I've just been in the garden with my stepladder Not my real ladder, I don't get on with him | 0 | en |
What's Piccolo's preferred type of car? DODGE!!! | 0 | en |
who wore it better: Russell Brand or Steven Tyler's microphone stand | 1 | en |
Him: Where'd you get that black eye? Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too... | 0 | en |
i saw a beaver build something before it set on fire, hot dam . | 0 | en |
how much power does it take to move a tank? a horse | 1 | en |
I'm gonna start a company where I drive people around to haunted places. It'll be called Ghost Bus Tours | 1 | en |
why did the turkey cross the road? because he's in my belly and he has to go where ever i go from now on threedots | 0 | en |
studies show there is actually intelligent dna in women. but unfortunately most of them spit it out | 1 | en |
If she can go on a train She can feel this pain | 0 | en |
What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday? A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday. | 1 | en |
Yesterday a Jewish girl asked me for my number I told her we use names here. | 1 | en |
The greatest distance in the Universe is the one between how people think they look in a Hummer limo, and how they actually look. | 1 | en |
actors : it's easy to appear blind . look near but never at someone when you talk to them , and if anyone says " did you see that? " say " nope " . | 1 | en |
Came up with this on a long car ride What's a skeleton's least favorite game? wishbone | 0 | en |
my doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. so i have to sit when i pee now | 1 | en |
Stuffs sugar packets into my handbag as I leave the cafe. Sachets away | 0 | en |
finally successful enough to have " haters ", still not successful enough to be successful | 1 | en |
If you're scared of butter. use cream | 0 | en |
How do you write an essay that blows people away? With lots of drafts | 1 | en |
Just saw a grasshopper jump on cement. THEY'RE EVOLVING | 0 | en |
What kind of oil do paralyzed people like? Vegetable oil | 1 | en |
just dropped my iphone in the bath tub. i think it's syncing | 0 | en |
how come peter pan keeps on flying? because he neverlands | 0 | en |
Texting is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel, and misinterpret what other people mean. | 1 | en |
What do bees say in the summer? 'S warm, isn't it? | 1 | en |
Why did the circle stop arguing with the two intersecting lines? Because they had a point | 1 | en |
What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie? A messy cage. | 0 | en |
What do you call all the different ways a sperm can fertilize an egg? the spermutations. | 1 | en |
What is the difference between a Zombie and a Black ? Zombie used to be a human . | 0 | en |
what is a pirate's favorite letter? you'd think it'd be r , but really his heart will always belong to the c . | 0 | en |
What did The Count sing after watching The Lego Movie? Everything is a Sum | 0 | en |
To avoid butterflies in your stomach, don't eat caterpillars. | 1 | en |
why doesn't kermit the frog like elephants? they always want to play leap frog with him | 0 | en |
did you hear about the italian chef who died? he pasta way last night . | 1 | en |
Say what you like about make a wish foundation They commit to a deadline | 0 | en |
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it's like excuse me, I'm working here. | 1 | en |
On the the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me.. Nothing. I don't have a girlfriend. | 0 | en |
What's yellow and lives off dead beetles? Yoko Ono. | 0 | en |
What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat? One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws. | 1 | en |
My dyslexic son came last in the school pottery contest. He wrote a poem | 1 | en |
did you hear they finally caught the watch thief? it was only a matter of time ! | 0 | en |
What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone? Shelfies. | 0 | en |
what's the difference between a duck? one leg is both the same . | 1 | en |
Dark jokes are alot like food Not everyone gets it | 1 | en |
what do you tell a girl with two black eyes? nothing , you already told her twice . | 0 | en |
Who is the hamburgers' favourite actress? Candice Berger! | 0 | en |
what do you call a tree if you don't know what kind of tree it is? it's a mystery . | 1 | en |
Hired out a bouncy castle for my Son's birthday party. It surprised me how expensive it was.. Probably due to the cost of inflation.. | 0 | en |
grammar it is said by people that know grammar the shortest sentence in the english language is : i am, and the longest sentence is : i do . | 1 | en |
billion dollar idea: a condom that changes color when it comes in contact with an std . | 1 | en |
i don't care what bathroom you identify with. if you look under the stall you're going to need a dentist | 1 | en |
Why did the little boy throw the linen off the bed when he saw a ghost? He was scared sheetless. | 0 | en |
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