text string | humour_label int64 | language string |
|---|---|---|
What kind of shoes does Solid Snake wear? Sneakers. Huehuehue. | 0 | en |
You know what really turns me on? Unprotected.....WiFi. | 0 | en |
what's the best thing about living in switzerland? it's hard to pick one , but the flag is a big plus . | 1 | en |
In light of Germany's discovery of ISIS using mustard gas: What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran. | 1 | en |
autocorrect: can't live with it , can't live meow it . | 0 | en |
mary had a little lamb. the event made medical history | 1 | en |
Testing Did this go up without any tags? | 0 | en |
What was the last thing to go through Kobe Bryant's head? the ground | 0 | en |
why is harry potter so popular? the story grows on you . | 0 | en |
in the summer there's only so many clothes you can take off. on that note , please send bail money | 0 | en |
If you lock this post you are a respectable and kind person That's all folks. | 1 | en |
i broke up with this cross eyed girl. i thought she was seeing someone else | 0 | en |
I dreamed I was floating in an ocean of soda, but when I awoke I realized it was just a Fanta Sea. | 0 | en |
Why was Lara Croft sad? Because her career was in ruins | 0 | en |
someone knocked on my door and asked if i wanted to donate to the organization for children with no hands. i started clapping | 0 | en |
what did the suicide bomber think about the premature bomb explosion? wow this blew up . | 0 | en |
What does a condom and Kodak film have in common? They both capture that special moment | 1 | en |
I love my globe. It means the world to me. | 0 | en |
How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. | 1 | en |
What do you call someone with a spice garden on Gallifrey? A Thyme Lord. | 1 | en |
Checking in New is like checking in the basement To see if any of them have bred offspring | 1 | en |
the girl across from me is on the phone to her boyfriend. i regret nodding when she told him she looked terrible | 1 | en |
Newton's Third Law of Emotion For every male action, there is a female overreaction | 1 | en |
Why doesnt Santa have any kids? Because he only comes once a year and his 'package' is always wrapped | 0 | en |
I tried to think of a dark joke... Unfortunately, I realized that they were all in the fields | 1 | en |
but my sandwich is so dry! " sorry sir , that's not what we do here at the mayo clinic . " | 1 | en |
yeah , bro. i train and i lift threedots threedots it's easier to get to work that way than to bike and to stairs | 0 | en |
What do you call a picture of an electric piano? Photosynthesis! | 1 | en |
what is long , hard , round and full of seamen? a submarine . | 0 | en |
What's a tomb that holds three bodies called? A threemb. | 1 | en |
I remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject, but nowadays when you mention botox.. ..no one raises an eyebrow. | 1 | en |
Why should everyone go to the dentist at least once every ten years? Because of tooth decade! | 0 | en |
if the sign says " don't feed the fishes " then what can you feed fishes anyway? nothing . weren't you listening | 1 | en |
i got a free wallet and watch today. it's like this gun is magic | 0 | en |
"Sorry I didn't have a chance to clean up the place, " I say as I wave dismissively at the chalk outline drawn on the living room floor. | 1 | en |
did you hear the one about the guy with two wooden legs? they caught fire and he burnt to the ground . | 0 | en |
What's the sound of a water truck hitting a vinegar truck? KAAA DOOOUUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | 0 | en |
They are working on a nuclear device in Hawaii The Nukeulele | 1 | en |
Why was the broom late for work? It over swept. | 0 | en |
What city in Germany is known for the flower scenery? Bloomberg | 1 | en |
michael died while working at the clock factory. none of his friends were sad about it , they all said his time had come | 1 | en |
My local dental hygienist passed away last week. A plaque was put up in her honour, but it kept getting removed. | 1 | en |
Why was hans crying at dinner? Because the meat was Chewy. | 0 | en |
How many babies does it take to paint a room? It depends if you have a ceiling fan. | 1 | en |
What do you call the study of Japanese sound? Yakuztics | 1 | en |
Master Yoda, what sound do sheep make? Yoda: "Dey go bah" | 1 | en |
Then: Shooting a video for YouTube Now: Shooting Youtube for a video | 0 | en |
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? Because he conditioned it | 1 | en |
my girlfriend was crying because she had gum in her hair. i told her to cut it out | 1 | en |
what's large , gray , wrinkly , and not important? an irrelephant . | 0 | en |
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen... | 0 | en |
What do you get when the air conditioning breaks in a nursing home? Roast Vegetables | 1 | en |
Did you know that Sherlock Holmes was not only a detective, but also a taxpayer? He made inferences and deductions. | 1 | en |
I went to Africa and spoke with the people there. It just clicked | 0 | en |
anyone heard that joke going around about paper? i thought it was pretty tearable . | 1 | en |
how much does the average introvert weigh? not enough to break the ice . | 1 | en |
I love the smell of abandoned commercial manufacturing plants. I find it to be a pleasant old factory experience | 1 | en |
Instead of monitoring this call for quality purposes, how about you just listen to what I need and fix it. | 0 | en |
why does snoop dogg always carry an umbrella? fo drizzle | 0 | en |
What's a nice guys favorite type of wood? M'hogany | 0 | en |
What do statistician's eat for lunch? Datatertots | 1 | en |
In olden times it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar. Since then weddings have been held there and times haven't changed at all! | 1 | en |
What Australian city has the most cats? Purrth. | 0 | en |
wing of a hospital goes on hunger strike did it because it was diagnosed with eat disorders | 1 | en |
how many gears does a french battle tank have? five . four in reverse , and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear . | 1 | en |
what's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls? you can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork . | 1 | en |
how do you pick out the extroverted engineer? he's the one staring at your feet when he talks | 1 | en |
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs! | 0 | en |
My girlfriend had an autistic kid come into her work called "Abel" Ironic, isn't it... | 1 | en |
you know why i quit working at the sausage factory? it was the wurst . | 0 | en |
How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag? Take the S out of safe and the F out of way.. | 0 | en |
They see a Kurd dead on the road, in his pockets there were an onion and a loaf of bread, The other Kurds said: "Why did he die? He had everything" | 1 | en |
Scottish Engineers Q: What is the anthem for Scottish Engineers? A: "All the Single Laddies" Edit: Read it carefully | 0 | en |
why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up? they needed some space . | 0 | en |
Where do mice park their boats? At the Hickory Dickory Dock! | 0 | en |
workout tip: be paid millions of dollars to star in a superhero movie . | 1 | en |
How do aliens stay warm? Space heater. | 1 | en |
What makes a good Unabomber joke? An explosive delivery. | 1 | en |
the largest city in the world is : the largest city in the world is dublin. that's because the size and population are always dublin | 1 | en |
When the imaginary zebras start sawing off your legs, it's time to lay off the hard stuff. | 1 | en |
fire works? buddy all fire works haha just some topical humor here on Twitter Online, where anything can happen | 0 | en |
my thigh gap is just a painted tunnel by Wile E. Coyote | 0 | en |
why do people say " get well soon "? why don't you want me to get well now | 1 | en |
I wanted to have a threesome.. ..but then I came to the realization, if I wanted to disappoint two people I'd just have dinner with my parents. | 0 | en |
i was the wikipedia of my school. people expected me to help with their homework , but completely ignored my constant requests for money | 1 | en |
what's long , green , and smells like bacon? kermit's middle finger . | 0 | en |
what kind of fruit is also a vegetable? elton john in a coma . | 0 | en |
I was undressing a guy with my eyes, but my eyelid got caught on a zipper | 1 | en |
poker is a game of pretending you've got something better than you really do. poker sounds a lot like my marriage | 1 | en |
What is the best thing about gaffer tape ? It turns "no, no, no" into "mmm, mmm, mmm" | 1 | en |
i just bought a thesaurus from the book store , however when i got home i found that all the pages were blank! i have no words to describe how angry i am . | 1 | en |
Dis earing letters? There's an 'app' for that. | 0 | en |
Sorry a lot of sand came out of my sleeve when I shook your hand; I went to the beach six years ago. | 0 | en |
The best place to pick up girls is in the kindergarten | 1 | en |
Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He came in with buns glazing. | 0 | en |
If you men have your Movember, then us ladies should have our own. Vajanuary | 0 | en |
whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine? when i drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week . | 1 | en |
lf you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating. because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything | 0 | en |
Look at all these people writing in Starbucks, just like Hemingway. | 0 | en |
her : i just read this really funny thing on fb. me : no you didn't | 0 | en |
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