text string | humour_label int64 | language string |
|---|---|---|
Can you name two burgers who are royalty? Sir Loin and Burger King! | 0 | en |
What did Stevie Wonder's younger brother think their parents named him after British royalty? Because they named him Stevie Twoder. | 1 | en |
why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? he had nobody to go with . | 0 | en |
Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes? ....because they were a rip off | 0 | en |
what do you get if you cross a fish and an elephant? swimming trunks . | 1 | en |
Did you know that some vegetables float and some sink? For example, an onion floats in the canal but my disabled son sank. | 1 | en |
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing , you already told her twice . i know this is an old one but i didn't see on here so why not . | 0 | en |
Why does Snoop Dog always smile like he knows something you don't? Because he's been snooping around. | 1 | en |
if the cup is only half full, i suggest you buy a smaller bra | 0 | en |
Did you know about the guy that invented tampons? He went from rags to riches | 1 | en |
what's the difference between pizza and your opinion? i asked for pizza . | 1 | en |
how is a woman who got her winter coat at target similar to an officer on leave? they both got their fur low . | 1 | en |
am i the only one who just buys a new printer when the ink is gone? also , does anyone want to make a sweet printer fort | 1 | en |
What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don't take me for granite! | 0 | en |
Shortest Joke Ever Venicine's dear isn't it. Courtesy of Jimmy Carr, great joke | 0 | en |
What's Robin Hood's favourite font? Sans Sheriff! | 0 | en |
Nice guys finish last, cause stamina. | 0 | en |
ever hear about the roman general who had a fit every time there was cold weather? hail threedots seizure | 0 | en |
Ten years ive been looking for a play on words to impress my friends. No pun in ten did | 0 | en |
where did jessica go after the explosion? everywhere | 0 | en |
I know I'll never be a rocket scientist. because the amount of math they have to do is astronomical and I'm not very stellar at it | 1 | en |
If two vegetarians fight. Do they have beef | 1 | en |
date : " so , what do you want to be? " me : " impressed . " | 0 | en |
Why are snails allowed on ships? Escargot. | 1 | en |
did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg in a terrible car accident? he's all right now . | 0 | en |
whats the hardest part of eating a vegitable? the wheelchair | 0 | en |
I went the school of hard knocks. My knuckles are still sore | 1 | en |
Okay body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the "energizing" claims. You're soap | 1 | en |
How do you calm down an astronaut? ...you give him space. | 0 | en |
What did kobe say before dying? Gigi good game | 0 | en |
I recently started a business hiding landmines in prayer mats Just a few days in, business is booming and prophets are going through the roof! | 0 | en |
How do you know if a baby is dead? It doesn't cry when you nail It's feet to the ceiling. | 1 | en |
How does Harry Potter do web design? Inspecto Elemento | 0 | en |
Did you hear about the cow that tried to hurdle a barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster. | 1 | en |
There is going to be a merger between FedEx and UPS. Yep, they're going to be called "FedUp" | 1 | en |
What did the quiet kid say to his classmates while playing hide and seek? "I'll never be able to find you!" | 1 | en |
Chicken joke me: why did the chicken cross the road person: why did the chicken cross the road?????? me: it didn't i hit it with my truck while going to KFC | 1 | en |
Why does the U.S. Navy use powdered soap? It takes longer to pick up. | 1 | en |
I just discovered that the word 'nothing' is a palindrome... Backwards it spells 'gnihton', which also means nothing. | 1 | en |
i almost had a threesome once. i only needed two more people | 0 | en |
sandwich : hi. barman : sorry , we dont serve food in here | 0 | en |
A Buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stall. and says "make me one with everything" | 1 | en |
i finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. i threw my scale out | 1 | en |
What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore. | 1 | en |
no matter how bored i get, i'll never be bored enough to go back and read through all the greeting cards i've saved over the years . | 1 | en |
What do you call a male robot that likes to dress up in women's clothing? A transistor. haha | 1 | en |
my cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, i have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive . | 1 | en |
Why was the binary number so happy? Because of two's compliment! | 0 | en |
It's impossible to fool an aborted fetus. I mean, it isn't like it wasn't born yesterday. | 1 | en |
what is gray , has a trunk , and big ears? a mouse going on vacation . | 0 | en |
are people in wheelchairs okay with jokes being made about them? i don't know where they stand on the issue . | 1 | en |
what is a tornado? mother nature doing the twist ! | 0 | en |
I like my puns like I like my sausages. The wurst ones are the best | 1 | en |
what's red and white and red , red and white and red and white? santa claus rolling down a roof ! | 0 | en |
So, I want a refund of my donation to childhood cancer research. I donate every year, and the cancer isn't getting better! In fact, they're living longer! | 0 | en |
Ruth and Johnny, side by side, went out for an auto ride. They hit a bump, Ruth hit a tree, Johnny kept going Ruthlessly | 1 | en |
Just had my first threesome but it was not what I had envisioned. The other two guys seemed to like it just fine | 1 | en |
If you wrap yourself up in a blanket, you can show up to work late and say you were just rescued by the Coast Guard. | 0 | en |
What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito? You can't cross a scalar and a vector. | 1 | en |
Possible Fact: If you suffer with freezing cold hands, you are contractually obliged to test their temperature by putting them on people. | 1 | en |
i got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. threedots threedots it's a whisk i was willing to take | 0 | en |
my fortune cookie read " end of roll. replace " | 0 | en |
Eggs stay away from bowls Or enter at their own whisk. | 1 | en |
why does a chicken coup only have two doors? if it had four , it'd be a chicken sedan . | 1 | en |
what is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill? the penguin who pushed him ! | 0 | en |
sometimes you need a little distance to see things clearly, but other times it is obviously a bear and you should probably just run | 0 | en |
I would imagine paying your bills at a library in Prague has to be easy. You know, with all of the Czech books and whatnot | 0 | en |
I love those Discovery programs about space and time. I hope they always Continuum. | 0 | en |
What do you do with spoiled fish food? Load it in the chum dumpster. | 1 | en |
Kermit The Frog and Henry The Eighth... ...have the same middle name | 1 | en |
Why should you never partner with an engineer? They always have plans of their own. | 0 | en |
A man buys shares from the stock market. But he never shared any of it | 1 | en |
How do you make a small fortune in aviation? Start out with a large fortune. | 1 | en |
How many Emos does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter because there is no light, only dark. | 1 | en |
what do you call a bee from america? a usb . | 1 | en |
how can you tell someone's a navy seal? they'll tell you in their novel . | 0 | en |
Q: Who burped at the big bad wolf? A: Little Rude Riding Hood! | 0 | en |
who found america ? : d teacher : maria please point to america on the map . maria : this is it . teacher : well done . now class, who found america ? class : maria did . | 0 | en |
i was going to go to the alzheimer's charity run yesterday. but i forgot | 0 | en |
Boy, Peter Parker is lucky he was bitten by a spider and not one of those fainting goats. | 0 | en |
what is the smartest fruit? it's the orange , boy can it concentrate ! | 0 | en |
why was the girl stuck in the revolving door for two weeks? cuz she couldn't find the door handle | 0 | en |
I used to be brilliant at robotic dancing. I'm a bit rusty now though | 1 | en |
Have you seen that new documentary about constipation? Oh that's right, it hasn't come out yet.. | 0 | en |
i left my last girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting. i often wonder what she's up to now | 1 | en |
how do you find will smith in the snow? you follow the fresh prints | 0 | en |
How did they know Paul Walker had dandruff? They found his head and shoulders in the glove compartment. | 1 | en |
why do melons insist on having big weddings? because they just cantaloupe . | 1 | en |
i just deleted all the german names off my phone. it's hans free | 0 | en |
q : what happened when smokey the bear started the forest fire? a : he got arrested just like you would've . | 0 | en |
what has four legs , feathers , and can fly? two birds | 1 | en |
What's the difference between a bugatti and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a bugatti on my driveway. | 1 | en |
I refuse to go bungee jumping.... ... I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one. | 0 | en |
What's the slowest boat? A snail boat | 0 | en |
My dad died of severe hemorrhaging, and my best friend was disabled by ischemia. Different strokes for different folks, I guess | 1 | en |
what's the similarity between bill cosby and santa have in common? they both come when you're asleep . | 0 | en |
What's the difference between a tuna, a piano and a gluestick? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna. | 1 | en |
I'm like olive oil... Extra virgin | 0 | en |
How do you know statisticians are always serious? They mean what they say. | 1 | en |
The power went out. At the gigafactory | 0 | en |
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