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CriticalRoleTranscripts

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ASHLY: No, I’m going to hang.
MATT: You’re going to hang back?
SAM: You’re going to keg stand there?
ASHLY: I’m going to keg stand there. I’m proud of
you, Sam.
MATT: That’s what happens when you get Emmy award
winners at the table. You get that.
ASHLY: That’s the height that we can accomplish
though.
MATT: Yeah, that’s about it. You’ve peaked at this
point, we’re done after this. It’s all downhill.
SAM: There’s horses around, there might be a pony
keg at some point, I don’t know. We’re going to
work on it.
MATT: We’ll work on it. That ends your go, Keg.
Caleb, you’re up.
LIAM: I feel the wind and then shoot three Magic
Missiles out of my hand at the thing.
MATT: As you finish your attacks, you glance over
your shoulder as you hear this sound. You look in
the distance; you see Caleb– who at this point
has been this dirty hobo in the background– all
of a sudden, fire these three mystical arcane
missiles that glow and arc off anime-missile
style, through the woods, avoiding trees, and all
three slamming into the sides of this creature. Go
ahead and roll damage.
LIAM: That’s a four and also (counting) six– I’ve
got to change this dice, that is a ten total.
MATT: Ten total. (multiple impacts) It sits there
for a second after the impact, leaving these large
craters in the side of its chitinous armor where
it’s cracked and bits of liquid are spilling out
of it. It looks heavily wounded, but it’s still
alive.
LIAM: Was ist los?
MATT: You’re going to stay where you’re put?
LIAM: I will go crouch by Nott.
MATT: Revealing her position.
SAM: Hey! Get away from me! No!
LIAM: I didn’t make any noise. I just sit down.
MATT: That’s all good. That finishes Caleb’s go.
Beau, you’re up.
MARISHA: First attack. 14.
MATT: That just hits.
MARISHA: Wait, no, 13. Sorry, my math is wonky
today. That doesn’t hit, does it?
MATT: 13 does not hit.
SAM: There’s no advantage because my Silent Image
is there?
MATT: Unfortunately, no. Nothing is actually
flanking it.
MARISHA: Second attack. That hits, that’s 18.
MATT: 18 hits.
MARISHA: That is– what did I roll on that one? I
forgot. I don’t know what it was. Sorry, 15 damage
for the first one.
MATT: 15 points of damage on the first hit?
MARISHA: Yes.
MATT: Beau, how do you want to do this? As you and