id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
4b7ZVONWK1iKBbyYF2wRsPSsgRdjJEg8 | b8a30f | {
"description": "leaving a blind creep on his own",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving a blind creep on his own? | ​
English isn’t my first language so sorry if I make your eyes bleed.
Today was the first day at college. I arrived early to my class , so i was waiting in the hall with a friend. Then, we saw a guy with a green staff and that looked lost (he was partially blind) I asked him which classroom he was looking for and discover he is taking the same class as me, so I invite him to sit and wait with me.He was happy to have a “friend” in his new class, and since is a subject with lots of work to do in group, he asked for my number and, stupid me, I gave it to him.
The guy kept physical contact with me ALL THE TIME: he was sitting really close, and he had his hand in my leg or in my shoulder in a “casual way”. I figured that since he was blind, maybe from birth, that was natural to him,. But he did that ALL THE TIME. And he didnt do that to my male friend, that also was chatting with the creep.
He said he remembered me from first year and he started listing all the subject I took in 2017. I didnt remember him, since we never talked before. It was kind of weird, but hey, maybe the guy has good memory or something.
He suddenly asked me if i had a boyfriend. I asked him why he wanted to know that and he said“Im just trying to find a topic” . Ok I guess
He then said that it was good that i was his “friend” so I could guide him to his bus stop and be on his team and help him, things that at this point I really didnt want to do.
A moment later, is time for our class to start, and I walked towards the classroom with the fucking creep with his hand on my shoulder. I mean, blind people do that all the time, but this guy was being super creepy. I was using an sleeveless shirt and he was always changing his hand position to touch the exposed part of my skin,.He rubbed his fingers slowly against my back, like he was CARESSING ME. I was pretty creeped out and I looked at my friend for help but he just looked as confused as me. Ok, the guy is a certified creep. But disabled. How do you deal with a disabled creep? He then started doing LITTLE MASSAGES. I told him to stop, he does so but never lets my shoulder go.
At the end of the class, i sneaked out with my friend. I didnt feel guilty because there was some people that greeted the Blind Guy, since they knew him from other classes, so that means that there was other people that could help him.
Later I noticed I had a lost call from him and lots of audios. I only heard one that was something like “Please, next time remember to wait for me to help me, I cant wander much alone…” and other things that made me feel guilty. I mean, I leave a disabled person alone in a ninth floor.
I will try to spend the rest of the year acting like I dont know him because he really creeped me out. In fact, right now I think that I was really soft with him and should have scaped way before. I just blocked him cuz he didnt stop sending me audios.
But tell me, Am I The Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0VFs5HX8217V3LURS1neubNd1P898PqM | afnavt | {
"description": "being upset my boyfriend wants to quit his job to sell weed",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being upset my boyfriend wants to quit his job to sell weed? | I'm sorry this is long, please bare with me.
So we've been together for three years, I'm 26 and he's 31. We're both pretty fucked and underdeveloped due to our childhoods and history, but we've been trying to grow together quite a bit. I really see a difference with us being together.... But since we've been together he's been inspired to go from hobby to hobby (woodworking, machining) to try to find a way to work himself out of his rut that he'd been in ten years prior to me. He'll investigate the hobby and invest in the tools to the umpth degree and then really never do much with them and eventually move onto the next hobby. In the end this has put him in good small lump of debt that causes him constant anxiety. That mixed with a soul sucking job of being a tow truck driver, mixed even more with his multi year rut has caused him to be very desperate to make money so we can eventually buy a home. He had gotten into Ebay, but is having a hard time figuring the taxes and fees and again, feels stuck.
SO, we live in a state that you can't buy cannabis (bud, seeds, nothing), BUT you can have it and grow it. So you just have to some how magically make it appear. The police here don't really care that much about cannabis sellers either when there's a heroine epidemic. So the boyfriend now has it in his head that now that we're going we can sell enough that we can both quit our jobs (even though I need the benefits and insurance) and just grow and sell. He even has a master plan of how to funnel the money in an online sale sort of way to get it taxed and make it more legit! Which I was not too pleased to hear about. I don't mind selling a little bit, but I don't want to go to jail, and the moment anything goes online it makes any illegal thing you do ten times worse so far as I know!
After expressing my displeasure and even saying no to the money funneling he started acting as if I was just being stupidly paranoid. As if there's no way we'll ever get caught or go to jail, and even if we did we'd just figure it out! Maybe he could! But I want a legitimate life, I want to actually be able to buy a house, have a good job. HE could find a job after jail but I certainly couldn't in what I usually end up doing. I'm so distraught that I'm contemplating breaking up with him even though I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I just don't want to fuck it up by jumping the gun. I would love to turn growing cannabis into an actual job, but we have to wait until it become legal to do so.... Am I the asshole, is there something I'm not seeing? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
iFRXDVL4NTnNWM0vtbNcA4s6tZizJTGp | al1vy0 | {
"description": "leaving someone for not seeking help",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I left someone for not seeking help | I couldn't think of a better way to word the title but well here it is - would I be an asshole if I left the girl I'm dating because she refuses to see a therapist?
Our story starts in 2014 when we started a relationship. We agreed to an exclusive serious relationship. It didn't take long for me to realize that she wasn't being faithful but it did take long for me to finally confront her about it. Essentially, she told me I was being paranoid and adviced me to see a therapist. I broke up with her but we stayed friends which led into about 4 years of on and off relationship madness.
At the end of last year, we ended up deciding we should try things differently and just date without exclusion. Honestly things got a lot less stressful and she had become more open about telling me about anyone else she was interested in. I liked this mood.
Recently, she's been getting depressed every time the topic of sex and partners comes up and she expressed a few concerning things to me. 1) She doesn't feel like she's in control in the moments that she makes these decisions. 2) She feels as though she has no clue who she is. 3) She doesn't know how to stop herself from being someone she doesn't want to be. 4) Sometimes she finds herself crying without knowing why.
I've been suggesting in passing that she see a therapist or psychologist for awhile now, but after she said those things I told her that she seriously needs to do this. She brushes it off. No matter how much I try to explain to her that this is important and to take her mental health seriously, she belittles the issue. It pissed me off because not too long before that she made a big deal about how I need to see a doctor more often and start taking my physical health more seriously. I agreed to do so even though I really don't want to. Now it just feels like she's being a hypocrite and I told her as much. She said "It's not the same and I'm not about to admit that I need help. So I'll tell you that I'll consider it and we'll both accept that that means no."
That happened about 2 days ago and I've been thinking about it the whole time. I've spent almost 5 years pursuing this girl, and I am sure I'm in love with her but I'm not sure I'm willing to live with these problems. I want to help, but I know its pointless trying to help someone that doesn't want it. I hate seeing her like this but I'm starting to feel as though there's nothing I can do. Would I be the asshole if I broke up with her and distanced myself over this? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
UvC1zgbLENk99sD4u5hW0ubAKYqSDrB5 | b78xly | {
"description": "feeling a bit upset at my christian friends for not wanting to come to my bday cause of the location",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for feeling a bit upset at my Christian friends for not wanting to come to my bday cause of the location? | So basically I am agnostic, not Christian. When I moved here I had no friends and was very lonely. I go to a church to do volunteering and also to make friends. We hang out for dinner and talk in group chats. All of them know I am not Christian and none of them pushed it on me. They are all nice people.
Notice they have told me in their beliefs you can drink but you just shouldn’t get like drunk I guess?
For my birthday I really wanted to go to this bar. It’s a novelty bar so it’s not really somewhere I would go normally. I really wanted to go cause it was so cool and so I invited them. This place also serves food and non alcoholic so you don’t have to drink if you don’t want to. It’s also not a place you would find people like drunk off their faces (or least you wouldn’t expect to) all these girls also know I have wanted to check out this place.
I asked them if they wanted to come and all of them said stuff like “I don’t drink” which ya know fair enough and I understand that. But some just said “I don’t like that venue” or just straight up “I don’t wanna go there” one of them even said “I don’t wanna go there cause I don’t think God is in those places”
I felt it was a bit rude because like morally I am vegan but yet when my friend wanted to go to a steakhouse I went because it wasn’t my day to decide what to do.
I said “well to be honest I picked that place because I rarely have money to go out anywhere, have been waiting to check it out, usually I would change it to accommodate everyone but I don’t think so this time so I’m just going to go with my boyfriend instead but thanks guys”
Now I’m thinking I may of been selfish and rude? Was I? From what they told me I was under the impression they would be fine with a bar as long as they didn’t have to get drunk themselves.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
BOUqsbzEX6VX0iuP1hF8cCm5SFlnYMFR | a2a9an | {
"description": "not respecting my friends choice of partner",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not respecting my friends choice of partner? | So, anonymous account makes this a little easier, but here goes. TL;DR at the bottom.
One of my close friends, someone I had a brief relationship with 3 years ago (relevant later), is in a relationship with an abuser. He's lazy, workshy, steals money from her to buy weed, is at times emotionally abusive, manipulative, and has apparently hurt her. He also doesn't like her and I being close, as he thinks I'm trying to steal her from him, despite me saying I only want what is best for them both.
However, she says he's trying to get better and trying to be better for her. She thinks he can improve despite consistent displays to the contrary, and that he helps her see sense when she's struggling with her own personal issues.
So, in the last few days she's asked me to meet up with them both and try to be civil with him, despite our significant issues. I initially agreed but later reneged due to realising just how much his behaviour aggravates me. This made her angry, as she seems to think that he really can change, and wants me to try and get on with him. I really don't think I can forgive or even tolerate him, all considered.
TL;DR - ATIA for not wanting to get along with a friends boyfriend because of abusive tendencies, despite apparent attempt to improve? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
pwS4uGmHTp1AATSlyLUVqTDc1f1Eyx7A | acbqmf | {
"description": "not being friends with a woman I'm not over",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not being friends with a woman I'm not over? | I (27M) had a very close friend (26F) for a while. We hung out constantly, talked everyday, got along better than with anyone else in my life. Eventually, we both had feelings for each other and became more than friends. But then she moved to a different state and didn't want to me persue her anymore. Basically she wanted us to still be best friends but she also wanted to date other people in her state. I didnt want her to go, and she didnt want me to come. I told her it was too hard for me to deal with and that we should stop talking for a while. Eventually she came back to my state and I asked if she wanted to talk and she rather meanly blew me off. She apologized for that a few months later but I was still salty about it. Shes been dating this guy for a while now too and looks really happy. I've had a few girls since but nothing that made me feel like she did, plus those girls werent that into me so Im kind of really alone. Both in friendships and in relationships. She has been determined to be my friend, she likes and comments on about 75% of things I put on social media. She sent me a really nice message when I acheived a professional goal of mine. She is wonderful, kind, and supportive and Im not at all over her. Im always polite when we interact but I never instigate anything and I hurry off whenever we talk because it just hurts too much. One of the reasons I dont want to talk because I dont want her to know how much I miss her or how lonely I've been since she left, or how much some of her actions and comments hurt me. I texted her on her birthday a few weeks ago and we ended having a longish conversation mostly about nothing and toward the end she said "I'm sorry, I know you weren't looking to have a conversation. I Just miss talking to you" it made feel really guilty for not being able to move on and accept where she is in her life.
AITA for not moving on and reciprocating her friendship? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
SYOIlxQGTgozrbtKcmL8QlSK7E5xw5bS | b2ett3 | {
"description": "grieving harder over the death of my family dog than for my grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA (or a bad person) for grieving harder over the death of my family dog than for my grandmother? | When my grandmother passed away, I was devastated, but I was able to carry on relatively quickly. I loved her very very much, and there was nothing wrong with our relationship. I come from a semi large family so at gatherings when I saw her, I didn't hear from her or talk to her all that much. I don't remember having any one on one conversations with her, apart from when she baby sat me as a child.
When my dog Riley passed away I couldn't stop crying for days, and I would still tear up about it often for weeks-months after. I felt too sick to eat and I didn't want to talk to anyone for a long time. We had him for 11 years, and passed away when I was 16, which is a bit over a year after my grandmother passed away.
The whole time I was grieving over Riley, I was also beating myself up over how much more intense my reaction was to this than to my grandmother's passing away. I still think about it a lot and I just feel so so guilty. It seems callous for a person to grieve more over a pet than a grandparent. Am I a bad person for this? (Or, AITA?)
P.s. let me know if there is a better sub for this, I couldn't think of one | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
hXZWfc2YIUEzZizSDhNgmO270AuAbl8H | b474sa | {
"description": "asking my bf to manscape a little",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA if I asked my bf to manscape a little? | Been with him 9 months, no issues in our relationship, he's wonderful. The only thing that slightly bothers me is that he doesn't really groom himself at all other than shaving his face. Tbh he's Indian and he's got dark hair literally all over and he's just super hairy everywhere which to an extent is completely fine with me, it's not like I want a hairless guy or for him to shave completely AT ALL and he does shave his junk a little bit which I appreciate, but he is an extremely hairy guy. and I love his body and am obviously sexually attracted to him but I just think to an extent it makes him look a little unkempt. Maybe tmi, but what bothers me the most is he has a really hairy ass and ass crack and back and it's not like I'm completely disgusted by it but I do wish he would shave it at least a little bit because it does turn me off slightly. He's not unhygienic or anything and definitely takes care of himself, but I feel like that has to affect hygiene a little bit.
And also, maybe kind of shallow to bring this up, but some acquaintances mocked him for being hairy and especially his back when we went on a beach trip with some people, which is completely shitty on their part and I confronted them about it and like told them to fuck off obviously, but still. Yeah, it does bother me a little but idk if it would be shitty to tell him to shave a little bit. He's never told me to shave down there or my legs or anything, even though 99% of the time I do out of preference so idk if it would be asshole-ish of me to tell him to.
TLDR; My bf's an extremely hairy guy. His back and ass being super hairy kind of turns me off a little. WIBTA if I asked him to shave/manscape a little and maintain his body hair a little? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
3h8we5QfseNKobzQGmhJvPkgVn0VbbeN | adps2h | {
"description": "buying a Groupon for kayaking in August 2018 to surprise my boyfriend with",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for buying a Groupon for kayaking in August 2018 to surprise my boyfriend with? | I got this kayaking groupon because I thought I could take him out for a fun time and when I told him, he said “yeah we can go sometime” and when I bought it up later through the weeks, he’d always have an excuse to not go. He has kayaked before and is a good swimmer so it’s not about him being scared or nervous. He just never wants to do anything or go out. I didn’t want to push him but I would remind him of the kayaking groupon here and there. Fast forward it is now January and it expires on the 22nd. He says he doesn’t want to. Too late to return the groupon or do anything about it now. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
akzZbNeY1GBJmh6Sa5rA2GW45ttXQstc | b22tih | {
"description": "wanting my friends to help stand up for me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I want my friends to help stand up for me? | I haven't actually said anything to my friends, because I'd feel bad demanding someone to stand up for me.
Like today this guy who overreacts if he feels slightly threatened was like yelling at me because he thought I was rubbing a mistake he made in his face (I just was trying to tell him how to correct it so it didn't happen again, since we worked together), and my friend was standing right besides me but didn't say anything. I defended myself though, in saying that I didn't mean it the way he thought I meant it, and the conversation ended there.
Again, I'm not gonna demand people to stand up for me, but AITA for feeling this way? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sIy3K2yFShvMT61L2Av6F7Ti5OKhyPDM | ap9ibd | {
"description": "not wanting to play minecraft with my 9 year old sister",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not wanting to play minecraft with my 9 year old sister? | So i made a lan server so i can play minecraft together (we both hate each other but mom told me to play with her because she's bored). From the start she was getting annoying. Didn't do anything , begged me for items etc. I told her to do something instead of making me do all the work. ffs 30 minutes i need to take my meds (i got an ear infection last week, so they gave me some pills to take 3 times a day). I go downstairs to take them and when i return i see that she killed me, took all my items and destroyed my house | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
SrDVSvgewwkUDOV59L3djDa7jDsGLYCH | av3jsx | {
"description": "pulling my work from a project last minute and screwing the team over",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for pulling my work from a project last minute and screwing the team over? | *I'm using a throwaway because my main reddit has identifying info on me.*
​
For the past 2 months I have been working on a team I was assigned to for a college internship. All of us are working with a company and each team was supposed to work together to program a larger application overall (there are about 40 people total broken up into 10 teams.) that we would then present potentially get jobs with said company. (It's treated as a paid internship.)
​
I signed up for this mainly because I was simply using it to fill out credits for my last semester before I go to get my masters. This isn't to say I didn't plan on trying or not taking it serious. I just had no plans to take the job in the end. This is where the problem is, the 3 people who I was assigned with are lazy idiots. 2 of them are "Rich boys" (Their words, not mine) who coasted into this program because their dads work in the industry. The other guy I don't know as i've never met him in person or even communicated with.
​
Suffice to say, I did all the work. We were given the application specifications at the start and we've (i've) been working nonstop in the 3 month period we had. The other 3 have blown this project off big time. They constantly miss the weekly meetings we schedule and 3/4 times a month i'm alone in the library programming myself. The other 2 have contributed, but the three of them together have programmed 20% of this project while I've done the other 80%.
​
Well, I got sick of it a long time ago. And made the drive I put my code in private 2 weeks ago and none of them noticed. Well, once a month a we're required to have a company rep sit in on our sessions and this last Friday she came to see me alone. She was honestly really cool and nice and I talked to her almost the whole time. In the end, after i explained the situation, she recommended I pull out of the project. The contract we signed gives us a "get out" clause that says we can leave at any time, The only condition is we hand over the code we did on our own, we get paid for it, and the team had to recreate any code the person who left did on there own. Seeing as none of them helped me on 80% of the project this would mean their fucked.
​
I filled the pull out papers there and then and left. Last night the rest of the team found out and their pissed. The 2 boys are texting me every 30 minutes begging me to come back or swearing at me for "fucking them over" the one who i've never seen sent me an email saying he's sorry that he's been busy and if I come back he'll "give this project his full attention."
​
I'm over all 3 of them but I feel kinda bad. Maybe I should have given them some notice or just stuck through it like I intended and promised I would. So am I the ass here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ViewaaMifktXmVhbhNq5qEMnsmJ5eczW | a5w8nq | {
"description": "wanting to leave a festival",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting to leave a festival | For a bit of background: I am 15 and this was around Thanksgiving.
My aunt and uncle were coming in for the holidays and my father said that we were going to a local festival. I hate big gatherings like this and didn’t want to go. My dad said that I was going and that he already bought my ticket. While we are there I am uncomfortable the entire day, huge headache, getting pestered by bees, etc., and request to leave multiple times. My dad says that if I leave with him then everyone leaves(we had multiple cars). I am fed up at this point and agree and we leave.
A week later my dad says that I am no longer invited to anything because of how I acted. I took offense to this and told him that the only reason I went is because he guilted me into going. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
m1aH23aU9FdZkniXr0JFwdEfpTzIGQeX | 9ykdkr | {
"description": "requesting my gf to change her makeup style",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for requesting my GF to change her makeup style? | Long story short.
I fell in love with this girl long time ago at the very first glance.She was gorgeous.I was brave enough to ask her out and we actually became a couple (story if anyone interested,indeed a really romantic one)
Anyways she changed her makeup style couple of weeks ago which I'm not really happy about,she's a classy girl and that doesn't fit her at all.
I haven't ask her to change it back yet but I'm planning to.
I think i should leave her however she likes it.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
CRv3ngkrIkFytrNpx9YPTBpLP8XUy2ng | 9u3eun | {
"description": "beating up my brother",
"pronormative_score": 83,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for beating up my brother? | Sorry for format, am on mobile.
My (15m) brother (13m) is always berating and hitting me for no reason. I just have to sit there and take it, because if I say anthing back, I get in trouble, but he doesn’t. Now, what happened here is a normal day of him telling me to kill myself because I beat him at a game. So, I leave the room, but he follows me. He follows me all around the house saying how I should kill myself, I should’ve been aborted, he hopes I die etc.
So I go hide in the car and he stands by the window, continuing to say all the awful things. So I tell him to fuck off because he’s being a peice of shit. So he goes back inside, grabs my guitar, and slams it repeatedly against the driveway. Afterword he comes up to the window and fucking laughs at me. When he turns around and is almost inside I get out of the car, run up to him and pelt him in the back of the head and shove him down until my mom pushes me off of him. I am grounded for 2 weeks, and he didn’t get anything. So I’m grounded and have to buy a guitar(my parents think he’s precious and they won’t make him buy me a new guitar, guitar was on old martin my grandad gave me). So, aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 83,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 83,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hjpNeARPDGg110LltOg3wHb0RQ5KrRF2 | ax1stp | {
"description": "not planning to visit my parents outside of holidays",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not planning to visit my parents outside of holidays? | I'm an only child in my late 20's. My parents live several hours away, but I find the drive unbearable. Its just something personal where I really hate driving, especially alone on long trips. I would have no problems visiting if it didn't take up two stressful travel days to visit.
My mom tries to guilt me into driving down to visit often. I don't make a fuss when going over on major holidays, but I plan to say no to any more "just because" requests from here on out.
The holidays were recent, and I did give in to a "just because" trip late last year, so I had three trips in a short time that helped me realized how un-enjoyable these visits have become. I spend most of the time there on an uncomfortable couch watching TV. Its a small town without much to do. If they aren't at work, my parents frequently go to their rooms, lock the door, and get high, so only a very small fraction of me being out in the living room is spent with either of them. We do occasionally do things together, but it feels like such a small portion of the trip is spent doing anything like that.
Now, my parents aren't abusive, or manipulative, or narcissists. We weren't super wealthy, but I had a great childhood, and they put me through college, and they supported me throughout. They just miss me and want to see me I guess. We get along well, and we have things to talk about (I talk with both on the phone regularly), so the reason doesn't have anything to do with my relationship with them. I also have the free time, job flexibility, and means to make these trips as often as I wanted to. I could even afford to fly and avoid the drive. So I really have no excuse. I just find it un-enjoyable, and I don't want to do it.
When other out-of-town family members go down to visit the area (my grandparents live there as well), I know I'll get a guilt-trip-ish text asking to come down, but I don't feel like we have the same family dynamic to compare. Both my parents have several siblings, and they each have multiple children. I get along great with them all, but they grew up together as a very close-knit group. I grew up an only child with no cousins/uncles/anything that were even close to my age, so I never had family that I could be "friends". I grew up a bit more independently but I came to like it that way.
My parents do visit me sometimes. I don't love these visits, since I live in a small apartment with no guest accommodations, but we make it work. At least I can still be comfortable in my home. That said, my mom has some chronic, but sporadic, health issues, and shes currently not in a position to travel, so that's not an option for her in the near future.
Last point, I haven't really discussed any of this with them. I think my parents think my "no"s mean "not right now". My last visit was on xmas, and my dad visited me when he had a work trip in my city last month, but the guilt-trip texts have recently started so I might tell them this soon if it continues. | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 10,
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ZIohOoti5WYz6BHO14YXD3JjhRaYIT5f | anc0cb | {
"description": "breaking the family apart",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for breaking the family apart | Whole story short, my Grandpa abused and sexually abused most of his children and grandchildren, including my mother and probably me, I don't know for sure but I show the signs and they are still repressed memories.
We won't get closure since he killed himself.
But the AITA part comes now.
After he was gone my mom and I wanted to talk it out with the rest of the family. But they were still denying it. So my Family split apart in the end.
Now it's only me, my mom and my step-dad.
Are we the asholes for breaking the family apart. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 6,
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} | RIGHT |
AOzl0DPKY47vnxohpMQR1nfoq9yU4rDo | b69c8f | {
"description": "not being happy for my sister going to her dream college",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for not being happy for my sister going to her dream college? | I'm the oldest of three. My siblings are 7 and 11 years younger than me respectively.
I went to the college I went to because my parents told me they couldn't pay much, so I tried to apply to places that would give me money. My parents knew absolutely nothing about the college process - I did all the research/ calculations/ etc on my own to figure out what MY stats were, what the stats of the colleges I was applying to were, how much money they were likely to give me given the discrepancy, etc.
I ended up going to a small liberal arts college (with stats well below mine) that had a big scholarship fund and although sticker there was around 65k inc. room/board, my scholarship meant I went for less than 10k a year and came out with no debt.
My younger sister is not as good of a student as I was and her SAT scores were significantly lower. (Despite my parents paying for private 1x1 SAT tutoring for her, which I did NOT have.) But she applied to a bunch of schools that her scores fell within the average range, and most of them were state schools in the NEIGHBORING state, so my parents can't take advantage of reduced tuition, and they don't have huge endowments to give out merit scholarships.... And for that reason she didn't get ANY scholarship money. From ANY schools.
My sister has a track record of wearing my parents down until they give her what she wants. So today, she calls me THRILLED telling me that she convinced my parents to pay sticker price to her top choice school. I just couldn't bring myself to be happy for her because she KNOWS my parents have another child they need to put through college and can't afford to pay that much for her without going into debt.
I told her I wasn't thrilled that she put my mom and dad into that position and suggested that she wait until her appeal meeting with the school (next month) about getting more financial aid money before she starts posting all over social media saying she's going there. She got extremely upset and told me that she just wanted me to be happy for her and I was jealous. Then she told my mom I was upsetting her, and now my mom is in my inbox, angry, telling me to "let her have her day."
I guess I am jealous. But I feel like if I had just been inconsiderate and chosen my top choice school regardless of how much money it would sink my parents into a hole, theres no way they'd have paid it, and I'd have been stuck either with loans or at a community college. One thing to note is that because I'm the oldest, at this point they understand how important college is, whereas they did not when I was going through it. They helped my sister through the process due to their familiarity with it secondhand from me, but I did ALL of it on my own.
Anyway... am I the asshole? Should I have just sucked it up and pretended to be happy? Probably but I'm curious and I can't stop thinking about it. | HISTORICAL | {
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9o911Ie384toMBKuYu3ae0WsstL1RHpB | 9tvhwi | {
"description": "not wanting my friend to bring his girlfriend along every time we hang out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my friend to bring his girlfriend along every time we hang out? | I have a friend from university and we're part of a group of male friends, all good friends with each other. We often hang out on the weekends and just chill or do shit together, like drink and whatnot. Three months ago, this dude starts a relationship with this girl he knew from high school and all of a sudden, he has no time for his friends. He rarely ever hangs out with us, because his girl needs all of his time. She lives in a different city, and he visits her every weekend. At the start of every new week, when he has to come back to Toronto to go to class, she begs him to stay with her, usually crying about it.
But what really ticks me off is that the nights we do hang out together, she always has to be there. Either in person or on video call. We're a group of guys. I'm not comfortable having this girl who none of us really know around us when we're drunk and saying stupid shit. I'm not very comfortable opening up around strangers. Never have been. She calls him on video for hours every time we hang out together, and if not, she has to call him on the phone and cry, saying she wants to be with him. It pisses me off because what does she think? That he's gonna cheat on her? At home with his guy friends? We are a group of straight dudes.
He wants to marry her (after three months, go figure). This seems like an unhealthy relationship, but whatever, that's not my business. The thing is though, I tend to get frustrated every time he calls her when we're together. It's time for guys to hang out. I don't want this random girl there. When she calls, we all have to stop talking and just sit there solemnly because none of us are really comfortable around her, because we don't know her. I have a wife, but she doesn't tag along every time I go out with my guy friends, and I don't tag along when she goes out with her friends. Is it wrong of me to expect my friends to have the same respect?
One of our other friends (he's single) always tells me to "respect" their relationship, that they're in their honeymoon phase and whatnot, and that I shouldn't be an asshole. AITA for wanting this dude to respect our time to hang out as guys?
P.S. Let me just say that I have NOTHING AGAINST HANGING OUT WITH GIRLS. Just, this is time for a bunch of guys to chill. It's not even because she's a girl, it's more because she's dating one of our friends and that we don't know her. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
VICDDc9nmchhIIEgdRMRbaLFD2al6VMZ | b47hh0 | {
"description": "getting angry with my friends because they didn't invite me for a night out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting angry with my friends because they didn’t invite me for a night out? | Yeah so here goes two days ago my friends went to a nightclub (a nightclub I’m bugging them to go with them since I turned 21) without inviting me and I initially knew that they are planning without me because they become so secretive In that night before the night out. so in the morning I just found out via a friend’s instagram story, confronted them like saying am I enough for them and lashed out. And now my friend told me that I am boring to be with if we’re drinking alcohol (like I turn down drinks because I don’t want to be drunk + stomach problems) and a friend told me that I’m basically a vibe killer.
Then after that an acquaintance joins in for no reason (not the one I texted) tweeted something about me that I initially knew because I keep saying that if I’m drinking with them, and later admitted that tweet was for me. Indirectly told him to fuck off because we’re not that close so I had to relay it to a friend. He got mad after receiving that message, called me immature and gay.
AITA?
TL;DR My closest friends went out for a night out without inviting me because according to them I’m boring when it comes to alcohol felt betrayed and confronted them. | HISTORICAL | {
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k5xleOVPe6OeryTUdkW1HhiBGg3w00hR | 9txo76 | {
"description": "not inviting stepmother to baby shower",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not inviting stepmother to baby shower. | Soon to be dad here. To say that I dont get along with my stepmother is an understatement. I can't stand her. I mostly tolerate her in social situations for my father's sake, but I'm drawing the line here. We're having a women's only baby shower. I invited a few women in my family but not my stepmother. I'm also going to keep her contact with my son while growing up to a minimum. My father doesn't like this.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
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Hp51dkq0lP0b0TbLwXKqK2Uqm5cewjTM | aacv09 | {
"description": "leaving my boss when he's in desparete need of me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for leaving my boss when he's in desparete need of me? | Long story, and my first post.
Literally made the account so I could get some advice.
I'm 21M studying and doing a "part time" job side by side. Why I quote? Because that was my intention an year back when I applied/joined.
I applied to my boss for a part-time/internship an year back to earn some bucks and use my wasted time to learn something new. The offer made was as below:
INR 15,000 a month (around US $215).
5 days a week
Timing was flexible as long as the work was being done
Will work for 2 months, max 3.
And this was how my first day went.
Was asked to report at 9am (which i did) and was asked to sit till 6pm so that my boss could come back and review my work.
Day 2, same. 9am to 6pm. But overall, first month went okay.
Comes in the second month and I started getting called in at work on Saturdays because "the client needs the entire project finished by March (it still is going on)"
I complied.
Started getting calls after reaching home that xyz needs to be handed over tomorrow so if i could work overnight.
I complied.
So now, I was working 6 days week, and overnight (till 3-4am) every week for next 2 months.
So my work-stats have been -
6 days a week
9am - 7pm (and 11pm - 3/4am)
No increment in compensation.
All this aside, we had 1 more full timer guy working alongside and he was kicked out in July for being ineffecient (because i was building more at much lower salary). So july onwards, I am the only one working and he has been relient on me for everything.
Coming back, comes my college exams and I ask not to work 20 days and told I won't be taking any salary for the 20 days. He agreed.
Guess what happens? I get called after each and every exam if I can give 4-5 hours to the project before I start studying for the next exam. And i wasn't paid for it.
On my return after exams, i was offered a one-time bonus of INR 30,000 ($430) for the amount of time and effort I have put in (it's 6 months working now)
Since it's my college breaks, i get called on Sundays to office now and been working 7 days a week. At this point, i started getting irritated and giving excuses that I am sick or blah blah so I want a day off.
Comes the month of August, I tell my boss that it's my final year of college and that he should get a new person as I'm getting tired and need to focus on studies. I get a mild "okay, will see" from him.
This goes on the entire August, September and October. October end, I've my college mid-sem exams going on and I get 30 calls a day from him and his assistant that something broke needs to be fixed. I had told him I won't work no matter what during exams but this is how I'm being treated. And finally, i submitted my resignation on November 2nd.
I get called and he starts crying (not literally but trying to manipulate me by saying kind words and motivating me to work for him for just a couple of month). I being the nice guy who couldn't say no for an answer just complied and went back.
The moment I stepped in, i felt the same old feeling. Like I was a slave in the prison. Things went the same entire November.
Since I didn't work for 10 days in October and 10 days due to festivals and exams in November, I get a combined salary of 1 month (15k) for the 2 months (Oct/Nov).
Come December, my sister's marriage was fixed and announced. Plus, I had my end-semester exams so I told him I won't work for 20 days in december. Guess what happens? If you can't, i get called between exams to work again. What's more, listen to his plans. So we have exams with 1 day gap in between. So if one exam is on 1st, other would be on 3rd.
So his plan? "Study for your exam after you come back giving one and come to office the next day." What this means? If I've given an exam on 1st, i study for the next at night of the 1st and go to office on 2nd and give exam on 3rd.
If you haven't noticed, i never got a single day's time during the semester to study so i used to study a day before exam. Plus, I'm pursuing engineering so it's not an easy course.
I've omitted so many things in between that I now realize and need you guys to know. He claims to have supported me and allowed me to attend college whenever I said I had to.
What this means is, whenever there was some work in college, i had told him a day or two prior and he would always allow me to. But his response has always been like "oh shit, i had planned for us to achieve this this and this. Can't you skip? Or can you come after college. No? Then work overnight and get this done. We're nearing our deadline and need to deliver ASAP."
Now, as mentioned somewhere above. My sister's marriage was announced and we have this ceremony (not engagement) where both the family claims to like each other, exchange gifts and kind-off promise to let their child marry (roka ceremony).
This ceremony was in between my exams in december. So it was like, I had an exam on 11th, 12th was this ceremony, 13th another exam.
During the exams, I don't stay at home so my parents had no clue that I was working/getting called to work during exams as well. But he called me 10 times on the ceremony day and my dad got to know and talked to him. My boss told my dad that it's just 2 days of work left, my dad asked me if it was and we agreed to finishing his last requirement. I worked 10am - 4am non stop for 2 days to pull off a lot of work.
Aaand, he got another reason to want me. As soon as my exams ended, I get called again and again to be at office because if I work like this for just 10 more days, we'll be done with the project and he will let me leave.
This is true, it's only 10 days of work if I work 18 hours a day, but let's do some review.
1) I've been working at 15k inr ($215) a day for 6 days a week. Have worked at least 10 Sundays.
2) I've been telling him to get a new guy since End July/Early August.
3) I submitted my resignation 1.5 months back that had immediate resignation.
4) I haven't met any of my friends or been out anywhere. If i had a plan, "boss, i want 7 days off, i wish to go out with my friends to xyz place. I've been working hard and need a mental break." His response has always been "it's just a matter of a month at most, just finish this up, and you and me can enjoy out vacations. So delay your plans this time"
5) I have worked in between my exams
6) My last year has been - Work, exams and work, college and work. Basically anything and work.
When I submitted my resignation, I started ignoring him and did not deliver an application that they wanted and he had the first let-down from me (part of the reason why I got 1 month's salary for Oct/Nov)
At this point, i told him that I'll finish the remaining bits but won't start anything new to which he agreed. And later, (mid Nov) he comes to me and says "dude, the client needs this app before beginning of Dec, I don't have any other developer so you've to do this." I wasn't given an option if I wish to take up this work, I was ordered that I've to do this work when i had clearly told i won't start a new app, because it'll hinder my exams and I don't want any pressure at that time.
I know this is going all over the place, but I'm just typing out as things are coming to my mind.
So, now my exams ended on 24th Dec, and I get called to office on 24th. I refused so he asked for 25th. I reminded him of Christmas and he was like "we can work and celebrate together." I refused and then it become 26th.
End of day, Christmas. Me and my girlfriend broke up. It's a story for another time, but she was the only one (other than my family and 1 friend) who had supported me all this time. Now that she's gone, i told my boss that I'm not in a mentally right state and wouldn't work for sometime.
And what I get told? "This is the final leg, we do this and we both have a break. I respect your fatigue but do respect my image and commitment. Just work like you did on those 2 days (10am to 4am) and we'll be done in 2 weeks. We're just left with a,b,c,d application and I estimate the following timelines
A - 2 days
B - 4 days
C - 3.5 days
D - 4.5 days
Do it last time and we will have a long break."
There is some truth and some lies here. The lies are all his estimations. All his estimations are so pointless. "It's just doing this and this, make a table and store data and show here. Should be done in an hour."
Anyway, now I'm seriously tired and have gone to fuck you mode. I've started disconnecting his calls (i used to let them ring earlier and later tell him that I wasn't near my phone) so that he knows I'm not entertaining his requests. I've told him that I WILL NOT work a single day. I am mentally so frustrated that I just wont.
So, am I the asshole for completely letting him on his own in this final leg? Should I go back and help him finish the project? I just want to say that I don't want to work. I feel depressed working for him now. I've burnt out.
Add-on: I usually sleep late, so I wake up late (10am minimum) and he knows. So, to get me to office early, he would ask his assistant to call me until I pickup my phone starting 7.30am. I always message him before I sleep with the update of the work and the time (which is always after 3am).
No matter how deep my sleep is, i always wake up from my phone vibrating, so I've had so many half-sleeps. And his assistant would call me 20 times. I would wake up, curse everyone, mute the call, try to sleep for 20 times every morning.
I mean, fuck off. Fuck. Off.
I don't want to work with him, no matter how much money I need.
I wish to post some chat screenshots. I'll see if i get the option to. Have a good day, and let me know how I should proceed. And if you've made it so far, thank you for listening to me. I love you random human.
Tl:dr -
I've worked for my boss for almost an year now on the terms
5 days week, flexible timing an | HISTORICAL | {
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KGyuX3wriM581saT5PeZov4t10njLydO | az05na | {
"description": "being upset that my wife intentionally let my sister-in-law see me naked",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 75
} | AITA for being upset that my wife intentionally let my sister-in-law see me naked? |
This is a very long story so I will try my best to make this as concise as possible.
1. My wife (21F), her sister (18F), and I (23M) had plans to go see a movie tonight.
2. My wife and I slept in and got up last minute to get dressed for the movie.
3. My wife went to use the bathroom to take care of the monthly hygiene (she got her period today) while I made the bed and picked out some clothes.
4. I went to the bathroom to take care of my hygiene and found my wife on the toilet attempting to clean her newly blood-stained pajama pants; as I walked in she told me to get out while she finished cleaning.
5. I continued into the bathroom and thought nothing of her being in there taking care of what she had to (my wife insisted in the beginning of our marriage that we should be comfortable with both of us being in there at any time).
6. As I got ready she continued to tell me to get out so I told her that she should use the guest restroom to clean her clothes; shortly after that she stormed out, soiled pants in-hand.
7. I undressed and thought nothing of her storming out, hoping she would cool down by the time we had to leave.
8. My wife finished cleaning up and getting dressed fairly quickly and walked past the wide-open bathroom door (which is right beside the front door of the house) muttering that I should close the door or "they" would see me naked. I thought nothing of this and did not close the door as we live near a high-traffic area and figured she meant cars passing by may see me naked as she opened and closed the door to get out.
9. My wife came back inside, shut the door behind her, and walked past the bathroom.
10. I hear her walking around but pay no mind as I am focusing on getting ready ASAP.
11. I hear the door open and figure my wife has walked outside once again, but I am caught completely by surprise when I hear my SIL's voice (I did not know she was getting dropped off instead of us picking her up) then see her through the bathroom mirror which can easily be seen once you walk into the house.
12. I realize my SIL has a direct view to my butt-naked backside and my front through the large mirror.
13. I immediately become as embarrassed as I ever have and hear my wife cracking up while my SIL embarrassingly states that she did not see anything.
I became very upset as my wife stated that she intentionally left the door open and was hoping my SIL would see me naked so I could see how it felt (her words). My wife was laughing and found the whole thing hilarious until I cancelled the movie reservations. Soon after I made the cancellation she became very emotional and began to cry and call me a some very cruel things. I've become accustomed to her calling me names when she is angry but I became more upset when she began to recite her latest trend of saying she wishes she had listened to other people, had never met me, fell in love, or married me.
She said she wanted an apology or would leave to her mom's.
She left.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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uwXSmzormfnv53i8fzyqWCSDlKUVkRpY | ao9kaj | {
"description": "being upset that the girl I'm seeing cancelled a coffee date because of her ex",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being upset that the girl(26F) I'm(30M) seeing cancelled a coffee date because of her ex? | I'm seeing this girl and her ex is staying at her place until Sunday and she and I had a coffee date planned for this afternoon and all of a sudden I get a text that says: "I can't do this today. I'm sorry. I need to go home."
This is the conversation that follows. I'll be M and she will be S.
Me: Okay. What happened
Her: It is a combination of things
Me: What? Will you call me?
(I call her and she doesn't pick up)
Her: Later
Me: Okay
Me: Can you just tell me what's going on?
Her: [My name]. I just got off work. Our systems were down and I checked someone into a dirty room. [Her ex's name] is being emotional. Please just GIVE ME A SECOND.
Me: Okay sorry.
I was just concerned and bummed that she cancelled and wanted to know what was going on. And then I find out that part of the reason she's cancelling is because of her ex? I'm annoyed.
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
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dNnbrz5UU9mdE9LPdRGsBFI67tGMniaR | b5jr1q | {
"description": "dating two girls I work with",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA For Dating Two Girls I Work With? | The title sounds awful, but hear me out. I didn’t date these girls at the same time.
So I dated my ex, Leah, for just under two years. We work together in a very large facility. I fell hard for Leah and we had a great relationship. Leah and I shared many mutual friends and originally met outside of work at a social outing. We were friends for quite some time before she finally agreed to let me take her on a date. She’s cute and easy to get along with. Truly had a heart of gold. Everyone in the office enjoys Leah’s presence.
Anyways, about 6 months into our relationship a new girl, Megan, started at our company. Megan is supermodel pretty. She’s fun, outgoing, loud, and all around exciting. Megan soon joined our little social group of work friends that Leah was also in. We all got along well.
Things started to take a turn with Leah and I because she started to get jealous of my friendship with Megan. She didn’t like me having Megan as a close friend and would get annoyed when we would Snapchat or text outside of work. It was all harmless, friendly stuff. We never hung out outside of work when Leah wasn’t present unless it was at a work outing.
The lack of trust and jealousy from Leah drove me up a wall. As much as I loved Leah, I knew things couldn’t work out with us romantically so I ended things with her. She was heartbroken, but kept her distance. A short time later I started hanging out with Megan outside of work and really fell hard. I mean this girl is my dream girl! Everything about her is just so exciting and new, and I love that. Leah ended up finding out about Megan and I over social media and was devastated. But that’s what happens when relationships end, you move on.
Now Leah avoids me at all costs and won’t even consider being friends. On the rare occasion that we cross paths she doesn’t say anything more than a passing ‘hi’. She also stopped coming to all of our coworker outings and lunches.
So reddit, AITA for following my heart and dating a coworker after a failed relationship with another coworker? Or is Leah being immature about the situation? | HISTORICAL | {
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y0NdK62RJ42voOhmPC1tcVDALkr4fDjk | avhl7k | {
"description": "wanting to buy a $60 game and my friend freaking out how it's a bad investment",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | Aita for wanting to buy a $60 game and my friend freaking out how it’s a bad investment? | I know this post is very petty but he keeps yell at me how there are many other games that are better and cheaper then the game I want (it’s BO4 and I know call of duty blah blah blah). He is calling me stupid and dumb just because I want to buy a game he thinks isn’t worth $60. It’s my money and Really wanna try it. Aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qnJf6gbqXeGsAxGWPkUiycSZ1sfMO8NQ | a0v21x | {
"description": "'exposing' ex-girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for ‘exposing’ ex-girlfriend | Sorry for the poor formatting.
So recently I broke up with a girl after dating for a couple months, it just didn’t really work out, yada yada the usual. However, a couple days after I found out she lied about a situation with her and another guy (approx month and a half before breaking up) where she got with another guy. I knew that they had hung out and slept together, head to toe allegedly (which I reluctantly said was fine). Now, I had found out more than happened. Obviously I reacted by asking her to which she still lied. But here’s the kicker, she some how found out that I posted our messages on a private snapchat story which only my close friends are on, and she got extremely mad. Telling me that I just have it out for her and that I’m trying to ruin her social life. Am I the asshole for reacting on impulse and telling a few friends what she did? To this day she refuses to speak to me, until I apologise to her for ‘acting like that’. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
0zB3kI3xGNQVufHyBxPrf7TdLYuqbvDO | aq3x5m | {
"description": "telling my roommate to stop using my stuff",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if i told my roommate to stop using my stuff | I live with one other person that I’ve lived with for the past two years. She and I lived in the same dorm for a year, not roommates, and then in the same apartment for two years in separate rooms.
Before this year, we discussed getting our own dishes but decided to go in communally on things like pots, pans and large utensils such as spatulas and ladles. However, I ended up bringing everything. But I don’t mind her using my pots, pans, etc., because those are agreed upon as shared.
However, although she brought her own plates, bowls and utensils, I frequently come home to see her using mine, which are nicer, even though we agreed to bring and use our own. I didn’t say anything, because they’re just dishes and she always washes them.
But the other day, I came home and saw her eating using my condiments. Now, if she used, say, a little bit of ketchup, I wouldn’t mind, but these are soy sauce and sesame oil I went specifically to the Asian market to get. She never asked if I could use them, and then didn’t put the soy sauce back into the refrigerator after she used it. Also, some of my snacks went missing from the pantry a week ago, and I was puzzled, and then I saw it reappear earlier tonight on her shelf.
I feel like these are such tiny things that aren’t worth mentioning, and I would gladly let her use it if she asked, but since I’ve let her go months without saying anything I feel like it’s rude to bring it up now.
So, WIBTA if I asked her not to use my stuff?
TLDR; roommate has been using utensils that we didn’t agree to share & has been using my condiments without asking. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FG0SPWL7egy6RRDb6exC8CvNxfOV8L9i | ac1v2j | {
"description": "asking a friend if she misread this situation",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for asking a friend if she misread this situation? | A friend told me she was walking down the street with 3 female friends when a man came walking towards to them with a menacing face. The man walked away when he saw they were with her boyfriend. She is convinced he had bad intentions. I asked if she had considered that maybe the man was born with an unfortunate face and she had misread the situation. We were talking about the incident since nothing happened, I said I liked considering all possible angles and that this was one of them. She said the question is inappropriate because she felt vulnerable during the situation. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
5uAGHuQoZAF0zhDfdmUHTuR3csYW0JUy | b9lnko | {
"description": "shouting at some kid across the field at our local beach to stop harassing the wildlife",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for shouting at some kid across the field at our local beach to stop harassing the wildlife? | Long story short I saw a couple kids chasing and spooking a group of Canadian geese. For those who aren’t familiar, these birds are no joke. At least the size of my toddler. I saw a daycare was playing at the park and when I saw them chasing down the birds my instant reaction was “hey don’t do that! That’s not very nice!” The first boy reacted well and told the others to stop too. I felt a little guilty so my reaction was to make sure they knew that the birds were dangerous and this was their safe place and home. It still wasn’t my kid to boss around though... so what do you think, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
iNxDiBtgyKK1IuJFJnBLUyDbdYuDqNjJ | 9wserr | {
"description": "calling my course mate out on taking items to giveaway at a networking event that they didn't design and barely contributed towards",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA For calling my course mate out on taking items to giveaway at a networking event that they didn't design and barely contributed towards | For a small part of our commerce unit at college, my course mate and I decided to sell some paraphernalia with custom designs on. I spent a good while on the designs and we paid it half and half to get them made them however they barely put any effort into the project by way of selling the damn things so a bunch remained.
Roll round to today and I notice they have been getting a bunch of social media traffic related to them giving the items away to people at this event. Maybe I would feel differently had they actually put some damn effort in or even asked, but something rubs me the wrong way about them feeling entitled to use my hard work as a way to further their own contacts especially without even giving me credit.
Would I be the asshole for calling them out on doing this? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bg1amlU2Q3Lzt8KDeVmrLDoIPYKqwQ2P | b8sfd1 | {
"description": "not changing the schedule for someone who requested time off too late",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not changing the schedule for someone who requested time off too late? | So I’m a supervisor for a specific department at my job and post the schedule for that department monthly. The rule is if you want to request time off for the next month, you have to request it by the 15th of the current month. So for April’s schedule, time off requests needed to be made by March 15th.
Someone in the department requested time off for May 3rd (which posted with the last week of April) on March 27th - a week and a half after the schedule posted. Once the schedule is up, it’s up to that person to get their shift traded and both parties must notify me to confirm the change. Now I keep getting messages asking me if there’s any way to just put someone else on, or just to take her off completely. I could just take that person off because they are a mid-shift and there to help the staff on our busy shifts... BUT that would leave the night shift person without help and we get SLAMMED on the weekends. She did find someone willing to take her shift but if that happens, she would still have to trade a shift with that person which she is unwilling to do. I also changed the hours of the shift for her to come in and get out earlier, but it still does not work for her... so now I’m not budging. She will just have to work. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
ujWUTV629i4wgcYwSlb0QA9NwhhoyVeZ | b2cew7 | {
"description": "not making my sister feel welcome staying at my place",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not making my sister feel welcome staying at my place? | So, my sister lives about three hours away from me. I live in the city and she lives in more of a small town where we grew up. Anyway, she texted me Friday afternoon asking if it was okay if she (and her bf) stayed the night at my place since they were coming to an event in the city. I said sure, I didn’t mind the short notice, but I told her that I was having friends over and we’d probably be staying up late. She said it wouldn’t be a problem since they’d be out late too.
A couple hours later, I head out to dinner with my friends and text her asking when she thinks she’ll be coming by. She responds, “idk lol.” I asked her if she knew if I’d be before or after midnight. She still didn’t know. I asked her if they were going anywhere after the event (a boxing match) and she said probably to dinner and that she’d let me know.
My friends and I finish dinner and head back to my place to watch a movie. At around 11, she texts me saying they’re eating. I see the message and think “alright cool; she’ll be home soon.” She’s not home soon. My friends leave and, annoyed that she didn’t even give me an estimate of when she’d be home, I decide to just go to bed, figuring either my phone or dog would wake me up if she showed.
I spend the night constantly checking my phone and nothing. The next morning I wake up to a text from my mom asking when she ended up arriving at my place and i tell her she never did. My mom texts in our family group chat asking where she’s at and she responds saying that her and her bf decided to drive back home instead of staying.
This annoyed me even more. She didn’t have the courtesy to tell me she was driving back home and not to worry or stay up. To make matters worse, my mom texted me after saying that she probably didn’t stop because she didn’t feel welcome because I didn’t text her and ask where she was.
Am I the asshole for not checking up on her during the night and making her feel “unwelcome” ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yVnuTZ6B9053Gadh0OFeHINqLcOxREwr | b7qhs2 | {
"description": "giving my family doctor attitude",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA For giving my family doctor attitude? | Two days ago my parents had a routine doctors appointment and they don't speak fluent English so I tag along to help translate between them and the doctor(he speaks the same language but only understand/say a few works). We meet him and shake hands (just something that we do) and asks basic questions such as "how is everything" +++. He asked if my mother is on the transplant list and I told him yup and that shes been gaining weight still (she was 100lb about half a year ago and now is around 122lb) he claps and says that great and says getting to 150 would be perfect. My mother replies with "oh i don't want to be too fat" (jokingly) he then says well its either get fat or death (referring to surviving the transplant) then i tell him about her knee pains and again he says 3-5 times to translate and say "It's either knee pains or death". I also ask if it would be alright to see the dermatologist about a few white heads that were showing on her face that are starting to cause a bit of pain he replies "I mean sure you can but they're not gonna do anything haha but sure go for it".
At this point it feels a bit strange but I thought he was joking so I thought nothing really of it then it was my father's turn. Same basic questions then asks my dad about what meds he takes then i tried to say something but he says "25 years of this and it's funny how patients come and say what medications they're taking and it doesn't match up with my system" I took a bit of flack of this because I refill and get my parents medication and it can be a confusing process sometimes. As hes looking through my father asks if he can get a refill for a cream he uses and the doc hears the broken english and says "I already sent one on the 19th(this month)" then starts to question me about it. I explain that he got it but needed a refill for the creme for the next few months then he says "there's a specific reason on why i didn't i don't know how much he uses" but with all of this he says in a condescending tone (he's done this plenty of times before) and add the tone with the comments to my mother I got a bit irritated put my phone down and expressed a bit of an annoyed sigh.
This is where it turns, he says "okay first off, the reason on why i'm not giving you the refill is because it's a steroid and using it too often can cause a disease and that becomes my problem and my fault and frankly your attitude is disgusting". I was a caught half way, I was annoyed but also I bit taken aback I didn't insult the guy or say hes doing a poor job just a sigh which then I was wondering "was my sigh that . He continues to say things in the same tone about the cream especially till the point I just let out another sigh which he goes "wow okay" and takes his folders and walks away. Also his face was blood red, and his hands wouldn't stop shaking. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
de4xzkNXsfcLglDA0iJjhoF2FQPu2QbX | b80h2c | {
"description": "getting mad at a \"friend\" guilt tripping me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for getting mad at a "friend" guilt tripping me? | Tl;dr at bottom
So earlier tonight, my friend and I had a falling out of sorts. Hes pretty down on his luck, 22, living with his shitty dad and senile/abusive grandmother and I would give him rides around, hang out with him, give him money and food and pay for a bunch of stuff and I would consider myself pretty friendly with him. Long story short, he doesn't have a place to stay, spam called/texted me asking for help (I was asleep) then got pissed when I didnt respond and said that I dont care about him. I woke up and of course, I was mad, so I told him to apologize or I would block all contact with him and sever ties with him. He essentially ignored me and didnt respond at all after having responded immediately previously, so I said "you have x amount of time to apologize". After that, he tried to call me a couple times, but I was at work so of course I couldn't answer. After I tell him this, he says, verbatim, "stop messaging me. if you dont youd better believe i will walk my happy ass to the courthouse and file an adjunction against harassment against you." I message a couple more times, wanting to give him more of a chance to rationalize and apologize, but he just said "go f*ck yourself you c*ck baby. see you in court" (minus censors of course) and stopped replying, so i blocked him. I don't feel good about this situation at all but I also dont feel like I was the asshole.
Tl;dr - My friend and i got into an argument, and he is now threatening legal action over text messages. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
W9Z6r0nNb6JZYGzaHEx9Qr3vSjJgsDcb | ar1kwd | {
"description": "reporting classmate for plagiarizing my work",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for reporting classmate for plagiarizing my work? | I go to an online high school. For my English course, we had a creative assignment to make the front page of a newspaper based on the time period of the class novel we were reading. We were encouraged to make up our own details and had the option to use made-up events, real events or events that were in the novel. I based mine on a event based on the novel and finished it a couple days before the due date and submitted mine to an online discussion board as instructed by the teacher. A few days later, I looked over my classmates work. One classmate, who had submitted a few days after mine, had a really similar newspaper to mine.
We had similar newspaper titles, we had the same article headline, we had the same "publication date", we had similar journalist's names, we had the same details included in the article (including both sharing a quote that I had made up that was not in the book), and we both included a similar picture to accompany the article. Some things are rather insignificant as they are generic (journalist's names being John Smith vs John Snow), but when combined with the more suspicious evidence (Him using the same made up quote, both dates being same, article details being the same) it leaves me to believe that the classmate stole pieces of my work to avoid having to scour the actual book for details.
I feel upset because I feel as though this student based his article off of mine and used my intellectual property to avoid having to put in the same amount of effort that the rest of us did. His work is also littered with spelling errors except in the areas where I suspect he copied my work.
However, it was a pretty small assignment that wasn't very difficult to make. In the grand scheme of things it unlikely to mean anything. I don't know if I should try to interfere with my classmates grades because he might have copied me. I suppose it's possible that it could be chalked up to a series of coincidences.
WIBTA for reporting this to the teacher or should I just leave it alone since it's unlikely to directly affect me? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
xjI4SiI2OJQ3N50nhLl95irKjINZ4An3 | amrp8r | {
"description": "wanting to ban my best friend out of anything in my life having to do with my boyfriend and his friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for wanting to ban my best friend out of anything in my life having to do with my boyfriend and his friends? | Since my best friend kinda brought us together, she knew everything happening between me and my boyfriend. When I introduced them, they got along really well what I appreciate since you want your boyfriend to like your best friend and the other way around.
So, my boyfriend has an entirely different friend group than me and my best friend and he takes me to a lot of parties of his friends. He also invited my best friend to come and I even motivated her to come and stay at my house with my bf and me for that night.
That evening was a Desaster for me. My bf loves me and couldn’t stop telling me how much he loves and appreciates me that night, but at the same time, it bothered me so much that he repeatedly told me how GREAT my best friend is. “Yeah she’s great, she should stay all of the next day, come sit on my lap, come hold my hand, you can sleep with us in a bed” etc. He’s a pretty touchy person (especially high) and I don’t have a problem with that, but holding hands with my best friend he does barely know Is just so wrong and I told him that, what he understood and promised he won’t do again. She, on the other hand, did nothing about, how it seemed.
I regret that I tried, or more I felt obligated to integrate my best friend into my bf’s life, because, yes, I may be a bit jealous and also feel threatened by how she straight up manipulates people to see only the best in her, because me as her best friend knows that she also has dark sides.
I tried to talk with her about that i don’t like her so excessively trying squeeze into this hole group and between, or more like into our relationship, but every time I try to talk with her about something that bothers me personally about her or just about the way I FEEL about something (which I can’t help), she just takes my arguments, turns them 180 degrees and suddenly it’s all my fault and she manipulates ME into feeling guilty about not trusting her, being mean to her, not appreciating her love for me etc. Since that, I want to confront her but at the same time feel guilty confronting her, especially because she brings up her mental illness (depression) as the reason for so much stuff she does, which I don’t see as an excuse not being able to listen a friend who wants to share a problem.
Since me and my bf haven’t dated long yet and it’s my first real relationship where I actually feel loved and also love back, I may feel threatened by my best friend just hopping into the situation. But are my arguments valid here? Or am I over reacting because it’s just a new situation for me. And I know it may seem like my bf isn’t trustworthy or something, but believe me, he can’t stop talking about me to his friends and family, they always tell me and it’s really cute. I just want to solve this, because it’s not me vs my best friend, but us against the problem, and I still love her as well. I’ve already tried to talk about it with my bf, but he kinda doesn’t understand my point.
__________________________________________
Best friends is getting close with my boyfriend and is jealous for him being now my priority, so I started confronting her but she turns it seeming like it’s all my fault and making me feel guilty. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
zadzXEBqIR33mWsOf9JM0nOgcIZ0TbKz | ayu28m | {
"description": "telling a long term BP that her products no longer work for me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling a long term BP that her products no longer work for me? | So I buy hair / body products from ETSY. I found a product that works for me and over the last 8yrs developed a great buyer/ seller relationship with the owner. Recently my hair responded diff to her products and in an effort to see if it was my hair that was different or the products I asked her personally via email if the formula changed as it felt less moisturizing on my hair and the consistency was different from before. I also asked on a forum catered to green hair care that has a thread dedicated to her hair products if anyone else noticed a difference.
​
There was also the issue that I had placed an order that was supposed to be delivered in two weeks but she was delayed due to ingredient availability. As the weeks went by I asked for an update maybe once or twice. Well my sister and I also use her products. The last order I placed was for us both. Also the forum I asked the question is a paid subscription so my sister will use my account to look for reviews / products. My sister made a short comment saying how she was waiting for her order and was saddened it was taking so long and has had no updates.This in part is my fault because I had been in contact with the seller but had not updated her.
​
The seller read the comment and took that as me bashing her and refunded me the order that we had been waiting almost a month for and said she doesn’t understand why I would post that I had not received an update and brought up that I posted a question saying that one of her products no longer worked the same for my hair and if anyone else noticed a difference. She said I was bad for her business. She also said my comment about consistency was upsetting as I had priorly I asked her if I could return the two products cause scent gave me headaches and made my nose run and itch like mad. She at the time said it was no problem and she would send a replacement in another scent. She said she was upset that I would mention the slip and moisture not working for my hair even after she sent replacements. I was confused at that comment because I asked for the replacement due to scent not because of my hairs reaction to the product. I never mentioned scent on the forum.
​
I emailed her back and stated I had no idea what she was talking about and if she was looking at the right user comments. I then logged into my account and saw my sis comment and quickly emailed her apologizing profusely and explaining what happened. I then edited the comment and explained this to anyone else who might have seen it and that she in fact had been in contact.
​
Over the past 8 years when she has expressed how she’s a single mom working to maintain her expanding business and the struggles that come with it I have encouraged and built her up. I have always been kind and understanding and feel so shocked that she would come at me with such vitriol. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
zRNdu8Zr5B9zoUdB189bnjf5xhxqAZva | a7hu7h | {
"description": "not remembering names",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not remembering names? | Whenever I meet someone new, I always try to be super nice and introduce myself. However, when I shake their hand and we exchange names, I always find myself forgetting their name seconds after they told me. I am not trying to be rude, but it happens so often that I am beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with me.
For example, last week I was playing doubles tennis with a new partner. I walked up to her and smiled. I stuck my hand out and told her my name. She shook it and told me hers. About 5 seconds later, my stomach dropped when I realized I had done it again. I forgot to listen to what her name was. I heard it obviously, but I just did not put in any effort to remember it,
So, even if I am not doing this on purpose, am I still the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
w09Z98P1DTaqRC9MatFMB95KW2YrP0tR | ba5eue | null | AITA if I talk to my 18 yo brother about age of consent against my mothers wishes? | My brother is 18. He has a 15 year old girlfriend. Age of consent where he lives is 16. They are both in highschool, he is a senior, she is a junior.
To my knowledge, he is still a virgin. He does know the basics about sexual health, pregnancy, prevention, and STD prevention. Another thing my mother and I butt heads about but she gave in on that one.
My mother refused to talk to him about the fact that if they were to engage in a sexual relationship, it would be illegal in my home state. She said he is innocent and he's not sexually active. It wasn't necessary. I implored her to change her mind because things can progress very quickly and he needed to know.
Last night I called my brother and discussed it with him myself. I didnt try to scare him, just gave him facts. He also told me they haven't done anything yet. I told him that if sex was something they are considering, they should wait until after her birthday in 3 months. I told him that sex can happen at their own pace when they are ready. I also mentioned was not for or against him having sex, only that I wanted him to wait until he wouldn't get in trouble.
I tried really hard to give a respectful but informative talk. My mother is pissed that I talked to him about it when she told me no.
AITA for wanting my brother to be informed and safe? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 41,
"OTHER": 667,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 20,
"INFO": 11
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 687,
"WRONG": 46
} | RIGHT |
TTQV8sQxmQeJkIBRnhsbYZqKlPiU3WeL | b7b5ey | {
"description": "leaving my family behind to take care of my elderly father",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for leaving my family behind to take care of my elderly father. | I've been with my girl for about 4 years. We have a 2yr old son. We live on the east coast. My grandfather (who raised me since I was a few months old because both my parents let's say had other priorities. You can guess what), he lives on the west coast. He moved about 4yrs ago from the east coast when his wife, my grandmother/mom passed away. Currently he's in a wheelchair and can barely do the basic needs of living(making food, getting a bath, etc). He currently gets free health care where he lives and would lose that if he moved back to the east coast, so that options out. He can either sell his house and move into a hospice or I can come love with him and take care of him till it's his time. The house sits on a 1/8 acre 4bd 2baths ranch(no steps) with a 2 car garage. If he doesn't have to sell the house he's gonna to leave the house to me. It's completely paid off. Only thing id have to worry about is taxes every year, and Electric + gas bill. Me and my girlfriend rent and both our credits are shit due to student loans so us being able to get a house on our own would be really ruff. I want to go out there. Take care of him till he passes. I do owe him that. He took me in when he didn't have to. He could have let my parents keep me but him and my gram took me in. They just got done raising 3 of there kids and got them outta the house when my mom had me and they seen what would happen if I stated with my parents. So he and her sacrificed so much to raised me properly. Also by honoring a debt I feel I owe him, I would secure a home for my family for generations to come. I could also rent it out and secure income for my family also, or sell it to buy a house back on the east coast to secure my families future. My girl feels what I'm doing no body else does. No body leaves their family behind to do this. I should let him move into a hospice and not move out there. She won't move out with me(the place is plenty big enough for all of us) because she can't leave her mother and also can't take her mom away from her first grandson. Which I get. So Reddit world. For my first post....am I an asshole or is my girl. Thanks for reading. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 2
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
zAiZgFXS1qjFxXb2HJvTi8Cnz6IhSfYy | azip33 | {
"description": "tipping my friend/roommate 16% when he was our waiter",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for tipping my friend/roommate 16% when he was our waiter | So, this happened on Friday night when my roommate "J" and I went to dinner at the restaurant where our other roommate and friend is a waiter. We got our roommate as our waiter, lets call him "E". The meal was good and everything seemed fine. We get the bill and tip him $9 on a $56 bill, which is 16%. "JC" and I didn't think much of the tip and thought it was perfectly reasonable.
​
30 minutes later, I get a text from "" saying "Did you really leave me a $9 tip on a $56 bill. Very confused, I asked what is wrong. "E" then responds, "Did you guys really tip your roommate and friend of 10 years 15%." J" and I were shocked and I never responded because I already had some drinks and didn't know what to say without escalating the situation.
​
"E" hasn't talked to us since Friday night, and has just sat in his room. I've tried to ask him if he wants to hang out or if he wants a beer, which he has responded with an angry "No!"
​
"E" also knows that I'm currently unemployed and that "J" makes barely anything doing research at a hospital, and is trying to save up as much money as possible before going to graduate school next year, which I think makes the whole situation 10X worse.
​
So are JC and I the assholes for tipping 16% to our roommate/friend waiter?
​
This took place in Boston, MA. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
Yyq9FrP7iUHMHmHwwxXi2cpb15ke3C6X | adyul4 | {
"description": "giving my ex-best friend the cold shoulder if they were to contact me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA if I gave my ex-best friend the cold shoulder if they were to contact me? | So, for background: I have always had trouble getting “close” friends. This has come from everyone I got close to growing up moving away due to their parent(s) got a new job, or wanted to be closer to work, and the like.
So, there is this guy, let’s call him “Greg” that I went to school with. He was the grade behind me and we met in high school (technically we went to Jr high together as well, but simply didn’t cross paths). We met in my jr year, while working on a play but didn’t talk much. We had a class together my sr year. We butted heads a few times, but we ended the year on good terms. Flash forward a few years after Greg graduated he got sick and was hospitalized in a town a good distance away. I did not feel comfortable driving on icy highways to an area I had never been to before, and we weren’t close at the time, so I didn’t try to go see him, but kept in the loop since his mother’s Facebook account allowed ppl who went friends with her to message her.
After getting out of the hospital, Greg had to for reasons it’s not my place to disclose move back to our high school is in. We started hanging out a lot, and Greg proved himself time and time again to be a good friend.
There would be spans of time between our vastly different work schedules and Greg’s introversion that we would not be able to hang. Admittedly I have annoyed him by worrying about him during some of these periods, by asking mutual parties if they had heard anything from him.
One night, (around 3yrs ahi later this year) Greg texted me wanting to play a game on PlayStation after I got home from work. I told him I would. When I got home, he was logged into the game in question but didn’t connect with me.
A few months after that I hear from a mutual friend that Greg was an expectant father and based off of how far along the mother was when they announced it, and how much time had passed since the announcement, I concluded that he must have been told around the time he was planning to play a game w/me. Other than a fluke encounter anywhere from the mom being 7 mo pregnant to the baby was maybe a month old. That was the last time I have seen or heard from Greg. If he was to contact me and try to reconnect, WIBTA if I told Greg to fork off? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
IPxVNkFqSKyLT59aDcosf6iXpeOII8rj | b21rce | {
"description": "thinking a guy is trying too hard",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for thinking a guy is trying too hard? | I met this guy and weve gone on a few dates now. He is really into me which is flattering and I enjoy our conversations, but Ive noticed that he agrees with EVERYTHING I say. Whether its ice cream flavors, hobbies or life views. He'll sometimes express a personal interest and if I have a dissimilar interest he will later change his story. One example is he said he loves pop music and I said i listen to a lot of rap, so all he did later that day on our date was talk about how much he likes rap and if I like rap.
Another thing is that it's been two weeks and he tells me how much he loves me and how his life would be over if we didnt work out. He frequently tries to make out with me, to the point where I literally had to push him away because I am not a huge PDA person. Ive expressed my concerns to him and I feel like now hes just holding back how he really feels which in my opinion isnt genuine.
He is from another culture, and has explained that its different where he comes from and Im totally okay with that but told him I'm different and want to make sure he can be comfortable moving at my pace which he said yes but any chance he gets he tries to be overly affectionate and change his story if I dont respond the way he thinks I should. I literally had to tell him to stop and breathe because he was panicking when I said a casual, "thats excessive" to a story he told me and thought I was going to leave him. I feel like most women would die to have this kind of attention but I am turned off by how obsessed i feel he is with me.
Sorry for the lengthy post, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KV9vz3bQQAQ9Z175GkwQSF7a2hrfrPpw | 9z9kff | {
"description": "not wanting to call my girlfriend all the time",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to call my girlfriend all the time? | I love my girlfriend and we have been together for 8 months and going strong. Ever since we got together, we’ll call or FaceTime whenever we’re not together and I enjoyed it, for the first few months. After, it gets tiring because whenever I want to play my games and listen to music/want to hear the sounds in game she will want to call and I don’t want to disappoint her by not picking up. We’ve talked about this before and it lead to an argument about me getting bored with the relationship, but I definitely am NOT bored with it and I want us to last. She says she understands and it’s okay if I don’t want to call but whenever I try to imply I don’t want to at the moment, she’ll give an attitude which leads to me calling her. This is probably a really small issue, but there are days or moments where I want to play with my cousins and she calls instead. I want to repeat I do love her.
What do you guys think? Any advice or point of views welcome. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Bar86DOU9q5NuhhJ2MfrK1H6icpDCe1V | amrk8k | {
"description": "asking my friend to smoke with me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for asking my friend to smoke with me? | I used to have this friend who was a girl that was my best friend for around 2 years. We hung out like 2-3 times a week and always were doing something together, and these were some of the best years of my life. I am diagnosed with depression and I find one of the best things for my depression is smoking weed, which I have since stopped because of how dissociative I get when i’m sober. She has ADHD and is often depressed so I suggested one day I bring my wax pen and we smoke a little bit and see if she liked it. At first she was saying yeah that would be great it’ll help a lot but soon she got paranoid thinking her neighbors would get all upset and get her in trouble, to which I said wax has no smell and we could just smoke in her backyard. She just kept saying no and I just said okay, and this apparently was a big mistake.
We still hung out that day and had a lot of fun, she seemed unbothered by the conversation and was in a better mood than usual. After this day we didn’t hang out for a while, she stopped texting me and I never could tell why, but I just kinda shrugged it off thinking she was just busy.
Flash forward to another couple weeks when I finally thought to myself “she really must be mad at me” and she went on this long rant about how manipulative I am and how I can’t ever stay in my lane. Now mind you this is weeks after we hung out and she seemed fine, and all I wanted to do was try to help how she was feeling, and now she hates me. So am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
EarUIKPWlSPF2E35sWlJKVF5Jqza4t27 | ba7nq3 | {
"description": "telling my no because she wants to buy a 150$ Jersey",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA For telling my no because she wants to buy a 150$ Jersey | I'll try to explain this the best I can.. I'm not asking for $$ or for relationship advice. My gf currently lives with me. We pay a equal share of rent. She works part time, I work full time so I'm usually the one who pays for things when we go out. Tonight we where supposed to go to a sporting event. Yesterday she expressed she wanted to buy a 150$ Jersey she has always wanted. I thought it was a poor investment considering last month I had to pay a decent amount towards her part of rent because she made some poor financial choices. Money is sort of tight but we aren't going without. Also to mention I'm about to pay a bit of $$ for her birthday weekend coming up and Im buying the tickets to the sporting event(thankfully I hadn't yet). I thought long and hard about how I was going to approach this or if I should at all.. So I pick her up from work and the conversation goes exactly like this.
Her: hey can you take me to (some makeup store) to buy a few things
Me: yes, but do you need it or just want it? (She has more make up than my like 5 gfs combined)
Her: I want it.
Me: ok that's fine but I want to talk to you about tonight
Her: ok what's up.
Me: I dont think it would a good idea to buy the Jersey.
Her: Why not?
Me: it's just a poor investment, 150$ could go to alot of other stuff.
Her: are you telling me what to do?
Me: Yes I am (I never tell her what to do and I love telling her yes)
Her: what if I do it anyways?
Me: we wont go to the game. I will be mad and disappointed
Next 5 mins on the car ride home she is trying to explain to me that she has always wanted it and she rather not go to the game and instead get her the Jersey..
We get home
I kept my voice down I tried not let it turn into a argument but she said "well if I have to move out today then I guess I will". (I never told her she had to move out). I said do what you want and she then tried to switch it around on me by saying "now you want me to move out?" I explained every which way to her that it wasnt a good idea then she told me "maybe you should have approached me differently she had a bad day at work". Was I supposed to beg her not to? And before the car ride conversation I asked her how her day was and she said it was fine. I'm trying to think if I missed any points but that's pretty much it.. but as of now we arent going to the sporting event and she is still mad.
TLDR:My gf is mad because I told her "No" about buying a 150$ sports Jersey.
P.s I had to Google what TLDR ment I always see it at the bottom of stories and figured it was a summary when a story is long.. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
DF0K8oBqGtAZ71BLCSO6Z3Wngjyamqyx | b2opuv | {
"description": "denying a b-day gift they've always wanted because of the way they treated me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for denying a b-day gift they've always wanted because of the way they treated me? | I (male) proposed to him for prom by hiding a paper in a brand new backpack that I gifted him. (His backpack was old, worn, & falling apart) He straight up said no & kept the backpack. Later he decides he's ok with dating. Because he was poor I never expect him to buy me anything. His affection for me was enough to make me happy. His game controller broke so I gave him mine (ain't cheap, $60 at the time), his 3DS broke so I tried to fix it (I fixed boards) it was broken beyond my repair. His Dreamcast broke so I tried to fix it (damages were too much, it would be cheaper & faster to just buy a new one then try to get all the parts needed to fix it.)
I did all of that & he still treated me like crap, ungrateful for my attempt to help him. I just shrugged off his attitude as though he didn't understand the time & dedication I was willing to give him. We've hardly talk because he would be socially awkward so I would respect that. He would be embarrassed whenever we were together, especially in public.
Would constantly make fun of me to his friends behind my back. On social media, he would criticize my taste in music just to get a reaction out of me. He would ignore my messages for days & when we did talk he would go on about all the people he'd rather be dating if he was given the chance.
I'd invite him to parties, my b-day, & my graduation party, only for him to never show up saying he forgot he had something else to do. (even though I gave him weeks notice in advance)
Mutual breakup.
His b-day was coming & we're still communicating.
For the time in between, I agreed to continue helping him with his vid game. (I've been helping him with the code for 2 months prior & the game was looking good so far). I lend him my drawing tablet (a $600 device) so he can make the assets easier.
Days before his b-day. Gave him $30 steam stuff for games. Also bought him $40 t-high socks he's wanted. What I didn't give him yet was the last gift, a NEW 3DS XL. I already gave him all the other stuff but the Nintendo console, I wanted to give that to him in person.
B-day. Wants to cut me out of the game. Said I was being too pushy cuz I tell him he doesn't use my tablet. Hadn't even made a single asset. Said I was untrusted with his game, that I'd have no part in it. This tore me apart, I've been programming my ass off for 4 months straight (a time I could have used to work on my own game that I was developing prior). I must seem mature as it was his birthday so I formally told him that I thought the gifts I had already given him days before was enough from a friend, that I would respect his wish of working on the game depended from me, & that I would return the 3DS & get my money back.
Wait. Never told him I bought a new 3DS. Crap.
He's pissed off at me & asked why I'd mention the 3DS. I made a brief apology, he cuts all communications with me.
His place. Picked up my tablet. Locked eye contact & we both smiled as I walked away.
We haven't talked since. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6TYoKhQnWuNzLpLC80UGoe6JNnyCDyE9 | b22stu | {
"description": "telling a friend I didn't like the birthday gift she gave me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I told a friend I didn't like the birthday gift she gave me? | She asked what I wanted for my birthday and since my wallet was falling apart, I said I just wanted a small black wallet. She gave me an imitation gucci wallet but it's like, quality imitation, apparently made of real leather and she's said multiple times that it's expensive.
She's a student and I'm an unemployed fresh grad. I really didn't expect her to spend so much (I'm not sure how much but probably more than $100 at least?) and honestly I'm too broke to give her a present of equal value for her birthday so I kinda feel burdened. Also erm I dont care much for brands so idk it just feels weird carrying an imitation wallet around? Even if no one else knows.
When she gave it to me I said thank you and was very polite, didn't let on that I don't really like it. But idk is this something I should tell her so that in the future she doesn't get similar stuff for my birthday? Or should I set a budget beforehand or something so it doesn't come to this? Is there even a polite way of saying hey i know you spent a lot on this but I dont like it? This issue is bothering me quite a bit :/ | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
SvCR4HGcx7KyDLf6IrhXSxG9rvMo1CqC | aclcbe | {
"description": "wanting people to stop thanking me for my service in the military",
"pronormative_score": 52,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for wanting people to stop thanking me for my service in the military. | Ok if you are not from America, basically anytime someone finds out you were in the military, they say "thank you for your service".
I work Uber as a part-time job and during the course of small talk, the fact that I am a transplant to the city I live in comes up, with the follow-up of "what brought you here?" So when the inevitable reason comes up and they say the aforementioned phrase, I get annoyed.
For one, how do I even respond to that? "You're Welcome"? That point alone makes it awkward. Secondly, I was in the Navy and did not see any real combat. We took part in operations during Iraqi freedom but I was never in real danger. Third, I think it disrespects the sacrifice many veterans who gave their lives or suffer from PTSD due to their service. Finally, and most cynically, I feel people just say it because they feel forced and it is a political talking point to "respect and care for veterans".
So with that off my chest, please render your verdict. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 33,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 52,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
8IFrvVITvadwkYhA6eqAJUZIGDpSDz9Z | acez2x | {
"description": "doing nothing while my sister gets hit by my dad",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for doing nothing while my sister gets hit by my dad? | My sister (18 in college 8 hours drive away, winter break for her so she can meet us up again) and I (16 still in highschool) thought the Netflix movie called "Bandersnatch" was really good. My sister loved the movie, and I thought it was pretty amazing myself. We sort of hyped up the movie to the point where we got both of our parents to watch it. Both of my parents were uninterested from the start, but the part where Colin and Stefan used LSD was the last straw for my dad. Tensions have been rising from the start since my dad showed obvious uninterested and was sort of making fun by pretending to go to sleep and such, which struck a nerve for my sister. Now, he's mad at all of the elements of the movie, and sees the LSD, stress, suicide: and starts getting mad.
Ever since then, it progressed to the point where my sister got mad and went to her room. My dad ranted about all the elements in the movie and how there's no message. I stopped the movie before the choice where you either kill the dad or back off. He began being more angry and confronting me, where I tried to explain it to him with YouTube videos, and my take. I answered his questions on "what's the message?" and "why are you so interested in this?" and "as a dad, I see ____, how am I not supposed to be afraid?"
Now he's confronting my sister and began to be physical. My mom is trying to calm him down but isn't helping at all: she's just taking his side but trying to push my dad to be more moderate. I'm still downstairs however. This happens every once in a while, and it always ends with him getting what he wants, pushing his logic without listening to the rest of us.
Of course, I would be considered the asshole since I'm not doing anything to help. But, if I tried anything, I would get hurt and nothing would have changed. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
lHVIDudmceahReaT1ltUNLvtLW5wpXDT | alvej2 | {
"description": "not entirely paying for my son's tuition",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 64
} | AITA for not entirely paying for my son's tuition? | Apologies for the title, I don't know the best way to summarize this.
My son is turning 18, and has been accepted into a university, and I'm very proud of him. He has received a few scholarships and grants, and has applied for loans as well. The issue is the loans, he's upset that he has to apply for them at all.
For some background, my husband and I have been separated for a few years now, although he still pays child support. I have sole custody of both my daughter (aged 14) and my son. For the past 3 years, my daughter has been attending a private school that costs about $10k a year. My son has never been happy about this - he complains that it is waste of money and that it's not fair, but when he graduated middle school, we did apply to a private high school, which he was accepted to. He refused to go because he said it was a waste of money and that he didn't want to hang out with "rich kids", but I think he just didn't want to be separated from his friends, so in my opinion it is fair, as he had the option to do the same as his sister.
Finances have never been a huge problem for us, but I cannot afford to both send my daughter to private school and pay for the bulk of my son's tuition. He worked a job over the summer and has received some scholarships, so I think it's fine to take out student loans, since he can keep getting scholarships. I will provide for money if he really needs it but I think this is also a good time for him to learn some financial independence.
My son is upset, and although I understand where he is coming from, I do not think it is unfair how I have treated my two children. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 62,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 8
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 64
} | WRONG |
KJRwbnYuEa54hBZAD1yVFEUGkYCR1fzI | azdz50 | {
"description": "telling the people in-front of me to put away their phones",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling the people in-front of me to put away their phones? | I bought really expensive tickets to a concert- Yanni to be exact. It wasn't a casual- loud party type of event where everyone films everything, but a quiet reserved and classy concert at a beautiful venue.
Well, because of the angle of the seats, the phones of the two people in front of me were really distracting. It's not like they were even taking photos or filming the concert (even though you were not supposed to) BUT THEY WERE watching a show with subtitles during Yanni's 25th concert tour!!!! I'm trying to watch and listen to a classical pianist and they were watching some crap on Netflix. (Note: The rest of their party was fine)
I asked them once nicely to put them away because the glowing screens were distracting. I was in 2nd row balcony, they were 1st. Nothing happened...so I pretty much cursed out these people the 2nd time around... "If you don't put the f\*\*\*\*\*\* phones away I'm going to throw them over the balcony....etc." Everytime they brought their phones back out to check a txt or the weather...whatever- I kicked the back of their seat.
I understand that's rude, but I had paid almost $300 for 2 tickets and they were sucky theatre-goers. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
c2MEw59EcWDN8Azxyld5Xdszf51Jxi4p | apk5m4 | {
"description": "blocking my depressed friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for blocking my depressed friend? | I typed this out once and accidentally hit delete so here's the abbreviated version of events. Darn these clumsy fingers.
We met in high school church camp. She's not my typical kind of friend. I was the goodie two shoes with straight As that didn't smoke or drink or have sex until I got married. She was the daughter of a single dad that didn't care what she did and she barely graduated high school. We would have fun hanging out in person though, so it was all good.
She got pregnant in her senior year of high school. It happens. I tried not to judge. We continued to hang out the next few years when I was going to college and she lived on her own with her son. We'd go to church together and I'd try and give her advice about relationships and other basic social cues and stuff since she seemed, mentally, a little bit off. For example, she'd repeat stuff a lot. Like, if I said I didn't like chocolate, she'd bring it up over and over. As if she had memory loss. It was weird. But she functioned normally for the most part so whatever.
Then she got pregnant again. I was so confused. I didn't think she was dating anyone. Turns out she was having sex with this 50 year old guy from her work. Like...what? It was totally consensual and she didn't think it was weird at all. They weren't in love or actually pursuing a relationship, just casual sex without protection? I thought I was helping her be a wise adult... Our friendship kind of faded from that point on. I later found on facebook that she gave up that baby for adoption.
Fast forward to a few months ago. I've since graduated from college and got married and life is going pretty well. She finds me on Facebook and we start talking again. I'm excited to catch up and be friends again, but then conversation got weird. Here's an example of the stuff she'd text me about. Grammar and all.
Her: im so depressed
Me: How come?
Her: because of what my ex did
Me: What did he do?
Her: he took something from me
Me: What did he take? I need some details here if I'm going to help you.
Her: he took something I loved
Me: What are you talking about?
Her: Ill never be happy again
On and on and on. It was pulling teeth and I started to not care because it was just a game she was playing. I eventually got out of her that he forced her to get an abortion. Which is awful and extremely difficult to cope with and I want to help her, but she seems so stuck in her feelings to hear advice. It's very frustrating.
There's also several other annoying or strange things she does. She's bound and determined to get pregnant again to replace her lost children, but doesn't care who the guy is. She's even told me it hurts to have sex, which is extremely sad because it's not even just loving the act of sex, its just wanting to get pregnant again. But she is financially unstable and makes quick decisions all the time and she doesn't think about the possible consequences.
I've also talked her out of suicide multiple times. I've sent her phone numbers to help. I tell her her son needs her. I remind her that things do get better. She just continues to deny anything I say. But then she complains to me about all the times people have called the cops on her because she told them suicidal things so often. It now seems to be more of an attention thing than a real cry for help.
She would also message me all the time. Multiple times a day. Just weird or complaining stuff. My favorite is "do dreams come true"....like... what? It was rare for her to ask me about my life. I would even just ignore her for days but it wouldn't stop. It's like she thought it was totally normal for her to keep giving me weird updates all the time without a response. I started to think she didn't want a real friend to respond or help at all, she just wanted a virtual diary. I became sick of seeing these messages all the time and I blocked her.
Then she became very manipulative. She made another Facebook page to message me again. Begging me to unblock her because i'm her only friend and that she'd be better about telling me happy things. (I had actually blocked her and unblocked her once by this point) I told her I needed a break and that she didn't seem to want any real help. So I blocked her new account. This happened 5 more times. She made a total of SEVEN other accounts to continue messaging me. One message she threatened to kill herself if I didn't text her again. So I called the cops. I didn't want to be held liable for her suicide if she really meant it that time. An officer later called me and said she was fine and that he told her not to contact me again. She made one last Facebook page to complain to me that I called the cops on her and that i'm a fake Christian for not being her friend anymore.
I'm torn on if I did the right thing. It was a trivial reason to block her I guess, since it was just annoying, but this 'friendship' was very one-sided. And anytime I would try to give my advice she'd tell me it's just my opinion. And when I told her I thought trying to get pregnant again was unwise, she complained that I wasn't happy for her like a good friend would be. I just couldn't take it anymore. AITA?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Da2eCoTBm4E0fGGipZ4cfekCdtZUU8dK | aos5he | {
"description": "wanting revenge on my ex fiancé after elopes w someone else",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting revenge on my ex fiancé after elopes w someone else? | **UPDATE IN PETTY REVENGE**
he intercepted the envelope so I had to go with plan g.
Title says it, but let me clarify because
I know how confusing this is.
I have been with a guy since feb. he was annoying at first but grew on me.
In May he proposed. I said yes because we were in public and he went out of his way to make it special.
I felt bad. I had planned to tell him after.
Well in June he got really distant. But maintained daily contact. Said it was him and not me and that he would work through it. That he loved me
He also borrowed A LOT of money from me. A whole lot and i knew I wouldn’t get it back if I dumped him.
The plan was to ride it out, get the money and leave.
He is very toxic and manipulative and I don’t notice until around June also.
I have seen this guy regularly enough to not really think he was up to something.
Well the other day someone I don’t know messages me and informs me that HE GOT MARRIED IN OCTOBER!
I’m devastated. But not for the normal reasons. My heart isn’t really broken as I know I dodged a bullet
But...
I tried to leave this guy SO MANY TIMES and he would go crazy and threaten to kill him self and tell me how I complete him and he hasn’t been around as much because of work and he’s doing it for us and blah blah blah.
Anyway I’m mad because
I tried to leave and he wouldn’t let me because he “loved” me.
I decided to inform the wifey that hey, I’m his fiancé.
She said not to speak to her unless I have proof.
AITA if I write her a letter and include screenshots that are dated to show her the proof she wants?
I want to just have them in an envelope and I will have someone take them into her work to drop it off for whenever she comes in.
He swore there was nobody else and then married someone while still planning a future with me and sleeping with me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KvVIEOVRm9bPiG3GGd5Qk2O319peT77v | b1y09a | {
"description": "not standing up and letting an elderly lady take my seat after letting her sit down beside me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not standing up and letting an elderly lady take my seat after letting her sit down beside me? | So I, a high school student, am catching my normal everyday bus which I take for 40 minutes so I always try and find a seat and it's the one hourly bus that goes directly to the school so it is often super busy if not full and this was one of these days. I notice an elderly lady who is about 60 looking for a seat so I move over to allow her to sit down next to me. We sit there for a few stops before a seat with my friend clears up so I just say "excuse me I'll just move out here" when (not sure how to express a tone through text but it was really entitled uptight) she says straight to my face "yeah, you better" implying as if I was offending her + the seat had belonged to her and I was intruding in her space. I don't like confrontation so I kept on moving and walked away but being a teenager I have low self-esteem and started beating myself up over like thinking to myself "I should have just stood up" and making myself feel bad. Was I the asshole for moving over instead of standing up for this woman?
Side note: She was not morbidly obese and she only needed one seat not mine too
TL;DR Moved over for a woman to sit on bus and she acted as if I was being offensive when I went to move | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
3VnYdTCbo6wAaKwrLdhSHj1SIeLb4U4W | b5exl1 | {
"description": "not inviting friends to our wedding my fiancee once considered like family",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not inviting friends to our wedding my fiancee once considered like family? | This is actually more like an "Are we the assholes". So my fiancee once upon a time had a very close knit group of friends that had accepted me as part of their group several years ago. His friends were like a family to him and he had lived with a few them at one point in his early to mid 20s.
​
About 2 years ago there was a fight. My fiancee wanted to avoid conflict and so chose to avoid them for about a month while he cooled down. Then he went to a party and asked that they put everything behind them and move on. Instead of moving on, 2 of them got in his face, told him that they were pissed about being ignored for a month. He explained he just didn't needed time to cool off and he didn't want to fight anymore, but the refused to move on and ever since then have made it clear they don't want him around anymore when their group gets together.
​
My fiancee and I got engaged a few months ago and are currently sending out Save the Dates. At first I told him that I thought we should invite his friends because it's the mature thing to do and to show that he's not holding grudges. That is, until I realized that they had unfriended me on social media - without me ever even being involved in this whole thing.
​
We decided to invite a few of them that we remained in contact with, but leave out the rest. One of our friends says that we shouldn't really do that because it'll make things worst and if I am going to invite one, I should invite all of them.
​
TL;DR: Are we the assholes for not inviting once close friends to our wedding because they are holding a 2 year grudge? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
zFk1CZw7OSkrezq8e6gHNwxt0SzJTBD2 | aqb7n5 | null | AITA for this situation with my dad | I'll post the end result and then underneath will be the 5 day build up to what happened while working with my dad, I'm 24 hes like 54, he split with my mum when I was around 13 and we've had an off and on relationship since I was say 14 (we was litrelly best friends before this)
So we go to work on the 5th day, (we've already had 4 days of him being a arsehole to me) in the morning we go get paint for the job and while I'm locking my car and hes already out hes saying "hurry up" in a annoyed tone (I was locking the car) litrelly being as quick as possible.. on the way to the job he said go to the petrol station so he can get some ciggeretts and on the way there I said nicely as I always do because he'll go mad at me if I didn't, "so earlier when you was telling me to hurry up because I was taking 5 seconds to lock the car because your in a rush but its okay to take a detour for you to get your ciggeretts? it just seems a little unfair, he goes mad, tells me to turn around and we'll go home (I don't live with him) and 5 minutes later he tells me to carry on towards the job all while saying I'm in the wrong and why do I need to say anything
we have a "okayish" day at work with him being 20% arsehole, we do a nightjob and on the way back he asks to stop again at the petrol station and I asked if he could get me a powerade and he comes out with a monster energy drink, its 10pm so I say ahh thanks but I can't drink that at this time can I have some of your water? and he sighs and shakes hes head and passes it to me and while I'm taking the cap off he says in a tone come on cant you just drink it while you drive? (I passed my driving test a week ago so still a little new) again another 5 second thing I can't do
so I drive on, I'm following google maps with traffic updates and go in the middle lane and hes like go left and I was already in the middle lane to go straight and said ah the satnav says straight up and its got traffic updates I'm gonna go straight, to which he replies ahh I'm getting out and opened the door, he probably expected me to say no dont be silly but I didn't say anything and he started talking and I said "I thought you was getting out?" because after 4 days of this shit I was just sick of it, so he said fair enough and got out at 10pm and had to walk an hour home because he left hes wallet in the car
he come back to hes house going mad saying "keep that prick out of my way" and for me to get all the paint gear out of my car, it was like music to my ears I didn't want to work with him anyway, he then goes upstairs and smokes a joint with my step mum and starts crying saying how horrible of a son I am (I really don't think I am at all, I've helped him out loads with money in the past and turned down christmas presents because he had recently asked to borrow money the day before, I've always been loyal and respectful to him (probably because he threatens me if I ever shout back) and he called up my sisters the next day with the story of how I left him at 10pm in the cold
so AITA for not begging him to stay in the car?
day 1 of painting: the day before I said I needed to pump my tire before going on motorways(first time on a motorway), he said okay pick me up earlier, I do, he says we'll pump it at the services, first services he didn't tell me until it was too late that that was the turning, he said okay next services, we get to that and he says we'll do it on the way home instead, he drove on the way home and he stopped somewhere to get ciggerets and while doing so took a left turn too tight and drove over a curb, I said "Dad, curb" and hes like alright mate I've been driving x amount of years and then boom hit the curb and didn't say anything, again same thing we drive past 2 services and then he says we could go to this petrol station but the police are always there and hes lisence is revoked (I didn't realise at this point that I would actaully get in trouble if caught, I didn't let him drive again because of hes late gear changes, a couple days later I found out I could've lost my lisence!) we drove past that petrol station and.. no police..
day 2:
As its very difficult to get out of hes drive as you have to reverse with loads of cars passing I felt better doing it with someone with me as I had been driving 2 days and still nervous, I Said in the morning "we defo have to get air today" and hes looked at me with hes pissed off face "Zipoo11, It's your car, its your responsibitly, you should've gone out last night after dropping me off and got air yourself"
anyway.. off we pop to work
he dropped paint on the carpet while showing me what to do, thats okay though he says. A few hours later, my first mistake and a droplet of paint comes down from where I'm painting a ceiling onto a gloss stair case banister and he notices and I can see him freaking out about it and I'm like its okay It'll be fine because it seems hes getting angry and hes response with hes scary angry face "I don't want to fall out with you but why don't you just listen" and he accuses me of arguing with him while I go get a cloth to wipe off water based paint off a gloss bainster and hes all angry and shouting while I'm doing so
day 3: hes now shouting at me while I'm driving (I've been driving independantly in a new car 3 days at this point) if I make a little mistake and hes shaking hes head at me making me even more nervous, I'm about to come off a dual carridgeway so I'm in the left hand lane signaling and he says "stay in that lane" while pointing foward at the 2 lanes, so I stay in the left lane.. and he goes all funny at me and gets pissed off.. the right lane was for turning right and the left lane was for straight on, the police were in the right hand lane and he said stick your indicator on to go right and I said dad police are right there can't I just go up? and hes all pissed off like I've added an hour onto the journey still saying he pointed at the right lane.. the journey was litrelly 1 minute longer and hes all pissed at me about it, I'm like fuck this im going home, while I'm setting up the sat nav hes come back out after smoking a joint and now hes not angry hes trying to be nice and gives me a "spud" to say sorry I guess
shouting at me because I said I felt more comforable painting the top of the wall without a step up ladder thing (I'm 6'3) and hes getting all pissed because hes asked me to use the ladder which I don't need because I can reach the top of the ceiling without tip toeing
anyway I forgot most of the stuff but I was litrelly on edge all the time while working with him, I love painting and I did really good for someone with not much expereince at all, me and my dad have always clashed, I find him extreamly controlling and if you don't say "how high" when he says jump then he gets angry.. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GYqAmw0MIo9548x84jyi5AMD4zGeYwaW | a1phff | {
"description": "resenting my fwb/sorta girlfriend for lying to me because she thought I would be mad",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for resenting my fwb/sorta girlfriend for lying to me because she thought I would be mad? | me and this girl started out as friends through a dating app and it slowly evolved into more. It really on off friends with benefits and us being supportive of one anothers varying levels of depression and ups and downs. Well earlier this year we had a pregnancy scare and we both agreed that if it were the case we would get rid of it. She was about a week and a half late and then she told me she got her period. Both of us were rather turned off to the friend ship and each other for awhile after this happened.
​
Well a few months later we started talking again and I had finally gotten my depression under control(counseling and a few other things) and I finally felt like I could fully commit to the relationship and you know minus the scare things were good. So we'd been seeing eachother again all the while I've been pushing her to get help with her depression and etc.
​
she was over recently and I made an off handed remark about not wanting another scare and it put her into a full blown panic attack. After an hour or so of just sitting there with her and letting her calm down she said that last time she took care of it. Which means that she was pregnant and that she got rid of it. Which was the agreed upon solution and that part doesn't bother me so much. She said that she didn't tell me because she thought I would be mad even though both of us suggested that would be what we did about it.
​
The part that does bother me is that she lied to me about it. First off I know they aren't exactly cheap to get and I told her I would help pay for it, but she just went behind my back told me everything was fine and took care of it herself.
​
I guess i'm just really frustrated that she lied to me about something so serious. I kinda resent her for the situation and really I just want to disappear and never talk to her again. I feel like I cant trust her on any topic now because of that. does that make me the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
HzwWqKoqVsNfPlucwGmw0VvM4pzVpcul | b2hmjo | {
"description": "letting my ex gf on foot and get a ride with friends",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for letting my ex gf on foot and get a ride with friends? | My university is located inside this pretty big industrial park, and I get out of the bus in the entrance gate, so I need to walk about a mile to get to the university. I see my ex gf in the bus (we broke up less than a month) and she came to talk to me and I was not in the mood to have a talk or chat, also se kept "talking shit" about me (things like, that I am selfish, that I never liked her, never helped her[that is BS since I was the one that always searched for help to her depression and she always quites before the end with some shitty excuse and after the 4 try I gave up, and sometime after we broke up] and stuff like that) so I was walking with her, not talking too much, just listening some BS, and then I hear someone honking their horn, so I turn arround to see who is, and is a couple that is my friend, they offer a ride for me AND for her, I accept the ride and enter the car, she does not and kept walking
AITA for not going on feet with her? It is like 84F (29C) and I was sweting a lot and was kind of tired to listen bullshit before 9am, I kind of knew that she was not going to enter the car, because she used to thought that the girl was hitting on me and my ex kind of hate this girl | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
w4kJA6Vxcydyae6p5NAQmYQ9hFgqwCev | 9y5aj3 | {
"description": "walking out on my hookup",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for walking out on my hookup? | Hung out with this girl two times spent the night in her dorm both nights, had sex the first time second time she wasn't in the mood so we just cuddled.
Now a couple hours ago she hits me up after shes been drinking and asks me to come over. I head over and meet her at a party and we chill for a bit while I start drinking to catch up to her. Now I'm starting to buzz and she's starting to sober up, we walk back to her dorm and I make her some food, get her water, and other basic needs. All is going well we're having a great time and we move into her bedroom.
This is where it goes bad.... I crawl into her bed and she goes on the floor plugs her phone into the speaker and starts blasting music. After a song or two I mention to her how she should come up by me so we can cuddle and she totally ignores the question and starts talking about something else. Another 5 or 6 songs go by with us talking about the music and her roommate gets back and my hookup/date invites her into her bedroom. They then began to discuss the two guys her roommate just slept with and the most amount of guys they have slept with in a certain period. At this point I got out of bed put my cloths back on (hookup/date was also stripped down) and the roommate asked if I was leaving I told her my hookup/date has better things to do and then I left.
I messaged me hookup/date from outside and asked her to talk she came out and I explained I started to leave because it seemed like she wasn't interested at all. She said she was interested she just wanted to chill in her own space for a while and it wasn't a big deal her roommate was there. I then left and blocked her. Am I the asshole?
TL;DR my hookup/date didn't give me any attention and talked to her roommate about of many guys she's had sex with in front of me. I then left and blocked her after trying to talk to her and tell her how I was feeling. Am I the asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
iu7UTKakvMSHeIG8s6XP96yXS8Beaizm | asc85g | {
"description": "getting upset with my wife for canceling our vacation because we just had a baby",
"pronormative_score": 46,
"contranormative_score": 236
} | WIBTA for getting upset with my wife for canceling our vacation because we just had a baby? | I'll be as brief as possible.
My family has been planning a big family Hawaiian vacation (my parents, my brother's family with 3 kids, some very close family friends) for about 10 years now to celebrate my niece's graduation from High School. It is scheduled for early/Mid August this year, and everyone is chipping in for an awesome house to rent for the week.
My wife has known about this trip since we started dating a few years ago. We have been lucky and are now pregnant, due in late June.
My wife is telling me that she does not think we should go. The baby will only be a month or two old, and she is worried about how she will feel after giving birth. The flight would be from the Northeast US, probably a changeover in California, and then out to Hawaii.
My feeling is that people travel with 1-2 month old kids all the time. Also we will have a TON of family around us if we go on the trip who WANT to help watch the kid (so maybe we can relax more than if we stayed home), and I don't feel like she is going to still be hurting a month or two after giving birth. Mostly a guess, but my internet researching backs up the theory, so it's not completely out of the realm of possibility.
**I am supporting her feelings and haven't said anything negative yet (just how I am pretty bummed about missing it)**, but it is really making me frustrated the more I dwell on it. I've been excited about this trip for years.
WIBTA if I told her that I think she is being unreasonable? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 234,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 30,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 46,
"WRONG": 236
} | WRONG |
WXtgELhXwCHYJZh2RjAHadIZEPjenpBa | b04kk7 | {
"description": "telling off the bag checking people",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling off the bag checking people? | I'm going through the security line at a museum and they are searching bags. They have these sticks to poke around or are just squeezing people's bags, obviously just searching for weapons. So I plop my purse down on the counter and one dude starts poking around and then the other guy grabs my bag and goes "I want to check it! I want to check it!" And they start this little tug of war over my bag...? So I say "why are you guys getting off on going through my bag?" To which the 2nd guy replies "ehhh we gotta have fun some how." So I just take my bag and enter the museum.
I told my boyfriend what happened, and he said my remark was snarky. Which I completely agree with haha. But was it inappropriate?
I know bag checking is a necessary security measure, but it's still a small invasion of privacy, and they are doing important work. I felt like someone doing that do that job should be at least a bit more professional.
But, I guess the biggest problem for me was the fact that 2 dudes were fighting over the chance to go through my bag.
Was I the asshole for making that comment? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
QHz48hGnd0mmnMaAxMazFRDDDUbXRqpC | amn1r0 | {
"description": "not taking my roommate (who has no car) grocery shopping",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I didn’t take my roommate (who has no car) grocery shopping? | Would I be the asshole if I didn’t take my roommate, who has no car to get to the store, to go grocery shopping this week?
My roommate doesn’t have a car, but I do. I don’t want to go grocery shopping this weekend, but I know she needs to go. I usually take her with me once a week. Essentially, she is dependent on me in terms of grocery shopping rides, and has been for the past 6 months, but it’s ok because I just take her whenever I go.
We live in a college town where the bus system is good (and free with our college card) and a 15 minute walk from a smaller grocery store, but it’s been raining pretty hard recently so it would suck to walk there and back.
I know she’ll ask me “are you busy? Can you take me?” No, I’m not busy, but I just don’t want to go.
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FNPe3HPNEM3j4slYi4hqnyoUXlSKNexa | b9cl8h | {
"description": "wanting to bring my laptop to do work for a big presentation the next day during my GFs family overnight get together",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for wanting to bring my laptop to do work for a big presentation the next day during my GFs family overnight get together? | I already agreed to be the driver of one of the vehicles and join her family at this rented house with a pool overnight. It's a big get together with her whole family.
My client asked me to meet with him the evening after the event so that we can launch the website I've been developing for his company. I'm getting my final payout after that. I told my gf about it and she made a big deal out of it. I told her I'd still go, but I would have to spend time doing work to prepare for the presentation and fixing any bugs on the site. She told me that I should leave my laptop and just enjoy the event and not be a killjoy. I work from home with this being my new entrepreneurship job and so my schedule is very wonky. She told me I had a disorder, and I would never change. I told her if she was in the same situation I'd understand, and appreciate she still went, and I'd also let her do work she has to do to prepare for one of the biggest presentations of her life this far. She doesn't see it that way. In the end she told me not to go, and she would do the same to me so I would know how it feels (Not sure what that means). We're not on talking terms right now. This event happens this weekend, Sunday to Monday. And Monday is the presentation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 4
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
SmcFxoeqjmjF5NFX1i8x92fk4u0c9oe7 | a5269x | {
"description": "planning to go behind my brothers back to give my nephews Santa gifts",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 35
} | AITA for planning to go behind my brothers back to give my nephews Santa gifts? | I have two nephews who are six and four. Recently the oldest one told my mom that Santa wasn’t coming to their house this year because they were bad. My mom confirmed this with my brother, and indeed, these kids are getting no stocking or gifts from Santa. I think this is appalling! My mom and I are hatching a plan to make it look like Santa made a mistake and accidentally came to grandmas house. Of course this will be a surprise to my brother and SIL as well. Are we assholes for undermining their so-called punishment? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 33,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 35
} | WRONG |
s1cqDsqDxDWJruCnpH3Xr1FDBQpzwlpm | azo7y8 | {
"description": "not wanting to invite my grandparents to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not wanting to invite my grandparents to my wedding. | My fiance and I are planning our wedding and going over the guest list. We don't want a big wedding, family only. I don't want to invite my grandparents as they don't bother with us at all.
We have a 2yo son and they have seen him 5 times since he was born, we are always the one to make the effort with them and I'm just not interested in having to chase a relationship with them. It's been this way since he was born, they drive to visit people that live around the corner from us but we are always the ones that have to visit them.
I want to invite my mum, stepdad, brothers, aunt and uncle with their sons, my partner's dad, brothers, nan and aunt and uncle.
Am I the asshole if I don't invite them? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
G1awA9d6sA31sCsdSKcWgJWMHxuZVJWx | 9xhfjb | {
"description": "not donating to a coworker's baby gift",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not donating to a coworker’s baby gift? | I’m a junior-level employee at a large company. One of the leads on my team is going on paternity leave soon, and members of the team are pitching in to get him a gift card as a way to say congratulations.
I do not want to contribute to the gift card because 1) he is a senior member of the team so he likely earns more than me; and 2) our company has generous, paid paternity leave and a cash bonus for new parents. It seems like he does not need the money, and it feels wrong to give a gift card to someone who I report to.
But, there is an expectation among my team that we all contribute to this gift. AITA for not contributing? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
N4X8OtUQfNSfYdSQJhJ1h8QSxSq93zBi | alvjdy | {
"description": "going the extra mile to get a work project in on time",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going the extra mile to get a work project in on time? | Hi all,
First time posting but I’m confused and think that, I may be the asshole in the situation but am not sure.
To preface this - My work is wrapped together with FDA compliance and requires strict deadlines and 100% accuracy. The investigation I conducted had a 5 business day timeline to closure and we are expected to have the investigation into quality assurance the day before the due date.
Within our group there are 4 layers of review, prior to quality assurance.
The investigation I was given was abnormally long, 12 data points as compared to the normal 1-3.
It was day 3 and after sorting through the data it went into the first level of review and we managed to push it to the last level of review on day 4.
This was data review, where essentially we have folks who will double check all the data associated with the investigation.
The coworker I sent this to in the morning of day 4 told me that she had a doctors appointment at 2pm
But another coworker had graciously agreed to take over for her when she had to leave. So I figured, no sweat this will be done by 5. I should note I had been a data reviewer before my promotion to investigator, so I know approximately how long these take.
Well, 3 o’clock comes and I had a meeting, my boss walks over to my cube section as I was getting up and we started a brief conversation when this other coworker comes over and starts composing about getting the investigation late and how she’s missed her appointment and she can’t possibly finish it by the end of the day. This took me completely off guard as we had agreed that she would pass it off so she could make her appointment.
Then she said she would need to complete it tomorrow and asked my manager if that was fine, which he said would be okay, but was clearly pissed.
So, as having an assignment go to the next group on the final day is a bad look, I coordinated, during my meeting I should have been paying attention in with another data reviewer to finish it tonight. Which he was on board with as it meant overtime and I gave him some extra points in the recognition system we have (they translate to items you can order).
He just asked for the data that was already reviewed, no sweat I figured, she said she would send it to the other coworker before she left.
She sent out the word file but not the data file. So, fuck. I texted her asking essentially: “hey if you have a sec and some internet would you be able to pass that excel file over so X could use it for the review.” She responded that she didn’t bring her laptop home (which you are supposed to do) and I don’t need someone else to review it she would do it tomorrow.
But, as my boss was pissed and wanted it in I gave X the original file and he had to re do the work she had allegedly already done. X was totally fine with it and said it really wasn’t an issue for him at all.
We end up getting it into the next group by the skin of our teeth that night.
Flash forward he next day. I get called into a room by my boss and told that certain people have said that I was condescending toward them and not understanding of their limitations. I was totally and completely shocked and automatically went with the “I’m sorry I’ll try to not be condescending etc,” as I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. Then I realized it must have been the original data reviewer complaint and he confirmed it. He said he doesn’t want to assign blame but just wanted me to work on it.
Now, that left me in the spot of, I didn’t think I did anything wrong but couldn’t really push back in this circumstance without coming off as placing blame on her, which I thought, was on her.
So either I’m the asshole or she preemptively complained thinking I was going to complain about her, which I was not.
More recently, this woman, who I might add was previously a school teacher and is a grown woman has been very condescending to me and seems to stick her nose up around me very often. She also never mentioned about being upset with me or anything of the like prior to this event.
So now my boss has been acting strange toward me and I’m waiting for another shoe to drop, while I’m not sure if I’ve actually done something wrong here.
It’s very frustrating, so AITA here?
| HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
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} | RIGHT |
JnT57xJCHdmYcUHdVh9mIqtrMLczPyZO | a884id | {
"description": "breaking up with my fiancee over something I found while snooping",
"pronormative_score": 242,
"contranormative_score": 37
} | WIBTA if I break up with my fiancee over something I found while snooping? | I discovered a few months ago that my fiancee was having an affair and we agreed to try to work past it.
When I'm alone I get this awful urge to snoop and followed it, plugging in a USB drive I found on our TV stand.
I found a bunch of old saved pictures of the dude from years before she told me she met him (like nudes and shit), plus chat logs and stuff that revealed she was cheating with this guy on her previous partner too, extensively.
I feel like I'm hedging a losing bet by staying, even though I'm an asshole for looking through someone else's stuff. "Our stuff" lol, we're supposed to be engaged and share.
If I bail and just cite an unfortunate discovery of a history of duplicity, am I an asshole? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 240,
"EVERYBODY": 16,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 5
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 242,
"WRONG": 37
} | RIGHT |
0pSkoYxlZkFpHMPkjLZko7AqJMJ3n8uO | a165di | {
"description": "being pissed at my dad",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being pissed at my dad? | My biological father and I lost contact about 3 years ago after a string of arguments about how he was never there for me when I needed him.
Rewind to my childhood, my mum was basically a single parent to my older brother and I because he was never there for us. One day, mum announces she's pregnant and he forces her to get an abortion because he had gotten my uncle's 16 yr old girlfriend pregnant instead and had chosen to keep that child. So, obviously they got divorced and we moved back to my hometown.
Bare in mind he is an extremely manipulative and horrid person, he used to do things like put me on top of cupboards when I was 5 and laugh at me whilst I wailed and screamed.. which is why I'm petrified of heights now.
So back to the present day, I turned 20 about a month ago, (my mum is now happily married to my step dad who is the best man I know btw) and unfortunately I was born on the same day as him which is the only reason why he actually remembers my birthday.. he texted me and tried to have a conversation which I went along with because I'm not a total wanker... but he failed to mention that he was getting married for the 4th time two weeks later... and even worse that my brother and I were never even thought about when sending the invites out.
Even worse, I go to university with my cousin, his niece, and speak to her all the time and she never mentioned it either.. yet I actually found out about the wedding through her Snapchat story.
So my question is really, AITA for wanting to message him and let him know he's never going to be a part of my life again, that he will never see the inside of my brother and my own weddings and our own families... or should I take the high road and make him believe that I don't care?
Thank you guys! | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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KgXA6bn3fWIKTYvcpRCnycG424KaVzhW | b9xq5j | {
"description": "telling my friend that it will take 7 years for her to graduate with her double major",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I (18F) told my friend (20F) that it will take 7 years for her to graduate with her double major? | So, my friend and I are really close. She is interested in a bunch of things and is doing a double degree (Forestry and Spanish with a minor in Russian). The thing is, those majors are in two different departments, so they're basically two separate curriculums. I calculated it and, with the minor and the study abroad that she wants to do, it'll take her 7 years to finish her Bachelor's. And that's if she passes every class she takes (she has failed some classes already).
I don't want to seem like I'm controlling my friend's life, but I also want her to graduate. She told me that it will only take her five years to graduate with both majors, but there is no way this is possible. She doesn't have the money to go to school for seven years, and I'm worried if she doesn't choose to go with only one major, that she'll have to drop out of school.
tldr; I have some concerns about my friend's hard college curriculum. WIBTA for telling her how long it will take for her to graduate?
​ | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ca4YwLzA7E4M5XChExapK4Mk8rU9cspj | ag4cco | {
"description": "not ignoring this dog whose owner left it out in the cold",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not ignoring this dog whose owner left it out in the cold? | Yesterday I was getting off the T (Boston public transit) and saw a very tiny dog, probably 15ish pounds, clearly cat-sized, with its leash hooked up to a parking meter outside of a burrito shop. The poor thing was audibly whimpering and pawing for attention at anyone who walked past and shivering very hard.
I hesitated after passing it, then turned around, set my bag down, and knelt down to warm it up by rubbing my hands around it. I doubted it wasn’t doing much for the little guy but he was receptive toward me and tried to lick me, he seemed happy I was doing it.
Then his owner walks out of the burrito shop, and says verbatim, “You know, you’re probably a nice guy, but people gotta stop being such fucking do-gooders.” I begged his pardon because I was so shocked this guy would say something like that (silly in hindsight because the kind of scumbag who would do that to his dog of course wouldn’t have any shame when something like this happens. He asks me if he looks like he’s being neglected and I say yes, you fucking dipshit, this thing is the size of a cat and he’s whimpering at everyone who walks by, etc. We get into it, start screaming at each other outside of the shop while the patrons look on inside, until I decided I didn’t want this to escalate into a fight so I just left and told him he was a loser/fuck off, etc.
Keep in mind, this is Boston. The temperature last night was well below freezing, probably around 25 F or lower, and this wasn’t a bushy dog. Very small with a minimal, Labrador style coat, not warm or puffy looking. The asshole was probably in there for at least 15-20 mins as there was a decent line in there.
Am I the asshole for picking up this scumbag’s slack and taking care of his dog? This may seem obvious but I was just so taken aback by how shameless this fucking guy was in neglecting his dog. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
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} | RIGHT |
VZKo0UvW9VG0a7Q5LyGOmFKHucjKG6EF | aqfn5z | {
"description": "possibly letting a cow harm me and my fathers' relationship",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for possibly letting a cow harm me and my fathers' relationship? | *Sorry in advance if this doesn't belong here or should go somewhere else*
Some background:
I am 15, almost 16 (so about to have my car), and am a sophomore in HS. My parents are divorced (custody is split 50/50) and have always had a ton of animosity between them, can never agree on arguments, etc. My dad and I have also never been on the best of terms, as he is manipulative and stubborn, and before this incident, I have never strongly fought him for anything, and have never stood my ground against him.
I am a member of FFA at my school, and my upcoming goal for the next school year and show season is to raise a heifer and take it to stock shows, county fairs, etc. My long term goal is to be a large animal vet working with livestock and horses.
​
Now the actual story:
My dad, since I have expressed interest in this project, has not been supportive. Until just recently, when I started talking about it seriously, I have always assumed he was just on the fence, didn't really understand, just overall not committed one way or another.
Now, when talking about it, he, and his wife (my step-mom), have been making multiple arguments against it, some being that it isn't worth it, not beneficial to my career, too time consuming, and that I am not serious about it. My mom and I have been working together, along with her boyfriend, to convince my dad to support me and that it is beneficial. We have stated that, because I am literally getting hands-on experience with a large animal, this applies directly to my career and goals.
I also agree that it will be time consuming, but I have solved that by taking early release next year, something my dad also disapproves of. By refusing to let me take early release, he is making it exponentially harder for me to have the 2-3 hours needed to take care of this animal.
I also have been doing tons of research to learn more about raising heifers, how it will benefit me down the road, reading about other people's overall experience, etc. Suffice to say, I think I am pretty serious about this.
Yesterday, He told my mom that he and my step-mom would not allow me to go to the barn during his weeks, forcing me to rely on someone else for raising my calf, and prohibiting me from doing so. I would also like to add that I would not be depending on him for rides (I don't get the calf until after I have my own car/license), money (I have my own money already and can work the whole summer), or help with responsibilities.
If he does restrict me from doing this, I will tell him that ultimately, I would like and value his support, but this is something I am serious about and by not giving me the means to do so, he would result in me deciding that I want to have more custody with my mom, and that our relationship would not be the same.
So, with that said, WIBTA for giving him this ultimatum and standing my ground against him, even if it means that I would jeopardize our relationship?
​ | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 13,
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} | RIGHT |
ghf5AXp8FbhMlQiZ7RxPWmDknnYMQb0a | akvvex | {
"description": "being impatient with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being impatient with my gf | Love my gf. She means the world to me. But it takes her soooooo long to do anything.
Ex. Getting ready she will sit on her phone scrolling Facebook and will snap at me when I all her to continue to get ready.
I'll ask for something and she will have it in her hands and start a conversation and hold the item hostage.
Sometimes I do get overly angry because we ride the bus and if you miss it you're basically screwed. The other day, we had plans (her plans) and she was supposed to meet me at my house and we would go about our day. It took 2 1/2 for me to say that she was taking awhile, and even then she wasn't ready. She was waiting for her friend with a car to come get us. I was woken up at 7 30 and we didn't meet up until almost noon. She then said today that she didnt need me there, she only wanted me there so i shouldn't have gotten mad. Not the first time I've had to wait on her when plans are made but this time aggravated the hell out of me.
Idk a little advice would help | HISTORICAL | {
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} | RIGHT |
wmRCpT8zrX6SYeuaVo5i7n2H2iyVPv1X | b56v61 | {
"description": "not letting my bf have a man bun at our university ball",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for not letting my bf have a man bun at our university ball? | My bf (19) has recently been growing his hair out so he can wear it in a man bun. I found it funny until he told me that he was planning on wearing it in the style to our University's Ball tomorrow night.
To be clear, this isn't a glorious Jason Momoa man bun, but a top knot that barely fits into a hair tie.
I've told him that I don't want him to wear it like this as I don't find it attractive and I had wanted to get some nice photos of us dressed up, but he says that it's his decision to make, not mine and that I shouldn't be upset.
AITA for causing a fuss? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
u4ascccSiEzhxpe6I9yZpoRN2BHVsNwd | a5qk4a | {
"description": "cutting this guy out",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting this guy out? | So my boyfriend of 3 years has had this friend since he started university (six years ago or so). I’ll call him “Jeff”.
I tried very hard to get along with Jeff from the get go, but it was hard. He has a lot of trouble with social situations and has a tendency to say things that rub people the wrong way. I think he also had issues with me because my bf was one of his only friends, and single with him. So when he started dating me, I think he felt like I was stealing him away.
Anyway, we’ve had issues with him in the past kind of blowing up at me and other folks in the friend group for what feels like no reason. He often takes things said over text way wrong, and starts spiralling into those “everyone hates me” kind of tirades. Recently, he’s been inviting himself over to our apartment A LOT (without asking, just kind of stating that he’ll be coming over so tough shit if you had other things to do!) and I called him out on it none-too-nicely. I said he was frustrating me and he needed to ask first.
I also made sure to say that I wouldn’t be telling him this if I didn’t want to be friends with him. But yeah, it backfired, and he tells me that it made him cry at his desk all day. So I apologize but I also say that I’m not going to sugarcoat my feelings when he’s bothering me, and that he deserves the truth.
The next morning, he sends me a text threatening suicide or violence if I ever talk to him that way again. Literally says “it will always be a threat” if I make him feel that way again. Problem is, he works himself into those stupors, so I could literally say the most menial thing and he’ll freak out.
I told him he needed professional help, and he starts texting my boyfriend about how he’s never gotten along with me and that I am making mountains out of molehills. I haven’t spoken to him since.
I’ve dealt with this kind of victim shit before and I am not interested in going through it again. He’s obviously sick, but I don’t think I can change his mind and it’s stressing me the hell out. So am I an asshole for just saying screw this and letting him go? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ILOjAuaraQJFbMRqAgu2RvH01zuIzVUO | ayydbv | {
"description": "bailing on my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for bailing on my boyfriend? | I have several close friends who come in town about once a month. I never get much notice when they're coming in, they all live near to each other but about an hour away from our hometown (where I live). Most days i do nothing after work except gym with my boyfriend and then go home and do errands or stay in with him ( we live together). We really dont go on dates not sure how relevant this is but im trying to present context. At least the last two times my friends have come in town on friday night I have had loose plans with my boyfriend to get dinner or go to the movies.
For example, two days ago my boyfriend and I talked about going to a restaurant we've been wanting to try and we brought up friday as a suggestion. Yesterday I found out my friends were coming into town and wanted to go out and get dinner/drinks. I told my boyfriend they were coming and all he said was "have fun". This was right before bed so I just dropped it and went to sleep. He leaves for work before I do so there wasn't a chance to talk in person the lik morning. After work, I got home and brought up that I wanted to go. I asked him if we wanted to come and he said no which is pretty typical, he gets very surely around my friends. He shut down and started giving me one word answers to any questions. "Is this a problem?" "No im fine". When hes clearly lying like that I just act like im taking his word seriously. So if he's "fine" there's no reason I can't go. I left and told him I'd make it up to him. I sent him a text that I love him and we can still go to the restaurant tomorrow and he said "stop bothering me". Reddit, am I a major asshole for choosing a monthly visit with longtime friends over a potential rare date with my boyfriend? I want your honest opinions. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
QnBZc0SQUgfcU9meQnYbfAuzzvQ3TGh0 | b6030d | {
"description": "ghosting a former close friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for ghosting a former close friend? | Barely 20 years old, male. As a recent high school graduate who kept making excuses to push off applying to college, I was starting to get lonely and was losing friends to college. However, friend of a friend I haven't seen since high school shoots me a message. We will call her T. T asks me if I'd like to come over sometime and hang out with some of her friends, one of which was the one who was also my friend (who we'll call 'R'. I hadn't seen R in forever either. I was in.
We all end up having a great time. It was just me, T, R, and a new girl named H. We agree to do this more often, and start to meet up several times a week. Side note, my family is very poor, while T isn't at all. T would take me out to eat all of the time, which always made me feel kind of guilty but she would insist. She would also drive around, and just help me in general.
After about a month of the two, I notice that T had been a lot closer to me than usual, and is definitely dropping hints about liking me. However, I'm by no means looking for a relationship, so I choose to show my uninterest by ignoring every hint. After about a month she seemed to have given up and become content with the fact that we would just be friends.
Big detail for the next part is that T had never gotten drunk, despite being older than me. After another month of us being strictly friends again, she tells me that she wants to try it with me and H. T makes it very clear H won't arrive there until late, but that doesn't really bother me so I agree anyways.
T drinks a little, I drink a lot, and we both become very drunk. Eventually, H shows up and I am plastered, as is T. H says she's tired and goes right to bed, which sucks as she said that pretty much upon walking in. T says she's tired too, and tells me to follow her. She asks if I'm okay laying next to her, I don't really care, but am definitely on edge at this point.
After some silence, she started to press her body closely against mine, and I sorta freaked out on her. Didn't yell or anything, but did raise my voice.
Since then I've not hung out with her again and it's been months. I can tell she's been upset about it, but every time she asks me to hang out it's abundantly clear she's trying to fuck. She makes it very obvious. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
5B63zw8j057ECs7Bs5lFUU7o4U8Gr5lg | awd6ux | {
"description": "cutting this person out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting this person out of my life | (Disclaimer, I am on mobile and I'm not the best when it comes to grammar) This all started about 4 years ago, when me and this person were both in 8th grade (we are both juniors in high school now). I had just moved from another part of town and I'm really shy. Him and his group (which I'm still friends with most of them) were the first to talk to me. I was glad about that because social anxiety makes it really hard to make new friends. Anyways, it was all fine until about halfway through the year, he starts calling me a whale. I thought it was just a mean joke at first but later found out that he meant it and was just being a prick. Fast forward to freshman year of high school and my group of friends got into a big fight that split the group in two and I was the middle man. I had been battling depression for a while and he kept telling me to hurt myself, or worse. The year after, he did the same thing. Then, this year, he is using one of my friends just for free lunches, sexually harassed me by always slapping my but and making grossly sexual comments, and kept telling me to break up with my girlfriend. I finally told him that he was a "prick with a god complex" (with a few choice words) and he braught up an MIP I got about 3 months before (that was a dumb mistake I made). Then he went to one of my other friends and his family telling them what I'm guessing is a more one sided part of the story, most likely that I told him off with no reason. Fast forward another few days and him and two of my friends are playing on xbox (this is something I was told and knowing the people involved, they wouldn't lie about this) and one of them brings up that shes worried that she might have a stomach tumor. The person I cut off then makes jokes about it, to the point where she had to leave and my other friend also had to tell him off. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
afu2d3qMP7BkZkb56Puv0Nt1jUHPSD9t | b4av6t | {
"description": "dating my best friend who dated my friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if i date my best friend who dated my friend? | me and this chick have been friends for about 3 years in college, when i meet somebody and he becomes a close guy friend. naturally, we all hang out and they end up in a relationship. they break up after two rocky years, the guy friend moves halfway across the country and we no longer talk on a regular basis. me and the chick are still here as friends. fast forward 3 years later, me and my best friends relationship (which is at nearly 8 years now) starts to heat up. she doesn’t wanna be known as a homie hopper understandably but it’s known that we like each other. we have a hell of a lot in common, the chemistry is crazy. i feel as if this is an opportunity to be w somebody special. would i be an asshole to try and pursue this a lil further? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
orPgMQLlmIASWuvW9LEbZIdHKcZLzuTK | 9u2ria | {
"description": "leaving my roommates when they need me",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA for leaving my roommates when they need me? | A couple of months ago my friend, 22F and pregnant, got a house her and her partner cannot afford so they needed a roommate. They asked me and after a day of debating I agreed.
A week before we moved in her partner lost his job and was almost completely broke so I suddenly become the only person with a job, thinking I could handle it so I still agreed to move with them.
Fast forward a little bit and they're not great people to live with, they're lazy and pretty irresponsible homeowners who expect me to pay got almost everything. I've been really struggling to cope with the stress of money/frustration of cleaning up after them so last week I made plans to move out this Thursday and leave them with a week of rent in advance but I don't intend to tell them until Wednesday so I don't change my mind. However, the past few days my friend told me she's being dealing with depression for a while (so have I) and she's been constantly in and out if hospital for numerous reason so they've been really relying on me right now to keep everything from falling apart. However, I still plan on moving out on Thursday.
WIBTA for sticking to my plans? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
N60UJaIETc39Nt2g9RFJ0MAVKpLx1GMN | au4joz | {
"description": "saying I wouldn't date a depressed person in front of depressed people",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for saying I wouldn't date a depressed person in front of depressed people? | So, some more context. This was at a dinner in front of a group of friends as well as some people I didn't personally know. The girl (who I knew) asked me if I'd date someone with depression, because they were talking about dating with depression and wanted my opinion as someone healthy.
I was really put on the spot and said something like "well if my bf became depressed I would definitely support him no matter what." Then she said "no not your current boyfriend, I meant like would you BEGIN dating someone already depressed if you were still single?"
It was awkward as fuck and I just stammered a bit and said "um I guess not... But it's just I don't think I'd be a great partner to someone with severe depression." At this point several people rolled their eyes and just said something like oh classic person who doesn't understand that depressed people are just normal people. I kinda kept my mouth shut for the rest of the night.
A few days ago that friend messaged me saying that next time I get that question I need to be way more supportive. She said that several people were really offended by what I said and only reinforced their view that depressed people are unlovable and will never get dates. I got a bit defensive and said that it was unfair for her to put me on the stop, but she just told me to "get over myself" and learn some "empathy." W/AITA for what I said? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6G6BoOSFa058hEktfNsupZYI6qzKHDut | b5lzi5 | {
"description": "going on a boys trip and not telling my gf about it",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for going on a boys trip and not telling my gf about it? | Throwaway account for reasons but my gf lives in another state and has to go home for a wedding in a few weeks. Originally I was supposed to go with her but when it came time to buy the tickets to get there, I wasn’t able to get the time off work. She understood and everything was good right? Well, fast forward to two weeks ago, a friend asked if I wanted to join him and a coworker on a boys fishing trip.
Here’s where I think I might have messed up. We transferred someone in from another department so we’re a little over staffed in my area at work now. So...I can get the time off. I never told my gf this because the tickets had already been bought and I was just planning on going to work anyway and she didn’t seem to care whether I went with her or not. I told my buddy I could go on the fishing trip.
Today my friend said something to my gf about the trip during casual conversation and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her so angry in 4 years. She’s threatening to break up with me because she says she can’t trust me and what I did was disrespectful to both her and her family.
AITA?
TL;DR was supposed to go to an out of state wedding with my girlfriend but couldn’t get off work. Friend wants to go on a trip for a couple of days while she’s gone and now the time off is available. Girlfriend is livid. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
GVHw6G5mKZ2T3MQsNf2TTWPS0ufbcPBz | a6iobf | {
"description": "flipping out at my partner for leaving the door to my room unlocked",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA For flipping out at my partner for leaving the door to my room unlocked? | I'm on mobile so forgive any formatting issues.
My girlfriend and I live in college dorms during the semester, and this past semester she's been staying with me a lot because of a crappy roommate situation. So yesterday, i was out doing errands and my girlfriend had my key (i let her use it so she can come and go from my room without me being there). I was across the street from my dorm at a store, and she called me while i was paying. I can't multitask all that well so i let it ring and I was gonna call her back as soon as i finished. I finished up, left, checked my phone about 5 mins after she called and got a bunch of texts saying she's leaving and had left my door unlocked with the key inside (i had work about a half hour from there).
I flipped out that she would leave my room with the door unlocked, i called her, and she was still in the building so I told her to get back to my room and i'll be there in 5 mins.
I get back pissed off about it and she's not able to understand why it's such a big deal. But to me, it's as if she left the door to my room wide open with all my electronics and what not up for grabs. On top of that, there have been incidents in the past with people having their laptops stolen out of their rooms because they left their doors unlocked and stepped out. But to her, she says that it's so unlikely to happen that its not a big deal, disregarding the fact that it COULD happen, and then I'd be screwed.
So am i the asshole for flipping out and blowing this out of proportion, or is she in the wrong here?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
TVyriSRqgKOmFkPja5unMhQvnDpipypu | b32hhh | {
"description": "being friendly to the person who got my friends in possible legal trouble",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being friendly to the person who got my friends in possible legal trouble? | My eight friends are relatively cool dudes that I spend a lot of time with. I've known them for about 2-3 years and have talked almost every day with them.
The problem comes in, though, after a friend of ours reported us to our school for cyber-bullying (they actually broke the law). It's been really stressful for them, and about 5 have already been suspended; the school is even possibly pursuing legal action since the girl we "bullied" physically hurt herself.
A couple days prior, I was walking down the halls and got into a conversation with the person who reported us, as I didn't have any problems with her even though she caused most of the problems. I figured since we did actually break the law, she was in the right. Plus, I wasn't going to let one mistake ruin our friendship anyways.
My friend comes up to me after I leave school and starts completely hammering me about it. He asked why I was talking to her and that I was acting really suspicious. I really did not know what to say. From what I see they got mad at me for just talking to someone?
One of my best friends then texts me why I did it. We got into a big argument about it, mainly because she thought I couldn't talk to her because she "hurt us and ruined our future." (not exact wording) Eventually, I got fucking furious with her and just stopped texting. Then in our after-school club, she could not stop mentioning it. Almost every time I did something she would say something related to what I said in the argument. I barely talked to her during the club after I realized what she was doing and didn't talk to her on our walk home we partially share. I think she's being completely fucking petty and annoying about this.
I'm not even allowed to be in a group chat with them because I'm "not to be trusted."
I'm being called an idiot, retarded, and toxic, and I hate it.
I want to be friends with them still, but they're acting like such dicks towards me, even my best friend. I feel like all I have left now is my one online friend.
​
​
Sorry if I left out a lot of information or have bad formatting; I'm not that good with Reddit.
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
ThKjwIl734nyEspc5kNV7QKNJ7FMe84g | ajlbmv | {
"description": "refusing to go out and buy my pregnant wife's cravings on a few occasions",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 12
} | AITA for refusing to go out and buy my pregnant wife’s cravings on a few occasions? | She’s getting these “cravings” randomly and out of the blue. It’s usually always junk food too and random combinations of food. Usually it requires me to leave the house to get them.
She doesn’t want to drive to get them (I’m ok with that, we live in an area where it snows and the roads have been icy). However now she’s treating me like I’m the worst dude in the world.
The last few times she has asked me to go and buy one of her cravings I’ve refused. Most of the time I’ve just been relaxing at home after work.
It’s not my fault she usually doesn’t tell me until after I get home. Yesterday at about this time she wanted me to get her yogurt with fudge nuts and all this stuff from this yogurt place like 25 mins away.
I refused, she kept asking and said I’m just unsupportive and a sucky husband.
She hasn’t talked to me for a full day. Am I in the wrong? Are these cravings really that strong ? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 12
} | RIGHT |
pWRV2vdAvh2PzNc7VvLEV6LjmkxWTi4E | ap8ujh | {
"description": "trying to help two friends figure out a private fight on a public group chat",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA (I'm pretty sure I am but I don't know where else to put this) for trying to help two friends figure out a private fight on a public group chat. | Starting off I just want to say sorry in advance for how "sorry for myself" I seem. I'm a 15 year old teenage boy with no discernable qualities that spends his time playing video games, watching movies/TV and avoiding human contact. I have a good few friends but at times I just feel like I'm the annoying one they keep around out of sympathy. Occasionally even they become tired of my shit and tell me to fuck off and I'm normally the butt of all their jokes. My issue is that I was bullied for several years in school and sort of still am and thus I am naturally distrusting and cynical of others. I drive away people that try to talk to me and sometimes even hurt their feelings in the process. Afterwards I go through periods of self-loathing and promise to get better and yet I never do, in a few days I'm back to my normal asshole self again.
Today two sort of friends were having what I suppose is a fight (not physically or anything as it was in an online group chat) and I somehow made it my business and joined in. I had good intentions but I know afterwards I should have let them figure it out on their own. I started trying to help by getting to the bottom of how it started but was constantly met with "shut up" or "who asked you". Afterwards I got angry and started telling them to sort it out privately or fuck off. This is when I learned that the whole thing was just a stupid prank to see if I would barge my way in to their issues and make them my own. I ended up feeling embarrassed but then realised that it was ultimately my fault for barging in despite it being a group chat. Then I promised once more that I would get better and be less cynical but I can already tell it's not going to last.
I want to change. I really do. But I don't how I can. And I need your help. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
ywFuwc6N1jGmK3mc5VRkETWecUapCZei | a3pm5p | {
"description": "basically telling a group project member to fuck off after she tried to apologize for not doing work",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for basically telling a group project member to fuck off after she tried to apologize for not doing work? | Backstory:
I’m currently a senior in college. In one of my classes we had a poster project. The project was fairly simple: find a management method used in farming and make a poster about it.
In the group were two other girls (let’s call them Elle and Ree) and myself. We had plenty of time to get the project done, and the project was fairly simple so I wasn’t too worried about it.
Also important: this class only meets once a week, so most communication through the group is online.
Actual story:
A week and a few days before the project is due I make a GoogleDoc so that we can all work on the poster together and get it done. A few days pass by and I notice neither group member has done any work on the project. Frustrating but whatever, people get busy. I continue working on the poster, no biggie.
The next time class meets I go up to Elle and Ree and ask if they got the invitation to edit the Google Doc. Ree said she got it and will work on it later. Elle said she never got the invite. (This should’ve been a red flag but I thought nothing of it) I tell her no worries, I’ll send another one and add her on Facebook so we could communicate easier (our communication before that was through email).
When I get home I add Elle and Ree on Facebook, both accept within a few hours and I make a group chat. I send the link to the Google Doc and all is good. Ree replies and says she’ll get started.
A day passes and Elle still hasn’t opened the message. Weird. Maybe she doesn’t go on Facebook a lot. I send her a private message asking if she’s received the group chats and see if that works. A little while after that I see Elle has posted a status update on her page. Even though she has yet to reply to me. All my messages to her are still unopened, yet it says she was active minutes ago. This is where I start to get frustrated. I cannot get a hold of this girl.
A few days pass, Ree got her shit done and I got my shit done, but there’s still shit to do. Elle is still MIA, I’ve accepted the fact that she will not be contributing to this project. Maybe she got a new group? Maybe she’s dead? Well actually, She can’t be dead bc she’s still updating her fb page.
We submit our project. It was good but not great, you definitely needed three people for the amount of work it was and we only had two. Elle still has not replied to any message and has done absolutely nothing to contribute to this project.
I let our professor know that we tried to get ahold of her to no avail. He replies that he will take that into consideration while grading.
A few days later I receive a message from her:
“Hey sorry I've been a piece of garbage human being for the last couple weeks. I have no excuse. I've been really discouraged with school but it's no excuse to not even participate. The poster look awesome! Again, I really apologize for being completely absent. Hope you have a good Thanksgiving!”
She also lets me know that she got a zero on the project and starts saying it’s “exactly what she deserved.”
Instead of accepting her apology I reply with:
“We let [professor] know that we couldn’t get ahold of you. Honestly if you would’ve warned us beforehand that you would be MIA it wouldn’t have been a big deal. Everyone goes through rough patches. But not replying was messed up. (Even after I talked to you in class about the project and you let me know you would get working on it). Hope school gets better for you. Good luck”
Her final reply to me was:
“Well that's unfortunately how I deal with things when I get depressed- I withdraw. Again, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say but I figured I'd apologize for it because I knew it was garbage of me. Thanks, I hope it does too”
AITA for giving this girl a 0 on the project and not accepting her apology? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
Ctfm0U4ZWxu1SloRhIVqJqoi1wfQmQBc | 9z2t0f | {
"description": "not wanting to go to Thanksgiving",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for not wanting to go to Thanksgiving? | This might sound like I'm being childish. When ever I'm around family I feel super uncomfortable, mainly because I don't love or even like my parents (mostly my dad). I'm 17 almost 18 and I want to start to take control over my life and my parents drag me places and make decisions for me. I've started to push their buttons more and we've began arguing again, but I've stopped caring. Family means nothing to me. They say "You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family". But I think thats wrong, I can make my own family, other people who care about me, and I them. I know there has to be some one out there who hates waking up to the same untrustworthy people evey damn day. Although I could just be being a brat about this. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
EsTgr5Gggz9kwn02wYk33kZurReRM6Hg | a1d6tk | {
"description": "breaking up due to my girlfriends past promiscuity",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I (30m) break up due to my girlfriends(23f) past promiscuity? |
3 years ago my college girlfriend and I amicably ended our 8 year relationship. I spent the next 2.5 years improving myself, going to the gym, working on my art, etc. This caused me to receive unwanted attention from sort of aggressive women that had a hard time taking no for an answer. I turned these women down because I was believed there is a woman out there that would be a great match for me and I strongly did not want to become one of the men that used women for sex and hurt peoples feelings (I was raised by a single mom and her string of shitty boyfriends).
6 months ago I met a woman in an uber. She is super outgoing and kind. We agreed to meet up the following day. I completely fell in love with her and we started hanging out nonstop. I had never felt this sort of burning passion for another person, I was completely sure this was meant to be.
While drinking one night she said a few sort of crazy things. She talked about rubbing her last "flings" semen on her face because it is good for her skin. She told me she enjoyed licking mens buttholes. She described how she cheated on her exboyfriend with her drug dealer earlier in the year and how they would do anal sex without lube. She described drunkenly trying to drag a man into a restroom to sleep with him and then being locked in the restroom yelling angrily that she wanted to fuck him. She described nearly participating in sex work out of curiosity but backing out after not being selected by the men that came in. This was all a shock to me because she did not seem like this sort of person.
All this really soured my feelings for her but I thought maybe I was just being a prude and she explained it as her having a problem with alcohol that causes her to act out sexually. I asked her to not share any more of her past sexual exploits and I said she shouldn't feel bad about any past mistakes because the past does not define us, we can choose who we want to be.
A couple weeks later I started noticing issues with my penis. Sex was sometimes painful. Two white growths appeared on head of my penis. A bunch of lighter spots appeared on the shaft. A sort of shiny discolored lump at the base of my penis. Blood during ejaculation at one point. I have gone to many doctors and spent a great deal of money trying to fix these health issues and they are still persistent.
I have had very strong feelings of love for her but 4 months of health problems have worn me down. Each time I see these strange spots or feel pain on my penis I think of her cheating with her drug-dealer, licking his asshole and how I now carry his diseases. This very much feels like I have massively fucked up my life as now I cannot even consider a relationship with another woman because I would be risking giving the new woman whatever health issues I have.
I feel guilty for no longer having the love I did. I feel guilty for being angry with her and myself. I feel guilty for thinking I have to break up with her. I feel guilty for not breaking up with her.
She has been amazingly kind, thoughtful and loving to me during the 6 months we have been together. If I were not carrying the diseases/viruses/infections or whatever from her ex-boyfriends/flings/etc. then I would be 100% certain this is the woman I was going to marry. Instead it feels like I have to break up with her and spend the next couple years minimum alone until I can be certain I am not going to pass anything on.
Am I the asshole? Or am I an idiot for thinking a monogamous person can have a relationship with someone into hookup culture.
tl/dr: fell in love with girl, found out she cheats/has meaningless sex, got stds/infections from her, want to break up even though it means I'll be single for years.
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
L19pz8AmTTluBJSVi80tDCqKFYhRmcm9 | ar3t8p | {
"description": "not forgiving him",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for not forgiving him? | Alright, saw this Reddit in a Youtube video by Cuestar.
My good friend from awhile ago, let's call him Austin, and I were in 8th grade when this happened, so any "relationship" probably isn't going last through the summer unless you live in the same town, and even then it is difficult.
Austin was known as a "No I won't tell anybody, I swear..." kinda person if you know what I mean. I knew who he'd had a crush on for awhile, and he'd always wondered about who I wanted to be with.
I think Austin realized who it was when I let her go in front of me as we were getting off the bus, at least this is the moment I believe he figured it out. It was also quite blatant that I was allowing her to go in front of me on purpose because I had cut off other people but let her go.
Anyways he kept asking and asking but i kept denying and denying it. But after awhile he would find me between classes just to ask and it started to get annoying. So I finally just told him, thinking it would just get him off my back.
Well...no, it did not. He spread it like a wildfire, and somehow (I am STILL confused to this day how) Emily(not her real name but my crushes "name") didn't hear. I think it was that it was so big her friends just assumed she heard it somewhere and had not told her.
I was so angry and upset that I told everyone who he liked, and boy did everyone think I was the biggest "asshole" for even doing that. No one believed me though because his crush (let's say Jada, although not important to the story really) and I have hated each other since kindergarten. So everyone thought I was lying just to embarrass her.
About 3 weeks pass and Austin comes up to me in my seat on the bus and sits next to me. I try to persuade him otherwise by moving my legs and bags in his way. He asked me if he could sit and I said, "Sorry not enough room." but I looked around the bus and saw the bus had no other open seats, so I caved. He sat down and he mumbled something almost like he wanted me to ask what he'd said. I ignored him.
As we were stepping off the bus, he'd tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I forgive you for telling everyone." I was like, "Huh?" He started it, and he was forgiving me?? I was so angry for the rest of the year that no "sorries" were said to one another.
Eventually we both moved on but we were never as good friends again. Barely even spoke to each other.
TL;DR My friend told everyone about my crush and I respond by revealing his and everyone hated me. He "forgave" me like i started it, and never said sorry for what he did. I never said sorry either.
So wise Redditors Am I The Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
EUEh1WuOTKQLDlgMmhgCzX4FjhXqPPcS | a0c58o | {
"description": "making my dad wait 37 minutes when he was picking me up from work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for making my dad wait 37 minutes when he was picking me up from work? | To start my story, I work at a theme park, and I can't drive yet, and I also live about 30 minutes away from the theme park. Usually I can get a ride from a coworker, but I wasn't able to yesterday. So, I called my dad to come pick me up.
Anyway, Its a fucking theme park which I can go to for free, so of course I play in the park after my shift while I wait for my dad to come. Anyway, my dad doesn't always leave home right away, it usually takes home about 30 minutes to an hour to get to where I work. I have had to get a ride from him about 7 or 8 times in the past.
So all of those 7 or 8 of those times, when he was in the parking lot, he would call or text me to let me know he was there. So in the past, it would only take about 1 or 2 minutes after he called for me to walk over to the car.
Anyway, about an hour goes by after I asked him for a ride, and I get a text from him. So I start walking over to the car. But, my manager saw me walking towards the parking lot and asked me a scheduling question, so I was held up a few extra minutes.
I finally get to the car, and my dad seemed super pissed, and said "I thought you were never gonna show up". I was really confused, so I looked at my phone To see how long ago it was that he texted me, and it was about 7 minutes.
So, I said "oh sorry about that, my manager wanted to ask me if I could come in on Wednesday"
And he says "and it took THAT long!"
I was still confused, but I kind of sarcastically said "oh sorry for making you wait 7 minutes". He said that it was WAY longer than 7 minutes. I was still really confused, so I said "oh, did I not get one of your texts?" He then never actually answered my question and started calling me a crazy spoiled brat, and accused me of talking to girls instead of coming out to the parking lot. He also called me a piece of shit, and that really frustrated me after I had been fucking working all day long and dealing with the thanksgiving weekend rush. So I kinda doubled down and said "you really can't wait 7 minutes?"
Anyway, I definitely shouldn't have said that, cause that only escelated the situation, but he eventually told me that it isn't his responsibility to text me when he comes and picks me up.
he explained that he had shown up about 30 minutes after I called him, but he was on the phone with somebody, and didnt want to hang up on them, and that is why he didn't text me right after he showed up. So he probably had to wait about 35 minutes.
Anyway, after a long silent car ride he took my phone because "I needed to understand that there are consequences for my actions". I don't really give a shit about him taking my phone because I have 2 backup phones, but its still hurtful.
This morning he just apologized for swearing at me, and said that he expects me to wait in the parking lot and look for him if I ever ask him for a ride again. Which I think is unfair since literally no other kid that can't drive has to wait in the parking lot. But thats why I'm making this post, I have been thinking about it, and I probably would be pissed if I had to wait that long for someone as well, so AITA?
This story was kind of hard to follow, so I will summarize:
I called my dad for a ride after my shift
Dad shows up in 30 minutes but doesn't text me to let me know he was there, because he was talking on the phone.
He gets of the phone after about 30 minutes waiting in the parking lot and texts me to let me know he is there
I come to the car 7 minutes after he texts me
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
X1FUjAhFSSgDuSp27bIk7hX131D1XXv5 | a0cp98 | {
"description": "telling my dad to put a shirt on",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my dad to put a shirt on? | He's always walking around the house without a shirt. My friends have been sleeping over during the weekend and he still didn't wear a shirt. Me and my friends were talking about it and then the conversation changes to my dad being hot (he's not, he's not even that muscular and just has a ball of muscle instead of actual abs, his beard is also not even groomed properly but anyway.) I was just so grossed out so earlier today I told my dad to put a shirt on. He just laughed it off and treated it like a joke. I told him like five times. Then, I told my mom to tell him and she yelled at me saying that I can't tell my parents what to do. I even told both of them about what happened. I've been extremely persistent with it. My mom kinda cussed me out and said I was being rude. But, you guys, am I missing something? Because I don't feel like an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
EGxQjiaSnjvX8XveZUMGsJMlVnRohveb | av919t | {
"description": "not telling her my passcode on my phone",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not telling her my passcode on my phone? | tonight, I gave my mother my laptop and phone as requested. I’m not sure why she requested for those devices seeing as she did not ask my brother And I use my phone for an alarm in the morning.
Im probably going to be late tomorrow, but it’s ok I guess.
Anyways, I gave her my laptop and then I was being like a bit slow to turn off my notifications because I had a timer set up for 9:30 PM which was to study or to stop studying. She started yelling at me saying, “phone now!” “hold on, let me tur-” then it was her just screaming now repeatedly. So I didn’t turn it off and I handed it to her.
she wants me passcode to my phone.
I told her no. Before anybody says anything about her being my mom and paying for my phone bills. I can’t give her my phone code because I have audio recordings of her saying she’ll beat me and other related things on my phone. I have been planning for two weeks to use that against her to move in with my dad instead. My brother told her I had recorded this.
I don’t have any of the audio backed up. She said if Im being a brat and that she’ll just sell my phone if I don’t tell her the code.
so aita for not giving her the code to a phone she’s paying for or is it ok to not give her my phone code?
​
im really sorry for how this was written, I‘m writing this off of a school iPad and I’m really tired and kind of out of it since I got cut from badminton outs. Just tired, I guess | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
eie17xEBaEHcX57LmHV66iAHSSYEEPFW | b8qqgu | {
"description": "selectively bumming cigarettes",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for selectively bumming cigarettes? | I live in an urban area in the states. If I'm walking to work, chilling at the bar, or just going about my business in general, people will ask me for a cigarette. Obviously this happens more when I'm smoking one, but sometimes when I'm not.
If they offer to buy one for 50 cents or a dollar I'll just give them one if I have some spares. Sometimes people anticipate this and offer to buy one but don't have payment if I accept.
My main concern is if someone is panhandling and I refuse cash, then they ask for a cig, they would normally take one and leave without even smoking it.
I feel if you ask for a cigarette it's cool, but at least smoke it with me rather than pocketing it for later or to sell it later.
Tldr: I'd rather give a cigarette to someone within their means who is polite as opposed to someone down on their luck who is more rude | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cKl1FAuEAblVG9fbMoJKbvnQvZvpgnFO | b5m122 | {
"description": "not wanting to go on a vacation with my sister and her cheating husband",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for not wanting to go on a vacation with my sister and her cheating husband? | A month after my sister was married, she called me hysterically crying thinking her husband was cheating on her. She found a message on his Apple Watch (that she bought him for Christmas) that was sexual to some other woman. It was dated after they were married, but he claimed it was an old text message that synced recently. She said she didn't believe him but soon after everything was okay. She said she believed him and was going to make her marriage work.
Last week, my sister and I had planned on going on a Disney vacation and discussed splitting the costs. I assumed it was my sister, myself, and my two nieces (his step daughters) since she didn't mention him and how the cost was being split between my sister and I equally. Fast forward to today and she stated the 5 of us would be getting Disney shirts made for our trip. I asked her why would we need 5 shirts and she stated her husband would be going too.
I later texted her and told that he's her husband and I respect that but I honestly don't want to go on a vacation with him after what he did to her. She got upset at me and told me what does that have to do with me. She brought up a guy I had been seeing and how he hurt me and she would still have come hang with us because she's my sister and she loves me despite this person hurting me. I told her I would always be cordial to her husband and I don't mind going to a dinner or what not but I don't want to spend 5 days with this person and share a hotel room. I just don't want to spend a considerable amount of time around someone acting fake. Am I wrong for telling her this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
Sg9YLUPco4xtE7IPxwEOOOMrhgOCWFBV | axxcl1 | {
"description": "telling my sisters boyfriend she's had another guy round",
"pronormative_score": 88,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for telling my sisters boyfriend she's had another guy round? | My sister and her boyfriend have been together for 3 years, we'll call my sister Jane and her boyfriend John.
My sister is 5 years older than me and John is 2 years older than her. John from day 1 was always very kind to me (they got together when I was really suffering from depression Jane was always dismissive not believing its a real illness but John had been through it heard me out and gave me advice) so needless to say I respect and have come to see John as the big brother I've always wanted.
My sister and I are close we shared a room until I was 14.
Two weeks ago Jane brings home a guy, I've never seen him before. I spot him in the hall, say Hi (I mean its my house of course I'm gunna say hi to someone if I bump into them in the hall) Jane calls him into her room rather abruptly.
Pops her head out the bedroom door shoots me looks.
The guy then proceeds to stay the night and is gone by 9am the next morning.
I ask Jane the usual (who was that, why did he stay ect) she's very dismissive almost aggressive which is unlike her but she makes it clear this is not something John should know about.
Me and John regularly text nothing big just chatting. So I shoot him a text telling everything.
He says he's not going to out and out confront her but will dig into it. But I know it will eventually come around that I told him
So AITA for telling my sisters boyfriend instead of keeping her secret? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 87,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 88,
"WRONG": 16
} | RIGHT |
TYwEqqtuG8Z8wSgWkxBgsFH4u1HSkZ9a | b4i8bm | {
"description": "arguing with manager after I'm being told we can't feed our children with food we brought from home",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for arguing with manager after I’m being told we can’t feed our children with food we brought from home? | Me and my friend and our two children( 16 month old) went to a leisure center ( we are in UK). Took our kids to do some activities in this center, afterwards went to a cafe (in this same building) , we bought coffee and some sandwiches and cake for dessert, sitting at the table , eating, minding our own business , along comes the same lady who sold me coffee and food and tells we can’t eat food that’s not purchased here. At this moment my friend is feeding her daughter with baby food from pouch and some bread she likes. To which my friend tells the lady that she’s feeding her child! Lady walks away! My friend walks to her and tries to explain that her daughter unfortunately is a picky eater! Lady replays that there’s lots to buy in the cafe! Friend insists that her child wouldn’t eat cafe food! Lady calls her aggressive ( my friend definitely is NOT aggressive!) .
My friend comes back in tears, now comes Manager and asks if we are alright. To which I try to explain the whole situation. His response is that’s their company policy! We have been going to this centre and cafe many times before and this was first time someone said we can’t give children their own food. Actually this is first time ever someone said anything, we’ve went to many different cafes and restaurants with kids and this has never been an issue! So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
uN5rq0haL7fJlA6SbD9cx6d7jXO3Keja | ahrgln | {
"description": "interrupting a Target worker helping someone else",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for interrupting a Target worker helping someone else? | For some background, I’m at Target looking for a coat rack, but I’ve been looking for quite some time and can’t seem to find the right section. I see a worker who’s helping another lady and I don’t want to interrupt them, so I stand close by to wait until they’re done. They take quite a while and start walking through the store and rummaging through things. I don’t want to seem like I’m stalking them, so while the worker is looking through some things on the shelf I walk up to him. Me will be me, W will be the worker and L will the lady.
Me: Hi, could you please point me in the direction of the coat racks.
W: Yea sure, they’re right over...
L: (interrupts him) excuse me but that was really rude if you to interrupt us. While you go find your coat racks, now I need to go find someone else to help me.
Me: oh sorry about that. It’ll just take a second to point me in the right direction.
L: (already walking away) no, you need to be considerate and your actions are really rude. You just wasted all of my time.
W: (shrugs and looks at me) they’re over there.
Me: Thank you! (proceeds to walk away)
I didn’t think that someone could get this upset about me asking a quick question. Is what I did unreasonable and should I have just followed them around the store until they were done? For reference, I didn’t see another worker when I was following them, but if I did see one I would have asked someone else instead.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
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