id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
L1djtbpFWINk5bqhhCOxkmgum1q3kebT | b7vr2e | {
"description": "asking about getting a car like I was told",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | WIBTA for asking about getting a car like I was told? | I’m 16 and about two months away from getting my license. I’ve never been a really eager driver, so the concept of having my own car is exciting but also nowhere near at the front of my mind. My mom, however, has been telling me for the last two weeks that I need to bring up the concept of me getting a car to my dad. They both have talked about it in first of me before this— they want to get me a Jeep, they asked me what color I want, etc...
And that’s awesome! It was exciting to have parents so eager to talk about this stuff, and I absolutely recognized my privilege.
That is, until I finally brought it up at dinner tonight.
I asked my dad a hesitant question: “Hey dad, I know the dates a little far off, but I was wondering when it gets closer if we could talk about getting a car?”
My dad stops before giving a short, almost incredulous chuckle— “Why do you assume you’re getting a car?”
I was taken aback by this. I followed up with “If I need to buy my own car, that’s fine— just let me know, so that I can start planning on how to save up.” (I’m currently not working; I’m a full time AP/DE student who hardly has time to sleep, let alone work; I’ve been planning on getting a job literally the day summer break starts so I can start accruing an income, per my parents complaints and my desire to be more independent).
My mom (who, mind you, TOLD ME to ask in the first place) says matter-of-factly, “Why didn’t you just assume you’d be paying for it in the first place?”
I was, again, taken aback— all previous conversations had been 100% about them buying me a car— even when I objected! However, I’m not going to turn my nose up at a generous offer, because I feel that would be ungrateful.
So I kind of laugh like “Sorry for asking— forget it” and my mom storms off dramatically, saying she “Can’t even have a conversation with me”— I’m then told it was a “bad look on me” to have ‘assumed’ I was getting a car by my dad.
Here’s the thing— I hardly even WANT a car. I NEED a car. I wait for upwards of over an hour every day after school for one of my family members to come pick me up (and it’s treated like a chore and a bother— “Alright, who’s turn is it to pick up OP?” “Not me, you do it!”), and I can’t walk because we live over 3 miles of dense hilly roads away from my house with no sidewalks (and I’m not in that school’s “zone”, so busing is not an option”).
I don’t even get why I was baited into asking if I was gonna get painted like the asshole for even having asked. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
g5PQLaetpV5jYXjWsWOfaiTVRcaIiiRf | avmizi | {
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend with mental health issues",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I broke up with my girlfriend with mental health issues? | Title sounds pretty bad but hear me out. I’ve been dating this girl for about a month now. I like her a lot and the relationship is actually pretty good. We relax together, introduced each other to our respective favourite video games and as such spend a lot of time playing them with each other. Things have been good so far but for the past week or so her behaviour has been very up and down. She has very intense mood swings, and I mean really intense. One moment everything is fine and then one little thing such as her burger has onions on it sends her crashing down.
I have depression and anxiety myself, so I get it. Sometimes it’s the straw that broke the camels back, but every little straw breaks the poor camels back here. It’s getting very tough to always be the loving supportive boyfriend when she knows she has these struggles and refuses to try new medication or resume her old cycle of meds because “it’s like chemical castration” according to her. I get that a healthy sex drive is important but when you have depression so bad getting your order at a restaurant wrong ruins your mood for the whole day, sometimes sacrifices have to be made.
I really like this girl but it’s getting very hard to balance my own mental health with hers. I’m scared to bring these concerns up with her for fear that she’ll just go straight to the worst case scenario and do something drastic. I’m just not sure she’s the right one for me and I’m genuinely wondering if I would be the asshole if I broke up with her or if the way I feel is justified. I’d even take a middle ground solution because I do like her but her refusal to get the help she clearly (and self admittedly,) needs makes me hesitant to continue the relationship well. So WIBTA? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XJwco2fNkOOt5OgigaFqJGDrscGfjYze | apl0jy | {
"description": "pretending I'm not home rather accept a neighbour's parcel",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for pretending I'm not home rather accept a neighbour's parcel | Drives me f***ing insane the number of parcels that couriers come around with for people who are out down the street. I cba to act as a postal depot just because I decided to work from home one day when everyone else is out at work.
But of course, it's great if my neighbour takes in one of my packages... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
DVzMykjsIQc6czKXP9t6WZu3H9YBp8vx | ammrgg | {
"description": "not wanting my family using my things",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I don’t want my family using my things | This is probably the most bratty thing I have ever said, but Im honestly over it and I just wanna know if I have the right to be annoyed by it.
So I live with my mother, step father and my 4 younger sibling (all around my age) Im 16 and I have just gotten a low paying job so I have started buying my own things because it’s only fair to when I have the money to spend. But recently Whenever I get home I find my things have been taken by my mother (shampoo and shit like that), she constantly lets my siblings use my things and I end up running out of them then when I need to use them. It makes me so annoyed that all the things I have payed for just disappear.
AITA for wanting my things to be left alone or at least them asking before just taking/using them?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
JOU25Ui0OhNp9yz36jkykvR6TQGf7VXx | b17f0k | {
"description": "wanting to kick out my brother again knowing he has no one left",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for wanting to kick out my brother again knowing he has no one left | This is a clusterfuck of a story, prepare. Throwaway because my friends know my main.
So I'm a 20y/o female with three brothers (all older) and live together with my mom and youngest brother. The main character in this post is my 32 yo brother, let’s call him Arlo. His life is really fucked up. His relationship fell apart, he doesn't see his kid often, doesn't have a job (or a degree), hangs out with the wrong types of people, parties a lot, ends up wasting what little money he has, gets into trouble, etc. The point is, it sucks.
We're family, in my culture that means that when we need each other, we all help.
Arlo would give me some pocket money when I was younger and even bought me a nice phone together with his gf. During his relationship he was at his best. Life was good and he would visit a lot with his family.
The relationship fell apart because of reasons and everything went downhill. She got the house, so Arlo had to move out. He would lend money from my mom (€1000+), brother, his friends and me (accumulated to €1000+) to buy food, furniture for his new home, and to just get by . **He never bought furniture or payed rent.** He lost his home. Myself, I got into debts because I trusted him one too many times.
Now finally the situation: He lives with us now and almost never pays ANYTHING, but does go out to his ‘friends’ and parties a lot. Last Thursday his phone died and he was bored. The next day he asked for the password to my tablet so he could have something to do, now this tablet I got to use for school and don’t even lend to my MOM. I said no, **big mistake.**
He yelled and swore at me, threatening to break it if I didn’t unlock it. *I lost my shit.* I screamed “Break it, see what I’m gonna do.” **He broke it**. I called the cops as he was threatening to hurt me. Cops came, told him to leave and consoled me, told me to press charges against him for damages of property if he didn’t replace the tablet within two weeks. Mom kicked him out. After three days my mom told me that he called saying hadn’t eaten since that day and was sleeping in his friend’s car.
I had a long talk with my mom and basically said “It’s your house and you are entitled to bring in anyone you want, but I can’t live with him without rules.” My mom called him and told him he could sleep home again but to not interact with me at all. My mom and him will talk tonight about him needing to fic his life or she will kick him out for good. He has 8 days left to replace the tablet and after that I’m pressing charges.
Now my mom and I are close, so WIBTA if I convinced her to kick him out if he doesn’t replace my property or attempts to get his life together within these 8 days, even if that means he will not have any means to buy food or a place to stay? I fucking hate him, but I still feel bad as he is family and has no support system except my mom and me, as my other brothers hate his guts and completely REFUSE to help him anymore. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8YUnHhV2CbWTlsjqoMa116MbViWEHFAN | 9z0omk | {
"description": "falling in love with a very close friend and deciding to end the friendship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA - I fell in love with a very close friend and decided to end the friendship | I met a person who I really connected with and they felt the same way. We started spending more and more time with each other and I decided to move things to the next step to which I discover she is an avid party goer and makes out with strangers etc. I know we are not dating or anything so I have no right to be upset and it is totally okay for her to do that, it's just that I feel like a piece of me dies everytime I hear about it from mutual friends. (I don't go to parties anymore) I have talked to her about this but she just got out of a relationship and does not want another one which I respect and accept. I just don't know if I can be friends with her when I like her as much as I do without being constantly hurt due to no fault of her own. AITA for ending it?Drunk post sorry if things don't make sense. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Ap2e3K5YYrujSxpKdXgYvayvCYmoej2P | b9yi9s | {
"description": "wanting my college roommate's girlfriend to stop staying over",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my college roommate's girlfriend to stop staying over? | Throwaway because I'm unsure if they browse reddit or not.
​
One of my roommates (I have two) used to never be around last semester. However, he now brings his girlfriend over every single day, and she spends the night every single night. I used to be okay with it, but they've slowly ate away at my nerves. I'll list some of the things that they do.
​
For clarification, the bad roommate is BR, the good roommate is GR, and my roommate's girlfriend is RG
​
Firstly, and most annoyingly, they have sex while me and GR are still in the room. Generally in the early morning while they think we're still asleep. This would be fine if we were actually asleep, but we're not. They're rather noisy and it's painfully obvious while they're doing this. My desk is also situated under their bed, so they think they can get away with doing it while I'm the only one in the room. News flash, the bed rocks back and forth pretty noticeably. This really wouldn't be an issue if they didn't do it while we were in the room. I've asked several times for them to let us know before they do it so we can leave.
​
Secondly, when they do wait for us to leave the room to do their thing, they lock the door without telling us. I've been locked out for hours while they fuck around in the room with my keys, wallet, and phone on my desk. I knock, but they don't get up to answer. This wouldn't be an issue if they waited until I went out to my classes or to get food, but they literally lock the door when I get up to use the bathroom or something where I don't have my ID and keys with me.
​
Thirdly, when they decide NOT to lock the door, they don't text us and tell us to knock before coming in. I've walked in on them so many times, I've lost count. I don't think I should be familiar with what they look like naked, but I am, because they have no courtesy. They used to text us, but they just stopped.
​
FIFTHLY, they are ALWAYS wasted. They both have SEVERE drinking issues and all of the above just gets ten-times worse when they're drinking. They've both vomited on the floor of our room and refuse to clean it up. They're also just slobs in general, as I found out recently. I went and did a deep-clean of the room because my allergies were acting up and I found a bin of cleaning supplies that BR hasn't touched since the beginning of the year. Well, I move the bin to clean behind it and I find two dead spiders, three dead cockroaches, and WHITE MOLD caking the underside of the bin and behind it. Needless to say, I sprayed the hell out of it with the bleach from his bin. It was absolutely FOUL. RG also leaves out food she brings over and fills mine and GR's fridge shelves with her food that she leaves there to rot.
​
I brought this up with our floor administrator, and he said that I should be more courteous of them because it is their space, too. Now I'm conflicted, because the FA is pretty chill. Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
T0UxqzHUlzACBaCPHwTm1DsJjfj5JJSq | b7pueh | {
"description": "being mad at my sister for not coming home",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being mad at my sister for not coming home? | First time post here, and I'm writing on mobile, so yee.
Cast:
M; Mom.
D; Dad.
BS; Big Sister.
Me: Mary Poppins.
So a bit of background, I share a room with my 18-year old, still not moved out sister. She's almost never home so I usually have the room to myself.
As you all know, it's mother's day. About 10 minutes ago, while we were on a bus, M got a text from BS saying she wasn't coming home today.
M was slightly upset - it's mother's day, after all. She could've come home for even 5 minutes.
D said it's normal for her, and she only thinks about herself.
Also, she's not even out of town. She just wants to stay at her friend's house literally every night.
I was pretty annoyed, but then again, BS does this alot. I get it, she's 18 now, she can do what she likes; but she didn't even say a simple, 'Happy mother's day,' to her.
I kind of want to contact her about it but I know she'll get all defensive.
AITA for getting mad at her? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
qjkNeYm57CSOMDzfyOA7ZKIIDpGHWucy | b9vot2 | {
"description": "telling my mom she is shallow",
"pronormative_score": 162,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my mom she is shallow? | I am 13. I have braces. We were getting our school photos taken and my mom told me NOT to smile with my mouth open during the photo so my braces don't show. I said okay but was unsure of how to look good in the photo with my mouth closed. (I'm not good at smiling with my mouth closed.)
When it was my turn to get my photo taken, the camera man told me to smile. I am not good at speaking up, so I just sat there uncomfortably and moderately smiled, or tried to, with my mouth closed. The camera guy again said, "Come on, give me a smile!" I gave in and gave a nice, big smile. He was very friendly and not at all condescending.
Later, when my mom saw the photo she got angry with me and said "I TOLD you not to smile with your mouth open." I told her that the camera man told me to smile so that's why I did. I then told her that she was being shallow for being so upset about my braces showing and caring so much about what other people will think when they see this picture. (She cares a LOT about how her kids look to other people, especially relatives.) Yes braces are unattractive, but they're part of who I am for the time being, they're fixing my teeth, so why hide them??
She again got angry at me for calling her shallow (disrespectful) and that I should have listened to her and not the camera man.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 158,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 162,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
1BABR0LOUKny9yunb11XGXg9uNREwNcz | aaarwl | {
"description": "finding my girlfriend to be rough in bed",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for finding my girlfriend to be rough in bed? | My girlfriend and I (male) have been having great sex. However she has been wanting to try harder sex with her on top. She is only a small thing but she can be quite rough. I don’t want to put her off though. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
zfvmIk6rYrMZh130XcFKJO7BeGvJecDX | au6tz1 | {
"description": "not wanting to invite my dad to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to invite my dad to my wedding? | Really quick back story: My dad walked out when I was 7. Cheated on my mum with a woman who he eventually married (I wasn't invited). He only saw my sister and I around birthdays and Christmas and I eventually stopped seeing him for years.
When my sister got married last year she invited my dad because she still keeps in touch with him. I was planning to ignore him but his mrs cornered me and my fiance making small talk and eventually inviting themselves to our town to catch up.
We have all now met up for 2 fairly awkward meals. Now that I'm preparing for my own wedding I feel like I ought to involve them to some degree. Like not inviting them to any part of my wedding is an obvious snub.
If we hadn't met recently he wouldn't even know I was getting married. I don't think I'll invite him to the main day but I'm thinking evening just out of politeness. Am I an arsehole if I just snub him and don't bother inviting him at all? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
uz6vuYYgn2cth1EQHjAAV3n6NeKbS7l8 | b763gu | {
"description": "telling my family I don't want to move back home",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I told my family I don't want to move back home? | I'm a senior in college and I will be graduating in a few months. My family lives an hour away from where I go to school and have been pressuring me to move back home after graduation. My relationships with some of them aren't bad but they aren't good either. The best relationship is with my mother who would give me her last dime if I needed it. My sister and father on the other hand are much different. They are essentially the same person in that they want to dictate everything, be in control, and they are never wrong. I'm definitely the black sheep of the family and when I do go home I feel like a visitor instead of a family member. Not because of how they treat me I just have different interests and passions than the three of them. I have mentioned this to my mother and it broke her heart so I haven't mentioned it again. However with graduation looming they keep asking when I'm moving back home but I'd honestly rather get a job and stay here.
TL:DR I'm the black sheep in my family and don't want to move back home with some family members I don't have the best relationships with.
WIBTA if I told them I don't want to come home? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GNy9HHDOj77WEoWQuv6YJDNOw5emeP6t | 9xb3ji | {
"description": "kicking my brother out of my house",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for kicking my brother out of my house? | Okay, so this is a bit of a read and I'm on mobile so, sorry in advance for shitty formatting.
I would like to start this whole wall of post out by saying I love my brother to death, I really do. In fact, what's so frustrating is our family loves him more than he loves himself it seems like. But anyways, let's get on with the story.
My brother is 21 years old, I'm 18 years old. He's has been moving between my grandparents house and my parents house for the last 4 years. And for about the past year my parents have been making me pay rent to sleep in my room. Which isnt a problem, but since hes moved back in I've been coming home every day and sleeping in the floor, and not being able to play my xbox when I want to is very frustrating when he doesn't help me pay anything at all. Today were gonna talk about the most recent move back- in. Here's how yesterday went.
I was coming home from working my 8th 12 hour shift in a row and I was really tired. (he called into work for the 4th time since starting his job 1 month ago.) As soon as I walked into the house the conversation went like this.
Brother-"hey wanna go with me to trade my car?"
Me-"Not really, I'm super tired"
Immediately the conversation went downhill and got physical. This is what followed.
Brother-"See this is exactly what I'm talking about you never want to do anything with me"
Me-"i just got done working 12 hours dude I'm tired and I want to eat something"
At this point hes started doing off on a rant about how "you're gonna die alone because all you care about is yourself."
I don't really know what to think because he's right, I really dont care about cars or learning about them or going to the car meets like he always begs me to go do with him, but like I'm always so tired and the car meets are kind of of long drive away and they end later than I'd like to be out. I usually don't take days off from work either. (6:30/6:30)
Back to the story he started pushing me and not letting me open the fridge door or the pantry. So, I decided I would just go to my girlfriends house and cook some food with her.
I went upstairs to MY room to grab my new chessboard and he stood in the way of the steps and wouldn't move. So we got into a shoving match on the stairs. I ended up just jumping over the railing of the stairs and running outside. I got in my car and he gets on the fucking hood of my car, and that's it. He just sits there and has the dumbest smile on his face. I have a video too of him on the car and me yelling at him to get off.
Well long story short my mom called me asking what happened between us and now they're throwing him out again.
He has no problem sleeping in a car but I dont want him to do that, this is like the 50th time something like this has happened and he always gets thrown out and ends up coming back because I keep feeling bad like I'm a dick for not being the best brother I can be.
I've given him everything, my room, my bed,
SO.MUCH.MONEY, and he just does stuff like this and idk I just feel like the asshole for throwing my brother out onto the streets. What do you guys think?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
egyV3qu3vemfEwg8hC9mGLyL9eAdwAPi | afbaev | {
"description": "ghosting someone and not telling them I miscarried their baby",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for ghosting someone and not telling them I miscarried their baby | Context-
This all happened from last summer over a couple of months, but its something that seems to be reintroducing itself into my life.
Last june, I (at the time a 16 y/o trans male) had taken a break from my boyfriend (at the time 18 y/o cis male) . The relationship wasn't bad, but being young we decided to take some time apart to explore more. We had been dating since early highschool, so around 13, and neither of us wanted to miss out on the sluttiness of our teen years.
I never really got a chance to meet anyone, but I did enjoy the freedom of flirting with people and so I downloaded grindr, which I know isn't right for someone of that age but everyone else I knew was on it and I thought it might be a laugh. Plus I was very honest about my age to anyone I spoke to.
I instantly met one guy (late 30s-early 40s)who very quickly offered me money for sex.
I'm not a rich person, I go to art college, and only because its free at my age but I still have to put a lot of money into supplies, and I live with my family, though we're always having a lot of money issues, mostly due to debt. At first I thought it would be some money to spend on myself, I dont often have money to throw around so I considered it, but told him I'd think about it.
He kept sending me messages like 'but I want to see you now!' and I'll pay more to see you tonight' an being overall very demanding to see me, as well as asking for pictures, which I sent, despite it being as late as 1am, and me having college in the morning. I hate people talking to me like that, and can't stand being pressured into doing things because I tend to make stupid decisions when I am, which I did, and I said I would meet him but only if he picked up condoms on the way.
I didn't give him my address but told him to meet me close by and it took him over an hour to get here because he lived that far away from me.
He had a pretty expensive looking car, and when he arrived, I took half the money upfront (£30) and we did what we did in his car.
The sex itself was really painful, forgive the detail but as a trans guy, I was used to anal sex with my now ex bf, but we had normal sex as he hadn't brought any lube and I wasnt about to tear something for him. I told him I wasn't comfortable and it was quite painful and id be happy to give the money back or give him a blowjob instead, but he demanded either sex or anal and being pinned down in someone's car doesn't leave for an easy exit. In the end, I didn't orgasm but he did, not that I was expecting an amazing time in some guys car.
He paid the last £20 and offered me a cigarette and a lift home. We spoke about religion (he was muslim and I'm religious too) and how our families not accepting him being gay and me being trans. it was the middle of the night and freezing even in summer and I stated very explicitly that I wanted to leave but he insisted on talking and then giving me a lift home and not letting me go until I said yes. I still wasnt willing to give him my address and instead got dropped off early, claiming to live across a field that he couldn't drive over, and I walked the rest of the way.
The money was pretty good and from there we started meeting more, and over the course of a couple of weeks, i had saved up about £400 which helped out with bills and things back home, under the guise that I had just been working more hours at my part time job.
Things slowly started to get more and more uncomfortable with him, if we were having sex and I asked him to give me a moment or to change position because something was hurting, he would totally ignore me and even once when I downright told him to stop, he continued.
I stopped seeing him for a while after that as the summer holidays came around and I started to work more for my actual job, and I was at the point where money didn't seem like a good trade for our nightly activities. He was starting to scare me, it's not easy to sneak out at midnight and meet a guy for carpark sex as a teenager. I sent him a text saying I probably wouldn't see him for a while, blaming it on work and college making me work late hours.
The messages he sent back were pretty violent, calling me a whore and a bitch, threatening me, claiming he knew where I lived and so I started to ignore him.
eventually i noticed that I hadn't had a period. I worried more and more until I bought a pregnancy test which came up positive. I hadn't spoken to the guy in about 2 weeks, my mother would have killed me if she found out I'd had sex for money and gotten pregnant and the idea of being pregnant just seemed to crush my identity as a trans person and I didn't want to deal with the emotional damage that would bring.
I didn't tell anyone except my ex at the time, who welcomed the news with open arms. He said that it was my choice whether to have the child, but either way he'd support me and help wherever needed, even if I decided to keep the dad out of the picture.
By this time, the guy I had paid had calmed down, and tried apologising, quickly going back to his usual messages begging to see me. I needed time to figure out what to do, so I never once replied, nor told him what was happening.
Im a smoker and I drink a lot and my friends always share weed, and I had planned on cutting all of that out, but honestly I found myself having a cigarette every 20 minutes and sleeping barely an hour every night, so I'd gone up to over 40 a day. I never had the choice as to whether I would keep the baby as at 4 weeks I had a miscarriage. Not many people know about this even now, my family doesn't know, the guy doesn't know, even my doctor doesn't know we cause I refused to go in case they told my mother.
Right now, I'm trying to make things work again with my ex. We'd gotten a lot closer after the whole thing, and even thought more about starting our own family once I was out of college and we had a more stable looking situation, but im still upset over what happened, and part of me feels like shit for leaving this guy in the dark about everything that happened.
Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
F9WuAt390vc34anfKUvRdRlqNyDxcdKy | as2090 | {
"description": "looking up my friend in a database to find out if he is a real person and if he has a record",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for looking up my friend in a database to find out if he is a real person and if he has a record? | I have a friend who is older than me and who I have talked to on the phone a few times and I've seen his picture. We recently found out that a few friends of ours are not real people so when I saw a background check ad on pinterest I got curious. I trust my friend but I wanted to know for sure. So I looked him up. He doesn't know. Should I feel guilty for just trying to find out if my friend might not be who I think he is? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bfDpCpe50WaMKab98Txr4HEqR0aIa7tY | 9xbt3g | {
"description": "yelling at my group member for changing my part of the group essay",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for yelling at my group member for changing my part of the group essay? | So I had a college group project which involves 3 pages of text shared amongst 5 group members. The project was due at midnight and I had work that night from 5pm-1am so I did as much work as I could before leaving for work. I did about one page of work on the project and no one else had started until about 2 hours before it was due. Group chat is blowing up on my phone while they are working on it while I'm at work but I just ignore it.
When I get home, I look at the project and how well they did finishing it up. It looks great except for one part, all of my work was rewrote. I'm not talking about edited, I'm talking he deleted everything and rewrote it. It still had conveyed the same information, he just rewrote it with more complicated and dragged out language (stuff you'd see on r/iamverysmart).
I called him out and called him a cunt because from my point of view my contribution for the project was now 0 and he rewrote my portions just to use more complicated language when the rubric says nothing about language as something we are graded on. He replies to me saying that he was just trying to get a better grade on the project.
AITA for calling him out? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
lIoXJzGmQcgykQRr4HOK6BFbLGiAbKeo | b65kob | {
"description": "letting another girl who isn't my girlfriend sleep in my bed",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | WIBTA If I let another girl who isn’t my girlfriend sleep in my bed? | My friend (21f) is visiting me (20f) from out of town soon. My girlfriend (21f) asked where she’d be sleeping and I told her by bed. Ever since I had sleepovers even as a kid my guest would always sleep in the same bed as me. It was never a big deal. My gf was getting a little heated and started asking why she couldn’t sleep on the couch? I told her that seemed a bit rude. Now she’s really upset and angry with me saying how she feels totally uncomfortable with another girl sleeping next to her girlfriend. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
Urqmr3G2RQWtJ3IzLLw71AWNiMMaOzi2 | atv7qm | {
"description": "telling a guy from my school to stop texting my 15 year old little sister",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA For telling a guy from my school to stop texting my 15 year old little sister? | Basically I have a little sister who turned 15 two months ago, whose beEn getting texts from a guy in my highschool whose 17 about to be 18 in a few months.
I have seen how this guy talks about sex and girls and I get weird vibes from him. Ive told my sister this but she keeps telling me to butt out but I know this guy is sort of like a wannabe gangster type (but also like a wannabe intellectual as well, very weird combo but its true).
So i told him directly to stop messaging my sister, hes too old and too freaky for me. After trying and failing to buck me down (getting in my face and asking me to repeat myself) he then tries to say im "sexually gatekeeping" my sister and that hes gonna tell other people that im weird/possibly incestuous.
Honestly it got loud but no violence and we got separated by the AP. Both got an ISS for making threats. My sister is angry at me. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
yG1V2EP8GPT6BxcWipvC0gQ1YNKdrY4S | abk0i5 | {
"description": "outing for my cheating ex boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 16
} | AITA for outing for my cheating ex boyfriend | Me and my ex boyfriend have been broken up for around a year, I have recently become single again and messaged him. He advised he had a new girlfriend and he was happy, however I invited him round and he accepted the offer. Whilst he was at my house we kissed, the next day I saw he uploaded a photo of him and his girlfriend kissing and I commented on the photo saying ‘bit cringe considering you were kissing me yesterday’. Am I the arsehole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 16
} | WRONG |
snLFIzQfdIf6YWYY6AAZnuRQJMWydeTt | aqz6eq | {
"description": "telling gf that I'm not going to give gifts for Valentine's Day anymore",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for telling gf that I’m not gonna give gifts for Valentine’s Day anymore? | So I got my SO some gifts for Valentine’s Day which I always do every year. I don’t expect her to get me anything but something would be nice. So she gets my gifts and says “I have something for you too.” And she sends it over and it’s just a pic of her butt with “happy Valentine’s day”.
So I responded with “not that I don’t like the picture, but do you think a picture of your body makes me feel wanted or appreciated? Asses and nudes of people are easy to come by. So if this is how it’s gonna be, I’m no longer going to give gifts on Vday. I’ll just send you a dick pic.”
Did not go over well, so am I the asshole or what? I know that it’s like a general rule of thumb that men gift flowers/chocolates etc on Valentine’s Day and to be honest I love doing that. But I never receive anything from my SO and it’s not about spending money, it could be anything just the thought is enough. Something that shows they care is all. Like, she’s not just a hole to me or a sex object. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 5
} | RIGHT |
Aye1xkNx58yUyQxGly7TpGdQzBIncLrM | amzbv5 | {
"description": "taking a break from my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for taking a break from my friend? | Context: So... I have pretty high social anxiety. (I haven't been diagnosed but I've had quite a few panic attacks in my day) And I had this friend that we met through a mutual friend. We were fine until he started to snap at me for certain opinons I had that differed from his (like favourite bands). A lot of times I'd say something in a group chat, people would agree and he would litteraly only snap at me. Now to his defense he has a lot of mental health issues that I don't even begin to know the extent of but sometimes I feel he uses this as an excuse to be an ass when he doesn't like what what I say. After that, he stopped talking to me. COMPLETELY. He never texted in the group chat, only privately to our mutual friend. We have two classes together so he'd follow me around because we were friends but he never spoke. Sat next to me in class, said nothing. Sat next to me in lunch, said nothing. This literally made me have a couple attacks because I felt like I was making an embarrassment of myself. It was like trying to talk to a brick wall. I'd say something, and he'd just nod or ignore me. And yet he'd talk to other people, and participate in class. He said he was going through some shit, and I offered to help but he said he was fine. So after all that, I just broke it off for my own mental health reasons. Am I in the wrong? I know he has issues but a lot of it seemed targeted towards me and I couldn't handle it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Y4KSu9WNWxUjnw9uIVrleFc9sy2Co4Tq | b41kft | {
"description": "not wanting my older, ungrateful brother to live with me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my older, ungrateful brother to live with me? | To give you some background, I am 17 and I live with my Mum. My older brother is 19 and lives in my Dad's apartment (Dad not currently in town.) Because of unpaid rent, my brother will get evicted and have to find somewhere to live. He could call our Dad and find another place, but I doubt he will be much help. So my mother feels bad and wants him to live with us. I would honestly not mind it, but I despise how my brother acts.
He used to have a medical condition and I used to sometimes look after him. He treated me with belittlement and entitlement ever since. He always thought I was inferior to him and owed him something. I could've ignored him instead of spending hours every day tending to his needs. But after all I did for him for years, he was never grateful or thankful for anything I did. I only did it because I truly cared for him.
My brother is also a slob and a high school dropout. He acts like a king and expects to be treated as such. He gets me in trouble because he always takes things personally, especially jokes. Because of his condition, he got a free pass for every thing he did. He is spoiled and a Daddy's boy as well. My brother is just a useless prick with no job or direction in life. Last time I saw him months ago, he almost started a physical fight with me. I can tell that he hates me and does not care.
And now I am supposed to welcome him with open arms into my house and once again have to put with his shit. Fuck that. My home is where I am comfortable and in peace, I will not have that taken away. But my Mum probably thinks I am heartless because I don't want anything to do with him. But she has also not seen what I have seen.
So am I the asshole for not helping him out? I know that he is my brother and all, but I just can't do it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BCKPoyeLuAtqGYoKgpVH7fMCQ5gXeoLD | ai6kov | {
"description": "wanting to pack up and donate stuff from my childhood home asap",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to pack up and donate stuff from my childhood home asap? | My parents have been divorced since before I can remember but they stayed in the same town. I’ve grown up in said town and go back and forth each week between their houses.
My dad got a job six hours away and is gonna take it. He’ll need the house cleared out by the end of March. I wanna start making a plan for where everything’s gonna be donated and start to sort though things as soon as possible.
My sister and dad both think I’m acting insensitively by wanting to pack so soon. I just want this move to go smoothly and not be a last minute rush. I‘d love a plan and schedule laid out, everything dealt with now rather than later.
Am I the asshole for preferring to get the huge move and life change done so soon? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BYpZUhR8nfGaNFQloeXl4vm4ZJB8NuoT | b3rhmb | {
"description": "not wanting to give my phone number to a national chain tire store where I'm having a slow leak patched",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to give my phone number to a national chain tire store where I’m having a slow leak patched? | They want my phone number to start a repair ticket. I politely decline.
“I’m sorry, I don’t give out my number.”
“Sorry we can’t help you.”
“Are you saying you don’t do business with people who don’t give you their phone number?”
“Yes”
“Is this company policy?”
“Yes”
“Can you show me in writing that you don’t send my number to corporate home office or won’t add it to a database that you sell to marketers?”
“No”
At this point, all the employees at the front desk are looking at me sideways.
They went ahead and started a repair ticket when I told them I’ve been here before and didn’t give a number. So they CAN do it, they just really want that phone number.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
mMFmH4qEZQZ1KGJBPfOjIJhWM8hmjdb4 | aj2r93 | {
"description": "scheduling service on wife's day off",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for scheduling service on wife's day off? | My wife gets a weekday off from work and uses her time off to catch up on sleep, play games and schedule appointments, etc. She really does not like to do anything before noon and often sleeps in until 11 am or longer on her day off. Im totally fine with her behavior, since its her time and we dont have kids or anything. Where we run into problems is when things need to get done.
Im completely opposite in this area. I cant sleep longer than 8 hours in any given night and on days off, Im up doing things or fixing something. I had MLK holiday off this week and did all kinds of things including cleaning, cooking, taking the dogs to the groomer and other chores. What I didnt manage to get done was call the hvac guy to look at our furnace, which has been acting up recently.
The wife complained our house was cold this morning so I called the hvac guy to look at it. I told her the service window they gave me as soon as I knew it and it happened to be kinda short notice. She kinda flipped out on the phone with me. She was pissed I didnt schedule this on my day off and she didnt want to get ready etc
So my question is did I do an asshole thing scheduling this on her day off? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
GFA9UyTRrfqOSCpbdouRPeQr9RS1AIIn | ajl6km | {
"description": "calling out my Spoiled Rich Friend",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | WIBTA For Calling Out My Spoiled Rich Friend? | So one of my closest friends of almost 5 years recently called me freaking out because her card kept getting declined. Her parents give her money every couple of months to help her cover odds and ends (food,books etc). We’re both 18 year old full time uni students and live at home. Her parents pay for her entire tuition as well. Anyway, turns out she spent her entire $1300 allowance in less than one month on just food and clothes, which really rubbed me the wrong way. This is quite a big deal too because her parents aren’t insanely rich, about middle class same as mine.
She hasn’t worked a day in her life and constantly complains about how her parents don’t let her have any independence, yet she is not only happy to take their money but spend it excessively. It’s just frustrating because I have friends who work full time and still can’t afford to go to university.
But I feel conflicted because it is TECHNICALLY her money and she can spend it how she wants. But in general her belligerence towards money matters and not understanding how lucky she is to not have to stress about money whatsoever is frustrating to me and a couple of other friends.
So I’m just wondering WIBTA if I call her out on her spoiled/entitled attitude or would it be justified? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 11
} | RIGHT |
Mk8gd9Yc10Lo0gFJDxLwtbKfzWpHSJ7P | ak7scn | {
"description": "telling waiter why I was sending back food",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling waiter why I was sending back food? | First Reddit post! I love reading AITA, and this is something that's been preying on my mind so let's do it. I'll TL;DR at the end.
My husband's work team had a social meal out a couple of months ago for everyone to bring their partners. I dont eat animal products so was a bit nervous about the potential of being "that person" at the table, so I phoned ahead and restaurant reassured me that they make vegan versions of lots of their menu items and just to choose on the night. Good stuff!
So I rock up and time comes to order, I ask the waiter what he would reccomend that they can easily make vegan and he gushes about this new menu item they've just added that's a vegan special, squash cabbage wraps with mixed mushrooms. I'm not a fussy eater but I'm not keen on sweet food so said I'd rather have pasta (it was an Italian restaurant) and he said they couldn't do any pasta for me, I asked what other than that meal they could do and he said, well, nothing. So, again not wanting to be that person I kept my disappointment to myself and ordered it.
It arrives and it's really, really bad. I mean objectively bad, not just "not to my taste". The wraps were like boiled mushy baby food and SO sweet, and the mushrooms were incredibly salty. I tried my best to just get it down but I clearly wasn't going to be able to come close to finishing it, I couldn't even stand the smell of it (overboiled cabbage mm). So I flagged a waiter and handed him the plate saying "sorry, i cant eat this". I expected him to ask what was wrong or similar but he just apologised profusely, took it away and mysteriously magicked up the pasta I'd been told I couldn't have before 😕
He comes back a few minutes later to ask how I'm enjoying my pasta, which is fine, no complaints. Thinking I might be helpful, since the first waiter had said that it was a new menu item I asked this guy if the chef would like my feedback. He said absolutely. Despite it having been awful I was polite and said I thought the mushrooms were too salty and the wraps were mushy. He came back later in the meal to tell me that the chef had said thank you for the feedback.
This was a couple of months ago now, but my husband tells me that his boss still brings what I did up as an anecdote, saying she was so embarrassed that she wanted to die. My husband is pretty laid back but he does worry a lot about how he's perceived at work and he's said he agrees that I embarrassed him. I think he will probably think twice about inviting me out to another work event, which sucks.
TL;DR: I got forced into ordering gross food at a restaurant and my husband thinks I embarrassed him by (politely) telling the restaurant it was gross.
AITA? Is my husband's boss? Writing this has made me hungry 🤤 | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Tbd8okqyt2OeHGzd5VyBrQciHKHQ0ZOF | anf8v4 | {
"description": "arguing with my mom first thing in the morning",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for arguing with my mom first thing in the morning? | Long time lurker, first time poster. Here’s my obligatory apology for any mistakes I may make, mobile formatting, etc.
For context, my mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She was a single mother with a traumatic past of her own, who became a mother by surprise and (in my opinion) has had the best of intentions the entire time, just hasn’t quiteeeeee figured out how to properly be a parent. There’s a history of emotional abuse in our family, and I’ve definitely abused emotionally by her for a while.
We are completely opposite in many ways (for those of your Astrology nerds, she is a full fledged Leo & I am a Sun Gem, Moon Taurus—trust me, explains a lot, but I digress). She’s not very compassionate, not very physical, and definitely does her best to never feel any emotion, ever. I am an anxious, quiet, hugger. This has always caused a rift between us and I don’t feel like I’ve got a support system in my own home. Ever since I wanted to start growing up a bit as I entered my teens, I’ve been met with pushback of epic proportions. Which brings me to my problem.
About a year ago, I decided to take a semester off to fix my mental health and transfer out of a far away college to move back home. Our relationship had been very calm and pleasant while I was away, but we really had to do some reworking when I got home. I started back up in school last August, and have been consecutively enrolled with a 4.0 for the past two semesters. I have worked my butt off, and my only stipulation on coming home (which she was all for) was a bit more independence. We squabbled over a lot, had a few blow out fights, and they were all based on our little household power struggle—and one squabble in particular has escalated, quite a bit.
One day last semester, after never having done so since high school (some 3+ years ago), she came into my room and woke me up a few minutes before my alarm went off. She had confused her times (she HAS to know exactly when I wake up, have class, have breaks, leave class, etc which is a separate problem) and thought I was gonna be late. I politely said thank you, told her that I always set multiple alarms, and that she didn’t have to worry. I’ve only ever overslept once while being in college, and it was a total fluke. The next day, she does the same thing. Once again, I respond with a polite yet a bit more stern “thank you, but this is unnecessary,” and begrudgingly wake up. This seems small, right?
For the last 2 months of my previous semester, she decided she “didn’t believe me,” and was going to take it upon herself to wake me. This would be sort of alright if she had ever remembered what time I get up for class. I have this down to a science, have told her the times I need to be up multiple times. and written them down on more than one occasion, but she’d still wake me up about ~10ish minutes before necessary. When I ask her to stop doing so, she throws a fit. She says I’m being rude, she’s just trying to help, I don’t appreciate her, etc. The last time she did it before this morning, she had come in, woke me, and when I asked why, she responded, “I know it annoys you, hehehe” and walked out. So she’s OBVIOUSLY listening to my grievances, and choosing to act otherwise.
Finally, today it came to a head as she woke me AGAIN, and I blew my top. I am so tired of being woken up annoyed. As a hard working college student, I cherish my sleep quite a bit. This is not an isolated incident, and I don’t feel as though what I’m asking for is unnecessary. It just starts my day off so poorly, and I’ve tried to politely fix the problem for a while now, to no avail. After I yelled at her, she called me some choice names and told me how I “ruined her morning,” but I think she’s ruined mine first, plenty of times.
AITA for being really bothered by this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
oZbvU6WnDQKGl31AiEEso6nLSYdcvBIs | 9v8kel | {
"description": "gaming and chatting with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for gaming and chatting with my ex | I (m22) have a girlfriend for a year now. A few months ago my ex started Texting me . never in a flirty way or soemthing. More like a buddy. To understand the situation im in/was in i have to tell u the backstory
We've been together 5 years ago. We broke up but i missed her so i told her that but she blocked me (helping me getting over that). Then i think 1 year after that we starting texting and testing out Beeing friends. That didnt work out bc in her head she always thought i still loved her ( i think i kinda did too). So she behaved like shit and we stopped beeing friends but this time because i didnt want to be friends with her anymore. After that i havent heard anything from her for 1.5 years.
That was the backstory in short. Now we are in contact. I told my gf she texted me. The thing is i always kinda liked her because shes just a nice person. And automatically im comparing. Even though im very happy with my gf there are things that have been just way better with my ex. For example the sex was amazing back then. Today its ok. mainly bc my gf today isnt open as much as my ex.
Yesterday we've been playing "ark" together and chatting of course. And we talked about alot of stuff back then
For example we've been classmates before er got together and didnt really liked each other.
Even do im pretty sure she is over me and im happy with my girlfriend and it would never happen that i cheat or something i feel bad somehow because i was talking to her so much | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
ep9PCbJfHJoMaZbntgsWAj4airebIoeS | af6byi | null | AITA for relationship for how she handles sexual advances work? | My girlfriend (32) and I (33) both work at a bar. Flirting is obviously common, but sometimes it goes beyond.
She rarely gets physically flirty with customers but she’ll often get physically flirty with coworkers. It’s a bar, so we all flirt with each other but they’ll kiss her, hold her etc. It’s too much pda for me.
When I spoke with her about it she said she didn’t know what else to do in those situations except play along with it. I said you could walk away or not partake in it. Sure, if you’re a girl and get hit on or have sexual advances, it’s awkward. But, you have the right to deny those advances. I don’t step in because I don’t see it as my place. If she’s playing along, then that’s her prerogative.
My problem is she wants to be serious despite this behavior. I refused. I won’t be with someone who won’t deny physical advances knowing I feel uncomfortable with it.
How understanding can I be when someone is being hit on? Am I the asshole for ending the relationship for how they deal with sexual advances?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
eHxbMM7Aw3JFlO3rCO5elna8CbcYV68W | b3t71s | {
"description": "telling my mother that my future son will never be allowed at her house",
"pronormative_score": 305,
"contranormative_score": 38
} | AITA for telling my mother that my future son will never be allowed at her house? | My wife is 37 weeks pregnant, we are the first of our family generation to have kids so it's been a big deal and everyone is super excited.
My mother doesn't have a lot of money and she has started making comments about "getting the baby's room ready". I asked her to elaborate and she says "For my GRANDSON to sleep over OF COURSE!".
She lives over 2 hours away, has 2 very large dogs she cannot control, and has an....."agriculture" business in her basement that smells the entire house.
I told her "Save your money because that's not going to happen". She thinks I'm joking at first but when she sees I'm serious she start freaking out.
From her perspective, she has waited 30 years for a grandchild and since my sister can't have kids she fuels all of her excitement into us. She has a fear of driving so her visits to us will be limited in the first place. She is taking her excitement over the top. Her friends threw her a grandma shower for fucks sake.
I told her that I will not be driving 5-10 hours per weekend so he can sleep over in a place where there are untrained massive dogs(they are sweeties but i don't want to take the chance with a 250lb st Bernard and a 150lb Newfoundland that like to jump), and an offensive smell that permeates the house.
She responds saying she has thought of all that and will be taking the train, segregating the dogs, and installing a massive air purifier in the room. I still tell her no with the logic of "I don't want my child being 2.5 hours away from me, I'm not comfortable with taking a baby on a train, we are trying to avoid formula, and even with the dogs being in another room and an air purifier where he would sleep I am not comfortable with the arrangement. I told her we can visit once in a while, but not until he's a little bit older and it's unlikely we will be sleeping over(her home smells, is small and very uncomfortable).
My mother cries like she has just lost a child. I call my sister and ask her for help(she lives a lot closer and has a much closer relationship), and she thinks I am being unreasonable. Apparently, my mother has already gotten the room ready and has been saving up for this huge air purifier/ozone generator thing and talked through it with my sister because she knows I'm a hard-ass. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 34,
"OTHER": 254,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 51,
"INFO": 5
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 305,
"WRONG": 38
} | RIGHT |
AE8xxBhMYwPgaGLkBGSoHKz05DhqlOpk | b7rwt8 | {
"description": "snitching on coworker",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I snitch on coworker? | I’m a college work study student at a school library.
I usually don’t work Sundays, but when I do it’s with the same girl, and she’s always late. One time she came in late, clocked in, and left for more than an hour. Today she’s 3 hours late as I type this, and honestly I don’t think she’s coming in at all. On Tuesdays she has a shift after mine, and she’s always late so then that makes me late for my class because I can’t leave until she arrives. I don’t know if she’s like this with other student employees, but I assume yes because there’s no reason for her to have beef with me since we literally are just coworkers and we do not interact whatsoever besides saying the typical “hi” and “have a good day.” What sucks is that my supervisor has no knowledge of any of this, so this girl just keeps clocking in and leaving, and coming in late all the time. I’m just really heated from this right now because I wanted to offer my shift up for trade because I got sick yesterday, but I knew no one would take my shift since most people are on spring break. Now I’m actually sick with a cough and a cold yet I still came to work.
It’s just so unfair to me and other fellow student employees who are actually punctual, and abide by standard work rules. I mean, none of us actually want to work, but we do because we’re low-income and need the money. But then there’s people like this girl who pulls all these shenanigans and don’t face any consequences.
So, AITA if I tell my supervisor about all of this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
GizTcrm9kMkExupaNYREp2DLb3UIgma4 | ay01ta | {
"description": "being upset that my BIL had a no kid rule at his wedding except for",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA For being upset that my BIL had a no kid rule at his wedding except for.... | ... the kids in the wedding party.
I get it. It's their wedding, they can do what they want. But when they tell my kids they are going to be in the wedding party, but never approach the topic with my husband or I and then the invitations don't specify "no kids", is it unreasonable to assume that nieces and nephews are allowed to attend the reception?
We only realized they possibly weren't invited the week before the wedding and called to double check and were told, "we asked if they wanted to be in the wedding party, so now it's too late and there is no room." Only they never asked. All the other siblings and their kids were asked, but not us and our kids.
And the next day we found out they called up all the baby sitters among our friends kids and invited them to wedding because they had extra seats.
We took the kids to the ceremony (because Catholic masses are open to anyone, not just some people), but didn't go to the reception at all considering it seemed obvious to us they were trying to make a statement. But am AITA for thinking they were jerks about it?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
kR46sPxWmc4vWy3mYLprxysvak76FBni | b6mvqj | {
"description": "not getting a wedding gift / cash",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | WIBTA if I don't get a wedding gift / cash? | The thought right now is we just give them a card.
Some context:
-Couple's engagement and marriage is 2 weeks after they got engaged. We were invited to attend within two weeks.
-They said they started planning 2 weeks before that (4 week planning)
- As the question states: no reception, we are not getting fed.
-Venue is husband's church (wife not the same religion)
- Wife is friends with my fiancee and they will be attending our wedding, which we have been planning over our 1 year engagement, and we have a reception. I met them once.
- We're all Asian, generally customary to give cash/cheque with a card in a Chinese wedding (which this is not). Usually, the amount covers your own costs, at this point, I am making the argument to my fiancee that this basically cost them nothing.
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
aOLNKvaMajyYbeFVf86JGqMJrUJ6Uf4T | a44f2b | {
"description": "taking property back that's mine",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for taking property back that’s mine? | 41, M, San Jose, CA
About 3 months ago, I loaned an old lawn mower of mine to my neighbor. It was an old Snapper riding lawn mower. He was supposed to have used it for one time, but it started raining while he was mowing and he stowed it in his shed to keep it from being rained on.
About two months goes by and I hadn’t said anything about it, because we work different hours so he’s not home when I’m there and it’s just an old mower I had. Well, then his son and my daughter (they are 17 & 16 respectfully) were caught (by him) having sex in his sons bedroom. They’ve been friends as long as we’ve been neighbors, which is about 10 years. This leads mike (my neighbor) coming to MY house and demanding that I reprimand my daughter for “being a whore in his house.”
I was astounded. First of all, his soon was taking place in the act as much as she was. She later admitted to me that she wasn’t forced and they had intercourse several times before. I would also like to add that Mike and I hadn’t ever had a cross word up until now, even though he’s a very religious person and sometimes I purposely ignored him when he would bust my balls about alcohol consumption or marijuana use.
Anyways, I ended up threatening to call the cops if he didn’t leave and he eventually did.
A few days go by and I think maybe things cooled off, so I message mike and ask him for my mower back. He responded and told me to fuck off, that he didn’t have my mower. It was a lie because it’s been in his shed all summer.
Realizing I have no claim to the mower (no service records or proof of ownership) I made a plan to regain the mower myself. I would wait until mike went to work one day and break into his shed and get my mower back.
I took some bolt cutters and cut the lock off of the shed (it was Chain locked.)
I recorded the entire thing on my cell phone from start to finish to prove that I was just getting **my** property. He comes home on lunch during this and ends up calling the police on me. I managed to get the mower back to my property but he caught me in the act. The police arrested me for criminal trespassing and breaking and entering.
Am I the asshole here? Seriously, I just wanted my mower back since he couldn’t accept that his child was just as involved in my daughters act as he was. He also called my child a whore to my face. I was just going to let him have it until he acted like a complete jackass.
I’ve contacted a lawyer and we have subpoenaed the mower manufacturer as I bought it brand new, and the plan is to now try and charge him with theft of my mower | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
Mb3fUyFyTulBF4BFXGJ4vaWK40UFsVl9 | b34ubt | {
"description": "being upset that I got ghosted by (what I consider) close friends",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being upset that I got ghosted by (what I consider) close friends? | Ok so this might sound a bit petty, but hear me out.
Since middle school, I had a close group of friends that I would always hang around and play sports such as basketball with. We were all very close throughout middle school and were basically as close as a group could get.
Now fast forward to high school, where we eventually got distanced a bit due to the classes we took as well as other influences. We would still talk to one another, but not as much as we did back in grade school. However, we partook in a rec basketball league together (likely due to tradition).
However, after the league was over, the distance between us basically widened as they would ghost me on several occasions (mainly hanging out and eating). One particular tipping point was when “we” created a volleyball team (for our school tournament, only for me to get kicked out due to “the team” wanting some other friend that they met that year. It bothered me a bit, but I just stopped thinking about it for a while.
Now fast forward to today, I heard that they made a basketball team for the student faculty game that will occur later this year, only for them to once again not invite me. Mind you, I’m not super unathletic and even on par with some of the players on that team, so their ghosting is likely not due to me being bad.
I know this is not the deepest of the conflicts, but “losing” these friends have kind of upset me. AITA for being upset that my so called friends keep on ghosting me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
99obZxp7foRr9WBe7DKUit8jpK6l6uzB | asi3z8 | null | AITA am I an ungrateful daughter? | My mom has been helping me with my 6 month old daughter. Help I have desperately needed. Shes amazing. She comes over before work so that I can get ready without worrying about the baby. She sometimes helps fold clothes, wash bottles, watches her while I'm working and even brings her home. I am tremendously grateful for her time, effort and sacrifice and I make sure to tell her often and try to find meaningful ways to thank her. (I grew up in a do it yourself, dont ask other people to do things for you type household). She never complains and has said that she feels needed and that feels good. That doesnt lessen my appreciation for her.
Now on to the situatiin. I've always been a private person and until I had my daughter, have been independent all my adult life (10+ years). She knows this.
However, lately shes been "helping" in ways that feel intrusive. She went to use the master bath (that's fine) and came out holding mail that was laying on my bed, saying she would return to sender for me. I had some receipts and she looked at them to see "if they needed to be thrown away". I had a folder, the plastic kind with pockets on each lower side that was open on my couch, when it was closed before. There have been a few other minor things.
So I decide to talk with her to set a boundary. Hey I truly appreciate all that you do, you are amazing, but when you do x,y,z it feels like you're going through my things and it feels a little intrusive to me. Can you not do that anymore?
Her response was denial that she did those things, or justification and THEN "I guess you just dont need me anymore". THAT felt like emotional manipulation. I tried to clarify with her, but she refused and left. She called back later trying to rug sweep and I asked her to call me back when she was ready to talk about it.
Am I the asshole for attempting to set boundaries with my Mom when she's been helping so much?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UA0APE7qQtVDgBevx00UfPFIus0TYRbV | abeh8y | {
"description": "getting a car towed on NYE that was blocking one of my driveways",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for getting a car towed on NYE that was blocking one of my driveways? | My parents have a large house in a private gated neighborhood. The driveway has two entrances but we exclusively use one of the entrances because it is easier to enter and exit. It’s basically muscle memory at this point when we back up because we are the last house on the cul-de-sac and no one ever is there at that driveway point.
We come back from a long two week trip on NYE around 10pm and see a car completely blocking that one entrance we use. It was a black car and there isn’t a light post near that side and it was difficult to see and we nearly hit it. We had to use the other entrance to get in which isn’t a huge deal. My dad was still upset and we called our neighborhood 911 line (actual police, not security) and they came and were very pleasant with us saying even though we have two entrances it is still illegal to block a driveway. The deputy said he tried knocking on some doors and no one knew whose car it was so he had to get it towed.
I felt a little bad because it was probably some kid who was at a party (we live in a snobby rich neighborhood) but I mainly felt bad for the cop having to deal with this on NYE but we had friends coming over and they too use that entrance.
If we hit that car it would’ve been our fault probably so better to be safe than sorry even though it probably would have been moved the next day and we weren’t technically blocked from leaving our house.
What do you guys think? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
fS1mbXPdwE3CN9IoJRWOxqYNynFJ6dPU | 9z234h | {
"description": "trying to make a payment plan with my niece",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for trying to make a payment plan with my niece. | Long story short, my mom died, my niece was in a shitty situation and needed to get out so I lent her $5,000 dollars to buy a house. (We live in a very very rural state so this isn’t unheard of) anyways, it’s been two years since then and I’ve asked her to help me out a few times totaling maybe $100-$150 dollars at most. Well she’s pregnant now and I’m wanting to buy a house in two years. My mom left me money for a down payment on a house since she helped my other siblings and died when I was 18. I asked my niece to pay me $83.00 every month for the next 5 years to pay me back, apparently I’m an asshole for doing such as she has helped me out a few times. Am I an asshole for trying to set up a payment plan? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8GzpKV8mm7CLxEXWCiPMtNnvVCJxzkVx | alowl6 | {
"description": "being emotionally distant from my mum after some shady behaviour",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being emotionally distant from my mum after some shady behaviour? | My mother is not physically abusive. She's never hit me. However, she does think that make me feel like I'm being emotionally abused, even if she may not want to. For example: we have a fight about something and I make valid points, telling her what's bothering me, and her response is 'okay' because she is too tired to talk. She then leaves the room and when I ask her why she didn't just say that she doesn't want to talk, she ignores me. She also twists facts, like she says she never said something when I clearly remember her words. She even told me that if I don't stop making assumptions and claiming things, she'll take me to a doctor (which I'm crazy afraid of and she knows it). She's a lovely woman and our relationship is unlike any other, but when nobody else is there, she just makes me question. I can no longer trust her and I'm afraid to show emotion in front of her. Am I an asshole for trying to distance myself from someone who makes me feel like shit? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
jBtpkBnIHlcedc5erqBvyMpFbsR0MqJR | aavg35 | {
"description": "being annoyed at my friends for not telling me about my ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for being annoyed at my friends for not telling me about my EX? | So I'm part of a big group of friends who I met through my Ex. When my ex and I broke up, we remained friends and part of this larger group.
I recently found out that something is going on between one of my mates from this group and my Ex. (I don't know what is going on exactly). I also know that the others in the group are aware of it but nobody is aware that I know.
For a little context, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years. The split was okay and please believe me when I say that I wouldn't mind if one of my friends was to date her or whatever. The issue I have is that I know my ex and the guy are hiding this from me and lying to me. I think that they should have at least asked me if I would have been cool with it but they didn't. So I already have a quarrel with my ex and this friend but I can't help but feel pissed that none of the others had told me or at least told my ex that they should tell me. It seems like a game they're all playing behind my back. On the other hand, I understand that my other friends might not feel like it's their place to tell me. But I think I'm justified in being annoyed with them if they're endorsing what my ex and friend are doing.
Thanks in advance. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
fFFn3ZTKWa752thcEqB1O8g6AzDYiEfG | a3729p | {
"description": "yelling back at someone after almost hitting him in the face",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for yelling back at someone after almost hitting him in the face. | So im rushing through my frat house cause im late for something, i hurry to exit through our back door which is a big white door and isnt see through so idk whose on the other side of the door.
I push it open and this big dude whose also in the frat (i never talk to him) is on the otherside carrying cases of beer. I say “watsup guys” and he says aggressively “Jesus you almost smacked me in the face!” And i was still running cause i was in a rush and yelled back defensively” i didnt see you dude!” and he said something back that i did not understand.
I really didnt see him, was in a rush. Ive been working on how to stick up for myself. So would this have been an occasion to say sorry to him? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
BgsmPi8gN6kEiHjD1zoM3jwvJ71Ksa7Y | ba3g7j | {
"description": "being annoyed by my cousin sister",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for being annoyed by my cousin sister | My cousin sister is really annoying sometimes. I recently lost all my friends, and it's a sensitive topic for me but she still does not stop talking about her friends despite knowing about it. She always wants things to go her way and is completely invading my space. I like being left alone but she just wouldn't give me space. She's ALWAYS there and I'm getting sick of it. Also, she gets too close and corny with my brothers, constantly touching them and calling their name even when they are angry or are screaming. She constantly keeps asking if we'll miss her when she goes away. I am kinda possessive when it comes to my brothers so I DO NOT like it when she follows my youngest brother everywhere he goes and is constantly trying to touch and hug him. It seems creepy in a way.
But she is also a single child, so I can't tell her to fuck off if she shows an affection too great towards my brothers. And her family agreed to extend their visit while my parents have gone out of town because my father needs a stent to be put in his artery. So am I the asshole for being annoyed by her? Because she is just too clingy and perky for my taste and she is constantly touching my brother. And she just goes all silent when things don't go her way. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
4F3YDLKslLD7przo7NUznnEDvdlkyAxM | b14cbq | {
"description": "not wanting to pay for my package",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to pay for my package? | I use a courier service to deliver my packages that I order online (outside of the US).
However, they are *always behind on their service* as well as they also overcharge as the cost seem to inflate compared to what is expected and this frustrates me.
Anyways, a few weeks back I ordered a package and when they notified me that they had received the package **I emailed and called them letting them know that the package was urgent and I would love to get it asap.** I was assured I would get it the next day.
That was last Monday.
I called again on Thursday (after Ash Wednesday); told I'd get it next day, Friday. Friday came and went and no package delivered.
Called again this past Monday asking for said package, I was told I would get it the next day, Tuesday.
The package was just now delivered, **on Thursday,** and I was very hesitant to pay for it and wanted to tell the guy that I would call him when I am ready to pay.
Instead, I told him that I was ready to do 1 of 2 things, I was going to pay for half the cost (which is the cost I expected to be charged before the gauge) or he can come back when I feel like paying.
He said he couldn't leave the package then. So I'm like, well you guys suck and I'm really annoyed with your service.
So I reached in my wallet and pulled out some money, usually I pay with my card but that would cover the full cost and I'm not down for that.
So he says, he'll only accept it if I will use the service again. Mind you I've been using their service for years but he just now gave me an idea with that defense.
So I told him to put it on an outstanding tab or something and email me the balance.
**So AITA for considering to abandon that bill and their tardy service and subscribe to another courier service?**
That's just how annoyed I am with them. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
6lNuVbmtGKU2K8JanCbfkz5UT5huCrQM | 9xm105 | {
"description": "falling behind at new job and asking others to solve my problems for me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for falling behind at new job and asking others to solve my problems for me? | AITA? I just started my first ever job recently. Its a job serving ice cream and dessert foods in a fairly busy store in the city, so theres usually a lot to do e.g. taking orders, prepping food, ice cream, smoothies, taking online orders from deliveroo etc. So last week I was only on my second shift, and it was pretty clear I didn't properly know the ropes of working there yet. I probably had about 6 hours worth of experience overall. It was fine when me and the manager were both working, one of us could take orders and another could prep foods and anything I wasn't sure how to do I could ask him, or he would do it for me.
So it was going fine until he decided to take his half an hour break and said if I needed anything he'd be in the back, after which I very quickly got behind on taking and making orders when a large group came in, until I had a large queue. To make things worse, because I didn't have much experience with how online orders worked and because I had been so busy trying to manage the customers, 3 delivery drivers turned up at once all asking for their orders, which I hadn't made yet, and because I hadn't got used to the systems I didn't know what order to give them. the situation just got worse until I had to go to the back of store and tell the manager I felt I was out of my depth needed help, to which he got very angry and continuously told me he didn't get paid for his breaks so there is no way he's coming out to help me and that its not that hard, I went back to the front and just tried to deal with customers and leave the delivery drivers waiting to be dealt with later, but they were getting very agitated so i panicked and went to ask him again and again until he came off his break to help me make some orders. After we dealt with all the customers he was clearly pretty furious for having to come off his break and went away to finish it. and after that he would constantly snap at me for doing things wrong and show me how to do things as if they were the most simple things in the world, and i was an idiot for not knowing right away (tbf they were pretty simple, but it was my first time doing them and i was just asking bc i didn't know)
Anyway, Ive just been wondering whether I should have basically been a better worker, been more on top of things and tried to deal with them myself, rather than making him come off his break and work when he's not being paid, (it was probably ten mins work tops). Am I the asshole for being, admittedly, not the most proficient worker after 7 hours work and asking him to deal with my problems, or could he have maybe been a little more understanding in helping out, and taken his break after. thanks | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
yf52ldWB1RyFoShV1P6qLn55Hgouj1b2 | anot3i | {
"description": "suddenly leaving a phonecall with my girlfriend and her friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for suddenly leaving a phonecall with my girlfriend and her friend? | Last night I was in a messenger call with my girlfriend and her male friend whilst they played Fortnite. After a while they started posting embarrassing photos of each other in the chat and he posted a screen recording of a snap she sent him of her singing and generally acting silly.
My problem with this is that whenever we talk on snapchat she hardly shows her face or very rarely does anything "silly" for me. I've brought this up with her before in the past and she said "Yeah but I don't care if he sees me looking like that."
I'm not really bothered about her sending videos of her singing and whatnot to me but I do feel a bit left out when the messages she sends me are just photos of her room/surroundings rather than a bit of her face.
So, AITA for getting annoyed and leaving the call early, only saying "right, see you in a bit I'm going bed" before I left? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
1a59fFZAiPkJNGd9ypWdPPdhmQWZnGwY | afma8g | {
"description": "not liking the family dog and being open about it",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not liking the family dog and being open about it | For the first time ever my family got a dog. I'm not a dog person and told them this beforehand because I figured it might make things difficult.
Ofcourse they can get one if they please so they did. Since day one everyone expected me to like it and get cuddly with it, which I don't want. It's a cute and sweet dog, I just don't like it.
Every once in a while I do walk or feed it when necessary but to be honest I don't think that's my responsibility. To be fair they never expect me to do those things either.
The thing I don't like about dogs is that they need attention. They come up to you and give you love but when you don't give it back they get sad. I don't like that commitment and I feel like it was forced on me. Now that wouldn't be such a problem if I could just tell the dog to leave me alone when it comes to me but every time I do that they get mad and treat me like I'm an asshole.
Because of that I try to explain (in all fairness maybe a bit too rude) why I don't like dogs. And every time that ends in a big arguement with me being the bad guy.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
8RItEcHXYp82PCi39r3mJV5JNj8en9Ni | awjkmh | {
"description": "not wanting to carry my friends portable charger in my already full purse",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to carry my friends portable charger in my already full purse? | My friend is visiting from out of state today. She is staying in my apartment with her niece, friend and boyfriend. We had plans for today but they were going to go without me because I had something come up and I couldn't go. That was totally fine, and I was okay with that.
My friend then decided that she was going to cancel some of her morning plans and wait for me instead, because I was able to go along with them if they were leaving later. I told her several times that I was okay either way and that was totally her choice and she didn't have to wait but she chose to anyway.
She didn't want to bring her large purse with her because that shit gets heavy and I totally get that. I also carry a super heavy purse around and it kills my shoulder sometimes but I have a bunch of stuff that I like/need to have with me when I go out so I suffer through it.
My friend asked me if I could put a bag of cough drops in my purse for her and I said sure. She then asked if she could put her portable phone charger and I said no, that's too heavy and my purse is already heavy enough. She argued that it's already heavy so what's the difference? I said that every little thing really does add up. I told her that she could bring her purse if she really needs something like that. She said no, but continued to argue with me about it and then put her portable charger in my purse, picked it up and said "see? It's really no different." I said if it's not too heavy, in her opinion, then she could just take her purse and she's being a hypocrite at this point.
She guilt tripped me by saying that she "rearranged her entire day for me" but I can't do this thing for her. I told her that was her choice.
Is this the most ridiculous argument ever? You bet. It's not a big deal, but I immediately thought of this subreddit because I'm left genuinely wondering if I was the asshole here?
Give it to me straight guys. Should I have just sucked it up because my purse is already heavy? Or was I in the right to tell her no, I didn't want her heavy item to add to the weight of my purse? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
FSqAvtb3Ik2xrXPRSmwxcLliNHBLUkjj | aritxd | {
"description": "not buying my brother food",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not buying my brother food?? | Okay, so I, a 13-year-old, work small jobs for money. Rake some leaves for a neighbour for 5 dollars, mow the lawn for another 5. Really simple jobs that give me some money to buy what I want. So we were at the mall, and I wander off with 10 dollars and went to Subway. I buy a simple Meatball Marinara for 6.00, and some chips for a dollar. With 3 dollars left, I decided to save them and go to find my mom who is sitting in the playground area with my brother sitting right next to her. I promptly sat myself next to her, and began to eat my food. My brother started whining about how he was hungry, so I instinctively went and handed him my bag of chips. But; this didn't satisfy him. He started CRYING about how he wanted a sandwich.
Now; my brother REFUSES to eat any sandwich other than the Turkey Italiano Melt(T.I.M), which is 6.75. I only had 3 dollars.
Now, the wining PISSED my mom off. (Keep in mind this is my biological mom, who I see a few times a year. I have a way better stepmom) She DEMANDED I buy him a sandwich. I explain he only eats the T.I.M, and I didn't have the money for it. Angrily she hands me about 5 dollars, and I take my brother to buy it. I'm staying at her house for the weekend (right now im in the closet because its the only place I can get away from both of them. Its a small house, and me and my brother share a room here.) and shes actually pissed at me for not being able to buy my brother a sandwich even though it was my own money I earned??? AITA??? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ghAAMYnG9LRH0hACTS9hbK9AP752znFN | a7c1h6 | {
"description": "complaining about giving my friend a ride to the airport",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for complaining about giving my friend a ride to the airport? | I should have been firm in the beginning and rejected the favor but I accepted it. Later I complained how it was going to cost me 4 hours total to drive them to and from the airport by saying they don’t respect my time.
LOTS of words were said after that. I’m not sure if we’re best friends anymore.
This was days in advance so it’s not like my friend(?) can’t find a ride or use a rideshare service. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
tL9zAUjvlfpcHIRnR5wSz40zfMtQFyPf | ar59c2 | {
"description": "venting to my friend about another friend, only to have her tell him what I said",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for venting to my friend about another friend, only to have her tell him what I said? | I assumed that everyone gets annoyed at their friends at some point, and a normal part of any relationship is venting to someone about the things a friend does that annoy them. I don't want to actually confront this person and say that these things annoy me because it's just a part of who they are and who am I to try and change them. I've told them to tone it down, asked them to do things differently but they won't because it's kind of just their personality. So basically, they piss me off sometimes and sometimes I like to just vent about stuff that annoys me.
I met up with a friend for coffee and we were just talking about stuff, she was complaining about someone so I joined in. We had a rant, all was good, we went our separate ways.
Today, I met up with my other friend and he was really grumpy. For context, I was complaining about him being really controlling and not listening to my input in things. Nothing really serious or mean about him. He's making a point about not being a controlling person and kind of just being a dick in general in all the ways I'd complained about. Like going out of his way to make sure I knew that I was wrong about all the things I said without making it obvious. But I mean, it's obvious that she told him what I'd said.
I feel betrayed by my friend for going to that person and telling them all the things I said. But then I think maybe I'm the asshole here for saying it in the first place. I dont know if I should he annoyed at my friend for telling him, or annoyed at myself for saying it. I just thought it was normal to vent to people and have them just keep it a secret between them. So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
s2UBh6XUjHdcpHmPLj4cHmIJLAN6yPQQ | awubll | {
"description": "no longer being the shoulder",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA: For no longer being the shoulder | For the majority of my life I have always been the person that was "too nice" and people would vent to me and I would always by default find something to sympathize about with their situation and immediately take.their side. Sometime over the past few years, I somehow stopped being the person. Probably a part of my growing up process. Now. Some of my friends when they vent to me, I tend to get the response "well, that's just pessimistic"
Here's an example, messaging back and forth with a friend:
HER: I don't even like the club (the place where our SO's work) anymore.
Me: The club always sucked. Some people are just crumby and there will always be crumby people at other clubs and restaurants.
HER: I used to like it. Always felt welcomed, Everybody was nice...now it just stresses me out, can't even drive there anymore.
ME: Yeah, eventually a lot of places end up growing into something else. But even if there aren't other female distractions, there's always some kind of unnecessary drama associated with work. They'll always be shitty chefs, immature/entitled coworkers, and sensitive mentalities. And our SO's come home and they're stressed from work or they spend what little time they have with their coworkers at the bar. It's a perpetual cycle.
HER: (INSERTS GIF of" "THAT NEWS IS VERY DEPRESSING")
ME: (INSERTS GIF of a shrug) ...sure is
HER: Pessimistic much?
ME: Nah. I accept it for what it is. I make my choices accordingly.
HER: Well, I'm refusing to accept it. Ignorance is bliss lol.
ME: To each their own.
TLDR: Am I the asshole for because it diesn't make me sad, I just see the reality for what it is? Or am I unnecessarily pessimistic about a topic that I should, I guess, try to be ignorantly positive about? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
} | WRONG |
NLFgaX4U6UzhllSOxqeu3Ftigdo2oJ8j | amxwyo | null | AITA Relationship Troubles from my senior year | This happened a year ago, but I never found a good answer.
It’s my senior year of high school, and I’m a very involved student (I’m at school for 75+ hours per week between school, clubs and sports & was taking 4 APs my senior year, as well as XC, swim, and track) I’m also the one of the youngest seniors in my class, as I would not turn 18 until a month after I graduated {June}
That was my highest level of intensity, but my previous years were about 50-60 hours at school per week. This being said I never had time for a girlfriend, until my senior year somehow. The year starts and there’s some new girl. This girl is pretty into my friend from XC (whom I will refer to as nick) and they soon start talking. They acted like boyfriend and girlfriend, but I never heard of they made it official, so I don’t think either of them knew what was going on. Nick also convinced the girl (who I will call Amanda) to do XC
The homecoming dance is coming around, and she asks some other guy than the guy she’s talking to (who I will refer to as Tom) Tom is also a friend of mine from XC. Basically Tom and Nick aren’t happy she’s talking to both of them, and they leak it to the entire sophomore class, and I mean the ENTIRE class. Pretty much everyone hates her. Some of them took it too far, like breaking into her locker to leave her long hate notes about how she shouldn’t exist and stuff, which I thought was excessive.
Me, being a senior, use some of my influence to get some sophomores to fuck off. I basically provide a social bubble, and shield her from the hate notes. I had to have some very stern conversations with sophomores about leaving notes, but I never had to beat the shit out of any of them. Sophomores still don’t like her, but the hatred has ceased. After this, Amanda became very into me. We started talking, and she has relatives in FL. This is significant because the weekend we started talking a serious hurricane was going to hit FL. I spent a few hours a day comforting her. (At this point, I’m going to sleep at midnight, and waking up at 6 for school). She keeps on talking to me, and eventually asks me to the HOCO dance, I say yes, since I didn’t have a date, and things are moving well. A week passed by and now it’s the Wednesday before the HOCO dance, and she hits me with a what are we. At this point we have had some deep talks, so I suggest we are dating, and she happily agrees. FF a month and she says she needs to break up with me because she needs to focus on her sports (she ’s a preolympic cyclist). I’m taken aback by this, but she doesn’t really want to talk it out so I go along with it. (She then proceeded to delete all photos of us on IG)
We still had a season to finish (practices are coed) , so we decided to stay friends to not jeopardize it. She’s still friendly, which was surprising given that we just broke up. FF a month of this, and she’s mad at me for being distant, and jeopardizing our relationship (what?) I was confused, and she proceeded to say I was an asshole and other stuff for taking advantage of her, and she also to turn my friends against me, some of them sided with her, and they still are sided with her.
Was she the asshole for breaking us up, then unbreaking us up. Or am I the asshole for “taking advantage of her” and not knowing our relationship hadn’t actually ended? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
wXS5fT2T3k6mejcwdiN9jeBfwSGF1y1p | afobpu | {
"description": "getting upset at my boyfriend for talking about other women in his sleep",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting upset at my boyfriend for talking about other women in his sleep? | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, we’ve been happily in love and prospering for the majority of our relationship. We barely fight, as we don’t have many issues.
Recently my boyfriend has been muttering stuff in his sleep, at first I ignored it but as of now it’s impossible. He talks so frequently in his sleep I commonly will sleep downstairs as I can’t stand it. He speaks about another woman named Laurel and says phrases such as..
“Laurel we can finally plan our honeymoon.”
“I love the smell of your hair today Laurel.”
“Come here baby girl.”
It’s been pretty gut wrenching to hear him talk about her so often, sometimes up to 2-3 times a week. He doesn’t even call me baby girl, that’s why I added the last one. On some occasions he’ll become more vulgar about what he says such as dirty talk, while still saying Laurel.
I’m very bothered mentally and don’t look forward to going to bed anymore. I want to bring it up to him but also don’t want to seem unreasonable. Because of what’s been happening I’ve grown bitter at times to him, which he sometimes notices and asks about which I tell him it’s nothing.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
emL2IDKE8FeOYGRHUmoW9K9nIkdRQ99E | 9u2son | {
"description": "not wanting to go to a gay bar",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to go to a gay bar? | I'm heterosexual myself and a lot of friends of mine are gay. We went out in the city, two bars just drinking a bit and talking (everyone in the group was gay except me). Then we decided to walk around when one of my friends suggested we should go to a gay bar close by.
I said to them that I didn't feel comfortable with it since it did not feel like a place where I would belong. We ended up not going there because of me, and they seemed to be a bit upset with me.
This was two-three years ago, I still am friends with them, just wondering if that was an asshole move? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
DFveFNJGhNawBANIt8j237ye1by4cjkL | aewl7x | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with a friend of a friend who makes me feel terrible",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to hang out with a friend of a friend who makes me feel terrible? | Recently a friend of mine got a new friend who attends to the same university we do. She was nice at first, but things changed (guess her true colors were shown). She constantly berates people, hates everything, is really condescending and judgmental towards other people habits and preferences, and, even though she is a lesbian, she hates bisexual people (my SO is bisexual, which make matters even worse to me). To sour things just a little more, she recently made me feel very miserable by repeatingly insisting on discussing a very traumatic ordeal that happened to me years ago when we were all hanging out, even though I made clear I didn't want and hated to talk about it. This happened weeks ago, but I'm still suffering for having to go over those horrible memories all over again.
Will I be the asshole if I confront my friend about this issue and tell him I don't want to hang out with the group anymore if she's around? Should I just swallow it and keep it to myself? I really don't know what to do...
Thanks everybody | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
I9MHuSkKcr4bJxifXjxko5DL9tNpy2lt | b8m6rp | {
"description": "not getting excited about my friend getting engaged",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA because I cannot get excited about my friend getting engaged? | One things my friends will tell you, I am fiercely loyal. My younger friend caught her live-in BF cheating several times, once with my help. She even had a fake OLD profile so she could catch him. A lot of it went on when she was pregnant, which was his idea.
She is gorgeous and could have any guy she wants. They got engaged over the weekend and I can’t bring myself to wish her Congrats. I feel bad about that, because it is a happy time for her.
I just get the feeling it will end badly. He will screw her over again & again and I can’t get behind the whole situation. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
cFcJEbMqVudztAEBsJSkIIPn8m4pULhw | abpsu8 | {
"description": "being annoyed that my family takes my room when they visit from out of state",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For being annoyed that my family takes my room when they visit from out of state? | I have a sister who lives in Louisiana and she’s married and has 3 kids, and every year for whatever holiday I always sleep on the couch and they take my room. I have switched rooms 3 times, but no matter where I go I always have to give mine up. Now a bit of a back story.
When it was just her and her husband before they had kids I had to give up my room because it was “the bigger room” seeing as my other sister had the smaller room in the house and then there’s my parents room. Fine, just fine, I sleep on the couch.
Now fast forward a few years they have 2 kids, my sister and I switch rooms and I now have the tiny room. Holidays come around and again I have to give up my room but the reason this time is “I have the bigger bed” okay I can do that, I sleep on the couch.
Fast forward a few more years I now live in my parents garage. I stay there because we moved my grandpa down here from Pennsylvania and I wasn’t going to make him stay out there(I’m not an animal) so I give him my old room. He passes away so now we have a spare bedroom because I choose to stay in the garage. Holidays come around and, you guessed it, I have to give up my room. This time it’s because I have a couch out there too for a couple of the kids to sleep on (there are 3 now).
Here is what starts to REALLY bother me, I’m the ONLY one who has to work during these holidays. My entire family gets off so they stay up, hang out, go do stuff, whatever. So not only can I not go to bed due to the fact that they’re all in the living room where I’m sleeping but their kids get up at like 6-7am so I’m up that early too now. Some days when I get home from working a double shift or whatever I just want to lay down and go to sleep and when I ask them if I can go to bed they say no and it’s not fair that they want to watch a movie or I just got home I can stay up a big longer, knowing full well I have to work again the next day.
AITA for just wanting one holiday where I don’t have to give up my room? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
rnSj9nKxkoekXCuopDyyYL9e25ueWQY8 | a9o2jc | {
"description": "opening the discussion on restarting an old relationship, while we both have new relationships",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for opening the discussion on restarting an old relationship, while we both have new relationships? | Maybe this is a bit of a cliché topic, but it is one I have been struggling with for a long time. I can’t seem to find a way to deal with this, so I have discussed it with my good friends. However, they all have very different opinions. I’m very interested what you guys, outsiders in the matter, think about this, and very much appreciate you taking the time to read this and tell me your thoughts. Let me try and explain the situation.
TL;DR: this has become quite a long writing. If you want to skip the backstory: the current issue starts at “The current problem”.
About six years ago, when I was 18, I met this guy I found to be amazing. The feeling was mutual, we went on to see each other and eventually wanted to get into a relationship. Now of course I was, and still am young, but in my romantic pursuits up to this point I’d always been uncomfortable with the concept of monogamy.
I shared this hesitation with the guy, we had a long talk about it and decided we would try for monogamy anyway. He didn’t want to have an open relationship, and I was feeling way more for him than I had at that point felt for anyone else. We agreed upon monogamy and started our relationship. We had regular talks about whether we were both still happy with the relationship and with the monogamy part of it.
It was a great, I did love this guy dearly and we were quite happy together. There were some troubles, most notably the depression both of us struggle with, but it didn’t take away from the love and affection. The only problem was my continued uneasiness around monogamy. It was manageable for a year or two, but then it really started to get in the way. During the next year we talked about it often, and eventually he reluctantly agreed to let me see another person if someone came around.
As you can imagine I felt shit about myself trying to convince him to give me the (sexual) freedom I so craved. I was pushing his limits, and it was clear that he’d rather not. I very much tried to push away this need of mine, but in the end it just was there and it felt so unauthentic when I tried to hide it from him or myself.
Anyway, he agreed to it and for a year or so things were absolutely great. Still the two of us. Until, on some faithful day, another guy came around. I fancied him, and over a long course ended up being together. My boyfriend struggled so hard with it. It was horrible to see him suffer so much over this ‘egocentric’ pursuit of mine. I really, really wanted it to work but it was just so hard on him. He kept on asking for more time to get his mind around it, but never managed to get there. This went on for another year (we’re at a total of 4.5 years now), after which there was so much tension and unfortunately also some resentment from both sides.
At the end of it, he developed some romantic feelings for a female friend he had had for years before. I was happy about this, hoping he would now feel himself how beautiful it could be to share your love with more than one partner. However, this girl also was monogamous. The struggle with him accepting my other partner continued. In the end, we agreed it would be better to split up, and have him be with this other girl. This was very painful on the both of us, because we did still have a lot of love and affection for each other. We didn’t want it to be over. Honestly the sole thing that split us up was my desire for polygamy and his for monogamy. It felt like an ‘outside factor’, something that had next to nothing to do with our feelings for each other. Our love hadn’t dwindled.
He went on to be with his new girl. I went on to be with mine, but we didn’t make the year mark. After that I had a bit of a slut phase and then met this other guy, who is now my boyfriend. We have an open relationship, and both see other people as well.
**The current problem**: I have felt, and still feel this huge amount of love for my former boyfriend. This greatly interferes with my ability to commit to my new boyfriend, however much I feel like I should want that. I just fucking can’t do it. I just keep on thinking that my former boyfriend is the one I should be with. That he should be my partner, my buddy, and that I want nothing more that to walk by his side. I feel as if my grieving the past relationship has barely even started, and that half of the time I’m still in denial phase.
I still have some contact with the former boyfriend, we sometimes call, and we see each other once every three months or so. When we meet we just talk and talk about anything, and the topic of how we’re coping with our relationship always comes up. The difficult thing is that he describes the same feelings I have: struggling to let go, really missing me, trying to make it work with the new girl but not really managing to get a similar feeling of love or belonging as the two of us shared.
For some reason we have never talked about actually trying again together. I really feel like we should have this talk. Yes, I hope that we could, and that everything would work out, but I also feel like hearing him say he chooses not to try again and continue to build a relationship with his new girlfriend would help me accepting that it really is over.
The foremost reason keeping me from initiating this conversation is that I feel really fucking bad for his new girlfriend. Even though she knows he is struggling with letting go of our old relationship and this is hindering his commitment towards her, they are building something together based on the fact that this relationship is over. I do not want to stab her in the back. I do not want to confuse him even further, and I don’t want to disturb his getting over me. I truly don’t. I don’t know how to go about opening the discussion about restarting our relationship without ‘going behind her back’. Theoretically I could try and get her contact, introduce myself and my problem, but I don’t think that will ease her mind and I feel like I should just talk to my ex as it is about him and he knows about all the history and the gravity of the matter.
My moral compass is telling me to stay out of their business and do my own coping by myself. However I have tried this for a year and a half, seemingly without any success at all. I’m seeing my ex the 18th of January, and I really don’t know what to do. I’m not proud to say that I spend a lot of time and energy trying to figure it out, and that’s it’s starting to take on an almost obsessive quantity lately. It really is driving me mad. I’m open to doing monogamy again, if he wants this, but now I’m mostly confused and don’t know for certain if I want a monogamous or polygamous relationship.
As you might have noticed, I’ve not gone into how my current boyfriend is feeling. At the beginning of our relationship I mentioned this unsolved business. We have been communicating very openly throughout our relationship and he knows exactly how I feel. Of course he is hurt by my feelings for the ex, but he is very supportive of me doing whatever I think is necessary to deal with it any way or another. If anyone would like more information on this, I’m glad to provide it.
Would I be the asshole for discussing restarting our old relationship, on the expense of his new girlfriend? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
dEtPthoPgJAe62t9LZZW9TIVrRXmmHs9 | agt18k | {
"description": "hanging up on my friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for hanging up on my friend? | So, this may seem sort of petty and small. But now that it’s over, I’m reconsidering if I am actually rightfully irritated about this.
I got on a FaceTime call with one of my best friends today, just chatting about things going on at school, nothing too serious but it certainly wasn’t a dead conversation. Eventually, I had to eat dinner, and I asked her if I should hang up and call back later. She said not to hang up and to just stay on. I went to eat dinner, and came back maybe ten or fifteen minutes later. When I said hi, I quickly found out she was on the phone with her other friend (she was FaceTiming me through her laptop, so I could actually see her on the phone). At first it was kind of fine. I was thinking that this was weird, especially since I’m not friends at all with the friend was was calling. After a couple minutes, my friend just completely ignores me, as she’s in a conversation with her other friend. At this point, I’m not really sure what to do. I’m feeling very out of place and awkward... I am a very shy and not very social person. And also annoyed. If she wanted to call her other friend, couldn’t she have just texted me “got to go” or something similar while I was gone? She wasn’t making any attempts to include me or anything... I sort of felt invisible and at the same time, a burden. So I just hung up without saying anything.
Am I the asshole? And another note, this all happened just a bit ago, and she hasn’t texted me or anything yet. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
9xQrpRgPbYfJQlnZgyHew15vNFd5cCZx | 9u3a4e | {
"description": "not agreeing with my (divorced)) parents oving between houses more often",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not agreeing with my (divorced)) parents oving between houses more often? | After my parents moved to two different houses, me and my brother moved between houses (in the same area) on off in the week. Meaning Mondays and Tuesdays with mum, Wednesday and Thursday with dad, and Friday, Saturday and Sunday alternating.
With my exams I requested a week on, week off split to make it easier to revise and stay up to date with school etc.
Now again, with my A levels coming up I have requested staying at one house for 2 or 3 weeks at a time closer to my exam period.
My mum, and dad have now started saying repeatedly they would like to move back to the old on off system in the weeks after my exams.
My little brother agrees with me that the week by week system is easier for both of us, as he also has an important year of studying coming up...
AITA for stating me and my little brothers opinion that we are the ones moving so it should be our choice, and it's much easier for us sticking with week by week. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BTASWERlRnymVBYLhMJrPMH2TBFGN1YH | b748hs | {
"description": "calling out my friend for making zero effort to introduce his girlfriend of 9 months to any of his friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for calling out my friend for making zero effort to introduce his girlfriend of 9 months to any of his friends? | Throwaway account for anonymity. I'll also refer to my friend as "Jake" for simplicity.
Backstory: Jake and I have known each other since high school, and we're both in our mid-20s now. There's about 4 or 5 of us from high school that still hangout together regularly as we all still live in the same area.
Jake began dating his current girlfriend about nine months ago. That's an estimate, because none of us were actually told that he had a girlfriend for at least the first two or three months. When we found out, we all took a little bit offense (What? You've been dating someone this whole time? Why wouldn't you tell us that?), but it was nothing major. Over the next few months, we all continued to hangout as usual, but no effort was ever made by Jake to introduce the two parties.
Eventually, about a month ago, a few of us started commenting on the fact that we've never met her, and essentially told Jake that we felt it was weird that he doesn't ever invite her to our get-togethers or invite us to theirs. At this point, it became a little more offense, because he'd say things like, "She's not going to want to get drunk with four guys and listen to Weezer all night" (a regular activity of ours), to which we collectively responded, "So...we could just *not* do that." It was like he was implying that a group of adults is incapable of going out to dinner, or going bowling, or going to the movies, or doing anything other than "guy stuff" basically.
​
So for the past few weeks, each Friday I've messaged the group something along the lines of "drinks tonight?", and when he says that he's busy, I respond immediately with "dude just invite her" and tonight he finally got upset. He said this situation is "a 2 out of 10 and is being blown up to be an 8 out of 10." I told him I disagree, because I think that a significant other becoming close, or at least FAMILIAR, with the people close to you is important. If I was dating someone for a year and they made no effort to meet my friends, and my friends made no effort to meet her, I'd be really upset. Am I wrong for pressing him on the subject? It feels like he doesn't consider us to be an important enough part of his life to make our existence known to the person he's dating.
​
Am I the asshole? I completely understand that some people prefer a more private personal life than others, and by no means do I expect him to bring his girlfriend along to each and every one of our hangouts, nor do I expect to be invited to each and every one of theirs. I also understand that some people are just naturally more shy, so I do wonder if I'm overstepping by pressing the issue. But ultimately, I feel like enough time has passed that if he truly considered us to be close friends, he'd have made an effort to introduce the parties. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
c7e9F1S38r9ZEMpqIvLPqfPlvmnBxSW7 | abi61z | {
"description": "asking neighbours to turn down music at 3 am",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For asking neighbours to turn down music at 3 AM? | This is a tame one in comparison to others but my wife and I had an argument with our neighbours over music last night. We are a youngish couple with no kids and they are late 30's-40's with a kid at university and another in secondary school so it seems weird we'd be the ones to complain...
We understand that last night was new years but our neighbours tend to blast music nearly once a month until very early hours. We've never said a word about it.
We also have a small dog that can be a bit yappy. When we first moved in we tried everything to train her to not bark but we both work and while we were at work we discovered she was still barking when are neighbours yelled over our fence at us one day. We had a long conversation and she claimed lots of stuff from having young kids to having a daughter on her deathbed. I thought she was honest and we got our dog a small collar the vibrates when she barks. She still occasionally does and when we take it off when we're home she can have a bark but we try to control it.
Now my wife went over at about 1:30 and asked them to turn it down slightly as we could literally here every lyric to every song. They agreed to turn it down and seemed to for 10 minutes before jacking it back up. My wife asked me to go over at 3 to ask again as she was getting very upset. I tried to avoid it as I knew they would then kick off about the dog but she insisted.
When I knocked the first words out of my neighbours mouth was "Ya but we have to listen to your fuckin' dog at 8:30 every morning." At that point I said, " I knew you'd argue that, there's no point I'm going home." And then she kicked off and started calling me an ass for asking them to turn down the music on new years. At this point I started telling back... Not great diffusion tactics I know. This kicked off a thing where all they're drunk friends came out to say it was new years and she had had a shit year and they needed this night and on and on. Then I got water works that her dad had cancer then five minutes later it changed to her best friend had cancer, then it was both had cancer and they just needed this party... Then her husband came out said he was turning it up louder and to fuck off while smelling of alcohol heavily.
My wife came out and we tried several times to say fine were not getting anywhere we'll leave you to it before hearing more about our dog and how we stomp around which they've never told us before. We said as we've told them before we can keep the dog inside and then she says " No that's mean to the dog it's not her fault." In the end we finally calmed it down and went back in where they proceeded to play music louder until 5 in the morning.
I feel like an ass for even knocking on their door and we know the dog can be troublesome. We have tried to be considerate and do things to help but it seems to be the go to if there is ever a dispute. We've been on friendly terms but as soon as we said something they acted like we the biggest asshole neighbours in the world.. AITA?
TL:DR Asked our neighbours to turn down music at 3 AM and then got shouted at because our dog barks at 8:30 AM when we go to work. Ended up in a shouting match for a few minutes before going back to our houses where music went on until 5 AM. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
RJjEzot64knPommmbidhWwFookBdAXSQ | aep39k | {
"description": "not tipping delivery drivers if my food was made wrong/ruined in some way",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA if I don't tip delivery drivers if my food was made wrong/ruined in some way? | For example, today I ordered a pizza and it came to me late and so shaken up in the box that it was nearly folded in half. I still took it because I was hungry, but I didn't tip the driver because of his lateness and the quality food. He called me an asshole and drove off.
I don't see anything wrong with this practice of not tipping based on the quality of the delivery. I've worked in the food service industry myself for 3 years, and I know that quite often, tips are the main source of income for workers. However, I also believe that the customer's needs come first, and if you want a tip, you have to actually deliver a quality product.
So, Reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
8EJdRirhaPIIveWSkGNzMfIOnyjEDVLc | asmzaq | {
"description": "sticking up for my dad and telling our family friend to \"knock it off\" in a stern manner",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for sticking up for my dad and telling our family friend to "knock it off" in a stern manner? | We have a family friend who used to be our neighbor back when I was a kid in the 90's. Both my parents and I have kept in touch with him over the years and he's paid a handful of visits since we've moved to a different state. Over the past few years, the guy has become a rude and condescending jerk. My parents always reluctantly agree to his requests to visit and they blame me for being too nice to him and making him feel welcome. His tone is brash and he always tries to demean anyone and everyone he converses with. He has visited us every year for the past 3 years and I have become more and more intolerant of his antics. This year was the final straw for me. He visited us this past weekend and I went out of my way to entertain him everyday. My wife and I invited him and my parents over for dinner one night and we planned to play ping pong most of the night since he is an avid player. The guy was in a nasty mood that night. I caught him making a condescending remark to my wife during dinner and he later belittled me for saying ping pong "paddle" instead of "racquet". We finally decided to start playing after dinner and I let he and my dad play first. My dad has a harmless habit of saying "ready" before he serves. Well apparently this was irritating the guy. So my dad says it again on the 5th point and the guy snaps and says, "quit asking if I'm ready, I will kick your ass." This got my blood to start boiling a bit but I didn't say anything. Once it got back to my dad's serve, my dad said "ready" once again out of sheer habit and the guy full on shouted at my dad in a very nasty, aggressive, and disrespectful manner. I fucking lost it. I stared him down and said,"HEY, WTF is your problem. KNOCK IT OFF." I gave him a look as if I was ready to beat his ass and he cowered and said he was just joking with a bitterly disgusting facial expression. We didn't speak to one another for the rest of the night and I didn't bother to see him on his last day here. I'm relieved that I don't have to put up with him any longer as I have no desire to ever be around him again. Am I the asshole for being intensely stern with a family friend that is 30+ years older than me? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
1LZTVXwWbyJbFWHHbimUvfSx6u609LPf | af8tsq | {
"description": "thinking my girlfriend cheated on me when she stayed up for the whole night drinking with one of my guy friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for thinking my [17M] girlfriend [17F] cheated on me when she stayed up for the whole night drinking with one of my guy friends [16M] | I'm relatively new to reddit so just bare that in mind as this is literally my first post and this seems like the perfect sub-reddit for this.
​
So for a bit of context this happened just under a year ago now and at this point I don't like bringing it up anymore because I feel guilty for making 'accusations' I guess you could say and I can tell it makes my girlfriend uncomfortable whenever I have tried to have a conversation about it in the past. Anyhow, here we go:
My girlfriend's parents no longer live together and for the weekend she was staying at her dads house. Her dad had gone out of town for maybe 3-4 days over the weekend so she had the house all to herself for the time being. I stayed the night at her dad's with just me and her after her dad had left which involved our regular activities of spending time together as a young and in love couple. After spending the night I had work to go to in the early afternoon which I was kinda bummed out about but I enjoyed my work anyway (worked in a rugby orientated pub/bar with great people).
That same morning my friend, lets call him \[Fred\], came over before I had left for work as he lived maybe 10 doors down and him and my girlfriend had agreed they were going to spend some time in the free house mostly smoking up (my whole friendship group consists of massively avid stoners) which I saw absolutely no problem with of course. Bare in mind Fred is known to be a massive fuckboy who has fucked multiple girls while on drunken fuelled benders which also plays a role in my thought process of the whole situation.
Now for the rest of the story, please just remember that I was not present for any of it and was at work which I went straight home from at about 1am.
My girlfriend invited one of her closest friends over as well so it was three of them there at her house (two girls and one boy). I don't know what they all got up to together in detail whatsoever but they had run out of weed at some point and so instead they started playing drinking games to pass the time and stay entertained I suppose.
It had started to get later and later until it was probably about 2/3am and they had all been drinking consistently throughout the time that's passed. (My girlfriend is a heavy weight when it comes to drinking, so is Fred but I cannot say the same for my girlfriend's friend).
It had reached a point where my girlfriend's friend decided to hit the sack (respectable choice in my opinion) and call it a night; surprisingly, my girlfriend and Fred decided to stay up drinking for longer, rather than my girlfriend telling Fred it would be a good idea to go home seeing as it's getting so late and he lives so close and her figuring that it could look really suspicious from MY perspective.
They continued to stay up the rest the night not getting a wink of sleep between the two of them and were clearly entertaining each other enough to decide it was worth it to stay up rather than get some sleep for whatever reason.
At some point Fred and my girlfriend's friend did leave and my girlfriend told me about her crazy night. Straight away I was completely uncomfortable with the situation and I explained this to her whereby she responded with claims of 'lack of trust' and 'jealousy' of Fred and that I'm crazy for even thinking something could've happened between them ass they 'couldn't be more than just friends in any world and timeline'.
For me it's weighed over my head for the longest time and I would be lying if I said I haven't cried over it because in my head there's almost no alternative other than that she cheated on me even though I genuinely have masses of trust for her but it's purely the situation of staying up for the WHOLE night (which I can confirm she has NEVER done with me, be it with drink involved or not) and that large amount of alcohol were involved which can easily make you chose to do things which you come to later regret.
Anytime I bring it up my girlfriend it ends in tears and she hates it because she thinks it's because I don't trust her and it's certainly fractured my friendship with Fred to the point where I can barely even talk to him anymore because of the idea of him fucking my girlfriend.
My girlfriend and Fred were very close after the fact until he moved further away from her house and now they're a lot more distant I think in part because of the distance and because of the clear discomfort I feel about their, I guess 'too close for comfort' friendship.
​
I've tried my best to include all the most important information but some bits have been left out as they are minor details which shouldn't largely affect judgement.
​
TL;DR: My girlfriend and my friend stayed up until maybe 7am or so playing drinking games in a free house where anything could've happened and it's not as if she would admit she cheated on me with him as it would mess up a lot in my friendship group as well as my life.
So reddit what do you think?
​
​
​
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
gOttWo42cpPErTP900nqIMSctZC9HRbY | a2zpsv | {
"description": "going behind a manager's back at work and speaking to a higher up",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for going behind a manager's back at work and speaking to a higher up? | Basically, I work for a very large company in a call centre type situation.
I am one of the agents here who knows the most and I have a natural knack for training, so I have been previously given the task of training up new starters to the role.
Recently I was approached by the OPS manager and asked if I would be willing to switch over to a night shift for this month to train the new members of staff starting next month.
I was told that I would only have to come in to cover the days that the night team leader wasn't on site, so I agreed because it would be great for a resume as well as net me a large bonus end of month and put me forward for any roles that might open up in senior management.
The ops manager was happy and told me I would have to liaise with the night team leader to make a plan.
I went to meet the guy and it was 100% clear he didn't know what he was doing. He told me that on the days he was in he would struggle to get any training done because he was "extremely busy." I later found out he goes into a conference room and naps all night.
Whatever, I agreed to this so I'm going to do the best I can. I met the staff being trained and quickly realised they had no idea what was going on. No one even knew the name of the department, the type of role, or even what their day to day responsibilities were. I worked really hard to get them up to speed, all the while working off my own training materials wirtten by me and a curriculum I built since the night TL didn't have anything prepared.
Even so, I realised very quick I could not get all the people trained up to be ready to go live within the timeframe they wanted on my own. I made sure the night TL knew that and he never really seemed to bothered. But for me, I needed to do a good job at this since, it wasn't my normal job and I needed to make a good impression for the ops managers.
Over the course of a few days I emailed him several times with the curriculum I built, the training materials I wrote and everything he needed to train the new guys, but after a few pleasantries he stopped responding to emails.
I eventually had enough and sat the ops manager down and told them what a piss poor job he was doing and made sure they were aware I wouldn't be able to train these staff completely on my own.
They agreed and said that they would build the training around my curriculum and build an expectation from him to actually train.
After all that, I found out that he's now really mad at me for going behind his back instead of speaking to him.
Is it right I don't really care? The guy could have fucking replied to my emails and actually gave a shit about training. If your performance is going to reflect poorly on me even if you're a manger I don't give a fuck. I'm going to do whatever I need to to make sure anything I put my name on is done to my standards. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
AsYONXqST9XB4CUMSSwrPTvzm92UYYYO | asua4q | {
"description": "telling my friend about an art haow he wasn't available for",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling my friend about an art haow he wasn't available for? | So, a teacher I knew from high school told me about some tickets that were available for this very exclusive art show happening near my college campus, and she said someone she knew had gotten donated tickets to it, and wanted me to go see the exhibit since I've been unable to get tickets. So this was on Wednesday, so I text up a few art majors and ask if they are available on Friday 12-9, since donated tickets can happen at any time of the day that the exhibit is going on. She gave me this number of someone, and told me to be very secretive about it, and not to tell anyone. So I text my friends and was kind of vague but I said, "you need to be available during this time, but it's an exhibit you really really would love to go to.". I would then tell them the name of the artist once I knew for sure that I was going with them, but there was one guy I texted and he said he had work that day, and when I texted him again on Thursday to see if he wanted to go, he didn't respond. So when Friday came around, I told him about the artist I was seeing since I would post the pics on social media. No one knew how I got those tickets except the person I went with. He then calls me asking if I have another ticket, which I don't, and he just hangs up. I saw him again today and he got really annoyed at me. I guess I may have been so wrapped up in keeping everything under wraps, but he didn't really respond to me, and said he had work. So, am I the asshole? I feel kind of bad.
Tldr; I offered to take someone to an exclusive art show, they said they had work, and I went without them and now they aren't talking to me. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2avwhQebZQ1A9QlkTKVey53bK0HeOKxy | a8iq8j | {
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my dad",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA? I don’t want to hang out with my dad. | So a little info: I’m 17 years old, going to be 18 in a couple months. I work part time at a grocery store, and I have 4 siblings.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to do stuff with my dad? He texted me earlier saying he is going to bring me hunting in the morning (sometimes I go on my own if I want to) and I told him that I have work at 12 and he said that if I don’t go he’s taking my truck, phone, and everything else away.
I’m working an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow and I really don’t want to be tired for work and I would rather not wake up at 5 am just to go sit in a blind for a couple hours. I like to go hunting sometimes when I want to do it, but it just aggravates me he treats me like I’m 7 and not 17.
He’s already told me as soon as I’m 18 I’m packing my shit and getting out and that he’s not going to help me, which I don’t understand why. I’m his oldest living son and he has this idea that if he’s mean I’ll be tougher or something. Another time not to long ago my distant cousin was having a wedding out of state and he wanted us to go. I told him I had work the day after and he said that I’m just going to have to quit because we are spending the weekend there. Well my mom had to step in and tell him it was bullshit that he was going to make me quit because of that and so we just headed back early the next morning.
The whole “you’re going to do this because I want you to” thing has happened all my life and now I absolutely hate seeing family, I hate sports, and I am starting to hate hunting. He’s working backwards against himself and making me hate stuff by trying to force me to like it. So am I the asshole for all of this? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
gHNgKIsOiswnFHM0eGdEcLXNJV9vRHdM | af5zha | {
"description": "not wanting to try anymore",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For not wanting to try anymore? |
Apologies for the terrible formatting and grammar as this is my first post.
Some background:
I met a girl through a friend and arranged to meet her at said friends party (in September), one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. We had a date the next day so from then we were dating, the date went alright and we kept talking from then through to my birthday with a fair few arguments dotted through the time.
Just over a week before my birthday (in November) we had a huge argument about her going to stay at an ex-boyfriends house for a week, later on in the month and me not being comfortable with that a few days after said argument she tried to break things off with me but I said to give it a few days before you decide to make it final then (I found this out the other day) she apparently flirted with, sexted and arranged to sleep with another friend of hers I'll call Steve, he apparently canceled on this I don't know the reasons why. (I'm assuming this is why she tried to break things off with me), A few days before my birthday she changed her mind about wanting to break things off so we fixed things and she came down early for my birthday and things went well.
She went to see her ex for a week later in November and she let him go through her phone which caused more arguments as I again wasn't comfortable with that as he went through our conversations and others apparently and she refuses to even let me look at her screen when she's on it never mind go through it as its private as it should be.
we repaired things again and things were going well until December when we argued again because we had arranged a date for after Christmas and I suggested that because of how much we tended to argue I doubted that we would make it to the date, so she ended up breaking things off with me.
we sorted things at new years but after sorting things everything seemed to lead to an argument with her, she told me she was planning to see her friend Steve for a reschedule of November which she told me was initially to go to the cinema and she was just going to see him and was very firm on that fact, a few days ago i found out about her sexting steve etc from another friend, this caused a huge argument between us, she said that because we weren't actually in a relationship and she never went through with fucking him she didn't cheat and that she chose me over him.
yet she only came to see me and repaired things because he canceled on her, she claimed she loved me at new years which is why she wanted to sort things, during the argument she claimed she hated me and wants nothing to do with me anymore, shes blocked me so I can no longer speak to her.
she removed the block yesterday as I wanted to talk again to try getting her side of things without me arguing back and she said she doesn't want to try anymore repeatedly regardless of what I tried to say so I told her to "fuck off and be with Steve", she continued arguing afterward claiming that me being this way is what made her not want to try anymore.
later she was telling the friend that told me about Steve that she still loves me and still wants to try, she'll just give it time.
AITA for giving up?
​ | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
ol6vmuI2rxCgLfaZ77h5Z8bMowxfpZr0 | abph2g | {
"description": "wanting to wait for my parents to apologize",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to wait for my parents to apologize ? | Little bit of backstory here, my boyfriend and I (let's call him Adam) have been together for a little over 3 years, own a home together, and are happy in our relationship. My parents and I had a rocky relationship while I was growing up, but I thought we were overcoming that. I've brought home some real assholes in the past and my mom let me know that, but she's never said a bad thing about Adam.
On Christmas Eve, Adam and I went to my parents house. We had dinner and were sitting around having a couple drinks, so I invited my best friend and her boyfriend over. (She's been my best friend since we were 10, were now 22. Her and my mom are also close) We're having some drinks and we start talking about mine and Adam's work Christmas parties. He just started at his current job this fall, but his co-workers are awesome and he got on with them right away. He works at a small store with only about 10 other employees so the Christmas party was really small but tons of fun. Ive worked at my job for 2 years now, but the company I work for is huge compared to his. The Christmas party is always very formal and pretty dry. Adam made a joke about how how much of an asshole the owner of the company I work for is (he's not wrong either) and my dad comes flying around the corner yelling at my boyfriend. Telling him to shut up, calling him a prick, saying he needs to work harder because I earn more money, telling him he shouldn't say shit about my boss because he'd never hire someone like Adam, just going on and on. I cut him off, saying is this really necessary and he stormed upstairs. My dad is an old rancher, through and through. Stoic until the day he dies. I've never seen him act like that, not even close. My best friend and her boyfriend sat their mortified, and my mom wouldn't stand up for either of us. I needed to get out for a minute so I asked Adam to stay with Megan's (best friend) boyfriend while we went outside for a minute. We went to sit in my car and talk about what the hell we just witnessed. A few minutes later, my mom decides to come out and check on us. She starts by apologizing for my dad, and then starts going off about how lazy Adam is, and just attacking him in general. We argued for around 20 minutes until she just sighed and said something like "whatever, if you're happy, you're happy. This is between you and your father now." (This wasn't a civil argument either)
I went inside a few minutes later, said goodbye to Megan and her boyfriend, and told Adam we should go downstairs and go to bed. I started crying and telling him all the things my mom said about him and us. My mom has a history of doing things like this to me. She'll bottle up emotions, twist stories in her favor, and make up lies to suit her. Then she'll attack me with this twisted story she's cooked up. But I guess this one's been 3 years in the making.
My dad came downstairs with tears in his eyes, wanting to talk to me. I've only ever seen him cry 2 other times (when his mother passed, and when his best friend passed). I agreed to come and talk. He apologized for how he acted, and said that he needs to learn to accept that things change. He said he has a hard time accepting that I earn more than Adam, and although he works he feels he doesn't work hard enough. I said our jobs are challenging in their owns ways, and living in the small town we live in, we have to take what we can get. My dad said he try his best to accept everything we talked about, and try to change his old cowboy ways. He just asked that we would stay for Christmas. I begrudgingly accepted, only for him. I told my boyfriend and he was okay with it, we both agreed to act like nothing happened the next day.
And that's exactly what we did. We got up and opened presents, like nothing happened. We ate Christmas dinner, like nothing happened. We left for home, and said our goodbyes like nothing happened.
They made no attempt to apologize to Adam, or even to make an apology to both of us. Im not even sure they said goodbye directly to him when he left. My mom seems has no intention of changing her ways, or apologizing to either of us.
AITA for wanting them to come to me to fix this? Should I be trying to contact them and sort this out? We haven't spoken since Christmas day. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
v6ENv5kf06M43vLton3oScembamE6dsS | ayb7o2 | {
"description": "marking down a collegiate debate adjudicator for penalising my team for using specialised knowledge",
"pronormative_score": 38,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for marking down a collegiate debate adjudicator for penalising my team for using specialised knowledge? | Ok, so I’ll provide some background. My team went for a debate tournament. Every debate was judged by an adjudicator. After that, we had to mark the judges based on how well they explained their decision. Based on the scores, the teams and the judges could progress to subsequent rounds. One of the debates was on a topic relating to the Supreme Court (whether or not it should be comprised of political leaders instead of judges when deciding on particularly sensitive issues.) Now, everyone in my team was a law student. We didn’t rely too heavily on legal jargon, but explained the constitutional jurisprudence behind the judicial system, and how it’s undermined if filled with political appointments. (I’m not American, our Supreme Court justices aren’t appointed by politicians, so don’t get confused). We explained the working of the Supreme Court and how it establishes commissions and committees to investigate and prepare reports on many issues rather than relying on their own knowledge (to show that they weren’t oblivious to the problems faced by the common people, as claimed by the other side.) Anyway, our team lost it and the adjudicator said it was because we used specialised knowledge which wasn’t available to the other team. Now, this didn’t seem fair to me because I don’t see how it’s wrong to use knowledge about the Supreme Court in a debate about the Supreme Court. Nothing else could be more relevant. So I gave the judge a low score and made my teammates do the same. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 38,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 8
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 38,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
czpozT7zh0peOMurM1F08FTCed3af2C9 | 9zfdrt | {
"description": "postponing sex plans, or am I unwittingly playing games",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for postponing sex plans, or am I unwittingly playing games? | A guy messaged me on Scruff wanting to hang out. I said sure. The more we got to talking he started telling me he’d date me if the sex is good and we end up hanging out. Is it bad if that made me uncomfortable? I’m not opposed to dating, but we hadn’t even met in person yet. Regardless, I said nothing and I brushed it off as just him being eager.
He also got pissy if I took more than an hour to respond. I had to reschedule because of the holiday, and he said I’m a horrible person who plays games. Do i play games? I just told him it was just a bad week and next week would be better. He said:
“I told you last night my plans fell through. We discussed previously if they did we could hang after work last night. Then you say I can only come over 8am-9am then tonight you get off at 9 and say I can’t come till midnight”
I work 10 AM - 9 PM and I have things to do, and I do NOT recall saying he could come over if his plans fell through.
I FEEL like I shouldn’t worry about someone who feels entitled to sex with me, but was he being that way? Or am I the bad guy here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
EmhhYiGOrwSX4RfT5wcjSpGRwt1h8I9M | a2qee9 | {
"description": "telling my parents that I'm frustrated they took out college loans for me",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 24
} | AITA for telling my parents that I’m frustrated they took out college loans for me? | I still have pay them back since the loans are under my name. My parents basically told me in high school, you go to college and take out loans. I owe about 30k with a 3.8% rate. I am an engineer making good money but started paying my loans with just the minimum. Yesterday I got an email saying if I continue with the minimum payments I will owe 30,000 in just interest making my total bill $60,000. My parents never explained any of this to me and I’m frustrated they thought this was the “norm.” We are currently not speaking since they are saying I’m ungrateful and selfish. Am I though? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 24
} | WRONG |
1v7TSPzad2Hu2N4tEfOKSPqRmhL0sIR2 | aqo4im | {
"description": "trying to motivate my s.o to lose weight/get healthy",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for trying to motivate my S.O to lose weight/get healthy? | Just feeling a little exhausted & wanting some perspective.
I’ll start by saying that I love my S.O more than anything & he is the most attractive person in the world to me. This has nothing to do with his appearance, I don’t care what he looks like.
This has everything to do with concern over his health, his self esteem & the bearing this has on our relationship.
My S.O is obese & has been since I met him a few years ago. However in that space of time he has also expressed that he wishes to lose weight & generally improve his health & wellbeing. This has also been reiterated to him by his doctor for a long time now. He quit smoking cold turkey (one year strong now!) & I’m so immensely proud of him but his weight seems to be a persistent issue he’s unable to address.
I moved in last year & I’ve been doing what I feel is my best to support him without dictating his lifestyle. We’ve started cooking healthy meals together at home which has been great but I think he struggles with his portion-control as well as lots of junky snacking between meals. Initially he got off on a great start & got into an exercise routine & saw some progress. He’s maybe fluctuated up & down several kgs over the last year or so, it pains me with cynicism to say it but this is really only scratching the surface of how much he needs to lose to reach a healthy weight/BMI.
I love being with him but there’s things were restricted from doing because he can’t manage. He gets tired very quickly, hot & sweaty very quickly, which then prompts social anxiety so there are outings we have to leave early from or things we miss out altogether. His snoring is absolutely unbearable, we can’t sleep in the same bed together, I find this particularly upsetting. There is a lack of confidence I know he sees in himself, it breaks my heart.
For the last several months he continues to communicate his weight loss goals but backs it up with no action. This is causing fights out of frustration, mainly on my part because I feel as though he’s not putting in effort or taking his health seriously. I’m struggling to balance being a supportive observer or calling him out. Is it even my place to do this? Do I have any right in critiquing him for this? I have a genuine fear that one day I’ll lose him to a heart attack. I just don’t know how to navigate this. If I’m just being selfish please tell me.
It also might be worth adding that I’ve been in his shoes before too. I was very overweight & lost 30 kgs (66 pounds) some time ago. I know the struggle, I know the pain, I just want to help him. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
D4maU4x1kycDBwUw1pk38n3ziqzPnf9b | as8a7u | {
"description": "sleeping with my married next door neighbour",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 46
} | AITA for sleeping with my married next door neighbour? | I have an illness which leaves me in bed a lot of the time. Because of this dating is really hard and I get really lonely. My neighbour works from home a lot and his wife goes out to work some days. Me and him would sometimes take our dogs on walks together. I’m 21 and he’s 43 but we get on really well. He invited me in one time so our dogs could play together in their garden and basically one thing led to another with us. I didn’t stop it because I was lonely and needed the intimacy. It’s been going on for quite a while and I do feel kinda bad but is it really my fault or his? I’m not the married one and I need physical intimacy | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 30,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 16,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 46
} | WRONG |
hng4TRs59pjzQkGloSUKT8dLl0SH93dd | aqexcz | {
"description": "not erasing my contacts",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not erasing my contacts | I have been dating with my girlfriend for 6 months now. Our relationship was rought at the beginning, not going to lie, i did speak to some girls at the early stage of our relationship. But it wasnt anything like flirting, mostly in friendly matter. Eventually I let them know that i have a gf, and most of them stopped speaking to me.
She knows that most of the girls were only speaking to me because they had some interest on me. And she asked me to stop replying them and I did. I basically stopped meeting all my friends that were girls and keep in contact with some of the close one.
This month, someone pranked me that she was pregnant by me (a bad joke from someone) and another girl commented that my girlfriends shoes were fake. I showed both of my text to my girlfriend, for me both texts were funny. But she didnt feel the same way, she said that my friend is criticizing her by accusing her of using fake shoes. Honestly i was like "wtf" at the moment that i got that text but i didnt find it like a big deal because they are just shoes. It wasnt a nice comment someone could say about someones else shoes but i didnt find it as a reason to feel hurt.
Now at 6 months, she is demanding me to show her my phone. So she makes sure i am not speaking or flirting to anyone. Also, she is asking to eliminate all the girls in my contacts who i dont consider them as a friend. I told her "no" and that i feel she is invading my privacy and i never asked her to do those kind of things. I continued by saying that relationship is built on trust and not invading their partners privacy.
After that she started to cry saying that i was pushing her away, tell me reddit, Am I being an asshole?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
PKocUB8efFUKoIxebMeq7E5mLCDehaw4 | ax480c | {
"description": "ghosting my old group of friends I've known since highschool because I feel I moved on from all those friendships",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For ghosting my old group of friends I’ve known since highschool because I feel I moved on from all those friendships? | So I had a group of friends since highschool. I’m currently 23 years old and some of them I’ve known for years. To tell you the truth, it got to the point every time I would hang out with them it was draining. Some of them do drugs, still partying and I just feel I’m on a whole new level in life. I’ve been traveling a lot and honestly I feel I have nothing in common with them anymore, and a lot of them I stopped talking to out of the blue. I’ll say why at the end of this.
Here’s the thing. I’ve been realizing a lot lately and on top of that finding out who I want to be and who I want to be in my life. I don’t believe any of them were ever my real friends. The last time I seen 2 out of the group, it was literally 2 days ago and I told them I was planning on moving to New York. Instead of being happy for me, they were bringing me down. One of them even said ‘that’s dumb because if I move there how am I gonna know where everything is or how it works’ keep in mind I’ve already been there and EVERYONE has that issue when they move somewhere totally new which I told him and it seemed like he kept just trying to knock me down. At some point each of the friends I knew since high school have knocked me down majority of my life and I can’t name 5 positive things any of them have said EVER when I had good news.
I was sick of it and the people I knew.
So I went home, went on social media and blocked all of them including their numbers so they never have to reach me again. I hope they never see me again. But am I the asshole considering I knew them for so long even though I feel I’ve moved on and don’t appreciate shitty comments from so called friends? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ADfvpdWwibHmHSjB4W13S7zsltJPvBuo | am3u6v | {
"description": "telling close [friend] about suicide attempt",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for telling close [friend] about suicide attempt? | So this good (read non-romantic) \[friend\] and I have been close for a while, chatting every week and sharing a good amount about what goes on in our lives. We are both very busy with work (\[friend\] is particularly busy/stressed right now), and talked for the first time in about a month. A few days before this first talk in awhile, my depression/anxiety peaked a bit and, well, title. Note that I wasn't able to follow through, got immediate support from the hotline (which is an incredible service that I almost can't believe exists), and didn't get/need medical attention as a result.
​
When I told \[friend\] about this, \[friend\] breaks down crying and is clearly super upset. \[friend\] proceeds to stay up late talking to me about how I'm doing, starts messaging me every day to check on me, and is just generally great. I feel particularly bad because my schedule is whacked right now, and I frequently have unable to reply to these late-night messages cause I'm asleep or too tired to respond adequately (in latter cases, I try to send a brief response). These things together have really put lots of undue stress on \[friend\], who's had a stressful/emotionally difficult couple of years anyway.
​
In retrospect, I hope I'd be as good of a person as \[friend\] if I was told something like this, but it really seems like a dick move on my part to put this much emotional pressure on someone who's already super stressed anyway. I feel particularly selfish since I'm not sure how much this (very good) emotional support is actually helpful; my depression/anxiety seems to stem from me feeling like I am falling behind, am an idiot, can't produce good work, etc... I don't really know why I told \[friend\]; I guess I was still in some amount of shock and was just being super selfish. As an aside, I haven't talked to anyone else (except my mom, who I tell everything and I figured should really know), and am currently looking for a counselor.
​
Long story short; I am clearly an a-hole for letting myself get to this point, but now feel particularly like a dick for causing additional stress to \[friend\] despite (not really) needing to. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
K6h08vgRI4akS20z0kowMxtwFaeGCdC9 | az33en | {
"description": "trying to make a good decision for my family but leaving my mom in Colorado \"by herself\"",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for trying to make a good decision for my family but leaving my mom in Colorado "by herself"? | My husband and I recently decided to move to Texas as it seems to be a good decision for our family, we have two kids. The problem is my mom, who is in her mid sixties, keeps trying to convince us its a bad idea but mostly because she just doesn't want us to move.
Pros of moving: sell our house for a decent profit, cost of living is cheaper in Texas, we can buy land in Texas and build a home, no income tax (yes I know property taxes are higher but land/house value will be about $100k less then the home we have now), my husband is from Texas so there is family and friends, I can keep my job and it would be a good career move, we will be able to save for retirement and rainy days
Cons of moving to Texas: we have to leave Colorado and my mom says we are leaving her alone and she is very upset
Other thoughts: it is so expensive to live in Colorado and getting more expensive, even though I recently got a raise I'm not sure we could ever move out of our starter home to another home in Colorado as prices are rising quickly, I asked my mom to move to Texas when she retires (which will be soon) and she refuses
I feel bad but I think this is the best decision for our family as we will be able to save for rainy days but also retirement, right now we are really not able to do that. I'm trying to do the right thing for our family and she thinks I'm being selfish.
Love to hear y'all's thoughts. Thank you! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
mm6K8EQSBQopSLJrdBRzLNiiT8GmuCZM | ajm5zm | {
"description": "wanting my so to defend me to his family",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting my SO to defend me to his family? | His aunt and siblings all hate me - somewhat irrationally but I understand I’m dating him, not his family. The problem arises when they constantly bash me in texts and encourage him to leave me. For example, if they ask SO what he’s doing, and he says doing something with me, they make vomiting emojis and say shit like “bring her over, just bring your guns too”. When he defended me they told him I was trash and stopped talking to him for a month.
Most recently, his aunt kicked him out of the house because he let me park up the street from her house. Of course now she’s mellowed out and recently told him that she still loves him and that “his family will still be there once he gets rid of his gf”.
I don’t know why this infuriates me so much. Maybe because when his aunt kicked him out I ended up paying for his new apartment. Or that I’ve given him close to 9k to dig him out of debt for his business. Or that I’m the only person who’s stuck by him through a ton of financial and personal issues. Or that a lot of the issues we have are due to his personality, not just me. But it was just a huge kick in the balls when SO just responded with “OK love you too” to his aunt.
I got upset and SO told me I was overreacting and “making him pay” for something that wasn’t his fault. When i tried bringing up that I wished he had not responded or said something to his aunt about her comment he gave me the “it wouldn’t have mattered” “i just want my 250 bucks back in rent from her (for early eviction)” “why does it matter what they say”.
We got into a fight and I left super depressed. Now I guess I’m the asshole for ruining his day and not being supportive after a long day of fixing mechanical issues on his work truck. So I was just wondering, AITA for expecting some kind of defense from my SO when his family talks crap? I guess I can see his point where his family just flips a shit when he defends me but he could also just not respond? I don’t know what’s normal anymore. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
c3AxrqSPpm2L5jZNrMIRH2763d48IMKD | b8k2ue | {
"description": "kicking my gf's roommate out of her room",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for kicking my gf’s roommate out of her room | This has been bugging me for awhile and I want to know peoples opinions on it. I’m currently in a long distance relationship. I see my gf about every six weeks give or take. When we see each other it’s usually by way of me flying out to see her and staying in her dorm room.
After not seeing each other for over a month my gf and I like to have sex like the normal college students we are. Obviously she has a roommate but this roommate (who we’ll call T) goes home every other weekend and it usually lines up perfectly so there was never any conflict because she was gone.
A couple months ago I booked the flight like normal about a month in advance. My gf asked what weekend T was going to be gone so we could line it up and I booked it that date. Come to find out a week before that T mixed up the dates and thought I was coming the week before. So now she’s going to be there the weekend I’m there. No biggie. My gf politely asked if she wouldn’t mind staying with a friend for the couple nights I’m there. T initially agreed but in the week leading up she started being super passive aggressive towards my gf. My gf shrugged it off tho.
The first day I’m there my gf and I are in the middle of our business when T walks into the room without knocking. We barely are able to cover ourselves as she walks in grabs something and walks out without acknowledging our existence. My gf texted her asking if she could knock next time so no one has to see anyone naked ya know?
Her response was along the lines of “it’s my room and I shouldn’t have to knock to enter my own room. I’m doing you a favor by not sleeping there. I’ll come in when I want”
I honestly don’t understand this mindset. For 1 if she wanted to stay in the room that bad she could have. We obviously could have all shared the room since I’d be in the same bed as my gf. And it’s not like we sprung it on her we gave her a months notice. If we knew she’d be this upset about it we wouldn’t have asked. And I don’t understand how walking in on us having sex is good for anyone? A simple knock and no one is scarred.
We asked my gf’s sister and she said she would’ve done the same thing and that were messed up for even suggesting it.
So AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
7Trc9be4nw1KkkqNGxJASSBM33JZDUFm | b4dwd6 | {
"description": "quitting my job with no notice",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA for quitting my job with no notice? | I've been at this job for a few months. It was okay for a bit, just a job. Regular schedule, regular hours, decent pay for the amount of work. I can't say I was too super happy with it just due to the nature of the work but it wasn't anything awful. However lately it's gotten so fucked. My schedule has been changed with no warning and my hours are all screwy. Like this week for example, I'm usually morning shifts with another person to help but now I'm all afternoons with the exception of one day, where I have an 11 hour shift (no one else has those) with no help at all, on our busiest day.
I'm basically a janitor for some context. I work in a complex and there's typically me for the indoors and a groundsman to take care of the outdoors. On the day that I have an 11 hour shift, we have a BUNCH of people visiting the complex. I'm talking upwards of 400 people coming through, dirtying the grounds and indoors. And I'm expected to be there from 7am to 6pm, with no help, cleaning all of it myself.
I have an interview in the next few days and I'm wondering if I manage to land that job if I would be the asshole to just quit the one I'm at with no notice. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
IfoUyVTrvxyyC1Ar5OsdECeLjDaOOXhM | awgatw | {
"description": "being angry at a person for not referring my resume to a internship within my career field",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for being angry at a person for not referring my resume to a internship within my career field | So a couple of days ago, one of the staff at a UX program I had graduated from reached out to me about a internship at this company because they thought I was a good fit for it. She gave me the email address of a person that could refer me for the position and deadline to send in the resume and cover letter. Now I am a bit of a night owl and my sleeping schedule is the complete opposite of a normal person. I send in my resume and cover letter, which I admittedly did rush through, on 12 am of the day it’s due and then I went to bed 4 hours after that.
I wake up the next evening with an email from the referrer and they said that there are a few minor typos in my cover letter and a few edits that should be done to be resume before they would submit it in. They outline and circle everything on the documents I sent them that I should change and told me to get the edits done before 9 am on the 27th. They also mentioned in the same email that I should resubmit with edits because I would be a strong candidate for the job.
So then on the 26th at around 9 pm, I crank up my music and I get to work redoing my entire resume and cover letter. I even asked my friend to do some proofreading on my cover letter. After I was completely satisfied with how both of my resume and cover letter looked, I sent them to the referrer at 12 am on the 27th and go to sleep at around 4 am.
The next day, I check my email at around 6 pm while eating dinner and discover that the referrer had sent me an email at 9:27 am about how I had not capitalized the S in street on the address part of my cover letter. They asked me if I could correct it ASAP as it was on the top of my cover letter and that would be the first a recruiter would read. I go to my computer and did the revision and sent it to her at 7 pm after I had finished my dinner.
The next morning, I wake up early to help my parents with an errand and I get back an email from the referrer saying that because I had handed in my resume and cover letter late that she could not submit in my application with the rest of the candidates. So now the question becomes am I the asshole for being upset that they didn’t submit in my resume? And also WIBTA if I brought up how my application was not submitted to the staff at my UX program who had told me about the opportunity in the first place?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
X97ZJJSJ0ubhTbvi38PoRjRfJe565r2w | a60qts | {
"description": "disliking my family",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for disliking my family? | I'm Indian, and my parents are the stereotypical Asian parents: never satisfied with anything I do, restrictive, controlling, etc. However, if I need anything, reasonably speaking, they'll try to get it for me.
This all came to a head a year and a half ago, when I was choosing where to go to college. I was picking between my local university, which is top 20 for my major (aero), and UC Berkeley for mechanical. I wanted to go to my local school, as I plan to go to law school anyway and this is just a backup. Tensions were running high, and the weekend before May 1st (the acceptance deadline) they pretty much interrogated me and tried to mentally beat me down for 4-5 hours a night, trying to get me to change my mind. I wasn't in the best place mentally at the time, so I was upfront on the first day that I wasn't feeling great, thought I might be depressed and wanted to see a doctor. They laughed at me and said that was an obvious lie, then proceeded with the questions.
I have never been hurt mentally more than I was that weekend. The aftermath was horrible too - neither of them spoke to me for two weeks. It was only after I booked an appointment at the doctor and received a diagnosis of moderately severe depression that they started talking to me again.
Since then, I've been doing well here - I'm part of student government, I've had numerous event ideas that I'm working on for students here and I'm learning a lot - but like I mentioned before, it's never enough. I dread breaks or having to deal with them, because I just don't like them anymore. Traveling is awful since I can't just ignore them like I do at home.
I understand their concerns over my decision at the time - I was young (just 16) and it was a good chance - and I understand that they have done a lot for me. I also know that now that I'm 18, I may be allowed more freedom. However, I think they crossed a few lines with their response. I'd like to also make clear that they pay almost nothing for my schooling ($2000/year) and it'll be $0 for the next two years if things go to plan. My scholarships and my other endeavors have done that much. Despite this, they're essentially forcing me to stay in my major, which holds barely any interest for me anymore.
When I get to law school, I plan to keep my visits to holidays only. I can't help but feel like I'm a dick, but to be frank I can't let go of what happened and I just do not like them anymore - I may go so far as to say that I don't feel any attachment anymore, but I would need to think about that more. I just want to finally feel like I'm doing something for myself, something that I want to do. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
lIsMDt5k0zYwkGNGFvdt64dopUACi2WL | auxk2l | {
"description": "applying for food stamps when I'm not dying of starvation",
"pronormative_score": 51,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA if I apply for food stamps when I’m not dying of starvation? | I live paycheck to paycheck and some nights I go hungry but I have a roof over my head and my college is paid for. It’s just rough getting by working part time and going to school, I make barely enough to survive.
I’m considering going on food stamps but I really don’t think I’m struggling enough. I don’t want to be a leech. Im just really considering it right now because I’m hungry and my last paycheck went to rent (fuck February) and I have no money until weds day haha
So AITA? I know people take advantage of the system and I don’t wanna be one of those people but I think I need it | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 45,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 51,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vL2xUodx54hFfJWrMEnKCYOelaqGH0WY | ax9c9e | {
"description": "asking the parents of someone who owes me a lot of money to pay their kids debt so they dont get sued with huge court costs",
"pronormative_score": 139,
"contranormative_score": 55
} | WIBTA if i asked the parents of someone who owes me a lot of money to pay their kids debt so they dont get sued with huge court costs? | I loaned what I thought was a friend $1500 because her dream dog became available for sale and clearly she stated, in writing she would pay me back a certain amount per fortnight. This hasn't happened.
It's now clear she's ignoring me, the "won't even open your message while I'm constantly online on Facebook," no responses on SMS and so really the only option for me is to take it to court.
Even though it's an unloseable case for me, it's still time and effort, with no guarantee of seeing the money if she's too poor to even pay back the abysmal rate we agreed on.
I found her mom on Facebook, and have drafted what I was planning on sending to her:
"Hey. You may not know me and I'm still unsure as to whether it's inappropriate for me to send this message, but your daughter [L] borrowed $1500 off me to buy that dog she now has. There was a clear agreement in writing as to what has to be paid back and when and she is not paying it back. I send messages, both on Facebook and SMS and she ignores them - I think that's a clear sign that someone's dodging their obligations. The next step is to sue for it, which in this case for me is unloseable, but I'm just wondering whether or not to avoid the legal fees she'd be forced to pay you could either tell her to finalise it, or you could pay me it directly and then take it up with her. Apologies if this is out of line, but $1500 isn't something you forget about, and really this is for her benefit and not my own. "
Is this entirely appropriate, or is this going too far? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 43,
"OTHER": 137,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 6
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 139,
"WRONG": 55
} | RIGHT |
56vKsHrCwnxsqMWU03ATxbNIit1s7q7n | aqhj8x | {
"description": "not buying birthday presents",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA Not buying birthday presents | I don't buy anyone in my family (immediate and extended) or friends a present on their birthday. I always make sure I see them or call on their birthday and if we go out make sure to pay for meal/drinks/whatever.
I just don't see the big deal in buying someone something they probably don't really need or want just for that temporary joy of opening a gift.
I 100% don't expect a gift on my birthday and tell everyone not to get me one.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
2z6L3FM4Attk5mV3VFa0aLunRXEMzNqB | a6k8ls | {
"description": "not wanting to be more involved with my boyfriend's friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For not wanting to be more involved with my boyfriend's friends? | Hey, AITA. I recently got called an asshole and I'm wondering if it's true.
My boyfriend and I (together a year) like to play games online together, a lot of times MMOs. One of his friends, we'll call them Alex, tags along with us. Usually invited, sometimes not, but my boyfriend doesn't care if they tag along across games.
Now, I don't like Alex a bunch - I think they're a little dense and slightly annoying, but I treat them with respect and I'm as nice to them as I would be with a stranger. However, apparently they complained to my boyfriend that I only talk to them or play with them when he's there and that I am bitchy and he should tell me to be nice to his friends.
I haven't been mean to Alex that I know of! I play with them, help them in game, tell them gear they need when I'm asked, protect them from monsters they don't know how to fight... maybe I'm a little condescending in my head, but I've never been a jerk to Alex because I care about my boyfriend and this is his best friend's spouse.
When my boyfriend logs off, I tell Alex goodnight shortly after so I can go spend real life time with him. Alex's spouse (my boyfriend's bestie) also sent me a text asking why their partner isn't good enough for me.
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, am I really being an asshole here? I'm a private person and keep most people at arms length. I can count my friends on one hand, the rest are aquaintencis that I'm cordial to when we see each other - I'm friendly and joke with them like normal, I just don't get personal and close with them.
For the record, my boyfriend told them not to call me bitchy, because he's always there when we play and I'm pretty nice to Alex, and that I'm like that with basically everyone. Polite but distant.
I'm a bit anxious and annoyed now though, my boyfriend has been best friends with these people for over a decade and I don't want to cause a rift between them. I'm happy he's sticking up for me, but am I the asshole here?
tl;dr play game boyfriend friend, boyfriend friend mad | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BFZF0QZswLAoJcZERNVG1nvdK7PRZvUB | b54ndn | {
"description": "not wanting my bf to pay for his friend's vacation",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
} | AITA for not wanting my bf to pay for his friend's vacation? | My bf wanted to go to Berlin with his friends, but one of them is too poor to afford it. My bf just offered him that he would pay for the flight (he has quite a lot of money to spare). I told him I think he shouldn't pay, why spend his money like that, he might just as well throw it in the trash. He never even paid holidays for me. Though to be fair, I'm not that poor, but still, I'm his gf. He got pissed and told me to stop trying to tell him what to do with his money. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
} | WRONG |
ZmKdbChc2JDaaFyKySBZvBu41rNyqcZx | a1c3q9 | {
"description": "holding onto things my partner has said",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for holding onto things my partner has said? | Alright so a bit of backstory. My fiance and I went through some rough patches a little while ago, and my frustration levels were high. He has this problem with not thinking about how another person could interpret his words, so sometimes he'll say something REALLY offensive and genuinely not mean it that way. I've learned to let a lot of it go, and to try and see what he really meant instead of just jumping to the "he's an asshole" conclusion, but there are a few things he's said that have stuck in my mind, and make me angry just to think about.
The biggest one is when he said "It's just human nature to cheat!" while we were arguing about why he wouldn't take a job that kept him out of the house. He went on to tell me that he didn't trust "human nature" and thought I would sleep with our mutual roommate (also male) if we were left alone for too long. That one really burns me up. Not only is it SUPER fucking rude and insulting, it's super hypocritical! Our roommate would leave his then-girlfriend at our apartment while I also went to work, leaving my fiance and the girlfriend alone for up to 10 hours a day. He also has cheated on his previous girlfriends, but he was 15 and we're all terrible people at 15. I've never cheated on anyone, and have done nothing to warrant that level of disrespect, but he said it anyway and never really apologized for it.
IDK am I an asshole for holding onto this for months on end? It feels like I'm doing the "don't you remember when you made me feel bad on December 19th, 2013 at 6:38pm??" thing that bitter housewives do when their marriage is failing. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
HMeHWl2qJqKwgJiUq4zU1FfGUdikOoAG | auirsc | {
"description": "breaking up with a girl because she wouldn't talk to me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for breaking up with a girl because she wouldn’t talk to me | Hoo boy, I don’t really know where to start with my history with this chick. I guess I’ll just contextualize the story by saying we’ve dated on and off a couple times for the past year.
A couple months ago me and my ex broke it off for the second time. It seemed pretty final, it took a lot of time and energy but I finally got over her, just in time for her to come crawling back saying she missed me.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt and we met up so I could hear her out, I asked her what she wanted to come of this relationship and she refused to tell me. Whenever we talked she would avoid the touchy subject of our whole relationship being in this limbo without any real goal.
I got sick of it so I told her flat out that she needed to make up her mind, she then said, and I quote “I’m running away from this conversation” and got in her car and left, she obviously meant this to be a joke but I wasn’t having it.
The next day she came over to my house and I pleaded with her to tell me what was going on with her and she still refused to tell me anything in the slightest. I decided I’m sick of this ‘getting together, fooling around and breaking up’ routine and I told her we’re done. She didn’t take it well at all and she left without even saying goodbye.
Now bear in mind that we’re both teenagers so she could just be insane and irrational but I’m worried I messed up somewhere or if there was a better way to go about this. Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
G2QzXO3I57SuHxBpGvUnPwFp4dLkZyh6 | a8k89d | {
"description": "not wanting to propose to my gf on Christmas Day or her birthday",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to propose to my GF on Christmas Day or her Birthday? | We've been together for nearly two years, and I will propose one day but I'm in no hurry. We're also saving a deposit for a house so at the moment, a ring and a wedding isn't an expense we need.
However, her family, my friend and our friends keep pressuring me into doing so. Saying that it's perfect time to do so, it would be so romantic etc.
Aside from the saving for a house , in my opinion, people who propose on Xmas or a birthday just couldn't be bothered to get a proper gift and thought...."ah, I'll just propose".
There are 363 other days you could propose, don't do it on a day that's already taken! Imagine if your birthday was December 25th and for your entire life so far people have doubled up your gift saying it was a joint birthday and Xmas present.....and then your S/O proposed on that day too. That would suck balls.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
KZitS8d73aPYwUWLfgvJHT5H444fGKkv | a5b3w7 | {
"description": "not wanting to be friends with someone who refuses to get tested for sti's",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting to be friends with someone who refuses to get tested for sti's? | I've been friends with said person for over a decade, and while we were both young and reckless at one point, I've gradually grown out of the hook up culture and settled down, and have always tested myself periodically and used protection. She, on the other hand, has always and still refuses, to this day, to get any sort of sti-related testing, or stepping into a doctor's office, for that matter. I'm not judging her promiscuity, but her disregard for others' health and her own. She's confessed plenty of times that she's gone through hook ups regardless of whether the person has protection or not, has bragged about the amount of people she's gotten with to the point she doesn't remember the exact number, which includes homeless and explicitly sexually active individuals in our city. She's complained about countless ailments and discharges from both orifices, and other areas, and even through all this, she refuses to do anything about it. I'm considering just removing her from my life completely because I feel like I'm an accomplice for not stopping her from potentially spreading diseases. Aita?
Tl:dr: I don't want to be friends with someone who is most likely spreading sti's without any regard for her flings' well-being. Aita? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
6ThVlahClFpYtbNPQRD1GzCijesjnwOl | a1ejky | {
"description": "not liking anime while all my roommates love it",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not liking anime while all my roommates love it | 5 guys live in the house and 4 of them love anime. I’m the 5th that does not enjoy it one bit. I always walk home and it’s on and I just laugh and walk into my room. Problem is my room is right next to the living where all the anime is watched. I don’t ask them to turn it off, just turn it down. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
569nHc9RZ5xqBleUZYsdL2zXBrgzrRhh | ay64oc | {
"description": "playing explicit music for kids",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | WIBTA If I play explicit music for kids? | I gave birth to my first child a day after my birthday.
Instead of having a traditional baby one year old party for my daughter (who won't care cause she is a toddler and will still get cake) I am having a joint birthday party for her and me.
I have invited all my famy and friends and made it clear that it's for both of us and there will be booze and food and cake.
I am making a playlist of songs and have just realized a lot of my music has lots of cursing.
I know my in-laws and thier kids will be here should I steer clear of good music because of language?
I honestly don't think little kids understand cursing I mean they don't even talk themselves so...
And it's my house and my party and I don't sensor my music around my daughter. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
4feUW5V3Pz1XY9Bws3K42ydGYXHnkbXR | b72n3f | {
"description": "cutting an oblivious and phone obsessed family in queue at Disney World",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 31
} | AITA for cutting an oblivious and phone obsessed family in queue at Disney World? | Long story short, this family of 4 was in front of us for a ride that had a 85 minute queue.
Every time the line stopped they would sit down and bury their faces in their phones and be completely oblivious.
This was not a single file line (Orlando, Soarin for those familiar). Shoulder to shoulder probably 5 adult men could stand side by side.
This family would sit and look at their phones and eventually move when they managed to noticed.
I motioned a "cut" several times and finally got fed up and cut them. They left tons of empty space in front of them on top of not paying attention when the line moved.
My wife insists I'm an asshole and should not have cut and the family was talking shit when finally did about how rude I am.
Imo, it is not my responsibility to wait on a rude unaware family to decide to move in a cattle corral type line. They were inconveniencing not only me, but everyone behind me as well.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 28,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 31
} | WRONG |
Y63Zi9hbEMFtIcRxfXUDsl1oFYJThkX2 | 9xy4ei | {
"description": "being upset",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for being upset? | I have been long distance with my girlfriend for two years(the long distance part being a little over a year) and its been , a long distance relationship, but i have managed to call her every night even when she was 3 hours away. and that really meant a lot to me. the being able to say goodnight every night.
she has a new sleep schedule to get up in the morning. so she wants to start going to bed at 8:30 her time which is, 7:30 my time. the only issue with that is that i work until 8pm, my time.
she wants to start going to bed early so she can wake up at like 5 am her time to exercise before school.
when i get home i like to shower and then call her so i tend to call her at 9 ish and we end the call at 9:30 ish. so 10:30 ish her time is when i read her something and let her sleep. and its been such a good thing to me.
this morning she told me she doesn't want to wait for me after my shift at work :( and it just kinda hurt my heart to hear that. i put so much effort into doing that for her for so long. aita for being upset?
tldr: aita for being upset at my gf for her not letting me call her after work? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
5PwU8h72V6a0yna29Vu7Y1H8RqBnN2dm | 9v1tfv | {
"description": "not trusting my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA, for not trusting my girlfriend? | Reasons for not trusting her:
- we often agree that if I do something for her (that is greatly out of my comfort zone) she would do something for me. Everytime we agreed on something, I did my part, but when she was supposed to return the favour, she "forgot" and when I reminded her, she said she doesn't feel like doing it.
- I'm against weed, while she is kind of obsessed with it. She knows that I'm against it and we agreed that when she would smoke with her friends, she would tell me beforehand. About a month ago she did it but only told me a week later.
- when I said that she has to choose between me and weed she said that she chooses me and swore to NEVER smoke weed again. Yesterday she went on a trip with her friends for a few days and today whe messaged me that she plans on smoking. I remined her that she swore on not smoking ever again and she said that its not such a big deal and that she will smoke it.
Am I the one overreacting? One of the reasons I don't want her smoking weed is that she becomes a completely different person and often makes a fool out of herself.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
UtkVWNOR0aVjrjLISrTfBqeLdy0QmmrS | b27ftb | {
"description": "calling out my mom",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for calling out my mom? | First you guys need a quick recap story.
My mom had an large gamble edition for about 5 years ago. She is over it now, but put her and my dad in big debt.
I got my self a job around 4 years ago and ever since they they have bin borrowing money from me when my salary comes along. They usually borrow around 250-375$ give or take. And sometimes even up to 750$ which is a lot of money. It gets pays back in the end of the month, usually everything, but not always.
They pick me up from work at night when I’m don. But every month I pay them some money for the diesel and all. Not always as much as it cost, and sometimes more.
But lately when I try to say no when they want to borrow money they started threatening me with stuff that I have to move out, or that I have to find my self a new way to get home from work. And I’m honestly getting sick and tired of it.
So I’ve called her out on it twice now, and said that I’m sick and tired of her empty and emotionally based threats. Now she is calling me out for being arrogant and out of line, I should respect her more and be grateful for being able to live home for free. But I get no respect back, or at least it feels that way. It doesn’t even feel like I get taken seriously when I mention it.
But what I tho is that I bring home a lot of food and meat from work for free. And supplying them that way, so I feel like I’m helping at home, not by paying rent but in other ways? There life’s would never go around if they hadn’t borrow money from me every mont.
I should also mention that she threatens me to pay rent, but out of despite of her behaviour and attitude I’d rather move out but pay them money for living home.
Am I the asshole? Am I in the wrong and out of line?
Sorry for the bad spelling, I’m dyslexic. Just putting it out there | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.