id stringlengths 32 32 | post_id stringlengths 6 6 | action dict | title stringlengths 4 300 | text stringlengths 0 10.8k | post_type stringclasses 2
values | label_scores dict | label stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores dict | binarized_label stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
x64RUSrWZ0qp9qJV1XxXqDyXs7ijS8mG | aux7qq | {
"description": "asking someone to move seats",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For asking someone to move seats? | My girlfriend moved recently. Only three hours away, so it isn't as horrible as it could be, but we're both still in school. I don't have my license yet and I'm the older of us. We wanted to sit together on the bus because this was the last time we would see each other before she moved.
The bus only allowed two people per seat, and there weren't any empty ones. We asked a boy if he could move in the politest manner possible, which is odd for my rather abrasive girlfriend, and he seemed hesitant but willing, when suddenly this girl comes out of no where.
She tells us that we have no right to ask him to move, and my girlfriend argues back. The other girl's friend jumped in to defend her, and by that point I was thoroughly embarrassed at the scene we were making, but sure we hadn't done anything wrong, so I backed my girlfriend up.
By now we were holding up the line and another girl who I'd known for a few years offered to move. I felt sort of bad because I knew it was only so we'd stop arguing, but I still accepted. Until, that is, the other girl ordered her to sit down because "no one should move for us". Eventually the bus driver told us to sit down in seperate seats for the fact that we were holding the line up.
I don't know if it was because she had a grudge against my girlfriend (who she always seemed a bit rude to, and for good reason seeing as my girlfriend isn't toi nice), if it was a race thing (the boy we asked to move was asian, the girl who offered to move was indian, and the girls who yelled at us were black, so maybe they thought we were racist or something?) Or if we were actually the assholes here. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
GkhYceJ7uflK3rxGx3XMwdU8Dw8d8FaZ | b09hu1 | {
"description": "refusing to dance with a girl half my age",
"pronormative_score": 78,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA, I refused to dance with a girl half my age. | This happened at our staff Christmas party but is still bothering me.
For clarity, I've been happily married for 14 years and have 3 beautiful daughters who I love very much. My wife loves to dance and I hate dancing (important).
Also the party is for staff only, no spouses/partners permitted.
The staff party went well, I'd been hanging out with a few colleagues who know not to ask me to dance. I've had a few drinks, but am still comparitively sober and am thinking it'll soon be time to head home. I head to the drinks bar nearest the exit for one last glass before leaving.
While I'm there, an intern (roughly half my 44 years of age) approaches me with someone quite high up in the HR team and asks me to dance. I politely decline. She asks again, taking, I guess, my refusal for shyness (I am quite shy, but not especially introverted). I again refuse, stating that I don't even dance with my own wife, I'm not going to dance with her. She asks yet again. I very abruptly tell her to stop bothering me as it's just not going to happen. She leaves, her and the HR lady staring daggers at me.
Fast forward to January. I have to spend a lot of time on the intern's floor and each day I'm there she's giving me death eyes. I speak to her alone and apologise for upsetting or offending her as it wasn't my intention. She says it's fine.
February and March, still coldness and death eyes. I ask if we're okay. She doesn't want to talk to me because I was rude and hurt her feelings. So I've not made any more attempts to smooth things over and just put up with constant looks of contempt.
Am I the Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 78,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 78,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
poZrWbi6VinE3c1GnEckDIjGwS35BARN | apdr36 | {
"description": "telling my boyfriend that I'd rather spend my birthday alone if he genuinely doesn't want to do anything",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for telling my boyfriend that I’d rather spend my birthday alone if he genuinely doesn’t want to do anything? | We’ve only spent two of my birthdays with each other in the time we’ve been together and both times I’ve cried myself to sleep(it was completely unrelated to him because it’s just a thing that’s happened since I was 13). I feel really bad about this because I know he doesn’t care about stuff like birthdays and certain holidays but I would honestly want him to give somewhat of a fuck because those past two birthdays we did nothing but sit in his house playing the game and cuddling (which are things I enjoy but I wanted to go out since we never do). But this year I just kinda want to be left alone partly because I know this time won’t be different and because of depression I’ve been dealing with since October of last year. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
AGewWerD6fFANpYrXuxSEsQKDCn0umPM | al67we | {
"description": "being angry when my girlfriend said \"thanks, bye\" after telling her I love her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for being angry when my girlfriend said "Thanks, bye" after telling her i love her? | (Sorry for the accidental deletion)
My girlfriend and i had a long conversation on the phone, and i had to go. She was upset that i had to go so after i said "I love you" she said "Thanks, bye" and hung up the phone.
I was not happy about this.
She called me again and called me rude, and i said she was the one being rude, and i'm pissed.
She hung up right after that.
a few minutes pass, and i message her telling her why i was upset.
She replied telling me to go to hell and not to message her.
Am I in the wrong here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
hxFKhX2Q0HoVTVxGpKOBD3Vpko1uSzB3 | aw1sfx | {
"description": "wanting to report a professor to the Dean without knowing 100% if my concern is valid",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for wanting to report a professor to the Dean without knowing 100% if my concern is valid? | I’m in a computer science course and my professor has given us a massive month-long assignment that requires us to work in teams of four. Here’s the problem though. After he puts us in groups via random selection, he then goes through every group and manually chooses one student from each group he calls the “team captain”. He does not give us any sort of criteria for selecting this student. He then explains that this students job is to write down the “extremely specific” percentage of work each member of the team has done and turn it in with the assignment. This person is also supposed to take notes during meetings, give out assignments, and write down if another member shows up late. He says at the end of the assignment each team member must sign that they’ve seen the percentages and if there’s a problem come to him and he’ll look at the notes the team captain took each meeting. I feel this is completely unfair on two levels. One is that this setup is designed to make students compete and fight with each other to do more work and look good instead of actually working together, and students with more introverted personalities that don’t like to speak up for themselves will inevitably get shafted out of this. Second, I feel it is unfair both to the team captain for being given extra responsibility and a target of hatred from their teammates for an unknown reason and to the teammates themselves for another random(?) student essentially having so much control over their grades. I feel like this violates some kind of rule, but I’m not sure what specific one. The website says that in order to file a complaint I must speak with the professor first. I am fairly sure that even if I were to go to him with my concerns, he would simply defend his actions on how it’s actually fair. But perhaps my worst fear is obviously, this professor now knows exactly who I am and will never look at me the same again. I understand that filing a complaint is a serious thing for a professor and would not want to falsely inflict damage upon him if there’s no rule against what he’s doing. and I’m not even sure if he’s violating any rules in the first place. Would it be wrong of me to attempt to go behind his back and speak to a department chair? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
7YPeOLRcnYWV6Ub8PZ1VWNzbe4pY16WH | ayrb09 | {
"description": "not wanting to warn prospective tenants about a bad landlord",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for not wanting to warn prospective tenants about a bad landlord? | (Using a throwaway, hope that doesn't violate the rules of the sub)
Background: my partner and I moved to a new rented apartment about 8 months ago. When we agreed to take the place, the landlord committed to fixing a number of defects with the property (leaking pipes, dodgy electrics, cracked tiles, mould, old fittings). However, since we moved in, he's been a ghost. We made efforts to work with him on these issues, getting quotes from multiple contractors, offering to foot the bill for more cosmetic fixes if he would step up and deal with the critical quality of life issues.
Eventually, we lost patience and decided to move out. However, since we're breaking the lease early, the landlord has told us that we are still responsible for paying rent until a new tenant is found to replace us (this sucks, but as far as we can tell, the law is on his side). Now we've advertised the flat again, and have been showing it to new prospective tenants.
The problem is that my partner thinks that we should be honest with them about our poor relationship with the landlord, whereas I think that by doing that all we would do is screw ourselves over by scaring off people who would take over the lease and get us out of this situation. Caveat emptor.
​
Am I being an asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
} | WRONG |
90gSVK44d0cT01bwo5IubSxBQmUFuyzp | b56ohh | {
"description": "taking a break from some of my friends for cutting me out of their plans",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for taking a break from some of my friends for cutting me out of their plans? | So me and these 2 friends have known each other for quite a while. At least 5 years we have all kept in contact and hung out with each other at least 2 times a month. These 2 friends have also recently started dating within the last year, which has caused the guy friend, who I have known longer, to become slightly more distant over time. That's understandable to me, as I can understand why he'd prefer to spend more time with his gf.
With the last couple weeks, we had made plans to play DnD. These plans were set for last night starting at 9:30 PM since that's when I got off work. Everything was falling into place since we actually had the time to finally host a session.
However, at the last minute, and I mean within a couple hours of me getting off, they texted me saying that it wasn't going to work out, as the guy was too tired to wanna stay up. Fine, like I said I'm very understanding of them and what they wanna do, as long as their honest with me about why they don't want me with them. I'd prefer not to be led on if that makes sense.
So this morning after waking up, I saw that the girl had posted on her story on Instagram that they were playing DnD, and also with somebody else in place of me. I got pretty upset, and decided to unfollow them and just not talk to either of them throughout today. I just recently sent a text saying that I would like a break from hanging with them for a while, but as I was typing it up, I wasn't quite sure if I overreacted or not.
I plan on letting them know why I feel this way, I just want to know AITA for wanting to cut them out of my life for a while to reevaluate our friendship. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bDosde9HHb2ghaA9DyzWuUdVpoGl7cZp | b97jtv | {
"description": "asking to skip a 1.6km run",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA by asking to skip a 1.6km run? | For context: my friends and I are all students. In my country we have a physical exam once every two years, where we have to run 2.4km within a specific timing. My friend and I have been training to run 2.4 weekly, but it just so happens that in school our physical education class is also running, with shorter distances to build up our stamina.
Because we want to run in our PE attire rather than our blouses, my friend and I (let's call her Z) run in the mornings before school on PE days. However, since we run in PE class as well, we have started skipping our morning jog. However, we felt that the PE lesson runs weren't as helpful for our training so we asked our teacher whether we could skip the run during lessons to run in the morning (for a longer distance).
C = Teacher
M = Me
Z = Friend
T = Random bystander who's a reddit or so I thought I'd include her if she ever sees this
M: C, can Z and I be excused from running during PE lessons so that we can run 2.4 in the morning?
C: Why can't you run another day?
M: Well on Monday, Tuesday and Friday school starts earlier so we can't run, and we don't have PE on Wednesday so we will have to run in PE and change to blouse later.
C: Well just change and run on Wednesdays, I can't change the whole ciriculum just for you two (I just wanted to be excused, I didn't want expect her to change the whole schedule)
T: *watches*
It was a rather short experience but it left both Z and I feeling pretty frustrated. So, Reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
bIla9M4j5r59db9l5L6aI1h0ThOdl9bE | b04osb | {
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to get tattoo from her Brothers \"friend?\"",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to get tattoo from her Brothers "friend?" | This guy is a friend of her brother and they are both very unreliable stoners and dealing, but her brother friend had recently gotten into doing tattooing, hes done a job on her brother before which looks okay I guess. TBH I do not like him, and I don't want the tattoo done on her by him. It makes me feel weird and it just feels wrong, I've had a few arguments about it to her..
She has a being going to the same person for her last 5 tattoos and from first to last and she wants to try someone "new" she won't go to anyone else she wants her brothers friend to do it, I even suggested a dozen different people even a few I know and she says I can't control her and she wants someone cheap, I told her I'd rather pay the tattoo in full from a Professional then getting it done from a doll bludger(someone who lives on a youth allowance in australia) who does nothing but smokes weed sits around and deals and has just left school.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
fyyYIUQjb1WAOjkdpuIx4h4XtWrtUCBi | aosn8m | {
"description": "working instead of hanging with my (ex)girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for working instead of hanging with my (ex)girlfriend? | This happened a bit ago, and I just got on reddit, but I still wanted to see what’s up. So some context for this. I’m a high school student who goes to an art school, I’m involved in the music program. I’m in jazz band, chamber choir, and a few other top tier classes, so I have responsibilities to keep up with so I can stay in those classes. My school was doing Chicago the musical, and our jazz band was providing the music for it. The problem with this is that for the 3 weeks leading up to it, rehearsals were mandatory, with the threat of getting kicked out the production and possibly jazz band. Because of this, I needed to work as much as I can in order to save money to pay my car insurance and car payment. On winter break I worked everyday that I could, expect for Christmas and Sunday’s (I work at Chick-fil-A so those were the only days that we were closed) and I would work long hours. I even worked on my birthday. I talked to my girlfriend (now ex) about that and she understood that I needed to work to save money. The problem is that when her birthday came around, I was scheduled to work 1- close. A few days prior, my bathroom flooded cuz one of the pipes exploded, so we had to take out everything and build a new bathroom. The morning of her birthday, I was up since 8 to help us fix it, and I didn’t stop working until 12 so I can shower and go to work. That morning I said happy birthday, and told her that I was gonna be busy cuz of the bathroom situation. She asked what time I got off at work and I said I closed. She got mad at that, saying that it was her birthday and that she wanted to see me. Her and I talked about my working situation a lot, and I told her that if she wants to do something, I need to know ahead of time so I can make arrangements for it to happen, but if it’s last minute and work is in the way, then I have to chose work. I told her “I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do about it” and she said “well if you really wanted to you can”. That’s when I got mad, because there’s literally nothing I could’ve done to change when I got scheduled, but even if I could I needed those hours. I told her “you didn’t make plans with me, so it’s not like we were gonna do anything anyways” (not the best thing to say but yeah) then she got hella mad and started calling me selfish and that I didn’t love her and that I should’ve made an effort to drop things because it was her birthday. After we finished closing, I drove to her house so I can see her and I apologized about it, but she was still mad at me
TLDR: I had to work a lot because I needed more y to pay for my bills when I was going to have 3 weeks of no working do to school. I worked on my (ex) girlfriends birthday, and she got mad that I didn’t see her
AITA?? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
} | WRONG |
1X4UfSEXh9AWcBVMfvRv69dNzRNAs35e | ab168j | {
"description": "asking my friend's ex out",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I asked my friend's ex out? | I'm not gonna do it either ways, but just wanna make sure I did the right thing by not asking her out, because I feel an asshole already just because I thought about it, even though I didn't do it, and I'm not going to... | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
MZ6LOWKmCZWRVDeH45KF1X0EdYJqYOF6 | b05tqk | {
"description": "not thanking my friend after he caught my cat that got out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not thanking my friend after he caught my cat that got out? | My friend, K, has been living with me (and paying rent, though his name is not on the lease) for the last 2 months. The whole situation is shitty because he was originally supposed to stay for 1 month and still shows no signs of leaving anytime soon, but that's a whole other ordeal. Just know that tensions between us are high.
K loves my cats, and even feeds them for me sometimes without me asking him to. I'm always grateful and thank him whenever I notice him doing it. But they can be little shits, and one of their favorite troublemaking hobbies is gallivanting through the halls of my apartment building, which, as indicated by my lease, they're not supposed to do. But sometimes they're too quick and squeeze by me before I can stop them. I don't mind it much though and I almost always catch them before they get too far down the hallway.
Now, I just started a new job yesterday morning. I haven't been feeling well and couldn't sleep much the night before, so I was exhausted that morning. K, knowing this, went out to the grocery store down the street while I was still sleeping and bought me an energy drink and a snack to get me through the day. I thought this was really sweet of him and thanked him for it several times throughout the day.
Fast forward to tonight, I'm trying to nip a potential ear infection in the bud by pouring some hydrogen peroxide in my ear. Anyone who's done this knows how unpleasant it is, and to top it off, I'm particularly squeamish about things touching or going inside my ears. K knows all this, and I was also very vocal about my discomfort while it was happening. K decides now would be a good time to tell me that one of my cats got out as he was leaving to buy those snacks for me. The cat led him on a wild goose chase throughout the building, running up and down several flights of stairs before K could catch him. I sort of half-chuckle and say, "Yeah, he can be a shit."
So there I am, head cocked to the side and nursing this peroxide bubbling in my ear, and K just says, rather rudely, "You're welcome."
I was caught off guard by that so I didn't say anything. K says, "Wow. Really, nothing?"
Cue some bickering. I told him that I would have gone out and caught the cat myself if I knew it was happening, and also, what else was he going to do, just leave him out there? K responds, "Just because something's common courtesy or expected doesn't mean you shouldn't still say thank you." I'm annoyed at this point so I halfheartedly apologize but I tell him that I didn't realize a thank you was expected or necessary in this situation.
He responds, "Whatever, it's a really minor thing anyway." I reply, "Yeah, it really is." Thought it was over. He says, "Maybe the next time you do something minor I'll just forget to thank you for it."
Then I told him to fuck off and went to bed.
So, Reddit, AITA for not thanking him or is my friend TA for expecting a thanks? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
qJOGul9Yf7iqsxqKEk62vuYRylBCGltH | a92nyp | {
"description": "making my gf carry her stuff and letting her clean her mess and making her pay for her own food",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for making my gf carry her stuff and letting her clean her mess and making her pay for her own food? | Ok , so , me and my are together for a long time. But , i get infuriated sometimes because she pulls the “gender card” quite too often , and all this womens rights stuff thats not really applicable to a normal conversation ...
. So sometimes i just jokingly say, “hey .. gender equality...” when she goes shopping and i dont carry her own bags.. or when we go out on dates. I ask for a separate tab. Is that being an asshole or just normal?
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
} | WRONG |
c7ZYUUA0ZmNW9B4mxLg9SALuoB9S15H5 | afcra4 | {
"description": "hating my best friend's other friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for hating my best friend’s other friend? | Some context for the story. My friend, let’s call her Maria, and our friend group have been friends for 6 years. We’re all very close and are almost like sisters.
About 5 years ago, she met her friend who’s not in our friend group. Now, I’m pretty sure we were all open to the idea of being friends with her too, until she expressed how much she hated us. It’s not even just being “fake”, she doesn’t even try. Her reasoning for being that way towards us is because she thinks Maria can do “a lot better” than us. For example, she’ll text Maria and ask “where are you?” And she’ll respond “I’m with my friend group”. And her friend literally responds “ew” whenever our names are mentioned.
The other day, I was joking about picking between us or her other friend. Although I was joking, I almost meant it. I don’t want her to pick sides but in my opinion, it makes us uncomfortable that she overlooks it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | INFO | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
GeJn5Tws2SZbTMAyh5CoiUglVcvS8cj8 | aqcj0d | {
"description": "not wanting my kid to be a year older than everyone else in their grade",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not wanting my kid to be a year older than everyone else in their grade? | Our son is getting to be school aged, and my wife is insisting on a schedule that will see my him turn 19 the spring of his Senior year of highschool.
Would I be the asshole for insisting that he go to school earlier? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 3
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sGxRcUxdGGgkg2gYbT5MSvb0HTN5quDn | ak09mb | {
"description": "putting down my girlfriends mothers cat, without her knowledge",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For putting down my girlfriends mothers cat, without her knowledge? | Ok so hear me out on this as I know it sounds bad.
The cat was bought by my gfs mother, but was also raised with my girlfriend her entire life. My girlfriend considers the cat part hers and sees it everyday.
This cat was elderly and infirm. It was blind, deaf, had no control of its bowels so it was constantly laying in its own urine and feces until someone found it. It could not move on its own.
It is on so much medication that it doesnt even recognize people anymore. It has to have its face held against a bowl of water to drink and a plate of mushed up food to eat.
There was no quality of life. This upsets my girlfriend greatly. I volunteered to destroy it and end its suffering, however my girlfriends mother refused. She said that she would rather it die naturally. This in my girlfriends opinion is cruel, and she sends me to put it down discreetly.
The cat was already heavily medicated but I followed the proper protocols and injected it with a sedative before giving it an overdose. It felt nothing and died quickly, I measured its breathes as I held it in my arms until it expired.
I placed it back down for my girlfriends mother to find. My girlfriend is upset but thanks me.
My sister (who i told) believes i shouldnt have destroyed the cat without the mothers permission, despite the undue stress on my girlfriend and the cat. It was a slave in its own body. Am i the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
I3kx4irmfyynoaiRIgAlyzRQcdLYE0nu | 9z5kiv | {
"description": "not thinking my little sister is cute",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA if I don't think my little sister is cute? | First off, I understand that beauty is relative and is in the eye of the beholder, however most of my friends and non family members agree that my little sister is *not* cute, even for toddler standards.
Let me start this by saying I have two half-sisters, both younger and all of us are from different women. (They are 11 and 2 years old respectively, i'm 18.). I am referring to the younger one. I love them both dearly like any older brother and care a lot for them.
That being said, neither of them are very good looking. All of us highly resemble our father, me being the most similar. My dad is a good looking guy, is young (40), looks even younger (early 30's) and plays a lot of sports/gyms regularly. He has very masculine traits such as a defined jawline and strong cheekbones. Now those aren't bad genetics to have... as a guy. The 11 year old wasn't the cutest child because of that but she's pretty normal and is getting better, I think she'll be a very beautiful woman in the future.
Now regarding the youngest, she is an objectively ugly child. I know this sounds harsh but please hear me out. She inherited all of my fathers strong masculine traits, and most of my step-mother's bad traits. I just don't see the cute part, I can't. I know people change in life, especially at such a young age, and am fully aware she will still develop a lot, but at this current moment, she is not a good looking person. I've mentioned this to my dad, and he'll tell me im being mean but never actually disagrees with me in any way. He's not the type of guy to lie to himself either.
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
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FJBslGPfmlOiL8cQw5yy3UMX5GbVuiTG | b7tdu4 | {
"description": "saying a girl I slept with has a sour cream dip smelling vagina",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 39
} | AITA for saying a girl I slept with has a sour cream dip smelling vagina? | I'll try be brief without being vague.
I'm friends with alot of co workers from my previous job so I still get invited to after work drinks etc. which was where I met Kylie (a fairly new employee). Fast forward through weeks of flirting, we started hooking up every now and then over a month and a half until she cut it off because she met someone.
I was completely fine with that because we had always agreed it was a FWB/no strings attached type of thing and I was slowly distancing myself anyway because as far as I could tell her hygiene was going downhill. We wished each other well and hadn't spoken since. This was 2 weeks ago.
Heres where I maybe fucked up. Last Friday I was at one of the ex co workers birthday party when my friend asked what happened between me and Kylie. I told him what happened and that I was fine with it because her vag was starting to give off a sour cream dip stench. (A lighthearted joke but not a lie). He had a laugh then we continued on with the night.
Come to this morning and I get a text from Kylie telling me I'm a piece of shit for spreading shit about her amongst her co workers along with some other choice words. This is 2 days later. I didn't spread anything I literally just told my friend as a passing joke without anyone around. I'm pissed at my friend because I don't see any reason for him to repeat that shit unless directly asked which he obviously wasn't because wtf.
I know Kylie isn't the asshole but who is out of the rest of us? I told someone something that wasn't supposed to be repeated and it took 2 damn days to get out | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 2,
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} | WRONG |
qcv5SCDj4P7DO22yt92AZqwp9ONgXe85 | b6kx88 | {
"description": "cutting off my clearly mentally unwell friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for cutting off my clearly mentally unwell friend? | She has been my best friend since Grade One, and we lived together in university for four years. We graduated in 2014 and I moved to a different city to pursue my Masters while she moved back home. We are 26 now.
Since December 2017, she has been exhibiting delusions and paranoia (thinking water sprinklers in rooms are cameras; thinking the FBI is following her; inferring a significance from licence plates; she thought she was poisoned and was brought to the hospital and it was found to be "psychosis due to exhaustion"; seeing an arrow in the sky and thinking it's pointing her in a direction). She abuses her Vyvanse prescription and smokes weed sometimes; she used to smoke weed every day. She posts long, incoherent posts on Instagram with unnecessarily wordy language (but that has always been her style, it's just amped up now). She is very spiritual and into numerology now, especially the number 1. On the eve of my late father's birthday, she got upset at me because she thought that I expected her to give me something even though I explained over and over I did not. She doesn't believe me about anything. She is very isolated, she has had difficulty keeping friends in the past few years.
She lost her brother last summer (definitely a trigger, I acknowledge) and since then has been spiralling downward. She has been incredibly narcissistic but justifies it as "setting boundaries". I totally get this - I fully support being selfish in the wake of grief but not when it begins to hurt other people - she has told multiple exes that I have been trying to sleep with her (this is untrue) and that my current girlfriend looks like her because I secretly want to be with her.
Recently she made a poor decision to meet up with an ex while her current (but now ex girlfriend) was clearly unhappy. I told her that maybe it wasn't the best decision and she blew up at me. She called me evil and abusive. She's done the same to her now ex whenever they would argue.
She is a person you simply can't confront about her behaviour because she doesn't see it and if she does, she has every reason (she believes) to justify it. For some context, I used to be childishly mean with her when we lived together (i.e. throwing candies at her while in our living room, acting like sisters). One day she got SO upset at me, she flat-out told me I was mean, and (without trying to toot my own horn) I realized I was a dipshit and I tried to make the effort to my kinder, and I think I have been since then.
I just want nothing to do with her now, selfishly. She has made little effort towards our friendship since I moved (to be fair, mental health could have played a role as well as finances) so I'm not too invested anymore. Should I stay to ensure she's okay or can I go on my separate way?
She also isn't close with her family so telling her parents about her behaviour is not an option. | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 8,
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} | RIGHT |
M2tMwxmFAuzeenq64MzHs2kZ374rhbIr | b50pp6 | {
"description": "snitching on my friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
} | AITA for snitching on my friend? | A little back story. So I met this girl (just found out she is 15) a month back and we started “dating”. Turns out she just wants to be friends which is fine by me. A little bummed out but no skin off my nose. We talked a lot and she struggles with depression and she claims she has a lot of responsibilities in her life and it’s overall very crappy. I comforted her as best as I can and I advised her to get back on track in life and go back to school. She basically ignored all my advices and said she doesn’t want things to get better.
Alright so on Friday, she went to her friend’s house to smoke marijuana and drink. Keep in mind she’s 15. She told me she nearly passed out and felt like crap. I thought it was really irresponsible of her friend to enable her to do this. We had a argument over text last night which basically was me urging her to do better and do the right thing. All she had to say was she didn’t care and she just wanted to give up because she’s too lazy to do anything. She told me she planned on going to her friend’s house to smoke again today when I asked to meet her so we can talk. She lives with her mom and she told me her mom doesn’t know. So at this point, I found her mom on Facebook and texted her and basically told her what was going on with her daughter. Her mom thanked me for telling her. Now she and her best friend spammed my text calling me a dick and said it was a dick move. I told her best friend that I was worried for her health and what she was doing was very dangerous. She shouldn’t be involved with people like that. But she told me what I did won’t solve anything and will only make things worst.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 6,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
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ZEJD5tYXNePVotrBoWxB09trF5ZSQi2d | afg01b | {
"description": "being blunt to my classmate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being blunt to my classmate? | AITA for acting like this?
So, background:
I am a computer science major. In the particular semester in question, many projects were filled with intense team work, collaboration, and 'figure it out yourself' stuff. Personally, I am an A student, have a background in at least the beginning coursework, and have been known for taking some time to help others.
On one team project, I am paired with two classmates I know pretty well, and one guy who joined because he couldn't find another group. This guy will be referred to as X.
I've never really talked to X before this, but he was known for lying, and not knowing much.
At one point, X claimed his grandfather worked on Stuxnet which, for those of you who don't know, is an extremely classified government project/computer virus of which little is known about. There is literally no way this kid's grandfather worked on this project, and he know about it.
X has also claimed to be excited to join the military and "shoot people," and has a story about everything. His highest grade was a C, and seemed alright with that.
Quickly into the project X made it clear that he was exactly as he appeared. He made little to no effort, and what he did had to be thrown away.
I, being a blunt person, repeatedly told him off. I said he was lazy, needed to contribute, and I was not putting up with his nonsense. I told him to stop talking and focus whenever he started making up stories while we were working, and rejected every offer of friendship he made because I didn't feel comfortable near him.
I told this kid I "wanted nothing to do with him " socially, and just want to get through the project.
After a few days of this, he finally said: "I am autistic, and can't keep up! You guys need to do some of my work for me!" and laughed.
I had no idea that X was autistic before this, but wasn't crazily surprised.
Still, I decided he made me uncomfortable, and if he could go to college, he could act at least semi mature and be able to do some work. I continued to treat him the same as before.
I told him he made uncomfortable, and I didn't want to interact with him beyond the project. I would help him with work up until he tried to get me to do it all, or insist on talking about guns/stories, at which point I would leave and tell him to ask one of the other members.
He would offer to buy me food (I never accepted, obviously), would apologize for "being a horrible person," and continue to not do work.
Probably the nicest I ever was to X was when I told him "He wasn't horrible, I just wasn't comfortable with him personally."
I've had autistic friends, coworkers, and more. My boyfriend's brother is autistic, and we hang out all the time. For some reason, though, I couldn't help but be so blunt to this kid.
Am I the asshole for treating X bluntly, and possibly rudely, even after finding out he was autistic? | HISTORICAL | {
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HvgiEOt5dLdAlDlsJzDlEbpRWmc0CqOM | b9lyi5 | {
"description": "not wanting to go over to my girlfriends place",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to go over to my girlfriends place? | My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly two years now, we barely fight and if so its just about some trivial things that we resolve quickly and together, however, today we had a discussion and she has said to me that it has made her upset and disappointed in me but I don't think it is warranted.
We both live at home with our parents, respectively seperate but still close by and such, we spend a lot of time at each others houses so there isn't any question about like me not seeing her enough. She asked me to come over today and stay the night because her Mum has left to go to Byron Bay for business and has left my girlfriend home alone at the house. (We are both 20 years old) I told her earlier in the week that I'd come over Saturday and Sunday to keep her company but not today because I had a rough day at work and just need some time alone.
Thought I'd throw in that I'm a person that feels like they would go crazy if they didn't have time to themselves. I need time to just do my own thing and feel like I don't have to entertain someone when I'm with them, hence my feeling on not wanting to go over today. (I haven't been home all week from spending time at her house, work and going out) I am desperately in need of just staying home alone today. She however is the opposite, she always feels the need to see me and be with someone.
Anyway, back to the story, she is disappointed in not coming over because she gets nervous staying home alone, and wants me to come over and make her feel safe. I completely understand that but respectfully and nicely told her why I didn't want to come over, and she just doesn't understand, no matter how many times I've told her in the past how I feel about this stuff. She continues to say "She wish her boyfriend would spend time with her, and come over". I always spend time with her, seeing her almost every day of the week somehow.
I told her she needs to get over this fear of being home alone and such, she is 20 years old and if she is going to move out and in with people or herself she is going to have to learn and overcome this fear and such, it isn't going to help in the future. She told me I was being an asshole.
So AITA for not wanting to come over when she feels scared staying alone at home when I just need to have alone time? | HISTORICAL | {
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"RIGHT": 5,
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GVRO1Y2zX666dQfsaCISOj0kalzvdcRU | apnmoh | {
"description": "asking my friend not to bring up anime in public",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for asking my friend not to bring up anime in public? | His particular victim in this case (a bartender of sorts) was receptive of conversation surrounding video games, but once my friend gets his claws in I'm not sure if he knows when to let go. The conversation turned to Japanese cartoons, and while his victim was still receptive, you could tell the victim's continued participation in the dialogue was more of a personal and professional courtesy than anything.
There were girls nearby. Hell, neither I nor my friend really even watch that much anime so I don't know why he felt he had to lay bare this particular aspect of our collective shame.
AITA for asking my friend not to do that shit? I am willing to admit this is chiefly a "me problem"; I am generally insecure, and in this instance I could barely stop myself from cringing to death. I'm also willing to admit I could have asked nicer. But there are rules for this kind of thing, are there not? Memes abound about "hiding your power level" in public. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 7
} | WRONG |
9hwIhXYnvtODkN5Qkv5YZSDpWSYW6PPr | a1b4z5 | {
"description": "not caring about other immigrants",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not caring about other immigrants? | I migrated here from another country, and let me tell you. The process SUCKED. that being said, we did it legally and now we're ripping the benefits since America is awesome. However, I have a lot of distant family or family friends that just came over and never left. They are on a ton of social programs or just straight dont pay taxes. This seems pretty shitty to me. Also, it should be said that even though we have it much better in America, there was plenty of opportunities to succeed in my old country. So, now that you have context, I have to ask if I'm the asshole for not caring about all this stuff on the news about the caravan or other people who are trying to come here but cant? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
VOgkcHohA4x9PyYHA76xWKtb1oCPDBWc | ah28bb | {
"description": "not answering the phone",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not answering the phone? | It’s thursday at 3. every thursday a 4th grader comes over and i teach him percussion lessons. my mother is fully aware of this. she calls during the lesson. i ignore it. i’m getting paid to teach the kid, i’m gonna teach him. i get three calls from her and one from grandma. my brother comes down and says “mom needs you to pick up.” i said no! not while i’m giving a lesson! the lesson end and i call her back.
mom, i was in a lesson!
i don’t care. it’s an emergency, i wouldn’t call you during a lesson unless it was an emergency.
what’s the emergency?
grandma is driving you to work tonight.
###EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! GRANDMA IS DRIVING ME TO WORK###
she gets all pissy and says next time, i better Sure As Hell pick up. i don’t plan on it.
am i the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
yVv5nxXP4O7hqLreKwQXSKql0Xey7Ems | adycnd | {
"description": "getting mad that I didn't get to name my puppies",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 8
} | AITA for getting mad that I didn't get to name my puppies? | My dog got pregnant back in October and gave birth in late November. Naturally, my family was over joyed because of it and we quickly agreed that I would get to name all 6 of them.
I said i'd name them when they got older and more easily distinguishable and everyone was cool with this.
About a day later my little brother comes back from my grandfather's and sees the puppies. He names one, on the spot, just like that. I'm a little disgruntled but after a bit of back and forth I let it go.
A week ago I find out my family had a "change of heart" about our previous agreement. They just start naming the pups without asking me if im ok with that. It also feels like they just came up with the names on the spot and put little effort into them.
What really bugs me the most is how im pretty much the only person in my family who takes care of our dogs (Feeding, walks, playing etc.) so I felt like it was something in kinda earned for that.
Am I the asshole here or am I just being entitled? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 8
} | WRONG |
ZGU4wYjwuVGCr64CIGlnpCrpidWIyb02 | an9x7x | {
"description": "wanting to speak to our neighbors about their music volume",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to speak to our neighbors about their music volume? | So, our next door neighbors in our apartment complex seem to have some kind of fancy sound system where the bass, the tune, and some lyrics can be heard very, very clearly through the walls of our apartment. It's been so loud at some points that it sounds like someone has the TV on in the living room even when no one else is home.
My roommates and I thought previously that the walls were just that thin, but we've noticed that not only do we not hear our other neighbors at all outside of the music, but no one has mentioned anything to us about our, erm, accidental volume increases when playing games after work (we do our best to be mindful). So, we're thinking....maybe the walls aren't that thin and the music from our neighbors' sound system is just that loud.
The wrinkle here is that they only seem to play music from about 9am to 7pm. The three of us all work second and third shifts, so we're all usually home to hear it. Makes it a little difficult to sleep in, especially for my roommates whose room is closer to the wall that the sound system seems to be placed against.
They aren't exactly playing it during hours where people would normally be sleeping, but it's consistent enough and loud enough that we occasionally wonder if anyone actually goes to work in that apartment. It's why I'm wondering - are we the assholes for preparing to get with them to ask them to tone it down?
We technically SHOULD be awake by 9, but considering our shifts all conveniently start around 3-4pm and end at 9 or 10, we do sleep in an extra hour or two. | HISTORICAL | {
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4iQNaRgPLUGSf2uX7oePYFWh6OoN5ocT | ar2kj6 | {
"description": "using a very harsh, strick tone when telling my daughter, my gf's boys (7 & 4) and my nieces (12 & 8 )not to do something",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for using a very harsh, strick tone when telling my daughter (12), my gf's boys (7 & 4) and my nieces (12 & 8 )not to do something. | Please be aware that I'm not asking if I'm the asshole for talking to my gf's kids like that. I don't want to be singled out for that. My gf says I'm an asshole for talking to kids like that in general. She never liked it when she saw me talking to my daughter or niece's like that and she obviously doesn't like it when I talk to her boys like that.
Now what brought this up. I'm a faithful believer that you should only tell kids once. If they are smart enough to figure out video games, when to lie or other no productive things then they should know how to behave. I tend to lead by example. No phones at dinner table, no interrupting people, no hitting people etc...
So when a kid does something he's not suppose to I immediately speak in a harsh strick tone of voice. My gf says I should talk to them nicely (them as in kids in general)
Am I the asshole for automatically going tough mode so I only have to say it once? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
4OwZyAlEZmsy2rq5WGTstFKd1MhXLZL3 | b9u1f5 | {
"description": "telling my friend that if she didn't vaccinate her (Hypothetical) kids, then they couldn't be around my (also hypothetical) kids",
"pronormative_score": 138,
"contranormative_score": 17
} | AITA For telling my friend that if she didn’t vaccinate her (Hypothetical) kids, then they couldn’t be around my (Also hypothetical) kids? | My best friend of 15 years hopped on the antivax movement a couple of years ago. Obviously this has caused a few arguments in the past, but for the most part we avoid the topic because she knows how much it bothers me.
So last week we got on the topic of kids and she said “Obviously I wouldn’t get them vaccinated” which even though I knew how she felt about it, really really upset me. So I responded with “I might not be able to change your mind, but if you don’t vaccinate your kids then they’re not allowed to play with mine.”
As soon as I said that she went off about how I would be irresponsible for getting them vaccinated and how it wouldn’t be fair to the kids to prevent them from playing with each other just because I didn’t agree with her. I told her that at that point they would pose a risk to my children and just because she was willing to risk her kids lives because of her stupid reckless opinion doesn’t mean I’m going to. It got really heated and obviously didn’t end well.
Ever since then, she’s been spamming me with phony articles supporting her views all citing no existent studies and spouting the same bs. I just ignored her and honestly didn’t feel like I did anything wrong until a few of our mutual friends messaged me saying “You guys don’t even have kids, just let it go.” And “Would you really isolate your kids just because you disagree with her” and “You’re would vaccinate your kids anyway, there would be no health risk to them.” Completely missing the point.
These friends messaging me all disagree with anti vaxxers, but are acting like I’m an awful person. AITA? Should I just drop? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 133,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 138,
"WRONG": 17
} | RIGHT |
kYt39MZsNbQomSB7ZpqiTigdDa62lWlI | 9y3cyy | {
"description": "ghosting my old friend group",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA [21M] for ghosting my old friend group [20ish] | So, long story.
It was my old Dungeons and Dragons group. My friend, lets call him Austin ran a group on Fridays initially for a group of 8. (Let's call them, Alex, Chris, Cody, Aj, Troy, Ellie, Josh and me as players.) I ran a dnd group on Sundays for Chris, Cody, Troy and Ellie.
Things seemed to be going great. Then Austin and Alex got into a disagreement and Austin turned the entire group against him. (It was specifically because Alex had an interview for a job that Austin didn't approve of. Flight Attendant for the curious.)
Austin was autistic (aspergers) and had anger issues though and those became more apparent after Alex left. Seems Alex was somewhat keeping him in check. Well after that, Austin started taking his replica swords (that were sharpened) and putting them to peoples throats when they pissed him off.
Cody lied about getting a factory job so that he wouldn't have to come anymore.
Aj was targeted next. Minor bullying, insulting his in game ideas, trash talking his character concepts, denying him the ability to do mundane stuff in game but allow others to do amazing things without rolling. Not to mention the sword. While also talking behind his back constantly.
Aj left the group.
Next up was Troy for the chopping block. He was targeted for months but ended up using his family as a means to get out of it. He went through all of the same stuff as Aj.
At that point it was just me, Chris, Ellie and Josh left. I was the next target. The sword was finally put to my throat. And Austin kept purposely trying to give me panic and anxiety attacks during the game as proof that he was doing a good job at telling an intense story.
I was very suicidal.
I told the group that I needed to get away from the game for the foreseeable future otherwise I would probably end up killing myself. (Exact words was, "Hey guys. I'm sorry to have to do this. I'm in a very bad mental state right now, and dnd is honestly just making it worse. I need to take sometime for myself for the foreseeable future to work things out, otherwise I honestly think I may kill myself. I'm really sorry about that. I hope to be back soon!") It was right after a bad break up with my fiance, so it all was adding up too quickly.
So I... Never heard from them again. Except for Ellie.
Christmas 2017 comes around and Ellie contacts me. Apparently Austin showed up to my house to give me a Christmas gift? I got a job a couple of months later and started working full time. But the day he claimed to was before I started working. I was a shut in who hadn't left the house in about 2 months and was terrified of stepping outside and seeing him. So I know he never showed up. But she was upset with me for blowing him off. I mean I guess I could have missed him. She asked if I would contact him. Said I would. Then my work schedule changed and I was working a lot more and forgot about it.
Skipping ahead to May. I hear from Ellie again. Everyones doing good. She's still the only one that put in any effort to contact me.
I got back in touch with Alex, Troy, Cody and Aj and we all realized that we went through the same situations in the same order like it was systematic. Had a good laugh and have been helping each other work past it.
I heard from Ellie a couple of weeks ago. She asked the reason why I left the group and "hurt Austin so badly". Told me that she was tempted to come to my house and assault me for hurting him as well? I explained. She told me that apparently the group was SO hurt by me leaving. But yet none of them ever tried to contact me. So it was my fault.
My number never changed. I had half of them on facebook and the other half on other social medias. They had numerous ways to contact me. But I was trying to avoid contacting them first because I didn't want to go back to that situation. However if any of them had of messaged me, I would have responded just like I did with Ellie. (Also as far as the contact thing goes; I'm one of those people that I don't initiate conversations often. I initiated so many conversations with that friend group that you could count it on both hands over a two year period. So it's not like it was anything strange with me not texting anyone.)
Anyways. It's mostly just Ellie's last contact that had me wondering about this entire situation. | HISTORICAL | {
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p0KLWcWkCiyplD3aCbKXnVIf7oFIwoxn | aawych | {
"description": "not letting a wheelchair bound person ahead of me in a busy hall",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting a wheelchair bound person ahead of me in a busy hall? | A while ago I was at a convention. There's a long, narrow hallway/bridge at the top floor that connects the two buildings the convention takes place in. The hall is split like a road, 4 meters on each side going opposite directions. Foot traffic in these halls is *slow*; it is everywhere in the convention center. You can't really push through people, it's packed. You can expect to take at least 10 minutes to get from one building to the next.
While I and a group of friends were walking down the hall, we hear a woman saying "Excuse me" behind us, until we see her roll up in her electric wheelchair. She keeps pushing through the crowd to get to the end of the hall, albeit not running people over and at least giving them an audible cue. We get out of her way, and she continues plowing through, with a smile on her face, so I see no reason to believe this was an emergency.
I was kind of puzzled. I mentioned to my friend, "Why is she cutting through like that, no one else does?" My friend looked at me as if I just insulted her, and said something about her needing to get to the elevator at the end of the hall. There's elevators at both ends, not just the one she was headed towards, i.e. she had already passed one, she wanted to get into the other building (like the rest of us), it wasn't like she just needed to get downstairs.
So now I'm left with a moral dilemma. I can't see any reason she would feel like she can push past other people, other than having a wheelchair. There are other people at the same convention who also use wheelchairs, and I've never dealt with one cutting through crowds.
Am I the asshole for thinking she shouldn't get special treatment in a situation like that just because she's disabled? I feel like maybe, but I'm missing something. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
ErRJLwGIp7ViS4ioQi2keBURZJJkMrpE | b2zoy6 | {
"description": "barring my mother in law from my husbands funeral",
"pronormative_score": 114,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for barring my mother in law from my husbands funeral? | My husband passed away 10 years ago at 27 from a motor vehicle accident.
At the time of his death, he had not spoken to his mother or step father in 4 years. By his account, he never intended to speak with them again and didn’t want our children around them, communicating with them, receiving gifts or cards, nothing. He had a whole story made up that he planned on telling the kids when they asked about his parents, about how sometimes there are bad people etc. They were abusive to him growing up (not to mention raging bigots), there was always tension between them. At the time I met him, he wasn’t close to his parents at all, barely spoke, saw them once a year if that, but no drama as neither side invested that much effort in the relationship.
The final falling out had a lot to do with me. His mother was very overbearing and disrespectful to me while I was pregnant with our first child. My husband tried to put a handle on it, her reaction to him trying to establish boundaries is what killed the relationship. His mother refused to acknowledge or modify her behavior, to the point that she seemed psychotic. His step father joined in my spewing hateful words to my husband. He cut them off and we never looked back. The decision to end all communication was his and he took it seriously, he sent a cease and desist to her at one point when she kept sending packages to our house.
After the accident, his mother reached out to me trying to basically plan the funeral. I told her that she would neither have a hand in planning the funeral or be in attendance. I told them they could have their own service if they felt so inclined, but they wouldn’t be at the one I was having for him. My brother told them both that they would be removed if they were to show up. She tried demanding some of his remains which I refused.
Our babies were only 3 and 1 at the time of his death. My decision about his parents attending was based on the fact that he himself said they were dead to him, and he never wanted them to be around his own children. My babies were at their fathers funeral, I didn’t want two strangers to all of us there.
My now 13 year old daughter asks a lot of questions about her dad, naturally. She just recently learned that she has another grandmother who she hasn’t met, she had a lot of questions. The subject of his funeral came up last night. She learned that I did not allow her dads mother to attend last night. She is very angry with me and told me I should have put my own feelings aside. I tried explaining that I did it to honor her dad. She slammed her bedroom door, yelled some things at the door, I heard the words immature and petty several times.
At the time, I was certain I made the right call. Now, 10 years later, I can see why my daughter feels that way. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 81,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 33,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 114,
"WRONG": 9
} | RIGHT |
OYTsZTHRZY3IYKUpZTf246eLNURyq4hN | 9u44ig | {
"description": "having an affair and not feeling bad about it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA For having an affair and not feeling bad about it? | I'm currently living in a relationship with my partner and our two small kids. In my life I've felt pretty shit for long periods of time but atm I'm doing great. I absolutely love my kids and spend all my time with them. The one problem is that me and my partner have become just best friends that have kids together, anything resembling attraction has been gone for a long time for whatever reason. Even getting the second one was tough because yeah, it's tough going through the motions when there's really nothing there.
So my partner travels a lot for work, leaving me quite a lot of time alone with just the kids which suits me perfectly anyways. For the last couple of months we've been spending a lot of our time with another kid that lives nearby and their parent (we can call them E) who is in pretty much the same situation as myself except further progressed along the same path. E's partner is also gone a lot but when they're together they fight a lot and they're really never even friendly to each other.
Me and E have bonded a great deal for some time, our kids are best friends and we know each others situations perfectly. Neither of us really has anyone else to turn to about this as none of our friends know how bad our relationships have gotten, the facades are still in place for both of them.
Last week E suggested that we should get together for a night out without the kids which I happily agreed to. Sounded really fun in its own right, but also my partner were actually going to be out of town with the kids for the suggested weekend so I had a pretty good idea what might happen. I spent time thinking about what if we ended up the night together, and concluded that I would be fine with it. From my perspective it would give me some kind of boost to carry on with my life, as I wrote first I'm at a better place in my life than I've ever been and I don't want to change anything right now. Sex is not really that important to me but E is incredibly attractive and a complete lack of it has also driven me a little crazy I guess.
Flash forward and ofc we ended up really drunk and finished the night at my place having awesome sex for hours because both of us had needed that for a looong time.
I woke up the next day feeling fine about it all, while E unfortunately are having some serious regrets. Turns out they had not expected this outcome after all. Also their partner was not away while this night happened and they've had to tell quite substantial lies to cover it up. Me on the other hand only has to not say anything which is quite a lot easier ofc.
So. AITA and if so against whom? Against my partner because I was completely unfaithful and that's always an asshole move? Or, against E because I pretty much knew that this would happen and went along without stoping anything?
I didn't feel like an asshole at first, but E's reaction has got me rethinking the whole deal. If anyone should be having regrets it should be me because I actually really really like my partner, they will always be my best friend whatever happens with everything else. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
cNvWRZ6p48pJAgCkQzjm7yIQM6x7psQM | 9vzu08 | {
"description": "not wanting to be in a call with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to be in a call with my friend. | I play League a lot with my friends, so typically I'm in a discord call with them when we play. I get very hyped when I make a play and whatnot. Because of this, my friend tells me to not scream and be a degenerate, I tell him sorry and I'll try not to. I do it again out of habit and he leaves the server and makes a new one to invite everyone to. Some people leave and I'm left with 2 of my friends and me. After the game he comes back into the server and tells me if I stop screaming when I make a play he will let me play with him. I tell him that I don't want to fucking play with him and leave. He personally calls me and starts slinging insults at me, telling me how his ears ring because of me. I tell him I'm sorry and I don't want to be in a call with him if we ever play again, reasoning being that I don't have the self control not to yell, and also because I don't like it when he berates me. He tells me that I'm a fake ass friend for not having the self control or caring for his well being.
TLDR: Play LoL with friend, get hyped and scream. Friend gets mad at me and tells me I'm a bad friend. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
CFhccZRzNU9iRxyy7DyV9sBRNLEwRa3E | ajl3io | {
"description": "getting frustrated at my new age-y friend for constantly talking about her beliefs",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting frustrated at my new age-y friend for constantly talking about her beliefs? | I’m a super pragmatic person, I’m an atheist that believes solely in science and what has been proven. I have nothing against religious or spiritual people and completely respect their views and beliefs.
My best friend is the typical Los Angeles new age girl, crystals, tarot, reiki, faeries, astrology, etc. She knows I don’t believe in any of these things and still she talks about them with me ALL THE TIME. I basically sit there trying to take her seriously, while she goes off about spirituality talking about it all like it’s all real and based on facts. It’s incredibly uncomfortable for me and I’ve politely told her multiple times to try to talk about these things with her other friends because all that goes through my mind when she brings it up is how it’s all fairytales. But I never say that, and still listen and try to be supportive. I think it’s a little disrespectful to constantly talk about her beliefs with someone that doesn’t believe in it.
Earlier today, she asks me if I want her to read my tarot, then later we were walking our dogs and she points to the sky and says: I wonder which one is my star (she says she’s a pleidian starseed), and babbles on about that for a while, then she was telling me how aliens introduced reiki to someone in Japan and how people believe acupuncture and all these things were taught by aliens. And I lost it, I usually just smile uncomfortably, but I started laughing out loud uncontrollably. She took it really poorly. I told her that if a Christian person was constantly preaching to her about God it would probably be uncomfortable and she said it wasn’t the same situation and acted offended. She went on saying that I’m a bad friend, and I have the need to feel right all the time, and I just have a superiority complex, and continued with personal observations about who I am. I starting feeling really bad and emotional so I just walked out. She won’t talk to me, and I know it was rude of me to laugh at her beliefs and feel really bad about it, but AITA here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
6xoD3j3iaO5JyLjNNvh3fpd57wKwxSds | ak13fx | {
"description": "getting mad at my parents because they didn't tell me my grandma died",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for getting mad at my parents because they didn’t tell me my grandma died | So backstory: My grandma raised me for the first 10 years of my life because my parents were having financial struggles and I was very close to her
So back to now, recently I started college and for that I had to move to another state. When I came back for Christmas for some time they told me my grandma had died months ago and they didn’t tell me so that my studies won’t be affected. After I heard the news I got very angry and we argued and I booked my flight for the next day. However now all my relatives are telling me that I’m an asshole for being so rude to my parents and what they did was the best for me. Am I the asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
rUl1N6E81YIurljXzwIUCLkthmACYzjX | b9yhx8 | {
"description": "being annoyed with my mum",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being annoyed with my mum? | This incident happened a week ago.
I had decided to go to a whole bunch of thrift stores and look for video games. I left early in the morning around 10 and got back at 1.
I was completely shattered lugging around the bag of video games, and being on my feet for hours.
So I was happy to get home and veg on the couch.
That was until my sister (14 years old) complaints to Mum that she doesn't have a birthday present for a friend. She then asks if she can can go to the shops and get her friend a gift.
Mum agrees but says that she can only go if I take her, I said I would rather not as I've just got back from a long trip and I just want to watch TV.
mum and my sister glare at me, and Mum demands that I take her.
I concede and we bus into the shops.
I was super annoyed and told mum that it was unfair that I was being made to do this.
She then said that I'm a big sister and I need to do big sister things.
I'm still slightly annoyed.
AITA for being annoyed? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
l6YhtnMJJ9QccgfhamBkeLO8TafqO7Vz | ag2c15 | {
"description": "making a joke that made my husband feel stupid",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
} | AITA for making a joke that made my husband feel stupid? | Hey Reddit,
Throwaway obviously.
So the other day, my husband and I got into an “argument” over something that I think was stupid. We’d recently been out to lunch with a couple that we’re very close friends with and were talking about recycling and how you don’t know what’s recyclable these days.
I then joked and said, “haha yeah, hubby over here leaves random things out for recycling that aren’t recyclable.” He acted sort of stiff and offended and said, “no I don’t”, so I laughed and said, “Oh it’s happened a couple of times” (while sort of wiggling my eyebrows).
Anyway, he said he didn’t again in a more tense and pointed tone which made things a bit awkward, so our friend stepped in and made a joke so we could move on. Later that night, I said to him that I didn’t really appreciate his response, that he does sometimes leave things out, and I was embarrassed that our friend stepped in. He apologised sincerely and said he’d been thinking about it.
I thought we were cool but then he said that he didn’t like how I made him look stupid when I said he left the wrong things out. Reddit, this is literally where I’m stumped. I honestly don’t see how my joke made him look stupid. He’s a very smart dude, and it’s a mistake we all make (hence why we were joking about it). I love him and had no intention of hurting him or making him seem stupid with my comment.
I told him I honestly didn’t mean to offend him and didn’t understand what I’d done, and he started getting really upset, then I got upset for upsetting him. In the end, we communicated clearly and apologised to each other and hugged, but I need to know AITA for teasing him in the first place?
I have BPD (borderline personality disorder) but I’ve done DBT, have a psychiatrist and psychotherapist I check in with regularly, take my medication and practice mindfulness. HOWEVER, I also recognise my normal meter could be completely broken and this is something that could totally have skewed my perceptions of what is hurtful, so I think it’s worth mentioning.
If it turns out, I’m NTA I would never use it against him. I just want to know if he’s particularly sensitive or if I need to modify my behaviour overall. If AITA, then I think I’ll need to take a good, hard look at myself.
TL;DR: I made a joke that made my husband feel stupid. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
} | RIGHT |
ciXv43HMJSlRH6LLPRcCSMgTHonwQgMK | akkdfa | {
"description": "being kind of happy that my job is on a firing-spree and I'm watching people who I don't like lose their job",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for being kind of happy that my job is on a firing-spree and I’m watching people who I don’t like lose their job? | Obviously, the place isn’t a huge catastrophe where they fire valuable employees. They started to fire the people who never listen, always cause workplace stress, can’t do their job right, etc. I don’t like these people and they effect my workplace as well as all the other people there. Would I be an asshole for being happy that they’re gone? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
ktLknzpvw9xfNlQYqVBWXlqEOiSsRHht | a1km83 | {
"description": "getting annoyed at a co-worker who is always sick",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting annoyed at a co-worker who is always sick? | I work in a place where if one staff member calls in sick, there is rarely a replacement. Also, one man down means that other staff have to take on their workload too.
In this case, this person calling in 'sick' refers to mental health issues. One part of me is thinking I should be tolerant and empathetic of the person, as they are suffering, but another part of me thinks it is not fair the rest of us should bear the workload.
What complicates the situation is that our workplace is a mental health service, so there is an implied feeling of remaining tolerant and empathetic. Furthermore, the person has been posting partying pictures on Facebook during "sick days".
I have not discussed this with anyone at work, but I am just hoping for another perspective. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
84hWMk1xgiAgJLjRiy0UptlKh7TOHUCm | aq4apv | {
"description": "talking to this homophobe on the bus and acting like I agreed with him to be civil and stayed in contact with him",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA when I talked to this homophobe on the bus and acted like I agreed with him to be civil and stayed in contact with him. | It happened a while ago but I was waiting for the bus, we started talking. We got on the same bus and after a while the topic drifted to being about gay rights and all of that. He started talking about how disgusting it is and how that one baker should be allowed to not bake gay cakes (it was still in the news at the time). I am homosexual but I hate being confrontational or making a conversation an argument, as a result. I did my usual thing where I act like I agree with you and repeat what you say. We talked about it till I got to my stop but he gave me the information on his church and since we both believe in conservative judaism, I started going to his church. It was also when I barely moved from my hometown so I needed a new one anyway. We've stayed in contact and it's been a while now. We don't talk about homosexuality or anything like that. Nonetheless, we are very alike in other subjects so I enjoy talking to him once in a while.
I am currently in a relationship and I mentioned him (we go to the same church) and what he said. He didn't say I was a bad or anything but he did say that I shouldn't have said what I said. I personally think it was okay and I would have done a bad thing if I made it an argument instead.
tl;dr, I am acquainted with someone even though they have said homophobic remarks. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YMn9sCVXhEAkbkSvmrs2mUVXvGK06LP8 | b5zmhq | {
"description": "not wanting to be friends with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to be friends with my ex? | My ex and I (both 20f) only dated for about two months. When we first met, I knew she was ace but was willing to look past that/compromise because I thought I really liked her.
Our relationship started off really well and it seemed like we were inseparable as we tried to spend as much time as possible together.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. After hanging out all day, we come up on the topic of being gay and childhood. Then she admitted to me that she’s never actually had a crush on anyone and how she considered being in a “queer platonic” relationship.
This made me really upset/shocked (she told me before she liked girls + guys and she’s the one who asked me to be her girlfriend) and I basically told her I didn’t believe in such a relationship and asked if she was really attracted to me, to which she very quickly answered yes and then the conversation ended.
After this it seemed like she was avoiding me. We both work a full time internship but I kept trying to make time for us and she kept pushing me away (even though she had PLENTY of time to spend with her guy friend who she spent almost everyday with).
I confronted her about it and she pretty much told me that she was aromantic and knew about she might be before we started dating but tried to push herself to be in a relationship. We decided to end it mutually but she said she would love to still be friends because our breakup doesn’t really change anything for her.
I’m at the point where I’m pissed at her and I don’t want to see her again because 1) I feel like our whole relationship was a lie. 2) This was the first relationship I have ever been in and I feel like I’ve been cheated out of it. 3) It upsets me that I’m the only hurt by our breakup. 4) We met on a dating app so intention of DATING was pretty clear.
So basically I have to ask: AITA for not wanting to stay friends or should I just accept her for who she is and try to shake it off?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
rmjH1z8tLYVwAi3hUtV4aLpXbqJvqlen | a2l8la | {
"description": "not trying to get my friends life together",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not trying to get my friends life together? | I’ve known my friend for years, since 6th grade (I’m a senior now). He’s always been kind of a dick, but we always respected each other and hung out quite a bit. We’ve butter heads a few times but it’s usually worked itself out.
Lately though, his life has been going downhill. In Sophomore year his girlfriend of 2 years broke up with him and accused him of sexual assault. (He’s never told the full story on it, but I’ve heard from her friends that she exaggerated) He lost a good amount of friends, and out groups never recovered to what it was. He got hella depressed and left school for a few months. He called me one day, saying that he knows he hasn’t always been a good friend, and that he’s sorry and he’s really glad I’m friends with him.I think he tried to kill himself that night.
When he came back, his now ex-girlfriend tried to get him removed from the school, using everything she could to get him removed. It didn’t work, and she got a restraining order instead. Junior year he came to school less and less, and eventually he stopped coming for months at a time. Every once in a while, our group went over to his house and said how we cared about him and he had to go to school, and he would go (for a month or two) and go back to doing his shit.
He says he has chronic pain, and that it’s sometimes unbearable, but we don’t really believe him. He usually stays at home and gets high (basically 24/7 since his parents took away all his technology to try and punish him) and sneaks out whenever he wants to if he has a booty call (sometimes 3 am).
He failed most of his classes Junior year, but he was still on track to graduate(he’s a smart guy and was ahead in most subjects) but this year he’s still not going to class, saying he’s sick. Yet he’s not sick enough to go drink and smoke and party with some other guys. He’s become increasingly hostile to our group, especially those who call him out on his shit.
He’s also a borderline sociopath, and has shown us multiple time that he hardly cares about us and only hangs out with girls to fuck them. He even told a friend (who’s sister was dying in the hospital) that she should hotbox her breathing tube. Once she died, and she caning crying to him, he made a joke and didn’t talk to her about it.
After taking a step back and looking at what kind of friend he’s been, I honestly don’t care what happens to him anymore. We’ve done all we can at this point, and I don’t think he’s a good friend. Am I the asshole if I let himself ruin his life?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
Og6ksfEySTkaBZFMze8hxocHaXQqZStw | 9wvcqe | {
"description": "humiliating my coworker and getting him fired",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For humiliating my coworker and getting him fired? | So, first of all let me just get it out of the way thaty coworker (in my eyes at least) is a total piece of shit. He's smug and annoying, kinda slimy, and constantly tries to one-up everybody else in a very irritating and condesending kind of way. He also flirts with another girl who works here, even though he already has a girlfriend. Nobody in the office really likes him, and me and him have a bit of a rivalry going on for quite some time. Anyway, I could deal with all his bullshit, but last week he really crossed a line. See, I work in the media, and my company recently had something of a contest going on. Now, I wasn't really bothered by this, the job is just how I pay the bills, know what I mean, and I'm generally not a very competitive person, so I was happy to just ignore the competition. My coworker, however, was the opposite. He was *all over* it. Working all day and night, boasting to everyone about how he was going to win, etc. Weirdly, he kept trying to put me down while he did so. He was starting to really piss me off. I'd also been going through some difficulties (personal stuff) and just really wasn't in the mood for his crap. This all came to a head when my coworker entered his submition to the contest and won. It was MY work. He'd taken it, made some *slight* edits, and called it his work. I was livid. I decided to do something about it (my boss was/is kind of a dick and doesn't really give a fuck, so I couldn't really go to him). I gathered proof, and made a little folder with my original work and the edits pointed out, and went to confront him. Everyone was congratulating him on winning the competition and I just kinda strolled up to him and started probing him. He acted all smug, as usual, and as though he didn't even care that he'd screwed me over. I'm ashamed to say I lost my temper. I pushed him, insulted him, and made him beg me not to tell. I handed the folder in, and (suprisingly) my boss took it seriously. He got fired. Now that I've calmed down a bit I do feel a little guilty. I was nasty in a way that's not like me, and the guy now doesn't have a job. Also, I'm pretty sure his girlfriend broke up with him to. So, reddit, AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
XhztpfRdijrNUATHdbRbCrtD9f4aUZe6 | b7g93b | {
"description": "telling you \"I am talking behind your back\"",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA : When I tell you “I am talking behind your back” | Obligatory I’m sorry I’m on mobile so formatting might be off. Also I’m doing voice to text so just all kinds of fucked up.
So I’m known by my group for having a...bad temper. Often times when my friends piss me off which is quite often. There’s a core group of five of us and at least one person in the whole group pisses me off every time we hang out. I usually turn to one of my other friends in the group the next day and tell him everything that pissed me off that the night of so that way they can either talk me out of being annoyed or tell me how to handle it with the person themselves.I will then turn to the person I was talking about and tell them “hey I was talking to Kathy about this earlier and I thought that you should know that I have a problem with whatever you did that bothered me last night.”
I try to keep everything candid just so I can keep a level of honesty with all of my friends. Well it turns out that one of my friends had a problem with this and she said that I put her on blast but I told her she’s always known that I do this because I’ve done it with her being my vent person/filter. Anyway now everybody in the group is mad because I keep A level of candidness that none of them do and they all talk behind each others back’s without telling anybody that they had a conversation with somebody. I don’t know if doing this will make me lose all my friends or make me closer with them and I also don’t know if I’m being an asshole. Help!
TLDR: My friends are mad at me because I tell them the truth about the conversations I have behind their back am I wrong? | HISTORICAL | {
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} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
} | WRONG |
yxFobX0JOhTBjJC5qJd3OIFkU5Fvk2SB | ba4cxx | {
"description": "making my coworker do his share of inventory even though he has a broken foot",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA for making my coworker do his share of inventory even though he has a broken foot? | The way my company works is coworkers opt in for a shift and then work that shift. If you opt in for an open, you have opening duties. Part of our opening duties require us to scan inventory in daily around our location, and that requires a bit of crouching and walking around. Certainly not the easiest thing to do with a broken foot.
My coworker recently broke his foot and has been slowly using that as an excuse to not do his duties. The issue I have is that he's choosing to work open shifts, and there are other shifts scattered throughout the day he could switch other coworkers with.
I feel like if you're going to volunteer yourself for an open shift that you chose, that you should be required to do open duties. If you're unfit to do the duties, then don't select an open shift.
WIBTA if I told him he needs to do inventory? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
iUxBAVNqmN6GBtAzuKo4REuunco2QEfw | ar0tfl | {
"description": "not wanting my gf to have a say in the hiring of my new assistant",
"pronormative_score": 85,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA For Not Wanting My GF to Have a say in the Hiring of my new Assistant? | I'm M28, she's F25 and we've been together for 2 years now. I just got a new job as a VP of sales for a start up and they're giving me a budget and letting me hire a secretary/assistant. I told my GF this and she's like we have to have a serious talk about this and basically told me it can't be a girl. I was shocked and just said I'm gonna hire the best person for the job. I got HR to post the job online about 2.5 weeks ago and asked them to forward me qualified people and I'd narrow that down to interviews which I started this past Monday. The problem is, well not really a problem is that mostly all women applied for this position and they were more than qualified and i'm not going to discriminate based on sex that messed up to me. I had like 4 interviews this week (all young women early to mid 20's) and I really liked one as she has a degree, experience and wants to move up in the company. Also said she'd be more than willing to do personal tasks for me such as order food, get my dry cleaning ETC and this was very important to me as I will be swamped working this job. I called her yesterday and told her the job was hers and gave her the top salary range as she has a degree and experience. She starts on Tuesday and she was very happy and insisted on starting today (fri) but I said nah take the long weekend and enjoy it! Monday is a holiday here anyways.
I told my GF about her this morning and she said no you're not going to hire her I told you a guy only or an old lady. I got mad and told her not to tell me how to do my job and that I'm hiring her because she's qualified and I don't even care/noticed if she was good looking. She got super pissed and left calling me a douche and a creep for wanting a young assistant.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 85,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 85,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
APdSRxDKZkz1UQNJkrsZ6fJYx8OLHP2m | awrgwk | {
"description": "inviting myself to my sister's house",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for inviting myself to my sister's house? |
My sister and I aren't terribly close and live on different coasts. We get along fine and she has three children that my husband and I adore. Since we don't have children we're happy to be the ones that travel to visit. In the last 15 years she's visited 3 times (my wedding, our mother's death, our father's stroke). Except for the wedding weekend we've hosted them in our home. I've visited her over 30 times (again, no problems there - a good portion of those trips have been combined with business trips, too). Their house is smaller so I always get a hotel nearby to not inconvenience her. We usually spend our visits at her house playing with the kids and sometimes cooking together.
I now live overseas and was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. I'm in great health right now, however, and wanted to spend time with her and the family while I'm active since, while I'm sure she'll visit me in hospice, neither of us would want the kids to see that. It would almost certainly be the last time for us all to be together
After my sister approved the dates, my husband and I booked our hotel and a flight literally across the world for a weekend visit. Once I sent her the confirmation she proposed that we actually take an adults only trip the night we're in town. I told her that my main goal was really to see the kids and be together as a family. Two days before our scheduled arrival she emailed to say her house was too messy for us to visit there.
Just a note, I'm pretty healthy but I'm on a very restricted diet so I can't eat out and don't drink. I get tired quickly and need to be a place where I can sit down. We had booked a hotel suite with a small kitchen but it wasn't large enough for the family. I was pretty heartbroken to think we were flying all that way just to sit in some crappy hotel room where I either wouldn't get to see the kids or they'd be miserable.
In an (admittedly passive aggressive) escalation of emails I pushed for her to let us come visit in her house where we could see the kids and there was seating for everyone, swearing up and down that I don't care about any mess (I don't) and trying to figure out if there was any other reason she didn't want me over (she insisted there wasn't).
Eventually I guess her husband cleaned the house and we had a really pleasant weekend coloring and playing board games with the kids in the afternoons and making some really nice memories.
Still, my relationship with my sister has been strained since and I realize I was technically in the wrong for inviting myself to her home. I've apologized profusely but still, given that it's been prior precedent, I make 98% of the effort for visiting, and... well... I have a terminal diagnosis, am I really the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
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"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
ZwV0RET1IYMArtZiuBGVx3EqG2fFmkiV | ady43v | {
"description": "asking my brother and his pregnant gf to move out of the house I rent to them",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for asking my brother and his pregnant gf to move out of the house I rent to them? | I\[25F\] currently rent out a 3 bedroom house to my little brother\[20M\] who has a 2 year old and is expecting another baby in April. A few weeks ago he told me about some water damage and when I came over to look, I discovered that we are going to have to completely redo the floors and possibly put in new windows. When I moved out of the house and let him move in, there was some less than perfect carpet. When I went in to check on the water damage, the carpet was seriously awful. They have 2 dogs which they claim are potty trained, but based on the stains, puppy pads and smell...I'm gonna say that they aren't.
​
First of all, I don't want to redo the floors with a pregnant girl in the house, and my niece running around. I worry about fumes and nails and stuff like that. So my original intention was to ask them if they could stay with his dad or someone while I get it all fixed.
​
Then I had a thought. I don't want to spend a bunch of money on NEW floor, just for them to move back in and ruin it. It's also not just the house, they ripped up my flower beds, they have junk piled outside in the carport, they painted TWO rooms without asking me...
​
Now I know they don't want to stay there forever. They don't even want to buy it from me, but y'all I am ready to sell this house (or at least charge more to rent it...like double) and I have a lot to do to it before it will be ready for that. This is almost the perfect opportunity to be able to do that.
​
My mom, however, thinks it's rude of me to ask them to move out. She says that she's afraid that they won't have anywhere to go (despite the fact that his dad literally does anything he asks) and that they can't afford that right now. Bear in mind that my brother works for his dad, gets paid under the table REALLY well, and just bought a couple thousand dollar engagement ring for his gf. They easily qualify for government housing and would even be paying LESS than what they pay to rent from me now. I want them out (in the nicest way possible), and I'm willing to help them find somewhere or give them money.
​
Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 33,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
Jn6CY4krXBKvCErsGc0skv3AzJVPQN9U | b4uske | {
"description": "wanting to break up with my girlfriend because she's jealous, making problems of the smallest things and stuffing like that",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA because I wanna break up with my girlfriend because she's jealous, makes problems of the smallest things and stuff like that? | So basically, title says it all. I'm in a 10 day relationship and girl with whom I am in it (gosh this can't be right by grammar can it?) is a drama queen. She is jealous of my best friend, she is kinda afraid of everything, she's soft. I don't mind that, but man, I haven't been in this much of a cramp in a much longer relationships. I haven't even fought that much. Arguments and discussions I have with her are serious.
She told me I didn't care enough on third day of our relationship. I explained that I care about her, by coming to her doorstep. She told me that I don't give all myself into this relationship. How can I?
Every second day a new discussion occurs. And it's been a really stressful relationship.
But, here's the deal. She is way to sensitive that Im truly afraid of what happens to her or me if we break up. So I'm a bit afraid to do that. From time to time it's alright but this is way pass my nerve endurance.
So tell me, ATIA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
KgWdkRE7UZ0nxLqg3vO9R9JABNhBS1dx | a7vhvl | {
"description": "telling my gf she cant have sex with someone from kik",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for telling my gf she cant have sex with someone from kik? | My girlfriend and I have been together for five years. She and I have an open relationship and have from the beginning. Recently, due to medication changes and mental issues, I've been unable to give her the sexual satisfaction she needs. So she asked me if she could find that from someone random in a one-night-stand scenario (with stipulations of course). I said yes.
Well, we were talking about it this evening and, as it turns out, the guy she's planning on fucking (Sunday, I may add) has a wife. Who's unaware of the whole thing. I told my GF that's where I draw the line. That I want her to find another partner. She said no. With arguments such as "it's easy this way", "I'll leave a note for her so she knows", "I'll do it once and block him after", and "if it's not me, it'll be someone else."
I'm pissed. I'm beyond pissed. Am I the asshole for insisting she find someone else? Or is everyone an asshole here? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
mbXeE51vjpdtKetlqr5S41Fu4FFgpguY | anpwru | {
"description": "not wanting my my friends friends to come on a lads holiday",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting my my friends friends to come on a lads holiday? | Me and my mates are all 18 and the six of us have booked a week long trip to Zante to celebrate the end of exams. One of the group has confused things by asking two of his mates to tag along. We’ve met them both a few times but feel that we don’t pay to pay over 1000 pounds on a holiday with two people we hardly know. One of my long term friends is threatening to drop out completely as he knows neither of the new people. Are we assholes for refusing to let them come or are we entitled to invite only people we know well? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
T3iOF0OvLFg3VIN5o8iKzLJ2zn8G4iqy | 9to4ha | {
"description": "not \"letting\" my husband have his dream job at 25 years old",
"pronormative_score": 47,
"contranormative_score": 2
} | AITA for not "letting" my husband have his dream job at 25 years old? | We have a new baby and are flat broke. Private student loans are going into repayment. $1,100 per month minimum. A few months ago he quit his job (insurance benefits and everything - with a baby at home) to look for something more "fulfilling". And yes, I was pissed. But pissed doesn't fix the problem or pay bills.
I am going back to work full time but he wants to use his degree and become a youth pastor again. Wonderful for him but he wants me to wait to find permanent work until he knows where that job is gonna be.
Today I was offered a great teaching job with childcare benefits that would require us to move 45 minutes to a bigger city and about 5 miles from all my family (huge plus support-wise). His mom doesn't want me to take it because he wants a pastor job.
AITA for telling him to suck it up and work somewhere else because we have a baby and bills and we need to make some money ASAP? If he finds a church job where I was offered a position that's wonderful! But it might not happen RIGHT NOW. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 47,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 47,
"WRONG": 2
} | RIGHT |
UTvmzRrr1mnxxeZAP0mUOrSPFhdTN70o | b6sdjd | {
"description": "not supporting my ex getting mental health help",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not supporting my ex getting mental health help? | My ex and I had been together 14 months at this point when I decided I'd had enough and wanted out. He had been emotionally manipulating/controlling me for around 7 months which was turning me against my own family, my friends and acquaintances alike. It was basic stuff to begin with like playing my emotions and belittling me, eventually escalating to him basically keeping me confined to my room.
Most of my stresses started over the summer as it came out that I suffer from pretty extreme anxiety and had up until that point been majorly unaware of it. I'd had a stable life up until last summer when I was preparing to move to university 200 miles away from home. This was a huge deal to me and my ex was acting really off about it which stressed me out a lot.
After I moved into my flat and started the term, he initially didn't give two shits until my best mate at the time forced me into doing some pretty fucked up stuff that I didn't want to do (using threats). After I told my bf, he got mad at me over it and come the start of this term, started to get mad at me for talking to certain people and was constantly monitoring my actions via social media, demanding my location.etc. This in turn led to me losing my social life and becoming permanently locked in my room out of fear for what he might say if I met a friend.
It was also after this he began to suspect he had some serious mental health problems and was genuinely struggling with severe mood swings and was hurting himself/had thoughts of hurting himself. I blamed myself for this as it only really properly manifested after I told him about what had happened. It eventually resulted in him calling me to tell me he was going to drown himself in the river on my hometown. I was terrified and started worrying the house down in panic. I promised him I'd always look after him and help him through the issues but recently my eyes were opened to him doing some fucked up stuff like, going through my phone when he came to stay and sending screenshots of private conversations to himself without me knowing (he kept them in a folder on his pc and sent them to others), having a go at me for talking to my family and for telling them the nasty stuff he said and how he'd isolated me from everyone here. I had spoken to him on many occasions about his behaviour and kept forgiving him over and over but the stuff mentioned was the final straw.
At this point I was so pissed I left him but I've heard that he's been struggling again recently and has/has considered seriously hurting himself after the breakup. I still care about him and want to support him through getting help but I don't want to speak to him anymore because he keeps trying to manipulate me back into being with him again and he's angry at me for my choice so I feel like an asshole for both leaving him and for choosing to not support him when getting help for his mental health.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
UbH83JjFdzNnsk0jGaGAmizoQZzC5q0R | afh38n | {
"description": "making a joke which offended a girl I was talking to, which caused her to make herself vomit",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making a joke which offended a girl I was talking to, which caused her to make herself vomit? | Ok so basically this happened about a year ago but didn’t know this sub existed, im on mobile blah blah blah.
So here’s how it started, I (17 M) was talking to this one girl (16 F) in my class and she and I became pretty good friends and by the end of the year prom was coming up so I asked her to it. She said yes and that was about 3 months before the prom, so during those months we went on 3 dates and talked and texted all the time.
Anyways, long story short, she feels like shes leading me on so she doesn’t want to date me anymore. Ok cool, she could’ve lead me on for longer and we both would’ve hurt more. We stopped dating but we were still good friends so we are still texting constantly.
Here’s my problem, she texts me talking about how there is no snacks in her house, so im just like ‘go find some lol’ she replies back that she found like 3 different types of snacks. I jokingly reply back ‘omg you’re eating everything.’ That is the comment that I fucked up on so badly. She just replies back ‘wow’ and I text her like 3 different apologies but no response. Eventually she texts me again and tells me that she didn’t think I’d say something like that.
She then tells me how she makes herself throw up because she is unhappy with her body and says shes been doing it for months now, and when she finally started to eat well I sent her that text and she said that she went to make herself throw up after that.
I had no idea that she was doing that to herself the whole time we were talking.
Reddit, Am I The Asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
5KC9xB4d6qMPdAH87NtOgmH0cdlICTgr | aosydt | {
"description": "not telling my girlfriend that I'm transgender",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 19
} | WIBTA if I didn't tell my girlfriend that I'm transgender? | Context: I'm a 21 year old straight FtM trans man. I've passed as male for years and I don't like people knowing that I'm trans. I've been friends with my potential S/O for a year, and over the past few weeks we've dated, cuddled and kissed and slept in the same bed, but we haven't confirmed a relationship.
Obviously telling her about my gender shit has to happen, especially before we try anything intimate, but would it be asshole-ish for me to start a romantic relationship without telling her? Would it be considered a lying?
I know its unlikely to be a problem for her, she's bisexual and has openly trans friends, but it still feels questionably iffy on my end. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 19,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 19
} | WRONG |
gwU4sP3l9xgM20cvC0NzkDufPfF71Lt9 | agvmpc | {
"description": "trying to do an international bachelor party",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for trying to do an international bachelor party? | I’m engaged to be married and have been discussing potential bachelor party ideas with my best man. The 4 groomsmen and I have all been very close friends for the past 15-20 years. We have lived together, traveled together, completed weeklong backpacking trips, and more. Most of us live in the Western United States.
As we thought through various ideas, my best man and I talked about how an international trip would be fun. I went to Prague on the last bachelor party I attended (different group of friends) and it offered a great mix of a rich cultural and architectural history and happens to have the title of most beer consumption per capita. The trip was filled with walking tours, a beer bike tour, and just general exploration of the city (perhaps boring compared to a “typical” bachelor party, but we all loved it). My best man and I thought through several different locations but ruled many out due to being too expensive, too risky/dangerous, or too far to travel. We zeroed in on Budapest as a potential location.
My best man floated the idea by the group, without me, to get their genuine feedback. The goal was to allow everyone a chance to say no if we had gotten carried away with the idea. I wanted to ensure that the trip would be one that everyone would want to go on and not feel like a burden or obligation. Based upon the feedback, he and I started talking potential dates that could work that would offer the lowest overall price. I offered to pay for some/all of an Airbnb to minimize the total cost since flights are pricey.
A groomsman felt this was way too much time and money, but instead of raise the concern ended up posting it as a question to the editor on a popular blog. The editor responded calling me an asshole for trying to plan something that was beyond a 4-hour drive away and that European vacations should be reserved for, among other things, “a tiny number of beloved friends.”
So, am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
V2uctDR5HIuUyODRgdxmgKVuwTP4qIOL | aqt3r4 | {
"description": "making a snarky comment and ignoring someone because of what they said",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for making a snarky comment and ignoring someone because of what they said? | Long post from a first time poster on mobile, so formatting might be weird. Apologies in advance.
So a little while ago, in a discord server for a certain fandom, me and a few people were discussing Latin classes we take/have taken. I mention, slightly jokingly at one part of this discussion, that I get a little bit of a PTSD flashback whenever I see Latin. The reason, which I didn’t reveal to the group chat but did to a friend who also happened to be in the group later in DMs, was my mother.
Backstory time: I took Latin for 2 years, which was required for all students at my school that was a ‘University Prep’, during the height of my mom’s ‘Stereotypical Chinese Mother’ phase. I literally had the words “If you don’t get into Harvard, go back to China” written in Chinese in my notebook by my mom. Now, my mom is no longer as crazy (just in a different way but I’m also no longer her obedient little drone that wants to be a surgeon), but during this time, there was a lot of yelling, etc. she never hit me, but being an antisocial Chinese kid with only my mom, I valued her opinion above anyone else’s, and it crushed me when she screamed at me for my shortcomings.
One notable memory was when she ripped the cover off of a novel she got for me at TJMaxx during one of these screaming episodes, throwing it and scattering some of the pages into the backyard (dog chewed on it).
So, whenever something makes me remember that time, I get severe anxiety. I’ve never gone to get any kind of diagnosis or anything because, while I believe and want to enforce the importance of mental health, I’m still a little too Asian to try and take care of that aspect for myself. But, I’d get rapid heart beat, this cold, overwhelming fear that makes it feel like I’ve got fish bones stuck in my throat, start trembling, a weird detached feeling to myself, amongst a list of other symptoms.
Now, about what happened in the present: One person that I maybe spoke 3 times to on this server, after I offhandedly said that I get a little bit of a ptsd flashback whenever I read Latin, said, “You know using the term PTSD in a non traumatic way is hurtful to those who have actual PTSD’ and I just???
I felt a rage go through me, which was weird because I’m so used to feeling only dull sensations of emotions nowadays, and I had to put down my phone for a few minutes because earlier listed symptoms haven’t stopped trying to tombstone pile-drive me into a full blown mess. But, after I calmed down a little, I replied, “Aight, but you don’t know me like that” and haven’t talked to her since.
Whenever she speaks in chat, even if I’d been active af previously, I wouldn’t respond to what she said. This was from like, the tail end of January, and I can’t help feeling like I’m being sensitive and overreacting a little....
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FProBun5t2Cy1dZjVq3xe7PWJ1NQ9srF | acnv25 | {
"description": "refusing to answer the phone to my mum after 7pm when I leave home",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for refusing to answer the phone to my mum after 7pm when I leave home | My mum drinks on average about 2-3 bottles of wine a night and has done since I can remember. She is still able to hold down a full time job so I don't know if this makes her an alcohol. I believe this is a coping mechanism for previous traumas in her life… such as an abusive husband. The last of this happened 15 years ago however she sits and dwells on it and I've had many deep conversations with her throughout my life. My brother describes it as ‘mental gymnastics’ in which she over thinks everything in every possible way. He hasn't lived here for 5 years now but I can hear my mum call him 3 or 4 times a week to complain and tells him things over and over again, when very drunk. When I overhear, she hardly let's him say anything and it's always about her terrible life. We have expressed that she needs a therapist or something but she refuses to help herself so I've grown sick of constantly listening to her. I am not her therapist and it's having a mental strain on me as well.
She isn't physically abusive but she does get angry and verbally aggressive with me which has resulted in us having a rocky relationship. Perhaps this has made me resent her. I am leaving home to go to university, a 4 hour train ride away, in September which means she will live in the house by herself. I fear this will make her more lonely and drink more. I know people are encouraged to share their problems but is there no cut off point? Surely after 15 years you'd get professional help? I have no problem talking to her when she is sober, hence the after 7pm.
If there is an emergency, my nan would be the person she'd call as she lives near by. I would not be able to help as I'd lives hours away.
Td/lr My mum drinks to excess and then calls my brother to complain about life at least 3 times a week. I fear this will happen to me when I leave home. I am not her therapist.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
X5A1m2CmLaXej6xR8ccJZh4oZRp1ZwDD | ave3rt | {
"description": "asking my mom to stop telling me about family problems",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for asking my mom to stop telling me about family problems? | I've really been struggling with this, because I definitely FEEL like the asshole and feel guilty. But I had my reasons for doing what I did. I know my mom is not the asshole in this situation, I just want to know if I am.
​
A few years ago, my sister had a falling out with the family. I was living with her at the time. She was doing great, but then all of a sudden just lost it. She met a horrible guy, made a bunch of dumb decisions, became a drug addict, left her husband for him, screwed us all over financially, etc. We all did EVERYTHING WE COULD to try to help her, but ultimatley this guy was dragging her down and she was choosing him. He was violent, drug-addicted, manipulative, was draining all her money, and just a loser. He physically attacked my father once. She broke the lease on our house and didn't pay a cent, stole our money, caused a bunch of damage to the house that we all had to pay for, and cut us out because we didn't get along with her BF. After a long and hard struggle, we chose NOT to support her decision to be with him, told her she'd have a place with us if she ever saw things for what they were but we would not enable that.
​
This was EXTREMELY hard for me. It hurt me really bad, and still does. I've struggled, but have come to a point where I feel like I'm ready to leave the situation behind me and move on with my life. She hasn't reached out to me or been apologetic or regretful in any way.
​
My mom has been still keeping tabs on her. We know my sister is living in a homeless shelter. My mom checks the arrest records and often finds either my sister or her boyfriend. She checks the updates on my sister's Facebook. She calls hospitals and sometimes finds that my sister has been in for an OD, a psych stay, etc. We know my sister has had a child, which has been taken away by CPS because the dad broke the child's rib.
​
I have come to a point where I do not want to hear about all the horrible things going on in her life. I'd like to move on, but it hurts me freshly every time I hear about what she's doing. I KNOW it hurts my mom deeply too, and she cares so much. However, when she finds something out about my sister, she tells me what's going on. That makes things hard for me.
​
So recently, for my own best interest, I asked her "Could you please stop telling me all these bad things happening? It really just makes me sad every time you bring it up." She stopped talking instantly. I could tell that I hurt her feelings. I know I'm her main confidant about this because I'm the one who understands the most. But it's really hard for me when I'm trying to move on.
​
AITA for hurting my mom's feelings to preserve my own? I want to help my mom, but I think it's not good for her to be keeping tabs on my sister. I feel terribly guilty and wish I could un-see the look on her face when I made that statement. But I really thought it was the best thing for me... | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 28,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 37,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
14IpcPPEQh2wtrkWNjWFj3Fbm5hkkTzR | 9yh5sh | {
"description": "not wanting to see my friends anymore",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not wanting to see my friends anymore? | I (28f) have like 5 or 6 people I would call my close friends. I got married in March, and moved an hour away from them. I work full time and I'm in my last year of my Psychology bachelor. My husband and I pretty much fit in an hour or 2 of TV per night, but the rest of the day, we're doing things we have to do.
When I first got married, one friend called me selfish and said she felt used because I was always available before I got in a relationship and never am now that I have my husband. I did reduce seeing her alot more after I got engaged, mainly because things started getting alot more hectic with uni and I was in and out of a few jobs, dealing with bipolar disorder, newly engaged, studying, and honestly, I actually realized how little time I want to spend on ALWAYS being available for other people. Previously, I had been extremely generous with my time, and I could no longer justify spending my time doing favours for others or doing things I genuinely don't like doing (like spending Christmas with her very racist family). I feel like, I dont get much time to do what I want (sometimes I just want to stare at the wall and do absolutely nothing for an hour) so when I do have some spare time, I would rather spend it by myself than sit with someone for an hour. I feel reenergized and feel like I get in contact with my inner self.
Over the past month or 2, I've started resenting most of my friends, and only feel like I can actually tolerate one now. Everyone else just complains and makes me feel bad about me not wanting to drink (I hate hangovers), about me not going for trips (I really cannot afford to and even if I could, I'd go on a proper honeymoon with my husband), and not being there for them. Yes I feel bad but I am already exhausted with so much other crap, I can't fathom doing everything I used to do.
Anyway i literally want to burn bridges now, cos I can't seem to shake them, but my conscience is eating away at me. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
oJ2oBndowfNymv643xGCmUMbVNsomXlP | afu1zk | {
"description": "being annoyed at my friend for not wanting to go to the gym together",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for being annoyed at my friend for not wanting to go to the gym together? | About couple of months ago, I mentioned to my friend that I'd like to start going to the gym, but I don't really know what I'm doing. He said he'd been looking for a gym buddy himself and offered me to go with him.
We started going together a couple of times a week or so. Often we'd meet up for breakfast or a coffee before or after. He was much more into it than I was, and would go without me more times in the week, but I enjoyed it as a fun thing to do together as friends.
Over the Christmas / New Year period he went away for a few weeks and we fell out of our routine. Today I messaged him and said I need to get back on it. He replied saying he "doesn’t see a point in going with anyone anymore" and because I can't keep up, it means he has to spend longer ("2 hours instead of 1.5") than he would if he went by himself and that it's annoying to have to change the weights over (because obviously he can lift more than me).
I'm pretty upset about this. It feels like he's saying I'm not good enough for him, and that hanging out together, while also helping me out, isn't worth the extra 30 minutes a couple times a week. It's especially painful as it was his idea to begin with, and he was so blunt in saying this - it's not like he said "look, I think I need a gym buddy more at my level, but let's do something else together some time" - it's just like "nah, I'm done with you now".
Am I justified to feel hurt here, or are my expectations unreasonable? AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
hjwyYwcHLR1557olrL8jLaSzDN9YayuV | adpvc2 | {
"description": "breaking up with my actively suicidal girlfriend after she admitted she was underage to me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for breaking up with my actively suicidal girlfriend after she admitted she was underage to me? | I’ve been dating this girl for about a month now. We met through a shared interest...to keep it vague I’m going to say that we met at a generic sports game. I’m 21 years old and she claimed to be 19 and actively attending college. No real warning signs fired off from the get-go, she was built like an adult, she shared my interest in video games, she had a TikTok account but I knew girls my age who were obsessed with it, she told me she loved me after maybe a week but I’ve dated plenty of girls who say “I love you” freely and carelessly...I’m not sure if I was just a blind dumbass but to me this was all pretty normal for people our age still shaking off their baby fat.
She was pretty open with her mental illness from the start, which didn’t really scare me off too much as someone with bipolar (I usually mention it early on as well as to avoid people I date accusing me of hiding it from them). She mentioned being on suicide watch on and off, I actually took comfort in knowing she was being treated and had people supporting her who knew to help her out and keep her from hurting herself when shit got hard, no real red flags for me there either. The fact that she was open about her mental illness and seemed pretty normal on the surface didn’t really scare me off too much.
She still lived at home, as did I at 19. Her parents routinely invaded her space, as did mine at 19. She talked about school and how much it stressed her out but how disappointed her parents would be in her if she dropped out. Perfectly reasonable to me.
Things never really got too close for us, we kept just missing eachother since she was attending school and I work on-call. The worst thing that happened between us was that she sent some risqué but fully clothed pictures my way. Either way, I didn’t really know too much about her personal life, we mostly just talked about our interests and not about our personal business.
Tonight, she texted me, saying she didn’t think she was going to live much longer. I tried to calm her down to the best of my ability, talking her through it while heavily recommending she call a suicide hotline or go to the hospital if she felt like she was in any danger. She started to get into how much she hated school, then she said something along the lines of “I have two years left, i really want to go to university but can’t if I drop out”. That was the moment where things finally clicked in my head and I realized both that she was lying to me and I was the densest fuck on the planet for not realizing it. I continued to calm her down, until she told me she felt a little safer. Not wanting to sleep on the fact that she just told me she was actually 16 or so for one second longer than I had to, I said I couldn’t ignore the fact she just admitted she was a minor to me and broke up with her over text. I was deeply uncomfortable with the concept of waiting to bring it up at a later date, so I did it right then and there, then immediately started screenshotting the whole conversation and scrubbing the internet if any evidence we were ever together. I didn’t block her on anything because I wanted to be there for her, but I went out of my way to delete everything that involved the two of us together.
Tl;dr I broke up with the girl I’d been dating in the same text conversation where she told me she wanted to kill herself because she admitted to me she was a minor and I couldn’t ignore that fact until she was more stable. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
K0czMmXEQYzCpdhvpDleqcsejIv5f24w | 9wonc9 | {
"description": "cutting contact with my social circle for a while",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | WIBTA if I cut contact with my social circle for a while | Lately there has been a shitload of drama around my friends. Everyone is feeling shit and I really need th e space to get back my energy. Its gotten to the point that I don't actually enjoy hanging out anymore, but I don¨t want to leave them with all their problems and drama. Some of it they have said they need my help with but I am going to go nuts if I dont get alone time. Would I be the AssHole if I just up and left for a month or so, to focus on my mental health? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
3T1GzhxJCPuz1V2vm41TvQ4n0Tbbyyfn | b10gql | {
"description": "telling other students to stop spending time to win art school competition than their own education",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for telling other students to stop spending time to win art school competition than their own education | Hi guys,
My art school running this competition every term, and the students can submit entries. If you among the chosen 12, you get some store credit and website posts. When I was at school for the first term, I was kinda excited about it, but then I found out that only one guy (co-founder) is judging the whole competition and it really depend on his personal taste.
After that I feel like it is more of a "who can please this guy" more than a competition that suppose to inspire or boost our work. So I kinda against investing time into it. I still submit my stuffs in and even won 1 time, so I guess it is okay.
Then my fellow classmates start investing heavily in it and kinda ignore the more important courses. And I saw people who were sad or rage when they did not get selected by that ONE single guy, while the other classes' work and finals were half-abandoned.
So from that on to now, to people who I befriend with, I usually advise them to do the best work for themselves and their own education, not to win the competition. Most of people I talk to understand what I am trying to say and take my advise. Until today I kinda casually talked to a guy I know for a while and he was visibly upset, his face turned red when I said I don't give a damn about that competition.
He told me that if we win, recruiters from art studios may look at the website and hire us. That he could be famous and people with know about him, good for publicity. I told him that if it is that easy, why do we need to present our portfolios at the end, and there is also career day when you can talk to companies' representative. Most of them I talked to want to know what can be contributed to the company, not just only the stuff that get made here for homework.
And on the other hand, what if we win, what if we didn't win, who cares. We are here to learn, get educated, and learn from the best artists, not to focus all the time and resource to impress one guy that solely judge on his personal preference. And he countered me with "the guy has been in the school for years, he knows better" and I told him that yes, but that does not mean he does not have a bias taste.
Then I concluded to him by saying: Do your work as best as you can, but for yourself and your own good, don't do it for a guy or a competition. There are more than that in this environment and the experience you get from participating all the classes are way more valuable than a website features and a few coins.
I think I was a bit too harsh on the guy and I feel like I shouldn't say it after all. I apologized for being rude and told him that is what I feel like and he can make his own decision.
Then he calmed down and we started talking normally again.
I just don't want to see my friend gonna walk down that destructive path and broken when they dont achieve what they want.
AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
ukx6G7yxgtB7mRU2HTTYNEb0yeFIS5j7 | 9zlzx7 | {
"description": "being upset that I wasn't informed someone would suddenly be living in my home until the day they arrived",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For being upset that I wasn't informed someone would suddenly be living in my home until the day they arrived? | The story pretty much goes like this I was sitting with my family at Thanksgiving dinner. Everything was going fine until randomly my exclaims that someone who is an ex-convict will being stay with us for a few weeks & that they'll be here tonight. I want to make one thing clear before continuing about the housing situation. I living in the house with my name on the lease, the electric bill is in my name, & finally the gas bill is my name. I've also pay rent each month. I don't live on my family an we all contribute to the house. So naturally I was upset that I couldn't be informed before hand. It's not that I don't want the person at my house. I'm perfectly happy to open my doors to someone who needs help. It's fact I was treated like I have no say in what happens in my home. When trying to tell my mother this I was lashed out at & told I'm a selfish SOB. I once agian reminded her that I don't mind the person staying over. I was then once agian cursed out this time told "I don't have a say and this is her motherfucking house." My sister the entire time agreed with her. Saying "It doesn't mattter." Reddit I'm very open when it comes to admitting when I'm wrong & willing to apologise if so. Please just let me know AITA?
TLDR; Got in an argument with my family about someone staying with us suddenly unannounced. Then being told I have no say in the home despite having to constantly contribute. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5e7wQWtJGYPEGnimdcAVkZ01KrZaXwbX | amlgda | {
"description": "breaking up with him when he needed me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA i broke up with him when he needed me. | Yeah long romance mushy story time. I was in a terrible time in my life. I had been dumped out of an unhealthy relationship, lost all of my friends, when about two months later one reached out after coming back from a summer camp. We talk for a few weeks when my depression got real bad I told him I was transgender (ftm) and scared nobody would ever love me. He said "well I do" and that's how we started dating.
We had been dating for like five months, he was very supportive. I think I would have killed myself without him. He would stay up with me, help me with what trans issues he could. Then I noticed how skinny he was. Neither of us where very physical people and we where not interested in sex so it took a while, I always knew he was skinny, but this was a level I'd never seen in person. Slowly I noticed how he never ate. I finally asked him if he had an eating disorder and he said "depends on your definition, but I don't want to talk about it " in the year we dated I tried to help, he opened up a little, but never really saw a problem with the way he was living. Said he would try to change but that lasted for a week. Refused to see a therapist. He was over six foot and weighed maybe 110. Skinniest person I've ever seen outside of a war zone. The statistics on people with eating disorders who don't seek help are very not good.
He used to have a drug/drinking problem, but beat it before we dated. I didn't care, I think it made him more attractive in a way. Showing that level of self control, the ability to beat your demons, shows a lot of character. In college thought he started getting into it again, almost ever weekend. He said he was having fun, and it wasn't a lot so it was okay. I told him addicts don't get to do "just a little".
That summer I moved a few hours away and I think we saw each other three times in the last four months. That's when I noticed I didn't really miss him when he was gone, so I called it off. I still care for him deeply, we just where not right for each other romantically I guess.
He asked to stay friends, I told him I couldn't watch him go down the path he was going down and unless he seeked help he wasnt going to see 40 years old. I couldn't watch that happen. He said he was fine the way he was living so I ignored his message and never texted back. Haven't talked since.
His roommate called me telling me he was talking about killing himself a week later. I gave him his brothers phone number to call and said I was sorry but I didn't know what to do outside of recommend professional help.
He's still going down the path he was going down last I checked, but he's still alive.
Was I wrong for breaking up with him when he was in trouble, when he stuck by me during my time of need? It wasn't the only reason we broke up, but he needed me. I knew after months of trying that he wouldn't listen to me, but maybe he would have. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
LPIchKHpsGl3IKp90xdkJX1njGzE1HSr | axq2tf | {
"description": "not caring that someone thinks our guest bed is uncomfortable",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for not caring that someone thinks our guest bed is uncomfortable? | Backstory on the people and location - Long time friends of mine and my wife (known her 15+ years, him since they've been together) stay with us occasionally. They live several hours away. We know this couple well, have traveled with them, my wife was in their wedding, etc. Overall relationship is very good. Her parents are in the same area as us, but have a small house that is at capacity and not convenient for them to stay in so they usually stay at our place. We have a guest room with a nice bed, they have full use of a separate bathroom, a driveway where they can leave their car without blocking us in, etc. We go out of our way to make sure everyone has what they need. Last trip, they brought their baby and we had a portable crib set up and rocking chair in the room. The bed in question used to be mine but wasn't used much after my now wife and I moved in together as she had a larger bed. Many friends and family have slept on the guest one recently, including me occasionally - no complaints. It was quality when I bought it, not some cheap "it's only for the guest room" bed.
So, the wife in this couple comes out for the weekend to go to an event in our area. We repeatedly offer the guest room, but she declines each time and stays with her parents. I figure since it's just her and she had no car because she flew in, etc. it was just easier. My wife had dinner with her one of the nights she was in town. I wasn't there, so I'm hearing this third party, but it's from my wife and I believe the details to be true. This person informed my wife that the real reason she didn't stay with us is because this bed is "so uncomfortable" and her and her husband couldn't stand it the last time they stayed with us a few nights as mentioned earlier. I thought this was pretty audacious to bring up about free accommodations even if what she was saying was accurate. She then proceeded to show my wife texts FROM THE HUSBAND encouraging her to bring up how bad the bed is! My wife arrived home around 10:30 that night and told me about it. She felt bad (scratching my head over that reaction). I nearly hit the ceiling. I thought it was incredibly rude and ungrateful, not to mention completely false. If anything, they have a hardness/softness preference that this bed doesn't meet, but that doesn't make it a bad bed and sure as shit doesn't mean I should have to do dick to resolve it.
To further complicate matters, my wife informed this person that we have another mattress in the basement that is unused and maybe they could try that one. Sorry, but there is no way I'm moving a mattress up two flights of stairs in the off chance that it \*might\* be acceptable for people who stay with us maybe 6 nights total in a year. On top of that, I'm not inclined to do anything besides make a hotel recommendation after this load of unappreciative bullshit over what is essentially a free and very convenient, safe, and quiet place to stay.
AITA here? Thanks. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
BuCDSuHQhRXTm0VUvNUVjYGqPRPh8mit | aowch0 | null | AITA? Best friend struggles with consent | throwaway for obvious reasons
My best friend fell in love with me last year after about 4 months of knowing me and originally being "straight". At the time, I had a gf so we tried to keep things platonic as the sexual tension mounted each day.
Flash forward 6 months and I ended up breaking up with my gf, and best friend (bf) was very excited about the opportunity to try something. A bit too excited. I went out to a bar one evening with classmates, got stupidly intoxicated, and then went home and went over to her house. She was completely sober, I was completely trashed. We proceeded to hookup to a new degree for the first time, none of which I remember, and then when I came to I asked her if we had sex. When she confirmed, I immediately started bawling and ran home. She followed me and tried to figure out what was wrong but I shut her out and just kind of dealt with it. She says now that she thought I wanted it as I was the one pushing for it when drunk, but understandably we've had to have many conversations about trust and respect.
Flash forward again about a year later now, its been a messy 12 months getting over my ex and just generally trying to figure shit out in an entirely new city away from them both. She was joking about us getting married someday and said "I'll just get you drunk and make you sign the papers". And I shut off, completely. She got upset because she thought she was being cute and I hadn't responded, so I explained that I didn't like the idea of her taking advantage of me again and would appreciate it if she didn't contact me for a while.
I'm really not sure what to do, and I guess I just wanted to know what to say/do/feel/ what is an appropriate reaction to all of this/ was it rude to cut her off again, since I was the initial instigator the first night, even though I don't remember it at all? Am I the asshole here for pushing her off for so long based on one night?
(we're both female, not that it really matters but for context) | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
piVf8LLKQaJqHGsHXnQ5PWw1hEJV6YH5 | aa82yt | {
"description": "asking my ex to get checked for chronic traumatic brain injury",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for asking my ex to get checked for chronic traumatic brain injury? | My ex played soccer in college and all through elementary and middle school. Fun fact but women's soccer is actually the sport most prone to concussions, not american football.
I was my ex's first intimate relationship, but im a few years older than her, so I have had my fair share of ex-es that could be considered crazy. Like half the posts in this sub could be them. This girl had all negative stuff of my past, more "normal", relationships -- the yelling, the passive aggressiveness, the shittalking to friends during fights (girls tend to do this during fights more than guys). It also had some of the crazier stuff I've already been through too --- the pathological lies, the suicidal threats, the cheating etc. This is all stuff that may or may not happen in a relationship but is not necessarily a sign of brain injury.
What made this relationship different tho is the way this girl would argue. Of all the things, it was her thought processes during arguments that set off alarm bells in my brain. It wasnt crazy like in an emotionally-sporadic way, it was crazy in like a psychotic-delusional way. She would legit take everything I said and twist it into the worst way possible, but it was in ways that made no logical sense whatsoever. It got to the point where just as a test I could literally agree with everything she was saying and she would still twist my words to keep the fight going somehow. I'm telling you, it was like the words that came out of my mouth were not processed on the other end, like she couldnt fathom on a cognitive level what was happening. And it got to the point where some days i would basically just sit and watch her argue with herself, where I would seriously wonder if there was any possible thing I could say (even if it wasnt how i truly felt) to get her out of this mood.
When she moved out (after a big fight where that strategy I'd been using went horribly wrong) she spread a bunch of rumors about me that weren't true. I mean that sucked but it does seem like something that happens in relationships occasionally. What made this different was that her dad actually reached out to me to say that she "wasnt the same person anymore" and that he hadnt talked to her in 3 months. So yea, all that stuff about the suicidal partner was happening here -- I couldnt defend myself to my friends and even my family (she reached out to them too with her weird manipulative delusiond) without risking her offing herself. I guess that's not relevant tho.
A CT scan wont diagnose CTE by itself, but it could be really, really useful 3 years from now to show that the brain has changed over time. That's cause CTE is a degenerative disease.
I'm wondering how I can bring this up without her thinking I'm trying to antagonize her somehow...? I really feel like i care about her a lot as a friend and I am worried about her brain cause she's smart af too... I doubt I could even show her this thread without her assuming the worst in me. But it would be worse if she somehow thought I was being clingy or like I want to get back together.
I waited a few months and we had our first friendly convo yesterday so now is a good time I think....
A lot of the threads in this sub are about "how you say it" not " what you say". I think this is the most precarious "how you say it" situation possible because it is a legit crazy person here and i dont know what to do.
| HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
m42XIVkcn1IK2HjZoJLYidHy4gU51QRk | aooepx | {
"description": "telling a girl to leave after she ruined sex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 40
} | AITA for telling a girl to leave after she ruined sex? | Okay so long story but bare with me. Last week I had a one night stand with this girl, we’re both around the same age bracket (early twenties). I’ve never really hung out with her just the two of us as I know her from a mutual friend and I’d usually just speak to her when me, mutual friend and the rest of our friend group were together. I always found her extremely attractive and thought she carried herself well as most girls, including some in our friend group act like complete whores with no self respect, so this shy, timid and cute girl was a breath of fresh air to me. It made me instantly want to strike up something more intimate with her and as we got talking more and she became more comfortable with talking to me in person and on social media we quickly became close and started flirting.
Flash forward to a few months later we’re sexting and all of that crap so finally last week we agreed to hang out at my place while my parents were out, pizza, movie the usual schlock. Quickly we were making out on the couch and I thought it’d be best to carry on upstairs incase someone walked in earlier than expected. The sex started off great, honestly I don’t know if it sounds creepy but she had this whole innocent, pure vibe and it got me so fired up that I was afraid of climaxing earlier than I usually do. We began doing doggy and everything was going great until half way through, she farted while I was inside of her (sorry for the detail but yeah) and it wasn’t just a little silent pop, it was a loud trumpet sort of sound and I had to stop because my erection immediately went down. She starts looking confused and asking if everything was okay, I tried to just play it cool and pretend I was tired but I think my attitude put her off because I couldn’t keep eye contact with her (honestly I was just so grossed out I know I sound like a douche but I’m just being honest)
I told her eventually what the issue was and she started crying and apologising saying it was a mistake, I felt bad because she looked really embarrassed but for me personally I couldn’t carry on or try again with sex after that, I felt pretty gross if I’m being honest so I ended up asking her politely if she could leave and we’d hang out again some other time. She didn’t say anything and just got dressed and went downstairs waiting for her cab, I didn’t go down and wait with her because I had to jump into the shower and by the time I got out she was gone. I haven’t spoke to her in the past week since it happened and I feel pretty awkward about even trying now as I feel there’s no point. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 40,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 40
} | WRONG |
ykhOq3JkD4Oounie70zgg1WuimJhbuty | asid7u | {
"description": "getting mad at my fiancee for not helping me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for getting mad at my fiancee for not helping me. | for context: Me and my fiancee have been together for 3 years. I love him to death but he is very bull headed. He is the only one in our relationship that has a car and a drivers license.
​
I was cooking chicken parm today, I was making marinara for the dish and had made, what I thought , was enough. cut to about 2 when I began to batter and fry the chicken, about half way through I realized I didn't make enough sauce. My fiancee walks in and I ask him "would you please go to the store down the street to get some jar sauce please?" he said "I can watch the stove while you go". I tried to tell him that I needed to keep frying and asked him once more if he could go. He repeated that he could watch the stove. I got irritated and said please once more but when he huffed out a "fine" I gave up and just ran down my street to get the sauce. I came home to the oil on, nothing in it, and him washing dishes. I said "hey" and asked why the oil was on. "oh, I didn't know how you were frying things so I just let it be, but I watched it to make sure the oil wasn't burning." I said ok, feeling a bit agitated, but I just wanted to get shit done.
Then he said "I think I did well since I was going to get the sauce even though I didn't want to leave" Admittedly without thinking, I responded "yeah, cuz I asked you to get it 3 times to get it babe" in an Irritated tone. He stormed off into our room and we have barley talked since.
TL;DR: my fiancee is upset at me because I was irritated he made me walk to the store so I could finish dinner. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
vbpBoQ0LjEAbebLzTW0HlrPzTn2LwfgP | ba6bka | {
"description": "having sex with a buddy's ex wife",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | WIBTA if I have sex with a buddy’s ex wife? | I’ll try and simplify the circumstances as much as possible. So I always had a crush on this girl, we went to school together but she thought she was too good for me.
A few years later we wind up working at the same place. She’s more down to earth now and seems to have been humbled a lot, but she had a man and still didn’t seem interested in me more than platonic friends.
Few more years later, she marries a guy that I’d slowly became friends with. Few months into the marriage they’re having problems and I, for some reason, am the person she goes to with their problems, but I tried to stay as neutral and objective as possible since were all friends now.
After they divorce she goes to Florida for a year and finds herself. He proceeds to party his ass off and bang every chick that looks at him twice.
After she’s discovered herself she moves back to a town about an hour away and starts seeing him again. He sleeps with someone else after a couple days and she comes to me with it again. I’m there to listen but make it very clear that I am neutral in this. She even said something about a bunch of his friends trying to holler at her, which I did not, till a couple days ago.
That’s the gist of the back story. Out of the blue her and I started snap chatting and exchanging a few pictures and before long were talking about hooking up. If I do it I’m not gonna tell him about it but if he somehow finds out I’m not going to lie to him. She’s his ex wife, divorce is final and long set in stone.
He also has a girlfriend now and I keep thinking about the fact that he had her back and cheated agains. To me, he made it clear that he didn’t care that much about her to begin with but I’m still a little torn morally.
Input much appreciated! | HYPOTHETICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 13,
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} | RIGHT |
ZoAGpzjjk1L0QdaTJTu9Q3i9El2wsIjv | ao3vg1 | null | AITA: My best friend pulled a crazy unprofessional move and doesn't see it. Are my SO and I wrong? | Throwaway because you never know who's reading these.
A bit of backstory here:
My best friend has been a beacon in my life for years, and was a great example to me of how to be a rock-solid, steady, consistent person. Whenever I had issues, they were there to counsel me through them. For the sake of this story, I'm going to name my best friend Ryan. Ryan and I along with a group of friends relocated to another city several years ago for professional reasons (we both had separate reasons to go to the same city, and roomed together with a small group of guys in a rented home).
When we arrived in this new place, he started dating a great girl and they're now married with one kid and another on the way. I got engaged in the fall and will be getting married in the summer to a girl who is childhood friends with Ryan's wife. For the sake of this story, my SO's name will be Samantha. Ryan's wife isn't relevant to the story, I'm leaving her out of this.
Samantha's dad runs a small business, and for the sake of not identifying myself I won't reveal what they do. It's not really relevant to the story, it's just important that you know that these were all relatively close friendships. Samantha's dad trusted Ryan to manage and run things (think MM business that didn't require much in the way of personnel). Samantha handled invoicing and some sales, and Ryan handled GM duties and would frequently travel to meet new clients and schmooze potential ones.
I'll be the first to admit that Samantha's dad (I'll call him Rick) is very old-fashioned in the way of business, and is constantly trying to work angles to save money and maximize profits. It's very off-putting to millennials to do things this way because it's honestly kind of sleazy, but in the end no one complained because they were making money. They were so old-fashioned that Rick refused to digitize their books and wouldn't let anyone else handle accounting. To save the company and the employees money, everyone was 1099. No W2's were handed out, which was stated as a major reason by Ryan as to why he did what he did. Rick also has severe issues trusting people with his business, and Ryan states that he was never really given the freedom to do what he needed to do. Samantha disputes this, and claims Rick never came around to check up. She says there was never smoke where Ryan claimed there was a fire. That's all minor compared to what happened, so I'll move on.
After around a year of Ryan working there, Samantha began dropping small comments to me here and there about how Ryan wasn't doing what he was supposed to. Rick had required them from the beginning to report on progress every week, and that it was Samantha's job to ensure that Ryan completed them. Samantha would submit her end of the reports every week, and Ryan would never fill his out. But if Samantha never did her reports, Ryan would chastise her for not completing them. Rick was honestly so busy that he never looked at them anyway unless there was a client issue that he was trying to trace the source of. I'll also admit that Samantha was not always perfect in what she did, and sometimes has trouble focusing and following through. Her punctuality also isn't the best. This was another point of tension for her and Ryan, for which he would chastise her. However, Ryan also frequently decided to "work from home" some days, which we all know is a fancy way to say "I want to sleep in".
At this point in the timelines, the company had gotten involved in contracts for a somewhat large business, I'll call them Black Harbor. The guy who runs it is a rotten human being (we'll call him Chad), manipulative and abusive in all of his ways. That's not a matter of opinion, most of the industry in our town won't touch him. He's radioactive and has a bad reputation for screwing people over. He's only still in business because he does a ton of government contracting, and can't get other businesses to work with him (shocker). I don't know how Ryan got contracting with them, but he did. It should have set off alarms that they were working together, but for whatever reason it didn't.
Back in December, Samantha's family and I were about to leave for an extended vacation. To say it had been a stressful year for everyone was a significant understatement, and we were all looking forward to the downtime. As we're packing our bags the night before the departure, Rick gets a call from Ryan. Ryan says he's found another job, and quits on the spot. No two weeks' notice. This is understandably upsetting to Rick, and Ryan follows that gut punch with a bullet to the head- he's going to work for Black Harbor as a sales director. Suddenly, all of Ryan's trips to Black Harbor HQ made sense. Chad had been grooming him to steal him from the company so he could cancel the $500,000+ in contracts and just pay Ryan a salary. Ryan, who is well-intentioned but I believe severely naive, claimed that wasn't the case. Rick reminds him that he signed a non-compete, and that this was a clear violation. He also reminds him that he would've been in the clear if he had waited nine more days, as his contract expired on the first of the year.
Rick goes on to generally blast him for pulling something like this right before Christmas, and right before they were going to leave for vacation. Ryan quite literally doesn't understand, even after the two of them sat down and discussed it only a couple of hours later.
I knew Ryan was struggling for money. What he hadn't told Rick or anyone else was that he'd put in a bid on a house that was rejected because he was 1099 and not W2. He ran around our circle of friends after he left the company and told people that was a major reason he left. He didn't bring that up to Rick a single time, orally or in writing. He never spoke a word of it to Samantha. In fact, of the myriad of mostly moronic reasons he brought up to other people to justify his move were never once communicated. It seems to me that if you're going to screw people over by leaving a company, you should do it once you've established your reasons in writing. Emails, texts, etc. That way you have something to fall back on if you need to ethically prove your case. We live in an at-will state, and Ryan can leave anytime for any reason.
No one, Rick included, had any issue that Ryan left. It was how he did it. Rick spent well over a year training him, mentoring him, and connecting him in the industry, and Ryan took all of that and left for a direct competitor without any warning or negotiation, and took a lot of money with him. He also fails to understand how Black Harbor was gaslighting him the entire time he was working with them on contracts, and resents the idea that they'd do that despite Chad's clear track record.
All in all, the time I wanted to spend with my family several hours away had to be cut several days short due to Samantha having to help put out the massive fire that this became. Hundreds of thousands of dollars in contracts were gone. The company has recovered only after Rick threatened to sue over the non-compete, and Chad at Black Harbor reinstated the contracts he attempted to back out of. Chad claims not to have known that Ryan quit so soon, and was waiting for his employment contract to expire. In general, it's just a bad look on Ryan.
And now, after Rick has gone through Ryan's email account, it's become clear that a great deal of communications with Black Harbor was happening off the record. They'd reach a point in discussions to where Ryan would ask to move the conversation to another email account. That's sketchy in itself, but also curious is that Rick never knew that Ryan was paying so much attention to Black Harbor that the company's smaller clients were getting virtually no attention. Multiple smaller clients dropped the company's services because their emails were going unanswered, which was Ryan's responsibility. He told no one about his.
Every time we've talked to Ryan about it (he's always the one that brings it up), he claims "I just had to do what was right for me and my family".
Are we the assholes? The whole situation seems insanely unprofessional to me, and every time we confront him with how we feel, we're told, "I see where you're coming from, and I don't agree." There was no warning that this was coming to ANYONE and there was no communication whatsoever about Ryan's frustrations. However...he's convinced he made the right move. | HISTORICAL | {
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
Li4F2Pj1ybMgphNJgGfSpG0s331qiu0W | b8b3af | {
"description": "getting a pro haircut",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA if I get a pro haircut? | Ok hear me out. My hair is currently very long, and my housemate is a hairdresser. She recently was like 'Oh I'll cut everyone's hair!' and she already did my other housemate. Great job, all good.
Now the problem. I've been wanting to go super short for a while, which is what I used to have. So I asked if she could do it? And also I offered to pay if she wanted since giving a short haircut to a woman can be a lot of work.
Instantly I could tell I made a mistake. Her eyes got huge and she went into diplomacy mode. Oh she'd go short, but let's do medium-short because I can always go shorter, right?
Oh crap, I think, she doesn't want to give me a really short haircut and then live with me if I get offended. I scared her. No amount of insisting would convince her that actually I won't care however it turns out.
In the end she gives me a cut and cuts off literally an inch, and my hair went from very, very long to merely very long. It's nice, but?? My friends laughed at my new short hair when I showed them.
Now my question, I still want *actually* short hair, and I don't want to put pressure on my housemate. WIBTA if I go to a salon? Or am I stuck now with long hair forever? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sKpHkOE0ChsyNdA46G2YKkUetryZWySF | ajg4dl | {
"description": "lending my peer at school a pen because of his previous actions towards me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA Am I the asshole lending my peer at school a pen because of his previous actions towards me? | So for a while, I have been semi friends with a person who is in many of my classes and we get along kinda well. About 2 weeks ago I lent him my pen, explicitly explaining I needed/wanted it back the next day. A couple days pass and I don’t want to bring it up because it seems a little rude so I let it be. Fast forward to yesterday and thanks to a little encouragement from my friends, I confront him about it and he begrudgingly gives it back. Today at school he asked for it back and when I declined he called me a dickhead and has told many of his friends to ignore me. Am I the asshole and should I just let him keep the pen (not worth very much)
Thanks everyone.
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
NKNPZJHPuFiHMZ5dmSDKGZWjveged9IN | abcqkr | {
"description": "being a little racist",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
} | AITA for being a little racist? | So in the last few months I made friends with my Vietnamese classmate. We were pretty chill but I made jokes about the Vietnam War and that ROBLOX game I used to play. He was cool with it until I messaged his story with a heart and a text that says "No homo.". He got really mad at me, and I demanded an explanation on why he cursed at me. I did a stupid thing and posted it in my class group chat. Then he told our adviser about it, and he kept bringing up my Vietnamese jokes. I explained to him that I always say sorry and he accepted it but he didn't say anything. I got a bad image for a while but I explained it to my previously Bi classmate. But after a while, things started to calm down and we became good friends. Just asking if I was the asshole so I can change. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
} | WRONG |
ANztsmd71SeG069gvkZc2OATkoFwauxC | a9yzx7 | {
"description": "telling my brother he's the reason I want to kill myself",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for telling my brother he's the reason I want to kill myself. | So my brother has been bullying me for years now. (I am 16, he is 17) The main reason he is able to do this is since I am 4'11" and he is 5'11". He uses this to his advantage to beat me up, hide my phone in places I can't reach, stop me from getting away from these situations, and then when my parents get home, he convinces them I hit him or something, causing him to do this while in reality I just hit him back. As another example, last night at 12 midnight, he told me to get him a water. I told him that he should just get it himself, bbut he threatened to beat me up and made me get him the water. All this has really gotten to me, considering I have to deal with this on a daily basis, and I have recently started wanting to commit suicide because of him. WIBTA for telling him this? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
sTZwhtqrontdraMGOsioHwLbL669rjxW | anfc0f | {
"description": "wanting to break up with my girlfriend for mental health issues",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting to break up with my girlfriend for mental health issues? | My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half (I am 17, she is 18), and in that time she has gone through a lot of family issues. I have tried to help her through everything, but lately her own mental health issues have been deteriorating mine. I regularly stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning trying to calm her down, tiring me to an extent that i am late to school almost every day. Am I the asshole for wanting to break up with her to protect myself? I am one of the only supportive people in her life, but I don’t know how much longer I can do it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
YDBhZdD5z0mCFVBzPZOGNxD55x1IWFs7 | b70t1g | {
"description": "not helping my friends move",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not helping my friends move | So first post here, I'll keep it brief, all names are fake.
​
I am just moving out of a 3 bedroom house with two roommates but one's girlfriend is a close friend of ours and just lives with us as well since she never goes home due to a bad roommate situation. so I'm moving into a 2 bedroom apartment with the one roommate, who we will call Bill, and the other roommate and his girlfriend will be moving in together who we will call john and sally respectively. John and sally are able to move in to their place a couple days early so they plan to take advantage of it. What this means is that they move out before the weekend while bill and myself have to wait until the end of the weekend. so there will be a two day gap between our moves. We planned about two weeks ahead about where moving trucks go, who is able to hep who, who cleans what, etc. Due to my busy schedule i am unable to help them move on the Friday because i had midterms, and big projects due, we all spoke about it and agreed it was fine (bill couldn't help either since he had to leave for work in the morning). building up to the move out date for john and sally, bill and i help move some of his stuff to the garage just do it was easier the morning of.
​
John/sally's move out date arrives and bill wakes up to go to work but helps them move some boxes first. I however had to continue studying and working on the projects in the morning before my bus arrived (i was in the house, i just was working on the things we spoke about on my computer). They asked me to move my car so there moving truck could pull up which i did but afterwards i went back to my school work. Later that morning when I'm at school, cramming for my midterm, i receive a text from John saying that he is pissed at me for not helping him move, i responded with telling him sorry but i had to work on my schoolwork. he then refused to respond. i later found some my moving boxes were crushed and destroyed. the text really fucked my mindset up before the midterm so i decided to post it here for some piece of mind.
so reddit,
AITA for not helping him move the morning of.
P.S. i do not expect his help when bill and i move out in two days, don't know if it is worth mentioning. | HISTORICAL | {
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"OTHER": 7,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
BCCaEBrwxaAXFBnlQU4kBvkBt6onv4gb | al09qb | null | AITA? catholic boyfriend, while i am atheist | So I have this dilemma with my boyfriend. He is one of those devout catholics. I don't mind because he doesn't force his religion on me, and doesn't force me to go to mass with him. But recently (this never usually happened with me until a few weeks ago) whenever we eat, he does the sign of the cross. I find it so annoying, and I told him. I told him that God didn't make your meal and anyway that rant pursued. He told me something along the lines of I thought you accepted me for who I am. I did as long as that part of you is kept to yourself.
Am I over reacting? I just really think it is ridiculous, and although he is a very smart person, this thing just reminds me that he doesn't often think with his head. I feel like I am over reacting a bit, but I just haaate to see him be so holier-than-thou-ill-make-the-sign-of-the-cross-before-dinner kinda guy.
​
The real reason why this is bothering me because if this relationship is for the long run, he will impose me to get married in a church, and that the children will be raised in his faith. I find this absolutely unacceptable and terrorising my own beliefs.
AITA for wanting some boundaries? Or is it the case that mixed relationships will never work? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 25
} | WRONG |
L5v033wy7rID8VKBvriZYnAR1GvQdgta | b3go2v | {
"description": "wanting to stay away from my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for wanting to stay away from my family? | Hi all, I'm so confused,first post.
Backstory: for the past few years I had suffered from a really bad depression. Now at age 20, I'm feeling a lot better and I'm able to move on with my life, college etc. I go to college about 4 hours away from my hometown and honestly I wanted to go farther. I hate the town I grew up in due to just my experience there. When I come back there it just puts me in a bad mood and my family doesn't make it better. My oldest sister (24) has bad anger issues and when she's angry I get the most of it. My mam is also dealing with a lot of bad stuff right now and it's safe to say she is not mentally okay. I seem to be the only one to notice and I try to help her by suggesting counselling and other methods but that's all I can do. I find it hard to stay at home for long periods of time for these reasons.
What happened: I'm off of college this whole week. My best friend is about to go on placement for college and I won't be able to see her until September. Because of this, she was going to visit me in college and I was going to visit her. We planned to get drunk, dance and generally have a good time (note: this is legal as I'm for Europe ;) ). She came to visit me a few weeks ago (which is the first time I saw her in months) and I was going to meet her today. Everything was set until mam this morning decided that I was no longer allowed to go. 1- I am 20 and 2- this has been planned a while ago I can't just cancel. I got angry about this and asked her to give me a valid reason and I would drop it. She claimed I had study to do because I was so busy with study yesterday (spent 5 hours studying). I don't see the logic but idk. She then drops on me that I am affecting her mental health. I was honestly floored by this statement and made me extremely upset. I then finished the argument by saying 'fine I'll leave and won't come back until the semester is over'. (1st of June for me). I think I went too far with that statement but I honestly think it's the best option for me at this point. I did not get to see my best friend at the end of it all.
So am I the asshole? I honestly have no clue at this point.
Thanks for reading! | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
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} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 2,
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CaKb0saKNWOL004R6WuYG1tz3kzTseXI | ahvaiu | {
"description": "thinking my ex and her family are really rude to not at least acknowledge my sympathy card and text to her mother about the loss of her grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 24
} | AITA for thinking my ex and her family are really rude to not at least acknowledge my sympathy card and text to her mother about the loss of her grandmother? | Context. Ex texted ME about the passing of her grandmother and wanted me to pray for her. we had been working on things up until 3 days prior. Argument, then blocked. I text her in the next 3 days, once a day to check up on her and see how she’s doing. Ignored. Finally on the 4th day she replies saying how she’s seeing someone and he gets mad when he sees my name pop up on the phone, she “feels like a bad person” keep in mind we’d been chatting about us less than two weeks prior. Anyway, I text her mother offering condolences. Ignored. I send another text a week later, ignored. I also bought a sympathy card and paid for it to be sent. Nothing. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 24,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 24
} | WRONG |
NhwLFN6j89cc6KwVwyL5G6jxXZJq6lr3 | b36we8 | {
"description": "not inviting my best friend and his new girlfriend to my birthday trip",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | WIBTA for not inviting my best friend and his new girlfriend to my birthday trip? | My best friend and his new girlfriend are excessively affectionate in public, so much so that many of our friends are uncomfortable with hanging out with them. One instance of their excessive PDA is when 9 of us were having brunch, and they were kissing (and really going at it) while we were waiting for food. In a smaller group, they are slightly more tolerable but still try and sneak in a few kisses when the rest of us aren't looking.
One of my other friends approached them about their PDA in public, and the girlfriend snapped back that it's not her fault that he doesn't know how to show affection to his girlfriend. I have brought the PDA issue up with my best friend casually, and he plays it off as not a big deal. I did not push the issue because he is well aware of the group's concern.
For my birthday in September, I want to go interstate with 2 other couples (not including them) for the weekend to celebrate. I don't really want them there. They would know about the trip, and they will probably be upset and think I'm the asshole for not inviting them. | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
XJ1VFpspTtML8XSOEcVuL7mrbONiEoFI | a05b1o | {
"description": "flipping shit on people for stealing my shit",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA For flipping shit on people for stealing my shit? | I am heavily involved in the music department in my school. I am a quad player. We have our own specific drum for the season, and we (the percussion section) came to an agreement that we can all store a few items we use day in and day out on our case for our drum.
Because I am also in a chamber ensemble, and in a Jazz ensemble, I put my guitar case on top of my quad case, then I put my hoodie, stickbag, and wrist braces on top of the guitar case. I have tendinitis and neuropathy in both wrists, and throughout half of the building, the climate control is broken so in the northeast during the winter you need to keep something with you.
Problem arose a few months ago where people would start taking my stuff and hiding it way up high or in someone elses stuff, or hanging it from a flagpole. The problem really escalated when someone literally stole both of my wrist braces and a $50 snapback that I was using for bandcamp those weeks. I have not gotten those items back. I replaced the wrist braces, and left my stuff. The bass player in the Jazz Ensemble then started stealing my cables and using them for marching band activities in the front ensemble, which with the cold and moisture, completely destroyed two of my Hosa 25ft instrument cables. Then last week, he stole my (new) wrist braces, and was wearing them on his sweaty ass stank ass fucking feet (just socks on) and while I was getting that shit sorted out, he got someone to take my macbook that I was using for arranging jazz pieces for other ensembles probably 20 seconds prior. I got extremely pissed off, and I began yelling and when someone told me to calm down and that it is a joke (that they were part of, with stealing my laptop) I decked him.
Everyone that was part of this thinks I am overreacting meanwhile I have lost $150+ in property (2 25ft inst. cables, 2 wrist braces -$60-, and a $50 snapback) and have not been able to leave any property of mine where I need to be able to access it. Am I the asshole for breaking after all of this shit? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
SwActrjl8wyMJIUSEzHfULFXYhv9n3uV | asnqoo | {
"description": "getting angry when GF is always stays late at work",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 6
} | AITA for getting angry when GF is always stays late at work | First of all, I love my girlfriend a lot and we are planning to get married soon. Her job starts at 9:00 and finishes at 18:00. However, she stays additional 2 to 3 hours at her work, meaning she will come home at 20:00 or 21:00. Eventhough, I know that she is not cheating on me, I just get grumpy when she stays late at work. Plus, even if she stays late the company will not pay her bonus salary. I always keep telling her to balance her work to life ratio, but she insists that if she doesn't stay late she will have more work later and says that she loves her work *(I don't think it is true).* | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 3
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 6
} | RIGHT |
DzJPy5Odnp0bmLDrSM9FGkxLlYCpro5t | b0cf85 | {
"description": "telling my ex that I don't care about her",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 4
} | AITA for telling my ex that I don't care about her? | Recently me and my now ex broke up because I found out she was cheating on me with multiple people. Since then she would call me and text me asking for me to forgive her and I would just ignore the calls/texts.
Well yesterday she stopped me at school and asked if I hated her. I said no (I was lying). She asked if we could talk. I said no again and went to walk away. She got in front of me again and asked why not. So I responded with, "I don't hate you because I don't care enough about you to hate you, nor do I care enough about you to give you the time of day. And just in case I am not being clear enough I care so little about you that you could get hit by a bus right in front of me and I would just keep walking."
This is again a lie, as I cared enough to come up with and practice this speech in my head in preparation to this inevitable confrontation. But all the same it felt amazing to say. My friends think I was too harsh though and should have just walked away and stayed quiet. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 4
} | RIGHT |
H1bh112oZzs80SQ7gXH33RIPNQlIXiaa | a05coh | {
"description": "making someone pay for cups this person used",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for making someone pay for cups this person used? | So guy comes into my store wanting to wash his hands. After he washed his hands I saw him drink from 3 different cups pouring each liquid out as well as leaving the cups there. So naturally I charged him for them. He used a service he pays for it. He grabbed gushers and I scan them all. I told him his total, he paid for it. Then asked why is it so high. So I called him out on it showing him the cups he left. "It had stuff in it!" I looked in obviously nothing in them obviously. He pulled the "cuz I'm *insert race here*" card. I told him to get out. He comes.
Back five minutes later requesting another receipt so I gave him another one has he uses racial terminology. And says "I'm coming back later you F'ing wet bag"...
So reddit... AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
cNYfI42pT2owp6bkQPfSizuBvnypKtlX | a1mibg | {
"description": "wanting to work by myself rather than with my special needs coworker",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For wanting to work by myself rather than with my special needs coworker | (Sorry for any formatting issues, im on mobile.) I work as a stock boy at a grocery store and about two months ago the store hired a special needs worker through a government program, let's call him Bryan. I was usually by myself on Saturday nights (3-10) but over the past two months or so I've worked every Saturday with Bryan. I do prefer working by myself and hold no hate towards him, but lately the Saturday manager has been placing us on different aisles to separate us because he understands where I'm coming from and agrees that I work better alone. Today at work, however, I heard from that manager that Bryan was going around telling people that I told him that I hated him because I never wanted to work with him. I absolutely never said that and my manager agrees with me. Apparely one of the other managers is "changing the way she thinks about me" because of this. I'm always nice towards Bryan and have never said anything to offend him. I treat him the same way I would treat anyone else I work with. So am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
FNCwYrJmW07ne4SF7IQQGfsU19lxf3EV | a9axzi | {
"description": "being mad about my husband and daughter going out to eat without me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 38
} | AITA for being mad about my husband and daughter going out to eat without me. | Earlier today, my 9 year old daughter wanted to go out with my husband to get some last minute gifts while I was told to stay home with the 2 year old. When I started to make dinner around the normal time, I asked my daughter what sounded good. She said she wasn’t hungry because they went out to eat while they were Christmas shopping. I was super pissed off because I have explicitly stated to my husband many times before that excluding me from things is the most hurtful thing to me. He thinks I am being petty by being mad about it. Not really as mad as I am deeply hurt by being excluded. AITA? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 38,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 38
} | WRONG |
ciozalMTH4YDImOkSVT1XUQUxG9W3w0x | a7josa | {
"description": "wanting my mom in the delivery room but telling my dad he can't be",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for wanting my mom in the delivery room but telling my dad he can’t be? | I am posting this on behalf of my wife who does not have her own account (I told her just to make one but she’s being an asshole about it) but feels conflicted in her decision.
I will paste her words below and deliver to her your judgement:
I am currently pregnant with the first grandchild in my family. My parents are both really excited but especially my dad.
He has always wanted a grandchild and has already bought, built, and offered more stuff for the baby than all the rest of the family combined.
Now he and my mom aren’t together anymore. And he is much more in my life than she is as she moved several hours away when she remarried.
My due date is just a few weeks away and he asked me who all would be in the delivery room. I told him just my husband, and my mom. He seemed kind of hurt by this to my surprise.
He asked me to consider letting him be in there too even if he stands off to the side. I told him I’d think about it but honestly I’m pretty uncomfortable with the idea of being exposed in front of him like that.
But I understand how hurt he might feel especially since I am letting my mom in. I’m considering not letting her in either just to eliminate that factor. But on the other hand I would like her in there for support and I don’t feel the same discomfort at the thought of her being in the room.
It’s compounded by the fact that he has been way more involved during the pregnancy than she has.
So, AITA for letting my mom witness the birth of my baby but not my dad? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
9ocr34xW6k8PorE7rqixpGdu2Lk6fUoI | 9zxsmy | {
"description": "throwing out my girlfriend's ancient pants that she insists on still wearing",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 18
} | WIBTA if I threw out my girlfriend's ancient pants that she insists on still wearing? | Girlfriend and I live together. We're in our late 20s. We both have decent jobs and affording pants isn't the issue here. She has other nice clothes.
In 2012 she bought some cheap plain black pants. Since then the elastic has disintegrated
and the material has faded. She still wears them every weekend!
I've brought it up many times but she won't budge.
WIBTA if I threw them out? I feel like it would be doing both of us a favour. How much longer can this go on? | HYPOTHETICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 18
} | WRONG |
dFMarWspZU8UBzF8iGLjP3KlUFcFwSLC | azq9ew | {
"description": "effectively ghosting her",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA For effectively ghosting her? | Timejump 6 months back and this girl I know straight up tells me she has loved me since the time we first met. I reply to her, 'that I just think of her as a friend....etc.' and I let her down quite maturely. A few months later she emails me (not sure how she got my email) and wishes me a happy birthday (again, not sure how she knew it was my birthday). At this point I felt it was a little stalkish, as I don't display any of this info on sm. A few days after that, she friends me on facebook (the day she creates an account). Due to the random birthday wish (I seriously don't know her that well) I decided to decline her request. Only last week, she sent me this longwinded email about how I've ditched her and how she's going to tell all my friends what a dropkick I am.
Is she the immature one, or am I? I'm only eighteen (as you can probably tell) and i'd rather not have confusing relationships such as the one described. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
47uDCKMAGGZNMlAmUl2bdHRwUY3rxQDi | aoau0g | {
"description": "deleting my fathers facebook page, after he passed less than 2 months ago",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
} | AITA for deleting my fathers Facebook page, after he passed less than 2 months ago.. | As the title says, am I the asshole?
I deleted his page, because I couldn’t stand to see the posts everyday... it hurt me too much. But everyone else used it to look at, I guess.. and are all asking why I did it?
| HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
} | NOBODY | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
} | RIGHT |
uiROs5iW36chc7Cg8RYyOtvLsTfBMiEq | ak2b5r | {
"description": "arguing with my mother",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for arguing with my mother? | So, I'm currently having a depressive episode in my life (not depressed, just ocassionaly catch the blues), due to stress, hormonal, college basically sucking my life out through a tube... you know, the usual.
It's been holding me for some time now, meaning I can't focus so much on studying (I am a procrastinator but during high school I procrastinated during the day, and studied at night, now, I can't do even that).
This morning, I woke up ready to study. I have an exam coming up on Tuesday, and it's from the only class I actually like and makes me happy that I started this faculty.
My sister comes to visit and leave my niece and nephew with mom so she could look after them while she goes to the hospital for whatever the reason was.
I start studying, full motivation, full concentration.
About 20 minutes later mom calls me to look after my nephew so she could start making lunch.
My sister said she'd come back about in about 40 minutes.
So I said to mom no, I'm studying. The child is a wild one. He can not be left unsupervised cause he makes a mess out of anything and everything. So I wouldn't be able to just take my book sit with him and occasionally glance what he's doing. No, full on observation so that he doesn't kill himself and everyone else in the house.
No response.
So, after about 15 minutes my sister comes back, and mom starts going around the house and I remember I wanted to explain to her something that she didn't quite understand and is regarding the field in which I'm studying. So I go out eager to explain it to her and she scoffs off at me, saying that I'm just looking out for my own ass when I said I couldn't come out to look after my nephew.
It kinda stung. I told her I was studying and she says I'm just looking for my own ass, even after she torments me every day to study...
After that I go back to my room, kinda crushed and definitely boiling inside. I stop studying due to zero motiviation, and just spend the next hour or so basically doing nothing. I tried, so many times to get myself to study but all the motivation I had just vanished.
She comes knocking on my door (they were locked) and asks me to go to the store. No big deal, I wasn't even doing anything productive so a walk might help out.
I go to the bathroom to get myself ready, put on some make up etc.
About half-way through, she knocks on the bathroom door and asks if I'm gonna come out soon. I bacially say 'kinda' meaning not immediately, but also not gonna take me another 15 minutes. I couldn't be precise cause I was doing my eyeliner so if I mess up I gotta start again.
She scoffs off at that again, and I kinda lose it.
Come out seconds later not caring if my left wing was lower than thw right and ask her had I ever dome anything or said anything that she approved of, liked, praised me for.
Sister tries to intervene but I just don't give a damn.
I tell her how I had to study and breaking my concentration meant I'd have to go through everything again cause I need to repeat and rehearse. Tell her how she killed my motiviation etc.
She scoffs off saying that I'm just a lazy brat who spends my evenings playing games (I sit around 9pm and spend my time in front of the PC till 11pm) and then wake up late in the morning (around 11am usually). Then I spend about two hours doing nothing (her words not mine) after which I THEN decide to study (she implied I had the audacity to study during tje day if I play games late at night, I'm translating and transcribing at the so I didn't know how to explain).
And I just sit there in front of the door dumbfounded. Like, what am I supposed to mother? Not study during the day so I can be open to your every bidding? I didn't know slaves were back in town. She goes sarcastically 'Yeah haven't you heard?'
To which I reply something along the lines 'Then go buy yourself one, cause you sure as hell didn't birth yourself one.'
She's ofc already pissed as hell, saying that I have no right to talk to her that way and that she wouldn't tolerate any of the shit I'm saying to her. That I should learn respect yada yada yada
I tell her that her issue with me is not lack of respect but rather that she doesn't like the fact that I don't give a damn about it when she's not giving me the same back and treating me like I'm less than her. That the problem she has with me is that I am gonna talk back and not just tolerate every shitty thing she throws at my way.
On the other hand,
She had to take care of an unruly toddler, a crying baby and a hormonal teen while she herself is going through some issues. I think she woke up with a headache but looked completely fine afterwards, we talked normally while we ate breakfast, before all this happened I had gone to use the bathroom and she asked me to hold the baby so she could also go to the bathroom and change her clothes, everything was fine up until she scoffed at me for studying and saying 'kinda'.
So Am I the asshole? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | EVERYBODY | {
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
} | WRONG |
XBnSVrR8x1CSe3TNqHm0YZoJ7LVe1FX8 | b26i7h | {
"description": "being mad my girlfriend still hasn't found a job",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 15
} | AITA for being mad my girlfriend still hasn’t found a job? | My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years and a year ago we moved in together. She’s from Finland and I from Sweden so we have been long distance for 2 years before moving in together we now live in my house I Sweden.
I currently support both of us since she still hasn’t found a job. She dropped out of university to move in with me in Sweden. I’m tired of being the only provider and I am annoyed that she hasn’t managed to get a job yet!! She says that she always get a no from the companies and claims it’s probably cause of the language issue? We practice Swedish together and she is currently in a language school learning as well. She claims that it’s hard to find a job cause she’s at a disadvantage to people who speak Swedish fluently? I guess that’s true but if she just worked harder on learning the language it wouldn’t be an issue? She also claims that moving away form her family to a country where she only knows me and my family has been a major anxiety for her and she had a hard time getting comfortable here, makes sense but shouldn’t take that long to get over it.
Now she’s thinking about going back to school (online) to improve her chances of getting a job but that won’t bring in money enough to provide as much as I do? So what’s the point? - I want her to stop being lazy and using excuses. She says she wanna find a job and that she’s tired of being home alone but I don’t believe that.
TDLR: girlfriend has moved in with me a year ago (different country) and I am annoyed she hasn’t found a job yet and she keeps complaining about it. | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 15
} | WRONG |
ZFLBFmcNGvBb2Uaz2PPswsxO3MpKB4eP | ai88ja | {
"description": "telling my bf his sister is not allowed at my b-day party",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
} | AITA for telling my bf his sister is not allowed at my b-day party? | Sorry for long read, TLDR at bottom.
​
Backstory: To say that my bf F and his sister is close is an understatement. They are always talking/texting, and he's always talking about her. I had thought this was a positive quality, b/c I appreciate partners who are family-oriented, but I feel like K and his sister go overboard.
​
For example they text each other quite peculiarly. Online when they post new photos on Instagram and Facebook they will comment on each other's pictures saying, "wow, looking hot/gorgeous here!" or something to that extent. Also, when they end conversations they will text each other something like "g2g, I love you ❤". I am an only child so I am not sure if this is common but I've never observed anything like this with my friends that have siblings. I have made a comment about it in the past saying "Wow, you and your sister are really close!" F responds, "ya, we've been through a lot!" So I just dismissed it.
​
But this all kind of got to me a month ago after F's Sis moved into town to look for work (she just graduated after studying abroad). She is constantly hanging out with us - I don't mind hanging out with family, I understand Sis doesn't have any local friends, and of course I want to get to know her more. But I don't like how she will comment on F and I's relationship or gets oddly defensive about him. An example is that when I ordered takeout for F, she jumped in and said, "don't order that, F doesn't like that. Do you even know him?". Or the other day when we watched Avengers and when Thor came on the screen, she said, "You better not cheat on my brother for someone like Chris Hemsworth!" ???? These are a few examples and there are other times she has made these comments and behaved this way.
​
I think one of the things that did me in was when we were hanging out with mutual friends playing board games. Me and Sis were sitting on the ground by the board game coffee table and by F. Suddenly out of nowhere F starts giving Sis a back massage. There was a girl at the hang out that was friends of a friend, and she had commented "Aww, you two are really cute! I wish my bf gave me massages!" At this point F says, "Oh, she's my sister!" I cringed at this and I felt super embarrassed. The girl says "oh, you're a really good brother then!" And everyone dismissed it (but me in my head) and that was the end of the interaction.
​
My birthday is coming up and I asked F if he could not take Sis to my birthday party. I skirted around it at first when he asked why and F ends up telling me that Sis has no reason not to go, and besides, all our mutual friends like her and she will feel left out if she doesn't come. I tell him it's my birthday, I can invite who ever I want. F responds, "well, you tell her that she's not invited then if it's that important to you."
​
This is the point I tell F that his relationship with Sis is weird. F asks me what I'm talking about and asks me to prove it. So I ask him for his phone, as I want to start by showing him the way he texts her. I'm scrolling through the messages for examples when they tell each other I love you and I see that he texted her about a small unrelated argument we had. She texts something like "you can find someone better" and that really pissed me off. Of course it's normal to tell siblings about relationship problems I guess but I'm offended by her saying he should break up with me on top of other compounding reasons. I blow up on him and tell him about the "I love yous", the weird compliments online, their weird "too close" behavior (like giving her a random massage around friends), and the way she patronizes me. F gets really mad at this point and tells me that if his Sis isn't going, then he isn't either. He doesn't get what I'm trying to say about him and his sister, he loves her and cares for her it's normal for them.
​
Am I the asshole for thinking this way, and not inviting my bf's sister to my party? I feel like I am, I feel like I fucked up badly but I really can't shake off the feeling of me being uncomfortable my bf and his sister being too close, am I just jealous and in over my head about this?
​
Let me know and give me your criticisms.
​
**TLDR: I felt like my bf and his sister are too close, didn't want her at my b-day party, pretty much insinuated incest between them when I was at my worst and now everyone thinks I'm an asshole.** | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
} | RIGHT |
5pI40R9Y9bMwVJdx3G7c9WNDpgeKrAaR | aiefng | {
"description": "saving a old sex video with an ex and lying about it to my bf",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 11
} | AITA for saving a old sex video with an ex and lying about it to my bf | Current bf found a sex tape of me with an ex accidentally. I told him I deleted it which I didnt. This weekend was our anniversary and he got black out drunk and said horrible things which I think I deserve. I dont know why I saved it and I swear I havent watched while I've been with him | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | AUTHOR | {
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 11
} | WRONG |
L0A6mYjsU7jA0eldL8ac6iRECJg827WR | 9vxr9a | {
"description": "not letting the Intel Rep at best Buy take a picture of me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for not letting the Intel Rep at Best Buy take a picture of me | So apparently the thing now at Best Buy is that they have 3rd party reps roaming the store wanting to demo their products to you. This Intel rep was showing me computers with Intel inside of them and finally later on, after he left I picked out a computer. Then he wanted to take a picture of me, him and the computer together for his 'report'. I didn't really want to do that. Is that the only evidence they have I bought it with a little bit of his help? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
gtJDo0mrh1fEtSQ0KrimNr8M1Wb2CM9W | a8qxcx | {
"description": "blocking my roommate's family on my phone",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
} | AITA for blocking my roommate's family on my phone? | So I've been friends with this person Lyndsey for a couple of years now. I've been roommates with her, and have been a combination of mom and nursemaid- I've woken her up in time for classes, advised her on her truly terrible dating choices, listened and sympathised whenever necessary etc.
She's highly irresponsible, and constantly makes her parents worry (they live far away and she's their only child). She never picks up their phone calls, and they ineveitably call me to ask her whereabouts and how she's doing, and to go find her and give her the phone to talk to her.
I didn't really mind in the beginning. But this reached a point where they used to disturb me when I'm studying, or sleeping, early in the morning. They handed out my number to her grandparents as well, and now i started getting calls from multiple people. I tried being polite about it and telling her that this isn't working.
Still, there was no change in her habits of being unreachable all the time. Finally I ended up blocking all their numbers and telling her to grow up.
She then went to another mutual friend of ours, Jess, and asked if she can give Jess' phone number to her parents, as I'm no longer available.
I cautioned Jess that she's now going to be pestered with calls all the time, and will have to be a live location tracker of Lyndsey's. Unfortunately, my roommate heard this and walked away. Later I found out that she called me a real bitch for insulting her parents.
Aita here? Should i try fixing things? | HISTORICAL | {
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
} | OTHER | {
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
} | RIGHT |
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