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either , '' he murmurs . | [
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`` this is going to sting , '' i warn him , as i pat the gashes on his hands with the soaked gauze . | [
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he hisses slightly as the liquid stings him , but does n't move . | [
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i slide my other hand under his , to stabilize it as i cleanse the wound of dirt . | [
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i 've never touched him this long before . | [
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`` other hand . '' | [
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he switches hands and i go to work cleaning the other one . | [
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`` maybe you should take a little time off from training , '' i suggest quietly . | [
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`` or i could just work out my leg muscles , '' he says , and i look up to see a wry grin on his face . | [
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`` mmm , '' i murmur , smiling too . | [
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`` you know , '' i go on , a bit more bravely , `` i heard that only one varsity athlete got a lawn room , because sports are such a time commitment , much less a two-sport athlete- '' `` do n't do that , '' he grunts . | [
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`` i do n't want your pity . '' | [
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`` it 's not pity , it 's facts . '' | [
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`` i was born with everything , i have no excuse for not achieving my all of goals . '' | [
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`` where did you hear that ? | [
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it sounds like- '' i break off , feeling him stiffen under my touch . | [
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i was going to say his father but i can tell he does n't want me to go there . | [
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`` you 're just really hard on yourself , that 's all , '' i say instead . | [
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i gently dab some neosporin onto the cuts . | [
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`` i know what everyone sees when they look at me , '' he replies quietly . | [
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`` entitled ... born with a silver spoon in my mouth ... i work as hard as i do so that no one can say i succeed because of my family 's wealth . '' | [
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i frown . | [
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that 's half of the equation i think , but it seems like he does n't see how hard his father pushes him . | [
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`` i got a little bit of that at work the other day , '' i say , wondering if it 's ok to broach the topic of the internship he wanted . | [
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i take a dry piece of gauze and cover his palm with it before picking up the tape and beginning to wrap it around his hand . | [
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`` when they found out i was pierce 's stepdaughter , i mean . | [
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] |
feels weird . '' | [
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`` your first experience of nepotism ? '' | [
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`` yeah , '' i say with a smile . | [
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`` actually , my mom once got me a part-time job as the receptionist at the salon where she used to work , so i guess that 's not true . '' | [
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`` where does your dad work ? '' | [
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`` no idea . | [
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probably a repair shop somewhere . | [
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he 's a mechanic , or he was . | [
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last time we heard from him was several years ago . | [
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he was in florida then , but he never stays in one place very long . '' | [
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`` so you 're the first in your family to go to college , '' he observes , as i finish taping one hand and move to the other . | [
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`` yep . '' | [
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`` is that why you 're so serious ? '' | [
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`` am i ? '' | [
101,
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1005,
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102
] | [
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i ask , my eyes moving up to his . | [
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1012,
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] | [
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] |
`` serious is n't the right word ... distant , maybe . '' | [
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`` distant ? | [
101,
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1029,
102
] | [
0,
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0
] | [
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] |
that 's worse , '' i reply , feeling a little hurt . | [
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`` i did n't mean to insult you . | [
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] |
i 'm just trying to figure you out . | [
101,
1045,
1005,
1049,
2074,
2667,
2000,
3275,
2017,
2041,
1012,
102
] | [
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] |
we were really in class together ? | [
101,
2057,
2020,
2428,
1999,
2465,
2362,
1029,
102
] | [
0,
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] |
which one ? '' | [
101,
2029,
2028,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
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] | [
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] |
`` there were three . | [
101,
1036,
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2045,
2020,
2093,
1012,
102
] | [
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0
] | [
1,
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] |
the first was this american history survey class freshman year . '' | [
101,
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] |
`` professor michaels ? '' | [
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2934,
17784,
1029,
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102
] | [
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`` yeah . | [
101,
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1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
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] |
i always sat behind you , though . | [
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i 'm not surprised you did n't see me , '' i say , pressing down slightly as i finish wrapping his hands . | [
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] |
`` i am , '' he replies . | [
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2572,
1010,
1005,
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14054,
1012,
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] | [
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] |
i glance up sharply , but his eyes are n't focused on my face . | [
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they 're looking at my body , which i now realize is quite exposed in my thin , white cotton nightie . | [
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i completely forgot i was wearing it . | [
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there 's a moment of silence , and i suddenly become very aware of every inch of myself , and every inch of him . | [
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] |
his smell of sweat , beads of it still dripping forward down his chest , through a smattering of hair between his nipples . | [
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1,
1,
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1,
1,
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] |
allison 's face appears in my mind , and i 'm reminded of what she said . | [
101,
10786,
1005,
1055,
2227,
3544,
1999,
2026,
2568,
1010,
1998,
1045,
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1049,
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1,
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1,
1,
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1,
1
] |
`` i 'm done . '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
1045,
1005,
1049,
2589,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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0,
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0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` what ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2054,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
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1,
1,
1,
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1
] |
he says , his eyes pulling up to mine . | [
101,
2002,
2758,
1010,
2010,
2159,
4815,
2039,
2000,
3067,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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0,
0,
0,
0,
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0,
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] | [
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1,
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1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` with your hands . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2007,
2115,
2398,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i 'm done . '' | [
101,
1045,
1005,
1049,
2589,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
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0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
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1,
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] |
`` right . '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2157,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
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0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
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1,
1,
1
] |
i grab a glass from the cabinet and pour him some water from the faucet . | [
101,
1045,
6723,
1037,
3221,
2013,
1996,
5239,
1998,
10364,
2032,
2070,
2300,
2013,
1996,
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2102,
1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
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1,
1,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` here , you felt dizzy because you 're dehydrated . '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2182,
1010,
2017,
2371,
14849,
2138,
2017,
1005,
2128,
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1012,
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] | [
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1
] |
`` thanks , '' he says . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
4283,
1010,
1005,
1005,
2002,
2758,
1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
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] |
he reaches for the glass with his left hand , which is closer , and then pauses and takes it awkwardly with his right . | [
101,
2002,
6561,
2005,
1996,
3221,
2007,
2010,
2187,
2192,
1010,
2029,
2003,
3553,
1010,
1998,
2059,
19623,
1998,
3138,
2009,
18822,
2007,
2010,
2157,
1012,
102
] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` what was that ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2054,
2001,
2008,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
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0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i ask , frowning . | [
101,
1045,
3198,
1010,
14587,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` what ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2054,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
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1,
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] |
`` let me see your left arm , '' i reply , reaching for him , but he pulls back . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2292,
2033,
2156,
2115,
2187,
2849,
1010,
1005,
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1045,
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1010,
2021,
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] | [
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` no , no , it 's nothing . '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2053,
1010,
2053,
1010,
2009,
1005,
1055,
2498,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` what is ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2054,
2003,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` my shoulder . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2026,
3244,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
it 's just a little tendonitis . '' | [
101,
2009,
1005,
1055,
2074,
1037,
2210,
7166,
10698,
7315,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
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0,
0,
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0,
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0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` oh really ? | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2821,
2428,
1029,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
did a doctor tell you that ? '' | [
101,
2106,
1037,
3460,
2425,
2017,
2008,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
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0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` not exactly . '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2025,
3599,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` webmd ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
4773,
26876,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i ask , raising my eyebrows . | [
101,
1045,
3198,
1010,
6274,
2026,
8407,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
he shrugs , then winces . | [
101,
2002,
23822,
1010,
2059,
29585,
2015,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` you need to take better care of yourself . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2017,
2342,
2000,
2202,
2488,
2729,
1997,
4426,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
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0,
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0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
you ca n't keep pushing yourself so hard . '' | [
101,
2017,
6187,
1050,
1005,
1056,
2562,
6183,
4426,
2061,
2524,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
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1,
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1,
1
] |
he frowns , and does n't respond . | [
101,
2002,
29303,
1010,
1998,
2515,
1050,
1005,
1056,
6869,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` well , at least take some tylenol for the pain , '' i add as i pour two pills into my hand and begin to repack the first aid kit with the other . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2092,
1010,
2012,
2560,
2202,
2070,
5939,
7770,
4747,
2005,
1996,
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1010,
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1005,
1045,
5587,
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1045,
10364,
2048,
15345,
2046,
2026,
2192,
1998,
4088,
2000,
16360,
8684,
1996,
2034,
4681,
8934,
2007,
1996,
20... | [
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` that 's ok. '' i tilt my head at him . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2008,
1005,
1055,
7929,
1012,
1005,
1005,
1045,
17010,
2026,
2132,
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2032,
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102
] | [
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1,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` pain is n't going to make you heal any faster , '' i point out . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
3255,
2003,
1050,
1005,
1056,
2183,
2000,
2191,
2017,
11005,
2151,
5514,
1010,
1005,
1005,
1045,
2391,
2041,
1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` fine , '' he says with a little smile . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2986,
1010,
1005,
1005,
2002,
2758,
2007,
1037,
2210,
2868,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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0,
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] | [
1,
1,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i blush as his fingertips scrape my palm as he takes the pills . | [
101,
1045,
16688,
2004,
2010,
12206,
26988,
2026,
5340,
2004,
2002,
3138,
1996,
15345,
1012,
102
] | [
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0,
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` well . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2092,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i think i 'm going back to bed . | [
101,
1045,
2228,
1045,
1005,
1049,
2183,
2067,
2000,
2793,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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0,
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0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i 'm supposed to check out some of the smithsonian museums later , so ... '' i trail off , feeling awkward now . | [
101,
1045,
1005,
1049,
4011,
2000,
4638,
2041,
2070,
1997,
1996,
15720,
9941,
2101,
1010,
2061,
1012,
1012,
1012,
1005,
1005,
1045,
4446,
2125,
1010,
3110,
9596,
2085,
1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` ok , see you later , '' he says , turning toward the back door . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
7929,
1010,
2156,
2017,
2101,
1010,
1005,
1005,
2002,
2758,
1010,
3810,
2646,
1996,
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2341,
1012,
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1,
1,
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1,
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1
] |
i pause for a moment , then head back toward the staircase . | [
101,
1045,
8724,
2005,
1037,
2617,
1010,
2059,
2132,
2067,
2646,
1996,
10714,
1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
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1,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
just like that , the one real conversation that my stepbrother and i have ever had is over . | [
101,
2074,
2066,
2008,
1010,
1996,
2028,
2613,
4512,
2008,
2026,
3357,
12618,
12399,
1998,
1045,
2031,
2412,
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2003,
2058,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i could practically feel him closing back up at the end there . | [
101,
1045,
2071,
8134,
2514,
2032,
5494,
2067,
2039,
2012,
1996,
2203,
2045,
1012,
102
] | [
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] | [
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] |