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we 're like , ten years old , playing lacrosse on our school team , and coach was constantly having to pull him back during practice 'cause he was always going full out , full contact . '' | [
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he and i laugh together . | [
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i notice nate pause in his stroke , but i ca n't imagine he can hear us . | [
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`` do you still play lacrosse ? '' | [
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`` naw , i do n't really have the discipline to keep up with it . | [
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i was good in high school , but you have to be great to cut it in college . | [
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what sport do you play ? '' | [
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`` oh , none . '' | [
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`` really ? | [
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you look like you 're so in shape . '' | [
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`` oh , thanks , '' i reply , managing to only blush a bit . | [
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from anyone else it would have seemed like a ham-fisted compliment , but jackson has such a natural , easygoing way about him . | [
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`` you going to this party in georgetown tonight ? '' | [
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he asks , dunking his head briefly underneath the water , then shaking off his hair like a dog . | [
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`` what party ? '' | [
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`` oh , i figured nate told you . '' | [
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`` told her what ? '' | [
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nate asks , appearing next to him . | [
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`` 'bout chris 's party , '' jackson replies nonchalantly . | [
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nate 's jaw muscles twitch . | [
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`` had n't mentioned it , '' he replies shortly . | [
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`` well , you should come , '' jackson says , turning back to me . | [
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`` she 's not going to know anyone , and i think it 's just gon na be a small thing , '' nate says . | [
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`` dude , chris said to invite anyone . | [
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they 've got the whole townhouse . | [
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it 's gon na be great . '' | [
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`` i just- '' nate begins , as i bite my lip . | [
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here i thought we were maybe getting along better , despite the awkwardness , and now he 's going out of his way to exclude me . | [
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`` if you 're worried about being a third wheel , just invite dana or someone , '' jackson says , though even when he 's arguing , he does n't seem to have a care in the world . | [
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`` so , what do you think ? '' | [
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he asks me . | [
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`` sounds great , actually , '' i say , glancing at nate , feeling a bit gratified as he glares at me . | [
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it feels good to spite him a little , since he so clearly does n't want me to go . | [
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`` awesome . | [
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tonight then . | [
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we can go together-i 'll pick you guys up around ten , '' jackson says , before jumping on top of nate and trying to wrestle him under the water . | [
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i close my eyes as they disappear . | [
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for the first time in a while , i wish i had something cute to wear . | [
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chapter ten in the end , i have to go with the same black top i wore to that crew party . | [
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it 's really my only top suitable for a party , i think . | [
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besides , nate 's the only one who 's seen me in it , and i doubt he remembers . | [
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my mom excitedly waves goodbye as nate and i walk out to jackson 's green suv . | [
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she is so thrilled that i might have a social life that it 's embarrassing . | [
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jackson opens up the front passenger door for me and nate slides in back . | [
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`` we picking up dana ? '' | [
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jackson asks as we pull away . | [
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`` it 's natasha tonight . | [
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and she 's meeting us there , '' nate answers from the back seat . | [
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i guess i 'm relieved , because i do n't think i could look dana in the eye after seeing her and nate having sex by the pool . | [
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`` oh , fuck , natasha , of course , '' jackson says , laughing and hitting the steering wheel . | [
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i frown a little . | [
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i guess it 's par for the course for my stepbrother . | [
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jackson picks up most of the slack in the conversation , and the radio does the rest . | [
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i 'm too nervous and stuck in my head , thinking of what i should say , while nate mumbles one word responses from the back . | [
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i 'm relieved when we find a parking space on the street near the party . | [
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as we walk toward the riotous townhouse , i 'm surprised the neighbors have n't already called the cops . | [
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people are spilling out the front door and i can hear the music halfway down the block . | [
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there 's a pretty olive-skinned girl standing on the curb who turns her head as nate calls out , `` natasha ! '' | [
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she smiles coyly as we walk up . | [
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nate dips her in a jokingly romantic manner and plants a kiss on her lips as she breaks out into giggles . | [
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`` come on , '' jackson says , draping an arm around my shoulders protectively and escorting me inside . | [
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he high-fives a few guys as we walk in , and he guides me to a keg in the middle of the living room , which is strung with little white christmas lights . | [
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there 's an impenetrable crowd around it but somehow he manages to snag me a beer , and before i know it i 'm taking my first sip of the summer . | [
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with his hand on the small of my back , we walk into the next room . | [
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the dining room table is being used for a beer pong game , and jackson and i take a seat on a couch nearby . | [
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`` you 're gorgeous , you know that ? '' | [
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jackson whispers in my ear . | [
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i 'm startled and almost spit out my beer . | [
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`` no ... '' i look down , blushing , `` i mean , that 's sweet of you to say . '' | [
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`` i 'd love to see you again after tonight . | [
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maybe we could get dinner next weekend , '' he offers . | [
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`` oh , sure , '' i reply , feeling flattered . | [
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i mean , it does feel a little ... rushed , or something , but i 've heard so many stories about guys just wanting to hook up , that it 's refreshing to be asked out on an old-fashioned date . | [
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i take a few more sips of my beer as i look around , feeling more comfortable now that i know jackson is really into me . | [
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`` hey , i 'm going to get another beer , '' i tell jackson , as i drain mine . | [
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he jumps up . | [
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`` do n't worry about it . | [
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i 'll grab 'em , '' he says , walking confidently into the other room . | [
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i watch the ping pong ball as it 's thrown back and forth across the table , and jackson is soon back with the beers . | [
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he launches into a story about this crazy party he went to back at school , but out of the corner of my eye i notice a couple walking up the stairs at the rear of the room , their hands all over each other , and feel a stab of envy in my chest . | [
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i am beyond tired of being a virgin . | [
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it 's certainly not on purpose that i 'm twenty-one and still have n't had sex yet . | [
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i guess i just assumed it would happen somehow , without my ever putting any thought into it , and i 've never built it up like it 's going to be some crazy special thing , either . | [
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i look at jackson out of the corner of my eye as i make quick work of my second beer . | [
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maybe nate was right-maybe i am too serious and distant . | [
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maybe it would be better if i just got it out of the way . | [
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and i bet jackson would be good at it . | [
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really , really good at it . | [
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plus , he 's a decent guy . | [
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`` ... do n't you think ? '' | [
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jackson asks me , leaning in . | [
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`` yes , right , '' i reply , even though i spaced out and have no idea what he was talking about . | [
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my hair falls in front of my face as i take another sip of beer , and jackson reaches up and tucks it behind my ear . | [
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we make eye contact and he leans forward slowly , brushing a soft kiss across my neck . | [
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`` want to get out of here ? '' | [
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he murmurs into my ear , sending a little shiver down my spine . | [
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`` my place is pretty close by , and we 'll actually be able to hear ourselves think . '' | [
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`` um , yeah , that sounds good , '' i reply , a little nervously . | [
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jackson stands and offers me his hand . | [
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i place mine in his and he leads me out toward the front . | [
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