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michaelginn
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bert_data_tokenized

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i climb the steps and shut my bedroom door behind me .
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i feel more confused now than ever about our relationship .
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i did n't think it could get any weirder after that peep show i gave him , but somehow this candid glimpse of him makes things even more complicated .
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i close my eyes and try to fall back to sleep , but when my alarm goes off at ten , i 'm still wide awake .
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chapter nine the humidity is really starting to thicken by the middle of june , and it 's a wonder that i have n't taken advantage of our pool yet .
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the only swimsuit i have is an old athletic one-piece , and i pull it on reluctantly in my bedroom .
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my mom keeps asking me if i want to go shopping , but i have n't taken her up on it yet .
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all her new clothes look wonderful but i think i 'd feel uncomfortable spending so much money on myself .
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i head down the hallway and almost bump into nate as he leaves his bedroom .
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i reflexively cross my hands over my chest , even though i know he 's seen me in less .
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`` hey , '' i say .
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`` hey , '' he replies .
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it 's the same conversation we 've had ever since i saw him in the kitchen that morning .
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we quickly slipped into polite , but formal , interactions with each other afterward .
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if i had to choose between this and the mind games we started out with , i might choose the mind games .
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the doorbell rings and i start to move past him to answer it .
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`` it 's ok i 'll get it .
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it 's my friend jackson . ''
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he walks down the hallway toward the stairs .
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i follow after him , and turn toward the backyard once we 're in the foyer .
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i hear his friend walk in just as i exit the french doors .
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there 's a chest set against the house with the outdoor towels in it , so i grab one and set it on a chair .
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the area around the pool it is paved with light stones before it turns into grass , and lounge chairs and a table with an umbrella are carefully set around it .
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i turn to the pool and step gingerly onto the first step in the shallow end .
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it 's nice-warm , but still refreshing in the hot summer day .
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i step down the rest of the way until the water circles around my stomach , and then dive forward .
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i swim to the other end , where the water gets darker and deeper , then push off and glide onto my back .
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i open my eyes as i push the water past me with my hands and look up toward the house rising against the sun on my left .
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a flash of movement in the second floor window grabs my attention .
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there 's a figure moving there , pulling a curtain aside .
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at first i think it 's nate-it 's his room , i think-but then i catch a glimpse of blonde hair .
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must be his friend jackson .
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i turn onto my stomach and dive back under the water .
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i want nate to be the one watching me .
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i was never much into sports , but i 've always wondered if i 'd be any good at them .
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i push harder for the last couple laps and finally pull my head up at the shallow end , gasping for breath .
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i take the steps back out of the pool and walk around to my towel and dry off my hair , then drape it onto the chair and lay down on it .
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i can feel the suit clinging to my torso , and water sitting in my belly button .
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i hear the door to the house open behind me and shield my eyes from the sun as i turn around to see who it is .
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jackson bounds out of the door , his face spread in a genial grin .
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`` hey , you must be brynn .
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i 'm jackson , one of nate 's oldest friends . ''
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`` nice to meet you , '' i say as we shake hands .
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i notice nate lagging behind , standing just outside the door and looking reluctant to put another foot toward the pool .
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`` come on , man , let 's get in .
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i 've been dreaming about this pool for days . ''
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`` we should n't bother her , she likes to be alone , '' nate says reluctantly .
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jackson pulls off his shirt , and i look down at my interlaced fingers in my lap .
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he 's got a great body .
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maybe not as good as nate 's , but whose is ?
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jackson kicks off his flip-flops and jumps in , his splash narrowly missing me .
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nate slowly walks toward the chair furthest from me , and takes off his shirt .
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i watch his back muscles tense as he lifts it off his head .
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`` nate and i grew up playing lacrosse together , '' jackson says , swimming to the edge of the pool and leaning his elbows onto the deck in front of me .
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`` hm ?
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oh , '' i reply , as nate dives in the deep end .
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`` so you guys go to school together ? ''
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`` yup .
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uva-i mean , of course you knew that . ''
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`` which sorority are you in ? ''
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he asks , pushing his wet hair out of his eyes .
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`` i 'm not .
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it 's expensive , and i 'm already pretty busy with work .
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um , where do you go ? ''
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nate pops up next to jackson .
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they make quite a pair , nate with his dark eyes and jackson with his light blonde locks .
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`` you wan na get some food now ? ''
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nate asks .
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`` dude we just got here .
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besides , you 're not supposed to eat for thirty minutes after you swim . ''
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`` before , '' nate and i both chime in .
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we glance at each other as he continues .
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`` you 're not supposed to eat for thirty minutes before .
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why would n't it be ok to eat after you swim ? ''
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`` i dunno , '' jackson replies , flashing me a blindingly white smile .
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`` just thought that was the rule . ''
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i find myself smiling back at him .
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he has a boyish charm that 's infectious .
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`` i 'm pretty sure that 's a myth adults made up so they 'd have time to eat their own lunch without the kids swimming unsupervised . ''
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i smile .
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`` ah that makes more sense .
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you grow up around here ? ''
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he asks me .
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`` yeah , on the eastern shore . ''
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`` oh , sweet .
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my family has a vacation house there .
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i love going out there .
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sailing in the bay and everything .
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you go sailing a lot ? ''
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`` um , not really , '' i reply .
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nate kicks off the wall and begins to swim back and forth behind jackson .
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i guess he 's decided not to take it easy on his injured shoulder .
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`` we should go some time .
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maybe not with him , '' he replies , nodding behind him .
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`` too competitive . ''
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`` he is , is n't he ? ''
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it feels nice to be able to talk about nate with someone who knows him .
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and who will gossip .
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`` was he always like that ? ''
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`` oh man , always .
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