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they 're just conquests to him . '' | [
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i cross my arms and frown at him . | [
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`` that sounds pretty hypocritical . | [
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i mean , the first time we met , you asked me to have a threesome with you and you did n't even know my name . '' | [
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a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth . | [
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`` ok , that 's fair . | [
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for the record , you just looked so shocked , and innocent-i could n't resist . | [
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you 're right , it 's not like i have a great track record either . | [
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i guess the difference , in my mind , is that i 'm upfront about it . | [
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i 've never promised a woman a relationship . | [
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the girls i sleep with , they know that it 's not going anywhere because i tell them that . | [
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jackson pulls them in by promising them a future with him , and then as soon as he sleeps with them , he acts like they do n't exist . '' | [
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`` but you 're friends with him ... '' i point out . | [
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`` well , he 's a good friend . | [
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loyal , funny ... '' `` but he sounds like a bad person . | [
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i just ... | [
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i do n't know why you 'd want to be friends with a person like that . | [
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sorry , maybe i 'm just ... '' i shake my head , trying to process this new version of events . | [
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`` he did ... what you just said about him does match up with some things he was saying to me . | [
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god , i ca n't believe i fell for it . '' | [
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`` he was n't always like that , '' nate says quietly , gesturing vaguely to a framed photo sitting on his desk . | [
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i glance at it , then walk over to get a closer look . | [
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`` oh my god , is that you ? '' | [
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i ask , picking it up . | [
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it 's a class photo from elementary school , three rows of smiling kids with their teacher standing next to them . | [
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nate is easy to spot . | [
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`` you look so serious , like you 're on the way to the office or something . '' | [
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nate peers over my shoulder at it , his face an exact reflection of his younger self . | [
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`` that was the year my mom left , '' he says quietly . | [
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`` oh . | [
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oh , i 'm sorry . | [
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do you ever see her ? '' | [
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`` no . | [
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she made her choice . '' | [
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he pauses for a moment . | [
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`` that one 's jackson , '' he says , pointing out a grinning towheaded boy . | [
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i snort . | [
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he had a flirtatious smile even back then . | [
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`` i 'm sorry you heard me say those things . | [
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jackson 's the kind of guy who , if you tell him something 's off limits , that makes him want it even more . | [
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he 's never been denied anything . | [
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so i thought it would be better to convince him that he did n't want you in the first place . '' | [
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i fiddle with the edge of the frame and then turn to face him . | [
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he 's standing closer than i thought he was . | [
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`` so ... you do n't think those things about me ? '' | [
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i whisper , feeling suddenly vulnerable . | [
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`` no , the exact opposite , really , '' he replies , equally softly . | [
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`` brynn you are gorgeous . '' | [
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there 's a charged moment between us . | [
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i ca n't rip my gaze away from his eyes . | [
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i realize he 's moving forward ever so slowly , and my lips automatically part , my body taking over from my brain . | [
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every inch of my skin tingles , and i suddenly feel brave-a completely different reaction than anything i 've ever felt being this close to jackson . | [
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just before his mouth touches mine , i close my eyes . | [
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as our lips come together , an exquisite feeling rushes through me , unlike anything i 've ever felt before . | [
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his lips graze mine , then return a bit more firmly , guiding me into a kiss . | [
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i 've been kissed by a handful of guys over the years , but this kiss is something else . | [
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nate is something else . | [
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his hands wrap around my waist and slide to the small of my back as his lips crush against mine . | [
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all my thoughts evaporate , all my worries and insecurities-maybe it 's that i can tell he knows exactly what he 's doing , and so i can let myself go , trust myself in his hands . | [
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he nudges me slightly with his nose and his lower lip brushes against mine . | [
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i almost gasp as i feel his tongue move smoothly into my mouth . | [
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electricity flies straight from my mouth to the base of my hips . | [
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i press my tongue against his as my hands move of their own accord up to his chest . | [
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i lay my palms against his pecs and feel his racing heartbeat under his rapidly rising and falling chest . | [
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it 's my first hint that there 's something else hiding under his completely confident exterior . | [
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his tongue moves deeper into my mouth , and his hands pull me close against his body . | [
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i wrap my arms around his neck and run my fingers through the hair falling onto the collar of his polo . | [
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i can feel his erection pushing against my stomach as he slides one hand over my ass . | [
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i want nothing more than to rip my clothes off , jump on his bed , and be ravaged by him ... to feel his mouth all over my body ... inside me ... | [
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suddenly he pulls away . | [
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i almost fall forward in surprise as my eyes blink open . | [
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`` i should n't have done that , '' he mutters . | [
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`` why ? '' | [
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i whisper , falling quickly from my cloud . | [
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`` it 's wrong ... you 're my stepsister . | [
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maybe it 's best if we just keep our distance from each other . '' | [
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`` yeah , you 're right ... '' i reply , feeling like he 's just slapped me in the face . | [
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i walk quickly to the door . | [
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i pause before i open it , wishing i could put into words what i 'm feeling , but i ca n't . | [
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i open the door and close it softly behind me before rushing to my room . | [
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as i curl up under the covers , i try to wrap my mind around all the twists this night has taken . | [
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i ca n't believe nate and i just kissed . | [
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i mean , i 've been dreaming about that moment since i first laid eyes on him freshman year . | [
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i 've found that most things in life do n't live up to how i 've built them up in my head , but that kiss far surpassed any fantasy . | [
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i can feel my body reacting at just the thought of his lips touching mine again . | [
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but is he right ? | [
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was it wrong of us to do that ? | [
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light is creeping around the sides of my shades by the time i manage to fall asleep , and i still have n't managed to find an answer . | [
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chapter twelve nate and i pass the next few weeks as though we 're each surrounded by an invisible force field . | [
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whenever one of us enters a room , the other is propelled out of it . | [
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we 're only pushed into close proximity with each other when we have a family dinner , though my mom has been pushing those on us quite frequently in an effort to bond . | [
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if she only knew . | [
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today , though , nate 's and my presence is required at the same event : the thornhill 's annual fourth of july party . | [
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it 's in our very own backyard , starting in the afternoon with a crab boil and extending through the evening fireworks . | [
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apparently we 'll get a good view of the country club 's annual fireworks display just down the river . | [
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my mom has absolutely insisted on buying me a new dress for the occasion , and even came into the fitting room with me to make sure it fit correctly . | [
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the shift dress is not exactly my style , but i 've seen it on plenty of girls at school . | [
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i 'm just worried about spilling tartar sauce on the bright white fabric . | [
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i pull on my new pair of gold wedges , and walk downstairs to see if my mom needs any help . | [
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i 'm taken aback by the flurry of activity downstairs . | [
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