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as i walk outside , i realize i 've underestimated the scale of this party . | [
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when i heard `` crab boil , '' i was picturing a few picnic tables with red and white tablecloths , but this is clearly a classy affair . | [
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there are elegant round tables set , with flowing linens and extravagant centerpieces on top of them . | [
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the food is presented in silver trays , and garlands festoon the perimeter . | [
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i spot my mom talking in hushed , urgent tones to one of the caterers , and head over . | [
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`` oh , brynn , you look beautiful ! | [
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that dress fits you so well , '' she gushes . | [
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`` thanks ... do you need any help ? '' | [
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`` mmm , no . | [
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i think we 're ok . | [
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the guests should begin arriving in about ten minutes . | [
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oh , go taste the freedom martini over at the bar and tell me what you think . | [
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i 'm worried it 's a little too sweet . '' | [
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`` the freedom martini ? '' | [
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`` the signature cocktail we created for this event , '' the caterer next to her chimes in with a chipper grin . | [
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`` ah , of course , '' i reply , heading for the bar . | [
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the bartender serves me a pale pink drink and i take a sip . | [
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not too sweet-it 's delicious , light and refreshing . | [
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luckily the day is n't too hot , anyway . | [
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the temperature has managed to stay below ninety degrees for the party . | [
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i decide to go down to the river since i 'd just feel in the way while they 're setting up . | [
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i walk down to the lower lawn and down the steps . | [
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as i reach the shore , i navigate the rocky sand cautiously in my heels . | [
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a splash on the other side of the large boulder grabs my attention . | [
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i walk toward it and peer around . | [
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nate 's standing there , skipping rocks with a smooth sidearm motion . | [
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i pause , admiring his form , then decide it 's best to just go back up to the lawn before he notices me . | [
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he 's made it clear he does n't want to talk to me . | [
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i turn back and as i walk my heel catches on a rock . | [
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i gasp as i slip sideways , and feel two strong hands catching me under my arms to hold me up . | [
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`` whoa , careful , '' he says as he straightens me up . | [
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`` thanks , '' i reply as i turn to him and tuck my hair back behind my ears . | [
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] | [
0,
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0,
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] | [
1,
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1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` you escaping from the commotion , too ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2017,
13002,
2013,
1996,
23960,
1010,
2205,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
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0,
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0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` yeah . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
3398,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i do n't really enjoy these things . '' | [
101,
1045,
2079,
1050,
1005,
1056,
2428,
5959,
2122,
2477,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` really ? | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2428,
1029,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
you 're so ... '' i trail off . | [
101,
2017,
1005,
2128,
2061,
1012,
1012,
1012,
1005,
1005,
1045,
4446,
2125,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` what ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2054,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
he asks with a grin . | [
101,
2002,
5176,
2007,
1037,
5861,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i groan . | [
101,
1045,
13001,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` fine . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2986,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i was going to say 'charming , ' ok ? '' | [
101,
1045,
2001,
2183,
2000,
2360,
1005,
11951,
1010,
1005,
7929,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` i knew it , '' he replies jokingly . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
1045,
2354,
2009,
1010,
1005,
1005,
2002,
14054,
16644,
2135,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` well , whatever charm you might be noticing has been developed over many years of practice . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2092,
1010,
3649,
11084,
2017,
2453,
2022,
15103,
2038,
2042,
2764,
2058,
2116,
2086,
1997,
3218,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
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0,
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0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
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0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
my dad has been dragging me to these kinds of events for years . | [
101,
2026,
3611,
2038,
2042,
11920,
2033,
2000,
2122,
7957,
1997,
2824,
2005,
2086,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i know the routine . | [
101,
1045,
2113,
1996,
9410,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
smile , shake hands , tell the kinds of jokes that do n't make anyone think too hard . '' | [
101,
2868,
1010,
6073,
2398,
1010,
2425,
1996,
7957,
1997,
13198,
2008,
2079,
1050,
1005,
1056,
2191,
3087,
2228,
2205,
2524,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
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0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` sounds ... horrible . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
4165,
1012,
1012,
1012,
9202,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
but at least there 's a lot of free food . '' | [
101,
2021,
2012,
2560,
2045,
1005,
1055,
1037,
2843,
1997,
2489,
2833,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
he gives me a bemused glance . | [
101,
2002,
3957,
2033,
1037,
2022,
7606,
2098,
6054,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` right . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2157,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
sometimes i forget i do n't have to worry about that stuff anymore . '' | [
101,
2823,
1045,
5293,
1045,
2079,
1050,
1005,
1056,
2031,
2000,
4737,
2055,
2008,
4933,
4902,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` you were , um , not well-off before our parents- '' he drops his gaze . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2017,
2020,
1010,
8529,
1010,
2025,
2092,
1011,
2125,
2077,
2256,
3008,
1011,
1005,
1005,
2002,
9010,
2010,
3657,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` i 'd say we were struggling . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
1045,
1005,
1040,
2360,
2057,
2020,
8084,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
but it was just the way i grew up . | [
101,
2021,
2009,
2001,
2074,
1996,
2126,
1045,
3473,
2039,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i never wanted for anything big , though we certainly frequented the goodwill racks often enough . | [
101,
1045,
2196,
2359,
2005,
2505,
2502,
1010,
2295,
2057,
5121,
24832,
1996,
22875,
27259,
2411,
2438,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
but i do n't want you to think ... i mean , my mom , she really cares for pierce . '' | [
101,
2021,
1045,
2079,
1050,
1005,
1056,
2215,
2017,
2000,
2228,
1012,
1012,
1012,
1045,
2812,
1010,
2026,
3566,
1010,
2016,
2428,
14977,
2005,
9267,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
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0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` relax-i do n't think your mom 's a gold digger . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
9483,
1011,
1045,
2079,
1050,
1005,
1056,
2228,
2115,
3566,
1005,
1055,
1037,
2751,
28661,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
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0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
there have always been some of those around , and i can practically smell them at this point . | [
101,
2045,
2031,
2467,
2042,
2070,
1997,
2216,
2105,
1010,
1998,
1045,
2064,
8134,
5437,
2068,
2012,
2023,
2391,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i mean , maybe at first i was worried , but i 'm not now . '' | [
101,
1045,
2812,
1010,
2672,
2012,
2034,
1045,
2001,
5191,
1010,
2021,
1045,
1005,
1049,
2025,
2085,
1012,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` was your mom- '' i begin , feeling brave . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2001,
2115,
3566,
1011,
1005,
1005,
1045,
4088,
1010,
3110,
9191,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` i do n't like to talk about her , '' he cuts me off , and chucks another rock out onto the water . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
1045,
2079,
1050,
1005,
1056,
2066,
2000,
2831,
2055,
2014,
1010,
1005,
1005,
2002,
7659,
2033,
2125,
1010,
1998,
8057,
2015,
2178,
2600,
2041,
3031,
1996,
2300,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
it hits the surface with a plopping sound and sinks . | [
101,
2009,
4978,
1996,
3302,
2007,
1037,
20228,
7361,
4691,
2614,
1998,
23462,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` sorry , '' i whisper . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
3374,
1010,
1005,
1005,
1045,
7204,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` how 's your shoulder ? '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2129,
1005,
1055,
2115,
3244,
1029,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` hurts , '' he replies shortly . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
13403,
1010,
1005,
1005,
2002,
14054,
3859,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` i 'll see you up there , '' i say after a moment , since he 's clearly done with the conversation . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
1045,
1005,
2222,
2156,
2017,
2039,
2045,
1010,
1005,
1005,
1045,
2360,
2044,
1037,
2617,
1010,
2144,
2002,
1005,
1055,
4415,
2589,
2007,
1996,
4512,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` hey , '' he calls after me as i climb the steps . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
4931,
1010,
1005,
1005,
2002,
4455,
2044,
2033,
2004,
1045,
7105,
1996,
4084,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` jackson and his parents are here . | [
101,
1036,
1036,
4027,
1998,
2010,
3008,
2024,
2182,
1012,
102
] | [
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they 're family friends . | [
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they 're on the guest list every year . '' | [
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`` got it , thanks , '' i reply , before mounting the rest of the steps . | [
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that was considerate of him , and it sounds like he was telling me that he did n't invite jackson himself . | [
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as i walk across the lawn , i can see that the first guests are beginning to arrive . | [
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i wonder if now that i 'm pierce 's stepdaughter , i 'm going be expected to put on the same song-and-dance routine as nate . | [
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usually if i have to go to a party , like my aunt 's christmas party , i 'll hang out for a while , and then disappear somewhere to read a book . | [
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my fears are realized as my mom waves me over to where she and pierce are standing with two guests . | [
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i 'm introduced to the couple , who turn out to be higher-ups for the state department , and my accomplishments are trotted out while they murmur enthusiastically , though i have to wonder if anyone could possibly be genuinely interested in such self-serving prattle . | [
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as we talk , my mom breaks away to greet the guests that are now pouring in . | [
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i listen politely as pierce chats away , impressed with his wit and charm . | [
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clearly nate gets it from his dad , even if he does insist that it 's a learned skill . | [
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i manage to slip away and head over to the buffet table . | [
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like any good maryland girl , i absolutely love crabs . | [
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as i pile my plate high , i feel a hand on the small of my back . | [
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i turn to see jackson grinning at me . | [
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with his open , friendly face , it 's hard to keep in mind what nate told me about him , and what i experienced for myself . | [
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`` hey , brynn ! '' | [
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he says , brushing a kiss against my cheek . | [
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`` jackson , good to see you , '' i reply politely . | [
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`` you disappeared so fast the last time i saw you ! | [
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i was worried , '' he replies . | [
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`` sorry about that , '' i respond , wondering if nate gave him any explanation . | [
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`` we ever going to go on that date ? '' | [
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i 'm saved by the sight of allison walking out onto the deck . | [
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`` could you excuse me for a moment ? | [
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my best friend just got here and she does n't know anyone else , '' i explain as i slip away . | [
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i wave at her as i approach , but she 's looking around nervously and does n't register my presence . | [
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0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` allison ! '' | [
101,
1036,
1036,
10786,
999,
1005,
1005,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
i call out , just ten feet from her . | [
101,
1045,
2655,
2041,
1010,
2074,
2702,
2519,
2013,
2014,
1012,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |
`` oh ! | [
101,
1036,
1036,
2821,
999,
102
] | [
0,
0,
0,
0,
0,
0
] | [
1,
1,
1,
1,
1,
1
] |