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nate asks , tilting his head toward me but not making eye contact .
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`` yes , '' i whisper back , unsure of what else to do or say .
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`` ok , meet you in there in ten minutes , '' nate says simply and walks out .
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i wait until i can hear him walking up the stairs before i move .
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i 've never heard a father talk to his son like that before , and our old neighborhood was n't exactly full of model families .
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and the way nate 's shoulders slumped as pierce was speaking to him , it was like he agreed with what his father was saying about him .
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i walk up the stairs to my room and change into my sweats , before heading back downstairs to make some popcorn-food always makes me feel better .
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as soon as it 's finished popping , i head into the den to wait for nate .
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should i tell my mom about what pierce just did ?
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would she even listen ?
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she seems to have drunk the pierce kool-aid pretty heavily by this point .
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and now that pierce has been the victim of false allegations , it will be even harder for her to believe anything bad about him .
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i glance up , frowning , as nate walks in and sits down on the couch next to me .
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`` i can tell by that expression on your face that you want to talk , '' he begins .
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i smile slightly , he knows me well .
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`` but the stuff with my parents-it 's off-limits , ok ? ''
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but i need to tell him that those things pierce said are n't true .
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`` just- '' `` no , brynn .
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i really want us to be able to keep hanging out .
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but if you keep bringing it up ... '' i sigh .
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`` fine .
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i wo n't say anything .
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in exchange , though ... '' i walk to the wide bookcases full of dvd options .
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`` no romantic comedies ! ''
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`` big fish , '' i say , pulling out the case .
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`` is that a romantic comedy ? ''
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he asks , narrowing his eyes suspiciously .
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`` well , not really .
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there is romance in it , but it 's more about a family , '' i explain , careful not to mention the predominant father-son themes .
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`` hey , friendships have to have some compromise , '' i add with a smile .
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`` ok , fine , '' he says , rolling his eyes .
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he takes a handful of popcorn and leans against one end of the couch as i pop the dvd in .
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as i make myself comfortable on the other end , he pulls a blanket from the back of the couch and arranges it over my feet , because he knows that they get cold .
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i feel a pang in my chest at the small gesture , but try to push it away .
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he 's not being romantic , just thoughtful .
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i look up at the large tv screen as the picture comes up .
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i feel more comfortable around nate than i do with anyone else in my life right now , so i have to settle for being friends with him .
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otherwise i could lose him altogether .
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chapter eighteen `` you and nate head down there so we do n't lose the reservation ! ''
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my mom instructs me .
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she planned a family outing to go rafting on the potomac , but pierce is stuck at the office in meetings , even though it 's a saturday .
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`` i 'll swing by and get him and meet you there . ''
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`` you sure ? ''
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`` yeah , he said he 'd only be a little longer , '' she assures me .
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`` ok , '' i reply with a shrug , and walk into the anteroom off the kitchen where nate is slipping on his sneakers .
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`` my mom says they 're going to meet us there , '' i tell him .
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`` fuck it , let 's make tracks , sis . ''
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he smirks .
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and off we go in his wrangler , nate blasting some god-awful metal music .
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`` how do you listen to this shit ?
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it sounds like two cat 's screwing in a trashcan . ''
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i shake my head .
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`` what ?
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this is slayer , they 're classic trash metal , you have to have respect . ''
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he says reverently .
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`` i always listen to reign in blood before all of my games . ''
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`` lovely . ''
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i screw my face up in mock horror .
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he turns it up louder , nodding his head enthusiastically as the guitar riffs collide into what i assume is his favorite part of the song .
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it 's strange to see him let loose like this , and even though i think his taste in music is horrifying , i have to admit i like to see him enjoying himself .
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thankfully , the boathouse is just a little ways down the potomac in the direction of the city , and i 'm only subjected to slayer for a few more minutes .
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the temperature on this august day is in the mid-nineties , but my mom was insistent upon doing a family activity outdoors .
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as we take a left on the dirt road with an old sign pointing the way , i spot an empty parking lot , and figure most people are wisely staying inside with their air-conditioning today .
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after we park , nate heads over to the wood-slatted structure to secure the boat , and i take the sunscreen out of my bag .
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as nate walks back over , he smiles as he sees me struggling to smear it in between the straps of my sports bra .
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`` want some help ? '
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he asks .
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`` ... sure , '' i reply , though i 'm anything but .
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the idea of nate 's hands on me , when i know nothing else is going to happen , sounds like torture .
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i might actually prefer getting a first-degree sunburn , but he 's already taken the bottle from me and squeezing some of it out into his palm .
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`` um , just pull the back of your shirt up , '' he instructs me .
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i do as he says , pulling it up to my hairline .
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i feel his greased-up hands slipping under the straps of my bra , and am glad he ca n't see the blush that immediately spreads across my face .
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i take a deep breath , trying to keep my raging hormones at bay , as his fingers slide around the side of my ribcage .
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`` now you do me , '' he says , as i release my shirt .
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`` that 's what she said , '' i mutter .
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`` ha ! ''
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nate barks , a short , joyful shout of laughter .
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`` i did n't know you were funny brynn , '' he says , grinning wide at me .
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`` there 's a lot you do n't know about me . ''
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i say , daring to meet his gaze for a brief moment .
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i clear my throat and take the bottle of sunscreen from him , willing myself to keep my thoughts clean .
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he pauses , then turns around and pulls off his shirt .
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i groan inwardly at the sight of his wide , muscular back .
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where are our parents ?
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i need some kind of buffer between us .
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but there are no signs of any cars pulling into the parking lot anytime soon , so i dutifully squeeze some lotion onto my fingers and then begin to spread it across his back .
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i carefully press it all the way up to his neck , across his shoulder blades-feeling the sinewy ropes of muscle there , down his back , and finally down to the top of his athletic shorts , my fingers venturing just inside his waistband .
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i hear him suck in a small bit of air , and see the slight throbbing of his member in his shorts .
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he 's trying hard to hold back , i can tell .
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`` ok , all done ! ''
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i say overly cheerily , as i hand him the bottle .
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nate tosses his shirt into the back of his jeep and begins to spread sunscreen across his chest .
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i keep my eyes trained on the hazy river .
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`` they say how long they were going to be ? ''
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`` nope , my mom just said- '' i break off as i hear my phone start to ring in my purse on the front seat .
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`` i bet that 's her now .
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hey , mom , '' i greet her as i accept the call .
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`` hey , honey . ''
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`` what 's wrong ? ''
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