character
stringclasses 47
values | sentence
stringlengths 3
455
|
|---|---|
Uzi
|
Bite me.
|
Unnamed Teacher
|
Uzi. [groans] Give Braiden back his sentience.
|
Uzi
|
Bite me -- [sighs] Her. I started it. And also, I'm dumb.
|
Unnamed Teacher
|
Uzi, you have to partner up.
|
Uzi
|
Several people wanted to, for the record.
|
Rebecca
|
No, we didn't. You freak us out.
|
Uzi
|
But mostly, bite me.
|
Unnamed Teacher
|
Yeah, she has trouble fitting in. We think there might be something damaged with her programming. Ho-- How is she at home?
|
Khan
|
Uh, s-sorry? I mean, she's a little "herself," but "damaged"? I-I-I m-maybe haven't spent much time, uh --
|
Unnamed Teacher
|
Mm. Mm-hmm.
|
WDF Guard
|
Mr. Doorman, sir? T-There's been an... ...Incident.
|
Uzi
|
Ugh, I'm sweaty! Who programmed that?!
|
Thad
|
You good, Uzi?
|
Uzi
|
I'm good. Better than good. I am God!
|
Uzi
|
[laughs nervously]
|
N
|
Hi -- Hi, Thad. Uh, thank you.
|
Thad
|
[chuckles] Of course, Zi.
|
Thad
|
N-and-M's. You saved my life. I-I don't think the colony is even serious about all this banishment stuff. Uh, more just confused -- especially with --
|
Uzi
|
The fact I'm too rogue to re-enter society now? I can never return.
|
Thad
|
The recent disappearances? A-And your murder-friend's corpse? When I went to grab your gun, it kind of looked like it... crawled away?
|
N
|
We can return a little?
|
WDF Drone
|
Yo, LadderBot 5000? We looked everywhere for you.
|
Solver Tim
|
[glitched scream] [distorted, slowed speech] Hello, Tim.
|
Solver Tim
|
Care to join me?
|
WDF Drone
|
Join you standing eerily still over there in suspiciously low resolution?
|
Solver Tim
|
Yeeeess?
|
WDF Drone
|
A'ight. [hollers] [gasps] [screams] [screaming frantically]
|
Solver Tim
|
[distorted speech] Flawless character acting, me.
|
Solver Tim
|
Improv game for more practice?
|
Solver Tim
|
[chuckles] We are a monster.
|
WDF Guard
|
Welcome back, Thad. Eh -- Uh, wait. Isn't she grounded, or something?
|
Uzi
|
Ugh, banished! Has my dad been saying I'm grounded?
|
WDF Guard
|
Genocide robot?
|
WDF Guard
|
Ohhh, all right. Just don't do it again.
|
WDF Guard
|
Get in here, ya goobs.
|
Thad
|
Yeah, where's Khan? 'Cause this looks, uh.. [cringes] ...non-ideal.
|
Unnamed Drone 3
|
Parent-teacher conference? Something about his daughter being more important than building a door in this hallway. Ugh. Kind of cringe.
|
N
|
Eww, yea-- [gags] Oh, give me a minute. Ah, yeah. Okay. Almost threw up.
|
Uzi
|
You good?
|
N
|
I'm good. Stop asking.
|
Uzi
|
Any forensic... things... over there? Do we have fingerprints?
|
Khan
|
I mean, you don't think it's my... parenting, do you?
|
Khan
|
I left her for dead ONCE. It sounds like she's bored in your class, and the other kids suck. Call her damaged again, and I will install a door on your face!
|
Unnamed Teacher
|
Where are your folks?
|
Doll
|
[speaking Russian]
|
Lizzy
|
That was the joke, idiot.
|
Lizzy
|
That girl is... gorgeous, right? I'm gonna let her in.
|
Thad
|
You guys... ...do that often?
|
Uzi
|
Ha-ha, no. I'm very concerned, but, also... pretty frightened, a little bit.
|
Thad
|
Hey, Zi! What's this thing?
|
N
|
Hey, isn't that your special eye?
|
Uzi
|
Don't call it that.
|
Uzi
|
'Absolute Solver'? 'Reboot'? Does this have something to do with how you grew your head back?
|
N
|
[giggles nervously] I actively avoid unpacking how that works.
|
Uzi
|
New material can't be pulled from thin air. If the wound is severe enough, this "Solver" might be some sort of auto-run program to collect more matte--
|
N
|
I want a frickin' ninja star!
|
Uzi
|
[wails]
|
Uzi
|
You good?
|
N
|
Ugh, stop asking! Chainsaw-hand time?
|
Uzi
|
Yeah, cool-cool-cool.
|
Solver Thad
|
[distorted audio] Yes, and, hello! [audio clarifies] It's me, Ted! Um, can I get a location? I heard "dentist's office"! I'm Thad at the dentist's office. Come over here for your... teeth.
|
N
|
Predictably terrible work, J. Why do you look so --
|
Uzi
|
Great! You look great, J.
|
Solver Thad
|
No, no. Wait, guys. It's really me! [audio glitching] [voice distorting] Is that a freakin' ninja star?
|
N
|
Kya!
|
N
|
Whoa! Ugh!
|
Thad
|
[exhales sharply] Lifesavers again! Thanks. SUPER invited to my shindig next weekend. Cool kids only.
|
N
|
[gasps] Eee!
|
Uzi
|
Aaaah!
|
Solver
|
[female automated voice] We're busy then, anyway. So, whatever. So lame.
|
N
|
What's with the voice, J?
|
Solver
|
Oh, J's not here. We are trying to repair that host as per our directive.
|
Uzi
|
So you are a program?
|
Solver
|
More like, you are our cute puppets. It hurts our feelings you don't remember us.
|
Uzi
|
N? What's with the mom hologram?
|
Solver
|
Easier to assimilate than explain.
|
Uzi
|
Not happening.
|
Solver
|
Fair, but poor choice. Now we will have to do something shocking.
|
N
|
Whoa -- Hey!
|
Solver
|
Goodbye, Dad.
|
N
|
Aagh!
|
Uzi
|
W-What?
|
Solver
|
Wait, what?
|
Thad
|
Uzi, shoot! Or give it to me!
|
Solver
|
Close one. Snarl.
|
Thad
|
Uzi, you good?
|
Uzi
|
No.
|
Solver
|
[chuckles] Pranked, idiot. You big stupid.
|
Solver
|
Lucky for you, it's snack time. Time to go into my mouth now.
|
Solver
|
Ow. And please, don't. And, also, I was using those.
|
Uzi
|
[groans]
|
Uzi
|
[breathing shakily] W-What was -- Which parts of that were real?
|
Solver
|
Sneaky, sneaky. Sneaking away. Get snuck-up on. Ow. Ow. [glitched audio] Ow. Ow-o-ow-o-ow.
|
N
|
[gasps] What... are you things?
|
N
|
Uzi?
|
N
|
What are you doing h-- [grunts]
|
Uzi
|
[whimpers]
|
Lizzy
|
Gorgeous, right? I'm gonna let her in.
|
Lizzy
|
Ah! Jesus. Sorry, industrial-strength-ghost, or whatever. Settle.
|
Lizzy
|
[clicks tongue] I hate your personality normally, but this is somehow worse. What am I being punished for?
|
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