character
stringclasses
47 values
sentence
stringlengths
3
455
J
Hmm. No way, buddy. Questioning the company? You just finally gave me the excuse I needed.
J
Worker Drones are corrupted, N. That's why the company sent us. I hate to see you corrupted as well.
N
[stuttering, glitched speech] Thanks, J. Always looking out for me. You're awesome.
J
[scoffs]
N
[glitched speech continues] Ah, biscuits. I'm sorry.
Uzi
I ruined your card game, then made you have an awkward moment with your dad.
N
And I made you rebel like an angsty teen, which got you killed. Though, you also tried to kill me, so morality calls this a draw.
N
[grunts]
N
[groans]
Uzi
For the record, that was the lamest heel-face turn in history.
Uzi
[coughs]
N
Being rebellious is a lot harder than it looks. Thanks for showing me the ropes.
Uzi
Nuh-uh, no bonding thing. You just killed a bunch of people, idiot.
N
That's super fair.
N
[sighs] I screwed up.
Uzi
[clicks tongue] Uuuuugh.
Uzi
In the same way you're about to fix it.
N
[laughs] I love doing anything.
V
[menacing laughter]
Khan
So, they found our evacuation spot. But if we build a quick door-
Uzi
[grunting]
Uzi
[spits] Are you kidding me? You're the WDF, right? Defend! For real?
Thad
Hey!
Thad
Huh?
Uzi
Put that conventionally attractive male down.
N
Oof! Oh, uh, J? You're sometimes kind of mean to me, and I wish you weren't. Just some constructive criticism.
Thad
Nice.
Uzi
Heh.
J
[growls]
J
Noted, traitor. We'll circle back after I rightsize your existence.
Uzi
Okay, which one do you want?
N
J, please.
Uzi
Too bad. Good luck.
V
[screams]
V
[laughs]
V
[growls]
J
[growls] Damn the well-made, quality-assured durability of JC Jensen products! Huh?
J
[screams]
N
[giggles] Ah! My mind's in a weird place! Don't read into this!
V
Ugh!
V
[growls]
V
[cackling]
N
Yah!
N
[laughs]
V
[laughing]
V
[laughs]
V
Uzi! I'm so, so sorry. Have fun repressing this!
V
Mleh...
Uzi
Eww! What the hell?
J
[groans]
J
[chuckles] You've got a lot of guts for a barely sentient toaster. I've had prey fight back before, but your edgy spirit is just so...
J
Painful?
J
[screams] Gah! Fourth quarter profits! Mother of company leadership retreats!
Uzi
One more buzzword, and I'll do it.
J
Equity partnersh--
Uzi
[sighs]
Thad
Holy hell, Uzi. That was insane! And you, too, uh...
N
Huh? Oh, uh, N. I'm an angsty, rebellious Disassembly Drone now.
Khan
[clears throat]
Uzi
I brought the Murder Drones here accidentally. You chose to leave me for dead instead of just frickin' believing in me! And that's not even an edgy teen hyperbole like when I said it last week!
Uzi
[sniffles]
Uzi
[sighs] I'll save you the trouble, Dad. I banish myself!
Uzi
Let's go, N. Everyone here can bite me.
N
Nice to meet you, Mr. Uzi.
Uzi
Shut it.
N
I'd join you if the sun didn't kill me. Hope you're having important character growth or something, though!
Uzi
Just can't wait to murder all humans. Classic robot stuff. I hope they're sitting pretty there on Earth. 'Cause we're coming for them.
Uzi
[cackling]
James
We've got to curb her trips to the dump.
James
And where is she getting the hair to play dress-up with them? Creepy.
Unnamed Drone 1
Oh! I-I'm so sorry --
Unnamed Drone 2
It's okay. I-I wasn't looking.
Unnamed Drone 2
[gasps]
Tessa
[wails]
Cyn
[scoffs] Move it, moro-- [sickly sweet] Hiiii, Tessa! Oh, no. Another one?
Uzi
[muffled] N, I found something in here!
N
That's weird and concerning.
Uzi
Bite me. This is probably you weirdos' fault.
N
I've never seen that symbol before. Wanna do an autopsy to find out?
Uzi
What'd you find?
N
Did you know that was a pilot hat?
Uzi
I was the pilot?! That's aweso-- I-I crashed and ruined everything. Spaceship pilot. Origin story.
N
[hisses] Speaking of piloting to Earth, are we sure "murder all humans" is, uh... [hisses through teeth] ..."morality"?
Uzi
The humans sent you without a communication relay and reformatted your memories to soup. Covering their tracks means they're past negotiating. Not like they tried negotiating with my mom.
N
Or, you missed the negotiations. The humans programmed us to solve a problem. Where's proof of your backstory? The one where your kind's so conveniently innocent.
N
[giggles]
Uzi
J was getting orders from someone. If not the company through that relay, then, uh, who? And how?
N
[grumbles] Quit complicating my murder plan.
Khan
Yeah, just fix 'er up, 'cause -- whoops. Pretty big security risk, in hindsight. Eh, you got this, uh... "LadderBot 5000"?
Tim
[groans] Please just leave the light-- [sighs]
Tim
Guh!
Tim
Eee!
Tim
[hollers]
Tim
[screams]
Unnamed Teacher
Mr. Doorman.
Unnamed Teacher
Your daughter has been, uh... absent.
Khan
Yes. On that "kill all humans" kick -- like when I was younger. Grounded herself, and all that.
Unnamed Teacher
Speaking on her behavior --
Khan
Of course, of course. Precocious; popular; supernatural understanding of doors. Takes after her old man.
Unnamed Teacher
Uzi, please sit normal.